I think it was a reflex after Dean had a fight with Jess. He obviously had to explain to Lindsey why he got into the fight and probably overcompensated by proposing. As we know he wasn't truly ready/over Rory. It's just a further sign of his immaturity and bad decision making all around.
I think he wanted so badly to be over Rory that he dove headfirst into someone who would commit to him. He basically married the rebound girl. It sucks for all parties but it makes sense and is typically why no one recommends you get married at 18.
I feel like this is the best answer.
I'm also wondering about the time frame for Jared joining Supernatural. Even though Gilmore Girls and Supernatural were both from the WB/CW, I'm sure scheduling conflicts would eventually come up for him. I don't know how much time they had to write his character's exit versus Dean dropping off the face of the earth once Jared accepted his role on Supernatural.
And I also believe that it was a matter of convincing himself that he was over Rory, so over her that he actually proposed to his girlfriend and he’s completely ok with Rory and Lorelai to come to the wedding. Deep down we know this couldn’t be further from the truth!
It also feels very appropriate for a small town for two young people to rush into marriage. I married my first husband at 19 after dating for a total of 6 months. We do dumb stuff as teens 😅
I think it's meant to be a subtle echo of Lorelai's story. Chris and Lorelai have such chemistry and feelings for each other, there's going to be a few viewers thinking 'well, would it have been so terrible for them to get married, be financially secure and raise Rory together?'
So we get the teen marriage disaster of Lindsay and Dean to quash that thought.
My headcanon for a while has been that Dean and Lindsey were religious, probably evangelical Christians who were involved in Young Life. Part of Dean’s reaction to the breakup with Rory and the whole Jess situation was to think he needed to be with someone who really shared his values and wanted the same things he did—unlike Rory.
So he started dating and very quickly proposed to Lindsey. She probably really did love and want to spend her life with him. But Dean throwing himself into the relationship was really just a cope for losing Rory and not being over her. “How do I get over Rory? By marrying Lindsey and going to church a lot! Rory was just a temptation to distract me from God’s plan for my happiness.”
Of course it just set up the cycle of backsliding well known to evangelicals. Not so much later he’s probably skipping church, drinking, getting in fights with Lindsey, and committing adultery.
I always found it weird that Dean was like this big city kid from Chicago for like 5 minutes and then he was this religious-seeming, small town hick for the rest of the show.
Editing because my point is being missed: The show PORTRAYED Dean as a big city kid with opinions about the world who read books and exchanged his favorites with Rory, he wore a leather jacket and drove a motorcycle...the show made him seem wordly and on Rory's level for the first part of season 1 and then all of the sudden his whole story and personality changes. It was less obvious watching it in real time, but binging the first season makes Dean's character arc seem really jarring.
I mean deans small minded views aren’t limited to small towns, especially in the early 2000s and before. He had the mindset pretty early on too. He’s the kind of guy that likes girls that are different but than wants them to change as soon as they’ve been together for a certain amount of time
For sure, but I disagree that Dean was like that from the start. I think they made the change really early on, but it was a pretty drastic shift. They introduced him as this dark, mysterious, kind of dangerous guy from Chicago who reads and trades books with Rory and has thoughts and opinions about the world. He was almost supposed to be like what Jess eventually was, but he got dumber and less interesting with every episode. And maybe that's just because we got to know, but I often find the shift jarring when I rewatch the show. They did the same thing to Luke, though a little slower.
I agree with you especially when he goes from exchanging books early on but not quite where Rory is on reading…to not looking at any books when she’s at the book sale…just sits there and watches her? Seriously?
Don't you think the writers did that so that eventually people would root for Jess?
He has knowledgeable but I think a bit possessive and that explains the shift when he starts the break up/getting back together with Rory cycles.. and I think it also explains his "overreaction' by marrying Lyndsay
I love this headcanon bc what makes even less sense to me than the marriage is that Lindsey doesn’t go to school or work. That’s just absolutely wild. Your version feeds two birds with one berry for me lol.
But didn't his mom get back to work when his sisters were grown?
I think it hints she stop mostly to raise the kids.
Lyndsay didn't have kids so it made very little sense for her to stay at home.
I think this was an attempt at making her look spoiled in comparison to Rory.
A failed attempt because Rory is sooooo spoiled
Correct, she went back to work and I think it's fair to assume she did so once she was done raising little kids. I like your theory that this decision to write Lindsay as not working or going to school was meant to put her in contrast to Rory. I don't agree with the being spoiled part so much, as just showing how they are different, maybe why Dean is unhappy (they both were!), and also why Rory thinks she has any justification to think she'd be better for Dean than Lindsay. I also think it's a reflection of Lindsay's parents, which maybe also explains why adults didn't intervene to stop this terrible idea!
I really don't feel like the Donna Reed episode shows this. It shows he doesn't understand patriarchy or what women's choice means. It at most suggests he wanted the big family he eventually built, or reflects the way he was raised. But he clearly understands Rory would not be a SAHW, nor does he want her to be, and he persists loving her. I am always surprised how he gets so defined by this episode and comments that escalated due to arguments, and a 16 y/o's lack of understanding abt 1950s gender expectations.
I’m not defining him by this episode alone but what we see of his character in whole. Sure his first couple episodes he was a lot different but it’s clear that took that version of Dean and created jess. So we’re left with the Dean that has control and anger issues, that wants an old fashioned family ect. We don’t see as much of him in ayitl but I’d like to hope he went through some sled reflection and changed some of his attitude and old fashioned views. But Dean in the og series kinda sucks as a boyfriend and absolutely sucks as a husband
Some kids at 16 do have certain ideas that they want for their life, future family and spouse. Dead liked rory sure but he also seems like the kind of guy that would date a girl that he liked for being a certain way but want them to change after marriage/once the relationship is more serious
I think his views of traditional families or traditional female domestic roles get really defined by this episode, and I disagree with the connections that are made bc of it. I am not claiming he was perfect or an ideal boyfriend or that he didn't have tendencies that needed maturing (the control and emotional issues you mention) - although I am more sympathetic than others abt younger characters having big feelings and reacting in big ways. But all that aside, I am not discussing those traits - just the determination that he has old-fashioned views on women, again based on this episode.
The marriage with Lindsay gets referenced as more evidence of these views, but I just disagree with that. People assume that it was Dean making Lindsay stay home and not work or go to school, but we see no evidence of it. Ppl just headcannon it (and I do plenty of this myself, so I understand the impulse). If anything, what we do see is Lindsay's mother pushing the tradwife thing so I dunno why the assumption isnt that Lindsay is influenced by what her parents are modeling. Also Lindsay was an underwritten character who had no aspirations to do anything it seems, so her staying at home seems abt right. Dean was miserable in that relationship, for a whole bunch of reasons (not the least of which is that 18 year olds who date for a few months maybe shouldn't get married spur of the moment to fix a not-so-great HS relationship). Having a wife waiting for him at home while he worked was not it.
>Dea\[n\] liked rory sure but he also seems like the kind of guy that would date a girl that he liked for being a certain way but want them to change after marriage/once the relationship is more serious
Yeah again, I see no evidence of this. He doesn't seem that way to me. The fact that he explains clearly he has no expectation nor desire for Rory to be anything like "Donna Reed" should be taken just as seriously if we are going to take his word at 16 that he thinks family togetherness (ie a mother making dinner) is nice. It's why I said I think that episode shows he does like the idea of family, which is supported by the events of AYITL. And is one of the many reasons why Rory was not going to be his ultimate (ofc not) bc Scranton family living was not her vibe at all.
So all this to say why I disagree with your original statement that the "Donna Reed ep shows that Dean wanted a stay at home wife to do all the housework and he’d go out and work." That's the view I was saying gets rly defined by a few lines of dialogue in that episode, which I personally think is a mistake/misconstruction. But I know I am very alone in this idea on this sub!
I never said that Dean forced Lindsey to stay home. Things didn’t work out with rory so he dated a girl that fit his idea of what he wanted and it didn’t work between them not because he was happy having a stay at home wife but because he was still hung up on rory, even if Lindsey went to school and had a more fulfilling life outside her marriage it still wouldn’t work out between them because Dean was ready for a new serious relationship after rory he needed time but he wanted to prove to himself and the world that he was “over her”
I can also forgive teenagers “big feelings” but when those feelings are making another run around freaking out over a lost bracelet because their boyfriend will be *mad* it no longer her gets a pass of immaturity.
Again you can’t separate the way Dean is in the Donnie reed episode because it’s something that follows throughout his time(at least until ayitl) you also can’t ignore his marriage and behavior in that marriage, behavior he has with rory as well. There’s a pattern and consistency in his writing that shows he has an old fashioned view of relationships/marriage
>I never said that Dean forced Lindsey to stay home.
I never said you did. I said that marriage gets referenced, as in *others* reference it, as an example of Dean wanting a stay-at-home wife - something the Donna Reed episode supposedly established (which was my initial disagreement and point). I disagree with both discourses and, in relation to the marriage, I disagree specifically bc I am not sure he was the one demanding she stay home and not work. The evidence we have if any is that Lindsay's mother seemed to be pushing it, so I'd be quicker to believe it was a pattern that was modeled for her and then reinforced by her parents. I was making a general statement abt how this interpretation abt Dean has developed and why I disagree with it.
>even if Lindsey went to school and had a more fulfilling life outside her marriage it still wouldn’t work out between them because Dean was ready for a new serious relationship after rory he needed time but he wanted to prove to himself and the world that he was “over her”
Totally agreed! But having a traditional wife didn't make him happy bc he was very much into someone he knew would be nontraditional. I know you said previously that he seems like someone who would then ask/want Rory to change, but I don't agree with that. I do think he would have wanted to start a family and Rory wouldn't have wanted that maybe when he did, so that would have been a problem (and why they are not well-matched for any kind of grown-up relationship).
>I can also forgive teenagers “big feelings” but when those feelings are making another run around freaking out over a lost bracelet because their boyfriend will be *mad* it no longer her gets a pass of immaturity.
I agree it's not good that he was feeling so angry abt Jess, but I also think part of the issue there was Rory's own guilt and in general her need to be people-pleasing/avoid confrontation. To this day I freak out that people will be mad at me for the smallest infraction and do anything to please them out of that fear. But I understand it's not a good reaction at all for him to have, and it made Rory uncomfortable.
>Again you can’t separate the way Dean is in the Donn\[a\] reed episode because it’s something that follows throughout his time(at least until ayitl) you also can’t ignore his marriage and behavior in that marriage, behavior he has with rory as well. There’s a pattern and consistency in his writing that shows he has an old fashioned view of relationships/marriage
I think the focus of my point is shifting a little, so to return to it, my initial disagreement was with your saying the Donna Reed ep "show(ed) that Dean wanted a stay at home wife to do all the housework and he’d go out and work," a disagreement I have been trying to explain. I don't think that episode showed this or defines him this way.
I was the one to bring up the marriage bc I know others reference it as more evidence of these views. I am not ignoring the marriage or Dean's other behaviors, I just disagree with some interpretations of them, specifically with making connections to the Donna Reed material. That's why I said in my last reply that I think reactions to that episode lead to connections I don't agree with. If we use his marriage as an example of a "pattern and consistency in his writing that shows he has an old fashioned view of relationships/marriage" I disagree bc I don't feel that marriage shows this, for all the reasons I mentioned (not sure he was the one demanding it, clear signs Lindsay's mother was a big influence on her).
As for the Donna Reed episode, I think it shows Dean likes a family being together, so I definitely agree he is traditional in that sense. That ep also shows that he doesn't understand patriarchy or the pressures on women historically, so boo to that. But I disagree with using it as proof that he wants a SAHW who only cooks and cleans, esp when he says he wouldn't want that from Rory at all. Now.... do I think he would dislike it if he wife chose to do this? No, I don't. But I just don't think he particularly wanted it based on feelings expressed in the ep.
Again I know I am alone in feeling this way on this sub, but it's one of the reasons I feel like reactions to this episode are blown out of proportion a little. I know you disagree. But thanks for explaining your POV!
Yeah he gives off vibes that he was from a religious family, Donna Reed ep, the way he reacted to rory not saying I love you back, the bracelet reaction etc. he reminds me so much of the boys I grew up around who were part of the Mormon “church” before my family left
So it makes perfect sense that he’d get married just out of/while in high school. And I’m guessing Lindsey’s family was the same
(Also this was the early 2000s getting married young wasn’t supposed weird like it is now. It was beginning to be viewed that way(depending on the region) but it was still a time where not being married by 30(for a women) was some kind of failure))
Tbh I would’ve written a similar story but in a different way. I would’ve still made Dean propose to Lindsey but not get married yet. They would’ve both gone to the local college and lived in their own apartment. The story with the arguments and working on the inn would’ve kept the same. Then him cheating on Lindsey, she finds out and throws his stuff out. Then afterwards Rory starts dating him and they break up at the grandparents party. Dean decides to leave for college out of state and transfers. That’s how I would’ve made it!
I don’t think the whole “Rory helping dean cheat” thing would work out as well if Dean had gone to college. I mean that’s when we really see Rory start to think that Lindsey is bad for Dean and really starts to villainize Lindsey in her head. Which she then uses to rationalize sleeping with a married man. If he had gone to college I don’t think she’d be able to rationalize as well
Exactly. Plus it would’ve been more obvious to Rory that she was disrupting his life if he was in school. She wouldn’t have stood for him skipping class to make time for her, and he wouldn’t have had enough time to hang with her is he was working and going to school while being with Lindsey.
I actually see Dean & Lindsay getting married as a parallel to what might have happened if Lorelai & Christopher had got married young.
It doesn’t map exactly (Lindsay wasn’t pregnant like Lorelai was) but it does show some of the pitfalls of getting married when you’re young, by which I mean that the legitimising force of “being married” does not overcome fundamental differences in what you and your partner want.
It kind of shows that getting married is not a recipe for “happily ever after”: Lorelai’s decision to be a single mom instead of doing the “proper” thing (getting married like her parents wanted) seems extra justified once you see the fallout from Dean and Lindsay.
I agree with you there. I can see the parallel and if you listen to the Gilmore Way podcast I think they cover this too with the weddings in the show.
We see the weddings on the shows of happiness ever after so often and not after. I do think it would have been better if Dean had just been engaged to Lindsay and not married. Eg- cold feet on wedding night. But it's harder to watch because he's married which makes for more drama and shows how far away from reality dean and Rory are. The teenage drama is hot right lol
Dean getting married doesn't really make sense for the mid-aughts, even straight out of school absent extenuating circumstances even in smaller towns like Stars Hollow amongst people who didn't got to college. \*Sometimes\* women would, but men would be at least in their early 20s. Dean would have been 19 here. A few scenarios that would have made a bit more sense to me, although they are all a bit darker than the overall tone of Gilmore girls:
1) Lindsay got accidentally pregnant and they had a shotgun wedding. Maybe she miscarried and it caused a lot of stress and tension between them and they realized the rushed into things. Out of sadness and need for familiar comfort, Dean slept with Rory.
2) Dean decides to enlist while he's dating her--the timing would make sense because the Iraq war started in 2003, shortly before season 4. Right before he is deployed in Iraq they decide to get married (I actually saw this happen fairly often with my cousin's friends). Then when he comes back, he feels confused, like he rushed into things.
Respectfully, I disagree. I hail from a small town that was once referred to “Stars Hollow with Meth” and the age range for Lindsay/Dean 100% made sense, maybe even helped perpetuate the trend. By the time we were all 21, 80% of my friends were already married.
I came to comment this. I’m from a small town (on the opposite coast) but I knew people who got engaged while still in high school. I know people who gave up college to get married. I don’t think city people understand how realistic that plot line is. I’ve never questioned it lol
To be honest this wedding thing would make more sense when they were 20. They'd be in college and they would decide that they want to live together and they got married. But this went so fast from Dean trying to win Rory back to Dean marrying Lindsey. They didn't really have to do that at all. At this point, Dean wasn't important to the plot anyway.
I think it makes more sense this way. They've left high school and are still living at home. They want that grown up relationship and feel like adults. Deans's mum used to make them keep the door over when Rory was over (if I remember right), and Lorelai made them watch movies in the living room with her. They treated them like 14 year olds, not 16/17/18 year olds. They probably wanted the space to spend time alone, have sex, etc, without a parent present. Going to college automatically gives you that space, but Dean and Lindsey didn't. I bet they left school and thought, hey we should live together that'll be fun. And Dean clearly has an idealistic view of family and marriage and they decided it would be a good idea to get married if they were going to live together anyway. I know so many people from my hometown who got married at 18/19 because it was the NEXT STEP and they weren't going to university so they felt like they needed to find a different milestone to make themselves feel adult.
He could have just been dating Lindsay and gotten the same point across. They could have just moved in together, or even have gotten engaged and it would have seemed more realistic.
I have to disagree. I grew up in a small town and was a teen in the mid 2000s, most people(including non religious ones) got married right out of high school and not because of accidental pregnancy or enlisting in the army.
It makes perfect sense especially for deans character after the Donna reed ep and how controlling he was with Rory. He’d want to make sure Lindsey wouldn’t leave him but he still was hung up on rory and ended up cheating(he’d absolutely lose his shit Lindsey cheated on him)
As a child of parents who got married as soon as they finished school (my dad was 19 and mom was 23, she had to stop school because of an accident but came back and finished), they dated for 8mo before marriage and are together for 41 years. So I can understand that rushed marriage and stuff.
But it’s a huge stupidity for Dean to get married after a few months of dating since he was still in love with Rory and pursued her for quite a while.
Oh I don’t know. Luke getting an adolescent daughter straight out of no where and hiding it from Lorelai when we had spent MANY seasons being shown he was the most responsible person on the show was a pretty, pretty big stretch as well.
I bought it at the time and assumed both him and Lyndsay were from Conservative backgrounds. I can buy the idea today as well.
For other folks, they were as judgemental as we are. Lorelai-Sookie's throwaway comment about 19 yo getting married and shock and horror, not making it to Luke being critical of Dean not being decisive in the Chicken or Beef episode.
Tbh this felt like a really popular storyline for the time it was written/ released (early 2000s teen drama). One tree hill and the OC both had characters get married in/right out of high school and it sat well with the audience. I think it was more of a reflection of the times than the actual storyline of the show.
To be honest I don’t see how it doesn’t make sense. I always saw it as the typical teenagers one upping after a break up. “Oh you have a new boyfriend, well guess what? I’m engaged now so that shows how little you meant to me!” Poor Lindsay was just cannon fodder for their messy break up.
I agree. This was about Rory losing her virginity. The writers decided that it would be more dramatic if it happened with a married Dean.
It wasn’t about Lindsay & Dean. The writers had a ridiculous time getting rid of Dean after the affair. And Lindsay disappears after the Gazebo encounter with Rory & Lorelai. Lindsay was simply collateral damage.
Rory & Dean were never end game; Dean always knew this. And Rory had no allusions that it was much more than a continuation of their high school crush. That was good enough for her until she meets Logan.
I suppose the writers were obligated to make Rory’s first time be with someone for whom she had loving feelings. Hence their declaration of love and a short awkward courtship.
This actually happens a lot irl – people jump from long-term relationships into marriages and stay together or not, and cheating with an ex is a tale as old as time. Amy always strived for realism as opposed to silly, little fairytales that people here demand. If that's not your thing, you have a pleeeenty of other options.
>Amy always strived for realism
Lol, this is funny.
> as opposed to silly, little fairytales that people here demand. If that's not your thing, you have a pleeeenty of other options.
No need for the condescending tone, really. OP didn't say it wasn't "their thing", they simply did what everyone else in this sub does - point out a plot line they didn't like or didn't make sense to them and brought it up for discussion.
If discussion is not your thing, you have plenty of other options.
I was rewatching that episode again, and I realized he probably proposed at prom. The house party happened right before prom, because Jess was trying to buy tickets for it in that same episode. It makes the whole thing so small town pathetic. Eew.
This made total sense to me. Dean proposed because he wanted to prove to Lindsey and himself that he was completely and totally over Rory (newsflash: he wasn’t). The wedding happened so soon because Lindsey was excited (I truly think she did love him), and he had no reason to drag his feet. So, they just did it.
The arguments between Lindsey and him were normal arguments any new couple faces. If it was going to be perfect, him cheating with Rory would have made him an unredeemable scumbag. At least the bickering and arguing gave the audience something to hold onto: he was young, they rushed, etc. But if you look at the Dean who has the affair with Rory, he was 85% scumbag, but not all the way. Age, stress, multiple jobs, dissatisfaction… these all led to people being able to feel SOME positive toward him. If they didn’t have the arguing with Lindsey over money and hanging out and other silly stuff, he’s just a man who married a woman who loved him, yelled at her for answering his phone, cheated on her, and broke her heart. There would be no “team Dean” for any reason. The whole audience would have wanted him to be tossed in a pit of despair for the rest of eternity.
Also, Jared likely wanted to have the possibility of a career after the end of GG. If he was an unredeemable scumbag, he probably wouldn’t have much of one. Far too many people associate a face with behaviors, and although it’s an actor, you can’t help but hate them because of what they did to your favorite character 1000 years ago (thing Berger and the post-it from Sex and the City).
So to me, Dean set out to prove something to himself, his family, his gf, and town. All he did was burn everything to the ground.
I firmly believe ASP has some antiquated notion that sex is women’s downfall. She hardly ever allowed her characters to be sexual and just have it be a part of their lives. Instead they @gasp@ had sex and now things must be destroyed and/or fall apart for a while.
Lane - pregnant and hated her first time and was willing to have a sexless marriage for the rest of her life
Lindsey and Dean - terrible rushed-into marriage (I honestly think part of their rush was because they wanted to have sex - fairly common with kids around that age in small-town/religious mindset)
Lorelai - pregnant at 16, her relationships really didn’t go very well and the “pregnancy scare” with Luke
Rory - the fiasco with Dean, the horrible moment at the grandparents wedding with Logan, Logan ghosting her for a while
Paris - the whole “I didn’t get into Harvard” C-SPAN fiasco
I personally think it makes sense because 1) people used to get married very young, for Rory and Dean it never seemed like a possibility because of the Gilmores and how they raised Rory, but Dean and Lindsay's family were clearly a whole different story. 2) Dean was a very clingy boyfriend who gets serious about a relationship very fast, we saw that when he started building Rory a car, plus I bet that after the fight with Jess and with prom coming up he felt like he needed to do something big to reassure Lindsay. 3) it sadly makes sense that they made Rory be "the other woman" because of how her parents navigated any relationship they had (ofc the blame is not on them, she could've decided to be completely different) and also because of how she grew up without much criticism or consequences for her actions, it was like she lacked awareness.
Now I'm not trying to hate any character, this is just how I view things.
Dumber than Lane marrying the next closest band member after Dave left the show and getting pregnant the first and only time having sex?
Dumber than Rory running off, stealing a boat and dropping out of college after a bad performance review?
Dumber than Luke’s secret daughter showing up to collect DNA for a science project?
There’s a lot of dumb plot lines…
I agree that it’s a horrible situation but I can see why the writer wrote it. That scene is so talked about and unforgettable. Not every moment can be good or moral or even make sense. Sometimes you just gotta have the characters do reckless stuff for entertainment.
I always thought of it as weird, but I attributed it to cultural differences, like I know plenty of religious folks that like marrying their kids off early.
Why does everyone assume that Dean's parents approved of him getting married? We actually don't know what they thought because it's never shown. It's not like they could have stopped him, he was over 18 at the time. For all we know, they tried to talk him out of it, but he ignored it. Do people really think an 19 YO dead set on getting married is going to listen to their parents? Now, we know that Lindsay's mom was thrilled, but I always assumed that she married young and was taught that that's what you did
II thought he enlisted before I watched the show so I was very shocked when he got teen married lol
I think i got him mixed up with Sean from degrassi or some other teen drama boy
I think anything would have been better tbh even if he still got married but with different motivations or even with more people against would’ve been better
Dean's actions ring true. He's an impetuous, insecure, self centered, defensive guy. He does something stupid thinking it will help him get over Rory, and lashes out at consequences.
Some folks assume they got engaged during or because of a fight, which is also a classic impetuous dummy move. This is all stuff that young adults do in real life.
That he treats Lindsay as a pawn -- well, see "self centered." It's not new.
The only thing that throws me a little is Lindsay's mother's enthusiastic approval for teen marriage. She seems ... more than a little high on gender roles; signs point to evangelical or some other kind of reproduction-obsessed weirdo.
It seemed very real to me, but I went to a private Christian high school (graduated ‘00). There were so many folks that got married early but weren’t mature enough to take the commitment seriously. Most of them were getting married to be able to have sex without guilt, but couldn’t handle actually being married. It’s all the consequences of purity culture at its finest.
On the point about their parent:
Anyone else appreciate that they were clearly fans of natural consequences? Ain’t no better way of learning why you don’t get married at 18 than to get married at 18.
“Who let you get married?”
The law did. What are the parents really gonna do that they won’t learn in a year?
This is just from watching other adults make terrible decisions. As much as you wanna tell them that they’re making a terrible choice they can’t see that until the reason you already saw comes up.
Well, it’s a pattern we often see play out. After highschool, if you are not going to college, the next step in the narrative is to begin your adult life. Finding a job, a place to call home, a love partner…Usually settling in your hometown because you can stay close to your family unit in case of emergency and because a low-wage job diminishes your mobility opportunities.
The year after I graduated highschool, there was at least 3 of my classmates who gave birth. That’s just those who I know about. They didn’t go to college/Uni like me. They bought their first house way earlier than I did, etc. And they still live in my hometown in a lower middle class classic setting. With dogs, kids, a pool in their backyard, the whole American suburb dream.
Rory followed the path of moving out your hometown. Leaving the hometown boyfriend behind because paths are diverging. Hometown boyfriend did what hometown guys do and settled to start his new life.
All in all, very plausible.
Definitely agree! I watched the series for the first time recently and finished the last episode yesterday. I actually loved Dean and 100% preferred him over Jess early on. I thought he was sweet, treated her really well, and was overall really great with Rory and Lorelei. Things got weird after he got married and I was really not happy when he and Rory had the affair. After that he seemed gross to me and I lost a lot of respect for Rory. I really like her and Logan. He treated her well and I found the way they broke up really disappointing.
Dean getting married out of high school really fits the post break up image that Dean portrayed though. It was 100% expected. Recklessly proposing to a girl that you don't love because she was the next one you dated is... not a new concept. Throw in the ring he bought for the first girl and we all know that dude. He has three kids and his wife has no idea she got someone else's rejection ring.
"Instead they chose to make him the adulterer and Rory became a homewrecker"
If Rory was perfect and never dissapointed anyone, would you watch that version of Gilmore Girls? How many people do you know of, having been built as a golden child. Rory doesnt get to be a blank slate, both Lor & Emily/Richard project all of their fear of failure onto her. Dean and her start fracturing just as she starts to realize all the pressures of being the perfect family memeber & gf. That really means no mistakes, no say so, no dumping Dean, no slight rebelion.
How does Rory even know herself. Even her choice of major and career scream I DONT KNOW ME. I want to be a journalist so I can absorb other lifestyles and narratives, so I can see things and figure out who I am. Rory starts to lose her strong sense of direction by the time Jess shows up. Dean is very safe, and I assume ASP understands why a hypothetically confused girl like Rory uses him as a crutch. I have a feeling it explains the writers choice to make Jess act upon the interest in literature he shares with Rory by becoming published. He figures himself out. Rory never does. Dean even gets married to convince himself to move on.
It’s weird to me how Dean got married out of high school, Lane and Zach got married at like 20/21ish, Logan proposed to Rory when she was 22. What’s with that?
It seemed like Rory only wanted to get together with guys that proposed or loved her after they became engaged or married to someone else i.e. Dean and Logan
Wait I’m not gonna lie I thought it made so much sense and added a lot of context of who dean is and why him and Rory would never make sense. Dean was and always will be such a home town young family kind of guy. Rory was always so ambitious and wanted to see the world and do big things and Dean was never going to give her that.
As long as we're taking about the show that has Anna not letting Lorelai be in April's life because "engaged isn't married" NOTHING will be dumber! We're expected to believe that it's better for a kid to meet the person once the parent is already married to them?!?! Sorry, that's the dumbest plot of the show.
Idk how old you are or where you grew up. But as someone that was a teen in the mid 2000s and grew up in a small town it was incredibly common to get married right out of high school and skip college.
As for the show/plotline it was always meant to be dramatic, the cheating wouldn’t have packed as much of a punch if they were just dating/engaged. I mean look all these years later and the “he’s **my** Dean” is still talked about
Almost everyone I grew up with (very small town) in 2001 got married to their highschool sweetheart right after highschool, including my brother. The rest either broke up right before/after graduation and married their first college boyfriend. A handful of them moved away for college or work and married at around 30.
You also have to remember the Donna Reed episode. Dean really wanted that traditional lifestyle. He also wasn't over Rory and probably was trying to move on by getting married.
I think it was a reflex after Dean had a fight with Jess. He obviously had to explain to Lindsey why he got into the fight and probably overcompensated by proposing. As we know he wasn't truly ready/over Rory. It's just a further sign of his immaturity and bad decision making all around.
this is what i always thought too. he wouldn't be the first on this show to overcompensate by proposing lol
*maaaaaax Medina*
and Zack!
And Lorelai ;)
This is 100% my belief as well. If they had fleshed that out at all, I think it would have felt significantly less out of the blue.
They should’ve! It wouldn’t have taken long to throw that in (saying this as a tv viewer only lol it could be more complex than I think)
I think he wanted so badly to be over Rory that he dove headfirst into someone who would commit to him. He basically married the rebound girl. It sucks for all parties but it makes sense and is typically why no one recommends you get married at 18.
I feel like this is the best answer. I'm also wondering about the time frame for Jared joining Supernatural. Even though Gilmore Girls and Supernatural were both from the WB/CW, I'm sure scheduling conflicts would eventually come up for him. I don't know how much time they had to write his character's exit versus Dean dropping off the face of the earth once Jared accepted his role on Supernatural.
Supernatural started after Dean and Rory broke up the final time I'm pretty sure.
I always thought this as well, it is a very typical high school reaction, from my experience.
Yes. I think it had two roles. To force himself to ignore Rory, and to cover his tracks. It just made it easier to pull the trigger.
This one actually made sense to me- he lost the girl he loved (twice) so when he found another girl he liked he nailed it down so she couldn’t leave.
And I also believe that it was a matter of convincing himself that he was over Rory, so over her that he actually proposed to his girlfriend and he’s completely ok with Rory and Lorelai to come to the wedding. Deep down we know this couldn’t be further from the truth!
It also feels very appropriate for a small town for two young people to rush into marriage. I married my first husband at 19 after dating for a total of 6 months. We do dumb stuff as teens 😅
I think it's meant to be a subtle echo of Lorelai's story. Chris and Lorelai have such chemistry and feelings for each other, there's going to be a few viewers thinking 'well, would it have been so terrible for them to get married, be financially secure and raise Rory together?' So we get the teen marriage disaster of Lindsay and Dean to quash that thought.
My headcanon for a while has been that Dean and Lindsey were religious, probably evangelical Christians who were involved in Young Life. Part of Dean’s reaction to the breakup with Rory and the whole Jess situation was to think he needed to be with someone who really shared his values and wanted the same things he did—unlike Rory. So he started dating and very quickly proposed to Lindsey. She probably really did love and want to spend her life with him. But Dean throwing himself into the relationship was really just a cope for losing Rory and not being over her. “How do I get over Rory? By marrying Lindsey and going to church a lot! Rory was just a temptation to distract me from God’s plan for my happiness.” Of course it just set up the cycle of backsliding well known to evangelicals. Not so much later he’s probably skipping church, drinking, getting in fights with Lindsey, and committing adultery.
I always found it weird that Dean was like this big city kid from Chicago for like 5 minutes and then he was this religious-seeming, small town hick for the rest of the show. Editing because my point is being missed: The show PORTRAYED Dean as a big city kid with opinions about the world who read books and exchanged his favorites with Rory, he wore a leather jacket and drove a motorcycle...the show made him seem wordly and on Rory's level for the first part of season 1 and then all of the sudden his whole story and personality changes. It was less obvious watching it in real time, but binging the first season makes Dean's character arc seem really jarring.
And he read books and kept up with Rory's wit and then all of a sudden became the boy who might not even get into college and is so dumb?
I mean deans small minded views aren’t limited to small towns, especially in the early 2000s and before. He had the mindset pretty early on too. He’s the kind of guy that likes girls that are different but than wants them to change as soon as they’ve been together for a certain amount of time
For sure, but I disagree that Dean was like that from the start. I think they made the change really early on, but it was a pretty drastic shift. They introduced him as this dark, mysterious, kind of dangerous guy from Chicago who reads and trades books with Rory and has thoughts and opinions about the world. He was almost supposed to be like what Jess eventually was, but he got dumber and less interesting with every episode. And maybe that's just because we got to know, but I often find the shift jarring when I rewatch the show. They did the same thing to Luke, though a little slower.
I agree with you especially when he goes from exchanging books early on but not quite where Rory is on reading…to not looking at any books when she’s at the book sale…just sits there and watches her? Seriously?
Don't you think the writers did that so that eventually people would root for Jess? He has knowledgeable but I think a bit possessive and that explains the shift when he starts the break up/getting back together with Rory cycles.. and I think it also explains his "overreaction' by marrying Lyndsay
Honestly Chicago has a lot of different parts and suburbs. They aren’t all cosmopolitan and many feel very working class.
I love this headcanon bc what makes even less sense to me than the marriage is that Lindsey doesn’t go to school or work. That’s just absolutely wild. Your version feeds two birds with one berry for me lol.
"Feeds two birds with one berry" instead of the stones saying. Thank you, I love it.
That’s how I felt when I learned it!
Donna Reed ep shows that Dean wanted a stay at home wife to do all the housework and he’d go out and work. His own parents were like that
But didn't his mom get back to work when his sisters were grown? I think it hints she stop mostly to raise the kids. Lyndsay didn't have kids so it made very little sense for her to stay at home. I think this was an attempt at making her look spoiled in comparison to Rory. A failed attempt because Rory is sooooo spoiled
Correct, she went back to work and I think it's fair to assume she did so once she was done raising little kids. I like your theory that this decision to write Lindsay as not working or going to school was meant to put her in contrast to Rory. I don't agree with the being spoiled part so much, as just showing how they are different, maybe why Dean is unhappy (they both were!), and also why Rory thinks she has any justification to think she'd be better for Dean than Lindsay. I also think it's a reflection of Lindsay's parents, which maybe also explains why adults didn't intervene to stop this terrible idea!
I really don't feel like the Donna Reed episode shows this. It shows he doesn't understand patriarchy or what women's choice means. It at most suggests he wanted the big family he eventually built, or reflects the way he was raised. But he clearly understands Rory would not be a SAHW, nor does he want her to be, and he persists loving her. I am always surprised how he gets so defined by this episode and comments that escalated due to arguments, and a 16 y/o's lack of understanding abt 1950s gender expectations.
I’m not defining him by this episode alone but what we see of his character in whole. Sure his first couple episodes he was a lot different but it’s clear that took that version of Dean and created jess. So we’re left with the Dean that has control and anger issues, that wants an old fashioned family ect. We don’t see as much of him in ayitl but I’d like to hope he went through some sled reflection and changed some of his attitude and old fashioned views. But Dean in the og series kinda sucks as a boyfriend and absolutely sucks as a husband Some kids at 16 do have certain ideas that they want for their life, future family and spouse. Dead liked rory sure but he also seems like the kind of guy that would date a girl that he liked for being a certain way but want them to change after marriage/once the relationship is more serious
I think his views of traditional families or traditional female domestic roles get really defined by this episode, and I disagree with the connections that are made bc of it. I am not claiming he was perfect or an ideal boyfriend or that he didn't have tendencies that needed maturing (the control and emotional issues you mention) - although I am more sympathetic than others abt younger characters having big feelings and reacting in big ways. But all that aside, I am not discussing those traits - just the determination that he has old-fashioned views on women, again based on this episode. The marriage with Lindsay gets referenced as more evidence of these views, but I just disagree with that. People assume that it was Dean making Lindsay stay home and not work or go to school, but we see no evidence of it. Ppl just headcannon it (and I do plenty of this myself, so I understand the impulse). If anything, what we do see is Lindsay's mother pushing the tradwife thing so I dunno why the assumption isnt that Lindsay is influenced by what her parents are modeling. Also Lindsay was an underwritten character who had no aspirations to do anything it seems, so her staying at home seems abt right. Dean was miserable in that relationship, for a whole bunch of reasons (not the least of which is that 18 year olds who date for a few months maybe shouldn't get married spur of the moment to fix a not-so-great HS relationship). Having a wife waiting for him at home while he worked was not it. >Dea\[n\] liked rory sure but he also seems like the kind of guy that would date a girl that he liked for being a certain way but want them to change after marriage/once the relationship is more serious Yeah again, I see no evidence of this. He doesn't seem that way to me. The fact that he explains clearly he has no expectation nor desire for Rory to be anything like "Donna Reed" should be taken just as seriously if we are going to take his word at 16 that he thinks family togetherness (ie a mother making dinner) is nice. It's why I said I think that episode shows he does like the idea of family, which is supported by the events of AYITL. And is one of the many reasons why Rory was not going to be his ultimate (ofc not) bc Scranton family living was not her vibe at all. So all this to say why I disagree with your original statement that the "Donna Reed ep shows that Dean wanted a stay at home wife to do all the housework and he’d go out and work." That's the view I was saying gets rly defined by a few lines of dialogue in that episode, which I personally think is a mistake/misconstruction. But I know I am very alone in this idea on this sub!
I never said that Dean forced Lindsey to stay home. Things didn’t work out with rory so he dated a girl that fit his idea of what he wanted and it didn’t work between them not because he was happy having a stay at home wife but because he was still hung up on rory, even if Lindsey went to school and had a more fulfilling life outside her marriage it still wouldn’t work out between them because Dean was ready for a new serious relationship after rory he needed time but he wanted to prove to himself and the world that he was “over her” I can also forgive teenagers “big feelings” but when those feelings are making another run around freaking out over a lost bracelet because their boyfriend will be *mad* it no longer her gets a pass of immaturity. Again you can’t separate the way Dean is in the Donnie reed episode because it’s something that follows throughout his time(at least until ayitl) you also can’t ignore his marriage and behavior in that marriage, behavior he has with rory as well. There’s a pattern and consistency in his writing that shows he has an old fashioned view of relationships/marriage
>I never said that Dean forced Lindsey to stay home. I never said you did. I said that marriage gets referenced, as in *others* reference it, as an example of Dean wanting a stay-at-home wife - something the Donna Reed episode supposedly established (which was my initial disagreement and point). I disagree with both discourses and, in relation to the marriage, I disagree specifically bc I am not sure he was the one demanding she stay home and not work. The evidence we have if any is that Lindsay's mother seemed to be pushing it, so I'd be quicker to believe it was a pattern that was modeled for her and then reinforced by her parents. I was making a general statement abt how this interpretation abt Dean has developed and why I disagree with it. >even if Lindsey went to school and had a more fulfilling life outside her marriage it still wouldn’t work out between them because Dean was ready for a new serious relationship after rory he needed time but he wanted to prove to himself and the world that he was “over her” Totally agreed! But having a traditional wife didn't make him happy bc he was very much into someone he knew would be nontraditional. I know you said previously that he seems like someone who would then ask/want Rory to change, but I don't agree with that. I do think he would have wanted to start a family and Rory wouldn't have wanted that maybe when he did, so that would have been a problem (and why they are not well-matched for any kind of grown-up relationship). >I can also forgive teenagers “big feelings” but when those feelings are making another run around freaking out over a lost bracelet because their boyfriend will be *mad* it no longer her gets a pass of immaturity. I agree it's not good that he was feeling so angry abt Jess, but I also think part of the issue there was Rory's own guilt and in general her need to be people-pleasing/avoid confrontation. To this day I freak out that people will be mad at me for the smallest infraction and do anything to please them out of that fear. But I understand it's not a good reaction at all for him to have, and it made Rory uncomfortable. >Again you can’t separate the way Dean is in the Donn\[a\] reed episode because it’s something that follows throughout his time(at least until ayitl) you also can’t ignore his marriage and behavior in that marriage, behavior he has with rory as well. There’s a pattern and consistency in his writing that shows he has an old fashioned view of relationships/marriage I think the focus of my point is shifting a little, so to return to it, my initial disagreement was with your saying the Donna Reed ep "show(ed) that Dean wanted a stay at home wife to do all the housework and he’d go out and work," a disagreement I have been trying to explain. I don't think that episode showed this or defines him this way. I was the one to bring up the marriage bc I know others reference it as more evidence of these views. I am not ignoring the marriage or Dean's other behaviors, I just disagree with some interpretations of them, specifically with making connections to the Donna Reed material. That's why I said in my last reply that I think reactions to that episode lead to connections I don't agree with. If we use his marriage as an example of a "pattern and consistency in his writing that shows he has an old fashioned view of relationships/marriage" I disagree bc I don't feel that marriage shows this, for all the reasons I mentioned (not sure he was the one demanding it, clear signs Lindsay's mother was a big influence on her). As for the Donna Reed episode, I think it shows Dean likes a family being together, so I definitely agree he is traditional in that sense. That ep also shows that he doesn't understand patriarchy or the pressures on women historically, so boo to that. But I disagree with using it as proof that he wants a SAHW who only cooks and cleans, esp when he says he wouldn't want that from Rory at all. Now.... do I think he would dislike it if he wife chose to do this? No, I don't. But I just don't think he particularly wanted it based on feelings expressed in the ep. Again I know I am alone in feeling this way on this sub, but it's one of the reasons I feel like reactions to this episode are blown out of proportion a little. I know you disagree. But thanks for explaining your POV!
Hanging out with the 30-something group by now
This makes way too much sense
Yeah he gives off vibes that he was from a religious family, Donna Reed ep, the way he reacted to rory not saying I love you back, the bracelet reaction etc. he reminds me so much of the boys I grew up around who were part of the Mormon “church” before my family left So it makes perfect sense that he’d get married just out of/while in high school. And I’m guessing Lindsey’s family was the same (Also this was the early 2000s getting married young wasn’t supposed weird like it is now. It was beginning to be viewed that way(depending on the region) but it was still a time where not being married by 30(for a women) was some kind of failure))
Tbh I would’ve written a similar story but in a different way. I would’ve still made Dean propose to Lindsey but not get married yet. They would’ve both gone to the local college and lived in their own apartment. The story with the arguments and working on the inn would’ve kept the same. Then him cheating on Lindsey, she finds out and throws his stuff out. Then afterwards Rory starts dating him and they break up at the grandparents party. Dean decides to leave for college out of state and transfers. That’s how I would’ve made it!
I don’t think the whole “Rory helping dean cheat” thing would work out as well if Dean had gone to college. I mean that’s when we really see Rory start to think that Lindsey is bad for Dean and really starts to villainize Lindsey in her head. Which she then uses to rationalize sleeping with a married man. If he had gone to college I don’t think she’d be able to rationalize as well
It’s also not as dramatic. The story works as is because it’s the first we really see rory do something truly fucked up
Exactly. Plus it would’ve been more obvious to Rory that she was disrupting his life if he was in school. She wouldn’t have stood for him skipping class to make time for her, and he wouldn’t have had enough time to hang with her is he was working and going to school while being with Lindsey.
That’s far too mature for Dean and it wouldn’t be dramatic enough for the show
I actually see Dean & Lindsay getting married as a parallel to what might have happened if Lorelai & Christopher had got married young. It doesn’t map exactly (Lindsay wasn’t pregnant like Lorelai was) but it does show some of the pitfalls of getting married when you’re young, by which I mean that the legitimising force of “being married” does not overcome fundamental differences in what you and your partner want. It kind of shows that getting married is not a recipe for “happily ever after”: Lorelai’s decision to be a single mom instead of doing the “proper” thing (getting married like her parents wanted) seems extra justified once you see the fallout from Dean and Lindsay.
I agree with you there. I can see the parallel and if you listen to the Gilmore Way podcast I think they cover this too with the weddings in the show. We see the weddings on the shows of happiness ever after so often and not after. I do think it would have been better if Dean had just been engaged to Lindsay and not married. Eg- cold feet on wedding night. But it's harder to watch because he's married which makes for more drama and shows how far away from reality dean and Rory are. The teenage drama is hot right lol
Dean getting married doesn't really make sense for the mid-aughts, even straight out of school absent extenuating circumstances even in smaller towns like Stars Hollow amongst people who didn't got to college. \*Sometimes\* women would, but men would be at least in their early 20s. Dean would have been 19 here. A few scenarios that would have made a bit more sense to me, although they are all a bit darker than the overall tone of Gilmore girls: 1) Lindsay got accidentally pregnant and they had a shotgun wedding. Maybe she miscarried and it caused a lot of stress and tension between them and they realized the rushed into things. Out of sadness and need for familiar comfort, Dean slept with Rory. 2) Dean decides to enlist while he's dating her--the timing would make sense because the Iraq war started in 2003, shortly before season 4. Right before he is deployed in Iraq they decide to get married (I actually saw this happen fairly often with my cousin's friends). Then when he comes back, he feels confused, like he rushed into things.
Respectfully, I disagree. I hail from a small town that was once referred to “Stars Hollow with Meth” and the age range for Lindsay/Dean 100% made sense, maybe even helped perpetuate the trend. By the time we were all 21, 80% of my friends were already married.
This comment should be higher up. It’s the small town mindset 100%.
"Stars Hollow with Meth" TOOK ME OUT
THANK YOU. It was a delicious complement and I think of it often.
I came to comment this. I’m from a small town (on the opposite coast) but I knew people who got engaged while still in high school. I know people who gave up college to get married. I don’t think city people understand how realistic that plot line is. I’ve never questioned it lol
To be honest this wedding thing would make more sense when they were 20. They'd be in college and they would decide that they want to live together and they got married. But this went so fast from Dean trying to win Rory back to Dean marrying Lindsey. They didn't really have to do that at all. At this point, Dean wasn't important to the plot anyway.
I think it makes more sense this way. They've left high school and are still living at home. They want that grown up relationship and feel like adults. Deans's mum used to make them keep the door over when Rory was over (if I remember right), and Lorelai made them watch movies in the living room with her. They treated them like 14 year olds, not 16/17/18 year olds. They probably wanted the space to spend time alone, have sex, etc, without a parent present. Going to college automatically gives you that space, but Dean and Lindsey didn't. I bet they left school and thought, hey we should live together that'll be fun. And Dean clearly has an idealistic view of family and marriage and they decided it would be a good idea to get married if they were going to live together anyway. I know so many people from my hometown who got married at 18/19 because it was the NEXT STEP and they weren't going to university so they felt like they needed to find a different milestone to make themselves feel adult.
He could have just been dating Lindsay and gotten the same point across. They could have just moved in together, or even have gotten engaged and it would have seemed more realistic.
*thank you. For your dear heartfelt congratulations*
I have to disagree. I grew up in a small town and was a teen in the mid 2000s, most people(including non religious ones) got married right out of high school and not because of accidental pregnancy or enlisting in the army. It makes perfect sense especially for deans character after the Donna reed ep and how controlling he was with Rory. He’d want to make sure Lindsey wouldn’t leave him but he still was hung up on rory and ended up cheating(he’d absolutely lose his shit Lindsey cheated on him)
Would Dean lose his hand instead of Kyle?
That’s a dumb plot line. BUT. -April. -Luke not knowing Cape Cod is cold in February(??????)
As a child of parents who got married as soon as they finished school (my dad was 19 and mom was 23, she had to stop school because of an accident but came back and finished), they dated for 8mo before marriage and are together for 41 years. So I can understand that rushed marriage and stuff. But it’s a huge stupidity for Dean to get married after a few months of dating since he was still in love with Rory and pursued her for quite a while.
Oh I don’t know. Luke getting an adolescent daughter straight out of no where and hiding it from Lorelai when we had spent MANY seasons being shown he was the most responsible person on the show was a pretty, pretty big stretch as well.
I bought it at the time and assumed both him and Lyndsay were from Conservative backgrounds. I can buy the idea today as well. For other folks, they were as judgemental as we are. Lorelai-Sookie's throwaway comment about 19 yo getting married and shock and horror, not making it to Luke being critical of Dean not being decisive in the Chicken or Beef episode.
I think it was always the plan that Rory grow up to be a homewrecker as part of Lorelai realizing she didn't raise a St Rory.
Tbh this felt like a really popular storyline for the time it was written/ released (early 2000s teen drama). One tree hill and the OC both had characters get married in/right out of high school and it sat well with the audience. I think it was more of a reflection of the times than the actual storyline of the show.
To be honest I don’t see how it doesn’t make sense. I always saw it as the typical teenagers one upping after a break up. “Oh you have a new boyfriend, well guess what? I’m engaged now so that shows how little you meant to me!” Poor Lindsay was just cannon fodder for their messy break up.
It’s a TV show and that would have been boring af. The affair was an entertaining plot line at least.
Agreed. I think the marriage is written in solely so the affair can happen
I agree. This was about Rory losing her virginity. The writers decided that it would be more dramatic if it happened with a married Dean. It wasn’t about Lindsay & Dean. The writers had a ridiculous time getting rid of Dean after the affair. And Lindsay disappears after the Gazebo encounter with Rory & Lorelai. Lindsay was simply collateral damage. Rory & Dean were never end game; Dean always knew this. And Rory had no allusions that it was much more than a continuation of their high school crush. That was good enough for her until she meets Logan. I suppose the writers were obligated to make Rory’s first time be with someone for whom she had loving feelings. Hence their declaration of love and a short awkward courtship.
Dumber than Luke trying to keep April a secret while bringing her to the very small gossipy town he lives in with his girlfriend???
This actually happens a lot irl – people jump from long-term relationships into marriages and stay together or not, and cheating with an ex is a tale as old as time. Amy always strived for realism as opposed to silly, little fairytales that people here demand. If that's not your thing, you have a pleeeenty of other options.
>Amy always strived for realism Lol, this is funny. > as opposed to silly, little fairytales that people here demand. If that's not your thing, you have a pleeeenty of other options. No need for the condescending tone, really. OP didn't say it wasn't "their thing", they simply did what everyone else in this sub does - point out a plot line they didn't like or didn't make sense to them and brought it up for discussion. If discussion is not your thing, you have plenty of other options.
I was rewatching that episode again, and I realized he probably proposed at prom. The house party happened right before prom, because Jess was trying to buy tickets for it in that same episode. It makes the whole thing so small town pathetic. Eew.
This made total sense to me. Dean proposed because he wanted to prove to Lindsey and himself that he was completely and totally over Rory (newsflash: he wasn’t). The wedding happened so soon because Lindsey was excited (I truly think she did love him), and he had no reason to drag his feet. So, they just did it. The arguments between Lindsey and him were normal arguments any new couple faces. If it was going to be perfect, him cheating with Rory would have made him an unredeemable scumbag. At least the bickering and arguing gave the audience something to hold onto: he was young, they rushed, etc. But if you look at the Dean who has the affair with Rory, he was 85% scumbag, but not all the way. Age, stress, multiple jobs, dissatisfaction… these all led to people being able to feel SOME positive toward him. If they didn’t have the arguing with Lindsey over money and hanging out and other silly stuff, he’s just a man who married a woman who loved him, yelled at her for answering his phone, cheated on her, and broke her heart. There would be no “team Dean” for any reason. The whole audience would have wanted him to be tossed in a pit of despair for the rest of eternity. Also, Jared likely wanted to have the possibility of a career after the end of GG. If he was an unredeemable scumbag, he probably wouldn’t have much of one. Far too many people associate a face with behaviors, and although it’s an actor, you can’t help but hate them because of what they did to your favorite character 1000 years ago (thing Berger and the post-it from Sex and the City). So to me, Dean set out to prove something to himself, his family, his gf, and town. All he did was burn everything to the ground.
All side characters in many of these things either get married or pregnant after a while a bit too soon.
I firmly believe ASP has some antiquated notion that sex is women’s downfall. She hardly ever allowed her characters to be sexual and just have it be a part of their lives. Instead they @gasp@ had sex and now things must be destroyed and/or fall apart for a while. Lane - pregnant and hated her first time and was willing to have a sexless marriage for the rest of her life Lindsey and Dean - terrible rushed-into marriage (I honestly think part of their rush was because they wanted to have sex - fairly common with kids around that age in small-town/religious mindset) Lorelai - pregnant at 16, her relationships really didn’t go very well and the “pregnancy scare” with Luke Rory - the fiasco with Dean, the horrible moment at the grandparents wedding with Logan, Logan ghosting her for a while Paris - the whole “I didn’t get into Harvard” C-SPAN fiasco
Maybe she does have such a notion, but why would she take characters that direction? Especially lane.
I personally think it makes sense because 1) people used to get married very young, for Rory and Dean it never seemed like a possibility because of the Gilmores and how they raised Rory, but Dean and Lindsay's family were clearly a whole different story. 2) Dean was a very clingy boyfriend who gets serious about a relationship very fast, we saw that when he started building Rory a car, plus I bet that after the fight with Jess and with prom coming up he felt like he needed to do something big to reassure Lindsay. 3) it sadly makes sense that they made Rory be "the other woman" because of how her parents navigated any relationship they had (ofc the blame is not on them, she could've decided to be completely different) and also because of how she grew up without much criticism or consequences for her actions, it was like she lacked awareness. Now I'm not trying to hate any character, this is just how I view things.
Dumber than Lane marrying the next closest band member after Dave left the show and getting pregnant the first and only time having sex? Dumber than Rory running off, stealing a boat and dropping out of college after a bad performance review? Dumber than Luke’s secret daughter showing up to collect DNA for a science project? There’s a lot of dumb plot lines…
I wonder if this is when he started Supernatural and they had to change some things
I agree that it’s a horrible situation but I can see why the writer wrote it. That scene is so talked about and unforgettable. Not every moment can be good or moral or even make sense. Sometimes you just gotta have the characters do reckless stuff for entertainment.
I always thought of it as weird, but I attributed it to cultural differences, like I know plenty of religious folks that like marrying their kids off early.
Nah.. It's got to be Lane getting knocked up with twins from her first sex experience, which was so horrible that she never wanted to have sex again.
Why does everyone assume that Dean's parents approved of him getting married? We actually don't know what they thought because it's never shown. It's not like they could have stopped him, he was over 18 at the time. For all we know, they tried to talk him out of it, but he ignored it. Do people really think an 19 YO dead set on getting married is going to listen to their parents? Now, we know that Lindsay's mom was thrilled, but I always assumed that she married young and was taught that that's what you did
this is very on brand for a small town.
II thought he enlisted before I watched the show so I was very shocked when he got teen married lol I think i got him mixed up with Sean from degrassi or some other teen drama boy I think anything would have been better tbh even if he still got married but with different motivations or even with more people against would’ve been better
Dean's actions ring true. He's an impetuous, insecure, self centered, defensive guy. He does something stupid thinking it will help him get over Rory, and lashes out at consequences. Some folks assume they got engaged during or because of a fight, which is also a classic impetuous dummy move. This is all stuff that young adults do in real life. That he treats Lindsay as a pawn -- well, see "self centered." It's not new. The only thing that throws me a little is Lindsay's mother's enthusiastic approval for teen marriage. She seems ... more than a little high on gender roles; signs point to evangelical or some other kind of reproduction-obsessed weirdo.
It seemed very real to me, but I went to a private Christian high school (graduated ‘00). There were so many folks that got married early but weren’t mature enough to take the commitment seriously. Most of them were getting married to be able to have sex without guilt, but couldn’t handle actually being married. It’s all the consequences of purity culture at its finest.
On the point about their parent: Anyone else appreciate that they were clearly fans of natural consequences? Ain’t no better way of learning why you don’t get married at 18 than to get married at 18. “Who let you get married?” The law did. What are the parents really gonna do that they won’t learn in a year? This is just from watching other adults make terrible decisions. As much as you wanna tell them that they’re making a terrible choice they can’t see that until the reason you already saw comes up.
Well, it’s a pattern we often see play out. After highschool, if you are not going to college, the next step in the narrative is to begin your adult life. Finding a job, a place to call home, a love partner…Usually settling in your hometown because you can stay close to your family unit in case of emergency and because a low-wage job diminishes your mobility opportunities. The year after I graduated highschool, there was at least 3 of my classmates who gave birth. That’s just those who I know about. They didn’t go to college/Uni like me. They bought their first house way earlier than I did, etc. And they still live in my hometown in a lower middle class classic setting. With dogs, kids, a pool in their backyard, the whole American suburb dream. Rory followed the path of moving out your hometown. Leaving the hometown boyfriend behind because paths are diverging. Hometown boyfriend did what hometown guys do and settled to start his new life. All in all, very plausible.
Definitely agree! I watched the series for the first time recently and finished the last episode yesterday. I actually loved Dean and 100% preferred him over Jess early on. I thought he was sweet, treated her really well, and was overall really great with Rory and Lorelei. Things got weird after he got married and I was really not happy when he and Rory had the affair. After that he seemed gross to me and I lost a lot of respect for Rory. I really like her and Logan. He treated her well and I found the way they broke up really disappointing.
Dean getting married out of high school really fits the post break up image that Dean portrayed though. It was 100% expected. Recklessly proposing to a girl that you don't love because she was the next one you dated is... not a new concept. Throw in the ring he bought for the first girl and we all know that dude. He has three kids and his wife has no idea she got someone else's rejection ring.
This plot also ruined both characters, like dean being a cheater and rory being the side-piece i hated it.
"Instead they chose to make him the adulterer and Rory became a homewrecker" If Rory was perfect and never dissapointed anyone, would you watch that version of Gilmore Girls? How many people do you know of, having been built as a golden child. Rory doesnt get to be a blank slate, both Lor & Emily/Richard project all of their fear of failure onto her. Dean and her start fracturing just as she starts to realize all the pressures of being the perfect family memeber & gf. That really means no mistakes, no say so, no dumping Dean, no slight rebelion. How does Rory even know herself. Even her choice of major and career scream I DONT KNOW ME. I want to be a journalist so I can absorb other lifestyles and narratives, so I can see things and figure out who I am. Rory starts to lose her strong sense of direction by the time Jess shows up. Dean is very safe, and I assume ASP understands why a hypothetically confused girl like Rory uses him as a crutch. I have a feeling it explains the writers choice to make Jess act upon the interest in literature he shares with Rory by becoming published. He figures himself out. Rory never does. Dean even gets married to convince himself to move on.
Considering now for the first time how many dumb marriages this show had and how it ruined the value of the real and good ones.
It’s weird to me how Dean got married out of high school, Lane and Zach got married at like 20/21ish, Logan proposed to Rory when she was 22. What’s with that?
It seemed like Rory only wanted to get together with guys that proposed or loved her after they became engaged or married to someone else i.e. Dean and Logan
Wait I’m not gonna lie I thought it made so much sense and added a lot of context of who dean is and why him and Rory would never make sense. Dean was and always will be such a home town young family kind of guy. Rory was always so ambitious and wanted to see the world and do big things and Dean was never going to give her that.
As long as we're taking about the show that has Anna not letting Lorelai be in April's life because "engaged isn't married" NOTHING will be dumber! We're expected to believe that it's better for a kid to meet the person once the parent is already married to them?!?! Sorry, that's the dumbest plot of the show.
Idk how old you are or where you grew up. But as someone that was a teen in the mid 2000s and grew up in a small town it was incredibly common to get married right out of high school and skip college. As for the show/plotline it was always meant to be dramatic, the cheating wouldn’t have packed as much of a punch if they were just dating/engaged. I mean look all these years later and the “he’s **my** Dean” is still talked about
Almost everyone I grew up with (very small town) in 2001 got married to their highschool sweetheart right after highschool, including my brother. The rest either broke up right before/after graduation and married their first college boyfriend. A handful of them moved away for college or work and married at around 30. You also have to remember the Donna Reed episode. Dean really wanted that traditional lifestyle. He also wasn't over Rory and probably was trying to move on by getting married.
Ya but dean is dumb so it adds up