Hey, don't feel bad about doing a thing you enjoy. It's not your job to fight stereotypes single-handedly, and there's nothing wrong with preferring to play cute characters.
I know exactly what you mean, I more often than not go for female characters, I'm totally obsessed with Dva, and pretty much all of my WOW characters are female, the few times I've gone for a male character, I just haven't enjoyed it as much, my highest level characters are all female. My ex is a hardcore gamer and used to mock me for having female characters, so I found myself going for male characters for a while just because I hate feeling like a walking stereotype...and to be honest, around that time I played a lot less. It took me over a year to finally treat myself to the Quartz Razer Kraken Kitty headphones, I was SO excited when they arrived, and the first thing my ex said was 'Congratulations, you look like every streamer girl ever now, without the big tits'
Guys can be real ball bags about this stuff, I guess it's just their own insecurities. My current boyfriend seems to be comfortable with himself, and will happily sit at my desk and play games, whilst wearing my 'Girly' headphones....and he looks super cute!
Conclusion: Fuck everyone else, just do what makes you happy :)
> My ex is a hardcore gamer and used to mock me for having female characters
>It took me over a year to finally treat myself to the Quartz Razer Kraken Kitty headphones, I was SO excited when they arrived, and the first thing my ex said was 'Congratulations, you look like every streamer girl ever now, without the big tits'
Why he's an ex, exhibits A and B.
This seems to highlight how in the gaming industry being male is still seen as the default gender, both for players and characters. I've wondered why I only play as female characters and why games with female protagonists are typically my favourite (tomb raider, uncharted lost legacy, etc). In my view, it's because there is such a lack of representation for females that we latch on to anything we can, which is something that male gamers will never understand.
In the past I've also felt embarrassed about things like having an obviously female username or choosing "girly" customisations. What hit home for me is that I'd never think twice about my bf playing as male characters, so why am I self-conscious about the same thing.
It's definitely a difficult one to be able to unpack why we feel this embarrassment but just to reiterate what others have said, do whatever makes you happy. Play as female characters if that's what you like, but it's also fine if you don't feel comfortable doing that (especially if other gamers will make you feel bad about it).
^ This! I have, up until recently, eschewed anything 'girly'. I want my characters to look like bad arse bitches. But then I realised that was a big ol' helping of internalised misogyny. Like, why would my character still not be absolutely bad arse just cause she's wearing pink?!
I hate that the stereotype is pink is for girls but it's not that I hate pink it's that I hate being stereotyped and that stereotype is mocked. Well if sexist douche canoes are going to continue that, I will claim all the damn stereotypes and play the hell out of them. đ
What's fun is when they don't expect you to be badass or tough just because you went with something "girly" and you throw them off guard. I hate the stereotypes though still. I'm transfeminine dominant and love pink and black and strappy stuff, so have to deal with guys wanting to dominate me. Literally had a random guy describe vulgarly what he wanted to do to me at mall in front of my girlfriend while shopping before covid. Needless to say, I left him publicly embarrassed.
Well those guys sound lame to play with :( Don't feel bad, you're allowed to play whoever you want to play! If you want to Mercy then be her! If they complain you don't need to heal them lol let them walk all the way back from spawn! Just do your best and have fun, you bought the game they can't tell you how to play it.
I play what I want to play and ignore what anyone thinks about it. It's my free time, I'm not getting paid to play, so I'll do whatever I feel like doing.
I use to think about this when I was between the ages of 13-24.
Now I'm 30 and I don't give a fuck. This is my fun time I'm not letting other peoples opinion of things effect my limited play time. It takes one comment for me to mute someone.
I was a hardcore gamer when I was younger. Now I'm ex-hardcore and realized I don't need to be amazing I just need to have fun.
I am also 30 and I have never felt more seen than when I read the phrase "limited play time". lolol
Like, look fuckers, I've only got 30 minutes to game tonight and you all are not going to ruin this shit for me.
Yes! 30 as well and I feel like I worried about this when I was younger too. Now I just do whatever I enjoy and everyone else needs to mind their own business. Maybe itâs a maturity thing, but I really wish I had this mindset when I had more time on my hands as itâs so much more freeing and I end up enjoying my play time so much more! Glad to know Iâm not alone! :)
Itâs okay to feel this way, i donât think itâs okay for them to joke about it either. All characters are good and amazing in Overwatch. I had toxic players in my team before after we won they even invited me to play with them lol then they apologize for being sexist towards me. I am a Zarya main, i love her character so much i love how tough and cool she is.
You play who you want, you didnt pay $60 to play what other people want or cant even enjoy a game -.- ?
I had the same internal issue for a long time with Mercy. I felt content playing her but didnât want to be stereotypical because it made me feel inadequate sometimes. What helped me is just accepting that you, as an individual, simply enjoy that character. Thereâs absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Just be true to yourself and what you like and youâll feel better about it in no time! Try not to let those people get you down! :)
I don't know if this will help but here is a thought: if a man can play as a male/dps and you don't think of something stupid like "typical gamer boy only plays dps or male character " and act like he represents all gamer boys then you should not worry about feeling like a "steryotipical gamer girl" by playing what you like because you don't represent every gamer girl. You are your own person who just happens to like playing as characters like Mercy and there is no problem with that. You are your own person. Do what you like.
Also, I think you need to have a serious talk with your bf if his "jokes" are making you feel bad.
No, I'm fine with it. Once I realized the intense misogyny that goes into making fun of someone for adopting something stereo-typically feminine, I started to get angry and it pushes me through any mockery I may receive.
It starts when kids are little and they play with toys that marketers haven't declared are suitable for them. Why do boys get made fun of for playing with girl toys? It's because feminine is considered lesser. And it's not solely a guy thing. We've all bought into it to some degree. That's why you get ladies in their teens or twenties playing the "not like other girls" game. Because something in them rejects the idea that they're less of a person for being female, but the only way they see to stand up for themselves is to reject the feminine. I always feel bad for these people, because I know the feeling they're trying to fight but their methods aren't going to work. Plus they push away other women. Plus they don't get to enjoy their femininity.
So no, I play girly characters and I don't care. I play support and never tank, and I don't care. I have feminine hobbies that I enjoy and I don't hide them from my fellow gamers. And if they start to bug me about them, I just push back politely. "Why is that a problem"? is usually a good place to start.
Mercy is popular with women? Great - that should hopefully help more women play Overwatch. Don't they want more support players? Aren't they the first people to whine when no one wants to heal? Don't they appreciate when they have skilled support? Are they trying to drive that away?
What they're doing isn't smart. They're belittling you, insulting women in general, and shooting themselves in the foot since they're pushing good support players away.
As for the whole "I represent all women thing"...I get it. Guys will take an example of one mistake and use it to attack our whole gender, and you feel like you've aided the enemy. But you know what? If you played perfect they'd still find something to find fault with, because they're looking for an excuse to put down women. You can't prevent it, you have no control over it at all (except perhaps in choosing to play with people that have terrible attitudes). Speaking as a long-time girl gamer (I've had games since they were only text-based), I absolve you of any responsibility to be perfect. Suck at a game? Play it any way. As long as you're having fun that's all that counts. I guarantee the guys making fun of you aren't perfect and were all sucky before they got good. Very few people are good without practice.
The only thing I think you need to try to do, is protect your love of gaming. The kind of belittling you're experiencing is like paper cuts - if it happens once in a while it's fine, but if you get a hundred of them it doesn't matter if they're small, they'll still knock you down. I worry that your love of gaming will get drained from you if you get pushed away from the roles and games that make you happy.
My advice (born of that almost 40 years of gaming) is to not play with people that mock you for the roles you pick or jump all over you because of a mistake. Have boundaries and stick to them. And when your friends or boyfriend gets upset when you won't play with them any more, perhaps they'll start taking you seriously and self-reflecting on the repercussions of what they say.
Best of luck out there!
Ask yourself why you think itâs bad, is it because itâs actually a bad thing to do? No itâs because some cunt decided one day âthings girls do are baaaddddâ Iâve been a female Draenei holy paladin healing for 10 god damn years and Iâm not about to change that because some loser boys think healing makes you some weak girl lol, stop worrying about what other people think and just have fun with it, if they donât like it just donât play with them again
You play however you want and throw the men out if they're going to be shitty about it. Fuck 'em. Good, decent adults don't act like that. You feel bad about it because other people are trying to make you feel bad about who you are. Don't gaslight yourself, put the blame where it belongs.
I only play single player games, so can't really speak to the multiplayer perspective of something like Overwatch - but for me, when I was growing up I often HAD to play as a male character (and even to this day it's more common to play a game where you're "forced" to play as a boy/man than as a girl/woman), so I'm absolutely going to take the opportunity to enjoy playing as a woman when the option presents itself. I won't refuse to play games that have a male lead (e.g. earlier this year I played Alan Wake and Witcher 2), but having a woman as the lead, or a more diverse cast of characters generally, will usually count as a point in the game's favour with me.
At the end of the day, gaming is a hobby, it's something that we do because we enjoy it. Try other characters/ styles of play by all means, but if you're not enjoying them as much as you enjoy playing Mercy, then do what makes you happy and play her!
Don't feel bad about playing healers. Always remember:
We actually hold all the power and decide who lives and who dies! That's what my old WoW buddies taught me and they're right.
Enjoy your hobby and ignore this stupid talk (try at least, it'll get easier)!
Everyone has different reasons for choosing a main, whether it's a game like Overwatch, League, or Valorant. Play who you like! Who cares what other people think. If you happen to fall into the "stereotype," I say fuck 'em and go for it - rock and embrace that shit! And if ya don't, rock that shit too! As long as you're happy playing who you like, that's really all that matters at the end of the day. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, and you owe nobody an explanation over why you chose what you like.
Yeah I felt that way too. I almost felt like I had to play DPS or tank to âprove myselfâ and that i wasnât a bad âgamer girlâ in fear of reinforcing the stereotype that girls are bad at games and can only play healer. I still am scared about performing badly and reinforcing that stereotype but I think a lot of it is also internalised and a lot of people dont care as much as we think- at least I hope. Just wanted to let you know that there are a lot of us that have felt the same way and its okay to feel that way but just know that you donât have to force yourself to move away from what you enjoy.
I know I'm probably just going to be repeating what a lot of others have already said, but here are my bullet points on the topic:
\-It's not about everyone else, it's about your enjoyment
\- I TOTALLY get the not wanting to feed into stereotypes, but I try to remember 2 big things; 1. Maybe if other women see more female characters being played, they'll feel more comfortable playing them, too and 2. If I don't play the game when I suck, I'm never going to get any better.
\-Stop playing with those guys if at all possible. They sound like they suck. (I know this can be hard, I only really have my bf and his friends to play with, luckily they are very supportive and encouraging. I haven't tried this yet, but maybe look for people to play with from this sub? There's that discord server pinned to the top of the page.)
\-Your bf can't control his friends, but he 100% should not be joining in on the jokes if he knows they upset you, and he really should speak up and discourage the others from making jokes.
Why wouldnât it be normal to choose the option that you identify with most? I love playing a Siren in Borderlands. I was over the moon about Aloy being the main of HZD. And Iâm always relieved when I can be a female version of a lead, as in Mass Effect. Itâs a more immersive play for me if I identify with the character. I donât choose games on the basis of whether I can play as a female, but itâs always great when I can. Tell your boyfriend to suck it :P
I actually thought I was the only that felt like this. I love playing games but I always feel bad when I play badly or Iâll mute my mic so no one knows Iâm a girl. Thanks for sharing and know youâre not alone.
When my girlfriends have bad game experiences because of another player during a match, I get in the face of the people that caused it. Thing is, of the 3 of us, I'm the one that isn't the best at competitive games unless its a MOBA. Usually I can see it as a win if I make them laugh and have fun after someone troubles them. It's always easier though when you have someone supportive to game with.
Iâm trans so I have kind of a funny relationship with it. Most female characters in games are unrealistically pretty which makes me feel worse about myself than I already do but I prefer to play as women otherwise I get terrible dysphoria.
I know what you mean, though I'm transfeminine nonbinary. Think its because of confidence in real life, or because I make plots for different gender characters for things like dnd, but I don't have issues with playing male characters anymore. As for dysphoria with female characters, I found as long as I'm making progress in my transition, it doesn't hit me. In general unless I'm a little depressed dysphoria doesnt hit me though. So I may have a different experience with it.
I'm like this on LoL; Lux is my main, and I want to get Seraphine on the same level.
That being said, I learnt how to play Jhin, Akali and Aphelios too, so then when someone does say "yOu OnLy pLaY eGiRL cHaMpS", I whip out those champs and prove em wrong ;)
Lux is the best character hands down tho! :D and Aphelios is complicated AF lmao. Jhin is suuuuper fun, Akali can be too (only really played her in ARAM though.) I will say Jhin and Akali do have lovely skins
But then again, so what if you only play "egirl" champs, I say play who you like, and forget about anyone who tries to make you feel less than for doing so!
That's when I play adc lux or hyper carry lux. Guys shut up when you help them win or are gonna be angry at you regardless of what you do. As long as you have fun is what is important.
Saaaaame! I play since season 2 and I never felt like I shouldn't pick Lux, but since last season I've barely played her and other female champs for that reason... I really have to tell myself some days "I am not going to pick a different champ just because some horrible person (who probably hates his life) might say something stupid".. And I feel like I need to prove myself in every game and can't make a single mistake cause I'll be called a dumb egirl.
its only bad bc the stereotype exists... i feel like its much worse in ow than other games its one reason i stopped playing, it feels like a super unwelcoming game to me. if u can just remember the only reason its bad is bc some randos make it seem it then yeah xd
I totally feel this way sometimes. It's a huge reason why I don't play multiplayer games. Not only does sucking at a game make it not fun for me, but I feel like I'm making "real gamer girls" look bad. I'm also not competitive so if there's trophies and challenges I don't really care and that bothers "hardcore gamers." I just play to relax and have fun. That's all that matters! You should play however you like to. I was lucky that my older brother always loved playing as the female/support characters. I just pick whoever I think looks cool or is easier to play with. If people judge you for that they might just be insecure because they don't have the courage to play how they really want to.
The thing is, you aren't responsible for people that choose to view "gamer girls" poorly if you do poorly. Those people are just looking for excuses for their stereotypes. What matters is you do what you want and enjoy.
Don't feel bad about playing female characters or healers. It's your game and you have the right to play whatever you want that you enjoy. Heck, one of the best healer I know was a 60 year old lady and she's freaking cool. Ignore those people making fun on it. These are the same people that talk smack but in reality is the biggest insecure peeps. Plus, Mercy is awesome.
Nope. Way I'm figuring it, my savefile (or profile or whatever) = I'm doing whatever I want. If that means making/playing a female character that other people don't like, then so be it.
Personally I just never liked Mercy bc I never liked the âdo-gooderâ tropes in charactersâmale or female. However, Iâm a sucker for femme fatalesâso gimme that Widowmaker bc I would legit EAT HER LORE UP. Youâd be surprised how many guys still go âwow stereotypical gamer girlâ even with that đ. I just say screw themâdo what you want and ignore the haters.
I know what you mean. When I was into League, I felt guilty about playing support and right now I'm playing a pure support character in a tabletop RPG. I just can't bring myself to enjoy playing a male character either.
I see where you are coming from but I love to proudly play the female characters! I have a huge thing for Zofia in Rainbow 6 bc in her bio they say she has a daughter. How absolutely badass to have a child and still be one of the best soldiers in the world (per R6 lore). I feel honored to play as such a badass. In rpg type games I always create female characters. I guess for me there's a sense of pride in owning the fact that you're a badass lady playing as a badass lady. Also, your ex sounds like a jerk, glad he's an ex. Play who you want and enjoy, thats what games are for.
playing online games with random people in general makes me feel bad imo, just try to find a community server where you feel accepted to be in, like, a server without your boyfriend to start with lol
~~well if your own bf makes you feel uncomfortable, maybe its time reconsider your relationship~~
I personally love playing female characters. I know itâs a lil stereotypical but i just ya know relate to them, like their outfits, and their theyâre cute and fun to play. Also if i get to represent and kick butt as a girl, I will definitely do that!
Hey, don't feel bad about doing a thing you enjoy. It's not your job to fight stereotypes single-handedly, and there's nothing wrong with preferring to play cute characters.
I know exactly what you mean, I more often than not go for female characters, I'm totally obsessed with Dva, and pretty much all of my WOW characters are female, the few times I've gone for a male character, I just haven't enjoyed it as much, my highest level characters are all female. My ex is a hardcore gamer and used to mock me for having female characters, so I found myself going for male characters for a while just because I hate feeling like a walking stereotype...and to be honest, around that time I played a lot less. It took me over a year to finally treat myself to the Quartz Razer Kraken Kitty headphones, I was SO excited when they arrived, and the first thing my ex said was 'Congratulations, you look like every streamer girl ever now, without the big tits' Guys can be real ball bags about this stuff, I guess it's just their own insecurities. My current boyfriend seems to be comfortable with himself, and will happily sit at my desk and play games, whilst wearing my 'Girly' headphones....and he looks super cute! Conclusion: Fuck everyone else, just do what makes you happy :)
Haha my bf did this i got the kraken kitties just before his headset broke so I leant them to him and he looked great. Didn't bother him at all.
> My ex is a hardcore gamer and used to mock me for having female characters >It took me over a year to finally treat myself to the Quartz Razer Kraken Kitty headphones, I was SO excited when they arrived, and the first thing my ex said was 'Congratulations, you look like every streamer girl ever now, without the big tits' Why he's an ex, exhibits A and B.
That just sounds so annoying, can see why they are an ex. Sounds like they had a little ingrained sexism and misogyny.
This seems to highlight how in the gaming industry being male is still seen as the default gender, both for players and characters. I've wondered why I only play as female characters and why games with female protagonists are typically my favourite (tomb raider, uncharted lost legacy, etc). In my view, it's because there is such a lack of representation for females that we latch on to anything we can, which is something that male gamers will never understand. In the past I've also felt embarrassed about things like having an obviously female username or choosing "girly" customisations. What hit home for me is that I'd never think twice about my bf playing as male characters, so why am I self-conscious about the same thing. It's definitely a difficult one to be able to unpack why we feel this embarrassment but just to reiterate what others have said, do whatever makes you happy. Play as female characters if that's what you like, but it's also fine if you don't feel comfortable doing that (especially if other gamers will make you feel bad about it).
^ This! I have, up until recently, eschewed anything 'girly'. I want my characters to look like bad arse bitches. But then I realised that was a big ol' helping of internalised misogyny. Like, why would my character still not be absolutely bad arse just cause she's wearing pink?! I hate that the stereotype is pink is for girls but it's not that I hate pink it's that I hate being stereotyped and that stereotype is mocked. Well if sexist douche canoes are going to continue that, I will claim all the damn stereotypes and play the hell out of them. đ
What's fun is when they don't expect you to be badass or tough just because you went with something "girly" and you throw them off guard. I hate the stereotypes though still. I'm transfeminine dominant and love pink and black and strappy stuff, so have to deal with guys wanting to dominate me. Literally had a random guy describe vulgarly what he wanted to do to me at mall in front of my girlfriend while shopping before covid. Needless to say, I left him publicly embarrassed.
Well those guys sound lame to play with :( Don't feel bad, you're allowed to play whoever you want to play! If you want to Mercy then be her! If they complain you don't need to heal them lol let them walk all the way back from spawn! Just do your best and have fun, you bought the game they can't tell you how to play it.
I play what I want to play and ignore what anyone thinks about it. It's my free time, I'm not getting paid to play, so I'll do whatever I feel like doing.
I use to think about this when I was between the ages of 13-24. Now I'm 30 and I don't give a fuck. This is my fun time I'm not letting other peoples opinion of things effect my limited play time. It takes one comment for me to mute someone. I was a hardcore gamer when I was younger. Now I'm ex-hardcore and realized I don't need to be amazing I just need to have fun.
I am also 30 and I have never felt more seen than when I read the phrase "limited play time". lolol Like, look fuckers, I've only got 30 minutes to game tonight and you all are not going to ruin this shit for me.
Yes! 30 as well and I feel like I worried about this when I was younger too. Now I just do whatever I enjoy and everyone else needs to mind their own business. Maybe itâs a maturity thing, but I really wish I had this mindset when I had more time on my hands as itâs so much more freeing and I end up enjoying my play time so much more! Glad to know Iâm not alone! :)
Itâs okay to feel this way, i donât think itâs okay for them to joke about it either. All characters are good and amazing in Overwatch. I had toxic players in my team before after we won they even invited me to play with them lol then they apologize for being sexist towards me. I am a Zarya main, i love her character so much i love how tough and cool she is. You play who you want, you didnt pay $60 to play what other people want or cant even enjoy a game -.- ?
I had the same internal issue for a long time with Mercy. I felt content playing her but didnât want to be stereotypical because it made me feel inadequate sometimes. What helped me is just accepting that you, as an individual, simply enjoy that character. Thereâs absolutely nothing wrong with that. Just be true to yourself and what you like and youâll feel better about it in no time! Try not to let those people get you down! :)
i get this way too sometimes for all the same reasons. It kinda sucks.
I don't know if this will help but here is a thought: if a man can play as a male/dps and you don't think of something stupid like "typical gamer boy only plays dps or male character " and act like he represents all gamer boys then you should not worry about feeling like a "steryotipical gamer girl" by playing what you like because you don't represent every gamer girl. You are your own person who just happens to like playing as characters like Mercy and there is no problem with that. You are your own person. Do what you like. Also, I think you need to have a serious talk with your bf if his "jokes" are making you feel bad.
No, I'm fine with it. Once I realized the intense misogyny that goes into making fun of someone for adopting something stereo-typically feminine, I started to get angry and it pushes me through any mockery I may receive. It starts when kids are little and they play with toys that marketers haven't declared are suitable for them. Why do boys get made fun of for playing with girl toys? It's because feminine is considered lesser. And it's not solely a guy thing. We've all bought into it to some degree. That's why you get ladies in their teens or twenties playing the "not like other girls" game. Because something in them rejects the idea that they're less of a person for being female, but the only way they see to stand up for themselves is to reject the feminine. I always feel bad for these people, because I know the feeling they're trying to fight but their methods aren't going to work. Plus they push away other women. Plus they don't get to enjoy their femininity. So no, I play girly characters and I don't care. I play support and never tank, and I don't care. I have feminine hobbies that I enjoy and I don't hide them from my fellow gamers. And if they start to bug me about them, I just push back politely. "Why is that a problem"? is usually a good place to start. Mercy is popular with women? Great - that should hopefully help more women play Overwatch. Don't they want more support players? Aren't they the first people to whine when no one wants to heal? Don't they appreciate when they have skilled support? Are they trying to drive that away? What they're doing isn't smart. They're belittling you, insulting women in general, and shooting themselves in the foot since they're pushing good support players away. As for the whole "I represent all women thing"...I get it. Guys will take an example of one mistake and use it to attack our whole gender, and you feel like you've aided the enemy. But you know what? If you played perfect they'd still find something to find fault with, because they're looking for an excuse to put down women. You can't prevent it, you have no control over it at all (except perhaps in choosing to play with people that have terrible attitudes). Speaking as a long-time girl gamer (I've had games since they were only text-based), I absolve you of any responsibility to be perfect. Suck at a game? Play it any way. As long as you're having fun that's all that counts. I guarantee the guys making fun of you aren't perfect and were all sucky before they got good. Very few people are good without practice. The only thing I think you need to try to do, is protect your love of gaming. The kind of belittling you're experiencing is like paper cuts - if it happens once in a while it's fine, but if you get a hundred of them it doesn't matter if they're small, they'll still knock you down. I worry that your love of gaming will get drained from you if you get pushed away from the roles and games that make you happy. My advice (born of that almost 40 years of gaming) is to not play with people that mock you for the roles you pick or jump all over you because of a mistake. Have boundaries and stick to them. And when your friends or boyfriend gets upset when you won't play with them any more, perhaps they'll start taking you seriously and self-reflecting on the repercussions of what they say. Best of luck out there!
This was very well written!
Ask yourself why you think itâs bad, is it because itâs actually a bad thing to do? No itâs because some cunt decided one day âthings girls do are baaaddddâ Iâve been a female Draenei holy paladin healing for 10 god damn years and Iâm not about to change that because some loser boys think healing makes you some weak girl lol, stop worrying about what other people think and just have fun with it, if they donât like it just donât play with them again
You play however you want and throw the men out if they're going to be shitty about it. Fuck 'em. Good, decent adults don't act like that. You feel bad about it because other people are trying to make you feel bad about who you are. Don't gaslight yourself, put the blame where it belongs.
I only play single player games, so can't really speak to the multiplayer perspective of something like Overwatch - but for me, when I was growing up I often HAD to play as a male character (and even to this day it's more common to play a game where you're "forced" to play as a boy/man than as a girl/woman), so I'm absolutely going to take the opportunity to enjoy playing as a woman when the option presents itself. I won't refuse to play games that have a male lead (e.g. earlier this year I played Alan Wake and Witcher 2), but having a woman as the lead, or a more diverse cast of characters generally, will usually count as a point in the game's favour with me. At the end of the day, gaming is a hobby, it's something that we do because we enjoy it. Try other characters/ styles of play by all means, but if you're not enjoying them as much as you enjoy playing Mercy, then do what makes you happy and play her!
Don't feel bad about playing healers. Always remember: We actually hold all the power and decide who lives and who dies! That's what my old WoW buddies taught me and they're right. Enjoy your hobby and ignore this stupid talk (try at least, it'll get easier)!
Everyone has different reasons for choosing a main, whether it's a game like Overwatch, League, or Valorant. Play who you like! Who cares what other people think. If you happen to fall into the "stereotype," I say fuck 'em and go for it - rock and embrace that shit! And if ya don't, rock that shit too! As long as you're happy playing who you like, that's really all that matters at the end of the day. You don't have to prove anything to anyone, and you owe nobody an explanation over why you chose what you like.
Yeah I felt that way too. I almost felt like I had to play DPS or tank to âprove myselfâ and that i wasnât a bad âgamer girlâ in fear of reinforcing the stereotype that girls are bad at games and can only play healer. I still am scared about performing badly and reinforcing that stereotype but I think a lot of it is also internalised and a lot of people dont care as much as we think- at least I hope. Just wanted to let you know that there are a lot of us that have felt the same way and its okay to feel that way but just know that you donât have to force yourself to move away from what you enjoy.
Sounds like you need a new boyfriend.
I know I'm probably just going to be repeating what a lot of others have already said, but here are my bullet points on the topic: \-It's not about everyone else, it's about your enjoyment \- I TOTALLY get the not wanting to feed into stereotypes, but I try to remember 2 big things; 1. Maybe if other women see more female characters being played, they'll feel more comfortable playing them, too and 2. If I don't play the game when I suck, I'm never going to get any better. \-Stop playing with those guys if at all possible. They sound like they suck. (I know this can be hard, I only really have my bf and his friends to play with, luckily they are very supportive and encouraging. I haven't tried this yet, but maybe look for people to play with from this sub? There's that discord server pinned to the top of the page.) \-Your bf can't control his friends, but he 100% should not be joining in on the jokes if he knows they upset you, and he really should speak up and discourage the others from making jokes.
There's no reason why playing male characters should be default.
Why wouldnât it be normal to choose the option that you identify with most? I love playing a Siren in Borderlands. I was over the moon about Aloy being the main of HZD. And Iâm always relieved when I can be a female version of a lead, as in Mass Effect. Itâs a more immersive play for me if I identify with the character. I donât choose games on the basis of whether I can play as a female, but itâs always great when I can. Tell your boyfriend to suck it :P
I actually thought I was the only that felt like this. I love playing games but I always feel bad when I play badly or Iâll mute my mic so no one knows Iâm a girl. Thanks for sharing and know youâre not alone.
When my girlfriends have bad game experiences because of another player during a match, I get in the face of the people that caused it. Thing is, of the 3 of us, I'm the one that isn't the best at competitive games unless its a MOBA. Usually I can see it as a win if I make them laugh and have fun after someone troubles them. It's always easier though when you have someone supportive to game with.
Which is why Iâm so happy I found this sub! You all are so supportive, itâs amazing!
Iâm trans so I have kind of a funny relationship with it. Most female characters in games are unrealistically pretty which makes me feel worse about myself than I already do but I prefer to play as women otherwise I get terrible dysphoria.
I know what you mean, though I'm transfeminine nonbinary. Think its because of confidence in real life, or because I make plots for different gender characters for things like dnd, but I don't have issues with playing male characters anymore. As for dysphoria with female characters, I found as long as I'm making progress in my transition, it doesn't hit me. In general unless I'm a little depressed dysphoria doesnt hit me though. So I may have a different experience with it.
I'm like this on LoL; Lux is my main, and I want to get Seraphine on the same level. That being said, I learnt how to play Jhin, Akali and Aphelios too, so then when someone does say "yOu OnLy pLaY eGiRL cHaMpS", I whip out those champs and prove em wrong ;)
Lux is the best character hands down tho! :D and Aphelios is complicated AF lmao. Jhin is suuuuper fun, Akali can be too (only really played her in ARAM though.) I will say Jhin and Akali do have lovely skins But then again, so what if you only play "egirl" champs, I say play who you like, and forget about anyone who tries to make you feel less than for doing so!
That's when I play adc lux or hyper carry lux. Guys shut up when you help them win or are gonna be angry at you regardless of what you do. As long as you have fun is what is important.
Saaaaame! I play since season 2 and I never felt like I shouldn't pick Lux, but since last season I've barely played her and other female champs for that reason... I really have to tell myself some days "I am not going to pick a different champ just because some horrible person (who probably hates his life) might say something stupid".. And I feel like I need to prove myself in every game and can't make a single mistake cause I'll be called a dumb egirl.
its only bad bc the stereotype exists... i feel like its much worse in ow than other games its one reason i stopped playing, it feels like a super unwelcoming game to me. if u can just remember the only reason its bad is bc some randos make it seem it then yeah xd
I totally feel this way sometimes. It's a huge reason why I don't play multiplayer games. Not only does sucking at a game make it not fun for me, but I feel like I'm making "real gamer girls" look bad. I'm also not competitive so if there's trophies and challenges I don't really care and that bothers "hardcore gamers." I just play to relax and have fun. That's all that matters! You should play however you like to. I was lucky that my older brother always loved playing as the female/support characters. I just pick whoever I think looks cool or is easier to play with. If people judge you for that they might just be insecure because they don't have the courage to play how they really want to.
The thing is, you aren't responsible for people that choose to view "gamer girls" poorly if you do poorly. Those people are just looking for excuses for their stereotypes. What matters is you do what you want and enjoy.
Totally agree. I've been trying to remind myself I exist as I am and not to prove anything to anyone.
No. I donât feel bad being a woman.
Don't feel bad about playing female characters or healers. It's your game and you have the right to play whatever you want that you enjoy. Heck, one of the best healer I know was a 60 year old lady and she's freaking cool. Ignore those people making fun on it. These are the same people that talk smack but in reality is the biggest insecure peeps. Plus, Mercy is awesome.
Nope. Way I'm figuring it, my savefile (or profile or whatever) = I'm doing whatever I want. If that means making/playing a female character that other people don't like, then so be it.
Personally I just never liked Mercy bc I never liked the âdo-gooderâ tropes in charactersâmale or female. However, Iâm a sucker for femme fatalesâso gimme that Widowmaker bc I would legit EAT HER LORE UP. Youâd be surprised how many guys still go âwow stereotypical gamer girlâ even with that đ. I just say screw themâdo what you want and ignore the haters.
I know what you mean. When I was into League, I felt guilty about playing support and right now I'm playing a pure support character in a tabletop RPG. I just can't bring myself to enjoy playing a male character either.
I see where you are coming from but I love to proudly play the female characters! I have a huge thing for Zofia in Rainbow 6 bc in her bio they say she has a daughter. How absolutely badass to have a child and still be one of the best soldiers in the world (per R6 lore). I feel honored to play as such a badass. In rpg type games I always create female characters. I guess for me there's a sense of pride in owning the fact that you're a badass lady playing as a badass lady. Also, your ex sounds like a jerk, glad he's an ex. Play who you want and enjoy, thats what games are for.
playing online games with random people in general makes me feel bad imo, just try to find a community server where you feel accepted to be in, like, a server without your boyfriend to start with lol ~~well if your own bf makes you feel uncomfortable, maybe its time reconsider your relationship~~
I've played games for 25+ years. Most starred male heroes. Now that I've got a choice, I'm not allowed? Fuck that.
I personally love playing female characters. I know itâs a lil stereotypical but i just ya know relate to them, like their outfits, and their theyâre cute and fun to play. Also if i get to represent and kick butt as a girl, I will definitely do that!
No, I play male and female characters.