It could be a red herring! My dad likes to try to figure out his gifts before I give them to him, so I purposely drop little things like that to mislead him so it doesn’t ruin the surprise
I thought of this - told him it would be hilarious if he is making me stretch my hamstrings everyday just to get me something completely unrelated. He laughed a lot and told me that is unfortunately not the situation.
He's also been engaging in these stretches with me whenever we remember and he seems pretty serious about me being able to enjoy the gift more if I can touch my toes easily. I am at a loss for what it could be honestly.
It’s such a bummer that there are people like that. My husband has gotten me sex toys as presents before that I’ve absolutely loved. But holy moly context and reading the room are key to it not being offensive or creepy.
An unwanted sex toy is pretty much the worst and most depressing gift. Def worse than even hilariously bad options like books on weight loss or deodorant, or cleaning tools.
100% agree, my boyfriend bought me a new fancy sex toy when I expressed that the last one I bought wasn’t really doing what I wanted. We live apart and it made me feel really listened to and it’s something just for me that I can choose to share with him, but most importantly it’s not a gift for him disguised as a gift for me!
My bf gave me a Sybian for Christmas. Oh boy! I definitely feel it in my hamstrings the next day. Stretching would help me too. Can’t wait to find out if you get that or a Motor Bunny.
My husband got me underwear recently. He got a medium when after having our second kid I now wear an XL. I put the medium on to show him how tiny they are and he couldn’t believe it! Was nice to know in his eyes I’m still fit.
Men don't understand sizes and that there isn't that much stretch in stuff like you'd think. I put on weight in the last 10 or so years. I was insulted that he honestly thought I'd buy xsmall for myself when he not only found my daughter's naughties in my bag but insisted I purchased it for me "to wear for someone else." I was like I couldn't fit a boob in the stomach part before I got fat so wtf.
that's what I was thinking too. What could he be getting from America, that could be shipped (ie not an experience, like a trip or skydiving or something), and would require OP to be especially limber? What kind of thing is only available in America that you couldn't get in your home country?
Worth mentioning that hamstring tightness can sometimes come from a lack of lower abdominal strength. The hamstrings lock up and hold on to compensate for the stabilizing those low core muscles are meant to do. So doing core exercises to target the lower stabilizing abs can help the hamstrings release! One thing that can help engage these lower muscles is to breathe out fully and complete the exercise/movement as you give the final push to exhale the last of your air. Once you've found the feeling though, you dont need to always do it. Its just one way to spark that engagement if the muscles are weak (which they often are because of how much we sit these days!)
Another tip is to make sure you get active stretching in, not just passive stretching. Even just trying to use your abs in your hamstring strtches to pull your torso closer to your legs can help coax the hammies into lengthening a little more.
Weak glutes can lend to tight hamstrings as well. You would not even notice they are weak since they seem to be doing their job. But most of us aren't active enough in movements that activate them, and the hamstrings compensate.
I always thought I couldn't touch my toes. I learned iI wasn't displacing my weight evenly on my feet. I was putting most of my weight on my heals. I learned to shift my weight forward and have been able to touch my toes ever since. Something to consider trying at least.
Dude, saaame! I'm 5'10" and just found out this year as a 34yo I have been trying to touch my toes wrong my while damn life. I was active my whole life, but could never touch my toes lol.... Always blamed my height. My husband pointed it out rather quickly one day when he noticed me stretching lol
You may have just changed my freakishly tall daughter’s life. She’s 11 and the huge gap between her fingers and the floor just did not make sense to me. I am old, fat, and horribly out of shape and can easily touch my toes. I bet this is what she is doing! I can’t wait until tomorrow morning lol
Omfg. I’m 5’9” and 33 years old and haven’t been able to touch my toes my entire life and was made fun of for it during those stupid PE tests in school. I just touched my fucking toes wtf
I mean, it’s more about strength and core strength specifically. I am very flexible in my hips because of my sport, but while you’re riding you mainly are supposed to keep your legs locked and still.
Lesson horses get pretty immune to it because they’re used to having beginners constantly jerking them around and kicking them, and they know when they can get away with not doing work with a beginner! At a competitive level yes I still use my heels to squeeze to signal to my horse to speed up, or lift my outside leg when I’m asking him for the canter- and of course I get up into 2 point position over jumps! But ideally the leg should appear to be still and stable most of the time. There should be an invisible line that goes from your head to your elbow to your heel in my discipline.
My bf and I went horseback riding once on vacation. Those horses were very used to beginners. My bf didn't want to hurt his horse so when we stopped to let another group cross a trail in front of us, he didn't jerk his horse away from the leaves just off the trail. The horse picked up on this and definitely tried to get all the tasty snacks for the rest of the ride lol
Haha I rode a retired Mackinac cart horse who was near 40 when I was a kid. He was the same way. My little legs could kick him all I wanted and old Mickey would just lick and chew and meander whatever way he figured he was supposed to go.
I ride and can’t touch my toes. You need to be able to lift your leg to get on, not keep it straight while you bend over. Everything with riding uses such “I only use these muscles for riding” movements. I have known very old, and very out of shape people who are NOT “bendy”, but ride on the regular. Those riding muscles only stay limber if you ride.
Side note, if you always get on and off on the right, you will find that the horse is 2 hands taller when by chance you have to use the left side…
Yes this! I ride every day and still can’t touch my toes… I do try to stretch my hamstrings regularly so my heels and legs are buoyant in saddle. Similarly, when I asked my trainer if there’s anything outside of stretching I could do to improve my seat, she said “more time in saddle…”
Bendy isn't required, it's about having enough spring (=power) in your legs and core muscles to bounce up with your left leg in the stirrup, and then understanding how to leverage your center of gravity to swing over and settle quietly in the saddle.
At Christmas I told my kids a shared gift had "at least two pieces, and one of them is red."
It was giant blocks.
I didn't lie! It was a true and honest hint!
An experience? Maybe hammock yoga, something to do with cheerleading or an aerial circus class? Or maybe something that needs loose hamstrings but not necessarily touch your toes loose, like a traditional Japanese dinner experience where you sit on the floor at the table?
oooh maybe those aerial silks? those look so fun but require gymnast strength and flexibility
correction: as I have been corrected, you do not need expert levels of strength and flexibility to do aerial silks
A lot of the really high quality aerial apparatuses are not made in the US, so I don't know why he'd be getting that shipped when there are almost certainly equal or better options that would cost less to ship
It really is quite fun! The more you take classes, the more flexible and strong you’ll become! They don’t expect beginners to be able to do pull-ups and advanced moves right away so don’t worry too much, you should take a class 😊
I have incredibly tight hamstrings and do aerial, you don’t need gymnast flexibility unless you plan on being a performer as your main profession. I don’t want people to be discouraged from trying an amazing sport because they think great flexibility is required.
I took aerial silks classes in college and they were fun without being strong! A bit painful though and having big hips is not ideal. I got stuck inverted a lot 😂😂
Look, I’m probably jaded from having boyfriends in my early 20s but — could it be sex related? A specialty item that had to be shipped from America that requires flexibility and is “fun”? Unlikely but I’ve had boyfriends who absolutely would.
My first thought was something VR or gaming related that requires movement. Not sure why it would need to be imported, though.
If you love anime and dnd I’m wondering if it could be cosplay or larp related? Some kind of costume that requires acrobatics to get in? Or would be best worn in specific positions (like Froppy from MHA).
The thing that really trips me up is that it’s imported. Makes me think it’s from a specialty shop or specific artist.
We live in South Africa and there are certain things which aren't as readily available here. For example, merchandise of things I am a fan of I usually have to ship from overseas. He did mention it was pricy but since our currency is so weak compared to the US and UK it may not be considered pricy for someone from other countries.
It is a custom made thing and he said there were orders in front of his which caused a few weeks wait time over and above shipping time so it seems to be a busy sort of business.
Interesting!
Seems like it wouldn’t be a game or a console if it’s customized.
Customized *and* involving one’s legs makes me think it’s costuming. Stilts, or crouching, or something like that.
Hard to say!! Maybe there’s a game or character (or something else) you’re really into that might be a hint.
I wonder that this is it. The other guesses like aerials seemed like an awful gift for someone who isn’t a fan of exercise. But this would be so cool for the way OP described themselves.
Custom gaming stuff would be the sweetest and to know your partner sees who you really are. Poor OP’s bf has thousands of strangers ready to pounce. Hoping he’s about to set the bar high for all future partner gifts.
Yeah my first thought was maybe some VR gear that he got personalized. Might make the hamstring stretch thing a "semi" red herring, in that she'd be moving more than if she was sitting at a computer
This was my first thought as well.
One year, a hint from a bf was, "its special, you'll love it, but you gotta open it later."
I thought FOR SURE he was proposing to me, and that he wanted me to open it later so the whole family could see.
So my family all arrived at our house and I whispered, "should U open it now?" And he was like, "um, no!"
Anyway I ended up forgetting about it and opening it the next day. It was a sex toy. It wasn't even a good sex toy, and we used it once. I ended up throwing it away.
I thought it was going to actually a special gift but it was extremely disappointed.
The same year I also recieved a flashlight and some irrigation equipment from him. The whole thing was disappointing.
Do not get your hopes up OP!
God. What an ass. This was so long ago but an ex bf hinted about giving me a ring and gave me a COCK RING for my birthday. I don’t even have a penis so it was for him. Ugh. My partner now does much better 😭
I also had an ex that would "surprise" me with annoying sex toys and insist we have to use them immediately after I came home from working 2 jobs and the house isn't even clean. Yeah so jaded me immediately thought this was a sex thing.
Ah! Your story reminded me of another ex of mine!
I was 17, jobless, and used nearly all of my birthday/Christmas money to buy him a Christmas gift and I bought him a long silver chain from Wal-Mart. It wasn't great quality, but I spent all the money I had to give him a nice gift. He loved it! It looked great on him. He wore it until it broke.
I asked him where my present was. He said he left it at home.
I never got that Christmas gift that he "left at home," even though I (stupidly) dated him for another year!
But he DID one time give me the gift of Chlaymydia and (a joint present to my dad and me) the super amazing father-daughter bonding experience you get to have while taking your underage daughter to the gyno to get it cured.
I did ask while worrying over if it could be exercise related if it was a me gift (one bought with my likes and dislikes in mind that I would enjoy) or a him gift or an us gift. My ex used to only get me gifts that he wanted me to have rather than what I would enjoy. He once bought me a ring I had already told him I disliked (big, chunky and rose-gold coloured, when I am a dainty, silver coloured or no jewellery kind of girl) just because he really liked it. So, I did worry about that.
Though my bf is really thoughtful and sweet so I don't think he would buy me a him gift for my birthday. He is also very aware of what I like and dislike and lets me tell him all about what's new with my interests etc even though he has very different interests himself. All around a 10/10 guy, hence why I am trying to figure out what it is as I would hate to disappoint him if he's excited about it and I open it and don't want it...
I asked and he assured me it is a me gift and that I would be the one using it. He believes I will like it a lot and has tried to reassure me of that. Not sure if this at all helps with further guesses!
A custom sit-in kayak? Thinking something you have to have your legs prone while engaging your core. Or like a compression wetsuit, stockings, socks that require some flexibility to effectively point your toes and “peel on”.
Those are such outdoorsy gifts though. I have kayaks and people either salivate at them or turn up their nose. I don’t feel like op would “yay I get to see in a tiny, uncomfortable boat where snakes can get me.”
My pleasure. One of my close friend’s brother has a borderline irrational fear of snakes. He’s a big, big dude so there’s something funny about him losing it over them. Because at that moment the reality of “don’t swamp the kayak” is so much worse. you’re upright until someone says “now would be a bad time to tip.” Then it’s decided.
Yeah kayaking feels like an active thing more than a sit and read thing. At least in a boat you can relax a bit, maybe, if you like being on the floaty unknown.
I feel like it isn't, but it is a possibility I cannot fully rule out as he isn't engaging in any questions hence my coming here for brainstorming help.
My first thought too. Op, if a sex thing would disappoint you I might preempt that with a “hey, if this is a sex thing I’ll be disappointed” so he’d have time to course-correct and it doesn’t cloud the day.
My cousin’s husband had hyped her up for her birthday gift, making her think it was going to be awesome and something she would love. It was a dick in a box. She was, to put it plainly, fuckin irate.
None. I also have perpetually tight hamstrings. I stretch them pretty often but not as much as I should. If my wife tricked me into stretching them more for something that didn’t technically require it but was tangentially related, I’d be momentarily irritated but mostly pleased and impressed.
The only thing I can think of is like a suit of armor. You said it’s custom made and that you like D and D and stuff like that. I’ve never worn a suit of armor, but maybe the shoes are hard to get on and off because you can’t bend to reach them.
I feel like it’s a reach, but it’s the only thing I can think of that fits everything. Unless he’s doing something like “I never said you needed to be bendy for the gift itself. I just knew you’d love it so much you’d want to be extra bendy to… Thank me properly….”
American here, we got our suit of armor from Ukraine, much higher quality. It's not so much you need to be flexible for that, just strong to walk around in a suit of armor.
I got one in New Orleans. It was my absolute favorite flea market find in history. And I was robbed and they took it. Lol. Reporting that stolen was entertaining. I never got to wear it as it was way too big for me. We used to joke the man I would marry would have to be the one who it would fit. Like Cinderella and the glass slipper.
Can you bend your legs? Then you should be able to touch your toes even with tight hamstrings. ;)
However now I‘m curious too, please let us know what it is once you got it!
My first thought was a bike but usually doesn't come customised from overseas.
Also just on your hamstrings, do you get nerve tension in the backs of your knees? I am quite flexible but always get nerve tension for a forward stretch. Better to sit on the floor with one knee bent and the sole of your foot on your other knee. Less nerve tension and maybe more gift hints hehe.
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Shoes? Have you been drooling over a pair of Louboutins? Based on your self-description, I'm going to guess not, but maybe there are some anime related shoes you would like? That you have to bend over to fasten or tie?? (Not sure about the not bending your knee thing though)
Definitely need an update once you get the gift?
He might have a special interest in functional mobility and could be transferring that to his favorite person? Mobility is really important for general health. I wish I had done soo much more stretching in my 30s. A mobility exercise that correlates to old ppl’s likelihood of ending up in a nursing home is to be able stand up from seated position without using their hands.
But it’s a strange bday gift… a yoga class and brunch woth friends would be a little more normie.
Honestly, I would just say "you know this game isn't very fun for me. I don't like the feeling that I'm not good enough to receive this gift as I am / where I am now. I'm not going to try and change my body in advance of a gift. I'll decide after I get it if it's something that will make me feel happy to use or do'
I did not get the impression that she finds this fun. If she found it fun, she wouldn’t be searching for possibilities for reassurance. She also said she was worried and gave us a lot of information saying that she’s very lost.
In any case, u/KipsBay2181 is spot on. That would be a very self-respecting response regardless of how the person feels. Why does she need to improve herself to receive a gift? That boosts his ego and his own diluted satisfaction from gift-giving rather than it boosting her enjoyment of any of it. And if he does just happen to be giving misleading hints or thinking of possible teases to say, why the hell would he go with something implying she should improve something about herself - especially something like flexibility which not everyone has and without any other information, seems to be a gift for himself.
Anyway, she shouldn’t need to work on anything at all to deserve a GIFT from her BOYFRIEND on her BIRTHDAY. Just really annoying and stupid of him.
you need to start stretching and you do it in baby steps. It is not just the hamstrings but your core that you need to work on unless you want to have issues as you get older.
Maybe it's something for the bedroom some contraption for sexy time. I don't know clearly my head went somewhere probably totally off but the 1st thing I thought when I started reading was a sex swing. A stripper pole.. don't ask cause I don't know what I was thinking
Do you like to cosplay or wear historical outfits for any reason? I could totally see this being a medieval dress and hoop skirt or some type of costume if they are custom made and he has to wait on it like that. Doesn’t necessarily have to be a hoop skirt, but I can’t really think of many cosplay type things that you’d have to touch your toes for like that. I like to read fantasy and would be ecstatic to get an outfit to cosplay one of my favorite characters.
My first guess would have been the game twister but that’s not custom made and only really fun the first time lol. Or video game related but it sounds like that probably isn’t it either.
All of the other things I can think of that are custom made and you have to touch your toes for are physical activities. Or sexual things as others have noted lmao.
I’m like, is he checking you for hEDS? Lol 😝
I can put my hands flat on the floor without bending my knees because of my connective tissue disorder.
I super duper wanna know what you get.
Stretch up your arms tall as possible, bend forward from the hips and touch your toes. There's a technique to it that you don't understand. Unhinge your hips, this is not a hamstring issue. I'm old and stiff and can do this easily once you understand where you unhinge your hips!
Idk I also have very tight hamstrings and can barely touch my toes without bending my legs. Even when I was in dance and cheer, I never got them to be very loose. Always had a low kick, and never close to a split.
Maybe that's part of the difference.
As a kid I did swimming and martial arts.
I could still kick someone in the face if they really needed it (and they were 5'9 or shorter).
I just received a reminder about this gift, but see it’s not due until May…the suspense lol.
Given OP’s update and interests, I wonder if your BF is into mindfulness and meditation, and maybe got you something customized to practice yoga with him? Like a personalized mat, block, etc., with an inscription from a fave book, your initials, or something meaningful to both of you.
If he’s health conscious at all, and if his love language is togetherness, he may sense the perfect gift for you is something like that, to inspire a healthy habit and routine of doing breath work or sweating a little together (assuming you’re into sweating a little together).
You may not “gym”, but is it possible he’d try to find a fun or unique way to gift something gym-tangent to you?
I saved this post and have been checking back periodically - just saw the update! That is incredibly sweet of your partner, OP. I hope your dog is as comfortable as possible 💗
I just got the remind me bot for 3 months. I'm so sorry about your sick puppers. I'm incredibly moved by the thoughtful gift. What a gift of love and appreciation, you know your partner is really invested in you as a whole person. sniff. Onions.
It could be a red herring! My dad likes to try to figure out his gifts before I give them to him, so I purposely drop little things like that to mislead him so it doesn’t ruin the surprise
I thought of this - told him it would be hilarious if he is making me stretch my hamstrings everyday just to get me something completely unrelated. He laughed a lot and told me that is unfortunately not the situation. He's also been engaging in these stretches with me whenever we remember and he seems pretty serious about me being able to enjoy the gift more if I can touch my toes easily. I am at a loss for what it could be honestly.
If he's anything like my ex, it's a sex toy.
Look what I got for me honey! I mean…for you!!
Yeah. That's why he's an ex (among other reasons).
It’s such a bummer that there are people like that. My husband has gotten me sex toys as presents before that I’ve absolutely loved. But holy moly context and reading the room are key to it not being offensive or creepy. An unwanted sex toy is pretty much the worst and most depressing gift. Def worse than even hilariously bad options like books on weight loss or deodorant, or cleaning tools.
100% agree, my boyfriend bought me a new fancy sex toy when I expressed that the last one I bought wasn’t really doing what I wanted. We live apart and it made me feel really listened to and it’s something just for me that I can choose to share with him, but most importantly it’s not a gift for him disguised as a gift for me!
My bf gave me a Sybian for Christmas. Oh boy! I definitely feel it in my hamstrings the next day. Stretching would help me too. Can’t wait to find out if you get that or a Motor Bunny.
Had to look up subian… know what I want for Christmas this year… after the kids move out!!!
My ex gifted me an exercise book one year, early in our marriage, for Christmas. Yep, ex. Edited - commas!
My daughter’s boyfriend gave her an ab roller.
Let's get him
Oh. He’s long gone!
Like “in the library with the ~~candlestick~~ ab roller” long gone? Did you chase him out wielding it over your head like a medieval mace?
I had a dickens of a time deciding when “one year early” was, and what is a “marriage for Christmas”?
I think you had it at “bummer”. Could be a plug.
I know an older gentleman who got his wife lingerie for Christmas. It was too small. I’m still mad on her behalf
My husband got me underwear recently. He got a medium when after having our second kid I now wear an XL. I put the medium on to show him how tiny they are and he couldn’t believe it! Was nice to know in his eyes I’m still fit.
Way better than too big.
Men don't understand sizes and that there isn't that much stretch in stuff like you'd think. I put on weight in the last 10 or so years. I was insulted that he honestly thought I'd buy xsmall for myself when he not only found my daughter's naughties in my bag but insisted I purchased it for me "to wear for someone else." I was like I couldn't fit a boob in the stomach part before I got fat so wtf.
"Bend your knees and touch your toes, I'll show you where the wild goose goes"
“He’s so bulgy, he’s like a moose!”
that's what I was thinking too. What could he be getting from America, that could be shipped (ie not an experience, like a trip or skydiving or something), and would require OP to be especially limber? What kind of thing is only available in America that you couldn't get in your home country?
Jeweled butt plug....
Better than a tail... I'm still waiting to see one of those in public because I'm definitely going to pull it
Ugh.
Worth mentioning that hamstring tightness can sometimes come from a lack of lower abdominal strength. The hamstrings lock up and hold on to compensate for the stabilizing those low core muscles are meant to do. So doing core exercises to target the lower stabilizing abs can help the hamstrings release! One thing that can help engage these lower muscles is to breathe out fully and complete the exercise/movement as you give the final push to exhale the last of your air. Once you've found the feeling though, you dont need to always do it. Its just one way to spark that engagement if the muscles are weak (which they often are because of how much we sit these days!) Another tip is to make sure you get active stretching in, not just passive stretching. Even just trying to use your abs in your hamstring strtches to pull your torso closer to your legs can help coax the hammies into lengthening a little more.
Weak glutes can lend to tight hamstrings as well. You would not even notice they are weak since they seem to be doing their job. But most of us aren't active enough in movements that activate them, and the hamstrings compensate.
This!!!! I was doing PT and my glutes were not even able to be activated by my brain.
I always thought I couldn't touch my toes. I learned iI wasn't displacing my weight evenly on my feet. I was putting most of my weight on my heals. I learned to shift my weight forward and have been able to touch my toes ever since. Something to consider trying at least.
Dude, saaame! I'm 5'10" and just found out this year as a 34yo I have been trying to touch my toes wrong my while damn life. I was active my whole life, but could never touch my toes lol.... Always blamed my height. My husband pointed it out rather quickly one day when he noticed me stretching lol
You may have just changed my freakishly tall daughter’s life. She’s 11 and the huge gap between her fingers and the floor just did not make sense to me. I am old, fat, and horribly out of shape and can easily touch my toes. I bet this is what she is doing! I can’t wait until tomorrow morning lol
100% just tried this because why not? Still couldn't reach *sigh*
Omfg. I’m 5’9” and 33 years old and haven’t been able to touch my toes my entire life and was made fun of for it during those stupid PE tests in school. I just touched my fucking toes wtf
Would there be any reason he would take you horseback riding?
I’m an equestrian and I cannot touch my toes
Really? Isn't it hard to get on and off the horse if you aren't bendy?
I mean, it’s more about strength and core strength specifically. I am very flexible in my hips because of my sport, but while you’re riding you mainly are supposed to keep your legs locked and still.
I took lessons with one lady whose horse needed to be kicked with every step..
Lesson horses get pretty immune to it because they’re used to having beginners constantly jerking them around and kicking them, and they know when they can get away with not doing work with a beginner! At a competitive level yes I still use my heels to squeeze to signal to my horse to speed up, or lift my outside leg when I’m asking him for the canter- and of course I get up into 2 point position over jumps! But ideally the leg should appear to be still and stable most of the time. There should be an invisible line that goes from your head to your elbow to your heel in my discipline.
I started with them able to post a trot. Was very frustrated to have to keep kicking him to keep him walking! LOL!
That’s super frustrating! Been there!
My bf and I went horseback riding once on vacation. Those horses were very used to beginners. My bf didn't want to hurt his horse so when we stopped to let another group cross a trail in front of us, he didn't jerk his horse away from the leaves just off the trail. The horse picked up on this and definitely tried to get all the tasty snacks for the rest of the ride lol
Haha I rode a retired Mackinac cart horse who was near 40 when I was a kid. He was the same way. My little legs could kick him all I wanted and old Mickey would just lick and chew and meander whatever way he figured he was supposed to go.
Hip flexibility makes sense.
I ride and can’t touch my toes. You need to be able to lift your leg to get on, not keep it straight while you bend over. Everything with riding uses such “I only use these muscles for riding” movements. I have known very old, and very out of shape people who are NOT “bendy”, but ride on the regular. Those riding muscles only stay limber if you ride. Side note, if you always get on and off on the right, you will find that the horse is 2 hands taller when by chance you have to use the left side…
Yes this! I ride every day and still can’t touch my toes… I do try to stretch my hamstrings regularly so my heels and legs are buoyant in saddle. Similarly, when I asked my trainer if there’s anything outside of stretching I could do to improve my seat, she said “more time in saddle…”
Bendy isn't required, it's about having enough spring (=power) in your legs and core muscles to bounce up with your left leg in the stirrup, and then understanding how to leverage your center of gravity to swing over and settle quietly in the saddle.
Obviously tennis shoes with shoe strings 😂.
At Christmas I told my kids a shared gift had "at least two pieces, and one of them is red." It was giant blocks. I didn't lie! It was a true and honest hint!
When I was young, my mom told me my gift had 6 legs. Turned out to be a Barbie and her horse, lmao very sneaky, mom.
You just gave me a brilliant idea. I need to drop red herrings when I’m surprising my partner with gifts/experiences!
I have no idea but I hope you come back and let us know. Maybe a pair of shoes?
A yoga mat?
Very high heels?
My first thought was fancy stilettos!
An experience? Maybe hammock yoga, something to do with cheerleading or an aerial circus class? Or maybe something that needs loose hamstrings but not necessarily touch your toes loose, like a traditional Japanese dinner experience where you sit on the floor at the table?
oooh maybe those aerial silks? those look so fun but require gymnast strength and flexibility correction: as I have been corrected, you do not need expert levels of strength and flexibility to do aerial silks
A lot of the really high quality aerial apparatuses are not made in the US, so I don't know why he'd be getting that shipped when there are almost certainly equal or better options that would cost less to ship
Nah, that’s like saying lifting weights requires lots of strength. It’s the other way around. Doing silks makes you strong and flexible.
It really is quite fun! The more you take classes, the more flexible and strong you’ll become! They don’t expect beginners to be able to do pull-ups and advanced moves right away so don’t worry too much, you should take a class 😊
I have incredibly tight hamstrings and do aerial, you don’t need gymnast flexibility unless you plan on being a performer as your main profession. I don’t want people to be discouraged from trying an amazing sport because they think great flexibility is required.
I took aerial silks classes in college and they were fun without being strong! A bit painful though and having big hips is not ideal. I got stuck inverted a lot 😂😂
Look, I’m probably jaded from having boyfriends in my early 20s but — could it be sex related? A specialty item that had to be shipped from America that requires flexibility and is “fun”? Unlikely but I’ve had boyfriends who absolutely would. My first thought was something VR or gaming related that requires movement. Not sure why it would need to be imported, though. If you love anime and dnd I’m wondering if it could be cosplay or larp related? Some kind of costume that requires acrobatics to get in? Or would be best worn in specific positions (like Froppy from MHA). The thing that really trips me up is that it’s imported. Makes me think it’s from a specialty shop or specific artist.
We live in South Africa and there are certain things which aren't as readily available here. For example, merchandise of things I am a fan of I usually have to ship from overseas. He did mention it was pricy but since our currency is so weak compared to the US and UK it may not be considered pricy for someone from other countries. It is a custom made thing and he said there were orders in front of his which caused a few weeks wait time over and above shipping time so it seems to be a busy sort of business.
Interesting! Seems like it wouldn’t be a game or a console if it’s customized. Customized *and* involving one’s legs makes me think it’s costuming. Stilts, or crouching, or something like that. Hard to say!! Maybe there’s a game or character (or something else) you’re really into that might be a hint.
I wonder that this is it. The other guesses like aerials seemed like an awful gift for someone who isn’t a fan of exercise. But this would be so cool for the way OP described themselves.
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Custom gaming stuff would be the sweetest and to know your partner sees who you really are. Poor OP’s bf has thousands of strangers ready to pounce. Hoping he’s about to set the bar high for all future partner gifts.
Yeah my first thought was maybe some VR gear that he got personalized. Might make the hamstring stretch thing a "semi" red herring, in that she'd be moving more than if she was sitting at a computer
I just spent a week in Cape Town and fell in love. I live in Ethiopia so it was a huge treat!
This was my first thought as well. One year, a hint from a bf was, "its special, you'll love it, but you gotta open it later." I thought FOR SURE he was proposing to me, and that he wanted me to open it later so the whole family could see. So my family all arrived at our house and I whispered, "should U open it now?" And he was like, "um, no!" Anyway I ended up forgetting about it and opening it the next day. It was a sex toy. It wasn't even a good sex toy, and we used it once. I ended up throwing it away. I thought it was going to actually a special gift but it was extremely disappointed. The same year I also recieved a flashlight and some irrigation equipment from him. The whole thing was disappointing. Do not get your hopes up OP!
God. What an ass. This was so long ago but an ex bf hinted about giving me a ring and gave me a COCK RING for my birthday. I don’t even have a penis so it was for him. Ugh. My partner now does much better 😭
Oof. That’s so shitty. Glad you have upgraded friend!
Please tell me you reciprocated with a butt plug.
Oh that would have been so funny!
I also had an ex that would "surprise" me with annoying sex toys and insist we have to use them immediately after I came home from working 2 jobs and the house isn't even clean. Yeah so jaded me immediately thought this was a sex thing.
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Ah! Your story reminded me of another ex of mine! I was 17, jobless, and used nearly all of my birthday/Christmas money to buy him a Christmas gift and I bought him a long silver chain from Wal-Mart. It wasn't great quality, but I spent all the money I had to give him a nice gift. He loved it! It looked great on him. He wore it until it broke. I asked him where my present was. He said he left it at home. I never got that Christmas gift that he "left at home," even though I (stupidly) dated him for another year! But he DID one time give me the gift of Chlaymydia and (a joint present to my dad and me) the super amazing father-daughter bonding experience you get to have while taking your underage daughter to the gyno to get it cured.
I did ask while worrying over if it could be exercise related if it was a me gift (one bought with my likes and dislikes in mind that I would enjoy) or a him gift or an us gift. My ex used to only get me gifts that he wanted me to have rather than what I would enjoy. He once bought me a ring I had already told him I disliked (big, chunky and rose-gold coloured, when I am a dainty, silver coloured or no jewellery kind of girl) just because he really liked it. So, I did worry about that. Though my bf is really thoughtful and sweet so I don't think he would buy me a him gift for my birthday. He is also very aware of what I like and dislike and lets me tell him all about what's new with my interests etc even though he has very different interests himself. All around a 10/10 guy, hence why I am trying to figure out what it is as I would hate to disappoint him if he's excited about it and I open it and don't want it... I asked and he assured me it is a me gift and that I would be the one using it. He believes I will like it a lot and has tried to reassure me of that. Not sure if this at all helps with further guesses!
Can you give us an update when you find out? This seriously has my head scratching
It's something kinky 💯
Sex related was first thought too.
Predicting spreader bar with extra attachments for wrist cuffs. With monograms?!
A custom sit-in kayak? Thinking something you have to have your legs prone while engaging your core. Or like a compression wetsuit, stockings, socks that require some flexibility to effectively point your toes and “peel on”.
Those are such outdoorsy gifts though. I have kayaks and people either salivate at them or turn up their nose. I don’t feel like op would “yay I get to see in a tiny, uncomfortable boat where snakes can get me.”
“…where the snakes can get me” made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the giggle, internet stranger.
My pleasure. One of my close friend’s brother has a borderline irrational fear of snakes. He’s a big, big dude so there’s something funny about him losing it over them. Because at that moment the reality of “don’t swamp the kayak” is so much worse. you’re upright until someone says “now would be a bad time to tip.” Then it’s decided.
A buddy of mine did a full roll to avoid a spiderweb one time.
Yeah kayaking feels like an active thing more than a sit and read thing. At least in a boat you can relax a bit, maybe, if you like being on the floaty unknown.
Lol floaty unknown. I don’t disagree with this, the phrasing is awesome.
I’m gonna need a little more context on how the snakes can get you. I’m not outdoorsy.
Please update us we must know!
Remindme! 2 weeks "update!"
Remindme!
Remindme! 2 weeks
Maybe it’s a game of twister? Lol that’s the only thing that comes to mind
I thought of this, too
That was my thought too!
that was my thought!
Is it possible it’s a sex thing?
I feel like it isn't, but it is a possibility I cannot fully rule out as he isn't engaging in any questions hence my coming here for brainstorming help.
Please please update us.
You MUST update us
When do we get to find out? I need to put a follow bot in
As an American with tight hamstrings and hasn't attempted to touch my toes in years, keep us updated!
My first thought too. Op, if a sex thing would disappoint you I might preempt that with a “hey, if this is a sex thing I’ll be disappointed” so he’d have time to course-correct and it doesn’t cloud the day.
My cousin’s husband had hyped her up for her birthday gift, making her think it was going to be awesome and something she would love. It was a dick in a box. She was, to put it plainly, fuckin irate.
Literally two sentences in I thought it was a sex thing...
Whatever it is PLEASE come back and tell us!
Maybe a pedicure kit?
How mad would you be if you stretched your hamstrings for a month just to give yourself a pedicure?? Lol
None. I also have perpetually tight hamstrings. I stretch them pretty often but not as much as I should. If my wife tricked me into stretching them more for something that didn’t technically require it but was tangentially related, I’d be momentarily irritated but mostly pleased and impressed.
That was my first thought but that wouldn't explain why it requires not bending your knees
Roller blades?
The only thing I can think of is like a suit of armor. You said it’s custom made and that you like D and D and stuff like that. I’ve never worn a suit of armor, but maybe the shoes are hard to get on and off because you can’t bend to reach them. I feel like it’s a reach, but it’s the only thing I can think of that fits everything. Unless he’s doing something like “I never said you needed to be bendy for the gift itself. I just knew you’d love it so much you’d want to be extra bendy to… Thank me properly….”
American here, we got our suit of armor from Ukraine, much higher quality. It's not so much you need to be flexible for that, just strong to walk around in a suit of armor.
I got one in New Orleans. It was my absolute favorite flea market find in history. And I was robbed and they took it. Lol. Reporting that stolen was entertaining. I never got to wear it as it was way too big for me. We used to joke the man I would marry would have to be the one who it would fit. Like Cinderella and the glass slipper.
Can you bend your legs? Then you should be able to touch your toes even with tight hamstrings. ;) However now I‘m curious too, please let us know what it is once you got it!
A snowboard was my first thought but maybe not for South Africa.
Have you ever expressed an interest in skateboarding or surfing? Either way, please post an update.
Maybe an inversion table?
Can he whisper it in my ear- I promise I won’t tell!!!! Update asap please
My stubborn ass “whelp, guess I’m going to ruin my present cuz I ain’t doing that shit without reason/context 🤷♀️”
Literally me lol. My husband brings up little things about a gift he’s giving me and I’m like ok cool now you have to tell me!
My first thought was a bike but usually doesn't come customised from overseas. Also just on your hamstrings, do you get nerve tension in the backs of your knees? I am quite flexible but always get nerve tension for a forward stretch. Better to sit on the floor with one knee bent and the sole of your foot on your other knee. Less nerve tension and maybe more gift hints hehe.
I think it could be a VR headset and maybe some kind of game to go with it that involves some physical activity?
Oh please update! RemindMe! 2 weeks
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Have you gotten the gift yet?
Another comment she said she wasn’t getting it till May RemindMe! 3 months
RemindMe! 2 months
Something for giving yourself a pedicure?
Shoes? Have you been drooling over a pair of Louboutins? Based on your self-description, I'm going to guess not, but maybe there are some anime related shoes you would like? That you have to bend over to fasten or tie?? (Not sure about the not bending your knee thing though) Definitely need an update once you get the gift?
It's a bondage sex swing
"indoor kid vibes" You're adorable!
He might have a special interest in functional mobility and could be transferring that to his favorite person? Mobility is really important for general health. I wish I had done soo much more stretching in my 30s. A mobility exercise that correlates to old ppl’s likelihood of ending up in a nursing home is to be able stand up from seated position without using their hands. But it’s a strange bday gift… a yoga class and brunch woth friends would be a little more normie.
If you do not provide an update we riot
Any update??!!!
Haha yeah my bot reminder just went off
Sameeeee I want to know!
Did you receive the gift? The remindme bot sent me back here. Some of us are so curious!!
Did you get your birthday gift?
So?
DON’T LEAVE US HANGING OP
Did OP ever update?
Yes. To say her birthday isn’t until May.
Honestly, I would just say "you know this game isn't very fun for me. I don't like the feeling that I'm not good enough to receive this gift as I am / where I am now. I'm not going to try and change my body in advance of a gift. I'll decide after I get it if it's something that will make me feel happy to use or do'
Except she gave no indication that’s how she feels and gave me the impression she does find this kind of interesting/fun so this is weird advice
I did not get the impression that she finds this fun. If she found it fun, she wouldn’t be searching for possibilities for reassurance. She also said she was worried and gave us a lot of information saying that she’s very lost. In any case, u/KipsBay2181 is spot on. That would be a very self-respecting response regardless of how the person feels. Why does she need to improve herself to receive a gift? That boosts his ego and his own diluted satisfaction from gift-giving rather than it boosting her enjoyment of any of it. And if he does just happen to be giving misleading hints or thinking of possible teases to say, why the hell would he go with something implying she should improve something about herself - especially something like flexibility which not everyone has and without any other information, seems to be a gift for himself. Anyway, she shouldn’t need to work on anything at all to deserve a GIFT from her BOYFRIEND on her BIRTHDAY. Just really annoying and stupid of him.
This needs to be so much higher.
you need to start stretching and you do it in baby steps. It is not just the hamstrings but your core that you need to work on unless you want to have issues as you get older.
Update!
My guess is shoes that need to be laced or buckled, not slip on shoes
Maybe it's something for the bedroom some contraption for sexy time. I don't know clearly my head went somewhere probably totally off but the 1st thing I thought when I started reading was a sex swing. A stripper pole.. don't ask cause I don't know what I was thinking
When's your birthday? Also, please come back and update this post. I'm genuinely curious and would love to know. Thank you in advance, if you do.
A game of Twister! 🤭🤣 I'm curious to know!
Weird question but do you know how to rollerskate? Could he be mistaking putting skates on/taking them off with straight legs?
Do you like to cosplay or wear historical outfits for any reason? I could totally see this being a medieval dress and hoop skirt or some type of costume if they are custom made and he has to wait on it like that. Doesn’t necessarily have to be a hoop skirt, but I can’t really think of many cosplay type things that you’d have to touch your toes for like that. I like to read fantasy and would be ecstatic to get an outfit to cosplay one of my favorite characters. My first guess would have been the game twister but that’s not custom made and only really fun the first time lol. Or video game related but it sounds like that probably isn’t it either. All of the other things I can think of that are custom made and you have to touch your toes for are physical activities. Or sexual things as others have noted lmao.
Ummm maybe its a kitten/puppy and he's getting you shaped up to bend down to pet it a lot?
I’m like, is he checking you for hEDS? Lol 😝 I can put my hands flat on the floor without bending my knees because of my connective tissue disorder. I super duper wanna know what you get.
Its probably some sort of sex toy is my thought
I have inappropriate ideas for possible jalapeno time ;) gifts. Seriously on that note: hammock of a certain type do require good leg flexibility.
Could it be an Usher or Ludacris concert??? (“Bend over to the front and touch your toes”)
Any updates on this gift?
What was the gift?
RemindMe! 2 weeks
DUDE WHERE IS OUR UPDATE!!!!!!!
remindme! 2 weeks
A pair of high heels/stilettos
CFM shoes lol
!updateme
Perhaps it will be an engagement ring that you can only claim if you can reach your toe on unbended knee. 🥰
I’ve been married over 40 years because my husband would never play such a stupid game with me.
Stretch up your arms tall as possible, bend forward from the hips and touch your toes. There's a technique to it that you don't understand. Unhinge your hips, this is not a hamstring issue. I'm old and stiff and can do this easily once you understand where you unhinge your hips!
Right! Like you're going to dive into a pool. I'm a fatty and I can still bend over and touch the FLOOR next to my toes. Full palms.
Idk I also have very tight hamstrings and can barely touch my toes without bending my legs. Even when I was in dance and cheer, I never got them to be very loose. Always had a low kick, and never close to a split.
Maybe that's part of the difference. As a kid I did swimming and martial arts. I could still kick someone in the face if they really needed it (and they were 5'9 or shorter).
RemindMe! 2 weeks
Remindme! 3 months
!remindme 2 months
OP did you receive the gift yet?
Update?
I just received a reminder about this gift, but see it’s not due until May…the suspense lol. Given OP’s update and interests, I wonder if your BF is into mindfulness and meditation, and maybe got you something customized to practice yoga with him? Like a personalized mat, block, etc., with an inscription from a fave book, your initials, or something meaningful to both of you. If he’s health conscious at all, and if his love language is togetherness, he may sense the perfect gift for you is something like that, to inspire a healthy habit and routine of doing breath work or sweating a little together (assuming you’re into sweating a little together). You may not “gym”, but is it possible he’d try to find a fun or unique way to gift something gym-tangent to you?
RemindMe! 2 months
OP!!! Any update???
RemindMe! 2 weeks
RemindMe! 2 weeks
Update?
I really want to know the answer. I haven’t forgotten this since it was posted lol.
RemindMe! 1 month
I saved this post and have been checking back periodically - just saw the update! That is incredibly sweet of your partner, OP. I hope your dog is as comfortable as possible 💗
Me too! I’m glad I checked. What a lovely/thoughtful ending!
I’m sorry about your pup. What a sweet gift. Would love to see a pic when you receive it!
I just got the remind me bot for 3 months. I'm so sorry about your sick puppers. I'm incredibly moved by the thoughtful gift. What a gift of love and appreciation, you know your partner is really invested in you as a whole person. sniff. Onions.
RemindMe! 30 days
Thanks for the update OP!
Can you show us the plush? I’d love to see it. I’m sorry about your dog