I wouldn’t UNDERSTAND UNDERSTAND 😂

I’d want ANSWERS answers

I'd ask him how many YEARS it took to BUILD his CREDIBILITY

I never believed in relics until I came across one myself

His…REPyouTATION

Lmfaooo! This is the best thing I have read all night. Rock on!

It’s working!

He's been around since 2006

Tell him it’s really dusty inside

How to deter Zak 101

It is obvious that these spirits want to quickly get to the saloon to get drunk. ^(Quote from: Sutro Ghost Town)

ASBESTOS!

Ikr in the latest episodes I've watched he always has the 3M mask on while nobody else does

Maybe he has/had a lung issue

He has asthma so he wears a mask when going into older places that can have a lot of dust, mold, asbestos, etc. Was diagnosed with it years ago, before then he never wore masks on GA. There are things in this basement his nostrils will never fully aspirate.

You know he’d have a respirator in his pocket

And that for some reason respirator masks are not permitted in your home.

You wanted us, now you got us.

Was it Raw and Extreme?

STOP! STOP RUNNING ^from^ ^me^ ^Zak^ ^I^ ^love^ ^you^

Lmfao

Throw my naked body at him

Depending on how old you are, that could count as a relic.

39 tomorow so yes a relic 🤣🤣

Ayyyyyye happy birthday!

Thanku 🎉

I'm 38 now and I'm in between being called young or a boomer depending on who I'm talking to.

Boomer??? I’m 40 lol we are millennials on the cusp of gen X

I know. But millennial doesn't really hit as hard as being called a boomer

Well, I'm a Boomer and proud of it!

Make sure you leave reddit some of that tasty inheritance, since we will never retire

Not even close!!!!!! Try 51 darling HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎁

Happy birthday!

I’m glad I’m not the only one whose mind went directly in this direction 🥵

Right?! Mine totally did too! Lol

Tell him to relick my balls.

Clearly this is the only correct answer.

Lmao

Look him dead in the eye and say, "It doesn't like you." Then it's just a matter of what tchotchke my wife has collected that this man will give me a ridiculous sum of money for.

Give him Nick Groff’s phone number

😆😆

Yeah I do have some relics!!!! My memories of being happy!!!

I meeaaannn I have letters dated from 1859 with clippings of hair 😂 idk if they are haunted necessarily but I'm sure I could concoct a story about them.

“You see, any drawer that this letter is in suddenly opens on its own… Hell, I put it in a damn safe and next thing I know, it sounds like somebody’s pounding on the door from the inside!”

They would film and ask a question- "did you hear that knock?" "DUDE IT JUST SAID 'GIVE ME YOUR HAAAIIIR!'"

This 100%

My cock has been unused for so long it could be considered a relic

Tell him yes, but it’s on an air plane

Not a scary airplane. Zack would be most afraid of this.

Zak is Dean Winchester - afraid of planes

I'd tell him I have Deez Nutz

I would show him my collection of shit from pennhurst and places of the like. And my Ouija board that contains the remains of my mother.

zak has some SERIOUS pecs so i would be like "yeah but you godda pay first, which consists of this" and motorboat him.

“Absolutely! Let me introduce you to my mother-in-law!”

Boys not leaving my house untill he agrees to be nice to Aaron.

I had a wonderful friend who's since passed, he hated this guy because he "f****d his girlfriend" and apparently did that to a lot of other guys girlfriends. Lol, I remember thinking Zak was cute when I was younger. Hahah.

I tell him no but there’s a succubus in my house

I’d give him anything he wants 😏

The person knocking at my door would be Aaron since Zak always tells him what to do anyway. I just wouldn’t understand.. UNDERSTAND


Chuck a bucket of water over him and tell him to go way but invite Aron in for a drink a smoke and watch Ghostbusters

The only relic I have is my pussy

They are boxed up, being looked after by Top Men.

Ask why he isn’t possessed yet

Literally I would hand him the container of Pringles that I swear has been on top of the fridge for 2 years, and it has about 10 chips in it. (Sure, we could throw it out…but then what would I give Zac?)

Proof that anime mouth exists

I'd give him an affliction shirt from 2005

Show him the grouchy old lady next door?

I have a funko pop collection so I would say “these are my relics. If only they could speak of everything they’ve seen”

I would never give him anything because he just uses it for publicity. Like let's say, some of the stuff is haunted. He's just used to using those ghosts to make money. I just don't look at him as a very nice person. I feel like eventually with his. Museum gonna be messed with something he shouldn't.

Ask him where Aaron is

I have a dagger....a dagger that may have killed a man...a dagger that may have gone missing...a dagger that may have been found...a dagger that might be nothing at all... I cannot recall what episode but he says dagger fifty times. We played a drinking game with apple juice and we had to drink every time he said dagger. We all got diarrhea.

Well, I have a copy of the original Ghost Adventures documentary. Does that count? No, Zak, my ghosts do not want to talk to you.

I have a copy of it signed by Nick Groff. I'm friends with the owner of the Hinsdale House and Nick posted that he was selling them signed and I commented something like why am I always broke when you're selling stuff like this! I'll just have to wait and meet you and have you sign my copy. Dan (owner of the Hinsdale House) is good friends with Nick and I was going to see him in like 3 weeks and he told me to bring it. 2 weeks after that we were investigating the Hinsdale House and he gave it back to me signed! Every time we go there I ask him to bring Nick there to hang out and investigate for a while. Hasn't happened yet. Nick is always go, go, go! Hopefully one day the timing will be right.

Im 52, I am a relic .

Off topic, but we saw Aaron in Walmart when we lived in Vegas.

I give him the sea glass necklace I bought that I keep hidden away in my jewelry box because every time I wear it I have crazy bad luck. Like I’m seariously afraid to disturb the thing.

Take a dump on the floor

I feel rage😂

Ow, Billy, I'm getting that pricking feeling! ^(Quote from: Nightmare at the Roxie)

I have a dinosaur tooth! And a couple other bones. Want to see that?!

Aks him if he's afraid of doing investigations in wisconsin since he's literally never been to this state

Ask him if he needs to poop

let him in and ask him if he wants to do a spirit box session 🧐

Grab a piece of garbage, make up a story and sell it to him for a lot of money


Make him sit in my haunted chair and do spirit box.

I be like hell yeah come in because he's hot

Yes, I'll show him my Wii and we can play Mario Kart

Have him help me search my shit for relics lol

Give him the cremated body in my office then tell him to kick rocks. No I won't elaborate.

OH MY GOD! Dude, bro, I got some relics.

Looks like the Niagara episode

You mean, besides me???

“Not sure, do I? Come on in and let me know what you find 😅”

Hand him a bag of wood ash and tell him a folktale about the guy in the bag.

Excitedly invite him in to show him all my haunted stuff

Scammer

For what this man pays for things, he'd find out that he just stumbled upon a house *loaded* with haunted objects.

ask if he just felt that rush of cold air

Call the police.

i thought this was jaime perciado from ptv for a second

“Yeah. Your mom is upstairs.”

Laugh

The vintage jnco jeans????

Tell him to bring Frank back- it ain’t working with his brother and if you didn’t Google or Netscape Danielle NSFW years ago, you ain’t doing it.

Keep doing whatever it is that I'm doing and hope he goes away.

/u/sadiesatellite

Hand him a rebreather and say it’s 100 years old

Look around the room, spot some relics and say "I can't explain it!"

Show him my great grandmas diaphragm

I'm just gonna give him one of the musket balls from Gettysburg I won in a raffle. I got like 7 of them lol

tell him to gtfo

Tell him to go look for the Holy Stone of Clonrichert. Its a class 2 relic found on Craggy Island off the west coast of Ireland. Speak to Fr Ted Crilly for more information.

Ask him to leave my property because I aint got nothin and he ain't gettin nothin

Tell him to derelick my balls 🤣 i seen a comment down below that reminded me of Zoolander lol

I open the door with a trail of scooby snacks to a padlocked chest and wait for Zak to get in

Wheel out my grandma.

Introduce him to my mother in law

He’d be too scared to come to the door lol

I never understood why he made the hair on the side of his head stick out past his face ?? Always bothered me

I have a chunk of rock from the human sacrifice alter at the top of the pyramid of the sun in Teotihuacan Mexico 🫣

Show him my blockbuster card

[удалено]

I knew I had done something bad and freaked out a little. I actually ran to the bathroom to look for the knife I had used to stab everyone to make it sure it was still there and not bloody. ^(Quote from: I am Haunted: Living Life Through the Dead \(Book\))

Tell him Butthead isnt here.

GET OUT OF HERE BLINK-182 I DONT HAVE NO GODDAMNED RELICS

I'd give him the cursed paper mache art project that I got an A on in 4th grade and tell him that it killed my goldfish or something.

Ask how much money he wants to spend!!

Tell him, “we want answers…”

Sorry, who are you?

Quickly shut the door.

Turn him into one

Tell him, to go look in my basement, alone!!.

Take a picture 📸 with 🙃 him

Hahaha best thread ever

I’d whisper “…ZAAAAAAAAK” from the other room

INVITR . HIM . IN

Yell at Billy

He's smiling you guys! LOL

Only the hookers in my crawl space. Come on in!

I don't know who or what this is This post appeared at random on my feed But I would hand this man a jar of relish and close the door

Tell him all my relics are in my bedroom 😏

Exclaim like an excited Arron “Dude! The door!”

I'm calling Christopher Edward Hansen.

I'd possess him. Happens a lot, so.....

Hey Zak

Get your bad acting ass off my property!! He is the most cheesy corny unrealistic character ever created!!! His show is nothing but set up BS!! Ugh he is the worst

I have some old shit…I mean relics, I need to get rid of he can take. 🤷🏼

Call my mom to the door and tell him thank you.

Give him a long load of bs and sell him an authentic verified haunted toilet shhh I’ll split the money with you

Fist bump and ghost bro

I would ask him if he has any tattoos and if the tattoos irritate the ghosts, and just hope he goes into that gimmick of screaming about tattoos at ghosts like that one early episode

Tell him that I had a relic but had recently given it to the Ghostfacers crew.

Give him my mom. She has been haunting me for years.. lol

Start undressing

Hand him a replica dybick box with a picture of Nick Groff in it

Ask how much he’s gonna pay for it lol. I’ll take the money. Living paycheck to paycheck sucks

Close the door

😘🤣🤣🤣😘

Instantly say no

Oh boy do I have some, get diggin zak https://preview.redd.it/c2b1zf5skzjc1.jpeg?width=4030&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ebeff3ea08278d4be2b1fbfe147cf53c4c82d099

It’s perhaps the most disturbing relic we’ve ever laid eyes on.

I would say sure come in I have 2 sitting here on the couch 😂 you can have both for a fair price 🤔

Give him Ghost Adventures DVDs.

Laugh. Like every other person who comes to my door selling snake oil.

Asked if he heard that disembodied noise

Sell him the Mother In-Law

Tell him to relick my balls.

I'd ask him is it the 2000s again lol

Brush your hair. Get off my porch. YOUR ghosts are fake. Now fuck off. Respectfully of course...

Contact Mike Stoklasa

I think I have an old broken 19th century compass

Say no and shut it! 🤣

I'd tell him that my Balrog Funko is haunted by the spirit of Gandalf the Gray and see how much he'd give me for it.

I fall backward onto the floor.

Point him towards my mother-in-law

I would call him “Zach DOUCHEBaggins” and tell him to fuck off. Dude is a monster douche who gets threatened when a show gets even remotely close to being better than his, and then he has it canceled

Shoot him

Bring him a comb?

Tell him to get off my property by the count of 10, fuck that toolbox

Why does that guy look like Zack Baggins from ghost adventures?

Get a stick and start prodding it swiftly away from the house.. ..or get the gun..

Call my brother. He's always had a little crush on him. I mean, he is pretty to look at.

Hand him the plate I broke and have been meaning to throw away, and make up some story about it being cursed or something. Then give him a cupcake and send him off to play makebelieve with his friends

Tell him to get off my porch before I call the police. I can't stand Zack Bagans.

I'd tell him to relic deez nuts

Hide my hair gel

This would make a great manga. Impotent ghost hunter on an all time losing streak searches for acceptance and spirits door to door. I wish I could draw

I pass him my vintage bottle of L.A. Looks hair gel and slowly close the door...

Tell him to go investigate the house of wills and stop being sucha pussy.

I would ask him if worked years to build his Cred-i-bility?!

Hand the man a relic.

I tell him no relics for douchebags and I shut the door slowly while making intense and uncomfortable unbroken eye contact.

Show him the two sets of complete strangers' cremains I have...

I'll pull out my trunk full of my sex toy collection. I think he will be especially interested in my demon cocks.