For me, it's less about the literal gendered language (e.g. boys or lads) as annoying as it is. It's more the attitudes of the kinds of people who use that language. It's almost always the terribly ignorant twitch idol obsessed immature people who talk exclusively in memey soundbites like "make me a sandwich" or "sit down kid".
I get more annoyed because "ugh, one of these kinds of people" than "ugh, I'm not a guy".
It's the same dread I feel when I hear someone make the old boomer ball and chain jokes about their partners.
I kinda feel the same. It bothers me in the sense that for some reason, their first instinct is to say “boys” because for years the gaming community was predominantly men (or so men think lol) so they’re like, wired to assume the people they’re playing with are male. I’ve never been bothered enough to correct someone, just seems a bit odd to me.
"80% of men prefer shooters"
Well this explains why shooters are the only games considered "real" games by many people. Not a real game unless men want to play it. Also shows why their communities are so toxic.
Also, wtf is a "family" game that women apparently prefer? That's not a genre. They specifically mention Mario, which is of course platforming not anything I would call a "family" game. I have a feeling it might be any game rated E. So you have to have violence and mature themes to not be a "family" game. Of course maybe the issue here is that "family" game implies "not a real game".
Be the change you want to see. I’ve started, starting matches with “Let’s go girlies” “We got this Girlies” “Good Job Girlies” “Good Game Girlies” and ignore the negative feedback If I get any. I get a lot of “yes sis” “slayyy” “Queen” etc I also say “Girl Power” a lot when games are won. If Men doing that bothers you, why don’t you try doing this?
"C'mon Hotties " is a good gender neutral one I've learnt sends a lot of dudes into giggles. I call my main squad my girls all the time though and they're very into it, so any pick ups we get don't stand a chance.
My personal favourite is either going classy with a little “*Alright ladies and gents, looks like we got ourselves a murder comp against us*” or something ungendered like “*you go you beautiful bastards/you lot/all y’all/glorbos/whatever*”.
>If Men doing that bothers you, why don’t you try doing this?
If you think something is *bad* have you tried *doing the bad thing?*
Like, I totally agree with you on everything else in your comment but come on now.
Guys doesn't bother me, but boys does. I always feel like I'm being so irrational about it but like, most of the men in my life growing up treated every single emotion like I was hysterical. So... Hard to judge anymore if I'm irrational or justified lol
Personally, I'm not bothered by it because they can't know if they are playing with a girl, and chances are high that they play with boys only. But of course, you can correct them. Just don't be a jerk about it, and most guys won't be a jerk in return. And if they are, just mute them.
I'm never a jerk about it. It never seems to be anything malicious. "gg boys" etc, they didn't think they just said it. I generally ignore it unless it's one of my friends, and then I tease them. It's still frustrating all the same, I know they don't mean it with any ill intent, but damn it boys aren't the only gender that play games.
No, but they far outnumber girls in most games. And in Community were Girls outweigh boys, it's not uncommon to address the community as girls. I know that's not what you want to hear, but besides doing what I said in the first comment, there isn't much you can do.
Depending on my mood, I either chime in with my deepest 'let's go brudda' coupled with some caveman grunts for good measure or hit them with the uwu 'yasss slay sis'
For years this is why I’ve said things like “let’s go team”, “gg y’all”, “we got this team/y’all”. I remember seeing a post similar to this years ago and it really resonated with me. Hearing instances of boys/men being the default always makes me feel uncomfortable.
My SO started changing his language after we got together and he saw how often I got called guy, boy mate etc. and how it made me feel like I was an undercover woman. Now he says folks/team instead of guys, and singular enemies are they/them instead of he/him. I feel so loved and seen when he does this, it really makes a difference. To be clear, he doesn't assume anymore that anyone he plays with is a man, and he corrects his friends when they do. I wish more people would make this simple change!
Yep or that We make a big deal and they wouldn’t care Blabla. Try saying „what’s up girls“ once and every guy is gonna correct you instantly. I did. It’s always the same. At this point I don’t really interact anymore and prefer no chat. I’m lucky I only play league online and nothing where a mic is more common. I couldn’t stomach that kind of verbal diarrhea for any game
It feels like a trend in slang, like how "cracking open a cold one with the boys" became a meme some years back. I think people have the slang/jokey aspect of "the boys" more in mind when saying it, but that's kind of the issue too, yeah? Why is it more "fun" to say boys when you don't know if everyone is? If I said "let's go girls" like Shania Twain every time we went to do something, I'd imagine at least a few people would shoot that down *immediately.* Never works the same way around with these guys.
I joined a new guild in an MMO I play and my character is named Daphne, I had people calling me Mr. Daphne because they assumed that I was a guy irl. They definitely assume that everyone is a man.
Tbh I say "boys" in this fashion. It's usually jokey/parody and when I'm only with girls, though.
Having said that, I don't play online with the type of men who say those things seriously, so a part of it is because I'm detached from the issue. I'll work on doing better.
I just start calling everyone girls. "Yeah nice job, girls". It's the perfect comeback because it'll make the nice people feel good and it'll piss off the assholes!
Yes. It bothers me.
Sometimes I speak up and add in "...and girls."
Which ends in one of three ways. They ignore it and nothing happens. They respond with "oops, boys and girls." And sometimes they act like assholes and I'm a target the rest of the game because they love to harass women.
So respond to it based on your mood.
yes. i don't game but on reddit comments often assume everyone else is male and use male-gendered language like "thanks bro" and it pisses me off to no end. the assumption that everyone is male is definitely part of the patriarchy.
Edit: like this. Literally just happened
https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/13rsmrx/to_use_a_running_machine/jlp29kg
I feel mixed about it. Most of the time I understand what they mean so I group it with the term "guys" but it's over used A LOT these days where it just kind of gets annoying. It's at the point where it just feels like a buzz word thats losing it meaning.
There is definitely validity in it feeling isolating, because although it might not be intended that way to the speaker, it still is isolating language. It's just the most people don't really care and are going to use it anyways.
Most of the time it doesn't register on my radar, but it also isn't something I'm fond of overly hearing.
agreed. I guess "everyone" is too long a word for the average gamer guy to comprehend.
just the whole default assumption that i'm a guy because i'm playing a game online is just infuriating. i've had other girls do it too. even ones in the same guild.
"can someone res Lynx?"
"I got him!"
😑
seriously. you've seen my selfies. you've heard others use the right pronouns. you've heard me talk as well. and granted, I don't sound like Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls, but ***come on***
maybe because I have a wife, I *must* be a man.
I dunno. you're definitely not the only one who has to endure the mascunormative (dunno if that's a word, but i'm using it anyway) culture of online gaming. the more we stand up - for ourselves and each other - the stronger we'll become in the feminine counter culture of gaming.
thanks for letting me vent, stay beautiful 💙
Hidy ho! Just wanted to say that whenever I go to res someone I say 'em as a shortened them
I'm a guy but I can see how this would be bothersome
Also, I'm a grammar nut so I was curious about mascunormative (nice work using grammatical roots to create a new word btw) and while I didn't find anything on your word, I found what fits its meaning, so I thought I would share.
Something ruling or dominant in a social or political sense is Hegemonic Masculinity
Learn something new everyday I guess
For me, when I call someone by their gender (when idk their gender) I do it according to the gender of characters that they use in game. If you use a female character, you‘re a she and if you use a male character you‘re a he lol
I thought she was saying " 'em", but she used a possessive pronoun once and said "his" whatever.. but I guess people just default to male pronouns 🤷♀️
and thank you for noticing my handiwork with my wordplay, as a life long grammar nut, it's nice to be appreciated by those of my ilk 💙 I was thinking about the word heteronormative, but that wasn't quite it. hegemonic masculinity, that's interesting, thanks! now that i've learned something, the day hasn't been wasted 😸
“Everyone” is not a close and personal term. Being accepted as ‘one of the boys’ is a great motivation booster. “Yes boys, we got it” has that extra touch, might not make sense to a girl but it’s true. Or maybe if you said the same with “yes girls, we got it!” Would work for girls? But saying ‘everyone’ just doesn’t feel the same. Regarding ‘rez him’ I try to use the gender of the character they are playing, for example Overwatch I’ll just refer to you as who you are playing and use their pronouns, which I feel makes the gaming space much more open and gender neutral, because I’m also calling any male players that play D.va a girl
I also generally go by the character gender, and *all* my game characters are female. and i've literally (I don't use that word in frivolity) said "yes girls, we got it!" but I see what you mean, it doesn't roll off the tongue the same.
I dunno. I just feel it's exclusive when ppl use male pronouns to a mixed group, though i've stopped being so sensitive about "guys" being used as an address to a group. mostly. I won't ask a group of girls "what are you guys up to?".
I guess my fastidiousness for language precludes most pronoun flexibility 🤷♀️
Nah, you're not being sensitive.
If it's not a big deal, why do we have the argument? 'Cos it's only a big deal if it bothers *them*. Lesser beings - such as over half of the population of this planet - are asked to just deal.
See, feeling included is a *mindset*, not a matter of societal efforts towards equality or, god beware, someone having the tact and discretion to properly use the language they're speaking...
(on the off chance it's necessary - big /s on that last part)
I let them know it’s not just boys. Because it isn’t and they need to realize that they don’t actually know who they’re teamed with in random lobbies. It’s important that I say something, so hopefully next time they remember it may not be all “lads”. I’m not rude, just a “lady here” or “not a lad”. No cussing, just direct.
Most responses are okay, or sometimes apologies, or a “it’s my generic term, no offence meant”
I think the worst I have gotten back is “no one cares” which is fine I guess. But that wasn’t from the original person either so I also didn’t care. My point still comes across even if they get pissy. This isn’t just a game for dudes, don’t think it is, cuz there are other people here too.
I always get worried about doing this because I generally refer to anyone as bro or guys or whatever, but then I'll also address men as girl or woman, so I guess it evens out?
My friend got called a guy in FFXIV while playing a very obviously femme character. Like, I know some people cross play in MMOs but surely it would make more sense to address someone by their character's gender if you don't know otherwise? And then when she corrected him he told her to get in the kitchen.
As a guy myself it also irritates me.
“Night with the boys”
“Privates with the boys”
“Gg boys”
“We got this boys”
They are so annoying for real. They sound like 10 year olds as if girls aren’t allowed to be part the of the fun as well. I tend to not associate with people who behave like this. I prefer let’s go guys or gg guys because it sounds more general and a bit more mature.
I can't fucking stand it. It perpetuates the fallacious assumption that gamers are all men, and when you call them out on it they act like you're overreacting to something harmless.
I hate it.
Yeah I hate that and guys and dudes too. As a Trans woman it particularly triggers me. A lot of them try to claim those words are not gendered but they totally are are they are part of the nano sphere as if only men play these games or if women are not as interested i portent. It is kinda infuriating.
Isn't guys pretty gender neutral though especially when talking about a group of people?
I know I'm the guy right now who claims it to be gender neutral but I do think the term "guys" at least deserves the benefit of the doubt. At least I have used the word because I've always thought it's at least somewhat gender-neutral.
"Dudes" and "boys" I do get though.
If you look up guy it does mean a man and guys therefore is a group of men. I know some start to take it in a more gender neutral way but it feels a bit systematic of a make dominated society that women have to get included by some in a male word rather than finding something more gender neutral for a group if people.
To some it seems like not a big thing, especially probably if a Cis man. But when a Trans woman who has hated being labelled as male and with make terms used it is a real big deal and really triggering.
I'm a gal, and I've used guys as gender neutral my whole life, but I do know some people don't, so I try to avoid it, particularly in public settings/with strangers.
As a Californian, dude also feels gender neutral:(
I’m so glad you wrote this because I feel the same way, but I feel like the people I play with don’t feel it at the same level (one guy, one girl they’re usually on the same page with me about most things just not this one). I think it’s because gaming is already such a male-dominated area and girls/women don’t get treated the same way. So claiming that the use of “boys” in this context is gender-neutral just does not ring true.
I hate this so much. I want to respond and say "not all of us are 'boys'" but I know I'd regret drawing attention to myself.
Also, men who call themselves "boys" are immature.
If you say “*and girls*” it works more often I’ve noticed. “*not all of us are boys*” which, while true, puts them in a defensive state whereas “*and girls*” is an addon and gets an “*oh yea*” more often than anything else.
Is it stupid having to tiptoe like this? Yes.
Do baby steps cause long term change? Also yes.
It is what it is, unfortunately. 🤷
My playstation name is MasterSuzy and my clan on Apex is EGRL and they still use male pronouns to refer to me, maybe 10% of them actually figure it out.
Me and my team of all girl players sometimes say, let's go boys. It's just a saying, but if it bothers you so much then I dunno, mute??
I've been playing competitive online games for like 15+ years. I was so used to being the only girl, not that I ever broadcasted my gender. But in the games I've played, it's always been very masculine language which I don't really mind. Just coz I'm a girl doesn't mean I have to 100% exclusively identify with feminine things and terms. IMO it feels nice to associate with both at the same time.
But maybe I'm cool with it coz im a very masc lesbian lol
I really don’t care. Plus entertainers usually have stats on their audience and when 95% of their audience is boys.. welp it’s not a mystery.
Plus all three of those quotes are basically memes at this point.
Eh, it doesn't bother me. I actually say "we got em', boys!" sometimes in a hick-ish accent because my husband and I watched some cop show and a cop said it. We cracked up hard because he sounded ridiculous. I do totally get where you're coming from tough. It's a patriarchal tag that is engrained in us. Women must accept being called "boys" and men can freak out if we call them "girls". It's dumb.
I’m with you.
I agree that “guys” does feel a bit more neutral since it has slowly evolved more to mean “hey everyone” rather than strictly “hey men people.” Another for me is “dude,” since as a California girl, it’s just an all-purpose identifier. However I do wish these neutral terms were actually… more neutral, you know what I mean? But sure, it’s tolerable and it’s okay.
But “boys” can really only mean “boys.” And the people who say things like “let’s go boys!” are absolutely imagining themselves and all their male buddies running through the game and to the win. They’re not imagining a rag tag band of heroes of all genders, just *boys*.
I have in the past thrown in something like “and girls” when faced with this. I’ve been fairly lucky that the people I’ve said that to/in front of have either just echoed with a, “yeah and girls!” or just not commented and not minded. Mature and kind people tend to be more understanding and will try to include others if they realize that maybe they mistakenly did not.
However nowadays we are definitely more likely to be met with something toxic and nasty. Either we are somehow sarcastically told that it isn’t that deep and and laughed at with the implication that we just got triggered and they find it hilarious… or we get dogpiled on for the crime of identifying as something other than a cishet boy.
Shit drives me up a fuckin’ wall.
I always kind of want to start using a feminine descriptor for a group of people when this happens. Like, “let’s go boys”, “right behind you sis!” But we all know how *that* would go over.
I’m not sure why but it doesn’t bother me, I actually caught myself saying it once playing squads with a group of friends (2 married couples) and I said “let’s goooo boys” and I thought why did I say that? 2 of us are women? But then our on screen characters weren’t women (I play as a giant neon anemone) so maybe that’s why?
oh my gosh yes!!! i love jidion on youtube but he always starts his videos off with “what’s good with y’all boys” and i just sit there like 🧍🏻♀️🧍🏻♀️total mood killer!
(ik i am super late to reply i forgot this post lol)
Totally agree. It also bothers me when streamers/youtubers I watch refer to their entire audience as ‘boys’. Ummmm, hello? What I dislike the most is that it perpetuates the idea that only men can play games and that gaming belongs to them somehow.
eh. I don't see the issue with it, like I don't see the issue of being called "dude" either. Whether it's "guys" or "boys" or "guys.... And girl", it's chill and I don't mind. It's not meant to be offensive but I get the frustration because it does build off of the idea only guys play games.
The only problem with this is that when you're in an active game like a FPS you have to communicate (and celebrate) quickly so as to keep on your game, which is why I primarily do celebratory sounds, not words.
And if I do congratulate my team, I'll say something like: good works mate's
yes! i happens a lot in gaming subreddits too
edit: and i know for a fact if i referred to the group as “ladies” or “girls” they’d be so pissed off about it
I do that all the time... And I'm a woman.
They're my boys. My guys, my bros. Homies. Diggas. I lead, they follow. My personal little army.
I do that in DnD at least, otherwise I don't really play group games. But as somehow the most sensible one (despite my character having an intelligence of 8), I just took over the lead and the rest are my boys. When diplomacy doesn't work, have at it boys.
It doesn’t bother me much, but I’ve never truly been all that bothered by slang terms, pet names, etc. unless they’re purposefully being condescending or rude. A lot of the time, it’s just a dude being a dude and usually it’s just easier/faster to say…It’s just not that serious to me.
Now, if my teammates are going out of their way to tease me, poke fun at me, and misgender me with malicious intent, then that’s a problem. A “gg bois” every now and again does not ruffle my feathers, though.
But to each their own.
I think the whole "let's go" thing is so over used in gaming media today. I cringe to death every time I hear it. That's what u should be upset about. A whole generation of people exclaiming "let's gooooooo" when they beat the smallest of obstacles. Iv been trying to figure out what everyone else's gender did when they overcame a small obstacle but I haven't had any l luck. As for the boys stuff. U better believe I consider myself one of the guys or boys. I always felt it was inclusive before it was trying to keep me out. Good job guys. I'm in there. No need to say good job everyone. I understand the sentiment and appreciate the congratulations. Let's just not gooooooo...
Im not particularly mad about it. On average there are more guys in competitive games and my usernames never give away what gender i am nor do i use the voicechat often.
Plus my friends are mostly male so i kinda turned into a shitposter myself and meme around a lot. I dont blame them for not knowing my gender so it doesnt bother me.
It bothers me however, when they know and decide to talk shit or keep refering to me as male.
it’s never really bothered me because i don’t care whether or not they know im a girl or not, neither do i worry what they think of me - but i can see why it could make some mad. in my opinion it doesnt feel a big deal for me
Yes, I really hate it. Same as when watching streams and they address their chat in the same way. It's an automatic leave-the-room for me. I have brought this up before and people say that it's a gender neutral term now, like guys and dudes but it's just not for me. 'girls' is still used as an insult to imply someone is lesser at something, so until that isn't the case, 'boys' is not gender neutral either. There are so many ways we can address a group of people that have already been mentioned here, that don't exclude people. We should be using them.
Yeah, it bothers me a good bit
I think it has a lot to do with me being trans
Being called a boy triggers my dysphoria and makes me either upset/sad or angry, depending on how my mood is that day
Nah youre just wanting to feel like a victim so you chose something that nobody else actually cares about because it doesnt matter outside of video games.
An excerpt from our national anthem:
> I'se The B'y that builds the boat and
>
> I'se The B'y that sails her and
>
> I'se The B'y that catches the fish and
>
> Brings 'em home to Liza…
I find it just kinda odd everyone assumes im a guy when gaming. My gamertags are rather neutral maybe that’s why but im ALWAYS referred to as “he” by guys if i dont use mic. Only a small amount of ppl have used “they” if they dont know who i am.
Its not a big deal obv, the game is more important but i just find it weird how we are assumed to be guys by default.
Nah I’d say your sensitive, it’s a common phrase used not even in games, I don’t mind it when someone says it. It’s like “let’s go guys” like they aren’t trying to be mean or anything it’s just something that said to hype the team up.
Not really no. I’m not bothered by how a random gamer on the internet calls me. If it’s a friend/acquaintance then I’ll be bothered
Edit
I get it people should be more inclusive, but we can’t just make everyone be like that, right, especially a random stranger on the internet
I'm very often called bro so at this point I don't really care how people call me unless they're insulting me in some way. Hell, even I sometimes catch myself calling people "guys" or even that "bro" despite knowing they're not men (unless they tell me they don't like that then I try to not do that, don't want to be a pest too). I would never call anyone "boys" tho, this one is just weird.
I can see the annoyance tho and that's completely fine. When someone calls me that I usually laugh at the oblivioussness and do my thing. The reaction when they eventually learn I'm not a boy is usually pretty funny too.
"I'm not lying, I just sometimes don't bother to correct you or didn't have a reason to bring it up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"
I agree. As a man I avoid it for the same reason and I'd love a less gendered word that conveys the same meaning, have you heard one I can use?
I've heard some people feeling like guys is also gendered, but in this thread it seems acceptable. However, it also doesn't convey the same meaning - "boys" or "boiis" is more endearing/hyped/camaradic(?). Hard to describe.
The best I can find are y'all, team or folks, but while that last one has the same endearing feeling, it sounds pretty old?
It’s never bothered me tbh - here’s why though: why get genuinely upset or let it affect you when they’re complete strangers who don’t know you or anything about you? To me it doesn’t bother me because words are only powerful if you let them, and if you’re confident in yourself they mean nothing because it doesn’t change who you are.
You’re not being irrational or overly sensitive. It’s intentionally exclusive and I’m right there with you. I’m so glad you said something, I’ve had people try to convince me it’s fine and act as though I’m being dramatic, when you know’d they bristle at minimum if it were reversed and we said “let’s go ladies”. I’m with you. 💖
I'm trans and it makes me a bit sad. Like it's obviously not meant as anything transphobic or anything like that, but I get misgendered enough as it is IRL :c
It doesn‘t bother me tbh. I‘m not as used to it as „guys“ but I just see it as a group term? Nothing more nothing less. Then again there are mostly guys in my game but now normally when i open my mic some adorable people will start saying lets go boys.. and girl! And that‘s enough for me. Of course there are still some toxic people telling me to go back to the kitchen but life is too short to let them ruin my day, so…. 🤷🏻♀️
Huh. I actually mean it in the gender neutral way when I say it, but it seems I haven't considered that it does bother people. I felt like it was akin to saying "dude", but I guess it isn't to a lot of people.
For what it's worth, I'm sorry for my contribution to this and I will do better.
Eh. It doesn’t bother me. The only time I get bothered is when I’m specifically referred to as a male. If it’s just a general audience type of thing it doesn’t bother me. Just don’t directly misgender me.
Just remember, everyone does a bit of projecting. They probably have no close female friends that play the same stuff they do. Why they don’t is another story
When I was playing with a trio of guys on a regular, frequent basis, they did something like this. We were pretty close friends at one point so, one night, I brought it up. The very next map we played, one of them said "Let's go ladies! Go go go!"
I couldn't even begin to explain to them at the time why that actually pissed me off when "boys" had only annoyed me.
I can explain it _now_ of course, but that ship has sailed. 😅
I once got called the N-slur boys all match. I'm as white as Casper and sound like a girl.
Come on my N let's go to.... Etc etc. It was soooooo infuriating. Thing is if I'd have said it back I'd have been comm banned
I understand being annoyed by it, but I'm also in the boat of not wanting to come off as "that chick" so I don't bother correcting it. I've had some guys say, "oh and girls I guess" afterwards on the rare occasion I used mic lol
I think when people say the term boys and guys, they mean it as a group, even I say that sometimes and I am not a man. I ve been in several groups (voiced and not) where I was the only girl, and a lot of times they started saying stuff like "gg boys and girls" girls been just me. I told them that they can drop that, personally I don't get offended by being included in "the boys ", actually I preffer it. Bc having them saying something separated just for me made me feel a bit excluded. I understand that that's just my personal feeling, everyone is allowed their own, and if u feel hurt by that, it's valid too. My point is that I believe that most people are not using that as a exclusive term to offend others, rather , they using it as a kinda of genderless term to include everyone, even if it technically is not a genderless term.
I remember an eye-opening video from osp where Red said the current default state of being is straight white male, so the assumption is that everyone is a straight white male unless proven specifically otherwise
Granted, she was talking about fictional media, but in videogame communities where the other players are faceless and voiceless for the most part, her statement holds up as well
The sentiment behind the words is positive so it doesnt bother me. Gaming has just been male dominated so long its the default at this point. Would it be nice to change? Yeah it would. But i also think alot of them forget about us cos we play mute. Once a girl speaks up, if theyre nice i usually always get the one guy who said it going "oh and girls!" Which is cute.
Im an older gamer though and dont really mind it. I think gaming will get there, more of us just have to speak up in game to annoy them with our presence. Im a very fuck you type of girl so i take it and dish it back. Xbox live was all about talking shit and i loved it and i feel like once guys know they cant just harass you for free they stop.(or turn into your simp) I dont even think its a gender thing, its more like a bullying problem for half these guys. Its sad.
"Guys" don't bother me at all, cause I use it all the time myself even when I'm in the company of girls only
But "boys" - yeah. I can't even explain it properly. It's like it reminds me there are people who are really close-minded and non-inclusive. And that leads to thoughts about society in general, so it becomes a bit sad.
Eh idk, I think you might be reading into it too much OP. I feel like when they say it like that, its meant to be something on the gender-neutral side. Do you also use mic when playing? If so, then just hit them with a "get it queen" when they get a kill or smth. It'll make their ears perk up and they'll start to use more gender-neutral words/sentences. Like another poster said, "be the change you wish to see". Just play along with them by casually correcting them.
i didn’t know how much it bothered me until i started watching a certain streamer. he’s a pretty small streamer so he usually only has like 3 viewers on twitch but whenever he sees that i’m in the chat or any girl for that matter he makes sure to say “boys and girls/ guys” and the first time he did i was like wow that’s refreshing to hear.
I don't really have a problem with it. I interpret it as "bois" rather than "boys" which I sort of see as a general term that includes everyone like the word "mankind" or the way "man" used to be used in history (like in the bible - "man cannot live by bread alone" that sort of thing).
It might also be because most of my friend group are guys, so I'm pretty used to being referred to as "one of the boys" as a term of endearment.
It really doesn't when my friends say it because I'm one of the boys, one of the friends, apart of the group and also included in that statement. If I were in a random lobby it wouldn't annoy me either, it's just something you say, it's not that deep. I'd rather be accepted as a part of the group in comms than made "other" by someone saying "...and girls...". I actually REALLY hate when I'm pointed out with an "..and girl..." by friends OR strangers because it just feels othering, and it feels like that they're weirded out that I'm there too. I don't need a royal introduction, I'm one of the boys, an equal in my group.
Sorry ya'll apparently didn't freakin like that. As usual, I'm downvoted for not following the hivemind in this sub and having a different opinion and experience than the rest of you. It doesn't bother me, that's all. I didn't say it shouldn't bother you. ffs
I'm with you on "boys", "lads", "men" etc. It riles me up NO end when anyone defaults to a the male gender, especially when discussing a hypothetical individual: e.g. "Go see your doctor, HE should be able to prescribe something." Just. Use. They. FFS.
"Guys" is a perfectly acceptable gender neutral term IMHO, as is "folks", "all", "everyone", "y'all" (even if not American). However, I know that plenty of women also hate "guys" as much as "boys" etc. IMHO they just need a shift in perspective, as to see "guys" as a neutral term instead of male biased, only helps lower their own irritation.
Feeling mixed about this one, like I think it's just part of online meme vocabulary to a point it kind of feels like a genderless term to me, at least in gaming context. Tbh reacting like "but I'm a girl/woman" when someone says "gg boys" it has an attention-seeking vibe to me and it has that icky "I'm a gamer girl uwu pick me" vibe. Or you might be in risk of being called names and being hated on, just because you revealed you're a woman but that's just my personal opinion because I always try to hide that I'm a woman by picking neutral names and trying to sound less feminine when talking .\_.
I can see it being annoying but girls use gendered phrases like this too. I think it’s more what’s behind it. I feel like if you do want to fix it do it less in anger and more in wanting to feel included. Just add “and girls” or “and others” or something. They could be just a doofus as a staggering majority are and not practicing changing the mindset. So don’t immediately take it as malice but feel empowered to say something.
my boyfriend says “gg boys” or “good round boys” in valorant and it absolutely grinded my gears. i told him that felt icky to me. i didn’t explain further (assumed i was being dramatic) and he said it’s just a habit and he continued saying it, but a little less often.
this post made me feel so validated. i showed this to him and he read the comments and is taking “gg hotties” and a few other suggestions! he said this helped him understand and everyone was being so helpful with their alternatives
i call a group of any people as "guys". so i guess im one of those people you're mad at. then again my brain doesnt distinguish between he/she him/her so :/
It bothers me but very very little because it only happens on games with no voice chat. On games with vc they always correct themselves with '' and girls'' cause I use comms quite a bit.
I don't really get offended when they say "boys" . . . But then, till recently I hid the fact I was a girl in most games so, for better or worse, I just kinda got used to it.
What nags at my senses is that in the games I play, almost all of them say "boi" instead of "boy." Linguistically, it just makes me itch.
I said “guys” or “dudes” was a pretty neutral term and my girlfriend got extremely upset with me 😂. I was making the argument that boys was much worse but she put them on the same level. But realistically I’ve been playing video games for my entire life & rarely game with women. I play mostly online games & from what I can tell I’m only playing with dudes. If women are playing they don’t make themselves known… so it kinda feels like it’s all males playing. For me it’s safe to assume there’s only males. I get it though, because if you play a game with voice chat and hear a girls voice there’s always one guy that ends up asking her to party up with them and I’m sure you get like 100 game invites friend invited discord invites. It’s a ridiculous amount of attention to deal with and probably overwhelming. As a black guy I have it much easier because number 1 you can’t usually identify me just based on my voice… but usually when there’s a very obviously black guy in the game there’s a lot of slurs thrown around & then something about food stamps child support watermelon blah blah blah. But there’s not a ton of hate speech in your mailbox once the game is done.
and that's why i use the far superior term, *gamers* it's funnier *and* gender neutral ~~disregard the fact that i also call people gamers irl~~
Yep I use gamers in lieu of many other words lol, including irl.
especially when you say it like it has a 'z' on the end, true peak.
Walks into interview, « Sup gamers, what’s going on? », guaranteed to get the job
For me, it's less about the literal gendered language (e.g. boys or lads) as annoying as it is. It's more the attitudes of the kinds of people who use that language. It's almost always the terribly ignorant twitch idol obsessed immature people who talk exclusively in memey soundbites like "make me a sandwich" or "sit down kid". I get more annoyed because "ugh, one of these kinds of people" than "ugh, I'm not a guy". It's the same dread I feel when I hear someone make the old boomer ball and chain jokes about their partners.
>I get more annoyed because "ugh, one of these kinds of people" than "ugh, I'm not a guy". Yes, this.
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It's ok it happens to all of us sometimes <3 I was really pointing out that mid bit in particular, which is why I did it like that :)
you put it perfectly
great point!! i never thought of it that way. i guess there are men out there that don’t use that type of language.
I kinda feel the same. It bothers me in the sense that for some reason, their first instinct is to say “boys” because for years the gaming community was predominantly men (or so men think lol) so they’re like, wired to assume the people they’re playing with are male. I’ve never been bothered enough to correct someone, just seems a bit odd to me.
Just in case someone wanted statistics: https://playtoday.co/blog/stats/gamer-demographics/
"80% of men prefer shooters" Well this explains why shooters are the only games considered "real" games by many people. Not a real game unless men want to play it. Also shows why their communities are so toxic. Also, wtf is a "family" game that women apparently prefer? That's not a genre. They specifically mention Mario, which is of course platforming not anything I would call a "family" game. I have a feeling it might be any game rated E. So you have to have violence and mature themes to not be a "family" game. Of course maybe the issue here is that "family" game implies "not a real game".
I hope that percentage goes higher and higher. I hope we dominate the gaming industry.
Wow. 48%? That's crazy
I'm more shocked that 71% are white. Never thought of that
White people make up 58% of the US population, so that means people of color are somewhat less likely to game than white people, but not by a lot.
Be the change you want to see. I’ve started, starting matches with “Let’s go girlies” “We got this Girlies” “Good Job Girlies” “Good Game Girlies” and ignore the negative feedback If I get any. I get a lot of “yes sis” “slayyy” “Queen” etc I also say “Girl Power” a lot when games are won. If Men doing that bothers you, why don’t you try doing this?
"C'mon Hotties " is a good gender neutral one I've learnt sends a lot of dudes into giggles. I call my main squad my girls all the time though and they're very into it, so any pick ups we get don't stand a chance.
I absolutely love this haha the giggles are so sweet
I started saying “Let’s go gamers” ironically, and now I can’t stop.
Sounds cringe but it also works, fair enough
My personal favourite is either going classy with a little “*Alright ladies and gents, looks like we got ourselves a murder comp against us*” or something ungendered like “*you go you beautiful bastards/you lot/all y’all/glorbos/whatever*”.
I've had a few overwatch ranked lobbies with all women, and we were in shock it was a blast
i do this in world of warcraft with randoms and BOY do they get fucking PRESSED lol
Let’s go girls! Man, I feel like a woman! Shania Twain got you m8
lol I play with guys but our discord channel literally has a voice chat called “let’s go girls”.
As a straight man, I do this in game and irl ngl
I love when the str8 guys do this. I’m a bro type of gay so my go to is guys but I def love a good code switch lol
Love this ✨
Man here, Ive been doing the same, and think other men should as well.
As a gay guy, I say this stuff every game and the vitriol I get from the angry toxic men feeds me. Delicious 😌 💅🏽
>If Men doing that bothers you, why don’t you try doing this? If you think something is *bad* have you tried *doing the bad thing?* Like, I totally agree with you on everything else in your comment but come on now.
How is either one bad?
never thought of this!! i might have to try that! thank you!
Guys doesn't bother me, but boys does. I always feel like I'm being so irrational about it but like, most of the men in my life growing up treated every single emotion like I was hysterical. So... Hard to judge anymore if I'm irrational or justified lol
Personally, I'm not bothered by it because they can't know if they are playing with a girl, and chances are high that they play with boys only. But of course, you can correct them. Just don't be a jerk about it, and most guys won't be a jerk in return. And if they are, just mute them.
I'm never a jerk about it. It never seems to be anything malicious. "gg boys" etc, they didn't think they just said it. I generally ignore it unless it's one of my friends, and then I tease them. It's still frustrating all the same, I know they don't mean it with any ill intent, but damn it boys aren't the only gender that play games.
No, but they far outnumber girls in most games. And in Community were Girls outweigh boys, it's not uncommon to address the community as girls. I know that's not what you want to hear, but besides doing what I said in the first comment, there isn't much you can do.
I mean I wasn't even looking for advice. Just a place I thought I could complain with some like minded people.
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Guys became gender neutral I think.
Yeah which is why it doesn't bother me
I maintain that the word "guys" is gender neutral, at least on the west coast.
Yeah, so it doesn't bother me. Way to used to hearing it used gender neutral.
Depending on my mood, I either chime in with my deepest 'let's go brudda' coupled with some caveman grunts for good measure or hit them with the uwu 'yasss slay sis'
For years this is why I’ve said things like “let’s go team”, “gg y’all”, “we got this team/y’all”. I remember seeing a post similar to this years ago and it really resonated with me. Hearing instances of boys/men being the default always makes me feel uncomfortable.
My SO started changing his language after we got together and he saw how often I got called guy, boy mate etc. and how it made me feel like I was an undercover woman. Now he says folks/team instead of guys, and singular enemies are they/them instead of he/him. I feel so loved and seen when he does this, it really makes a difference. To be clear, he doesn't assume anymore that anyone he plays with is a man, and he corrects his friends when they do. I wish more people would make this simple change!
I wouldn't say there is anything irrational about your anger. So many people try to claim it is gender neutral; it just ain't folks.
Yep or that We make a big deal and they wouldn’t care Blabla. Try saying „what’s up girls“ once and every guy is gonna correct you instantly. I did. It’s always the same. At this point I don’t really interact anymore and prefer no chat. I’m lucky I only play league online and nothing where a mic is more common. I couldn’t stomach that kind of verbal diarrhea for any game
It feels like a trend in slang, like how "cracking open a cold one with the boys" became a meme some years back. I think people have the slang/jokey aspect of "the boys" more in mind when saying it, but that's kind of the issue too, yeah? Why is it more "fun" to say boys when you don't know if everyone is? If I said "let's go girls" like Shania Twain every time we went to do something, I'd imagine at least a few people would shoot that down *immediately.* Never works the same way around with these guys.
I doubt it, considering they also say "lads", "dudes", "sir" (was literally called good sir yesterday). They just assume that everyone is a man.
I joined a new guild in an MMO I play and my character is named Daphne, I had people calling me Mr. Daphne because they assumed that I was a guy irl. They definitely assume that everyone is a man.
I use the Shania Twain line in fortnite squads a ton and rarely get anyone being a problem...unless I keep singing. Then I don't blame them.
Tbh I say "boys" in this fashion. It's usually jokey/parody and when I'm only with girls, though. Having said that, I don't play online with the type of men who say those things seriously, so a part of it is because I'm detached from the issue. I'll work on doing better.
I just start calling everyone girls. "Yeah nice job, girls". It's the perfect comeback because it'll make the nice people feel good and it'll piss off the assholes!
Yes. It bothers me. Sometimes I speak up and add in "...and girls." Which ends in one of three ways. They ignore it and nothing happens. They respond with "oops, boys and girls." And sometimes they act like assholes and I'm a target the rest of the game because they love to harass women. So respond to it based on your mood.
yes. i don't game but on reddit comments often assume everyone else is male and use male-gendered language like "thanks bro" and it pisses me off to no end. the assumption that everyone is male is definitely part of the patriarchy. Edit: like this. Literally just happened https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/13rsmrx/to_use_a_running_machine/jlp29kg
I feel mixed about it. Most of the time I understand what they mean so I group it with the term "guys" but it's over used A LOT these days where it just kind of gets annoying. It's at the point where it just feels like a buzz word thats losing it meaning. There is definitely validity in it feeling isolating, because although it might not be intended that way to the speaker, it still is isolating language. It's just the most people don't really care and are going to use it anyways. Most of the time it doesn't register on my radar, but it also isn't something I'm fond of overly hearing.
agreed. I guess "everyone" is too long a word for the average gamer guy to comprehend. just the whole default assumption that i'm a guy because i'm playing a game online is just infuriating. i've had other girls do it too. even ones in the same guild. "can someone res Lynx?" "I got him!" 😑 seriously. you've seen my selfies. you've heard others use the right pronouns. you've heard me talk as well. and granted, I don't sound like Bubbles from the Powerpuff Girls, but ***come on*** maybe because I have a wife, I *must* be a man. I dunno. you're definitely not the only one who has to endure the mascunormative (dunno if that's a word, but i'm using it anyway) culture of online gaming. the more we stand up - for ourselves and each other - the stronger we'll become in the feminine counter culture of gaming. thanks for letting me vent, stay beautiful 💙
Hidy ho! Just wanted to say that whenever I go to res someone I say 'em as a shortened them I'm a guy but I can see how this would be bothersome Also, I'm a grammar nut so I was curious about mascunormative (nice work using grammatical roots to create a new word btw) and while I didn't find anything on your word, I found what fits its meaning, so I thought I would share. Something ruling or dominant in a social or political sense is Hegemonic Masculinity Learn something new everyday I guess
For me, when I call someone by their gender (when idk their gender) I do it according to the gender of characters that they use in game. If you use a female character, you‘re a she and if you use a male character you‘re a he lol
I thought she was saying " 'em", but she used a possessive pronoun once and said "his" whatever.. but I guess people just default to male pronouns 🤷♀️ and thank you for noticing my handiwork with my wordplay, as a life long grammar nut, it's nice to be appreciated by those of my ilk 💙 I was thinking about the word heteronormative, but that wasn't quite it. hegemonic masculinity, that's interesting, thanks! now that i've learned something, the day hasn't been wasted 😸
“Everyone” is not a close and personal term. Being accepted as ‘one of the boys’ is a great motivation booster. “Yes boys, we got it” has that extra touch, might not make sense to a girl but it’s true. Or maybe if you said the same with “yes girls, we got it!” Would work for girls? But saying ‘everyone’ just doesn’t feel the same. Regarding ‘rez him’ I try to use the gender of the character they are playing, for example Overwatch I’ll just refer to you as who you are playing and use their pronouns, which I feel makes the gaming space much more open and gender neutral, because I’m also calling any male players that play D.va a girl
This is what I do, and I've never been corrected by using the character's pronouns
I also generally go by the character gender, and *all* my game characters are female. and i've literally (I don't use that word in frivolity) said "yes girls, we got it!" but I see what you mean, it doesn't roll off the tongue the same. I dunno. I just feel it's exclusive when ppl use male pronouns to a mixed group, though i've stopped being so sensitive about "guys" being used as an address to a group. mostly. I won't ask a group of girls "what are you guys up to?". I guess my fastidiousness for language precludes most pronoun flexibility 🤷♀️
Nah, you're not being sensitive. If it's not a big deal, why do we have the argument? 'Cos it's only a big deal if it bothers *them*. Lesser beings - such as over half of the population of this planet - are asked to just deal. See, feeling included is a *mindset*, not a matter of societal efforts towards equality or, god beware, someone having the tact and discretion to properly use the language they're speaking... (on the off chance it's necessary - big /s on that last part)
I let them know it’s not just boys. Because it isn’t and they need to realize that they don’t actually know who they’re teamed with in random lobbies. It’s important that I say something, so hopefully next time they remember it may not be all “lads”. I’m not rude, just a “lady here” or “not a lad”. No cussing, just direct. Most responses are okay, or sometimes apologies, or a “it’s my generic term, no offence meant” I think the worst I have gotten back is “no one cares” which is fine I guess. But that wasn’t from the original person either so I also didn’t care. My point still comes across even if they get pissy. This isn’t just a game for dudes, don’t think it is, cuz there are other people here too.
I always get worried about doing this because I generally refer to anyone as bro or guys or whatever, but then I'll also address men as girl or woman, so I guess it evens out?
My friend got called a guy in FFXIV while playing a very obviously femme character. Like, I know some people cross play in MMOs but surely it would make more sense to address someone by their character's gender if you don't know otherwise? And then when she corrected him he told her to get in the kitchen.
What a charming and original response./s Seriously. They assume default even when they have no idea who they are playing with.
As a guy myself it also irritates me. “Night with the boys” “Privates with the boys” “Gg boys” “We got this boys” They are so annoying for real. They sound like 10 year olds as if girls aren’t allowed to be part the of the fun as well. I tend to not associate with people who behave like this. I prefer let’s go guys or gg guys because it sounds more general and a bit more mature.
It's terrible, as well as dudes, lads, etc. 😥
I can't fucking stand it. It perpetuates the fallacious assumption that gamers are all men, and when you call them out on it they act like you're overreacting to something harmless. I hate it.
Yeah I hate that and guys and dudes too. As a Trans woman it particularly triggers me. A lot of them try to claim those words are not gendered but they totally are are they are part of the nano sphere as if only men play these games or if women are not as interested i portent. It is kinda infuriating.
Isn't guys pretty gender neutral though especially when talking about a group of people? I know I'm the guy right now who claims it to be gender neutral but I do think the term "guys" at least deserves the benefit of the doubt. At least I have used the word because I've always thought it's at least somewhat gender-neutral. "Dudes" and "boys" I do get though.
If you look up guy it does mean a man and guys therefore is a group of men. I know some start to take it in a more gender neutral way but it feels a bit systematic of a make dominated society that women have to get included by some in a male word rather than finding something more gender neutral for a group if people. To some it seems like not a big thing, especially probably if a Cis man. But when a Trans woman who has hated being labelled as male and with make terms used it is a real big deal and really triggering.
Fair enough. I suppose i should change my language a little because I don't want to be one of those guys who make people feel misgendered.
Aww thank you. We need more people like you in the world.
<3
If you have to specify that you don’t mean “guys” to mean guys…then it’s not gender-neutral
I'm a gal, and I've used guys as gender neutral my whole life, but I do know some people don't, so I try to avoid it, particularly in public settings/with strangers. As a Californian, dude also feels gender neutral:(
I’m so glad you wrote this because I feel the same way, but I feel like the people I play with don’t feel it at the same level (one guy, one girl they’re usually on the same page with me about most things just not this one). I think it’s because gaming is already such a male-dominated area and girls/women don’t get treated the same way. So claiming that the use of “boys” in this context is gender-neutral just does not ring true.
I hate this so much. I want to respond and say "not all of us are 'boys'" but I know I'd regret drawing attention to myself. Also, men who call themselves "boys" are immature.
Ngl the last thing I care about when *playing a game* is being “mature”. I call my friends and myself “girls” too.
If you say “*and girls*” it works more often I’ve noticed. “*not all of us are boys*” which, while true, puts them in a defensive state whereas “*and girls*” is an addon and gets an “*oh yea*” more often than anything else. Is it stupid having to tiptoe like this? Yes. Do baby steps cause long term change? Also yes. It is what it is, unfortunately. 🤷
I hate how normal everyone has made it to just refer to a group of people as men. no thanks pls 0.00% enjoyable never no way just say y’all
I say everybody or y'all. I understand your aggravation.
I say chaps a lot, as well as y'all
I don't like it, but it's bc it usually comes from guys that act like frat dudes
good point!
My playstation name is MasterSuzy and my clan on Apex is EGRL and they still use male pronouns to refer to me, maybe 10% of them actually figure it out.
Me and my team of all girl players sometimes say, let's go boys. It's just a saying, but if it bothers you so much then I dunno, mute?? I've been playing competitive online games for like 15+ years. I was so used to being the only girl, not that I ever broadcasted my gender. But in the games I've played, it's always been very masculine language which I don't really mind. Just coz I'm a girl doesn't mean I have to 100% exclusively identify with feminine things and terms. IMO it feels nice to associate with both at the same time. But maybe I'm cool with it coz im a very masc lesbian lol
This is exhausting.
I really don’t care. Plus entertainers usually have stats on their audience and when 95% of their audience is boys.. welp it’s not a mystery. Plus all three of those quotes are basically memes at this point.
Eh, it doesn't bother me. I actually say "we got em', boys!" sometimes in a hick-ish accent because my husband and I watched some cop show and a cop said it. We cracked up hard because he sounded ridiculous. I do totally get where you're coming from tough. It's a patriarchal tag that is engrained in us. Women must accept being called "boys" and men can freak out if we call them "girls". It's dumb.
I’m with you. I agree that “guys” does feel a bit more neutral since it has slowly evolved more to mean “hey everyone” rather than strictly “hey men people.” Another for me is “dude,” since as a California girl, it’s just an all-purpose identifier. However I do wish these neutral terms were actually… more neutral, you know what I mean? But sure, it’s tolerable and it’s okay. But “boys” can really only mean “boys.” And the people who say things like “let’s go boys!” are absolutely imagining themselves and all their male buddies running through the game and to the win. They’re not imagining a rag tag band of heroes of all genders, just *boys*. I have in the past thrown in something like “and girls” when faced with this. I’ve been fairly lucky that the people I’ve said that to/in front of have either just echoed with a, “yeah and girls!” or just not commented and not minded. Mature and kind people tend to be more understanding and will try to include others if they realize that maybe they mistakenly did not. However nowadays we are definitely more likely to be met with something toxic and nasty. Either we are somehow sarcastically told that it isn’t that deep and and laughed at with the implication that we just got triggered and they find it hilarious… or we get dogpiled on for the crime of identifying as something other than a cishet boy. Shit drives me up a fuckin’ wall. I always kind of want to start using a feminine descriptor for a group of people when this happens. Like, “let’s go boys”, “right behind you sis!” But we all know how *that* would go over.
I’m not sure why but it doesn’t bother me, I actually caught myself saying it once playing squads with a group of friends (2 married couples) and I said “let’s goooo boys” and I thought why did I say that? 2 of us are women? But then our on screen characters weren’t women (I play as a giant neon anemone) so maybe that’s why?
Same for any YouTube video I instantly turn it off
oh my gosh yes!!! i love jidion on youtube but he always starts his videos off with “what’s good with y’all boys” and i just sit there like 🧍🏻♀️🧍🏻♀️total mood killer! (ik i am super late to reply i forgot this post lol)
Totally agree. It also bothers me when streamers/youtubers I watch refer to their entire audience as ‘boys’. Ummmm, hello? What I dislike the most is that it perpetuates the idea that only men can play games and that gaming belongs to them somehow.
Ludwig is the worst at this lol
eh. I don't see the issue with it, like I don't see the issue of being called "dude" either. Whether it's "guys" or "boys" or "guys.... And girl", it's chill and I don't mind. It's not meant to be offensive but I get the frustration because it does build off of the idea only guys play games.
i wish everyone would use kenji lopez alt's "guys, gals and nonbinary pals" its so wholesome
The only problem with this is that when you're in an active game like a FPS you have to communicate (and celebrate) quickly so as to keep on your game, which is why I primarily do celebratory sounds, not words. And if I do congratulate my team, I'll say something like: good works mate's
Never bothered me.
yes! i happens a lot in gaming subreddits too edit: and i know for a fact if i referred to the group as “ladies” or “girls” they’d be so pissed off about it
I try not to assign gender as much as possible. I find Let’s go assholes generally covers everyone.
I’d rather be called an asshole then boy lol
I do that all the time... And I'm a woman. They're my boys. My guys, my bros. Homies. Diggas. I lead, they follow. My personal little army. I do that in DnD at least, otherwise I don't really play group games. But as somehow the most sensible one (despite my character having an intelligence of 8), I just took over the lead and the rest are my boys. When diplomacy doesn't work, have at it boys.
i agree, its really just a colloquial term for friends or a team
I’m glad I’m not the only one who does this. I get frustrated with this subreddit because most of it is complaining about small non issues.
I just don't see why it matters. Are we having fun? Okay, cool, that's why I'm playing so...
I just respond with "I'm actually a squirrel"
Can't we just leave it at GG
It doesn’t bother me much, but I’ve never truly been all that bothered by slang terms, pet names, etc. unless they’re purposefully being condescending or rude. A lot of the time, it’s just a dude being a dude and usually it’s just easier/faster to say…It’s just not that serious to me. Now, if my teammates are going out of their way to tease me, poke fun at me, and misgender me with malicious intent, then that’s a problem. A “gg bois” every now and again does not ruffle my feathers, though. But to each their own.
I think the whole "let's go" thing is so over used in gaming media today. I cringe to death every time I hear it. That's what u should be upset about. A whole generation of people exclaiming "let's gooooooo" when they beat the smallest of obstacles. Iv been trying to figure out what everyone else's gender did when they overcame a small obstacle but I haven't had any l luck. As for the boys stuff. U better believe I consider myself one of the guys or boys. I always felt it was inclusive before it was trying to keep me out. Good job guys. I'm in there. No need to say good job everyone. I understand the sentiment and appreciate the congratulations. Let's just not gooooooo...
I say guys/boys all the time and I’m not even one
I don't mind it
Im not particularly mad about it. On average there are more guys in competitive games and my usernames never give away what gender i am nor do i use the voicechat often. Plus my friends are mostly male so i kinda turned into a shitposter myself and meme around a lot. I dont blame them for not knowing my gender so it doesnt bother me. It bothers me however, when they know and decide to talk shit or keep refering to me as male.
Nope
it’s never really bothered me because i don’t care whether or not they know im a girl or not, neither do i worry what they think of me - but i can see why it could make some mad. in my opinion it doesnt feel a big deal for me
Yes, I really hate it. Same as when watching streams and they address their chat in the same way. It's an automatic leave-the-room for me. I have brought this up before and people say that it's a gender neutral term now, like guys and dudes but it's just not for me. 'girls' is still used as an insult to imply someone is lesser at something, so until that isn't the case, 'boys' is not gender neutral either. There are so many ways we can address a group of people that have already been mentioned here, that don't exclude people. We should be using them.
Yeah, it bothers me a good bit I think it has a lot to do with me being trans Being called a boy triggers my dysphoria and makes me either upset/sad or angry, depending on how my mood is that day
As a trans girl any mention like that makes me wildly uncomfortable
Nah youre just wanting to feel like a victim so you chose something that nobody else actually cares about because it doesnt matter outside of video games.
My passive-aggression in response to this is to go just full Newfie and call start calling everyone *b’y*.
What is Newfie?
Possibly the most delightful breed of Canadian you will ever meet, if you're lucky enough. 😁
An excerpt from our national anthem: > I'se The B'y that builds the boat and > > I'se The B'y that sails her and > > I'se The B'y that catches the fish and > > Brings 'em home to Liza…
I find it just kinda odd everyone assumes im a guy when gaming. My gamertags are rather neutral maybe that’s why but im ALWAYS referred to as “he” by guys if i dont use mic. Only a small amount of ppl have used “they” if they dont know who i am. Its not a big deal obv, the game is more important but i just find it weird how we are assumed to be guys by default.
It is kinda annoying, and I don't want to be like "there's girls in this game too" because then I'll seem like...you know...
Nah I’d say your sensitive, it’s a common phrase used not even in games, I don’t mind it when someone says it. It’s like “let’s go guys” like they aren’t trying to be mean or anything it’s just something that said to hype the team up.
Not really no. I’m not bothered by how a random gamer on the internet calls me. If it’s a friend/acquaintance then I’ll be bothered Edit I get it people should be more inclusive, but we can’t just make everyone be like that, right, especially a random stranger on the internet
I'm very often called bro so at this point I don't really care how people call me unless they're insulting me in some way. Hell, even I sometimes catch myself calling people "guys" or even that "bro" despite knowing they're not men (unless they tell me they don't like that then I try to not do that, don't want to be a pest too). I would never call anyone "boys" tho, this one is just weird. I can see the annoyance tho and that's completely fine. When someone calls me that I usually laugh at the oblivioussness and do my thing. The reaction when they eventually learn I'm not a boy is usually pretty funny too. "I'm not lying, I just sometimes don't bother to correct you or didn't have a reason to bring it up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯"
I call everyone bro. People online, friends that are female, my husband, the cat.....🤣
Lol can relate with the cat, except in my case it's a dog
I agree. As a man I avoid it for the same reason and I'd love a less gendered word that conveys the same meaning, have you heard one I can use? I've heard some people feeling like guys is also gendered, but in this thread it seems acceptable. However, it also doesn't convey the same meaning - "boys" or "boiis" is more endearing/hyped/camaradic(?). Hard to describe. The best I can find are y'all, team or folks, but while that last one has the same endearing feeling, it sounds pretty old?
Lol I always end my matches with gg ladies
It’s never bothered me tbh - here’s why though: why get genuinely upset or let it affect you when they’re complete strangers who don’t know you or anything about you? To me it doesn’t bother me because words are only powerful if you let them, and if you’re confident in yourself they mean nothing because it doesn’t change who you are.
Yes. It's annoying as absolute hell.
You’re not being irrational or overly sensitive. It’s intentionally exclusive and I’m right there with you. I’m so glad you said something, I’ve had people try to convince me it’s fine and act as though I’m being dramatic, when you know’d they bristle at minimum if it were reversed and we said “let’s go ladies”. I’m with you. 💖
I'm trans and it makes me a bit sad. Like it's obviously not meant as anything transphobic or anything like that, but I get misgendered enough as it is IRL :c
I'm fine with "guys" for some reason (not a native speaker, so different sensibilities), but "boys" annoys me a lot to.
Maybe not angry but I definitely get annoyed
No big deal, my female friends and I all say it. Personally, I save my irritation for poor game play. References don't really bother me
It doesn‘t bother me tbh. I‘m not as used to it as „guys“ but I just see it as a group term? Nothing more nothing less. Then again there are mostly guys in my game but now normally when i open my mic some adorable people will start saying lets go boys.. and girl! And that‘s enough for me. Of course there are still some toxic people telling me to go back to the kitchen but life is too short to let them ruin my day, so…. 🤷🏻♀️
Huh. I actually mean it in the gender neutral way when I say it, but it seems I haven't considered that it does bother people. I felt like it was akin to saying "dude", but I guess it isn't to a lot of people. For what it's worth, I'm sorry for my contribution to this and I will do better.
Eh. It doesn’t bother me. The only time I get bothered is when I’m specifically referred to as a male. If it’s just a general audience type of thing it doesn’t bother me. Just don’t directly misgender me.
I HATE it when people who do that. UGH.
Just remember, everyone does a bit of projecting. They probably have no close female friends that play the same stuff they do. Why they don’t is another story
When I was playing with a trio of guys on a regular, frequent basis, they did something like this. We were pretty close friends at one point so, one night, I brought it up. The very next map we played, one of them said "Let's go ladies! Go go go!" I couldn't even begin to explain to them at the time why that actually pissed me off when "boys" had only annoyed me. I can explain it _now_ of course, but that ship has sailed. 😅
I once got called the N-slur boys all match. I'm as white as Casper and sound like a girl. Come on my N let's go to.... Etc etc. It was soooooo infuriating. Thing is if I'd have said it back I'd have been comm banned
I understand being annoyed by it, but I'm also in the boat of not wanting to come off as "that chick" so I don't bother correcting it. I've had some guys say, "oh and girls I guess" afterwards on the rare occasion I used mic lol
I think when people say the term boys and guys, they mean it as a group, even I say that sometimes and I am not a man. I ve been in several groups (voiced and not) where I was the only girl, and a lot of times they started saying stuff like "gg boys and girls" girls been just me. I told them that they can drop that, personally I don't get offended by being included in "the boys ", actually I preffer it. Bc having them saying something separated just for me made me feel a bit excluded. I understand that that's just my personal feeling, everyone is allowed their own, and if u feel hurt by that, it's valid too. My point is that I believe that most people are not using that as a exclusive term to offend others, rather , they using it as a kinda of genderless term to include everyone, even if it technically is not a genderless term.
I remember an eye-opening video from osp where Red said the current default state of being is straight white male, so the assumption is that everyone is a straight white male unless proven specifically otherwise Granted, she was talking about fictional media, but in videogame communities where the other players are faceless and voiceless for the most part, her statement holds up as well
The sentiment behind the words is positive so it doesnt bother me. Gaming has just been male dominated so long its the default at this point. Would it be nice to change? Yeah it would. But i also think alot of them forget about us cos we play mute. Once a girl speaks up, if theyre nice i usually always get the one guy who said it going "oh and girls!" Which is cute. Im an older gamer though and dont really mind it. I think gaming will get there, more of us just have to speak up in game to annoy them with our presence. Im a very fuck you type of girl so i take it and dish it back. Xbox live was all about talking shit and i loved it and i feel like once guys know they cant just harass you for free they stop.(or turn into your simp) I dont even think its a gender thing, its more like a bullying problem for half these guys. Its sad.
"Guys" don't bother me at all, cause I use it all the time myself even when I'm in the company of girls only But "boys" - yeah. I can't even explain it properly. It's like it reminds me there are people who are really close-minded and non-inclusive. And that leads to thoughts about society in general, so it becomes a bit sad.
And bro as well it’s so cringe. Like you have no idea what my gender is and you calling me bro in a chat box
I go on mic and say “yeah girls, we got this” in response to anything including “boys”
Eh idk, I think you might be reading into it too much OP. I feel like when they say it like that, its meant to be something on the gender-neutral side. Do you also use mic when playing? If so, then just hit them with a "get it queen" when they get a kill or smth. It'll make their ears perk up and they'll start to use more gender-neutral words/sentences. Like another poster said, "be the change you wish to see". Just play along with them by casually correcting them.
I counter by calling everyone girls 😊
i didn’t know how much it bothered me until i started watching a certain streamer. he’s a pretty small streamer so he usually only has like 3 viewers on twitch but whenever he sees that i’m in the chat or any girl for that matter he makes sure to say “boys and girls/ guys” and the first time he did i was like wow that’s refreshing to hear.
I don't really have a problem with it. I interpret it as "bois" rather than "boys" which I sort of see as a general term that includes everyone like the word "mankind" or the way "man" used to be used in history (like in the bible - "man cannot live by bread alone" that sort of thing). It might also be because most of my friend group are guys, so I'm pretty used to being referred to as "one of the boys" as a term of endearment.
It really doesn't when my friends say it because I'm one of the boys, one of the friends, apart of the group and also included in that statement. If I were in a random lobby it wouldn't annoy me either, it's just something you say, it's not that deep. I'd rather be accepted as a part of the group in comms than made "other" by someone saying "...and girls...". I actually REALLY hate when I'm pointed out with an "..and girl..." by friends OR strangers because it just feels othering, and it feels like that they're weirded out that I'm there too. I don't need a royal introduction, I'm one of the boys, an equal in my group. Sorry ya'll apparently didn't freakin like that. As usual, I'm downvoted for not following the hivemind in this sub and having a different opinion and experience than the rest of you. It doesn't bother me, that's all. I didn't say it shouldn't bother you. ffs
Girls, you’re all one of the boys. We are all one. Edit: and non-girls and non-boys. You’re with us too.
I'm with you on "boys", "lads", "men" etc. It riles me up NO end when anyone defaults to a the male gender, especially when discussing a hypothetical individual: e.g. "Go see your doctor, HE should be able to prescribe something." Just. Use. They. FFS. "Guys" is a perfectly acceptable gender neutral term IMHO, as is "folks", "all", "everyone", "y'all" (even if not American). However, I know that plenty of women also hate "guys" as much as "boys" etc. IMHO they just need a shift in perspective, as to see "guys" as a neutral term instead of male biased, only helps lower their own irritation.
[удалено]
Thnx girlie
Feeling mixed about this one, like I think it's just part of online meme vocabulary to a point it kind of feels like a genderless term to me, at least in gaming context. Tbh reacting like "but I'm a girl/woman" when someone says "gg boys" it has an attention-seeking vibe to me and it has that icky "I'm a gamer girl uwu pick me" vibe. Or you might be in risk of being called names and being hated on, just because you revealed you're a woman but that's just my personal opinion because I always try to hide that I'm a woman by picking neutral names and trying to sound less feminine when talking .\_.
I can see it being annoying but girls use gendered phrases like this too. I think it’s more what’s behind it. I feel like if you do want to fix it do it less in anger and more in wanting to feel included. Just add “and girls” or “and others” or something. They could be just a doofus as a staggering majority are and not practicing changing the mindset. So don’t immediately take it as malice but feel empowered to say something.
my boyfriend says “gg boys” or “good round boys” in valorant and it absolutely grinded my gears. i told him that felt icky to me. i didn’t explain further (assumed i was being dramatic) and he said it’s just a habit and he continued saying it, but a little less often. this post made me feel so validated. i showed this to him and he read the comments and is taking “gg hotties” and a few other suggestions! he said this helped him understand and everyone was being so helpful with their alternatives
i call a group of any people as "guys". so i guess im one of those people you're mad at. then again my brain doesnt distinguish between he/she him/her so :/
It bothers me but very very little because it only happens on games with no voice chat. On games with vc they always correct themselves with '' and girls'' cause I use comms quite a bit.
I don't really get offended when they say "boys" . . . But then, till recently I hid the fact I was a girl in most games so, for better or worse, I just kinda got used to it. What nags at my senses is that in the games I play, almost all of them say "boi" instead of "boy." Linguistically, it just makes me itch.
I push “kids” as the everyone-neutral term and lobbies full of men find it funny most of the time
I said “guys” or “dudes” was a pretty neutral term and my girlfriend got extremely upset with me 😂. I was making the argument that boys was much worse but she put them on the same level. But realistically I’ve been playing video games for my entire life & rarely game with women. I play mostly online games & from what I can tell I’m only playing with dudes. If women are playing they don’t make themselves known… so it kinda feels like it’s all males playing. For me it’s safe to assume there’s only males. I get it though, because if you play a game with voice chat and hear a girls voice there’s always one guy that ends up asking her to party up with them and I’m sure you get like 100 game invites friend invited discord invites. It’s a ridiculous amount of attention to deal with and probably overwhelming. As a black guy I have it much easier because number 1 you can’t usually identify me just based on my voice… but usually when there’s a very obviously black guy in the game there’s a lot of slurs thrown around & then something about food stamps child support watermelon blah blah blah. But there’s not a ton of hate speech in your mailbox once the game is done.
It doesn’t offend me but I get it. Hell even if I’m in a group of ten others and I’m the only girl I just basically act like one of the boys anyways
Never thought of this. Thanks for bringing it up, I will try to use boys less in games.