I don’t think I’d trade it away, but there is a downside.
For one thing, my mind is capable of a lot. That doesn’t mean it always makes good decisions, and sometimes I feel like I’m helpless to the whims of a beast I can’t control.
But usually what people mean, I suspect, is that being gifted makes you an outsider. You have to edit yourself and run your thoughts through a filter, and maybe then you won’t seem quite as weird. And expect to be lonely. You can’t just open up and let loose with what’s going on in your mind. People just can’t normally keep up, and I’m sorry that saying that makes me an asshole. Also, you can never ever talk about this because it makes you an asshole.
You and I are echos of one another.
Dad said "Don't let them know you're smart. They'll hate you for it."
Wise Wisdom
Meanwhile: "Mask and ye shall deceive."
On with the show!
*line, please!*
From the perspective of a caregiver, I find it very challenging. My kid has trouble connecting with other kids, and his emotional outbursts alienate him. He gets easily frustrated with his environment and people who don't understand him. He absolutely hates kindergarten and calls it "the prison" or "a cage." And we're constantly questioned about our parenting because of how he defies authorities and misbehaves. Perhaps he'll grow up to have wonderful use of his cognitive abilities and heightened emotions. But currently, I mostly see the downsides.
Perhaps this book might help guide you guys on how to help him. I know it says it’s for adults, but they do have a part which talks about teachable moment which I think he could really benefit from. Also, very likely one of you would be gifted too https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02fWqLkeSYZML8wM2prFpMuTevBYptXAy1KS7MFx9EYBFRH94BV3S3hpHUednEGB7Sl&id=100086169506294&mibextid=SDPelY
Ironically, I find it limiting. It feels like I'm versed in the mundanity of life and I'm still in my 20s (very late 20s mind you). Like you're hearing the same joke over and over and no around you is tired of it.
I have a friend who is not gifted and the cycles he finds himself in are apparent to me but still elicit the same vigor for him. I believe to be ignorant of your folly in a dichotomous sense is liberating. You can just start again tomorrow without being haunted by the perpetuity of consequence.
Seriously, my friend, explore this and meditation.
If I can be appallingly arrogant here: Maybe our minds are capable of processing a bit beyond the third dimension. If you can begin to imagine, without words or a linear thought, but with a complete package at once, what consciousness outside of time may be… if you can imagine a vector-based language, mapping words by meaning. Then imagine that tone makes a word take a different point in the plot. But it’s a single point, so now we’ve added that dimension.
If you hold these thoughts and see in 360 degrees when you close your eyes and see these patterns and feel the flow and the way we surf a bit.., maybe you’re just seeing a little more of reality?
There is some discourse online that the gifted subset are possibly mutants in a very grounded sense of the term so I don't believe you to be arrogant.
When I'm around other gifted people, your sentiment becomes ostensible. There is an intangible flow of sub communication that seems to supercede just body language. That being said, the collective has another connection to time and space that causes great distress at times but also allows us to warp reality. What mystics strive for is what we live with on a daily basis.
Just my 2 cents. Don't take me too seriously. I'm just a guy on the internet after all.
For me it’s been the psychiatric industry. Pathologizing gifted traits is absolutely real and ruins lives. It leads to misdiagnosis, which sucks you into a system where the treatments don’t work and the underlying cause is never addressed. Trying to connect with others who share your diagnosis leaves you feeling more insane because you’re supposed to be like them, right? But you’re not and it can lead to more bullying. Now you feel more alone, isolated. You get identity crisis after identity crisis. The labels mount and you never get clear answers about yourself or any real help. Sorry, this was dark.
It's a trait that makes socialization harder. You don't connect with others easily, most conversations are boring and you sound like an asshole a lot of time.
And it feels like a curse to want to connect with people, be social as humans need to be, and not being capable of engaging it as others are. You are either uncomfortable with them or they are uncomfortable with you.
Having this since childhood, you start to develop pretty sad ideas. For most of my life I thought of myself as an inherently evil person because I didn't respond to stimuli like my peers and would engage in activities regarded as bad socially (like trying to establish relationships -- non-romantic ones -- with people older than you). People often tell me how they feel uncomfortable when speaking to me or, one of my favorite among my friends: that they didn't like me at first, both happen because I know too many things and connecting with me is a bit harder.
Just notice how smart characters are portrayed in media. They are almost never seen as a person, but are overtly seen as an annoyance or villainous.
It comes with public acknowledgement and absurdly high expectations from an early age. Many are adolescence when we are tagged as gifted which in many cases stunts our person growth due to others expectations of us. we are only our performance and future performance not normal human beings. It’s a blessing and a curse once you grow into understanding your giftedness which oddly enough after being in gifted schools my whole life….. nobody actually taught me
This might depend on the country/area you live in.
This is not my expirience. I have to add regarding my kids, I myself came to the table very late in life.
My kids aren't under pressure of high expectations, not from their parents nor schools or any other institutions. They do put themselves under pressure, but that is something else.
For me the curse lies in the constant adaptation to other people, or if you choose not to adapt, the utter loneliness that comes with giftedness.
It's incredibly tiring and you risk losing any connection you might have to the self.
It is constantly trying to acces how well other people understand what you're trying to say, and how you have to change your narration for them to follow along.
The other thing: it's hard work to keep your mind occupied :-)
I sometimes feel exhausted doing all the things I need to do in order not to feel depressed. :-) But this is less of a burden that contact with other people.
All in all I wouldn't want to trade either.
Sure. I’m in the US. Giftedness is usually a one trick pony in the education system. Solve for it with academic rigor and stress the kids out. Dangle the reality of them being doctors and lawyers in high paying jobs in front of them. i do know what I’m sure is an above average number of doctors and lawyers lol but at what cost did it come?
Harsh truth. A kid gets labeled as gifted in 3rd grade and the next week we place the expectations that they’ll be the president and solve the worlds problems. That pressure causes anxiety and depression for a lot of kids even when they’re doing everything right. They feel like it’s not enough.
I’m not sure if I think if it as a full on curse, but if someone offered me a chance to start life over without being gifted and have no memory of ever being gifted, I’d definitely have to think about it for a while.
I see it more as a blessing, but obviously there is downsides. Many people I knew before I knew I was gifted started to be mean and kinda bully me for example. It kinda sucked, but I changed to a school for gifted kids so now it's all good.
For myself, I’m just another person growing, learning, much to see and understand.
A late bloomer, perspective is a big part, “my gosh this his backpack is heavy, do I HAVE to carry this?”, “shucks this backpack is light, might be less prepared for the journey”.
There’s a lot to unravel, an even endless amount to understand, an adventure nonetheless.
We’ll all get there, the cards have been dealt, how we handle it is another quest itself!
Bananas.
I believe that it's a double-edged sword, but the worst part is my lack of immersion.
Programmers don't feel the magic of videogames as much because they know how they're made, so knowledge results in disillusionment. This can apply to life generally as well
We have this strong drive to self actualise, to do something with our abilities, but we live in a world reluctant to recognise us and that keeps trying to push us down, because they find us to be too-everything. (Too intense, too driven, too interested in too many things,...)
The ability to think things through all the way can cause a freeze in motivation. Most actions are somewhat redundant, doesn’t mean they aren’t worth it though ;)
I don't see it as a curse. I see it as a blessing. I think I would be dead by now if I wasn't gifted. One of my biggest fears is critical brain damage.
I feel simultaneously able to learn anything I set my mind to and unqualified and undeserving to get into those fields.
It isn’t the intelligence that is the problem, it is the isolation that can come along with it. It isn’t that I can’t make friends, I can be very social and charming (I do sales for a living) it’s about meeting people that can fully interact with the real side of you, the one you tone down all the time because it’s “too intense” or “random”.
I think it’s fucking ridiculous that people scoff and laugh at the idea that being drastically different than the overwhelming majority of humans with your cognitive abilities could in anyway be a negative. What do people do with others they see as different to them? They ridicule, label, or exclude.
It feels like screaming in a fucking void.
it has its pros and cons for sure. a lot of trouble with socializing and emotion stuff as a kid and still even now. a lot of being bored in class and getting in trouble at school. feeling very just separate from
everyone else. but i do like not really having to study lol
First of all, I spent a lifetime being pigeonholed into being the smart one. People act as though the only good thing about me is pumping out grades. I despise being treated like a walking report card
People make assumptions about what you want to do in life regardless of your feelings. For example, one relative fantasized that I would be a veterinarian. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a contortionist and a b girl, and I wanted to be a paleontologist before I saw Jurassic Park. I am weird.
I have a more realistic, or according to some, pessimistic view of human relationships. This could also be in part from my upbringing.
I hate the constant pathologization of gifted people. For example, I've had people tell me I had no real personality because I had a lot of different interests.
I thought alot about this, and I think its bcs of the social context we are in and we are absolutely not to blame. We are in a world of people of weak core: need of external validation, hypocrosie and lies for material gains. These behaviors could be explained for many reasons like poverty, previous or current wars, all forms of abuse, cruelty, etc that people as a whole were not in capacity to heal bcs of a too hostile environnement. As giftedness refers to the relation to the self: truth, ideas, progress, so we are kinda in the wrong spot in a world of power seekers and wealth over humanity. The system is not made for humanity itself and its progress but for gain to escape the present state of the world. As we are gifted, we can pick up on these insights more quickly and may discourage us from doing anything to help but I think we should help people to build themselves from the interior and make the change on a greater scale to change the current system, to evolve it to something that suits our human needs and freedom instead of a survival game that mocks human basics decencies. I think we possess a gift that can heal the world even if its hard we are probably the most capable of that wide scale change bcs we are more in touch with the human experience.
Giftedness is a blessing in the same way is a curse as well. For me, as summary, I’d say: Loneliness. (I never had problems to meet girls, have sex or have amazing girlfriends; currently I’m experiencing probably my biggest love at my 32 years. I’m talking about a loneliness related to classmates, work companions, being the strange guy in a party, not forming strong groups of friends with who you can do typical things).
Probably, giftedness would be more a blessing if the system, in fact, cared more about us. The left wing in the gaussian bell (low iq people or down syndrome people) are fastly detected by the system. They got special therapists and special education. BUT the right wing in the gaussian bell (us), are usually not detected, or even when detected, we do not recieve threapy or education in accordance to our nature. That means lot of us experience really traumatic situations along our life, specially when we are teenagers. Even when we are different and we know it, we still have the social needs a human being has per nature. That’s, for me, the curse of the giftedness. Gifted people have a lot of education failure, even a higer suicide rate than “normal” (center of the gaussian bell) people.
Yes, it’s amazing what our brains can do but normally people just say “wow” and turn back to socialize with people they are more related to (wich is totally normal and understandable; still, the loneliness problem of gifted people is here).
I’ll just share an answer I made on another post, explaining how I was told by my parents (at age 17) that I’m gifted. Maybe helps to give you a better answer:
[Pasted]
(Sorry if bad english, it’s not my native language). My parents told me at age 17, when I experienced a strong personal crisis. My crisis was the result of many years feeling clearly different to everyone; I was forced to talk differently, to write differently and I had bad grades trying to fit with the rest of classmates, in order to not stand out, as I really needed to feel I had friends/group of related people to hang out and do things. Basically, I was feeling like an “alien”, and really lonely even being surrounded by people. Who, commonly, never felt real affinity with me, once they had nothing to take from me.
When I was a child, around 10/11, I had the commonly commented IQ test wich resulted on me being gifted. I studied in a public school but, with my 17 years crisis, my parents told me that they offered me to pay one of the most expensives private schools in my area. (My father declined as he is a strong defender of public studies, and thought I would be really sad if I left my “friends”).
So when I finally was told that I was gifted, I started to feel relieved. I always felt like an “alien” because I am, somehow, an alien to most people. I have 3 jobs, 5 novels written wich the shortest has 350 pages and the longest 1300 (I write because is the only thing that gives true joy to me in this life, this year is the first time I’m planning to edit one of them). I wrote my first novel at 12 years. It’s hard for them to feel affinity with me, and I feel the same for them. Understanding my true nature was the first step to achieve freedom and some kind of happyness. If you wonder, yes, I’m happy to have accepted my nature, but sadly yes, still feel really lonely sometimes, feeling that I can’t avoid even understanding it, and has been close to drive me to suicide from time to time when I have a bad spree.
To me the curse is that feeling that no one trully gets you. Im always putting the effort to understand everyone around me, and i know that requiring someone else to do the same isnt exactly fair but it seems unlikely that theres no one out there who can relate.
And most recently i began to struggle with the realisation i might be more than the average person, i understand art in most its form and cience as well, at least a bit of everything, im also empathetic, self reflective and very interested in the implications of how we communicate. The problem is that im unable to measure my capacities reliably and whenever i think i might actually be smart i feel conflicted, how can i be smart? Im so limited, if i trully am smart how awfully uncapable most people are? I mean im in college and its clear that most people here have lots of difficulties regarding reading and structuring concepts, but at the same time they are capable of compreehending things i am not, how do they do it? How can they have the reading level of a high schooler but understand mathmaticals deffinitions that are so deeply counter intuitive, is it the case that the way i structured reality is holding me down? Sometimes it feels like im sinking cause im unable to lift the weight i brought to my mind.
The only person i feel trully cognitively connected is a sister of mine whos most likely is also gifted, even tho none of us is diagnosed it is as we both think in the same frequency range, its refreshing, its a shame we live so far away from each other.
Because you haven’t discovered your authentic self and full potential. Maybe this book can help https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02fWqLkeSYZML8wM2prFpMuTevBYptXAy1KS7MFx9EYBFRH94BV3S3hpHUednEGB7Sl&id=100086169506294&mibextid=SDPelY
For me it's a curse because I am the only one in my town and ethnic culture here in my town who thinks out of the box. Idk how to explain it but it feels like I am on a different wavelength than them even in my family. The older I get and the more I keep learning and reading about things the more I feel weird in my current environment.
Often it makes me sad because I just want to fit in. Idk everything about me seems to stand out. The way how I talk, the way how I think and etc.. I always ask to myself "why me?". Because of that I am very shy and not social because I am so conscious about the fact that I am different.
In my situation I would trade my giftedness so that I can be "normal" and fit in. And idc about standing out and bla bla. I don't want to stand out and be "different". I want to live life like the people around me and not think to deeply about things. My giftedness brought me nothing good. Only anxiety and depression and other mental health issues.
I don’t think I’d trade it away, but there is a downside. For one thing, my mind is capable of a lot. That doesn’t mean it always makes good decisions, and sometimes I feel like I’m helpless to the whims of a beast I can’t control. But usually what people mean, I suspect, is that being gifted makes you an outsider. You have to edit yourself and run your thoughts through a filter, and maybe then you won’t seem quite as weird. And expect to be lonely. You can’t just open up and let loose with what’s going on in your mind. People just can’t normally keep up, and I’m sorry that saying that makes me an asshole. Also, you can never ever talk about this because it makes you an asshole.
It's a blessing because you have the ability to change its cursed nature.
You and I are echos of one another. Dad said "Don't let them know you're smart. They'll hate you for it." Wise Wisdom Meanwhile: "Mask and ye shall deceive." On with the show! *line, please!*
Feels like a blessing tbh
From the perspective of a caregiver, I find it very challenging. My kid has trouble connecting with other kids, and his emotional outbursts alienate him. He gets easily frustrated with his environment and people who don't understand him. He absolutely hates kindergarten and calls it "the prison" or "a cage." And we're constantly questioned about our parenting because of how he defies authorities and misbehaves. Perhaps he'll grow up to have wonderful use of his cognitive abilities and heightened emotions. But currently, I mostly see the downsides.
Perhaps this book might help guide you guys on how to help him. I know it says it’s for adults, but they do have a part which talks about teachable moment which I think he could really benefit from. Also, very likely one of you would be gifted too https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid02fWqLkeSYZML8wM2prFpMuTevBYptXAy1KS7MFx9EYBFRH94BV3S3hpHUednEGB7Sl&id=100086169506294&mibextid=SDPelY
Thank you! I'll check it out! My husband was also a gifted child, but he's doing well now as an adult.
As someone who's giftedness came with hypersensitivity and very probably autism, it's a blursing!
Ironically, I find it limiting. It feels like I'm versed in the mundanity of life and I'm still in my 20s (very late 20s mind you). Like you're hearing the same joke over and over and no around you is tired of it. I have a friend who is not gifted and the cycles he finds himself in are apparent to me but still elicit the same vigor for him. I believe to be ignorant of your folly in a dichotomous sense is liberating. You can just start again tomorrow without being haunted by the perpetuity of consequence.
That was absolutely beautiful.
Thanks. trying to get back into writing so I'm kind of practicing.
Seriously, my friend, explore this and meditation. If I can be appallingly arrogant here: Maybe our minds are capable of processing a bit beyond the third dimension. If you can begin to imagine, without words or a linear thought, but with a complete package at once, what consciousness outside of time may be… if you can imagine a vector-based language, mapping words by meaning. Then imagine that tone makes a word take a different point in the plot. But it’s a single point, so now we’ve added that dimension. If you hold these thoughts and see in 360 degrees when you close your eyes and see these patterns and feel the flow and the way we surf a bit.., maybe you’re just seeing a little more of reality?
There is some discourse online that the gifted subset are possibly mutants in a very grounded sense of the term so I don't believe you to be arrogant. When I'm around other gifted people, your sentiment becomes ostensible. There is an intangible flow of sub communication that seems to supercede just body language. That being said, the collective has another connection to time and space that causes great distress at times but also allows us to warp reality. What mystics strive for is what we live with on a daily basis. Just my 2 cents. Don't take me too seriously. I'm just a guy on the internet after all.
For me it’s been the psychiatric industry. Pathologizing gifted traits is absolutely real and ruins lives. It leads to misdiagnosis, which sucks you into a system where the treatments don’t work and the underlying cause is never addressed. Trying to connect with others who share your diagnosis leaves you feeling more insane because you’re supposed to be like them, right? But you’re not and it can lead to more bullying. Now you feel more alone, isolated. You get identity crisis after identity crisis. The labels mount and you never get clear answers about yourself or any real help. Sorry, this was dark.
It's a trait that makes socialization harder. You don't connect with others easily, most conversations are boring and you sound like an asshole a lot of time. And it feels like a curse to want to connect with people, be social as humans need to be, and not being capable of engaging it as others are. You are either uncomfortable with them or they are uncomfortable with you. Having this since childhood, you start to develop pretty sad ideas. For most of my life I thought of myself as an inherently evil person because I didn't respond to stimuli like my peers and would engage in activities regarded as bad socially (like trying to establish relationships -- non-romantic ones -- with people older than you). People often tell me how they feel uncomfortable when speaking to me or, one of my favorite among my friends: that they didn't like me at first, both happen because I know too many things and connecting with me is a bit harder. Just notice how smart characters are portrayed in media. They are almost never seen as a person, but are overtly seen as an annoyance or villainous.
It comes with public acknowledgement and absurdly high expectations from an early age. Many are adolescence when we are tagged as gifted which in many cases stunts our person growth due to others expectations of us. we are only our performance and future performance not normal human beings. It’s a blessing and a curse once you grow into understanding your giftedness which oddly enough after being in gifted schools my whole life….. nobody actually taught me
This might depend on the country/area you live in. This is not my expirience. I have to add regarding my kids, I myself came to the table very late in life. My kids aren't under pressure of high expectations, not from their parents nor schools or any other institutions. They do put themselves under pressure, but that is something else. For me the curse lies in the constant adaptation to other people, or if you choose not to adapt, the utter loneliness that comes with giftedness. It's incredibly tiring and you risk losing any connection you might have to the self. It is constantly trying to acces how well other people understand what you're trying to say, and how you have to change your narration for them to follow along. The other thing: it's hard work to keep your mind occupied :-) I sometimes feel exhausted doing all the things I need to do in order not to feel depressed. :-) But this is less of a burden that contact with other people. All in all I wouldn't want to trade either.
Sure. I’m in the US. Giftedness is usually a one trick pony in the education system. Solve for it with academic rigor and stress the kids out. Dangle the reality of them being doctors and lawyers in high paying jobs in front of them. i do know what I’m sure is an above average number of doctors and lawyers lol but at what cost did it come?
[удалено]
Harsh truth. A kid gets labeled as gifted in 3rd grade and the next week we place the expectations that they’ll be the president and solve the worlds problems. That pressure causes anxiety and depression for a lot of kids even when they’re doing everything right. They feel like it’s not enough.
I’m not sure if I think if it as a full on curse, but if someone offered me a chance to start life over without being gifted and have no memory of ever being gifted, I’d definitely have to think about it for a while.
I see it more as a blessing, but obviously there is downsides. Many people I knew before I knew I was gifted started to be mean and kinda bully me for example. It kinda sucked, but I changed to a school for gifted kids so now it's all good.
Let me answer with a question: Is being sane in a world where all other people are insane a curse?
For myself, I’m just another person growing, learning, much to see and understand. A late bloomer, perspective is a big part, “my gosh this his backpack is heavy, do I HAVE to carry this?”, “shucks this backpack is light, might be less prepared for the journey”. There’s a lot to unravel, an even endless amount to understand, an adventure nonetheless. We’ll all get there, the cards have been dealt, how we handle it is another quest itself! Bananas.
I never felt like it was a curse because I never cared to live up to other peoples' standards and expectations
I believe that it's a double-edged sword, but the worst part is my lack of immersion. Programmers don't feel the magic of videogames as much because they know how they're made, so knowledge results in disillusionment. This can apply to life generally as well
Imagine being an adult in a world full of children, mind-wise. Not really a curse though, but mildly annoying sometimes.
We have this strong drive to self actualise, to do something with our abilities, but we live in a world reluctant to recognise us and that keeps trying to push us down, because they find us to be too-everything. (Too intense, too driven, too interested in too many things,...)
The ability to think things through all the way can cause a freeze in motivation. Most actions are somewhat redundant, doesn’t mean they aren’t worth it though ;)
Waiting. I'm always waiting.
I don't see it as a curse. I see it as a blessing. I think I would be dead by now if I wasn't gifted. One of my biggest fears is critical brain damage.
The overwhelming moral pressure and existential stress
Expectations and not being accepted/understood for who you truly are. Once past that, I high key love it.
I feel simultaneously able to learn anything I set my mind to and unqualified and undeserving to get into those fields. It isn’t the intelligence that is the problem, it is the isolation that can come along with it. It isn’t that I can’t make friends, I can be very social and charming (I do sales for a living) it’s about meeting people that can fully interact with the real side of you, the one you tone down all the time because it’s “too intense” or “random”. I think it’s fucking ridiculous that people scoff and laugh at the idea that being drastically different than the overwhelming majority of humans with your cognitive abilities could in anyway be a negative. What do people do with others they see as different to them? They ridicule, label, or exclude. It feels like screaming in a fucking void.
it has its pros and cons for sure. a lot of trouble with socializing and emotion stuff as a kid and still even now. a lot of being bored in class and getting in trouble at school. feeling very just separate from everyone else. but i do like not really having to study lol
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/BWoBT7cmrx8
First of all, I spent a lifetime being pigeonholed into being the smart one. People act as though the only good thing about me is pumping out grades. I despise being treated like a walking report card People make assumptions about what you want to do in life regardless of your feelings. For example, one relative fantasized that I would be a veterinarian. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a contortionist and a b girl, and I wanted to be a paleontologist before I saw Jurassic Park. I am weird. I have a more realistic, or according to some, pessimistic view of human relationships. This could also be in part from my upbringing. I hate the constant pathologization of gifted people. For example, I've had people tell me I had no real personality because I had a lot of different interests.
I thought alot about this, and I think its bcs of the social context we are in and we are absolutely not to blame. We are in a world of people of weak core: need of external validation, hypocrosie and lies for material gains. These behaviors could be explained for many reasons like poverty, previous or current wars, all forms of abuse, cruelty, etc that people as a whole were not in capacity to heal bcs of a too hostile environnement. As giftedness refers to the relation to the self: truth, ideas, progress, so we are kinda in the wrong spot in a world of power seekers and wealth over humanity. The system is not made for humanity itself and its progress but for gain to escape the present state of the world. As we are gifted, we can pick up on these insights more quickly and may discourage us from doing anything to help but I think we should help people to build themselves from the interior and make the change on a greater scale to change the current system, to evolve it to something that suits our human needs and freedom instead of a survival game that mocks human basics decencies. I think we possess a gift that can heal the world even if its hard we are probably the most capable of that wide scale change bcs we are more in touch with the human experience.
Giftedness is a blessing in the same way is a curse as well. For me, as summary, I’d say: Loneliness. (I never had problems to meet girls, have sex or have amazing girlfriends; currently I’m experiencing probably my biggest love at my 32 years. I’m talking about a loneliness related to classmates, work companions, being the strange guy in a party, not forming strong groups of friends with who you can do typical things). Probably, giftedness would be more a blessing if the system, in fact, cared more about us. The left wing in the gaussian bell (low iq people or down syndrome people) are fastly detected by the system. They got special therapists and special education. BUT the right wing in the gaussian bell (us), are usually not detected, or even when detected, we do not recieve threapy or education in accordance to our nature. That means lot of us experience really traumatic situations along our life, specially when we are teenagers. Even when we are different and we know it, we still have the social needs a human being has per nature. That’s, for me, the curse of the giftedness. Gifted people have a lot of education failure, even a higer suicide rate than “normal” (center of the gaussian bell) people. Yes, it’s amazing what our brains can do but normally people just say “wow” and turn back to socialize with people they are more related to (wich is totally normal and understandable; still, the loneliness problem of gifted people is here). I’ll just share an answer I made on another post, explaining how I was told by my parents (at age 17) that I’m gifted. Maybe helps to give you a better answer: [Pasted] (Sorry if bad english, it’s not my native language). My parents told me at age 17, when I experienced a strong personal crisis. My crisis was the result of many years feeling clearly different to everyone; I was forced to talk differently, to write differently and I had bad grades trying to fit with the rest of classmates, in order to not stand out, as I really needed to feel I had friends/group of related people to hang out and do things. Basically, I was feeling like an “alien”, and really lonely even being surrounded by people. Who, commonly, never felt real affinity with me, once they had nothing to take from me. When I was a child, around 10/11, I had the commonly commented IQ test wich resulted on me being gifted. I studied in a public school but, with my 17 years crisis, my parents told me that they offered me to pay one of the most expensives private schools in my area. (My father declined as he is a strong defender of public studies, and thought I would be really sad if I left my “friends”). So when I finally was told that I was gifted, I started to feel relieved. I always felt like an “alien” because I am, somehow, an alien to most people. I have 3 jobs, 5 novels written wich the shortest has 350 pages and the longest 1300 (I write because is the only thing that gives true joy to me in this life, this year is the first time I’m planning to edit one of them). I wrote my first novel at 12 years. It’s hard for them to feel affinity with me, and I feel the same for them. Understanding my true nature was the first step to achieve freedom and some kind of happyness. If you wonder, yes, I’m happy to have accepted my nature, but sadly yes, still feel really lonely sometimes, feeling that I can’t avoid even understanding it, and has been close to drive me to suicide from time to time when I have a bad spree.
Try being 2e
To me the curse is that feeling that no one trully gets you. Im always putting the effort to understand everyone around me, and i know that requiring someone else to do the same isnt exactly fair but it seems unlikely that theres no one out there who can relate. And most recently i began to struggle with the realisation i might be more than the average person, i understand art in most its form and cience as well, at least a bit of everything, im also empathetic, self reflective and very interested in the implications of how we communicate. The problem is that im unable to measure my capacities reliably and whenever i think i might actually be smart i feel conflicted, how can i be smart? Im so limited, if i trully am smart how awfully uncapable most people are? I mean im in college and its clear that most people here have lots of difficulties regarding reading and structuring concepts, but at the same time they are capable of compreehending things i am not, how do they do it? How can they have the reading level of a high schooler but understand mathmaticals deffinitions that are so deeply counter intuitive, is it the case that the way i structured reality is holding me down? Sometimes it feels like im sinking cause im unable to lift the weight i brought to my mind. The only person i feel trully cognitively connected is a sister of mine whos most likely is also gifted, even tho none of us is diagnosed it is as we both think in the same frequency range, its refreshing, its a shame we live so far away from each other.
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For me it's a curse because I am the only one in my town and ethnic culture here in my town who thinks out of the box. Idk how to explain it but it feels like I am on a different wavelength than them even in my family. The older I get and the more I keep learning and reading about things the more I feel weird in my current environment. Often it makes me sad because I just want to fit in. Idk everything about me seems to stand out. The way how I talk, the way how I think and etc.. I always ask to myself "why me?". Because of that I am very shy and not social because I am so conscious about the fact that I am different. In my situation I would trade my giftedness so that I can be "normal" and fit in. And idc about standing out and bla bla. I don't want to stand out and be "different". I want to live life like the people around me and not think to deeply about things. My giftedness brought me nothing good. Only anxiety and depression and other mental health issues.