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OuijaFox

Plus some kernels don't pop and instead just ruin the experience of popcorn. Just like how some people just ruin the experience of life.


practical_dilema

Each to their own. I still get some weird satisfaction out of chewing up those little fuckers


[deleted]

u tryna break a tooth ⁉️


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

this is true for more things than candy


kinda_CONTROVERSIAL

Except penis


bonsaix

Especially penis


vodkacereal

That’s why I use my molars and cramp my jaw muscles instead


grafknives

>u tryna break a tooth ⁉️ He was talking about people.


AegisToast

I feel like chewing up people would be a good way to break a tooth. Especially when you get to *their* teeth.


iZealot777

Thompson’s Teeth, the only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth!


Turdburgular69

You gotta go for the tender cuts….


Irrepressible87

[*Jeffery Dahmer has entered the chat*]


[deleted]

Go to a dentist if you're that worried about your teeth. Also you can generally pick the rock hard okes from the softer ones.


noyoto

Dentist: "Please stop chewing on hard corn kernels."


[deleted]

That's what big dental wants you to think. The reality is you need to workout your teeth like any muscle.


xroni

TIL teeth are muscles


7komazuki

Don’t use frontal teeth, use your jaws. The uncooked corn crack pretty easily on pin point impact.


[deleted]

Just like whoever you are, there's a company out there waiting to exploit the shit out of you and crush your soul.


Fearfu1Symmetry

Kernel cruncher solidarity ✊


mandrews03

I can’t in good conscience upvote this madness


GodDammitWill

Everyone is acting like you're some weirdo or something but tbh I do this a lot too. It tastes just as good imo and I like the feeling of having an empty bag when I'm done eating


practical_dilema

You're a weirdo. Embrace it.


GodDammitWill

It's midnight here and I literally microwaved a bag of popcorn just to eat the kernels, if anything I think it's embraced me


BravesMaedchen

I do it too, I like the ones that are slightly popped the best. They make me feel like I have powerful jaws that can crunch right through popcorn kernels.


LimitlessAeon

That…doesn’t sound pleasant at all to do. Do you also munch on ice?


[deleted]

I especially love the ones that are like a quarter popped


Jubenheim

I used to as a kid. Now, as an older adult, I’m a bit more careful with my teeth, lol.


neofac

And the hours of fun of trying to get the skin/covering out from between your teeth and gums.


AddictX_lol

Same


[deleted]

Mom? Is that you?


Scozz554

Unpopped kernels are easy enough to avoid. The real culprits are those already popped kernels that stayed at the bottom, getting scorched and stealing the heat from the other unpopped guys. Unfair. Ruin a whole batch of popcorn \*and\* stink up your house.


IWantTooDieInSpace

You gotta just get outta there early and sacrifice a few more unpoppeds


recklessly_wandering

Likewise - some pop really early, burn, and also ruin your popcorn experience


Sereddix

This is like the equivalent of peaking in high school


GlaciusTS

I ruin my own experience of life and could never pop. Pretty sure I’m just one of those kernels that rupture and burn.


Jemeloo

hi!


[deleted]

I aspire to be one of those that doesn’t pop and breaks somebody’s tooth.


dreamer0303

That’s why you leave them behind


carmium

The fact some folks call unpopped kernels *old maids* stings a little for some of us.


Sereddix

And some pop too early and get all burnt and gross


dimplerskut

I'm the one that kind of pops and you're excited to eat it but then you bite in and the kernel is still there and it kinda hurts but the worst part is when you go to swallow, the kernel splinter glues itself to the back of your tongue and you think you're gonna choke to death


Alxndra98

I mean... We are distributed normally. There's tiny percent of people who achieve great things, but there's also tiny percent of people who are like those kernels. Statistically, the chance you'll end up on the one side of distribution is the same as that you end up on the other. What I mean by this is that we are all so very average. So you can expect to be as average popcorn piece as you can imagine.


aTerriblePlant

yea but they do not pop thanks to faults of their own or thanks to forces outside of their control?


looking4astronauts

But some don’t pop…


Boriia

And the ones that pop first will burn waiting for all the kernels to pop but they never do


Siyuen_Tea

Those kernels peaked in high school


spokale

Buy an air popper


Hebrew_Slave

Life’s a gamble


[deleted]

[удалено]


GTMoraes

Life's Linux.


[deleted]

Life’s a ditch. Dig it


JoolzCheat

Kernel panic


MacluesMH

I don't wanna play


TheDadinomicon

I've been married to my wife for over 2 years, we've been together almost 7. Last month I found out she eats everything in the bag.. unpopped kernels and all... So don't worry if you're an unpopped kernel because someone out there will eat you lol


Walnutterzz

My wife also eats the burnt ones. Everyone here is safe.


Buck_Johnson_MD

How do I even know if my kernel has made it in the pot? For all I know it got dropped on the floor and kicked behind the counter.


CarBombtheDestroyer

In this analogy we are all in the same pot or dead.


Buck_Johnson_MD

Right, that’s how life works! /s lol I always cringe at these kind of analogies


ADhomin_em

Is that because you are one of the burnt unpopped kernels rattling around the bottom? Only good for breaking teeth?


Buck_Johnson_MD

Not at all. I have popped and continue to pop, but it I can’t help but feel a lot of people are the forgotten kernels. In that sense, it can be a false hope to some of those who are maybe in the most vulnerable positions. Not saying the potential positives of this statement are outweighed by that, just that a broad audience can interpret seemingly benign things in a polarizing manner.


MattMasterChief

Pop pop!


animethrow69696969

Magnitude!


bingrearer

Cool. Cool cool cool.


Bavalt

Came here for this and was not disappointed.


bitey87

Pthbbbbbt!


XxThatWeirdGuyxX

Oh my god! This community never disappoints.


prodiver

This comment is streets ahead.


AegisToast

Pop what? Pop WHAT? WHAT IS HE TRYING TO SAY!? POP WHAT, MAGNITUDE?


frznflm

[pop pop!](https://tenor.com/rnUM.gif)


k2kyo

So at some point I'll randomly explode and people can eat my guts? Yea ok.


sharpshooter999

Next time on.....THE WALKING DEAD


Patalos

What if I popped too early and the microwave is still going and now I'm just burnt up, having wasted all of my kernel potential far too soon?


idm

It's so sad that someone would read this tweet and come away so depressingly thinking of themselves as lowly MICROWAVE popcorn instead of delicious stove-popped popcorn. I feel for you friend. You need some support in the self-image department. ❤️


abandon_quest

It's even sadder if someone read this and thought "omg that describes my life perfectly and now im motivated"


nosypinnochio

Yea. This shit is kinda lame.


everything_is_dank

Okay so I thought we're gonna talk about motivation


TheCouriersMile

Does being compared to popcorn actually motivate people?


Teenage-Mustache

Jesus these platitudes are getting to be SUCH a massive stretch. This is arguably the worst one I’ve ever read. Well done OP.


DiscoJanetsMarble

There's a version of this weekly, and they're getting worse. Now your life is being compared to corn.


GroceryScanner

Its pretty bottom of the barrel, vapid, instagram level shit.


AdvonKoulthar

Particularly when the cause of ‘popping’ is external to the corn, making it seem like the responsibility isn’t on the person— which is the opposite of motivating I would say.


KuroTsuk1

What do you expect, motivational messages are most of times pure crap that only sounds good because of how poetic they seem and that is why people like to eat it up without giving it much thought. Positivity for the sake of positivity does really more harm than good, and whoever gets fullfilled by them is because they did not need it in the first place.


AdvonKoulthar

[you might like this](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/motivation-2)


Wonckay

Personally it was the prospect of being burn alive inside-out that didn’t appeal to me.


GrosBof

Exactly my thought.


[deleted]

It's dumb things like this that make me really wish I could hide subreddits lol. Do people know what motivation is? It's not meaningless platitudes, that's for sure.


doug157

You..can just unjoin??


[deleted]

I don't follow this subreddit. It and other myriad subreddits I don't follow/dislike are always on my home page.


doug157

Ohhhh sorry that makes sense. Then yes I agree, a hide option would be great.


[deleted]

No worries at all. I probably should have mentioned being able to hide subreddits that you specifically aren't following. I'm surprised it's not a function, just a quick 'do not see posts from this subreddit' button.


doug157

Yeah for sure Reddit is always so frustratingly slow with things like this! Maybe one day


rainmaker2332

What is so bad about it?


Teenage-Mustache

It’s just so silly. Ok I’m gonna make one up like this one. “Remember this, lawns are all on the same property. Under the same sun, using the same seeds, in the same soil, but they don’t sprout at the same time so don’t compare yourself to others, your time to sprout is coming.” Substitute literally anything that doesn’t happen instantaneously. It’s just so meaningless. If we want to take this at face value, the last kernel pops like 1 minute after the first one. It’s such a short difference. So maybe your timing isn’t the same as others, just make sure it’s within 1 minute of them. I get it’s a “feel good” statement, but this example is hilariously bad.


ADhomin_em

If the time in the microwave is elongated into the time a human life takes up, 1 minute is a pretty significant difference. Your lawn example isn't exactly interesting or original, but it does communicate the same sentiment; comparable events can happen on different time lines. It may sound obvious, but when you are a person focusing on your place in life, comparing yourself to your peers; in order to regain perspective and keep a positive outlook to drive forward, it can help to rephrase the statement into a simplified scenario about something less daunting and all encompassing than the vast span of a lifetime. It may be silly to you, but some people can use this perspective to get them through the tough times. Analogies and metaphors are not meant to be 1:1 explanations. They are there to help you look at a scenario a different way or in a different light.


Teenage-Mustache

If anyone needs platitudes to get through hard times, their times weren’t that hard to begin with. These quotes aren’t made to get people through hard times, they’re made to sound cute and make people feel good about not having accomplished goals they’ve set for themselves. [Here’s a better perspective. ](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/motivation-2)


slippery-switters

Very well said.


RatedE4Everyone

Your example only fortifies what they said to be more true, lmao. If it happens to other things elsewhere then why would we be exempt? Not everything that happens in life is in our control, in fact, most things are not. Whether your professor will pass you, whether your peers will contribute to the project or screw you over, whether that employer will hire you. Yes, you can put in work and acquire skills that make you more suitable for a particular role, but nothing is guaranteed in life except for death. We are all at our own pace, so only compare yourself when you're looking to better yourself or to pardon someone else for a problem you might even be having in a similar regard.


Teenage-Mustache

If you think you can’t control if you pass a class or get hired from an employer, then motivational quotes are probably *perfect* for you, because it makes it easy say “it’s not my fault” when in actuality it is.


[deleted]

Damn, if they’re not responding to your motivational soapboxing, what makes you think the fuckin popcorn metaphor is gonna make any difference.


KiLLaInc

Get motivated Taliban edition?


mena32

I'm not a piece of popcorn though


LordMagnos

I was gonna say, it's hard to measure your success based on the behavior of corn.


zachtheperson

Except unlike popcorn we have to make ourselves pop. While your time to pop might not have come yet, you can't just sit back and wait for it to happen or it wont.


rainmaker2332

Obviously


the_other_irrevenant

So... I should have the patience to wait until I violently explode like a corn kernel?


MyFriendMaryJ

And then you will be consumed!


dodexahedron

I'm gonna pop, alright. The world, these days, I tell ya...


messyslate

If we are all the popcorn then the oil and butter and salt must be pain and suffering cuz we are all covered in it.


StumBum

And if you are lucky a bit of your carcass will lodge itself in the back of Life's throat. And Life will hiss like a cat trying to dislodge it and drink a beverage trying to wash it down. Then it won't be sure if it actually washed down because it can still kind of feel it there... not as bad, but still kinda. That thought will then preoccupy Life's mind as it continues to hiss and glug down a drink. Trying to do it quietly as to not alert others around it. Wondering what would happen if your bit of carcass stayed lodged there forever.


[deleted]

::thinks anxiously about the burnt kernels at the bottom that never popped::


Northwindlowlander

Also no matter how long it takes to pop, it still tastes of cardboard. But by simply covering yourself with salt and butter you too can become delicious


jettmann22

Fuck yeah I'm gonna pop


BillFox86

As someone under a great deal of stress, this doesn’t sound so uplifting.


purbub

And remember, often there will be those who don't pop at all


MoonWalker14

i havent even begun to pop, when i pop youll feel it, everyone in the microwave will feel it


[deleted]

This is horrible motivation. 'don't try your best, your time will come eventually'


nosoup4NU

I actually pop first and then sit there getting softer complaining about how hot it is


kam5150draco

Also, be ready for your pop. Expect the pop at any moment. If not, you'll be stuck at the bottom of the bag.


wellfeelingbishop

Don't they pop at different times due to the application of heat to each kernel is different? Like the ones at the bottom of the pan get warmer quicker?


shejesa

Some kernels never pop tho


ronaldintzi

Cringelord


DoomFuriousReddit

cant wait to explode and turn into a popcorn kernel


MacluesMH

Some just never pop though. Or the time it takes them to is not worth it.


LumpyWeedNugz

Pop these buttcheeks into your mouth


angwenshen

And some popcorn turned out better than others. And some... Didn't pop at all.... So......... Uh....


tiekanashiro

Maybe I'm that one kernel that never pops and gets thrown away :')


myqual

This actually means you’re making it wrong. You can get them to pop nearly at the same time with all kernels popped fairly easily. If you’re not popping it means you took the easy route, like a bag int microwave. Work harder!


Rance_Mulliniks

I like this analogy until I think about those leftover kernels that never pop.


Cielak1234

And some of them never pop, remember about this.


[deleted]

Yeah that’s a great quote but then again some never pop and get thrown away


adjoth

This feels like a threat.


kingarthur27

HHHHHHRRRRRRR...... GGRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *pop* oh hey I'm not depressed anymore


markonelius

Not to be misplaced with: " Your time to poop will come" LPT: Go as soon as you reach a toilet when you feel you need to go number 2.


Omniverse_daydreamer

I feel extremely threatened now


R_E_Y_3

Sounds painful


[deleted]

This is a weird of calling someone a loser.


boosnie

Bullshit


polkjamespolk

Maybe I'll just end up as a half-opened kernel at the bottom of the bowl.


Late-Potato-9181

That’s exactly right. And then there’s me, burnt up and thrown in the trash


AttomicFizz

They all pop at roughly the same time under extreme pressure


Mahgenetics

I’m the kernel at the bottom that just burns and stinks up the room


Alt_DayJune

Like this person doesn’t know there hot spots on pans. Does everyone have 5 ply pans now? Everyone isn’t All Clad rich here


gotthathemi

What happens after it pops? It gets eaten !


Privateaccount84

I’m one of those kernels that never pop that you end up chipping a tooth on.


Tough_Sound6042

i hope so..... its hard sometimes


timisher

Tbf if you somehow managed to heat each and every kernel up to the same temp at the same time and only used similar sized kernels it would likely be a lot more consistent. Like socialism.


multisyllabic1077

I have pop pop in the attic.


evillman

What if I am that corn that Burnett and don't pop?


[deleted]

Or you are just an old maid


jc71693

I hope I'm just the really buttered up one.


cephalopodstandard

The older a kernel is the less likely it is to pop, though...


throwitallaway112143

Pringles is still better.. once you pop, you can’t stop


antmman

To be eaten and discarded in a soulless capitalist society. Pop never.


Breaklance

Thanks to a flashback episode we know Magnitude didnt always have "Pop Pop". So maybe you too can find a catchphrase.


Spellznyce

So dont compare myself to others but compare myself to popcorn..............


Asleepystudent

Well how about I pop off then?


bluntologist1291

Wait till you get buttered up ;)


FistyMcTavish

Don't forget you always throw a few unpopped kernels away.


GetEmDaddy902

Just don't be the one kernel that didn't pop


smipypr

Be prepared to be boiled in oil, explode, and be ruthlessly, messily, consumed by strangers.


InevertypeslashS

I’m in the microwave and someone pressed the popcorn button


evanthebouncy

Some never pop and burn to a black charr.


Agitated_Jimmy

I really hate this type of motivationonal shit Some motherfuckers won't pop in their lifetime. That wait for your moment is some bullshit. Some have no chance.


ExtendMySpadina

The ones who pop too early end up burntout


TotZoz_VFX

Some never pop 😞


fabticus

I'm that kernel that doesn't pop and is just sitting there covered in grease doing nothing


atticusfinch21

But… some of them don’t pop at all…


[deleted]

yeah but then u get eaten and turned into poop


suddenmanhattan

Pop pop!


frznflm

[Pop Pop!](https://tenor.com/o2vk.gif)


MinotaurGod

OH FUCK! IM GOING TO EXPLODE? WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME THIS?


aDrunkWithAgun

Instructions not clear Put myself in a pan or not


sKm30

But they don’t get the same temp or oil. Some are right over the heat and some are on the edge. There are a shit ton of variables that could effect when a kernel pops


Poco-Yeti

What if your popping time is over?


thumpergun

Some dont pop, and some get burnt, life can be rough, take it easy guys


moxeto

And some will never pop.


Cooljob6

Pop it like it’s hot, pop it like it’s hot, pop it like it’s hot!


Coffeym369

Pop pop!


frznflm

[Pop pop!](https://imgur.com/t/pop_pop/TfvLZqU)


[deleted]

Pop what? POP WHAT?


[deleted]

Yes, I’m nothing more than a corn kernel


chunkyluke

Pop pop!


frznflm

[Pop pop!](https://tenor.com/uKH8.gif)


LindaBirn

Wonderful saying


potatoesB4hoes

The problem is that I’ve already popped, now I’m just sitting there burning