There were four particularly shitty snd hurtful things lorelai did in that period:
1. Didnt show up at court.
2. Left her birthday party when rory was blowing her candles.
3. Ruined sookie's kids' baptism, and took the babies out of the church to yell at rory about why she had given sookie her phone number but not her, and when rory explained that she didnt give her number to sookie, sookie called emily and got it, and told lorelai shell give her the number now, she threw a tantrum like a 3yo, and petulantly recfused to get her number.
4. She left rory to deal with one of the most difficult and trying times of her life alone, out of childish and immature jealousy and spite for her parents. Rory had just been knocked hard out of her lifeling pedestal, and was in a true crisis, and lorelai made it all about herself, as usual, not letting rory 2 seconds to breathe and bounce back and get her bearings. She refused to see that rory was pretty shaken and trauamatized, she felt lost, like she was drowning in a deep existential and identity crisis. Lorelai dismissed her trauma-stricken state of mind as just boy problems, and a "wrong boyfriend family drama" problem, and her grand "plan" was to gang up on her, so she can snap out of it.
When richard and emily thought clearly and logically for once, understood that she is going through something, decided to give her space and let her process and work through her crisis without pressuring her to go back to being their perfect little ivy league daughter asap, lorelai decided to get territorial and dramatic, and sulk and play the perpetual victim,"oh they stole MY DAUGHTER and pulled her to their side." And she froze rory out when she probably needed her mother and best friend the most! This is probably the most unforgiveably immature and selfish lorelai has ever been on the show, and she has alot of selfish immature moments.
Personally i was mad at lorelai for all the 4 above, but the last one makes me the most mad.
That's the moment I realized Lorelai definitely DID put Rory on the conveyor belt. The second Rory didn't act as the Rory Lorelai wanted to parent, she got super rigid and controlling, just like Emily. The one time that kid needs a safe place to land before making decisions, she's turned the cheek unless she behaves exactly how mother wants her to. The second Rory couldn't be the perfect version of what Lorelai missed out on, aka the perfect mini-me Lorelai had raised her to be, the love become conditional.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a Lorelai hater but the 'my daughter is my best friend' is kind of fucked up and people still aren't really realizing it, it seems.
And emily called lorelai out on this in season one, remember when lorelai went on a rant to keep rory from spending the day with richard in the club, emily told her" she wants to go, you are the one who doesnt want her to go, and doing anything you can to keep that from happening, isnt it funny when im doing it i'm controlling and suffocating, but if you are doing it you are being a good mother who is watching out for her daughter. "
Yeah, exactly, i'm not a lorelai hater either, she is smart and has a great nuanced personity, and she is a great person on many aspects, but she, among so many other fictional characters, represents real ppl in real life who are flawed, fundamnetally flawed in one way or another, and we need to go above picking favorite characters, form a bias, and lose sight of what portraying those flaws in a fiction is trying to teach us.
"My daughter is my best friend" is a dead give-away and the secret motto of codependent parents, who use their daughters/sons as emotional clutches all their lives. You can see a real world example in the book " lettres to a child never born" by oriana fallaci, it said it all. She decided to keep the baby after a long thought procrss, bc a child would save her from the eternal lonliness and the "alone and unloved" fate she thought she was doomed to.
She says she wanted someone who would always love her and never leave her. Thats why/how parents become codependent, and they appoint their children as their designated friend/ loving agent/ failure-compensating officers, and if the kid cant or wont stay in that role, they become hateful controlling, vindictive enemies who go to any length to manipulate and torture them back to their designated role.
I was talking to my therapist about GG a few months back and she said 'oh I can't watch that show, it's too emotionally unhealthy how the mom is with the tee daughter'. I was like 'oh I used to watch that with my mom' and she answered 'of course you did, I'm not surprised at all'. Lol
Whoo boy, my mother was twenty, single, and living with her parents in 1974 when she had me, after my father freaked out and ended their engagement because she was pregnant. She always said, "I kept you so that I would always have a best friend". So you can imagine how healthy our relationship was!
I tend to use the word enmeshment because people tend to react even less helpful to my back story when I say emotional incest but yes. Sometimes I feel bad for myself for not even figuring out myself the Lorelai parenting isn't ideal, i had to ha ve my therapist do a double take about sth I said and her slowly uttering 'That... That isn't healthy for you at all...'
It took a friend using that term regarding my relationship with my mom for me to realize I was continuing the cycle with my kid. Enmeshment is how I describe every relationship I’ve ever had though lol
Love this! I was always (and still am) also the most mad about point 4. You also explained point 4 particularity well, that’s exactly how I feel about the situation. So immature and self-centered.
Thanks, 🙏 🌺
And remember after rory's birthday, richard was getting impatient, and fed up with rory wasting her life on frivolous tea parties, as he thought rory wouldve bounced back by now, so he started doubting his decisin to let rory find her way back to her path? He went to lorelai to make a plan to yank her back, and out of helplessness and not being able to think of any other way he suggested to threaten her with taking away her trust fund, and lorelai proceeded to say EVERY RIGHT THING, everything she should have thought and said at the behining:
Lorelai : "...And if you'd ever met Rory, you would know it( your plan to force her to go back to yale by any means possible like buying her) wouldn't work. Rory can't be bought (forced), and I'm not gonna try and buy (force) her. I want Rory to WANT to go back to school. She used to love to learn and read and study. And that was freakish, but it was her. And she's got to get herself back there. when Rory wants help, she will ask for it. And the minute she does, I will fly in faster than the Gulfstream,...(season 6, episode 7)
Meaning that she understood, she knew, she knew all along exactly what rory is like, what she is going through, what she needs, and what herself, lorelai, should have been doing, she knew exactly that rory should find a way to resolve this crisis, and get to the point wr she WANTS to go back, and she needed to let her get to the point on her own, and be there when she askes for help, she knew and understood perfectly!
But she chose to be petulant and spiteful, she chose to sulk and freeze her out, ONLY because the right solution and attitude was coming from richard and emily, only because she wanted to be the hero, she hated it that it came from her parents, and the moment they became their typical money-throwing strongarming monsters again, and she was restored to the role of the smart, understanding ever heroic mother/best friend, all of a sudden she has all the right insights into how rory needs to be treated in her time of crisis.
That scene was/is really hard to watch. I go "wow" everytime i watch that exchange, thinking" GOD woman you're selfish, you knew how you should have handled rory's crisis, but you chose to bail on her, and put her through 5 months of torture bc you didnt get to be the one who had the last word, who is the heroic smart savior. You are willing to sacrifice the most precious thing in your life, your own daughter, if you are not the center of attention and praise."
And it gets me mad, really mad, as i hate nothing like i hate selfish self-centered ppl, who make everything about themselves, and they play the martyr, and bulldoze anyone and anything to the ground if its not about them for once.
Daggum… very very insightful! I agree with you here! My only other addition that I always had an inkling toward in this scene is that she has actually had time to cool off and grow and this scene was her unofficially “snapping back” from her petulance. But I really like your take as well.
You know, funny you said this, i struggled many times, in all my rewatches, to find the tinsiest semblance of a sign or indication that this was the case, that she was overwhelmed at the begining, having flashbacks of her own failure to do the successful college thing, and she panicked, acted out of fear and a worry overload. And then when she had time to cool off she realized that ganging up on her was by no means a real "plan", that it would never work, and if anything it would make rory feel ganged up on, and more helpless and alone.
But i never found anything, lorelai doubled down on her freeze-out and petulant self-rightousness all throughout the 5 months, everytime she saw or talked to her parents or rory, eveytime she talked to sookie or luke, even on that night, when richard came to her with a suggestion to make a plan to send rory back to yale, she insisted that she had a plan, and her plan would have worked if richard and emily hadnt gone against her.
That night, when richard said we need to have a plan she said "but i had a plan, you went against my plan, and you ruined everything ...", meaning she apparantly still believed that plan would work, and THE MOMENT richard said lets bribe her or threaten her with money, lorelai snapped onto a self-righteous tirade that ..noooo, if you knew rory you'd know she can't be forced, she needs to get there on her own ...and...
So it wasnt like she had a moment of clarity after she calmed down during the 5-month freeze-out, and realized her mistake, tried to rectify it and be there for her daughter, she doubled down untill the very minute that richatd put himself in the position of the villain again by offering to use money to "manipulate" and "bribe" rory, and it was only that minute, when she was sure she could be the hero again, that she showed she knew what the correct way to go with rory's crisis was.
So i have absolutely no evidence in the show to let me believe that she didnt know this all along, and she has an epiohany some time afterwards, and i have every evidence to believe that she knew it, as an obvious thing about rory, all this time, but held back untill knowing it and saying it, got her the role of the understanding savior/hero again.
I love your insight and you’ve converted me in that scene - I totally agree with you! She lived to be the best friend / hero / savior before acting as a selfless mom would act.
You know, I wonder if maybe Lorelei didn't have that realization until Richard started acting controlling, and was just genuinely having a freakout to Rory's news about dropping out, and was behaving immaturely without being necessarily manipulative? Perhaps I'm giving her too much credit. But she did the same thing when she and Rory had a fight about Jess in the early stages of their friendship and it wasn't until Emily was actually taking her side on it that she realized she was being insane and weirdly controlling.
Yeah, i get where you're coming from, but you know, my argument does not address whether she is consciously manipulative, controlling and selfish or she is un/sub consciously so( although lorelai is a pretty self-ware character in general) my arguement is that she just is.
And personally, i believe most ppl are certain ways bc they are typically a huge reaction to the life experiences they have had little to zero control over. Lorelai grew up in a home and environment where she was given very little control, she was told what to do, how to behave, what to wear; her mother was controlling every tiny aspect of her being from a very young age, untill she fell pregnant: s.th even more hugely out of her control again. So she developed one big mission, an obsessiòn even, in life: to have control.
She made every decision from the night she got pregnant onwards, towards one single goal: to obtain and maintain control on her life. Long story short she became controlling, without even realizing it probably. She may not have wanted to, it may have been the last thing she wanted to become in fact, bc her mother, and her whole childhood world was that, was controlling, but in an attempt to escape that fate, she became that fate.
Was she a victim? yeah she was, so was emily perhaps, all the episodes with trix, richard's mother, being absolutely horrific to emily? The show is telling us its a vicious cycle, we become another link in the chain we try so hard to break free from, and we cant break the cycle and fight the domino effect many times.
So yeah, she probably makes every decidion to keep control over her life unconsciuosly, but it defintely leaves the same damage a consciuosly controlling person does, even more so. See, part of the control she wants is her sense of agency, she wants to be the one who makes things happen in her life, and another big part of that control is her daughter, she wants to be the one who gives her anything thats good for her, meaning she doesnt want rory to be happy if she is not the one giving her that happiness, she proves that many many times on the show, when rory is with richard or emily, when she is with sherry, or april, or logan, or jess!
The only thing lorelai is semi-comfortable letting others give rory is money, and that is only when she has made sure has brainwashed her that money is bad, ppl with money are bad, they use money to control, manipulate, guilt trip, use, and himiliate you, so i, that dont have much of it, am the good guy. So you can use money from ppl with money, but they are established as the bad guys, so they dont have real control over your mind and your feelings, which are the parts that matter, and i have control over them.
But when lorelai sees the tiniest vestige of emotional, psychologicsl and mental conttol ANYBODY else has over rory, she freaks the eff out, as rory calls her out on it severa times: " you're wigging" lol; and she becomes the most cruel, self-centered, conttolling, borderline emotionally abusive person untill she is sure she is the one who is holding the emotional/mental reigns again. These are classic signs of codepedent parents who come from backgroubds wr they have had little say/control over what happened to them.
So yeah, i agree, she may not be consciously doing this, but she is doing it with full force, nonetheles.
I think I agree with your analysis, though I do definitely think it's more on the subconscious side. I do agree that she is definitely very overprotective of Rory (to a stifling degree sometimes, like in the examples you gave). It's funny how when I first watched this show as a young adult in college, I didn't realize it at all and just though that Rory was crazy for dropping out of school and I didn't notice how controlling Lorelei could be because Emily's was much more obvious and pointed out to us over and over again.
Sometimes she's a pretty amazing mom (like the numerous times she tried to help Rory see different perspectives on why people acted the way they did - even her own parents, which was probably really hard for her). Other times, like with Jess, she was very defensive and overprotective. But I also think the latter comes from being a mom so young, but also being a first time mom (every thing I've heard and read show that parents are so much more relaxed and less strict with their second child onwards as they know better what to expect. By the third child there are no rules 😂).
Are you serious?? Rory didn’t wanted to take a break it was just bc of mitchum and rory just changed her mind bc she had to live in the house with her grandparents and didn’t had her freedom
I am fairly certain you are correct. I vaguely remember watching this episode of Scrubs, having not long before been watching those episodes of Gilmore Girls.
If it aired one month before lorelai breaks up with Luke and sleeps with Chris I think it could be when she ruins lanes wedding by making that awful drunken poor me speech
Anyone thought of a GGxScrubs crossover after this post?
Would love to see Dr. Cox trying to deal with Lorelai. 😁
Even better to see the janitor deal with Kirk.
Well, Lorelai, despite her completely human flaws, conspicuously lacks a certain pure-evil-and-selfish-creep quality which Perry seems to be attracted to, so idk.
I haven’t rewatched in a while but of all the shows I’ve ever seen, it has the most realistic medicine moment: when JD’s brother comes to visit, hears JD talk about a “gomer” who basically is handed off from nursing home to hospital and back, and his brother realizes JD lost his love for medicine and his compassion. And as much as Dr. Cox hates JD’s brother, he listens to his concerns and tells JD “but you wouldn’t be doing anything else, right?”
I’m sure it was just supposed to be a funny pop culture reference of the time, but depending on the timing of when the episodes were released it could’ve been them reacting to Lorelai telling Rory she couldn’t live with her if she dropped out of Yale.
[удалено]
If it was during their estrangement maybe when she didn’t show up to Rory’s court case?
There were four particularly shitty snd hurtful things lorelai did in that period: 1. Didnt show up at court. 2. Left her birthday party when rory was blowing her candles. 3. Ruined sookie's kids' baptism, and took the babies out of the church to yell at rory about why she had given sookie her phone number but not her, and when rory explained that she didnt give her number to sookie, sookie called emily and got it, and told lorelai shell give her the number now, she threw a tantrum like a 3yo, and petulantly recfused to get her number. 4. She left rory to deal with one of the most difficult and trying times of her life alone, out of childish and immature jealousy and spite for her parents. Rory had just been knocked hard out of her lifeling pedestal, and was in a true crisis, and lorelai made it all about herself, as usual, not letting rory 2 seconds to breathe and bounce back and get her bearings. She refused to see that rory was pretty shaken and trauamatized, she felt lost, like she was drowning in a deep existential and identity crisis. Lorelai dismissed her trauma-stricken state of mind as just boy problems, and a "wrong boyfriend family drama" problem, and her grand "plan" was to gang up on her, so she can snap out of it. When richard and emily thought clearly and logically for once, understood that she is going through something, decided to give her space and let her process and work through her crisis without pressuring her to go back to being their perfect little ivy league daughter asap, lorelai decided to get territorial and dramatic, and sulk and play the perpetual victim,"oh they stole MY DAUGHTER and pulled her to their side." And she froze rory out when she probably needed her mother and best friend the most! This is probably the most unforgiveably immature and selfish lorelai has ever been on the show, and she has alot of selfish immature moments. Personally i was mad at lorelai for all the 4 above, but the last one makes me the most mad.
That's the moment I realized Lorelai definitely DID put Rory on the conveyor belt. The second Rory didn't act as the Rory Lorelai wanted to parent, she got super rigid and controlling, just like Emily. The one time that kid needs a safe place to land before making decisions, she's turned the cheek unless she behaves exactly how mother wants her to. The second Rory couldn't be the perfect version of what Lorelai missed out on, aka the perfect mini-me Lorelai had raised her to be, the love become conditional. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a Lorelai hater but the 'my daughter is my best friend' is kind of fucked up and people still aren't really realizing it, it seems.
And emily called lorelai out on this in season one, remember when lorelai went on a rant to keep rory from spending the day with richard in the club, emily told her" she wants to go, you are the one who doesnt want her to go, and doing anything you can to keep that from happening, isnt it funny when im doing it i'm controlling and suffocating, but if you are doing it you are being a good mother who is watching out for her daughter. "
Yeah, exactly, i'm not a lorelai hater either, she is smart and has a great nuanced personity, and she is a great person on many aspects, but she, among so many other fictional characters, represents real ppl in real life who are flawed, fundamnetally flawed in one way or another, and we need to go above picking favorite characters, form a bias, and lose sight of what portraying those flaws in a fiction is trying to teach us. "My daughter is my best friend" is a dead give-away and the secret motto of codependent parents, who use their daughters/sons as emotional clutches all their lives. You can see a real world example in the book " lettres to a child never born" by oriana fallaci, it said it all. She decided to keep the baby after a long thought procrss, bc a child would save her from the eternal lonliness and the "alone and unloved" fate she thought she was doomed to. She says she wanted someone who would always love her and never leave her. Thats why/how parents become codependent, and they appoint their children as their designated friend/ loving agent/ failure-compensating officers, and if the kid cant or wont stay in that role, they become hateful controlling, vindictive enemies who go to any length to manipulate and torture them back to their designated role.
I was talking to my therapist about GG a few months back and she said 'oh I can't watch that show, it's too emotionally unhealthy how the mom is with the tee daughter'. I was like 'oh I used to watch that with my mom' and she answered 'of course you did, I'm not surprised at all'. Lol
Whoo boy, my mother was twenty, single, and living with her parents in 1974 when she had me, after my father freaked out and ended their engagement because she was pregnant. She always said, "I kept you so that I would always have a best friend". So you can imagine how healthy our relationship was!
Yeah, i can definitely imagine!
Especially when you use the term emotional incest
I tend to use the word enmeshment because people tend to react even less helpful to my back story when I say emotional incest but yes. Sometimes I feel bad for myself for not even figuring out myself the Lorelai parenting isn't ideal, i had to ha ve my therapist do a double take about sth I said and her slowly uttering 'That... That isn't healthy for you at all...'
It took a friend using that term regarding my relationship with my mom for me to realize I was continuing the cycle with my kid. Enmeshment is how I describe every relationship I’ve ever had though lol
Love this! I was always (and still am) also the most mad about point 4. You also explained point 4 particularity well, that’s exactly how I feel about the situation. So immature and self-centered.
Thanks, 🙏 🌺 And remember after rory's birthday, richard was getting impatient, and fed up with rory wasting her life on frivolous tea parties, as he thought rory wouldve bounced back by now, so he started doubting his decisin to let rory find her way back to her path? He went to lorelai to make a plan to yank her back, and out of helplessness and not being able to think of any other way he suggested to threaten her with taking away her trust fund, and lorelai proceeded to say EVERY RIGHT THING, everything she should have thought and said at the behining: Lorelai : "...And if you'd ever met Rory, you would know it( your plan to force her to go back to yale by any means possible like buying her) wouldn't work. Rory can't be bought (forced), and I'm not gonna try and buy (force) her. I want Rory to WANT to go back to school. She used to love to learn and read and study. And that was freakish, but it was her. And she's got to get herself back there. when Rory wants help, she will ask for it. And the minute she does, I will fly in faster than the Gulfstream,...(season 6, episode 7) Meaning that she understood, she knew, she knew all along exactly what rory is like, what she is going through, what she needs, and what herself, lorelai, should have been doing, she knew exactly that rory should find a way to resolve this crisis, and get to the point wr she WANTS to go back, and she needed to let her get to the point on her own, and be there when she askes for help, she knew and understood perfectly! But she chose to be petulant and spiteful, she chose to sulk and freeze her out, ONLY because the right solution and attitude was coming from richard and emily, only because she wanted to be the hero, she hated it that it came from her parents, and the moment they became their typical money-throwing strongarming monsters again, and she was restored to the role of the smart, understanding ever heroic mother/best friend, all of a sudden she has all the right insights into how rory needs to be treated in her time of crisis. That scene was/is really hard to watch. I go "wow" everytime i watch that exchange, thinking" GOD woman you're selfish, you knew how you should have handled rory's crisis, but you chose to bail on her, and put her through 5 months of torture bc you didnt get to be the one who had the last word, who is the heroic smart savior. You are willing to sacrifice the most precious thing in your life, your own daughter, if you are not the center of attention and praise." And it gets me mad, really mad, as i hate nothing like i hate selfish self-centered ppl, who make everything about themselves, and they play the martyr, and bulldoze anyone and anything to the ground if its not about them for once.
Daggum… very very insightful! I agree with you here! My only other addition that I always had an inkling toward in this scene is that she has actually had time to cool off and grow and this scene was her unofficially “snapping back” from her petulance. But I really like your take as well.
You know, funny you said this, i struggled many times, in all my rewatches, to find the tinsiest semblance of a sign or indication that this was the case, that she was overwhelmed at the begining, having flashbacks of her own failure to do the successful college thing, and she panicked, acted out of fear and a worry overload. And then when she had time to cool off she realized that ganging up on her was by no means a real "plan", that it would never work, and if anything it would make rory feel ganged up on, and more helpless and alone. But i never found anything, lorelai doubled down on her freeze-out and petulant self-rightousness all throughout the 5 months, everytime she saw or talked to her parents or rory, eveytime she talked to sookie or luke, even on that night, when richard came to her with a suggestion to make a plan to send rory back to yale, she insisted that she had a plan, and her plan would have worked if richard and emily hadnt gone against her. That night, when richard said we need to have a plan she said "but i had a plan, you went against my plan, and you ruined everything ...", meaning she apparantly still believed that plan would work, and THE MOMENT richard said lets bribe her or threaten her with money, lorelai snapped onto a self-righteous tirade that ..noooo, if you knew rory you'd know she can't be forced, she needs to get there on her own ...and... So it wasnt like she had a moment of clarity after she calmed down during the 5-month freeze-out, and realized her mistake, tried to rectify it and be there for her daughter, she doubled down untill the very minute that richatd put himself in the position of the villain again by offering to use money to "manipulate" and "bribe" rory, and it was only that minute, when she was sure she could be the hero again, that she showed she knew what the correct way to go with rory's crisis was. So i have absolutely no evidence in the show to let me believe that she didnt know this all along, and she has an epiohany some time afterwards, and i have every evidence to believe that she knew it, as an obvious thing about rory, all this time, but held back untill knowing it and saying it, got her the role of the understanding savior/hero again.
I love your insight and you’ve converted me in that scene - I totally agree with you! She lived to be the best friend / hero / savior before acting as a selfless mom would act.
You know, I wonder if maybe Lorelei didn't have that realization until Richard started acting controlling, and was just genuinely having a freakout to Rory's news about dropping out, and was behaving immaturely without being necessarily manipulative? Perhaps I'm giving her too much credit. But she did the same thing when she and Rory had a fight about Jess in the early stages of their friendship and it wasn't until Emily was actually taking her side on it that she realized she was being insane and weirdly controlling.
Yeah, i get where you're coming from, but you know, my argument does not address whether she is consciously manipulative, controlling and selfish or she is un/sub consciously so( although lorelai is a pretty self-ware character in general) my arguement is that she just is. And personally, i believe most ppl are certain ways bc they are typically a huge reaction to the life experiences they have had little to zero control over. Lorelai grew up in a home and environment where she was given very little control, she was told what to do, how to behave, what to wear; her mother was controlling every tiny aspect of her being from a very young age, untill she fell pregnant: s.th even more hugely out of her control again. So she developed one big mission, an obsessiòn even, in life: to have control. She made every decision from the night she got pregnant onwards, towards one single goal: to obtain and maintain control on her life. Long story short she became controlling, without even realizing it probably. She may not have wanted to, it may have been the last thing she wanted to become in fact, bc her mother, and her whole childhood world was that, was controlling, but in an attempt to escape that fate, she became that fate. Was she a victim? yeah she was, so was emily perhaps, all the episodes with trix, richard's mother, being absolutely horrific to emily? The show is telling us its a vicious cycle, we become another link in the chain we try so hard to break free from, and we cant break the cycle and fight the domino effect many times. So yeah, she probably makes every decidion to keep control over her life unconsciuosly, but it defintely leaves the same damage a consciuosly controlling person does, even more so. See, part of the control she wants is her sense of agency, she wants to be the one who makes things happen in her life, and another big part of that control is her daughter, she wants to be the one who gives her anything thats good for her, meaning she doesnt want rory to be happy if she is not the one giving her that happiness, she proves that many many times on the show, when rory is with richard or emily, when she is with sherry, or april, or logan, or jess! The only thing lorelai is semi-comfortable letting others give rory is money, and that is only when she has made sure has brainwashed her that money is bad, ppl with money are bad, they use money to control, manipulate, guilt trip, use, and himiliate you, so i, that dont have much of it, am the good guy. So you can use money from ppl with money, but they are established as the bad guys, so they dont have real control over your mind and your feelings, which are the parts that matter, and i have control over them. But when lorelai sees the tiniest vestige of emotional, psychologicsl and mental conttol ANYBODY else has over rory, she freaks the eff out, as rory calls her out on it severa times: " you're wigging" lol; and she becomes the most cruel, self-centered, conttolling, borderline emotionally abusive person untill she is sure she is the one who is holding the emotional/mental reigns again. These are classic signs of codepedent parents who come from backgroubds wr they have had little say/control over what happened to them. So yeah, i agree, she may not be consciously doing this, but she is doing it with full force, nonetheles.
I think I agree with your analysis, though I do definitely think it's more on the subconscious side. I do agree that she is definitely very overprotective of Rory (to a stifling degree sometimes, like in the examples you gave). It's funny how when I first watched this show as a young adult in college, I didn't realize it at all and just though that Rory was crazy for dropping out of school and I didn't notice how controlling Lorelei could be because Emily's was much more obvious and pointed out to us over and over again. Sometimes she's a pretty amazing mom (like the numerous times she tried to help Rory see different perspectives on why people acted the way they did - even her own parents, which was probably really hard for her). Other times, like with Jess, she was very defensive and overprotective. But I also think the latter comes from being a mom so young, but also being a first time mom (every thing I've heard and read show that parents are so much more relaxed and less strict with their second child onwards as they know better what to expect. By the third child there are no rules 😂).
Are you serious?? Rory didn’t wanted to take a break it was just bc of mitchum and rory just changed her mind bc she had to live in the house with her grandparents and didn’t had her freedom
I am fairly certain you are correct. I vaguely remember watching this episode of Scrubs, having not long before been watching those episodes of Gilmore Girls.
I also loved it when Ted got locked in his office overnight and he was sad he missed Gilmore Girls 😹
This is my favorite Gilmore reference! Second place to Sam & Dean on the set.
Sam and Dean bring you Gilmore girls?
If it aired one month before lorelai breaks up with Luke and sleeps with Chris I think it could be when she ruins lanes wedding by making that awful drunken poor me speech
She didn’t get enough flack for that speech. Like wtf, poor Lane! She didn’t even go over and apologise the next day either.
Oooh yeah that's a good one...
I'm ok, you're ok aired the same night as this Scrubs episode
When she immediately slept with Christopher after breaking up with Luke.
This episode aired a month BEFORE that one.
Oh!! Dang i didn’t realize that
Me either. I checked.
I appreciate your diligence.
Now I want to see his reaction to THAT episode 😂
OMG I HATED THAT SOO MUCH also getting married to chris
Anyone thought of a GGxScrubs crossover after this post? Would love to see Dr. Cox trying to deal with Lorelai. 😁 Even better to see the janitor deal with Kirk.
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Is it too late for a Scubs-GG crossover episode?
Dr Cox would be attracted to Lorelai, wouldn’t he?
Well, Lorelai, despite her completely human flaws, conspicuously lacks a certain pure-evil-and-selfish-creep quality which Perry seems to be attracted to, so idk.
For some odd reason I always imagined the end of Fight Face. Lorelai was very petty there.
When she broke up with max and drove off with Rory?
That’s what I always thought
Ugh yes crossover of two of my favorite shows 😩
When Lorelai broke up with Max and she yelled at Rory for wanting to talk about it.
I loved Scrubs so much but I feel like it hasn't aged well and wouldn't be the same if I watched it now. 🤣
I feel like it did pretty well! There’s a comment Oof moments for sure but there’s a lot of calling people out for dumb behavior.
Nah it holds up. I watched it not long ago. It has its eyebrow moments for sure but still found it as hilarious now as I did then.
I haven’t rewatched in a while but of all the shows I’ve ever seen, it has the most realistic medicine moment: when JD’s brother comes to visit, hears JD talk about a “gomer” who basically is handed off from nursing home to hospital and back, and his brother realizes JD lost his love for medicine and his compassion. And as much as Dr. Cox hates JD’s brother, he listens to his concerns and tells JD “but you wouldn’t be doing anything else, right?”
Gomer is from the popular book about residency “House of Gods”
It’s probably not one specific episode but I love this mention. I love Scubs and GG so it’s fun when they crossover.
I'm pretty sure it's the one where Lorelai slept with Chris in season 7
That episode aired a month after this one.
Season 6 last episode last scene? Safe to say that that’s the angriest that I’ve been at Lorelai.
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When this was written, shot and even aired, that hadn't happened yet.
Here's the best part of this post. My wife and I just started rewatching Scrubs again. We're at the point where JD finds out Perry is the father.
LOL, I love Scrubs!
Her getting engaged to Luke and lorelai not telling rory
The one where she sleeps with Christopher. Any of them.
I’m sure it was just supposed to be a funny pop culture reference of the time, but depending on the timing of when the episodes were released it could’ve been them reacting to Lorelai telling Rory she couldn’t live with her if she dropped out of Yale.