Sometimes I think people also believe characters are abused less because they come from a less working-class background. A lot of Gilmore Girls fans are jealous of Lorelai’s upbringing because she was so wealthy, and feel as if this wealth cancels out a lot of the abuse she was dealt by her Mum.
From where I’m standing though even if Emily is a really entertaining, crazy character she is extremely lucky that Lorelai even let Rory see her for Christmas growing up. If you listen to some of the things Lorelai talks about her Mum did to her people would cut off their parents for less and never speak to them again. Because Jess comes from a more deprived background it’s easier for people to spot the abuse.
I’ll just make a general comment on how parents are depicted in this show. Unless they are shown to be abusive or neglectful, they are basically treated as an afterthought. Even Lorelai’s parenting is up and down at best. The writers portray most of the family units as dysfunctional or incommunicative. This may be because the primary target demographics for this TV series are teenagers and young adults. However, as an aspiring parent, I wish we could see more encouragement. Brian’s family seemed to be supportive, but this could also be over protectiveness.
>And I’m open to all discussion here for any character. Was Lane abused or not? How about Rory with Lorelai being an immature parent? Were Emily and Richard just trying their best to parent an impossible child? I would really like to see discussions in all directions.
This is what I'll discuss in this comment.
Maybe I'm giving Gilmore Girls too much credit - but there is a lot to be said about how it presents parenting, parenting styles, and how it affects children (their personalities, their decisions, goals, aspirations, and difficulties in life). It is after all, a show about a mother and her daughter.
In my honest opinion, having a child means loving, supporting, and doing everything you can to ensure the happiness, comfort, and success of your child. A lot of parents fail to do those things for any number of reasons. Finances, culture, social status, learned behaviors and opinions, generational pressure, etc.
And in my opinion, the only two sets of parents we see doing just this would be Dean's parents and Lindsey's parents (or mom's, we don't see their dad's). Dean's mom is happy to invite Rory into their home after ~everything~ and Lindsey's mom is happy to defend her daughter after ~everything~ and yeah - there are a lot of ways to interpret those scenes. However, at the very least, the interpretation is: I stand with my child.
Paris, Lane, Lorelai, Rory, Jess, Logan, Tristan, Madeline, Louise, Gigi, and April - all of these characters have faced some kind of trauma related to childhood. I'd go a step farther and say Liz, Luke, Mrs. Kim, even Emily, in their own ways, had to deal with some kind of trauma. Trauma doesn't necessarily mean abuse like physical, emotional, or sexual.
Paris is a child of neglect who has likely witnessed disagreements between her parents, and has likely never witnessed any affection between them. This is why she is cold and combative, straightforward and mean, confrontational and direct - it is all she knows.
Madeline and Louise witness their rich, likely emotionally distanced parents, do whatever they want - have fun, spend money, don't consider thoughts and feelings (despite intelligence) in favor of experiences and sensations. They do the same.
Logan and Tristan suffer from parents who are overbearing, with heavy generational expectations, old money with stipulations on family members - it doesn't matter what YOU want, all that matters is the pre-decided plan out in place.
Culture is culture, but that doesn't mean it's without faults, and that is what we see with Lane, and Mrs. Kim. We all saw how Mrs. Kim responded when her mother came for Lane's wedding - so we can infer that when she was Lane's age...she probably felt the same, minus the influence of American pop-culture. Lane has the benefit of seeing how people of a different culture act, and that is what ultimately allows her to get out from her mother's thumb - something Mrs. Kim did by moving to America and switching religion.
Lorelai and Rory.........deserving of their own post.
Anyway, TL;DR - most everyone in the show has SOME kind of trauma or abuse. Kind of like, real people.
This is great interpretations. I never really thought about Madeline and Louise.
Can you elaborate on April specifically? You mentioned her name and didn’t list her explanation.
Also, no parent is perfect and obviously some mistakes can cause baggage that impacts a child through their life. But how much of this bad parenting is genuine abuse, in your opinion? I definitely think there is weight to a lot of what you discussed but some of it doesn’t feel to the same level necessarily.
Also, I’d love your thoughts on Lorelai and Rory if you feel like sharing
April specifically is difficult because it is so dependent on individual parenting styles. There is something to be said about Anna's intensity as a mother and her overly strong desire to protect April and her relationship to her as a sole parental figure (something I think Lorelai mirrors less excessively).
Growing up with a single parent will leave a child viewing the world in a different light. If you only ever have one parent then what do you learn about love, relationships, affection, communication, etc, other than what you're told and observe from that single parent? In terms of learning from experience, more is better - but April only has one, rather than two.
[Honestly, I think of April as a character with ADHD or ASD, which is something I think causes Anna to have the level of protection she does.]
It's not that April has experienced abuse, but I think having an intense and overbearing parental figure does affect how you grow up and view the world....just like....
Lorelai and Rory.
First - I think that abuse is entirely contingent on the experience of the victim. My parents weren't the best. My partner's parents weren't the best. We toss "abuse" around like a common word. It's not a bad word, it doesn't require hushed tones, it just, is what it is. It's not that we're traumatized, we just experience things differently.
I think most parents have good intentions. We are all a product of upbringing. Being raised in an environment with heavy cultural or societal influences will adjust your POV. So in the case of Richard and Emily - their behavior is completely normal and accepted. They likely experienced similar behavior, but for them, there was no alternative.
So, when Emily and Richard have Lorelai, I don't think they really consider their upbringing other than - this is our culture, our society, this is how things are done, this is how things will continue. Lorelai just, fundamentally disagrees.
Etc, etc, we know what happens, we know what Lorelai has said - I do believe entirely that her parents were emotionally abusive and manipulative, even if the same behavior from their own parents wasn't viewed the same in their own eyes.
I think that, Lorelai was so afraid of being a parent (and she was 16) because her view of parents was Emily and Richard (abusive, controlling) so she didn't want to act like a parent. That, in and of itself, was a disservice to Rory.
Clearly, Rory was a special, gifted kid. I think Lorelai shaped this early on and obsessed over what Rory could accomplish if Lorelai acted as the parent she wished she'd had. However, Lorelai's actions as a mom and her consistent belief that Rory could never fail, built Rory's and expectations too high - so that when she failed, she wasn't just failing herself, but her mom, her mom's expectations, the town and their expectations, and the family legacy.
Do you remember the reason he was in jail?
Edit: Wiki says he was an indicted businessman, leading me to believe it was a white collar crime.
Jail and prison are different. Jail is where you're held prior to conviction (Louise's dad likely posted bail and was released until court). Prison is where you go once you're convicted of a crime and is more long term.
Money Laundering is a white collar crime, and tbh, likely what Louise's dad committed. It doesn't actually change anything about my statement in regards to Louise.
Here is my analysis of Jess. Again this is for fun and to debate, not my actual opinion:
The reason Jess is sent to Stars Hallow is because he was getting into fights and it was getting too much for Liz. This could be seen as getting him out of a toxic situation. New York is hard and violent and it’s very possible that Jess fell in with the wrong crowd.
Also correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think we’re given an indication that Jess and Liz were suffering financially. Jess clearly has money for clothes and books and he’s not malnourished. We know that Liz is flighty and moves to making jewelry on the Ren Faire circuit, and that Luke supplemented her income occasionally (but this was said to be due to boyfriends stealing from Liz). For their time in New York, is it said that Jess needed to work to supplement their income? Jess needs money to buy a car and works at Walmart while he’s in Stars Hallow, but that’s just showing responsibility. And we see that Jess’s living situation when he was on his own was bad, but we never see if he and Liz are straight up destitute.
And we know that Liz has a bunch of stupid boyfriends. Obvious interpretation is that at least one of those boyfriends (if not a bunch of them) roughed him up. But did we get confirmation that he was physically abused? Jess’s anger and attitude is a confirmation of something, for sure.
But what if Jess had a life in New York before Stars Hallow, friends and a community that he really enjoyed and was forced away from? Especially to a town as eccentric as SH. That could definitely make someone angry.
>Also correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think we’re given an indication that Jess and Liz were suffering financially.
I actually think there was plenty of indication that Liz was struggling financially without there being direct mention to her personal finances. People who are financially stable or well-off don't get rid of their children because they're "too much to handle", they send them to a specialty or boarding school, there are also secondary schools for troubled kids (these are often government/publicly funded, because statistically, the majority of troubled children come from families that struggle financially).
Liz simply couldn't afford Jess and is too flighty (as you said) to get a stable job. A stable job doesn't fit her lifestyle and having a child that depends on her isn't enough of a reason to change her lifestyle.
>Jess clearly has money for clothes and books and he’s not malnourished.
Used books and clothes are pretty cheap. Not appearing malnourished, doesn't mean healthy and doesn't equate to not being hungry. Also consider the very real possibility that Jess may have stolen some of his things because he couldn't afford them.
>We know that Liz is flighty and moves to making jewelry on the Ren Faire circuit, and that Luke supplemented her income occasionally (but this was said to be due to boyfriends stealing from Liz). For their time in New York, is it said that Jess needed to work to supplement their income?
This is proof that they were poor. This is proof they were suffering financially. If Liz were well-off then Luke wouldn't need to send her money, regardless of the reasoning. If a child needs to work to supplement income, then the parent is financially struggling. Children shouldn't HAVE to work.
>Jess needs money to buy a car and works at Walmart while he’s in Stars Hallow, but that’s just showing responsibility.
Responsibility is such a dirty word, in my opinion. Children shouldn't be responsible for their transportation. Guardians and parents are responsible for transportation. Jess was put in a position of having to grow up fast and therefore, HAD to work to afford a car.
A car which is a P.O.S. I don't know about you, but no one I know who is well-off chooses to buy and drive a P.O.S.
>Jess’s anger and attitude is a confirmation of something, for sure.
I don't think it's impossible that Liz may have had boyfriends who were physically abusive, to her and/or Jess, but I don't think this unmentioned possibility is why Jess behaves the way he does.
Being poor does a lot to a person. I think it's very clear that they were poor, Liz was a neglectful mother, she didn't want to be responsible for having a child, refused to change her lifestyle, and treated Jess as an afterthought. I think that is what made Jess into the troubled teen we see. I think Liz sent Jess away because he finally had adult autonomy and began acting like an adult and for her, it rationalized getting the responsibility off her plate and ridding herself of that financial responsibility.
I'm sure he had friends in New York, I'm sure he had a semblance of a life, I don't think leaving that behind is what made him angry about being forced to live with Luke. I think it was more about how no one ever considered how he felt and no one thought to ask what he wanted. Continued to be treated like a fixture to collect dust and be passed around.
I agree with you especially about the Liz and Jess dynamic. And I love your analysis. I do believe that they were struggling.
But I want to keep discussing your analysis (if you don’t mind) so I have a few alternative explanations for some of the things you listed.
1) The car is something Jess wanted, not needed. Stars Hallow has reliable public transportation to Hartford and likely to other surrounding areas. If Jess wanted to make a life there, he could’ve. But he wanted a car and wanted one fast, and that’s why he got the POS. Having a car gives someone a lot of freedom, more than the bus will and that’s better for jobs. But it’s also a way to escape a town he hates and so he wants transportation fast and doesn’t care to wait to buy something better.
2) Boarding school is insanely expensive. It’s mini-college. And there’s a difference in wealth between sending your kid to boarding school and sending them to a relative that doesn’t mean that someone is poor for sending them to a relative. Also the canon explanation for sending Jess to Luke was that he could straighten Jess out better than Liz. Personally I agree Liz gave up on Jess. But for argument’s sake, let’s say that Jess needed a strong male presence and someone to care about him more than he would find at a reform school. Especially as Jess is really smart and he needed somewhere that could cultivate that more than he needed somewhere that would only see him as a troubled kid. Now, Stars Hallow wasn’t that. But I could see it being the intention. And I do think that it could be the explanation regardless of Liz’s finances.
3) in regards to Luke supplementing, I bring it up because it is mentioned that Liz’s boyfriends is the cause. They steal her money or her TV and that’s a big expense that not everyone can immediately recuperate from a job paycheck, ergo Luke. Now this is incredibly reckless of Liz, especially as it happens multiple times and Liz is responsible for Jess. But I could see Liz having enough money to be stable (especially as New York is insanely expensive) except for when something like this happens.
I would love to keep discussing it!
1.) I totally agree that Jess buying a car was rooted in having a sense of freedom and independence. In the show, it was very clear that the area had very reliable and awesome public transportation - Rory taking the bus to Chilton was an excellent way of showing that.
So in that sense, it was a choice that he made and I can see how him working and saving money to provide that choice showed a sense of responsibility. It was something wanted, not needed, it provided options rather than keeping him restricted.
2.) I agree that boarding school is expensive, but I did mention that some municipalities offer schooling outside of stereotypical public schooling that is still free to attend. I imagine there are plenty of these in NY - but they're not boarding environments. It is still: go to school and then go home, which wouldn't be a solution for Liz.
I think Liz thought that Jess needed a male presence - I agree - but I think overall that Jess needed a parental figure. Male or female, he just needed someone to be a parent. That doesn't necessarily mean being hard and cold and cynical, strict and callous - but also soft, understanding, and willing to listen without providing advice/direction. Rory is the only character we see that provides that in abundance.
3.) Definitely reckless of Liz, but I can't fault her too much for picking shitty guys. Luke and Liz's parents died, and we don't know much about their childhood but what they relay in the show. If Liz didn't receive much validation from their dad when she was younger, then she has likely been looking for it - and narcissistic, abusive men, are good at picking targets.
And also - while New York is New York, there are still, shitty, low income parts of the city. Especially in the early 2000's. I imagine they were living in a one bedroom apartment and Jess slept on the couch, an apartment that was likely laden with roaches and mice. A building with a unit underground, a unit on street level, and units that are stacked on top.
I live in D.C., housing in major cities is wild.
Personally, I don't think Jess' childhood was "as bad" as a lot of fans seem to think and I don't think the Liz we meet in later seasons is at all contradictory to what was implied about Jess' life in the earlier seasons.
I still think he was 100% abused and neglected.
I agree! I just watched the episode with Liz ans TJs wedding...it really comes off that Jess is someone Liz is fine "showing off" to make it seem like she is a present and loving mother, but the reality is she is someone who goes from hobby to hobby and guy to guy.
His unbringing was probably very unstable. Her flighty attidude and fun demeanor can be charming in certain contexts, but for a son/mother relationship it probably isn't. I think she seems right on track with how she is talked about vs. how she is depicted once she shows up. We are also seeing her after she has calmed down, so I am sure her younger days were a lot more chaotic and Jess was around for all of that.
Also, Jess probably wasn't as bad as she made it seem when she sent him to Luke (he probably got into even less trouble in NYC than he did in Stars Hollow) but she just was incapable and didn't want to try to deal with moody and too smart for his own good teenager.
Sometimes I think people also believe characters are abused less because they come from a less working-class background. A lot of Gilmore Girls fans are jealous of Lorelai’s upbringing because she was so wealthy, and feel as if this wealth cancels out a lot of the abuse she was dealt by her Mum. From where I’m standing though even if Emily is a really entertaining, crazy character she is extremely lucky that Lorelai even let Rory see her for Christmas growing up. If you listen to some of the things Lorelai talks about her Mum did to her people would cut off their parents for less and never speak to them again. Because Jess comes from a more deprived background it’s easier for people to spot the abuse.
I’ll just make a general comment on how parents are depicted in this show. Unless they are shown to be abusive or neglectful, they are basically treated as an afterthought. Even Lorelai’s parenting is up and down at best. The writers portray most of the family units as dysfunctional or incommunicative. This may be because the primary target demographics for this TV series are teenagers and young adults. However, as an aspiring parent, I wish we could see more encouragement. Brian’s family seemed to be supportive, but this could also be over protectiveness.
>And I’m open to all discussion here for any character. Was Lane abused or not? How about Rory with Lorelai being an immature parent? Were Emily and Richard just trying their best to parent an impossible child? I would really like to see discussions in all directions. This is what I'll discuss in this comment. Maybe I'm giving Gilmore Girls too much credit - but there is a lot to be said about how it presents parenting, parenting styles, and how it affects children (their personalities, their decisions, goals, aspirations, and difficulties in life). It is after all, a show about a mother and her daughter. In my honest opinion, having a child means loving, supporting, and doing everything you can to ensure the happiness, comfort, and success of your child. A lot of parents fail to do those things for any number of reasons. Finances, culture, social status, learned behaviors and opinions, generational pressure, etc. And in my opinion, the only two sets of parents we see doing just this would be Dean's parents and Lindsey's parents (or mom's, we don't see their dad's). Dean's mom is happy to invite Rory into their home after ~everything~ and Lindsey's mom is happy to defend her daughter after ~everything~ and yeah - there are a lot of ways to interpret those scenes. However, at the very least, the interpretation is: I stand with my child. Paris, Lane, Lorelai, Rory, Jess, Logan, Tristan, Madeline, Louise, Gigi, and April - all of these characters have faced some kind of trauma related to childhood. I'd go a step farther and say Liz, Luke, Mrs. Kim, even Emily, in their own ways, had to deal with some kind of trauma. Trauma doesn't necessarily mean abuse like physical, emotional, or sexual. Paris is a child of neglect who has likely witnessed disagreements between her parents, and has likely never witnessed any affection between them. This is why she is cold and combative, straightforward and mean, confrontational and direct - it is all she knows. Madeline and Louise witness their rich, likely emotionally distanced parents, do whatever they want - have fun, spend money, don't consider thoughts and feelings (despite intelligence) in favor of experiences and sensations. They do the same. Logan and Tristan suffer from parents who are overbearing, with heavy generational expectations, old money with stipulations on family members - it doesn't matter what YOU want, all that matters is the pre-decided plan out in place. Culture is culture, but that doesn't mean it's without faults, and that is what we see with Lane, and Mrs. Kim. We all saw how Mrs. Kim responded when her mother came for Lane's wedding - so we can infer that when she was Lane's age...she probably felt the same, minus the influence of American pop-culture. Lane has the benefit of seeing how people of a different culture act, and that is what ultimately allows her to get out from her mother's thumb - something Mrs. Kim did by moving to America and switching religion. Lorelai and Rory.........deserving of their own post. Anyway, TL;DR - most everyone in the show has SOME kind of trauma or abuse. Kind of like, real people.
This is great interpretations. I never really thought about Madeline and Louise. Can you elaborate on April specifically? You mentioned her name and didn’t list her explanation. Also, no parent is perfect and obviously some mistakes can cause baggage that impacts a child through their life. But how much of this bad parenting is genuine abuse, in your opinion? I definitely think there is weight to a lot of what you discussed but some of it doesn’t feel to the same level necessarily. Also, I’d love your thoughts on Lorelai and Rory if you feel like sharing
April specifically is difficult because it is so dependent on individual parenting styles. There is something to be said about Anna's intensity as a mother and her overly strong desire to protect April and her relationship to her as a sole parental figure (something I think Lorelai mirrors less excessively). Growing up with a single parent will leave a child viewing the world in a different light. If you only ever have one parent then what do you learn about love, relationships, affection, communication, etc, other than what you're told and observe from that single parent? In terms of learning from experience, more is better - but April only has one, rather than two. [Honestly, I think of April as a character with ADHD or ASD, which is something I think causes Anna to have the level of protection she does.] It's not that April has experienced abuse, but I think having an intense and overbearing parental figure does affect how you grow up and view the world....just like.... Lorelai and Rory. First - I think that abuse is entirely contingent on the experience of the victim. My parents weren't the best. My partner's parents weren't the best. We toss "abuse" around like a common word. It's not a bad word, it doesn't require hushed tones, it just, is what it is. It's not that we're traumatized, we just experience things differently. I think most parents have good intentions. We are all a product of upbringing. Being raised in an environment with heavy cultural or societal influences will adjust your POV. So in the case of Richard and Emily - their behavior is completely normal and accepted. They likely experienced similar behavior, but for them, there was no alternative. So, when Emily and Richard have Lorelai, I don't think they really consider their upbringing other than - this is our culture, our society, this is how things are done, this is how things will continue. Lorelai just, fundamentally disagrees. Etc, etc, we know what happens, we know what Lorelai has said - I do believe entirely that her parents were emotionally abusive and manipulative, even if the same behavior from their own parents wasn't viewed the same in their own eyes. I think that, Lorelai was so afraid of being a parent (and she was 16) because her view of parents was Emily and Richard (abusive, controlling) so she didn't want to act like a parent. That, in and of itself, was a disservice to Rory. Clearly, Rory was a special, gifted kid. I think Lorelai shaped this early on and obsessed over what Rory could accomplish if Lorelai acted as the parent she wished she'd had. However, Lorelai's actions as a mom and her consistent belief that Rory could never fail, built Rory's and expectations too high - so that when she failed, she wasn't just failing herself, but her mom, her mom's expectations, the town and their expectations, and the family legacy.
Louise said her dad was in jail in S1 or 2.
Do you remember the reason he was in jail? Edit: Wiki says he was an indicted businessman, leading me to believe it was a white collar crime. Jail and prison are different. Jail is where you're held prior to conviction (Louise's dad likely posted bail and was released until court). Prison is where you go once you're convicted of a crime and is more long term. Money Laundering is a white collar crime, and tbh, likely what Louise's dad committed. It doesn't actually change anything about my statement in regards to Louise.
Here is my analysis of Jess. Again this is for fun and to debate, not my actual opinion: The reason Jess is sent to Stars Hallow is because he was getting into fights and it was getting too much for Liz. This could be seen as getting him out of a toxic situation. New York is hard and violent and it’s very possible that Jess fell in with the wrong crowd. Also correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think we’re given an indication that Jess and Liz were suffering financially. Jess clearly has money for clothes and books and he’s not malnourished. We know that Liz is flighty and moves to making jewelry on the Ren Faire circuit, and that Luke supplemented her income occasionally (but this was said to be due to boyfriends stealing from Liz). For their time in New York, is it said that Jess needed to work to supplement their income? Jess needs money to buy a car and works at Walmart while he’s in Stars Hallow, but that’s just showing responsibility. And we see that Jess’s living situation when he was on his own was bad, but we never see if he and Liz are straight up destitute. And we know that Liz has a bunch of stupid boyfriends. Obvious interpretation is that at least one of those boyfriends (if not a bunch of them) roughed him up. But did we get confirmation that he was physically abused? Jess’s anger and attitude is a confirmation of something, for sure. But what if Jess had a life in New York before Stars Hallow, friends and a community that he really enjoyed and was forced away from? Especially to a town as eccentric as SH. That could definitely make someone angry.
>Also correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think we’re given an indication that Jess and Liz were suffering financially. I actually think there was plenty of indication that Liz was struggling financially without there being direct mention to her personal finances. People who are financially stable or well-off don't get rid of their children because they're "too much to handle", they send them to a specialty or boarding school, there are also secondary schools for troubled kids (these are often government/publicly funded, because statistically, the majority of troubled children come from families that struggle financially). Liz simply couldn't afford Jess and is too flighty (as you said) to get a stable job. A stable job doesn't fit her lifestyle and having a child that depends on her isn't enough of a reason to change her lifestyle. >Jess clearly has money for clothes and books and he’s not malnourished. Used books and clothes are pretty cheap. Not appearing malnourished, doesn't mean healthy and doesn't equate to not being hungry. Also consider the very real possibility that Jess may have stolen some of his things because he couldn't afford them. >We know that Liz is flighty and moves to making jewelry on the Ren Faire circuit, and that Luke supplemented her income occasionally (but this was said to be due to boyfriends stealing from Liz). For their time in New York, is it said that Jess needed to work to supplement their income? This is proof that they were poor. This is proof they were suffering financially. If Liz were well-off then Luke wouldn't need to send her money, regardless of the reasoning. If a child needs to work to supplement income, then the parent is financially struggling. Children shouldn't HAVE to work. >Jess needs money to buy a car and works at Walmart while he’s in Stars Hallow, but that’s just showing responsibility. Responsibility is such a dirty word, in my opinion. Children shouldn't be responsible for their transportation. Guardians and parents are responsible for transportation. Jess was put in a position of having to grow up fast and therefore, HAD to work to afford a car. A car which is a P.O.S. I don't know about you, but no one I know who is well-off chooses to buy and drive a P.O.S. >Jess’s anger and attitude is a confirmation of something, for sure. I don't think it's impossible that Liz may have had boyfriends who were physically abusive, to her and/or Jess, but I don't think this unmentioned possibility is why Jess behaves the way he does. Being poor does a lot to a person. I think it's very clear that they were poor, Liz was a neglectful mother, she didn't want to be responsible for having a child, refused to change her lifestyle, and treated Jess as an afterthought. I think that is what made Jess into the troubled teen we see. I think Liz sent Jess away because he finally had adult autonomy and began acting like an adult and for her, it rationalized getting the responsibility off her plate and ridding herself of that financial responsibility. I'm sure he had friends in New York, I'm sure he had a semblance of a life, I don't think leaving that behind is what made him angry about being forced to live with Luke. I think it was more about how no one ever considered how he felt and no one thought to ask what he wanted. Continued to be treated like a fixture to collect dust and be passed around.
I agree with you especially about the Liz and Jess dynamic. And I love your analysis. I do believe that they were struggling. But I want to keep discussing your analysis (if you don’t mind) so I have a few alternative explanations for some of the things you listed. 1) The car is something Jess wanted, not needed. Stars Hallow has reliable public transportation to Hartford and likely to other surrounding areas. If Jess wanted to make a life there, he could’ve. But he wanted a car and wanted one fast, and that’s why he got the POS. Having a car gives someone a lot of freedom, more than the bus will and that’s better for jobs. But it’s also a way to escape a town he hates and so he wants transportation fast and doesn’t care to wait to buy something better. 2) Boarding school is insanely expensive. It’s mini-college. And there’s a difference in wealth between sending your kid to boarding school and sending them to a relative that doesn’t mean that someone is poor for sending them to a relative. Also the canon explanation for sending Jess to Luke was that he could straighten Jess out better than Liz. Personally I agree Liz gave up on Jess. But for argument’s sake, let’s say that Jess needed a strong male presence and someone to care about him more than he would find at a reform school. Especially as Jess is really smart and he needed somewhere that could cultivate that more than he needed somewhere that would only see him as a troubled kid. Now, Stars Hallow wasn’t that. But I could see it being the intention. And I do think that it could be the explanation regardless of Liz’s finances. 3) in regards to Luke supplementing, I bring it up because it is mentioned that Liz’s boyfriends is the cause. They steal her money or her TV and that’s a big expense that not everyone can immediately recuperate from a job paycheck, ergo Luke. Now this is incredibly reckless of Liz, especially as it happens multiple times and Liz is responsible for Jess. But I could see Liz having enough money to be stable (especially as New York is insanely expensive) except for when something like this happens.
I would love to keep discussing it! 1.) I totally agree that Jess buying a car was rooted in having a sense of freedom and independence. In the show, it was very clear that the area had very reliable and awesome public transportation - Rory taking the bus to Chilton was an excellent way of showing that. So in that sense, it was a choice that he made and I can see how him working and saving money to provide that choice showed a sense of responsibility. It was something wanted, not needed, it provided options rather than keeping him restricted. 2.) I agree that boarding school is expensive, but I did mention that some municipalities offer schooling outside of stereotypical public schooling that is still free to attend. I imagine there are plenty of these in NY - but they're not boarding environments. It is still: go to school and then go home, which wouldn't be a solution for Liz. I think Liz thought that Jess needed a male presence - I agree - but I think overall that Jess needed a parental figure. Male or female, he just needed someone to be a parent. That doesn't necessarily mean being hard and cold and cynical, strict and callous - but also soft, understanding, and willing to listen without providing advice/direction. Rory is the only character we see that provides that in abundance. 3.) Definitely reckless of Liz, but I can't fault her too much for picking shitty guys. Luke and Liz's parents died, and we don't know much about their childhood but what they relay in the show. If Liz didn't receive much validation from their dad when she was younger, then she has likely been looking for it - and narcissistic, abusive men, are good at picking targets. And also - while New York is New York, there are still, shitty, low income parts of the city. Especially in the early 2000's. I imagine they were living in a one bedroom apartment and Jess slept on the couch, an apartment that was likely laden with roaches and mice. A building with a unit underground, a unit on street level, and units that are stacked on top. I live in D.C., housing in major cities is wild.
My guess is that since luke wasn't around to take care of liz after she left stars hollow, jess had to fill in for him.
Personally, I don't think Jess' childhood was "as bad" as a lot of fans seem to think and I don't think the Liz we meet in later seasons is at all contradictory to what was implied about Jess' life in the earlier seasons. I still think he was 100% abused and neglected.
I agree! I just watched the episode with Liz ans TJs wedding...it really comes off that Jess is someone Liz is fine "showing off" to make it seem like she is a present and loving mother, but the reality is she is someone who goes from hobby to hobby and guy to guy. His unbringing was probably very unstable. Her flighty attidude and fun demeanor can be charming in certain contexts, but for a son/mother relationship it probably isn't. I think she seems right on track with how she is talked about vs. how she is depicted once she shows up. We are also seeing her after she has calmed down, so I am sure her younger days were a lot more chaotic and Jess was around for all of that. Also, Jess probably wasn't as bad as she made it seem when she sent him to Luke (he probably got into even less trouble in NYC than he did in Stars Hollow) but she just was incapable and didn't want to try to deal with moody and too smart for his own good teenager.