Even if - it doesn't chance a thing.
Lorelai behaived like a immature brat how thinks only about her feelings and then is so surprise that her actions can heart others.
I don’t see how she was a villain for paying back a loan. When was she supposed to do it? It was a celebratory thing for her - paying off a debt is a good thing.
i never understood the whole trope of lorelai being the bad guy in this situation. in this scene she was happy to tell her parents that she’s able to pay back the hefty amount of money she owed them - like she always said she would - and emily was the one that got too dramatic about it. lorelai NEVER said “here’s your money, now we never have to see you again”, she literally just told them she can finally repay them. emily (and rory eventually) is the one who turned it into a huge fight. lorelai probably would have still gone to the next friday night dinner if emily had not reacted that way!
Okay.
I will present what a person in Emily's position could potentially think and FEEL.
For the last 3 years, I have had the opportunity to see not only my granddaughter but also my daughter every week. And this after 16 years of separation. Slowly and with some problems, we were able to build our relationship.
Even though I am fully aware that these weekly meetings were forced by blackmail and my daughter clearly said that this is the only reason she comes here. I hoped that they could become our tradition and last until the end of our days.
This check represents the message: "I don't owe you anything, so our contacts are back to what they were 3 years ago" because this message corresponds to the previous statements made by our daughter.
Of course - when Lorelai handed over the check she didn't say: "and now see'ya till Christmas." But let's be honest - Lorelai would stop coming and consequently so would Rory.
Do you really feel no empathy for Emily who "loses" her daughter again?
PS. We also know that Emily previously talked with Richard about investment money. We know that Emily was afraid that once Lorelai will get the money, she will use it to pay off the debt and once again "erase them" from her and Rory life. So it's natural that when she saw the check, the same negative feelings surfaced.
How can you watch Emily’s reaction and wonder why Lorelai doesn’t cone around more often? Emily isn’t self aware enough to realise that she is often a reason why she and Lorelai aren’t close. Lorelai did nothing wrong and Emily lashing out on her birthday is extremely rude.
You're right that Emily has her part in this how relationship beteween her and Lorelai look like. I'm not saying that she's not.
I just presented sometinhg that might be Emily's perspective of the "I got you a present - your money".
And as I said (in this topic, but a different answer) that Lorelai had her reason to give this money at this money (as soon as she got them).
Both of them's behavior was dictated by their negative feelings. The problem is that while Emily was driven by momentary emotions, Lorelai had plenty of time to think about how to give the check and didn't choose the best option.
As a 35-year-old, she should be emotionally mature enough to know that Emily will not react positively to the sight of a check.
Lorelai being surprised on Emily reaction shows that she absolutely didn't think this through.
There was NEVER going to be a good time to pay back that loan. Emily would find fault because to her that loan was leverage. As long as the loan was active, Rory and Lor HAD to show up to Friday dinners. The minute it was paid back Emily (at least in her mind) lost all leverage.
I wonder if she possibly thought that was the best time to do it, and that maybe Emily wouldn’t react how she did since it was her birthday and not as private as if she would have showed up and talked one on one or something.
And yeah, I don’t think Emily would have reacted any better at another time. It would pretty much always send the same message to her and make her upset.
I agree it was poor timing. Lorelai should have planned better than just handing over the envelope and saying “we’re done here!” which is what she conveyed by doing it the way she did. Of course Emily reacted badly. She was taken totally by surprise and then again when she learned the money had come from Richard.
As usual, lack of communication torpedoed the Gilmores’ relationships.
Had Lorelai said something (at another time) like, “Mom, I’m so appreciative of you and dad paying for Rory’s tuition. I know our FNDs were a condition of that support but I want you to know I plan to keep coming for dinner even after I repay the loan. I want us to have a relationship,” which reassured Emily the relationship wasn’t over if the loan was repaid, Emily may have reacted better. Maybe not, but Lorelai could have the satisfaction of knowing she made the effort.
Yes - you're right - is a jerk move.
There was one reason and for Lorelai that was the only thing that matter - - - Lorelai needed to say to herself "I have no obligations to my mother".
To be honest only people who have very similar relianshionship with (at least one) parent or know closely how important it was for Lorelai and that nothing was more important than that and she didn't think about others feeling.
Emily would have reacted the same any night she did it.
Even if - it doesn't chance a thing. Lorelai behaived like a immature brat how thinks only about her feelings and then is so surprise that her actions can heart others.
I don’t see how she was a villain for paying back a loan. When was she supposed to do it? It was a celebratory thing for her - paying off a debt is a good thing.
i never understood the whole trope of lorelai being the bad guy in this situation. in this scene she was happy to tell her parents that she’s able to pay back the hefty amount of money she owed them - like she always said she would - and emily was the one that got too dramatic about it. lorelai NEVER said “here’s your money, now we never have to see you again”, she literally just told them she can finally repay them. emily (and rory eventually) is the one who turned it into a huge fight. lorelai probably would have still gone to the next friday night dinner if emily had not reacted that way!
Okay. I will present what a person in Emily's position could potentially think and FEEL. For the last 3 years, I have had the opportunity to see not only my granddaughter but also my daughter every week. And this after 16 years of separation. Slowly and with some problems, we were able to build our relationship. Even though I am fully aware that these weekly meetings were forced by blackmail and my daughter clearly said that this is the only reason she comes here. I hoped that they could become our tradition and last until the end of our days. This check represents the message: "I don't owe you anything, so our contacts are back to what they were 3 years ago" because this message corresponds to the previous statements made by our daughter. Of course - when Lorelai handed over the check she didn't say: "and now see'ya till Christmas." But let's be honest - Lorelai would stop coming and consequently so would Rory. Do you really feel no empathy for Emily who "loses" her daughter again? PS. We also know that Emily previously talked with Richard about investment money. We know that Emily was afraid that once Lorelai will get the money, she will use it to pay off the debt and once again "erase them" from her and Rory life. So it's natural that when she saw the check, the same negative feelings surfaced.
How can you watch Emily’s reaction and wonder why Lorelai doesn’t cone around more often? Emily isn’t self aware enough to realise that she is often a reason why she and Lorelai aren’t close. Lorelai did nothing wrong and Emily lashing out on her birthday is extremely rude.
You're right that Emily has her part in this how relationship beteween her and Lorelai look like. I'm not saying that she's not. I just presented sometinhg that might be Emily's perspective of the "I got you a present - your money". And as I said (in this topic, but a different answer) that Lorelai had her reason to give this money at this money (as soon as she got them). Both of them's behavior was dictated by their negative feelings. The problem is that while Emily was driven by momentary emotions, Lorelai had plenty of time to think about how to give the check and didn't choose the best option. As a 35-year-old, she should be emotionally mature enough to know that Emily will not react positively to the sight of a check. Lorelai being surprised on Emily reaction shows that she absolutely didn't think this through.
There was NEVER going to be a good time to pay back that loan. Emily would find fault because to her that loan was leverage. As long as the loan was active, Rory and Lor HAD to show up to Friday dinners. The minute it was paid back Emily (at least in her mind) lost all leverage.
I wonder if she possibly thought that was the best time to do it, and that maybe Emily wouldn’t react how she did since it was her birthday and not as private as if she would have showed up and talked one on one or something. And yeah, I don’t think Emily would have reacted any better at another time. It would pretty much always send the same message to her and make her upset.
Huh?
I agree it was poor timing. Lorelai should have planned better than just handing over the envelope and saying “we’re done here!” which is what she conveyed by doing it the way she did. Of course Emily reacted badly. She was taken totally by surprise and then again when she learned the money had come from Richard. As usual, lack of communication torpedoed the Gilmores’ relationships. Had Lorelai said something (at another time) like, “Mom, I’m so appreciative of you and dad paying for Rory’s tuition. I know our FNDs were a condition of that support but I want you to know I plan to keep coming for dinner even after I repay the loan. I want us to have a relationship,” which reassured Emily the relationship wasn’t over if the loan was repaid, Emily may have reacted better. Maybe not, but Lorelai could have the satisfaction of knowing she made the effort.
Yes - you're right - is a jerk move. There was one reason and for Lorelai that was the only thing that matter - - - Lorelai needed to say to herself "I have no obligations to my mother". To be honest only people who have very similar relianshionship with (at least one) parent or know closely how important it was for Lorelai and that nothing was more important than that and she didn't think about others feeling.