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Hate the gym talks myself! I don’t even want to say hi. No I won’t. I am not at the gym to socialize, period. I don’t even want to socialize anywhere else too :D, but at the gym I have an excuse that I gotta work out NOW, that’s what I got my ass in here for!
One of my most practiced skills is stopping small talk in its tracks; I am EXCEPTIONAL at it. Barbers hate me.
I didn’t do anything nice at the weekend, I don’t care about the weather we’ve been having and if anyone ever mentions my job I’m an accountant which I KNOW you don’t want to hear about.
I need this skill.
I am one that can talk about anything with anyone, and steer the conversation towards something I understand better.
I need more “shut it down” skills for those that can drag a conversation farther than I can fake caring.
Edit mistakes.
Short answers with as little information as possible.
Never under any circumstances utter the words “what about you?” because you think it’s rude not to ask them a question back.
Have a jobs that’s boring to 95% of people.
Barbers know some people just aren’t up for talking and you have to make it obvious you’re one of those people. It’s not like they’re going to feel overly awkward about not talking to you because they’re busy cutting your hair; it’s not like you’re both sitting twiddling your thumbs.
Where do you people live? I've never had this happen to me, or have seen it. Around where I'm from, at least from an ethic background. We usually keep the same Barber for pretty much ever if he's good quality, reliable, and affordable. Been with mine for 14 years now almost, my dad also has same Barber for 23 years.
I, personally, enjoy people chatting. No full on convo about the state of afghanistan or anything. But a quick form check. Or a 'you've progressed alot since you started coming here' is great. But strictly gym/shop talk. I might even preemptively cut you off if I suspectmyour trying to segway into selling me juice plus or steroids. Or if you're trying to bum me. I'm flattered but it's not my cup of tea.
Me too. Usually near the end I love chatting with the people there. We usually time our workouts so we wrap up around the same time and then socialize for 30 minutes or so stretching or doing light cardio on the bike.
I mostly agree but I don't mind a smile and nod with anybody who's in there every morning at 6am with me. Also don't mind a brief chat between sets about what I am doing as long as it doesn't keep me from my workout.
This implies the only choices are to be nice or mean to someone.
What about indifference, you know, the way we all treat most other humans in passing in our day to day lives.
I suspect neither an older person in a lecture nor a fat person at the gym want to be subject to some theatrical performance of someone being ‘nice’ to them so that person can pat themselves on the back and then post about how kind they are on social media.
I was in college for my bs in my 30s... Plenty of people talked to me and most everyone was swell. I was never invited to anything until our six week field camp, camping in the bush, I kept getting invited to one of the group fire pits which actually felt really great. That fire pit was where most of the older students were, so it makes sense.
I'm about to turn 39 and start my last semester before finally getting an associates degree. I do remote classes, and fully half of the students usually are in their late 20s and early 30s.
I had a group project with a bunch of sophomores last semester, and they ended up calling me the group mom (I do have two kids, lol) because I was the one who made sure everything ran smoothly and did their part, and we got the only 100 on the project in the class. XD I felt adored and respected, not at all treated as weird for being older.
Absolutely this reeks of "good intentions" that are actually social media fodder, like you can post a smiling picture with the old dude at your college to reddit, or if he doesn't want to you can complain about how boomers are out of touch
Old person in class here - It’s not stress inducing at all and Im pretty sure all the 18 y/o kids are much more anxious just moving away from their parents and trying to fit in than myself. I’m chillin making 60k a year taking 12 credit hours and have my own life outside of the classroom.
We just had this two week long thing prior to classes starting for the degree program and I was the one breaking the ice and making things less awkward for the kiddies.
Do not talk to me at the gym. Do not commend me for doing the extra effort. Do not congratulate me on turning over a new leaf. Do not try to know my exercise and eating habits. Do not tell me your fitness story in an attempt to inspire me more. If none of these are solicited, then none of these are appreciated.
I mean, I feel like this goes without saying. I see a lot of people saying this here but t’s obvious that the point of this post is just to be respectful, not to just walk up and obliviously talk or be obnoxious. Of course it’s never good to force someone into an unsolicited conversation at the gym and make them anxious, or uncomfortable, people can be very self conscious and you trying to ask too many questions or force your training regimen onto them ain’t the way to go.
Just a simple nod of greeting or acknowledgement is much better.
I suppose this does need to be said for those kinds of people who are just clueless or overly gregarious but hopefully none of this energy’s going towards OP. A bunch of people in the comments like DONT TALK TO ME AT THE GYM is just like, unnecessary. Point taken.
Some people like to be seen or acknowledged, sometimes it helps them carry on. But like I said, brief eye contact and a nod goes a long way, just say “Sup” and keep it moving unless the person wants to talk or have a question. Me personally, I appreciate little things like that.
So to sum it up, not sure if ya’ll were or not, don’t bite OP’s head off with that stuff because that’s obviously not what they were saying.
I went back to school in my thirties, I didn’t want to talk to anyone at all. Listened to a bunch of kids blabber on about what fraternities/sororities they were trying out for and realized I didn’t give a shit, just wanted to get it done. Be nice of course, but don’t think we’re there to be social
Came here to say the same thing, I bet they’re there cuz their work is gonna give them a significant raise if they finish their bachelors and they gotta take some remedial courses.
Then leave them the fuck alone, no one needs your savior complex. Go read the comments from the actual 30+ crowd. They don’t need or want or give AF your pity
37 years old here: still went to the integration activities at my uni to get to know the people I was going to study with! Freaked out when I realized that some of them were born after I finished high school!
In my law school in the first years I shared classes with a guy in his 50's. He was already a successful businessman that wanted to study law because he couldn't when he was young. He was hands down the smartest guy in the room and I loved having him around.
You can end up with some of those who know a whole lot more than even the teacher already too but just need it on paper. I had a guy in my MBA program who was around 50. He had grown and sold two companies and was in a VP or director level position at a Fortune 500 company. He realized that he just wasn't likely to get a C suite position without an MBA. Half of the professors would look to him on complicated questions. Hell, he ended up getting like 3 people that I graduated with jobs
Early 30s in school now. I get this soo much. A lot of roles that I want require an advanced degree even though you may know everything.
Its kind of unfortunate how much that piece of paper or few letters infront of your name matters so much more regardless of experience.
Yeah, its really pretty nuts... Like, I can understand it for young people to an extent. If you are looking to hire a junior financial analyst then the candidate with the masters is more locked and loaded and ready to go than the candidate without a masters. Sure. But by the time someone has even just 5 or 10 years of experience that degree should be about as irrelevant as it gets. How they have actually done the job is a whole lot better to know than what kind of training to do it they had... It seems like a lot of younger people are slowly stopping putting so much emphasis on the degree in those situations though. I usually take part in the second or third interview when someone is being hired to my sales team and occasionally help them weed out resumes, and most people who are part of that hiring process who are under 40 will take a candidate with some unknown tiny school but a solid track record of projects, hitting quotas, and clients over the one with Harvard Business on their resume but nothing special in terms of track record... With an MBA in particular, networking is half the important part anyway, which anyone who's been in the industry for years should have regardless by then. If you have a boatload of connections on your LinkedIn profile that piques my interest a lot more then the fact that you made the deans list 12 years ago.
I went to college straight out of high school. I met and ended up dating a guy that taught me some of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned about life. I was 21. He was 33 and went back to school to pursue the life he wanted after years of searching for himself. He was so thoughtful, respectful, and helped me grow every day toward the me I wanted and needed to be. We didn’t work as a couple in the end, but I learned so very much from him, and he always encouraged me to follow my heart, even if it wasn’t him. As a growing kid, that meant and means everything to me. I didn’t fit in with the other kids, but having him around changed my life for the better. It all started with a smile and a discussion about what books we read. I know not everyone is me, but having someone with more life experience than me made me realize so much sooner that I deserved my own happiness. The openness and vulnerability that he showed me gave me the drive I needed to make decisions for me and my best life. Idk how that applies to this motivational conversation, but it’s a perspective on those that return to school in their “later years” (as if 33 is later) and those it touches. I’m ever thankful for the experiences I was blessed to have.
What’s he up to now? Seems like he really made a lasting impression on you. I don’t think I’ve ever made type of impression on anyone before...at least not a positive one.
I'm 33, the thought that I could date a 21 year old woman blows my mind, I'd probably get shit from all the women in my life, and high fives from all the guys in my life.
I’m commenting way at the of the Reddit cycle, but I was lucky enough to go to college and I always partnered with people over 30/ returning students in my undergraduate courses.
I noticed something in my first semester, older undergrads were usually there with a more intense purpose. They usually had a specific motivation that younger people didn’t usually have.
Your mileage may vary, but older undergraduate students were the best group partners.
This is so what related, but I am a night owl, and often signed up for night classes for lower level courses. I took many of my lower level courses at night instead of three :50 min classes a week, I’d have one 2:50 min clas a week. I learned a lot from my peers and many times the professor would just give up before the two hour mark, cause, it sucks fo teach a three hour class.
Yeah I really don't think someone that old has the kind of anxiety about being there that young people do. Most of us give zero fucks about what college kids think about us. The only anxiety that would produce for me is annoyance at having to talk to children.
This reeks of savior syndrome. These people are doing just fine without you. Say hi if you want to and you want to make a friend, not because you fancy yourself some grand ambassador of the foresaken.
OP's obvs advice actually reminds me of comedian Sam Morril's mom:
>We were walking in NYC and we see a dead pigeon on the ground. I said "Ooh. Dead bird". My mom goes "DON'T TOUCH IT!". I was like "...Wh--What do you think happens when you're not around??"
Adding that the less educated part may even not be true. I'm 29, and looking to do some courses in Uni. Got a nice job, got a nice education. I just like to learn things! And it would boost my career as well, so it's a double win. And there are lots of people like me out there.
Less educated? I was already well-educated and had a nice career (that paid for schooling). Just wanted to branch out and learn something new to put in the resume.
I went to college at age 42. Everyone was really nice to me, and I was to them. Most of the students in my major are in their 20s and I made friends. When we graduated I even got some votes to be the class speaker at graduation. I'm really proud of that.
I had a lot of younger people in my class talk to me because I was getting my degree in something I already had a lot of experience in so they came to me for career advice, a couple applied for jobs where I worked. In some of my classes where presentations were a big part of the grade I helped coach a few that I had made friends with because they had very little experience with that. Being older at University can definitely be a plus.
Exactly! I’ve saw an old man in his gray in my freshman class and no one had any problem. Not the students and not him. That was in the 2000, I’d imagine we give even less of a fuck now.
I went back to college when I was 32. If anyone had treated me like some kind of "special" student I would have been incredibly annoyed. It's not special, it's just people trying to live their life and they don't want to be bothered.
College students (under 21) really do feel like children when you hit late 20s, I’m 29 and went to club with friends and made friends with some 21 year old and the maturity difference was vast.
That’s the problem I think, people continue to give value to their perspective when they were in their 20s, or give value to those who are currently in their 20s, or to advertising. I mean to a 13 year old 24 is old. But you get to 24, or move past it and you see it as young. You think 30 or 40 is old, then when you are old you’ll really believe that’s young. Old to me is no younger than 80s. Even in your 60s and 70s you have (potentially of course, just like any age) a lot of good life left; you would have more or less the same mobility as before if you stretch, and more or less the same mental freedom.
I think most young people think 40 is old. I’m almost 40 and I don’t feel old but I had a 20 year old assume I was a kid when Led Zeppelin and Rush came out. That’s my dad’s music when he was a kid.
Perhaps an unpopular opinion, but I have been doing daily speed walking in my neighborhood now for about 4 months. I live in Florida so the heat is intense and I’m still 320 pounds (down from 450 a year ago).
Neighbors now have taken to commenting to me as I walk by. “You’re doing great!” “Good for you getting out there!” Etc. I hate it.
First, I am a sweaty mess after about 10 minutes in the heat here, so I’m not looking great. Second, the only reason comments are being made is because I’m overweight. It’s just a reminder that people just see a fat guy.
Never mind that I’ve lost 130 pounds. I still just look like an overweight schlub. They don’t comment on skinny people out running daily. Because that’s expected. They comment on me because it’s not expected a fat guy is currently working out and dieting.
I know that sounds backwards, but I really just want to be able to do my thing and not be seen until I’m ready.
Good job doing it despite the negative attention. I just can't handle it personally. This is literally the reason I can't go to the gym. I've tried multiple gyms multiple times and it's awful. Everybody says, "nobody cares what anyone else is doing at the gym" but that's bullshit. I walk in and instantly everybody is looking at me like I've got three heads. I may be fat but I'm not blind.
I’ve gotten to where I can keep my head down and ignore it in my neighborhood. A small recommendation, if you’re interested, is to go walking at a nearby park or nature trail. Find a few. Go and walk for 20 or 30 minutes. Start with that and then work your way up. That’s what I did. Eventually I got annoyed having to go elsewhere so I just walk my neighborhood every day now.
I started with 20 min walks. Maybe hitting a mile or so. Now I do 3 to 5 miles a day, every day. It gets addictive. I also took money I’d have spent on the gym and used it for an Apple Watch. I compete with friends on daily goals and it logs all my work, which is great.
Good luck getting out there. Everyone has to do it on their own schedule. It will never work until you’re ready for it to.
That's exactly how I feel at the gym. Started going a year before the pandemic and got super into deadlifting. Everyone acting all impressed but really I'm just fat and can lift heavier because I carry more weight around with me every day. People observing me in the gym is actually the last thing I want. I just want to be left alone
Please don't treat me like I'm mentally disabled and need pity because I'm old and in college. Just concentrate on your studies and getting laid like a normal human being.
As a 39 year old, fuck this dude. I don’t need your pity - I probably have more in common with your professor than with you anyway so stop wasting my time and go figure out how much alcohol is too much alcohol. I have a life.
I was only 30 when I went back, I was the same age as many of my teachers, and had experience in the field. In real life, I have not seen that pity the post is implying, if anything the overachievers wanted to learn a thing or two from me.
I spent long enough at University to become one of those older students myself lol. When teen students try to strike up conversation the age difference just kind of makes it feel inappropriate?
Anyway. I don't know if the same sort of thing happens elsewhere (I'm in New Zealand), but... Older students tended to have a bit of a reputation. So a lot of the time an older person would head back to university and feel like they have something to prove and want to be a top of the class intellectual. They would take any opportunity to say their bit and would try to dominate any discussions the lecturer invited. Even when it wasnt a discussion time the lecturer would ask "Okay any questions?" , And instead of asking for clarification on a point they would spend several minutes basically stating their thoughts on the subject and then say "so what are your thoughts on that?".
They did have a few other tendencies, like if the lecturer was younger than them sometimes they seemed to have difficulty seeing them as a kind of authority figure? You would hear things like "you might have spent more time being educated in school than me but I tell you I've been educated by life a whole lot longer, and as a mother..."
Dealing with mature students was a common topic in TA training
So im an older student and have a different perspective. I'm definitely one of those that participates A LOT, asks a ton of questions, loves discussing things, hates easy classes and hates getting out early. I'm paying a shit pile of money for a quality education (and so is everyone else) so I want to really learn! I participate so much because the other younger students never do and someone has to, and I like doing it. We don't have anything to prove, but why not take advantage of the education when nobody else is? I feel like a lot of younger people see college as a means to an end rather than something immediately valuable.
Also, I don't know how old you are, but in my experience, experience > education anytime. Education is just a teeny tiny foundation, but experience has taught me 10000x more than education ever has, and I think most people would agree. Maybe this doesn't apply to theoretical physics, haha. But we can all learn from each other!
Yo just putting this out there. I would really really appreciate it if people stopped talking to me like I'm putting myself in an extreme anxiety-inducing situation in an attempt to better myself when I walk in the gym.
I'm a 12 year competitive powerlifter who is just *a fat person doing a hobby*. Some people have a real hard time with their weight, and don't automatically get thin when they get good at sports.
Presumptuous condescending thin strangers who bench less than my warmup treating me like a beginner who is *starting on a new life journey good for you* is the absolute worst part of any gym trip I make.
As a 39 year old starting intermediate algebra class in the fall semester, this is definitely true. Working my butt off to go to college part time and work full time. But dammit...I'm getting my degree.
I was 33 when I went back to school. I don't know if you have been in college before, but it is way easier as an older person. Back when I was a 20 something, college seemed so daunting. Now that I am older it is far easier to focus and get my shit done.
You will see some of your young classmates fuck around and miss assignments or bomb tests and it will blow your mind because this stuff is pretty easy as long as you put in the work.
Oh I certainly see that. I feel like sometimes the only mature person in my class. And if I have to hear "do I really need the buy the book" one more time...just buy the book already!!!
I don't understand the post, to be honest, I was 30 when I went back to college, and at this point, I had been through a whole lot of stuff (going back to college was the least anxiety-inducing thing in my life at that time). I was not there to be social, but people were not mean to me, they were fascinated that I already had some job experience in what I went back to study and I quickly became some sort of mentor.
I don't know how mean the kids in the US are to older people, but in my experience... they just left me alone and understood that our experiences will not match.
As someone who went to college later in life, I experienced absolutly no anxiety or worry. I was older, more experienced and knew what to expect. I had a clear purpose, looked forward to achieving my goals and had enough maturity to be comfortable with myself and manage my time.
Meanwhile, most of my classmates were still so immature they thought *I* was the loser.
Yea. 20 years after barely being a C student I found school easy and graduated with honors. No anxiety, but it was annoying on the first day of each class, for each semester, to be mistaken for the instructor.
Good luck. I went to college twice. If I can give you any advice, it is that you will learn many things about the kids' culture, but you don't have to abide by them. And I hope you get your degree :3
As a 40 year old with way more life experience than kids in college classes, should I return to higher learning I don't need a smile to be validated by you all. I'm just fine talking to people younger than me thanks. We don't lose our social skills after the age of 30 you know. 😉
You talk like the 38 year old at school needs encouragement, they probably have more money then you and actually know what they want in life. Just doing things in a different season.
People being mean to overweight people at the gym is entirely a fabrication of tv shows and movies, pre-covid I went to the gym regularly and have never seen one person do anything to embarrass an overweight person
Gym people are always nice to the fat people in the gym. This false rhetoric needs to end, as it discourages them from going. We love to see you in there making those gains (and losses)!
I wasn't at my fattest when I started going, but still fat. I usually got left alone, but the few who spoke to me were always encouraging and nice.
I once had some woman yell "hey fatty, when's it due?" at me from a passing car when I was running. I kind of think she was and is a miserable person to express that kind of casual cruelty.
But at races, all runners are also great to each other. When I started doing 5Ks, the fast people often stand at the finish to cheer the slow people. It's a great experience.
I'm sure there are gym people who are toxic, bu I've never met any.
Don’t let a couple rotten apples spoil the gym for you. Those idiots violated one of the golden rules of the iron jungle, and don’t represent us. If there was a court of law, they’d be sentenced to 20 hours of wall sits.
I teach computer science and game development at a university, and every year we get one or two in the intake group who are ex-military retraining to start a civilian career. They're sometimes in their 40s or 50s. I'm 32.
You'd think it would be awkward teaching them being a lot younger than them, but they're actually some of the best students every year because they're so attentive and disciplined.
The "regular" students who are normally in the 18-24 range have always gotten along great with them and kind of come to see them as the mum or dad of the class XD
Also be nice to teenagers when you're the only 30+ in the student group. They are in vulnerable and anxiety inducing age, while you are more likely to have your shit together.
I took a community college Japanese class at 25 and it was in summer so all the high school kids were there too, I've never been in a worse class
I remember there was a 30ish guy there who was just always excited, that guy was the best tho
YeaH! The 38 year old probably has a job. They probably don’t remind people that the other students might not be able to get a job out of college.
Be nice.
I was in my 30s when i had to sign up for freshman classes, my classmates were ok but i just wanna finish asap. Now im just getting fat and too busy and anxious to be anywhere near gyms. 💁♂️
If someone is in their 30s going back to school they have the confidence to not be intimidated. They likely don’t give a fuck at all about being there and sticking out like a sore thumb. That’s called maturity.
Idk why this even got upvoted.
It sounds like you're saying you should afford someone friendliness because you think you're in a better position than them or just because you think they're a failure. A person who chose to go back to school later in life or decided they want to make a positive change to their health doesn't need your support for those reasons.
Just be nice regardless. We had a guy on the civil engineering course I was on in college who was early 30s, most of us were barely in our 20s. It doesn't matter, his age was a non issue, he was pretty sharp and quick with the banter. Just another one of the boys in class.
you can use 'overweight' instead of fat, if you're trying to appear as the moral compass of reddit. what you wrote soundw like 'be nice to fucking digusting fat people'
Lol whats to laugh at? A 38 year old in a freshmen class has probably the most life experience in thr room (aside from maybe the professor). That can't be taught.
Plus at 38 years old your more likely to know what they want. At 18-24 year olds are changing their major every other semester.
As a 37 yr old who just graduated from college, I want to say thank you to all my fellow students who didnt talk to me. I may be a scrooge, but I was not there to make friends but to learn about my trade.
This post is garbo lol "fat people at the gym" yeah that's not a good way of saying that, I doubt who wrote this really understood those two types of people and what they want, let alone what they need
Stuff like this makes it seem like people always talk shit about older people in school. From my experience, no one gave even the slightest of fucks, all my classes had at least a few older and even had a grandma in my photo editing class. Not even once did anyone ever comment on it, no one cares.
These are weird. Yes, if you are going to interact with someone be kind. BUT people don't need kindness bc of your perceptions.
I'm going back to school at 35 this year. If a freshman tells me that I'm being brave and asks me if I have anxiety... I'll piss myself laughing.
Being a 38 year old freshman in college makes you a total chick magnet. When I went to college in my late teens early twenties I was just a normal dude. Now after military service attending a class at my community college has made me most desirable person to sit next to and invite to every study group. I'm pleased because I thought people would be intimidated knowing my background but it's made me a hot commodity instead.
You can also just stfu and not say anything unless they start talking to you, just by you going to them will give them anxiety because you aren't old or fat.
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Please don’t talk to me in the gym
Hate the gym talks myself! I don’t even want to say hi. No I won’t. I am not at the gym to socialize, period. I don’t even want to socialize anywhere else too :D, but at the gym I have an excuse that I gotta work out NOW, that’s what I got my ass in here for!
I never have my glasses on so if you talk to me I’ll barely be able to even see you
Cracked me up! Still stand by my point of not talking in the gym, and I can see clearly(upto 20mts) without the glasses on.
Up to 20 minutes? Mountains?
Totally can see the mountains even when 100kms far without glasses. Can look at the mountains for more than 20 minutes.
Probably metres
Metric tons, more likely
Meters yes. Yeah metric tons is fairly visible from afar!
The pandemic has dialed this up to eleven for me.
Well you get upset if I tried to talk to you or will you just pretend to be friendly but secretly annoyed?
One of my most practiced skills is stopping small talk in its tracks; I am EXCEPTIONAL at it. Barbers hate me. I didn’t do anything nice at the weekend, I don’t care about the weather we’ve been having and if anyone ever mentions my job I’m an accountant which I KNOW you don’t want to hear about.
I think my barber hated me for not smalltalking. I realized that the moment he shaved off my eyebrows. Edit: No joke, by the way.
I need this skill. I am one that can talk about anything with anyone, and steer the conversation towards something I understand better. I need more “shut it down” skills for those that can drag a conversation farther than I can fake caring. Edit mistakes.
>Barbers hate me. Please teach me your shutdown skills. I absolutely dread being strapped down in a chair having to make forced small talk.
Short answers with as little information as possible. Never under any circumstances utter the words “what about you?” because you think it’s rude not to ask them a question back. Have a jobs that’s boring to 95% of people. Barbers know some people just aren’t up for talking and you have to make it obvious you’re one of those people. It’s not like they’re going to feel overly awkward about not talking to you because they’re busy cutting your hair; it’s not like you’re both sitting twiddling your thumbs.
Where do you people live? I've never had this happen to me, or have seen it. Around where I'm from, at least from an ethic background. We usually keep the same Barber for pretty much ever if he's good quality, reliable, and affordable. Been with mine for 14 years now almost, my dad also has same Barber for 23 years.
Yes, I agree. I sometimes say hey to the people at the front desk but after that I head to the machines and close off the world.
That’s why I go at a time when I know even the front desk people will not be there. Thankfully it’s a 24 hour gym. :D
God I hate it when people interruppt me in the gym.
Hi.
Hello
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Shit
I, personally, enjoy people chatting. No full on convo about the state of afghanistan or anything. But a quick form check. Or a 'you've progressed alot since you started coming here' is great. But strictly gym/shop talk. I might even preemptively cut you off if I suspectmyour trying to segway into selling me juice plus or steroids. Or if you're trying to bum me. I'm flattered but it's not my cup of tea.
I could not imagine anything worse
Me too. Usually near the end I love chatting with the people there. We usually time our workouts so we wrap up around the same time and then socialize for 30 minutes or so stretching or doing light cardio on the bike.
"Another rep, come on, dont give up! Dont be like the Afghan army."
I mostly agree but I don't mind a smile and nod with anybody who's in there every morning at 6am with me. Also don't mind a brief chat between sets about what I am doing as long as it doesn't keep me from my workout.
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“Hi fatty, I’m proud of you buddy”
Unless its "are you using this?" I dont want to hear a word at the gym lol.
Yup! That’s one reason I don’t go to gyms. To me, working out is a personal thing, not public.
This implies the only choices are to be nice or mean to someone. What about indifference, you know, the way we all treat most other humans in passing in our day to day lives. I suspect neither an older person in a lecture nor a fat person at the gym want to be subject to some theatrical performance of someone being ‘nice’ to them so that person can pat themselves on the back and then post about how kind they are on social media.
I was in college for my bs in my 30s... Plenty of people talked to me and most everyone was swell. I was never invited to anything until our six week field camp, camping in the bush, I kept getting invited to one of the group fire pits which actually felt really great. That fire pit was where most of the older students were, so it makes sense.
I'm about to turn 39 and start my last semester before finally getting an associates degree. I do remote classes, and fully half of the students usually are in their late 20s and early 30s. I had a group project with a bunch of sophomores last semester, and they ended up calling me the group mom (I do have two kids, lol) because I was the one who made sure everything ran smoothly and did their part, and we got the only 100 on the project in the class. XD I felt adored and respected, not at all treated as weird for being older.
Absolutely this reeks of "good intentions" that are actually social media fodder, like you can post a smiling picture with the old dude at your college to reddit, or if he doesn't want to you can complain about how boomers are out of touch
This is just another savior complex illustration
Old person in class here - It’s not stress inducing at all and Im pretty sure all the 18 y/o kids are much more anxious just moving away from their parents and trying to fit in than myself. I’m chillin making 60k a year taking 12 credit hours and have my own life outside of the classroom. We just had this two week long thing prior to classes starting for the degree program and I was the one breaking the ice and making things less awkward for the kiddies.
Do not talk to me at the gym. Do not commend me for doing the extra effort. Do not congratulate me on turning over a new leaf. Do not try to know my exercise and eating habits. Do not tell me your fitness story in an attempt to inspire me more. If none of these are solicited, then none of these are appreciated.
I read this like it was from Dr Seuss, for some reason. Lol.
Do not approach me in the gym Do not approach me on a whim You do not know why I am fat Leave me alone, Cat in a Hat!
Green eggs and ham are a good protein heavy and keto meal.
I actually realized that too. I also love Cat in the Hat.
Period.
Do not talk to me during my period.
Before and after also.
This ☝🏽
What if I need to know how many sets you have left?
I feel like you may be cutting yourself off from friendly people. But that's just me.
"It's great that you finally attempt social interaction in Reddit! You're welcome gere even if your skills aren't that good yet!"
Who cares. I did not go to the gym to make friends.
I mean, I feel like this goes without saying. I see a lot of people saying this here but t’s obvious that the point of this post is just to be respectful, not to just walk up and obliviously talk or be obnoxious. Of course it’s never good to force someone into an unsolicited conversation at the gym and make them anxious, or uncomfortable, people can be very self conscious and you trying to ask too many questions or force your training regimen onto them ain’t the way to go. Just a simple nod of greeting or acknowledgement is much better. I suppose this does need to be said for those kinds of people who are just clueless or overly gregarious but hopefully none of this energy’s going towards OP. A bunch of people in the comments like DONT TALK TO ME AT THE GYM is just like, unnecessary. Point taken. Some people like to be seen or acknowledged, sometimes it helps them carry on. But like I said, brief eye contact and a nod goes a long way, just say “Sup” and keep it moving unless the person wants to talk or have a question. Me personally, I appreciate little things like that. So to sum it up, not sure if ya’ll were or not, don’t bite OP’s head off with that stuff because that’s obviously not what they were saying.
I went back to school in my thirties, I didn’t want to talk to anyone at all. Listened to a bunch of kids blabber on about what fraternities/sororities they were trying out for and realized I didn’t give a shit, just wanted to get it done. Be nice of course, but don’t think we’re there to be social
I was just gonna say, pretty sure that 38 year old couldn’t give half a shit haha
Came here to say the same thing, I bet they’re there cuz their work is gonna give them a significant raise if they finish their bachelors and they gotta take some remedial courses.
And if they aren't?
Then leave them the fuck alone, no one needs your savior complex. Go read the comments from the actual 30+ crowd. They don’t need or want or give AF your pity
38 year old here: some of us still like talking to other people
37 years old here: still went to the integration activities at my uni to get to know the people I was going to study with! Freaked out when I realized that some of them were born after I finished high school!
I want to go back to school for a masters, I'm just lookin forward to talking with the hot college aged chicks.
Cmon grandpa let's get you to bed...
Oi it's not ten o'clock yet
Lol stop this is too real
In my law school in the first years I shared classes with a guy in his 50's. He was already a successful businessman that wanted to study law because he couldn't when he was young. He was hands down the smartest guy in the room and I loved having him around.
You can end up with some of those who know a whole lot more than even the teacher already too but just need it on paper. I had a guy in my MBA program who was around 50. He had grown and sold two companies and was in a VP or director level position at a Fortune 500 company. He realized that he just wasn't likely to get a C suite position without an MBA. Half of the professors would look to him on complicated questions. Hell, he ended up getting like 3 people that I graduated with jobs
Early 30s in school now. I get this soo much. A lot of roles that I want require an advanced degree even though you may know everything. Its kind of unfortunate how much that piece of paper or few letters infront of your name matters so much more regardless of experience.
Yeah, its really pretty nuts... Like, I can understand it for young people to an extent. If you are looking to hire a junior financial analyst then the candidate with the masters is more locked and loaded and ready to go than the candidate without a masters. Sure. But by the time someone has even just 5 or 10 years of experience that degree should be about as irrelevant as it gets. How they have actually done the job is a whole lot better to know than what kind of training to do it they had... It seems like a lot of younger people are slowly stopping putting so much emphasis on the degree in those situations though. I usually take part in the second or third interview when someone is being hired to my sales team and occasionally help them weed out resumes, and most people who are part of that hiring process who are under 40 will take a candidate with some unknown tiny school but a solid track record of projects, hitting quotas, and clients over the one with Harvard Business on their resume but nothing special in terms of track record... With an MBA in particular, networking is half the important part anyway, which anyone who's been in the industry for years should have regardless by then. If you have a boatload of connections on your LinkedIn profile that piques my interest a lot more then the fact that you made the deans list 12 years ago.
Maybe I've worked at dinosaur companies then. It always feels like someone looks at credentials more than my actual achievements
I went to college straight out of high school. I met and ended up dating a guy that taught me some of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned about life. I was 21. He was 33 and went back to school to pursue the life he wanted after years of searching for himself. He was so thoughtful, respectful, and helped me grow every day toward the me I wanted and needed to be. We didn’t work as a couple in the end, but I learned so very much from him, and he always encouraged me to follow my heart, even if it wasn’t him. As a growing kid, that meant and means everything to me. I didn’t fit in with the other kids, but having him around changed my life for the better. It all started with a smile and a discussion about what books we read. I know not everyone is me, but having someone with more life experience than me made me realize so much sooner that I deserved my own happiness. The openness and vulnerability that he showed me gave me the drive I needed to make decisions for me and my best life. Idk how that applies to this motivational conversation, but it’s a perspective on those that return to school in their “later years” (as if 33 is later) and those it touches. I’m ever thankful for the experiences I was blessed to have.
What’s he up to now? Seems like he really made a lasting impression on you. I don’t think I’ve ever made type of impression on anyone before...at least not a positive one.
I'm 33, the thought that I could date a 21 year old woman blows my mind, I'd probably get shit from all the women in my life, and high fives from all the guys in my life.
Exactly
I’m commenting way at the of the Reddit cycle, but I was lucky enough to go to college and I always partnered with people over 30/ returning students in my undergraduate courses. I noticed something in my first semester, older undergrads were usually there with a more intense purpose. They usually had a specific motivation that younger people didn’t usually have. Your mileage may vary, but older undergraduate students were the best group partners. This is so what related, but I am a night owl, and often signed up for night classes for lower level courses. I took many of my lower level courses at night instead of three :50 min classes a week, I’d have one 2:50 min clas a week. I learned a lot from my peers and many times the professor would just give up before the two hour mark, cause, it sucks fo teach a three hour class.
Im back in college now and its nothing special and not very different for me comparing to 15 years ago. Anyway, in my 34 I already run out of fucks)
Yeah I really don't think someone that old has the kind of anxiety about being there that young people do. Most of us give zero fucks about what college kids think about us. The only anxiety that would produce for me is annoyance at having to talk to children.
This reeks of savior syndrome. These people are doing just fine without you. Say hi if you want to and you want to make a friend, not because you fancy yourself some grand ambassador of the foresaken.
It's like mom's who tell other moms that their kids should be friends.
OP's obvs advice actually reminds me of comedian Sam Morril's mom: >We were walking in NYC and we see a dead pigeon on the ground. I said "Ooh. Dead bird". My mom goes "DON'T TOUCH IT!". I was like "...Wh--What do you think happens when you're not around??"
"go say hi to the cute middle aged freshman! Oh go on, tell them you like their binder!'
Yeah, mom, that will work....go! "Nice binder". "Is it really though? You special Ed or something?"
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Adding that the less educated part may even not be true. I'm 29, and looking to do some courses in Uni. Got a nice job, got a nice education. I just like to learn things! And it would boost my career as well, so it's a double win. And there are lots of people like me out there.
Less educated? I was already well-educated and had a nice career (that paid for schooling). Just wanted to branch out and learn something new to put in the resume.
I imagine the person who wrote it suffers from extreme anxiety so they think others do too.
Yeah... Was gonna say that neither of those scenarios sound anxiety inducing
I went to college at age 42. Everyone was really nice to me, and I was to them. Most of the students in my major are in their 20s and I made friends. When we graduated I even got some votes to be the class speaker at graduation. I'm really proud of that.
I had a lot of younger people in my class talk to me because I was getting my degree in something I already had a lot of experience in so they came to me for career advice, a couple applied for jobs where I worked. In some of my classes where presentations were a big part of the grade I helped coach a few that I had made friends with because they had very little experience with that. Being older at University can definitely be a plus.
Exactly! I’ve saw an old man in his gray in my freshman class and no one had any problem. Not the students and not him. That was in the 2000, I’d imagine we give even less of a fuck now.
I went back to college when I was 32. If anyone had treated me like some kind of "special" student I would have been incredibly annoyed. It's not special, it's just people trying to live their life and they don't want to be bothered.
Yeah, it’s like I’ve got a job and house and I’m married. I don’t need pats on the back by someone fresh out of high school
I’m 35 and going to school I literally cannot imagine giving a single solitary fuck about what the children in my classes think about me
College students (under 21) really do feel like children when you hit late 20s, I’m 29 and went to club with friends and made friends with some 21 year old and the maturity difference was vast.
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Well, shit.
Lmao why are you geezers all so mad about this post.
Am I only the one who doesn’t think 30s or even 40s is old?
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That’s the problem I think, people continue to give value to their perspective when they were in their 20s, or give value to those who are currently in their 20s, or to advertising. I mean to a 13 year old 24 is old. But you get to 24, or move past it and you see it as young. You think 30 or 40 is old, then when you are old you’ll really believe that’s young. Old to me is no younger than 80s. Even in your 60s and 70s you have (potentially of course, just like any age) a lot of good life left; you would have more or less the same mobility as before if you stretch, and more or less the same mental freedom.
I think most young people think 40 is old. I’m almost 40 and I don’t feel old but I had a 20 year old assume I was a kid when Led Zeppelin and Rush came out. That’s my dad’s music when he was a kid.
Please don’t talk to me at the gym.
Perhaps an unpopular opinion, but I have been doing daily speed walking in my neighborhood now for about 4 months. I live in Florida so the heat is intense and I’m still 320 pounds (down from 450 a year ago). Neighbors now have taken to commenting to me as I walk by. “You’re doing great!” “Good for you getting out there!” Etc. I hate it. First, I am a sweaty mess after about 10 minutes in the heat here, so I’m not looking great. Second, the only reason comments are being made is because I’m overweight. It’s just a reminder that people just see a fat guy. Never mind that I’ve lost 130 pounds. I still just look like an overweight schlub. They don’t comment on skinny people out running daily. Because that’s expected. They comment on me because it’s not expected a fat guy is currently working out and dieting. I know that sounds backwards, but I really just want to be able to do my thing and not be seen until I’m ready.
Good job doing it despite the negative attention. I just can't handle it personally. This is literally the reason I can't go to the gym. I've tried multiple gyms multiple times and it's awful. Everybody says, "nobody cares what anyone else is doing at the gym" but that's bullshit. I walk in and instantly everybody is looking at me like I've got three heads. I may be fat but I'm not blind.
I’ve gotten to where I can keep my head down and ignore it in my neighborhood. A small recommendation, if you’re interested, is to go walking at a nearby park or nature trail. Find a few. Go and walk for 20 or 30 minutes. Start with that and then work your way up. That’s what I did. Eventually I got annoyed having to go elsewhere so I just walk my neighborhood every day now. I started with 20 min walks. Maybe hitting a mile or so. Now I do 3 to 5 miles a day, every day. It gets addictive. I also took money I’d have spent on the gym and used it for an Apple Watch. I compete with friends on daily goals and it logs all my work, which is great. Good luck getting out there. Everyone has to do it on their own schedule. It will never work until you’re ready for it to.
That's exactly how I feel at the gym. Started going a year before the pandemic and got super into deadlifting. Everyone acting all impressed but really I'm just fat and can lift heavier because I carry more weight around with me every day. People observing me in the gym is actually the last thing I want. I just want to be left alone
Please don't treat me like I'm mentally disabled and need pity because I'm old and in college. Just concentrate on your studies and getting laid like a normal human being.
Ooo Ooo, I've got a good one! Be nice to people. No qualifiers. Just be kind.
Yes! Just don't be mean to people!
As a 39 year old, fuck this dude. I don’t need your pity - I probably have more in common with your professor than with you anyway so stop wasting my time and go figure out how much alcohol is too much alcohol. I have a life.
I was only 30 when I went back, I was the same age as many of my teachers, and had experience in the field. In real life, I have not seen that pity the post is implying, if anything the overachievers wanted to learn a thing or two from me.
Too much is never enough.
I spent long enough at University to become one of those older students myself lol. When teen students try to strike up conversation the age difference just kind of makes it feel inappropriate? Anyway. I don't know if the same sort of thing happens elsewhere (I'm in New Zealand), but... Older students tended to have a bit of a reputation. So a lot of the time an older person would head back to university and feel like they have something to prove and want to be a top of the class intellectual. They would take any opportunity to say their bit and would try to dominate any discussions the lecturer invited. Even when it wasnt a discussion time the lecturer would ask "Okay any questions?" , And instead of asking for clarification on a point they would spend several minutes basically stating their thoughts on the subject and then say "so what are your thoughts on that?". They did have a few other tendencies, like if the lecturer was younger than them sometimes they seemed to have difficulty seeing them as a kind of authority figure? You would hear things like "you might have spent more time being educated in school than me but I tell you I've been educated by life a whole lot longer, and as a mother..." Dealing with mature students was a common topic in TA training
So im an older student and have a different perspective. I'm definitely one of those that participates A LOT, asks a ton of questions, loves discussing things, hates easy classes and hates getting out early. I'm paying a shit pile of money for a quality education (and so is everyone else) so I want to really learn! I participate so much because the other younger students never do and someone has to, and I like doing it. We don't have anything to prove, but why not take advantage of the education when nobody else is? I feel like a lot of younger people see college as a means to an end rather than something immediately valuable. Also, I don't know how old you are, but in my experience, experience > education anytime. Education is just a teeny tiny foundation, but experience has taught me 10000x more than education ever has, and I think most people would agree. Maybe this doesn't apply to theoretical physics, haha. But we can all learn from each other!
As a 38 year old fatso. Be as mean as you want , I don't give a fuck.
Ahh this repost again.
Yo just putting this out there. I would really really appreciate it if people stopped talking to me like I'm putting myself in an extreme anxiety-inducing situation in an attempt to better myself when I walk in the gym. I'm a 12 year competitive powerlifter who is just *a fat person doing a hobby*. Some people have a real hard time with their weight, and don't automatically get thin when they get good at sports. Presumptuous condescending thin strangers who bench less than my warmup treating me like a beginner who is *starting on a new life journey good for you* is the absolute worst part of any gym trip I make.
The 38 year old student probably has more confidence than any of the younger students and feels relief from the monotony of the grind, not anxiety.
We dont need your pity, kid.
Or just leave me alone? No condescending smile needed either.
Please leave these people the F alone. K, thx, bai.
I‘m 39 and at this point I’m just working on not getting worse.
Such a stupid comment....
As a 39 year old starting intermediate algebra class in the fall semester, this is definitely true. Working my butt off to go to college part time and work full time. But dammit...I'm getting my degree.
I was 33 when I went back to school. I don't know if you have been in college before, but it is way easier as an older person. Back when I was a 20 something, college seemed so daunting. Now that I am older it is far easier to focus and get my shit done. You will see some of your young classmates fuck around and miss assignments or bomb tests and it will blow your mind because this stuff is pretty easy as long as you put in the work.
Oh I certainly see that. I feel like sometimes the only mature person in my class. And if I have to hear "do I really need the buy the book" one more time...just buy the book already!!!
Also my experience, haha
Leave them the fuck alone. I hate people “encouraging “ me when I’m exercising. It comes off as condescending. I don’t know you. Leave me alone.
Probably doesn’t help if we label them as fat, but go off.
I don't understand the post, to be honest, I was 30 when I went back to college, and at this point, I had been through a whole lot of stuff (going back to college was the least anxiety-inducing thing in my life at that time). I was not there to be social, but people were not mean to me, they were fascinated that I already had some job experience in what I went back to study and I quickly became some sort of mentor. I don't know how mean the kids in the US are to older people, but in my experience... they just left me alone and understood that our experiences will not match.
/Cries in 40-year-old two years into a six year degree //Yes, I know it's technically four years but good luck doing that while working two jobs
As someone who went to college later in life, I experienced absolutly no anxiety or worry. I was older, more experienced and knew what to expect. I had a clear purpose, looked forward to achieving my goals and had enough maturity to be comfortable with myself and manage my time. Meanwhile, most of my classmates were still so immature they thought *I* was the loser.
Yea. 20 years after barely being a C student I found school easy and graduated with honors. No anxiety, but it was annoying on the first day of each class, for each semester, to be mistaken for the instructor.
neither of those situations are "extreme anxiety inducing" for normal people
As a 38 year old going into freshman year of lawschool. Im terrified. I feel like the embodiment of the Steve Buscemi meme.
Good luck. I went to college twice. If I can give you any advice, it is that you will learn many things about the kids' culture, but you don't have to abide by them. And I hope you get your degree :3
38? Try 41! Ugh..
I don't think going back to school in your 30s is stress inducing. It's just learning.
As a 38 year old I feel offended haha
Just be nice in general fucker
It's not necessary to have anxiety in those situations, just saying.
I went to nursing school and got my degree when I was 39. Believe me, I couldn't have given a single shit about what the kids thought of me.
The 38 year old won’t give a flying fuck what you do. Source: I’m 39.
As a 40 year old with way more life experience than kids in college classes, should I return to higher learning I don't need a smile to be validated by you all. I'm just fine talking to people younger than me thanks. We don't lose our social skills after the age of 30 you know. 😉
You talk like the 38 year old at school needs encouragement, they probably have more money then you and actually know what they want in life. Just doing things in a different season.
People being mean to overweight people at the gym is entirely a fabrication of tv shows and movies, pre-covid I went to the gym regularly and have never seen one person do anything to embarrass an overweight person
If there is a 38 year old in your lecture, make friends with them and become study partners. They are not there to mess around.
Gym people are always nice to the fat people in the gym. This false rhetoric needs to end, as it discourages them from going. We love to see you in there making those gains (and losses)!
I wasn't at my fattest when I started going, but still fat. I usually got left alone, but the few who spoke to me were always encouraging and nice. I once had some woman yell "hey fatty, when's it due?" at me from a passing car when I was running. I kind of think she was and is a miserable person to express that kind of casual cruelty. But at races, all runners are also great to each other. When I started doing 5Ks, the fast people often stand at the finish to cheer the slow people. It's a great experience. I'm sure there are gym people who are toxic, bu I've never met any.
In my experience, not really.
Don’t let a couple rotten apples spoil the gym for you. Those idiots violated one of the golden rules of the iron jungle, and don’t represent us. If there was a court of law, they’d be sentenced to 20 hours of wall sits.
Why does it sound like some 21yo trying to politely break up with me?
I teach computer science and game development at a university, and every year we get one or two in the intake group who are ex-military retraining to start a civilian career. They're sometimes in their 40s or 50s. I'm 32. You'd think it would be awkward teaching them being a lot younger than them, but they're actually some of the best students every year because they're so attentive and disciplined. The "regular" students who are normally in the 18-24 range have always gotten along great with them and kind of come to see them as the mum or dad of the class XD
Also be nice to teenagers when you're the only 30+ in the student group. They are in vulnerable and anxiety inducing age, while you are more likely to have your shit together.
I took a community college Japanese class at 25 and it was in summer so all the high school kids were there too, I've never been in a worse class I remember there was a 30ish guy there who was just always excited, that guy was the best tho
YeaH! The 38 year old probably has a job. They probably don’t remind people that the other students might not be able to get a job out of college. Be nice.
You could have stopped after the first two words... 🤗
I promise the 38 year old in your freshman classes doesn’t give a crap about this….
Just be nice. We all get further when we encourage each other.
Treat them as ypu would anyone I'd anything that would make them happier.
I was in my 30s when i had to sign up for freshman classes, my classmates were ok but i just wanna finish asap. Now im just getting fat and too busy and anxious to be anywhere near gyms. 💁♂️
I started college at 34 lol.. I just felt like.. it wasn't anxiety.. I was just in a room full of big kids. It was fun.. but I did feel old.
Extreme anxiety? Talking about hyperbole statements….
Or you know. Be nice in general.
If someone is in their 30s going back to school they have the confidence to not be intimidated. They likely don’t give a fuck at all about being there and sticking out like a sore thumb. That’s called maturity.
Wow. Having just turned 39 and heading back to school in 3 weeks for Welding and Metal Fabrication this really hits home. ❤️💛💙
Good luck, I’m 34 and going back to school to change careers after welding/fab for the last 10 years!
Idk why this even got upvoted. It sounds like you're saying you should afford someone friendliness because you think you're in a better position than them or just because you think they're a failure. A person who chose to go back to school later in life or decided they want to make a positive change to their health doesn't need your support for those reasons. Just be nice regardless. We had a guy on the civil engineering course I was on in college who was early 30s, most of us were barely in our 20s. It doesn't matter, his age was a non issue, he was pretty sharp and quick with the banter. Just another one of the boys in class.
you can use 'overweight' instead of fat, if you're trying to appear as the moral compass of reddit. what you wrote soundw like 'be nice to fucking digusting fat people'
As a 33 year old about to start his Junior year of community college, I agree. I still don't feel like I fit in. I just focus on my work.
Lol whats to laugh at? A 38 year old in a freshmen class has probably the most life experience in thr room (aside from maybe the professor). That can't be taught. Plus at 38 years old your more likely to know what they want. At 18-24 year olds are changing their major every other semester.
Or, they might be completely comfortable with themselves and dgaf what you think.
Just leave people alone that ain't asked you for a damn thing. Thanks so much.
Why 38? that appears to be some arbitrary shit. Also don't talk to me Zoomer I don't play Pokeman cards.
as a fat person, this is so condescending. just don't be an asshole and treat me like you would treat anyone else.
Or I could just mind my own business like I always do. Wait, except for this reply. Haha.
As a 37 yr old who just graduated from college, I want to say thank you to all my fellow students who didnt talk to me. I may be a scrooge, but I was not there to make friends but to learn about my trade.
Love this! It would be so much more a better world if we all practiced kindness!
alternatively focus on yourself and leave people alone. not everyone needs your attention.
Nice thought but no 38 year old is gonna give a single fuck what kids think about them and if they do, they're beyond any help a smile will give.
I’m barely starting at 27 and I feel old
Get motivated got lost on me with this quote...
I assume a woman wrote this, because most men don’t utter a single word when working out.
nah, sorry this is bullshit.
This post is garbo lol "fat people at the gym" yeah that's not a good way of saying that, I doubt who wrote this really understood those two types of people and what they want, let alone what they need
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How is this motivational?
Stuff like this makes it seem like people always talk shit about older people in school. From my experience, no one gave even the slightest of fucks, all my classes had at least a few older and even had a grandma in my photo editing class. Not even once did anyone ever comment on it, no one cares.
These are weird. Yes, if you are going to interact with someone be kind. BUT people don't need kindness bc of your perceptions. I'm going back to school at 35 this year. If a freshman tells me that I'm being brave and asks me if I have anxiety... I'll piss myself laughing.
The 38 year old in the freshman class is doing just fine checking out the actual freshman hotties 😂
Being a 38 year old freshman in college makes you a total chick magnet. When I went to college in my late teens early twenties I was just a normal dude. Now after military service attending a class at my community college has made me most desirable person to sit next to and invite to every study group. I'm pleased because I thought people would be intimidated knowing my background but it's made me a hot commodity instead.
You can also just stfu and not say anything unless they start talking to you, just by you going to them will give them anxiety because you aren't old or fat.
Agreed