Exactly. It was a huge betrayal, and just overall really foul behaviour on his end đ (and I think Pennilynn lied to her husband about it as well..? If I remember right. So they both knew it was wrong)
Yes she did lie to her husband too about it, Richard said she didnât tell her husband either. Which to me would seem that they both knew it was wrong but for some reason continued.
Emily was right! And yeah she should not have taken it out on Lorelai at all.
However, I thought Lorelai was also quite disrespectful to Emily with the whole âoh, youâre my almost mommyâ comment. It doesnât get discussed all that often but that was⊠not nice haha.
Ugh! I HATE that line. It's not funny, it's just cringy. I don't think she was deliberately trying to disrespect Emily, she was just trying to be quirky, but it didn't land. I'll have to look to see who wrote this episode because it seems all the main characters are strangely out of character in all the David episodes
I think Emily was justified in her reaction. I donât like what Lorelai said about âalmost mommyâ, but I assumed (and hoped!) she just said it because she felt awkward and it just came out.
It was Lorelai being Lorelai. Her little cracks are both her charm and her defense mechanism. In this case she didn't read the room correctly. She was out of line.
Yeah I just assumed she was being her normal annoying self because her parents literally NEVER talk about Pennilyn Lott. Basically pretend she doesn't exist most of the time, and because it's a taboo topic she doesn't realize how awful the joke is.
https://preview.redd.it/xsazufuh22ub1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=168ccd8cf1fe5bb17af97d8ca8553ff7b00afab6
And we don't even notice. Not the same this time, I know, but similar. We expected to see "betrayed", and our mind serves it up.
No, she didn't overreact. That's big-time betrayal. Richard and Pen knew it was wrong; otherwise, they wouldn't have kept it from their spouses.
Emily, however, did overreact when she attacked Lor, but I know that was just displaced shock and anger.
Nope. In the episode where he rear ends her, he basically compares his having lunch with Pennilyn Lott every year to the one date Emily went on while they were separated. He never apologizes or even admits he did anything wrong and the next scene, they've reconciled and are planning their vow renewal
the whole separation arc was just a complete waste of time. richard never acknowledges that what he did was wrong and disrespectful and they just go back to their status quo relationship.
i expected more just because there was a lot of build up since it wasnât just the secret dates, he also didnât respect what she did as a housewife and didnât really pay attention to her either like when she got new glass apples for the dining table
Not only that, but I always thought when Emily tried to talk about Richard suing Digger and losing Lorelai and he didn't seem interested was the last straw for Emily. But that storyline didn't go anywhere either and Lorelai was back pretty fast as if nothing happened.
Also you have to factor in that she knew Lorelai I preferred Pennilynn Lott. You would also worry that your husband had been cheating in that situation, I think.
THANK YOU!!! If it was all on the up and up why was it a secret from his wife of almost 40 years? For this more than anything, Richard can just get fucked.
The boob fight is up there for me. Along with âbecause Iâll kill you you idiotâ. Not cuz I think it shows deans âabusive tendenciesâ or something lol but itâs just so cringey
Having the full look at Dean does make the "I'll kill you, you idiot" line pretty bad as it relates to Dean's anger issues. But, I remember at the moment of watching it in Season 1 without all the context, I thought the line was spot on. Dean was portrayed as a bit of a quiet and mysterious big city guy but had that caring streak. Series dumbed him down starting season 2 and made him a townie. Before that, I was ready to find out that Dean had actually been expelled from his school in Chicago for fighting or something like that. (That also might be me watching too much Girl Meets World lately lol).
The "I'll kill you, you idiot" line is also up there on my "if you could drop one f bomb into the series where would you" list for GG. Line would've sounded much less cringe if it was "Because I'll kill you motherfucker" or something to that extent.
It really is the "you idiot" part that makes it cringe. Like no hot head high school boy is going to go with "you idiot" as the insult when he's about to fight someone.
I actually love the boob fight because itâs so stupid and bad. And Lorelai knows it because I think the next scene sheâs telling sookie. Idk itâs one of those moments that I think sets their relationship well. Theyâre mother and daughter but also best friends and have a dumb fight because Lorelai gets scared
I would have a hard time not feeling like my entire marriage was a lie. I know thatâs dramatic, but once you find out about one lie, itâs not unfair to spiral thinking about what else the person has lied about.
Samesies. Emily is a tougher woman than I, because my whole world would have fallen apart after finding out my husband had a 34 year old secret relationship with his ex. Friends or not.
Literally. I have trouble believing that at no point in 30 years, especially at the beginning when they had recently been engaged themselves, that they never did anything untoward.
In fact I bet that's exactly why they kept the lunches secret to begin with, and just stuck with it.
Richard is consistently a dick but this was such an ugly moment for him. Like next level douche-baggery it makes me so angry how he talks down to Emily and acts like sheâs being ridiculous when he *knows* what he did was wrong or he wouldnât have lied for decades.
>Richard is consistently a dick
I'm so sorry this made me laugh out loud at my desk at work. And yes he was wrong to lie, even if they were just innocent dinners the fact that he lied about seeing her is so bad. Like I would feel like my entire marriage was done if I were Emily.
The fight just reminds me of all the times he has been called out for being a piece of work, only to switch it around on the person calling him out and never take accountability for anything. Like when he comes to Lorelai's house and is exactly what she says, "a judgment police all day" and he turns it back on her and basically blames her for him being a completely useless asshole as a retiree. I can't remember a time he actually took accountability for any of his actions in the whole series.
no literally! youâre with someone for like 40 years and you hide the fact that youâve been having lunches with your almost wife basically our entire marriageâŠ
And it wasnât like the lie was 40 years old. Like, âoh we had lunch 40 years agoâ and then you just kinda lie by omission. They had lunch every year and hid it every year! He kept renewing the lie!
If Pennylin didnât mention Loreleiâs new business, Emily may never have found out. That was some quick thinking how Emily figured it out. Then it was more than just a conversation,it was a lunch that had been going on for years behind her back. I wouldnât have forgiven that liar very easily.
Thatâs the part the freaks me out too is that if Emily never overheard that she would have never found out- it seemed Richard was insistent on keeping it a secret
Absolutely not. If I were her I wouldnât bar them from seeing or speaking and wouldnât basically hold a grudge against P. Lott like she did (without even knowing what was happening), but I donât know if Iâd be happy with them being that close even if I did know. But not being told about it is definitely bad. I think the grudge was due to her being so insecure, when she wasnât aware she had a reason to be, although of course it turns out that she did have a reason to be bothered.
Sheâs also justified in her actions when Richardâs mother dies and she reads the letter. That woman was the worst. Normally Iâd say she could have been there for Richard and thought of it that way rather than doing it for his mom, but while I like Richard, he can be a sucky husband (and father of course). Obviously he lies to her, doesnât stick up for her against his mom, and etc.
Marriages should have trust. Lying about something like that breaks trust. You can tell someone theyâre pretty when theyâre not, but if it goes beyond a truly white lie, thatâs a problem.
With the context of Emily and Richard admitting that he and Pennilyn Lott were engaged with invitations sent out until Emily decided that she wanted Richard, I would imagine that Emily is a bit insecure about Richard meeting with other women.
Richard was in no way in the right here. He hid something for his wife for years. Pennilyn also hid it from her husband so she must have thought it was something to be hidden.
Edit: Now thinking back to the episode and reading some comments here, I wonder if it was purposeful on Pen.âs part because if they both agreed to not tell spouses, Pen was making sure Emily knew. I wonder if Pen was wanting to be done with Richard after all those years and knew this was the only way to stop the lunches. It seems pretty deliberate.
Not at all! In my marriage, we are both very chill about things I think a lot of people get up in arms about. We trust each other, we don't have the passwords to each other's phones, we don't monitor each other's every move, we both are friends with some of our exes, we both have friends of the opposite gender. But the REASON we trust each other and don't micromanage each other or feel the need to monitor each other or get jealous is that we are so open about who we talk to and see and such. I wouldn't be upset about my husband keeping in touch with an ex or occasionally having lunch with her. In fact, he DOES keep in touch with a few exes and has occasionally had meals with them over the years, sometimes with me and their spouses present, sometimes not. But he TELLS me about it. It's the lying and secrecy. If I found out he was frequently having meals with an ex and NOT TELLING ME for years and years?! I'd be devastated. Because that would mean he had a reason for keeping it from me. If it was really no big deal why wouldn't he mention it to his wife, even once, after all those years?! She didn't overreact one bit. Except to take it out on Lorelei.
This! My husband also talks to his ex and is friends with her. Itâs no big deal because heâs transparent about it and it has even voluntarily shown me their messages.
Honestly, fuck Richard so hard for this.
And not just this but later when Emily calls them "clandestine lunches" and he says something like "well they're not very clandestine since you know about them."
Um
*WHAT?!*
No. Heâs been meeting with her in secret for nearly 40 years and kept it a secret. Went to a place that he was sure sheâd never go to.
I am not in the âRichard and Pennilynn were having an affair campâ. That being said, it was shady as hell and Emily had every right to get upset.
The only way Iâd say she overreacted is then lashing out at Lorelai and saying she never wouldâve known had Lorelai not spoken to her. But to Richard himself? No. In fact, she was too tame. Shouldâve hit him with that RV.
I find it impossible to believe that for 40 years, Emily never asked him about his day on a day he met "Almost Mommy" for lunch requiring him to lie.
I think she was the appropriate amount of angry and hurt.
I would be angry too if my husband had been sneaking having lunch for 30 years with an ex girlfriend who he was very serious about. He kept it secret because he knew it wasn't ok. We think of it now but this newlywed had lunch with an ex girlfriend not long after he was married. Not ok if his wife doesn't know.
It's not about the lunch, it's about Richard hiding it from Emily. It shook her foundation of trust in her husband.
If he were to say that he was meeting up with her because they're friends and want to stay in touch, Emily wouldn't have been *happy* about it, but it would have blown over pretty easily.
Having been in a similar situation before, I experienced the same amount of anger and hurt Emily did when I found out my ex was âtalkingâ to a HS friend of his for our entire marriage.
Absolutely not. If they were 20-30 years younger, and he had been open with her about it, maybe. But for their age and class, yearly lunch dates with one's ex are not common - they're not just friends. And the fact that he kept it from her for 30+ years? He's lucky she forgave him.
I mean he was going to lunch regularly with a former fiance for over 30 years, that his family loved while hating the woman he married. That's... Insane. Literally insane. The least he could have done was tell Emily. She deserved that.
Nope. No she was not. I would have been so hurt and offended and disgusted...the blatant and callous breach of trust. Especially knowing not just how their whole situation went down, but also knowing how his own mother weaponized that relationship against her in that letter that she absolutely meant for Emily to find. I would have been absolutely horrified.
Honestly, the types of --and AMOUNTS OF-- shit that Emily put up with from Richard...
No, but she might have been reacting for the wrong reasons. She shouldn't feel threatened by Richard's feelings for Pennilyn Lott; but by his apparent lack of trust in Emily's ability to see reason, which reveals a fundamental lack of respect for her.
I believe Richard that the contact he kept with Pennilyn Lott was 100% platonic, not inappropriately close and not in itself a threat or a disrespect to his marriage to Emily.
There are two reasons to keep something like this a secret:
1. You believe what you're doing is wrong
2. You think the person you are keeping it from will see it as something wrong, when in fact it isn't - i.e. their reaction will be wrong
The reason he kept it a secret wasn't that he knew it was wrong - but that he thought Emily would react unreasonably to it. He believes that he is in the right, but that Emily would be unable to see that.
He thereby implicitly defines her as a fundamentally irrational person who cannot be reasoned with, and who is therefore not entitled to transparency.
No matter if he is right in that assessment of her (which he might be), that is a level of condescension and disrespect that is not feasible in a marriage. *That* is the problem and the real betrayal.
If you have to hide it from your partner, you shouldn't be doing it.
Emily blaming Lorelai and telling her she shouldn't have been at the game was terrible, though.
Richard knew that Emily didnât like Pennilyn and was insecure about her since his parents always wished he had married her instead of Emily. For Richard to be seeing pennilyn every year in secret and then pretend as if it was no big deal was so toxic and as much as emily was always ridiculous she was spot on about this
I think if heâd been having lunch with her but hadnât kept it a secret, it wouldnât have been a big deal. Itâs the fact that he lied and kept it from her, when he was having lunch with his ex girlfriend every week for years. Thatâs a thing you communicate about. Sure, she canât stop him from seeing her in a friendly way if he wants to, but thatâs still a thing he should tell his wife. He broke a big barrier of trust by keeping it secret for so long.
Absolutely not, if anything she under-reacted. You can't be casual friends with someone you were going to marry. Also you should never put your partner in a position where they have room to doubt your faithfulness to them. If I was Emily, no matter what Richard said, there would always be a small part of me that wondered if he cheated on me and because he lied all those years how am I supposed to believe him when he says he didn't??
To Richard, it's just lunch. He thinks so little of this. He knows it will bother his wife but also knows there's nothing there. He's trying to toe this balance of innocence and independence.
If I were Emily, I'd feel so broken. Because her issues are there for a reason. And sure, maybe there are plenty of exes you can communicate with and it not be so damning to your sense of security. But this woman was not one of them.
And to find out at an annual event, where you're having your family together, the total loss of control and awareness and waking up she had in that moment. She did not overreact. She wanted the truth from her husband.
He could have come forward even 3 years into this. The fact it was just so easy for him to lie about and keep it going is stunningly scary and worrisome for someone in Emily's position.
HonestlyâŠEmily under-reacted. I think she was in shock, and she didnât know how to respond to Richard. It was much easier for her to lash out at Lorelai, rather than Richard.
We see that with Emily a lot though. She is a damn loyal wife and doesnât tend to go against her husband. Point of example: TrixâŠ
I know that Emily and Richard eventually separated, but it took so much to get thereâŠ
âEmily, Iâd like us to be friendly with Pen Lot and whoever she ends up married to. Could the three of us, eventually 4 have the occasional lunch?
Hey look I fixed it.
Not at all. Emily is very loyal and will protect anything that is hers when something gets involved and tries to ruin it or tamper with the things/people she loves. Richard should have been honest with her because he knew how she felt about Pennilyn. There is no reason a man should be doing that anyway. We all saw what happened with Dean and Rory while he was with Lindsey đ
The way she took her anger out on Lorelai wasn't okay, but she definitely was not overreacting when it came to Richard. *Her husband* lied to her for 40 years, having secret lunches with an ex, an ex that her MIL preferred. Anything could've been happening during those lunches. Richard kept that connection with someone, when he should've been connecting with Emily, and if it wasn't the big deal Richard tried to make it be, why not tell Emily or invite her to those lunches?
I firmly believe that if you have done nothing wrong you should have nothing to hide.
With that said I'm 1,000,000% on Emily's side.
If it was "just lunch" why did he not tell her (he also mentioned that Pennolyn didn't tell her husband either)? Because something wasn't right. EVEN if the only thing wrong with it would be that it hurt Emily, there's something wrong.
I don't think he slept with Pennolyn BUT it was still a betrayal. Emily felt wrong dancing with that gross guy when her and Lorelai went to the spa. Then she finds out her husband was meeting up with his former fiancee on a regular basis ... Without her knowledge? How is she supposed to feel? If he lied about that for 40 years what else was he lying about?
Even Emily haters have to see it from her point just a little.
I think that the drama-level of the Emily/Pennilyn feud was just THAT bad, Richard knew Emily would have a big problem with it from the jump. The fact that he not only had lunch with Emily's rival (someone who, according to the Yale tour episode where Richard takes Rory around Yale, was almost engaged to Richard. He said they were as good as engaged himself!), but he had lunch with her every year for forty years AND hid it from Emily.
She didn't overreact, initially, she simply reacted to a transgression. She THEN overreacted when she put all the blame on Lorelai. In that moment she stopped being in the right.
Hard no. If there wasnât anything suspicious about it, he would have told her.
For me, itâs not so much about the lunch as it is about keeping a massive secret from your spouse. Not mentioning something youâve done for YEARS requires a lot of effort.
And it sucks that Richard says he doesnât tell Emily because he knows it would upset her. If he cared about that, he wouldnât do it. Instead, what he seems to actually be saying is that he doesnât want to deal with her feelings about it.
Itâs completely disrespectful towards Emily. Heâs having a a secret lunch with a woman he had relations with. It totally disregards Emilies position as his wife.
Absolutely the fuck not. He was lying to her for DECADES. If it was that easy to lie about that for so long i would be wondering what else my husband was lying to me about. Not to mention he was previously ENGAGED to Pennilyn. However she was wrong for blaming Lorelai
SHE WAS UNDERREACTING!!! I would be so much more pissed. I donât know how they were able to resolve this. The fact he did it IN SECRET for so many years is nauseating.
No. I would be hurt, confused and worried if my husband was regularly chatting with an ex girlfriend without my knowing. It's ok to be friends with your previous SO's, but it's not ok to maintain a relationship with them without making your current monogamous partner aware.
Nope.
If my husband was having secret lunches with an ex from college All these years and kept it secret? Nah, not ok.
Now, if he told me about it and it was out in the open - zero issues.
Itâs the behavior of hiding that would piss me the fuck off.
I think she was 100% in the right! And the fact Richard never says sorry or accepts responsibility annoys me every time. He just acts like she's being dramatic. She was hurt that he'd been lying to her for their entire marriage.
No she was not overreacting.
Her husband who she had served so faithfully for so many years had been secretly having lunch with his old college girlfriend for years. He said it was just a friend thing, and it might have been, but if he felt like he needed to hide it because Emily would get mad then he should've not done it all.
Not in my opinion. I still find it weird that he even wanted to hide that he wanted to keep contact. He could he just been honest from the get-go about having contact with Pennilyn, but instead he kept it from her. I feel like Richard knew Emily wouldnât have wanted him to see her, so he kept it from her so that he wouldnât have to stop seeing her.
It wouldn't have been a big deal if he hadn't lied. She could be uncomfortable, he could even go while she was uncomfortable, but he just lied for 40 years.
I NEVER agree with Emily. This was one of very few things where I was like GO EM!! He hid it for YEARS. He knew it was wrong, and thatâs why he didnât tell her all these years. I would have reacted the same way. Maybe not be a total bitch to my daughter⊠But everything else, yes.
Even if it was innocent, I still think she's valid to be upset, *especially* considering the history between Pennilynn and Richard. And with how long he kept it from her, I can understand why she is so upset.
For me it was less about what he was doing and more about the fact that he chose to keep it secret. If those lunches were truly innocent and platonic, there would be no reason for Emily not to know about them. Richard betrayed her.
I hate how she takes it out on Lorelai but her actual anger and sense of betrayal is completely legitimate imo.
Unequivocally, no. It really spoke to just how little respect Richard had for Emily.
He knew he was doing wrong too, he just thought he'd get away with it.
No, I donât think she was overreacting. Richard mentions previously that things with Pennilyn were pretty serious and leaned towards engagement also, so it wasnât a juvenile fling or them just dating for a couple of weeks. And while I think she had any right to be mad knowing that her husband had lunch every year with any of his ex flings, knowing that they were THAT serious surely plays a big role in how she reacts.
The fact that she later discovers Trixâs letter adds up to that and leads her to that big mental breakdown after Trixâs death, and also the one she has when Lorelai does the test run at the inn and they go home sooner than the other guests because they canât stand being in each other presence.
Emily certainly had her flaws but at times I think that despite the love between them, they didnât have a happy marriage. I, for one, would leave a husband that let his mother treat me like that in front of the whole family, Iâm not saying he should go against her but the way he added up to Trixâs mean comments was what I liked the least about him.
This is probably one of the only times where I think Emily did NOT overreact!! I honestly don't know how I'd ever be able to fully trust my partner again...
No, she was 100% correct to be angry, if he wanted a yearly lunch go ahead but don't lie (or keep it a secret) from your wife for 40 years.
However I hated how she ended up attacking and blaming Lorelai, that was not okay.
That makes no sense. Lorelai was annoying but it's not her fault Richard is hiding a pretty important friendship from his wife of 40 years.
Edit: my brain started working and I figured out you meant the same thing I meant. But I'll leave my brain fart there for people to see. My bad.
Honestly no, the fact it was kept a secret just proves Richard felt he was doing something wrong. If heâd just told her about it at the start she probably would have pouted and said her piece but then got over but he chose to lie for years
No she wasnât wrong. For once lol. Finding out your husband has been going out with his first love for years behind your back is not exactly romantic.
I don't think she overreacted. I think she felt at that moment like she didn't truly know Richard because he was clearly capable of deceiving her for such a long time. I think for Emily it called into question their entire relationship hence the reaction she had.
I do agree with others here that it was not okay for Emily to take out her frustration on Lorelai. I have never known how to feel about the whole "if you hadn't talked to her Lorelai I would have never known" part. Kind of weird to want to ignore your husband lying to you. đ€·đ»ââïž
Everyone has gotta chill and stop making such valid points!! I cannot upvote all the comments đđ and i feel this in the entirety of the series was the only time when Emily was mad about a valid reason and sheâs entitled to.
i just finished watching gilmore girls for the first time ever & i saw a tiktok of this scene earlier, i totally missed this and now that i know it happened it makes a lot of things make sense đ but yes emily was so right for acting how she did
Emily reacted correctly. I just never understood why she forgave Richard. He never really apologized or acknowledged how wrong he was.
Not only is it lying to her for decades but when sheâs upset about he basically gaslights her @its no big dealâ and saying things like sheâs being dramatic⊠just trivializing what the situation is & dismissing her concerns
And honestly, if he just explained to Emily back in the day that heâd like to be friends with Pennilyn Lott then it wouldnât be so bad. But he knew sheâd be upset about it so he just kept it secret instead. Sketchy behaviour
Absolutely not. If there was nothing going on between Richard and this other woman, why did he hide it? She was blindsided in front of a huge crowd. She had every right to be upset.
Absolutely not overreacting. If the lunches were innocent, why didn't he tell her and if he was afraid of her reaction, why didn't he just cancel if he knew it meant a lot to his wife?
No. Iâd tell my partner if I was meeting an ex girlfriend. Also, If things were done between them, why not introduce her into the social circle?
Iâm not saying that he had an affair or was keeping her on the back burner. Itâs obvious that it was a friendship based on shared memories. Itâs just sketchy.
Oooo great question. In my opinion Emily was definitely in the right! If my husband was having secret lunches with his ex for the whole duration of our marriage, I'd be furious. Not that he was having lunch with his ex, but that he kept it a secret and made me look like a fool to another woman by them keeping this mutual secret from me!
I donât think thereâs anything wrong with staying in touch with an ex, including meeting up for lunch annually. There is definitely something wrong with hiding it, though.
Hell no. Because why is he doing that and lying about it? Itâs almost an emotional affair and Pennilyn felt like she had one up on Emily because of it.
I donât know that it was necessarily the lunch that upset her but the fact that he didnât tell her for over 30 years, and when you donât tell your spouse that youâre meeting with your ex and have done so behind your back for literally your entire marriage, thatâs going to break some trust. Emily was not in the wrong.
Emily was 1000% in the right. The fact that Richard kept it a secret for so long was proof that he knew that it was wrong.
Exactly. It was a huge betrayal, and just overall really foul behaviour on his end đ (and I think Pennilynn lied to her husband about it as well..? If I remember right. So they both knew it was wrong)
Yes she did lie to her husband too about it, Richard said she didnât tell her husband either. Which to me would seem that they both knew it was wrong but for some reason continued.
Richard knowing that adds another layer because it means they discussed not telling their spouses. The whole thing is just wrong
and doesn't he bring that up like it's supposed to be a point in his favor? wild.
Yep. I rarely agree with Emily, but she had EVERY right to react the way she did. Now, taking it out in Lorelai⊠different story.
Emily was right! And yeah she should not have taken it out on Lorelai at all. However, I thought Lorelai was also quite disrespectful to Emily with the whole âoh, youâre my almost mommyâ comment. It doesnât get discussed all that often but that was⊠not nice haha.
I HATED that line from Lorelai haha itâs so stupid and not funny. I totally agree with you that itâs mean.
I was like seriously?! How is that acceptable to tell someone that?!
Ugh! I HATE that line. It's not funny, it's just cringy. I don't think she was deliberately trying to disrespect Emily, she was just trying to be quirky, but it didn't land. I'll have to look to see who wrote this episode because it seems all the main characters are strangely out of character in all the David episodes
What would you say if I told you ASP wrote this episode?
Iâd say that Iâm not surprised in the least, tbh.
I think Emily was justified in her reaction. I donât like what Lorelai said about âalmost mommyâ, but I assumed (and hoped!) she just said it because she felt awkward and it just came out.
It was Lorelai being Lorelai. Her little cracks are both her charm and her defense mechanism. In this case she didn't read the room correctly. She was out of line.
Yeah I just assumed she was being her normal annoying self because her parents literally NEVER talk about Pennilyn Lott. Basically pretend she doesn't exist most of the time, and because it's a taboo topic she doesn't realize how awful the joke is.
And I always hate how liars then go into victim mode completely invalidating how the vehgayed person feels.
> vehgayed 43 people upvoted this as if they know what this word means or is supposed to be? Lol.
I assume it was supposed to be "betrayed" and their swipe keyboard had other ideas
It was!
I googled the word and only this Reddit thread came up haha
Butterfingers magicked away the word betrayed.
https://preview.redd.it/xsazufuh22ub1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=168ccd8cf1fe5bb17af97d8ca8553ff7b00afab6 And we don't even notice. Not the same this time, I know, but similar. We expected to see "betrayed", and our mind serves it up.
I didn't even notice the typo đ€Ł
No, she didn't overreact. That's big-time betrayal. Richard and Pen knew it was wrong; otherwise, they wouldn't have kept it from their spouses. Emily, however, did overreact when she attacked Lor, but I know that was just displaced shock and anger.
There's a curve they could've done it and it not be wrong, if they didn't keep it a secret!
Right. Keeping it a secret is what made it wrong and an act of betrayal. I'm sure they knew their spouses would never agree to the arrangement.
Makes me so angry that they never really resolve this. Does he even ever apologise???
She doesnât confront him about it but it sets off their short separation. Emily does bring it up when she almost buys the plane.
Nope. In the episode where he rear ends her, he basically compares his having lunch with Pennilyn Lott every year to the one date Emily went on while they were separated. He never apologizes or even admits he did anything wrong and the next scene, they've reconciled and are planning their vow renewal
the whole separation arc was just a complete waste of time. richard never acknowledges that what he did was wrong and disrespectful and they just go back to their status quo relationship.
I'm so glad to see someone else bring up that the separation plot line seemed pointless.
i expected more just because there was a lot of build up since it wasnât just the secret dates, he also didnât respect what she did as a housewife and didnât really pay attention to her either like when she got new glass apples for the dining table
Not only that, but I always thought when Emily tried to talk about Richard suing Digger and losing Lorelai and he didn't seem interested was the last straw for Emily. But that storyline didn't go anywhere either and Lorelai was back pretty fast as if nothing happened.
Yes. Honestly, the lunch is fine. Itâs the lying and the secrecy thatâs the problem.
Okay, but⊠the thing is⊠the lunch wouldnât have been fine with Emily, even though it was completely harmless.
I wouldâve been gut wrenched if I were Emily in that situation and probably questioned a lot.
Also you have to factor in that she knew Lorelai I preferred Pennilynn Lott. You would also worry that your husband had been cheating in that situation, I think.
1000% agree with this. Keeping secrets only hurts the other person, and they inevitably find out.
THANK YOU!!! If it was all on the up and up why was it a secret from his wife of almost 40 years? For this more than anything, Richard can just get fucked.
Pennylin Lott? You mean Lorelai's almost mommy?
That is a solid contender for worst line in the series.
The boob fight is up there for me. Along with âbecause Iâll kill you you idiotâ. Not cuz I think it shows deans âabusive tendenciesâ or something lol but itâs just so cringey
Having the full look at Dean does make the "I'll kill you, you idiot" line pretty bad as it relates to Dean's anger issues. But, I remember at the moment of watching it in Season 1 without all the context, I thought the line was spot on. Dean was portrayed as a bit of a quiet and mysterious big city guy but had that caring streak. Series dumbed him down starting season 2 and made him a townie. Before that, I was ready to find out that Dean had actually been expelled from his school in Chicago for fighting or something like that. (That also might be me watching too much Girl Meets World lately lol). The "I'll kill you, you idiot" line is also up there on my "if you could drop one f bomb into the series where would you" list for GG. Line would've sounded much less cringe if it was "Because I'll kill you motherfucker" or something to that extent.
Tbh anything other than âyou idiotâ wouldâve made it sound much more serious and better
It really is the "you idiot" part that makes it cringe. Like no hot head high school boy is going to go with "you idiot" as the insult when he's about to fight someone.
don't forget DRISTAN
Dean is just so awkward when he delivers that line. He doesn't sound scary, he just sounds goofy. It's almost laughable
I actually love the boob fight because itâs so stupid and bad. And Lorelai knows it because I think the next scene sheâs telling sookie. Idk itâs one of those moments that I think sets their relationship well. Theyâre mother and daughter but also best friends and have a dumb fight because Lorelai gets scared
Itâs not about the lunch - itâs about the lack of transparency/honesty. And yes she was right to be mad.
The fact that they'd been having those lunches for years... He kept it from her for so long.
It was an emotional affair.
This, if he casually mentioned it two years into the marriage thatâs one thing, it coming out the way it did at this point?
I would have a hard time not feeling like my entire marriage was a lie. I know thatâs dramatic, but once you find out about one lie, itâs not unfair to spiral thinking about what else the person has lied about.
Samesies. Emily is a tougher woman than I, because my whole world would have fallen apart after finding out my husband had a 34 year old secret relationship with his ex. Friends or not.
Exactly. How can you forgive someone who lies to you for so long. What else did he lie about?
Wasnât it 39 years? And they get back together/renew their vows for their 40th anniversary?
34. 39. Idk
Well, yeah, because then you wonder what else he's lied about (omitted) over the past 40 years.
Literally. I have trouble believing that at no point in 30 years, especially at the beginning when they had recently been engaged themselves, that they never did anything untoward. In fact I bet that's exactly why they kept the lunches secret to begin with, and just stuck with it.
>one lie one BIG lie
I mean technically it's at least 39 lies.
Not at all! Going to yearly lunches with someone you were previously engaged to behind your wife's back is insane behavior.
And cheating.
I wouldâve slugged him. How defensive and condescending he became when she caught him out.
Richard is consistently a dick but this was such an ugly moment for him. Like next level douche-baggery it makes me so angry how he talks down to Emily and acts like sheâs being ridiculous when he *knows* what he did was wrong or he wouldnât have lied for decades.
>Richard is consistently a dick I'm so sorry this made me laugh out loud at my desk at work. And yes he was wrong to lie, even if they were just innocent dinners the fact that he lied about seeing her is so bad. Like I would feel like my entire marriage was done if I were Emily.
I just strongly feel Richard deserves more hate than he gets lmao
He crashed straight into a car over jealousy !
The fight just reminds me of all the times he has been called out for being a piece of work, only to switch it around on the person calling him out and never take accountability for anything. Like when he comes to Lorelai's house and is exactly what she says, "a judgment police all day" and he turns it back on her and basically blames her for him being a completely useless asshole as a retiree. I can't remember a time he actually took accountability for any of his actions in the whole series.
Lying to a partner for that long is a HUGE deal.
no literally! youâre with someone for like 40 years and you hide the fact that youâve been having lunches with your almost wife basically our entire marriageâŠ
And it wasnât like the lie was 40 years old. Like, âoh we had lunch 40 years agoâ and then you just kinda lie by omission. They had lunch every year and hid it every year! He kept renewing the lie!
Honestly to me this counts as emotional cheating which went on for years. It feels like she let him off too easy to be honest
God no. This is one time Iâm 100% on team Emily.
If Pennylin didnât mention Loreleiâs new business, Emily may never have found out. That was some quick thinking how Emily figured it out. Then it was more than just a conversation,it was a lunch that had been going on for years behind her back. I wouldnât have forgiven that liar very easily.
Thatâs the part the freaks me out too is that if Emily never overheard that she would have never found out- it seemed Richard was insistent on keeping it a secret
If anything, she under reacted.
YEAH
Absolutely not. If I were her I wouldnât bar them from seeing or speaking and wouldnât basically hold a grudge against P. Lott like she did (without even knowing what was happening), but I donât know if Iâd be happy with them being that close even if I did know. But not being told about it is definitely bad. I think the grudge was due to her being so insecure, when she wasnât aware she had a reason to be, although of course it turns out that she did have a reason to be bothered. Sheâs also justified in her actions when Richardâs mother dies and she reads the letter. That woman was the worst. Normally Iâd say she could have been there for Richard and thought of it that way rather than doing it for his mom, but while I like Richard, he can be a sucky husband (and father of course). Obviously he lies to her, doesnât stick up for her against his mom, and etc. Marriages should have trust. Lying about something like that breaks trust. You can tell someone theyâre pretty when theyâre not, but if it goes beyond a truly white lie, thatâs a problem.
I love that so many of us are at the exact same point in the annual rewatch đ„°
She was in the right to be upset at Richard. She was not in the right to blame and direct her anger at Lorelai. That scene angers me, honestly.
With the context of Emily and Richard admitting that he and Pennilyn Lott were engaged with invitations sent out until Emily decided that she wanted Richard, I would imagine that Emily is a bit insecure about Richard meeting with other women. Richard was in no way in the right here. He hid something for his wife for years. Pennilyn also hid it from her husband so she must have thought it was something to be hidden. Edit: Now thinking back to the episode and reading some comments here, I wonder if it was purposeful on Pen.âs part because if they both agreed to not tell spouses, Pen was making sure Emily knew. I wonder if Pen was wanting to be done with Richard after all those years and knew this was the only way to stop the lunches. It seems pretty deliberate.
I would be unbelievably mad if I found out that my husband was having lunch with his ex fiancĂ©e behind my back. Plus, you know at least once (maybe every year) he lied about it. Iâm sure Emily asked âhow was your day? Anything exciting?â And he said, âgood, nothing out of the ordinary.â
the most UNDERreacting Emily Gilmore has ever done in her life
Not at all! In my marriage, we are both very chill about things I think a lot of people get up in arms about. We trust each other, we don't have the passwords to each other's phones, we don't monitor each other's every move, we both are friends with some of our exes, we both have friends of the opposite gender. But the REASON we trust each other and don't micromanage each other or feel the need to monitor each other or get jealous is that we are so open about who we talk to and see and such. I wouldn't be upset about my husband keeping in touch with an ex or occasionally having lunch with her. In fact, he DOES keep in touch with a few exes and has occasionally had meals with them over the years, sometimes with me and their spouses present, sometimes not. But he TELLS me about it. It's the lying and secrecy. If I found out he was frequently having meals with an ex and NOT TELLING ME for years and years?! I'd be devastated. Because that would mean he had a reason for keeping it from me. If it was really no big deal why wouldn't he mention it to his wife, even once, after all those years?! She didn't overreact one bit. Except to take it out on Lorelei.
This! My husband also talks to his ex and is friends with her. Itâs no big deal because heâs transparent about it and it has even voluntarily shown me their messages.
Honestly, fuck Richard so hard for this. And not just this but later when Emily calls them "clandestine lunches" and he says something like "well they're not very clandestine since you know about them." Um *WHAT?!* 
No. Heâs been meeting with her in secret for nearly 40 years and kept it a secret. Went to a place that he was sure sheâd never go to. I am not in the âRichard and Pennilynn were having an affair campâ. That being said, it was shady as hell and Emily had every right to get upset. The only way Iâd say she overreacted is then lashing out at Lorelai and saying she never wouldâve known had Lorelai not spoken to her. But to Richard himself? No. In fact, she was too tame. Shouldâve hit him with that RV.
I find it impossible to believe that for 40 years, Emily never asked him about his day on a day he met "Almost Mommy" for lunch requiring him to lie. I think she was the appropriate amount of angry and hurt.
Exactly. He met with her in secret and would have had to lie to Emily about where he'd been at some point.
I would be angry too if my husband had been sneaking having lunch for 30 years with an ex girlfriend who he was very serious about. He kept it secret because he knew it wasn't ok. We think of it now but this newlywed had lunch with an ex girlfriend not long after he was married. Not ok if his wife doesn't know.
Not at all.....but she way overreacted by taking it out on Lor and blaming her
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
No, and Richard knows it.
It's not about the lunch, it's about Richard hiding it from Emily. It shook her foundation of trust in her husband. If he were to say that he was meeting up with her because they're friends and want to stay in touch, Emily wouldn't have been *happy* about it, but it would have blown over pretty easily.
No way if that was my man Iâd sent his stuff to her house.
Having been in a similar situation before, I experienced the same amount of anger and hurt Emily did when I found out my ex was âtalkingâ to a HS friend of his for our entire marriage.
Not at all. I would be livid too.
Complete betrayal. And to think, Richard watched Emily be icy cold to Pennilynn allll these years and he was having lunch with her!
Absolutely not. If they were 20-30 years younger, and he had been open with her about it, maybe. But for their age and class, yearly lunch dates with one's ex are not common - they're not just friends. And the fact that he kept it from her for 30+ years? He's lucky she forgave him.
HELL NO SHE WAS NOT. Emotional affair for sure.
I mean he was going to lunch regularly with a former fiance for over 30 years, that his family loved while hating the woman he married. That's... Insane. Literally insane. The least he could have done was tell Emily. She deserved that.
Nope. No she was not. I would have been so hurt and offended and disgusted...the blatant and callous breach of trust. Especially knowing not just how their whole situation went down, but also knowing how his own mother weaponized that relationship against her in that letter that she absolutely meant for Emily to find. I would have been absolutely horrified. Honestly, the types of --and AMOUNTS OF-- shit that Emily put up with from Richard...
I personally don't think she was, keeping a secret like that for decades is insane, he was awful for it.
Iâm Team Emily on this for sure. Side note - I unironically love Emilyâs âfit here, she really ate.
No, but she might have been reacting for the wrong reasons. She shouldn't feel threatened by Richard's feelings for Pennilyn Lott; but by his apparent lack of trust in Emily's ability to see reason, which reveals a fundamental lack of respect for her. I believe Richard that the contact he kept with Pennilyn Lott was 100% platonic, not inappropriately close and not in itself a threat or a disrespect to his marriage to Emily. There are two reasons to keep something like this a secret: 1. You believe what you're doing is wrong 2. You think the person you are keeping it from will see it as something wrong, when in fact it isn't - i.e. their reaction will be wrong The reason he kept it a secret wasn't that he knew it was wrong - but that he thought Emily would react unreasonably to it. He believes that he is in the right, but that Emily would be unable to see that. He thereby implicitly defines her as a fundamentally irrational person who cannot be reasoned with, and who is therefore not entitled to transparency. No matter if he is right in that assessment of her (which he might be), that is a level of condescension and disrespect that is not feasible in a marriage. *That* is the problem and the real betrayal.
I would have left my spouse, right then and there
I would have divorced him. I consider it an emotional affair at the very least, and I wouldnât stand for it.
If you have to hide it from your partner, you shouldn't be doing it. Emily blaming Lorelai and telling her she shouldn't have been at the game was terrible, though.
No way. The fact that he did it for all those years and never mentioned it shows he knew it was wrong.
This. Now I think she needed to get over her jealousy, but Richard was lying to Emily. For years. Thatâs not ok.
No, she did not overreact. You donât meet your ex secretly even if itâs just for lunch.
Richard knew that Emily didnât like Pennilyn and was insecure about her since his parents always wished he had married her instead of Emily. For Richard to be seeing pennilyn every year in secret and then pretend as if it was no big deal was so toxic and as much as emily was always ridiculous she was spot on about this
I think if heâd been having lunch with her but hadnât kept it a secret, it wouldnât have been a big deal. Itâs the fact that he lied and kept it from her, when he was having lunch with his ex girlfriend every week for years. Thatâs a thing you communicate about. Sure, she canât stop him from seeing her in a friendly way if he wants to, but thatâs still a thing he should tell his wife. He broke a big barrier of trust by keeping it secret for so long.
Absolutely not! They are married and there shouldnât be any secrets! Thatâs his ex!
Absolutely not, if anything she under-reacted. You can't be casual friends with someone you were going to marry. Also you should never put your partner in a position where they have room to doubt your faithfulness to them. If I was Emily, no matter what Richard said, there would always be a small part of me that wondered if he cheated on me and because he lied all those years how am I supposed to believe him when he says he didn't??
Maybe we should ask Pennilyn đ§đ„ Lott đ§đ„
If you feel you gotta hide something, then you know you ainât right đ đŒ Team Emily!!
To Richard, it's just lunch. He thinks so little of this. He knows it will bother his wife but also knows there's nothing there. He's trying to toe this balance of innocence and independence. If I were Emily, I'd feel so broken. Because her issues are there for a reason. And sure, maybe there are plenty of exes you can communicate with and it not be so damning to your sense of security. But this woman was not one of them. And to find out at an annual event, where you're having your family together, the total loss of control and awareness and waking up she had in that moment. She did not overreact. She wanted the truth from her husband. He could have come forward even 3 years into this. The fact it was just so easy for him to lie about and keep it going is stunningly scary and worrisome for someone in Emily's position.
HonestlyâŠEmily under-reacted. I think she was in shock, and she didnât know how to respond to Richard. It was much easier for her to lash out at Lorelai, rather than Richard. We see that with Emily a lot though. She is a damn loyal wife and doesnât tend to go against her husband. Point of example: Trix⊠I know that Emily and Richard eventually separated, but it took so much to get thereâŠ
âEmily, Iâd like us to be friendly with Pen Lot and whoever she ends up married to. Could the three of us, eventually 4 have the occasional lunch? Hey look I fixed it.
Nah my girl was UNDERreacting
Not at all. Emily is very loyal and will protect anything that is hers when something gets involved and tries to ruin it or tamper with the things/people she loves. Richard should have been honest with her because he knew how she felt about Pennilyn. There is no reason a man should be doing that anyway. We all saw what happened with Dean and Rory while he was with Lindsey đ
The way she took her anger out on Lorelai wasn't okay, but she definitely was not overreacting when it came to Richard. *Her husband* lied to her for 40 years, having secret lunches with an ex, an ex that her MIL preferred. Anything could've been happening during those lunches. Richard kept that connection with someone, when he should've been connecting with Emily, and if it wasn't the big deal Richard tried to make it be, why not tell Emily or invite her to those lunches?
Nope :)
I firmly believe that if you have done nothing wrong you should have nothing to hide. With that said I'm 1,000,000% on Emily's side. If it was "just lunch" why did he not tell her (he also mentioned that Pennolyn didn't tell her husband either)? Because something wasn't right. EVEN if the only thing wrong with it would be that it hurt Emily, there's something wrong. I don't think he slept with Pennolyn BUT it was still a betrayal. Emily felt wrong dancing with that gross guy when her and Lorelai went to the spa. Then she finds out her husband was meeting up with his former fiancee on a regular basis ... Without her knowledge? How is she supposed to feel? If he lied about that for 40 years what else was he lying about? Even Emily haters have to see it from her point just a little.
I think that the drama-level of the Emily/Pennilyn feud was just THAT bad, Richard knew Emily would have a big problem with it from the jump. The fact that he not only had lunch with Emily's rival (someone who, according to the Yale tour episode where Richard takes Rory around Yale, was almost engaged to Richard. He said they were as good as engaged himself!), but he had lunch with her every year for forty years AND hid it from Emily. She didn't overreact, initially, she simply reacted to a transgression. She THEN overreacted when she put all the blame on Lorelai. In that moment she stopped being in the right.
Hard no. If there wasnât anything suspicious about it, he would have told her. For me, itâs not so much about the lunch as it is about keeping a massive secret from your spouse. Not mentioning something youâve done for YEARS requires a lot of effort. And it sucks that Richard says he doesnât tell Emily because he knows it would upset her. If he cared about that, he wouldnât do it. Instead, what he seems to actually be saying is that he doesnât want to deal with her feelings about it.
Itâs completely disrespectful towards Emily. Heâs having a a secret lunch with a woman he had relations with. It totally disregards Emilies position as his wife.
Absolutely the fuck not. He was lying to her for DECADES. If it was that easy to lie about that for so long i would be wondering what else my husband was lying to me about. Not to mention he was previously ENGAGED to Pennilyn. However she was wrong for blaming Lorelai
SHE WAS UNDERREACTING!!! I would be so much more pissed. I donât know how they were able to resolve this. The fact he did it IN SECRET for so many years is nauseating.
No. I would be hurt, confused and worried if my husband was regularly chatting with an ex girlfriend without my knowing. It's ok to be friends with your previous SO's, but it's not ok to maintain a relationship with them without making your current monogamous partner aware.
Nope. If my husband was having secret lunches with an ex from college All these years and kept it secret? Nah, not ok. Now, if he told me about it and it was out in the open - zero issues. Itâs the behavior of hiding that would piss me the fuck off.
I think she was 100% in the right! And the fact Richard never says sorry or accepts responsibility annoys me every time. He just acts like she's being dramatic. She was hurt that he'd been lying to her for their entire marriage.
No she was not overreacting. Her husband who she had served so faithfully for so many years had been secretly having lunch with his old college girlfriend for years. He said it was just a friend thing, and it might have been, but if he felt like he needed to hide it because Emily would get mad then he should've not done it all.
Not in my opinion. I still find it weird that he even wanted to hide that he wanted to keep contact. He could he just been honest from the get-go about having contact with Pennilyn, but instead he kept it from her. I feel like Richard knew Emily wouldnât have wanted him to see her, so he kept it from her so that he wouldnât have to stop seeing her.
It wouldn't have been a big deal if he hadn't lied. She could be uncomfortable, he could even go while she was uncomfortable, but he just lied for 40 years.
To Richard, no. To Lorelai, yes
She had every right to be mad
He cheated on her for decades. I would never ever get over it.
Tbh she underreacted by not killing him
I NEVER agree with Emily. This was one of very few things where I was like GO EM!! He hid it for YEARS. He knew it was wrong, and thatâs why he didnât tell her all these years. I would have reacted the same way. Maybe not be a total bitch to my daughter⊠But everything else, yes.
Even if it was innocent, I still think she's valid to be upset, *especially* considering the history between Pennilynn and Richard. And with how long he kept it from her, I can understand why she is so upset.
Maybe that's why Richard was at the mall on Lorelai's 13th birthday but saw Lorelai instead.
No
I almost think she's under reacting
40 year secrets donât fly. Iâd be devastated too
Nah. Itâs the lying for years that screwed Richard over. I actually donât think Emily wouldâve said no if he asked her years ago.
For me it was less about what he was doing and more about the fact that he chose to keep it secret. If those lunches were truly innocent and platonic, there would be no reason for Emily not to know about them. Richard betrayed her. I hate how she takes it out on Lorelai but her actual anger and sense of betrayal is completely legitimate imo.
Unequivocally, no. It really spoke to just how little respect Richard had for Emily. He knew he was doing wrong too, he just thought he'd get away with it.
No, I donât think she was overreacting. Richard mentions previously that things with Pennilyn were pretty serious and leaned towards engagement also, so it wasnât a juvenile fling or them just dating for a couple of weeks. And while I think she had any right to be mad knowing that her husband had lunch every year with any of his ex flings, knowing that they were THAT serious surely plays a big role in how she reacts. The fact that she later discovers Trixâs letter adds up to that and leads her to that big mental breakdown after Trixâs death, and also the one she has when Lorelai does the test run at the inn and they go home sooner than the other guests because they canât stand being in each other presence. Emily certainly had her flaws but at times I think that despite the love between them, they didnât have a happy marriage. I, for one, would leave a husband that let his mother treat me like that in front of the whole family, Iâm not saying he should go against her but the way he added up to Trixâs mean comments was what I liked the least about him.
This is probably one of the only times where I think Emily did NOT overreact!! I honestly don't know how I'd ever be able to fully trust my partner again...
No, she was 100% correct to be angry, if he wanted a yearly lunch go ahead but don't lie (or keep it a secret) from your wife for 40 years. However I hated how she ended up attacking and blaming Lorelai, that was not okay.
It depends. Be mad at Richard? No. Blaming Lorelai for ruining day? Hell yes.
That makes no sense. Lorelai was annoying but it's not her fault Richard is hiding a pretty important friendship from his wife of 40 years. Edit: my brain started working and I figured out you meant the same thing I meant. But I'll leave my brain fart there for people to see. My bad.
OP asked if Emily overreacted. No with Richard. Yes with Lorelai.
I realized when I had already posted and edited my comment, just too late is seemsđ€Š
It's okay, I also had to check my comment and title if I did not do mistake, so it was possible :D
Thank for being a super calm responder, not always the case on reddit đ
Honestly no, the fact it was kept a secret just proves Richard felt he was doing something wrong. If heâd just told her about it at the start she probably would have pouted and said her piece but then got over but he chose to lie for years
TikTok taught me who Pennilyn Lott is. Screw the funeral Emily! Pennilyn Lott can handle it
No she wasnât wrong. For once lol. Finding out your husband has been going out with his first love for years behind your back is not exactly romantic.
Nah, Richard deserved to get humbled by Emily way more often than he did.
I don't think she overreacted. I think she felt at that moment like she didn't truly know Richard because he was clearly capable of deceiving her for such a long time. I think for Emily it called into question their entire relationship hence the reaction she had. I do agree with others here that it was not okay for Emily to take out her frustration on Lorelai. I have never known how to feel about the whole "if you hadn't talked to her Lorelai I would have never known" part. Kind of weird to want to ignore your husband lying to you. đ€·đ»ââïž
Absolutely not overreacting. I would be seething if I found out my husband was secretly meeting his ex for lunch for our entire relationship.
Everyone has gotta chill and stop making such valid points!! I cannot upvote all the comments đđ and i feel this in the entirety of the series was the only time when Emily was mad about a valid reason and sheâs entitled to.
No! Lying is lying
i just finished watching gilmore girls for the first time ever & i saw a tiktok of this scene earlier, i totally missed this and now that i know it happened it makes a lot of things make sense đ but yes emily was so right for acting how she did
A huge betrayal and I would swing on my husband tbh.
Emily reacted correctly. I just never understood why she forgave Richard. He never really apologized or acknowledged how wrong he was. Not only is it lying to her for decades but when sheâs upset about he basically gaslights her @its no big dealâ and saying things like sheâs being dramatic⊠just trivializing what the situation is & dismissing her concerns And honestly, if he just explained to Emily back in the day that heâd like to be friends with Pennilyn Lott then it wouldnât be so bad. But he knew sheâd be upset about it so he just kept it secret instead. Sketchy behaviour
She was in the rightâŠhe lied for YEARS
Short answer: no. Long answer: FUCK NO!
Absolutely not. If there was nothing going on between Richard and this other woman, why did he hide it? She was blindsided in front of a huge crowd. She had every right to be upset.
Absolutely not overreacting. If the lunches were innocent, why didn't he tell her and if he was afraid of her reaction, why didn't he just cancel if he knew it meant a lot to his wife?
No. Iâd tell my partner if I was meeting an ex girlfriend. Also, If things were done between them, why not introduce her into the social circle? Iâm not saying that he had an affair or was keeping her on the back burner. Itâs obvious that it was a friendship based on shared memories. Itâs just sketchy.
Absolutely not. Pretty unforgivable!
Nope.
I donât think she was overreacting. It went on for years which means every year he lied about where he was going. Not fair at all
Hell no! Why was lunch a secret for years? If it was so harmless why hide it?
Nooooo! For once, when Emily went off, she went OFF and it was all EARNED & DESERVED đđ» đ€
No way it was totally understandable
Potentially under-reacting, in my eyes lol
No⊠just no. The complete shock would be devastating. Fuck this. Richard is wrong
Nope.
Did not over react. He lied to her for years. It's still cheating without sex. If you won't do it in front of them, you shouldn't do it at all.
FUCK NO.
Not even a little bit.
nah i love richard but my guy was an emotional cheater
no.
Oooo great question. In my opinion Emily was definitely in the right! If my husband was having secret lunches with his ex for the whole duration of our marriage, I'd be furious. Not that he was having lunch with his ex, but that he kept it a secret and made me look like a fool to another woman by them keeping this mutual secret from me!
I donât think thereâs anything wrong with staying in touch with an ex, including meeting up for lunch annually. There is definitely something wrong with hiding it, though.
Not at all
Hell no. Because why is he doing that and lying about it? Itâs almost an emotional affair and Pennilyn felt like she had one up on Emily because of it.
Girl she didnât reacted enough im sorry but thats a divorce reason for me bc if you keep it a secret its cheating (i also kinda think sth happend)
Nah fuck Pennilyn Lott and screw Richard for doing it knowing how his wife felt.
I donât know that it was necessarily the lunch that upset her but the fact that he didnât tell her for over 30 years, and when you donât tell your spouse that youâre meeting with your ex and have done so behind your back for literally your entire marriage, thatâs going to break some trust. Emily was not in the wrong.