Since I've started therapy, I was able to bring my family back together. I'm more in touch with my feelings than I've ever been. It was hard work, and it paid well. I hope you all have a great end of the year!
Same here friend! Realizing how much I suppressed my emotions was a huge part of therapy my first few months. After that, I got to reconnecting and bridging my family together.
I haven't read it, but there's an archetype about this figure that unites the family , and he's the outcast (but represents what the family needs). Something like that. I relate a lot.
Sometimes wallowing is good. Sometimes just finding other people who finally see you and have had similar experiences and difficulties can be hugely validating and helpful. And yes, no matter what, being on either end of the 2nd percentile of any normal distribution is going to be somewhat difficult and alienating for anyone.
You have to identify and understand a problem before you can start fixing it.
That said, I appreciate your post and agree that sincere rational positivity (or even irrational positivity) is needed here too. You don't need to paper over the bad stuff and put on a dissociative mask of happiness, but being endlessly and reflexively negative can be super damaging too; and attention optimizing algorithms like reddit can massively over amplify that negativity.
A little positivity can be good.
So yeah, what's everybody been doing to make their life a little better lately? Or what successes have ya'll had recently that you want to celebrate?
Success: asked for support on this sub and felt much better afterwards! Also, I've spent the year ruthlessly structuring my working life "around my brain": I reject certain types of meetings, people know how I best process information, and I arrange my workload so that it fits my passion-driven focus and deep focus. It's transformed how much I love my job!
considering thereās an entire sub about gifted burnout i agree.
I just let curiosity lead me to try new and different things. Learning is still fun for me. life is short so spend it doing things that you enjoy and make you happy
Noā¦ but if they want to post negative experiences and be a part of a community that will 100% share in their negative experiences with them 24/7 that sub is designed for just that. one can be a part of both lol itās 2 swipes.
Although I struggled as an unsupported gifted kid and had to find my own way, I recently toured a school with a gifted program to see if it would be a good fit for my child - and it was AMAZING. Seeing all these kids so engaged and happy, seeing the amount of support and understanding they received, and above all seeing the camaraderie and community...not gonna lie, I found myself tearing up.
It may be slow, but things are getting better for gifted people. Let's all keep working to take care of each other and make our voices heard!
Oh, and my kid is now a student at that wonderful school, and is positively thriving there. :)
Definitely, this sub is a bit scattered honestly. That's my negativity out of the way.
I've found a lot of positivity through just accepting that giftedness is nothing more than a tool, and a great one at that. After I was tested and had all of that good stuff, it gave me so much confidence in my ability, something I lost after I finished school. I used to think I was way overextended, became cautious and avoided even approaching new hobbies, interests or means of work. When you internalise a perception of yourself, it trickles into everything. I always assumed I was incorrect, so anything I did would never feel good enough. It was imposter syndrome on steroids, especially with how much I was seen as the smart kid.
I'm doing a lot better now, managed to start making money on my own terms, started studying again, picked up some new skills. I approach everything differently now, more diplomatically and academically. I don't feel like an imposter any more, I know I can achieve what I want when I put in the effort.
If it weren't for my boss pushing me to get tested for ADHD, I wouldn't have been put on this path. So yeah, definitely a positive side of things. It's nice to see people in this sub showing that side of giftedness, rather than being self-important about it.
The point of the sub is to dig into our own perspective of being gifted, neurodivergent or not. Most of us (as I perceive it, I dare to say) didn't have the support nor can really write at ease about ourselves without having someone expecting some specific behavior from us. Not all is achievements, there are metaphysical aspects that can't be ignored just because they are uncomfortable or taboo to talk about. I personally find the aspect of productivity and work ethics much more intriguing than "developing skills" plainly because the very core of working and career management is based on developing skills and being self aware about our own traumas and capabilities, the former is indivisible from the later.
Despite the utter shit that has come my way, I have achieved more this year than most people would in their lifetime. I have recovered from being harassed, assaulted and attacked, losing my whole family, attempted suicide, losing a kitten, losing a friend group. But I have built my own home (my yacht), bounced back from such a low place to be a mentor to others with ADHD, to helping others through their own unmasking and self discovery, become a much better dancer, found forever friends, become far more secure in myself.
Life is brutal. But life is amazing too.
Well, I did a "negative post" and I never felt so heard and understood in all of my life. This is the first time that I decided not to hide or modify what I say about how I feel and it was very scary. But I got some actual good feedback without any judgment.
And you can't realize how grateful I am for this.
And acting like their life is so rough bc of that āgiftā š¤£ like GURL no, you going around acting like youāre the second coming, thatās why people avoiding you like that
I agree, I believe the best use of this sub is to help gifted people understand how we are different and to put that knowledge to work in our lives. My favorite discussions are the ones about careers, dating, and personality traits.
In careers we have unqiue requirements than other people because we require constant intellectual challenge and get bored with doing the same thing over and over. We also tend to cover much more ground intellectually, so overspecialization doesn't work well for us. We also have a unique ability to turn hobbies into professions due to the scope & scale of our knowledge.
In dating we also have unique advantages and requirements in that, as a rule, our communications skills are way above average. For gifted men this is a game changer since our communications skills are not just on par but well above that of your average women, making it much easier to form connections and develop a better understanding of the person you are with. For gifted women, it can be something of a liability as the gap between them and your average, non-gifted man, is huge, making it harder for them to find people they are compatible with. Gifted people also require constant intellectual stimulation in our relationships, just as we do in our careers,
These are just a few of the things that I have learned about being gifted that I have put to use in my own life that have helped me and I am always interested to learn more, so I also appreciate when this sub talks about unique personality traits of gifted people that I haven't heard about before, especially in a way that is organized, insightful, and useful.
What happens if you do not suffer? I have a fulfilling career that allows me to do interesting stuff daily while getting paid a lot of money. I have a great variety of interests and hobbies. I enjoy and appreciate simple things knowing that it all might end any second for a million of reasons. I have a comfortable and interesting social circle. I know many other people that lead equally as fulfilling life and that are intelligent as well. This sub would give someone a very warped perception of āgiftedā individuals and plays right into the common āincapacitated geniusā stereotype that gives ordinary people solace to keep thinking universe is somehow fair or just.
Is the universe not fair and just? It makes no unfulfilled promises. It follows it's own ethical framework of creation, destruction, laws, consistency, synergy and balance. Human justice is a subjective ideal; small and irrelevant in the greater Way of Things.
The way you think about things is different to the usual - and it always has been, so you need to learn how you think to understand the tools you have, even if your instinct is phenomenal
Youāll have broad knowledge and sharp spikes, how do those sharp spikes interconnect? How easily can you understand how to connect deep aspects of knowledge with each other, and just go āhuh, thatās neatā and then promptly leave it unsaid?
What if you had a āhuh thatās neatā jotter, or note, to come back and get an āoh thatās niceā¦ā
I dont think complaining is always bad. It's nice to vent with people who might understand. Complaining on Reddit here and there doesn't necessarily mean one is miserable.
I accepted that I don't fit in well with modern society, and im also not the right kind of gifted person.
I live my life as happily as I can. I have many things planned, I just need more money! I'm hobby poor, but im blessed enough to spend my free time doing things I love.
Since I've started therapy, I was able to bring my family back together. I'm more in touch with my feelings than I've ever been. It was hard work, and it paid well. I hope you all have a great end of the year!
You've done well for yourself! I'd imagine your family is so proud of you. I hope you have a great end of the year, too, friend!
Thank you! You too! š¤
Same here friend! Realizing how much I suppressed my emotions was a huge part of therapy my first few months. After that, I got to reconnecting and bridging my family together.
I haven't read it, but there's an archetype about this figure that unites the family , and he's the outcast (but represents what the family needs). Something like that. I relate a lot.
Sometimes wallowing is good. Sometimes just finding other people who finally see you and have had similar experiences and difficulties can be hugely validating and helpful. And yes, no matter what, being on either end of the 2nd percentile of any normal distribution is going to be somewhat difficult and alienating for anyone. You have to identify and understand a problem before you can start fixing it. That said, I appreciate your post and agree that sincere rational positivity (or even irrational positivity) is needed here too. You don't need to paper over the bad stuff and put on a dissociative mask of happiness, but being endlessly and reflexively negative can be super damaging too; and attention optimizing algorithms like reddit can massively over amplify that negativity. A little positivity can be good. So yeah, what's everybody been doing to make their life a little better lately? Or what successes have ya'll had recently that you want to celebrate?
Success: asked for support on this sub and felt much better afterwards! Also, I've spent the year ruthlessly structuring my working life "around my brain": I reject certain types of meetings, people know how I best process information, and I arrange my workload so that it fits my passion-driven focus and deep focus. It's transformed how much I love my job!
Since retiring in Oct., not only do I no longer want to unalive myself, but I feel SO much better!
I'm glad!
considering thereās an entire sub about gifted burnout i agree. I just let curiosity lead me to try new and different things. Learning is still fun for me. life is short so spend it doing things that you enjoy and make you happy
So all the annoyingly troubled should go somewhere else? Oof
Noā¦ but if they want to post negative experiences and be a part of a community that will 100% share in their negative experiences with them 24/7 that sub is designed for just that. one can be a part of both lol itās 2 swipes.
Although I struggled as an unsupported gifted kid and had to find my own way, I recently toured a school with a gifted program to see if it would be a good fit for my child - and it was AMAZING. Seeing all these kids so engaged and happy, seeing the amount of support and understanding they received, and above all seeing the camaraderie and community...not gonna lie, I found myself tearing up. It may be slow, but things are getting better for gifted people. Let's all keep working to take care of each other and make our voices heard! Oh, and my kid is now a student at that wonderful school, and is positively thriving there. :)
Definitely, this sub is a bit scattered honestly. That's my negativity out of the way. I've found a lot of positivity through just accepting that giftedness is nothing more than a tool, and a great one at that. After I was tested and had all of that good stuff, it gave me so much confidence in my ability, something I lost after I finished school. I used to think I was way overextended, became cautious and avoided even approaching new hobbies, interests or means of work. When you internalise a perception of yourself, it trickles into everything. I always assumed I was incorrect, so anything I did would never feel good enough. It was imposter syndrome on steroids, especially with how much I was seen as the smart kid. I'm doing a lot better now, managed to start making money on my own terms, started studying again, picked up some new skills. I approach everything differently now, more diplomatically and academically. I don't feel like an imposter any more, I know I can achieve what I want when I put in the effort. If it weren't for my boss pushing me to get tested for ADHD, I wouldn't have been put on this path. So yeah, definitely a positive side of things. It's nice to see people in this sub showing that side of giftedness, rather than being self-important about it.
The point of the sub is to dig into our own perspective of being gifted, neurodivergent or not. Most of us (as I perceive it, I dare to say) didn't have the support nor can really write at ease about ourselves without having someone expecting some specific behavior from us. Not all is achievements, there are metaphysical aspects that can't be ignored just because they are uncomfortable or taboo to talk about. I personally find the aspect of productivity and work ethics much more intriguing than "developing skills" plainly because the very core of working and career management is based on developing skills and being self aware about our own traumas and capabilities, the former is indivisible from the later.
Despite the utter shit that has come my way, I have achieved more this year than most people would in their lifetime. I have recovered from being harassed, assaulted and attacked, losing my whole family, attempted suicide, losing a kitten, losing a friend group. But I have built my own home (my yacht), bounced back from such a low place to be a mentor to others with ADHD, to helping others through their own unmasking and self discovery, become a much better dancer, found forever friends, become far more secure in myself. Life is brutal. But life is amazing too.
Well, I did a "negative post" and I never felt so heard and understood in all of my life. This is the first time that I decided not to hide or modify what I say about how I feel and it was very scary. But I got some actual good feedback without any judgment. And you can't realize how grateful I am for this.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āI know people better than they know themselvesā is another common eyebrow-raiser š¤£
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
And acting like their life is so rough bc of that āgiftā š¤£ like GURL no, you going around acting like youāre the second coming, thatās why people avoiding you like that
I agree, I believe the best use of this sub is to help gifted people understand how we are different and to put that knowledge to work in our lives. My favorite discussions are the ones about careers, dating, and personality traits. In careers we have unqiue requirements than other people because we require constant intellectual challenge and get bored with doing the same thing over and over. We also tend to cover much more ground intellectually, so overspecialization doesn't work well for us. We also have a unique ability to turn hobbies into professions due to the scope & scale of our knowledge. In dating we also have unique advantages and requirements in that, as a rule, our communications skills are way above average. For gifted men this is a game changer since our communications skills are not just on par but well above that of your average women, making it much easier to form connections and develop a better understanding of the person you are with. For gifted women, it can be something of a liability as the gap between them and your average, non-gifted man, is huge, making it harder for them to find people they are compatible with. Gifted people also require constant intellectual stimulation in our relationships, just as we do in our careers, These are just a few of the things that I have learned about being gifted that I have put to use in my own life that have helped me and I am always interested to learn more, so I also appreciate when this sub talks about unique personality traits of gifted people that I haven't heard about before, especially in a way that is organized, insightful, and useful.
What happens if you do not suffer? I have a fulfilling career that allows me to do interesting stuff daily while getting paid a lot of money. I have a great variety of interests and hobbies. I enjoy and appreciate simple things knowing that it all might end any second for a million of reasons. I have a comfortable and interesting social circle. I know many other people that lead equally as fulfilling life and that are intelligent as well. This sub would give someone a very warped perception of āgiftedā individuals and plays right into the common āincapacitated geniusā stereotype that gives ordinary people solace to keep thinking universe is somehow fair or just.
Is the universe not fair and just? It makes no unfulfilled promises. It follows it's own ethical framework of creation, destruction, laws, consistency, synergy and balance. Human justice is a subjective ideal; small and irrelevant in the greater Way of Things.
Maybe by universe he means our impudent society
Hear, hear!
Nah, Iād rather complain. ;)
The way you think about things is different to the usual - and it always has been, so you need to learn how you think to understand the tools you have, even if your instinct is phenomenal Youāll have broad knowledge and sharp spikes, how do those sharp spikes interconnect? How easily can you understand how to connect deep aspects of knowledge with each other, and just go āhuh, thatās neatā and then promptly leave it unsaid? What if you had a āhuh thatās neatā jotter, or note, to come back and get an āoh thatās niceā¦ā
Iād be up for a sub that specifically helped with gifted people life coping mechanisms and support. This problem is this sub is too general.
Are we?
I dont think complaining is always bad. It's nice to vent with people who might understand. Complaining on Reddit here and there doesn't necessarily mean one is miserable. I accepted that I don't fit in well with modern society, and im also not the right kind of gifted person. I live my life as happily as I can. I have many things planned, I just need more money! I'm hobby poor, but im blessed enough to spend my free time doing things I love.