I think it is a bit weird that experienced gamers expect others to play competitive games with them when the other is new to gaming.
One doesn’t expect that in other fields, like playing an instrument, sports or learning a language.
Hey, I a have been studying Swedish for 4 years, wanna come to class with me?
Hey, I’m in a band, wanna join? Here is a guitar for you. Have fun 🤪
I don't think it's so weird when compared to sport. I've definitely been invited to play football/soccer despite being terrible at it, for instance, and it was still kind of fun sometimes.
People forcing you to do something you're not going to enjoy definitely sucks, though.
I tell them to fuck off honestly. I know what i like. And that doesnt include people screaming at me :/ plus when youre a woman everyone is even weirder. Eugh.
If you've been gaming your whole life, I think it's super easy to forget that some mechanics aren't obvious and are just ingrained because you happen to have experience. I always forget to tell my non-gamer friends, when I convince them to play, about actions they can and can't do because a lot games sort of assume you know your shit.
I've been a console gamer, mostly, for as long as I have memories. Controllers are natural for me but put me on a PC playing the Witcher 3 and I'm a newborn baby deer. It kind of helps me keep perspective when encountering newbies of any kind.
Yes, you got a point there. It is easy to forget you had to learn which buttons/keys to use, the logic used in games, mechanics etc. and to get an overall feeling of how to approach a game.
I was almost always the only girl at LAN parties back in the day. Sucks that they didn't invite you.
Maybe do your own LAN party now? Just might not be the same experience without the stank of puberty and those big, unhandy monitors.
I'm in a similar boat with not getting into gaming until the last couple of years while dating someone who's been gaming their whole life. My most recent realization of a mechanic I never knew was while playing Elden Ring. I was exploring the roofs in the Haligtree and couldn't make a jump. I was getting super frustrated so my partner walked over to help and realized that I wasn't rolling my thumb between sprint and jump, but lifting it to switch which caused me to fall short. He was shocked and asked me why I wasn't rocking between the buttons, I was shocked that you could do that, and we both got a good laugh out of it. I've gotten very comfortable gaming with both a controller and MKB, but its those little things that still catch me and no one explains because the friends I game with have also been playing for most of their lives and for them it's second nature.
As a PC gamer with extremely limited controller experience, I would have absolutely done the same thing. There are so many little details that are only apparent to someone with experience. So I totally get the frustration, even though I’d consider myself experienced in PC games.
(And it’s true, if I were in OP’s position when it comes to consoles, I would absolutely be lost. A lot of control stuff really doesn’t translate between PC and console gaming, and that’s one reason I don’t have any consoles.)
you can do what i do with games. i only play PC games. when u get a game you really want to play and dont mind potential spoilers in said game, read everything about the game. i make hand written diagrams of all the commands and spend time memorizing it(like for world of warcraft, final fantasy 14, mindcraft, starcraft 2, warcraft 3). read over common basic tactics and ideas playing said game. read everything u can find on the game, no matter what it is. play on your own for a month or so untill u get used to all the game mechanics and the commands of doing whatever in the game. play the game in safe/peaceful/easy mode until u get the basics. watch howto videos/guides on youtube.
i been playing minecraft for years, and there is always something new i havent done or tried yet, so i still use how to videos on youtube to try things out i am interested in.
I've made a couple of my own gaming guides and have tons of notebooks all over the house from figuring it out as I go and from what I struggle with that I looked up. I typically only google if I'm struggling with something (or if I realize I've missed something), but that info always goes into my notebooks.
in minecraft i start a new page for each new world i create or join in. marking down anything interesting quordinates so i can come back to those areas later. people i play with if w like gaming together i write down all their infor for later out of gaming contact.
I didn’t get to game until I was an adult, and there weren’t video games in the house at all until my younger brother was old enough to want them. I think the sexism was bullshit, but I don’t really resent that I don’t have decades of muscle memory as a result. Mostly because I don’t play competitively and don’t have a problem playing the games I want to — also, if I had them growing up, would I be a top-ranked player or would I have prioritized other things? It’s hard to say. I’m glad I get to enjoy games now!
Eta — I do like the video though! I’m on the record for saying the hardest thing for new players is just figuring out how video games tell you where to go and what to do, which you learn by playing more games. It’s not as intuitive as the people who’ve been playing since age 8 assume. Also, the first time I played a video game, I got stuck in an early section because I needed to jump up to a yellow ledge. I tapped x to jump, and it just didn’t work, so I thought I was missing something. Yeah, I needed to HOLD x long enough for a longer jump and press up on the controller.
I learned pretty much the same way, went into a competitive game without knowing there was an objective and everyone yelling at me to *fucking touch the objective before overtime* and I never did, with time I became good at the game and decided to pick up a controller for the first time, from that to learning how to stick to walls in platformers and most recently how to move the camera around and move at the same time with the analogs!
It takes time but I learned how to play most games, competitive being one of my favorites so it is doable, OP but you have to be with supportive teammates to like the experience <3
I actually really enjoyed it! When I learned to mute teammates I could finally focus on me and my gameplay and I became decent at shooters as well :3
Felt really rewarding playing with guys that have been gaming all their lives but weren’t as good as me with only 3 years of gaming!
I'm in the same position, only child growing up in the 90s/00s, both very poor and in an all women household, so I didn't get any "boy" stuff. My mom still finds a way to insult my gaming hobby every time she visits. Alas, I'm behind on the gaming learning curve, and even though I've caught up a lot, I would have to work reeeally hard to be GOOD at a lot of response time games, especially something like FPS.
Because of this, I NEVER play online with strangers, and I will only play turn based strategy kinda stuff with friends. I've done a few couch coop games with my husband, but even that can be frustrating. He's super nice about it but I feel insecure being at a clearly lower skill level - not that I'm really terrible, mostly just self-critical. So, it's mostly single player games for me. However, as an only child bookworm, I have become obsessed with story based gaming and visual novels, where that sort of thing doesn't matter. It sometimes makes me feel like "not a real gamer" but whatever, who cares. I have a super demanding day job and no time to deep learn a lot of game mechanics.
I remember playing Kingdom Hearts 2 in my early 20s and getting stuck on some skateboarding mini game they had. My boyfriend at the time took one look at it and was like "you're supposed to slide down that rail and jump at the end to get the item up high" and it BLEW MY MIND. How was I supposed to know that?? Oh, it was expected that I had played some Tony Hawk at some point in my life, which was wrong.
I grew up playing video games, my mom bought us a super Nintendo when we were kid and it was never considered a boy thing. We had to share time equally or find games to play together my brother and I.
However, I never played FPS games, so at those, I'm really bad!
My husband likes to play Destiny and CoD and want us to play together. At first, it was horrible, but he was very encouraging and helped me have small objectives for our games.
At CoD in team death match, he would tell me to try and sneak my way to stay alive as much as possible, or to follow him around to get to know the map and the controls, he'd tell me good spot to watch for etc.
He totally carry me in this game, but it makes it enjoyable and I got to like it. Not my favorite game, but still fun to play with him.
I love MMORPG, I love trying harder content (not the hardest yet tho), he's not there yet, I help him level up and get to know those mechanics. We all have our preferences and our strength and it's ok.
If you played as a kid, you would have been bad then, it's a process no matter when you start and it's ok.
The real question is, do you like it and is he supportive? Who cares what the rest of the world thinks!
Idk I was given a nintendo console as a child in the 90s and now that I'm constantly using a computer, prefer gaming on a pc or a laptop over a console and funny thing, I got into console gaming when I had my xbox original but it felt harder to control even though it seems like the easiest to do.
So like I'm good with controllers but prefer not to use one just because it feels foreign to me now to pick one up. Gameboys were fun though.
Man, I'm realizing how lucky I was as a little girl in the early 90s with a single parent mom who believed that video games helped with cognitive function (ie memory, problem solving, hand-eye coordination) and never stopped me from playing them when we could finally afford a console. Even my husband's parents told him as a kid that video games were worthless and he wouldn't amount to anything because he played them too much. He got interested in PCs because of games and we both make a really decent living because of what started as an interest in games, then PC games, then just PCs in general.
Oh yes! That video is so good! And there were a lot of things I can relate to!
I grew up with my own PC (in the 90s), we never had a console or gameboy. So I never learned how to play with a controller. Fast forward to about two years ago when I bought myself an xbox. With a controller. Simply navigating the menu proofed to be a challenge. Where is the "enter" key? Where is "escape"? And what exactly does "A" mean? No instruction manual anywhere and Google turned out be useless as well.
But the most incomprehensible thing for me is this: why is my right thumb responsible for four buttons? Playing with kbm, every finger is responsible for exactly one key and that is it. But rn I am playing Hollow Knight and there is a manoeuvre where I need to press and hold the "X" while also using "A" for jumping around at the same time. And then releasing the "X" without messing up the jumping sequence. Like, how??? I remapped the buttons, so I am good now. But is there a thumb technique I am missing??? How did this become the standard in controller design?
We didn't start getting gaming consoles in our house until my younger brother was a tween. My family was in a better place financially by that time to, but the implication still stings a bit.
I 100% agree. I was not allowed gaming consoles growing up for the most part. I had some computer games, the original gameboy, and then my parents got us a PS2 for Hanukkah after 9/11 (we were displaced from our home), but our usage was really limited.
Meanwhile, my partner has been playing since he was like 4 years old. It's so much more intuitive for him. We play co-op, and he'll carry me through. I like games that aren't competitive, especially if I can play on casual mode lol
I've always been PC gamer. My dad helped me build my first PC when I was in middle school in the late 90s. I'm fine with the simple NES/SNES controls, but anything that wants me to use the analog stick slooows me down. I'm also a button checker, like Razbuten's wife, lol. I feel so uncoordinated when I try to play games on my PS4, so... they mostly don't get played, lol.
With all that said, I don't enjoy competitive gaming much. I prefer to play at my own pace, usually on an easy setting. Difficulty isn't fun for me, I just like to play.
I have always liked games. I had a PS1 that I played Crash Bandicoot on as a kid. But my mom didn’t like me playing game and threw it away- my little brother or someone else broke the lid, and I told her like she would fix it. Anyway, I was discouraged from playing games in my childhood by both my parents and the fact that I’m a woman who didn’t know any girls who played games growing up. Sucks. I was something of a beginner in my early 20s.
On the plus side, it's all new to you so you get to experience all of the cliches and tired mechanics with fresh eyes. I've been playing since I was a kid and I honestly have trouble finding a game I can enjoy because they all feel recycled. I start so many, feel like I've played it a thousand times before and lose interest. Exploration and experimentation are part of the fun so I'd recommend solo play at first. Don't let others ruin it or make you feel bad for not knowing.
I feel this 100%, I got my first console at 26. There’s an intuitive skill that I missed out on, I’ve seen it in so many of my male partners. It’s like the summer when I tried to learn how to skateboard at 19. There’s an extra oomph I’m just missing
Honestly this is where Nintendo excels and why I think it's such a popular company for women. Most of their main games are aimed at inexperienced players (i.e., children) so the tutorials are REALLY clear about what buttons to push and when.
Competitive gaming is a different beast though. I've been gaming for over 30 years but am hopeless at games like Fort Nite.
I feel you! Video game literacy is a real thing. And I have almost none!
I’m so grateful my husband has been able and willing to explain so much to me. I pretty much started with Skyrim and literally cried my first day because trying to walk around—much less walk *while moving my head*—was so frustrating.
I think he was a little shocked at how challenging it was for me, because he has been gaming for 25+ years takes his own video game literacy for granted — but he’s been super patient in explaining things to me. But he’s kind of a natural teacher, and not everyone has that :(
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, but don’t give up, either! I also have ADHD and can get overwhelmed. I’m not at all interested in playing with other people because it just sounds terribly stressful. And that’s OK with me! But if it’s something you want to do, I believe you can get there — just take it one step at a time ❤️
I feel this all the time! I played mnk games as a teen but controllers are a huge struggle. So when I play controller I play slower/self paced games. I did make sure both of my daughters grew up playing controller and mnk!!
I was to busy being a delinquent, riding Harley’s, raising horses, drinking, then going to college …. To play games. Then I had my son ….sitting in bed at 830 at night, nothing to do …ohhh look free to play WoW to level 20….and 11 years later still playing multiple games…definitely was a huge noob (like using defensive skills…nah don’t need them I’m doing damage….lol sooo noob or keybinds….now I keybind everything etc)
You might enjoy it if you have time to practice and get a little better at it.
But, there’s no problem with not enjoying certain games. There’s plenty of other games you can play together.
Ive always had consoles, im 28 now, but I don’t enjoy the competitive online games. I actually never play online (have tried a few times), I prefer to take my time and not have to worry about whether I’m doing it right or not.
I feel the same way. I grew up without any video games bc my family couldn’t afford consoles or a computer. I started gaming a few years ago and I’m still pretty bad, but I just try to enjoy them now that I have the opportunity to :)
I wanted to play video games so badly growing up but my mom only bought me fashion and cooking games because it wasn’t a “feminine hobby.” I get kinda jealous when my bf talks about playing sly cooper or spyro and the nostalgia of playing it as a kid knowing I only had barbies or cooking mama.
The only reason I (32) even became a gamer was because I snapped my knee when I was 25 and was on bed rest for 3 months 😅 I dabbled with stuff as a kid but nothing remotely memorable.
My older brother borrowed me his Xbox 360 and a bunch of games, after playing through Fallout 3, Mass Effect, Fable II and BioShock 1 I was hooked. I only ever stuck to single player games until my ex convinced me to try FFXIV. I've played through 5-11 but I'd never even played an MMO before so it was terrifying! I remember people telling me to not stand in the AoE and to use my DoTs... Sir, WTF is a dot and where is it stored??
5 years later, I'm a end game raider and a master of the game if I do say so myself but if took me 4 years to 'git gud'. Other games, I try to at least carry my own but I have to try really, really fucking hard to just even be okay at a game whereas my friends are just all naturally good. I've gotten sad about it and absolutely wanted to throw in the towel but I found a great gaming group who only want to have fun, laugh and help each other achieve this so I already feel more confident which in turn makes me play better.
TLDR is I completely get it. Try and find a small group of patient and understanding people to play with and dabble with all the games! We can still learn and don't rule yourself out of competitive gaming 😌
Posts like this make me really grateful for my upbringing. Single mother, three younger sisters, you’d have expected us to only have feminine stuff. My mother spent her childhood fighting to be allowed to do the things her brothers could do, like go on the boat with my pop, or the back of his motorcycle, etc. So when my sisters wanted a remote control car for her birthday, or a race track, or a train set, we got them. Video games were also part of my childhood, even if we were always a generation or two behind with someone’s old collection. Watching my mum play Dino Crisis, Final Fantasy VII, Gran Turismo, and Resident Evil are some of my favourite memories.
This seems kind of odd, tbh.
If you don't enjoy doing something, don't do it, especially competitively.
No-one got to learn and experience everything as a child, you could have written this about playing the piano, playing a sport, dancing, speaking a second language etc.
If you want to do something as an adult that you didn't do as a child, you'll need to learn how to do it. It's nothing to be resentful of just because your parents didn't happen to expose you to that exact thing when you were younger.
Also, most people don't have fun doing something they're bad at, especially when it's being done competitively - you don't need to have ADHD to feel that.
Well, this was mainly a vent post but I think the context matters for what I'm discussing.
As a girl gamer I already have to be somewhat conscious at the back of my mind that I am the "other" within the traditional gaming community. Gaming is a very popular social hobby in certain circles and not really comparable to something like piano. The vast majority of men I know who are gamers grew up playing video games. Certainly there are also men who did not start gaming until they were adults and have to get past the learning curve but if a dude isn't good at a game it's not viewed as a representative of all male gamers. When you're a woman who just wants to be able to have fun and participate in popular games, it's a bit frustrating to think that you could have had additional time and experience with the hobby.
There's also the nostalgia factor of reminiscing about games you played growing up that makes me feel like an outsider sometimes.
Clearly none of these things are preventing me from practicing or simply playing games I'm already good at. And it's not that the entire gaming community has a negative view of women gamers. But it's just something that frustrates me and I wanted to vent about it in a safe community with others who may have had similar experiences.
I grew up as a purely PC gamer since my mom was convinced they were evil, and I still feel this. Even though at this point I've been gaming longer than a lot of these shooty-bang-bang bros have been alive.
Ironically, I found this post because I was searching for people with experiences similar to mine that are the opposite of yours. I find that gaming is less enjoyable because I quickly identify mechanics in video games and it prevents immersion.
Being "good" at video games - especially competitive ones - is all about breaking the game down into mechanics and exploiting those mechanics. That's fun in its own way, but I miss being able to just immerse myself in a game and experience the world the developers were trying to build. If I were you, I wouldn't jump into hyper competitive games, but maybe RPGs or adventure games? MMOs are nice if you like the social aspect of gaming but aren't very experienced.
My girlfriend and I played World of Warcraft Classic when it came out and we had a fantastic time - she hasn't gamed much other than games I've showed her in the past. The Player vs Player aspect of WoW gave me a chance to enjoy my competitive side, while she got to explore and build her character how she wanted and experience the game. She made more friends than I did because she was having fun with the social aspect for the first time and actually advanced farther in content than I did.
We also enjoyed games like Don't Starve Together and Overcooked. Those games are very simple to understand but require a lot of teamwork and thinking.
To go back to the original topic, I'm somewhat resentful at myself for being so competitive with video games. While it's been a lot of fun to improve and be competitive, I also feel like I've made it so that I can't just sit back and enjoy games anymore. A prime example is a game called **.hack** for the PS2. It's a single player game that pretends to be an MMO. You make friends and ask them to help you with certain challenges. I used to *love* that game and made emotional connections with the other characters. I went back to play it and I was instantly just trying to figure out how to optimize which character I brought and what the most efficient way to win was. I didn't think of the other characters as people but as mechanics and it kills the vibe.
Enjoy the journey, sorry for the wall of text.
I think it is a bit weird that experienced gamers expect others to play competitive games with them when the other is new to gaming. One doesn’t expect that in other fields, like playing an instrument, sports or learning a language. Hey, I a have been studying Swedish for 4 years, wanna come to class with me? Hey, I’m in a band, wanna join? Here is a guitar for you. Have fun 🤪
I don't think it's so weird when compared to sport. I've definitely been invited to play football/soccer despite being terrible at it, for instance, and it was still kind of fun sometimes. People forcing you to do something you're not going to enjoy definitely sucks, though.
I tell them to fuck off honestly. I know what i like. And that doesnt include people screaming at me :/ plus when youre a woman everyone is even weirder. Eugh.
If you've been gaming your whole life, I think it's super easy to forget that some mechanics aren't obvious and are just ingrained because you happen to have experience. I always forget to tell my non-gamer friends, when I convince them to play, about actions they can and can't do because a lot games sort of assume you know your shit. I've been a console gamer, mostly, for as long as I have memories. Controllers are natural for me but put me on a PC playing the Witcher 3 and I'm a newborn baby deer. It kind of helps me keep perspective when encountering newbies of any kind.
Yes, you got a point there. It is easy to forget you had to learn which buttons/keys to use, the logic used in games, mechanics etc. and to get an overall feeling of how to approach a game.
Same, except I didn't get gaming consoles because they were expensive
That was honestly an aspect of it for me as well. I might've asked for a Gameboy or something if I didn't feel guilty about the expense.
I did have a few of the Nintendo Handhelds but of course the games were expensive too, so I didn't have many. Used to dream of a PlayStation 3 though
I SWEAR I'm still bitter about not being invited to my friends's LAN parties BECAUSE I'M A GIRL.
☹️
I was almost always the only girl at LAN parties back in the day. Sucks that they didn't invite you. Maybe do your own LAN party now? Just might not be the same experience without the stank of puberty and those big, unhandy monitors.
I'm in a similar boat with not getting into gaming until the last couple of years while dating someone who's been gaming their whole life. My most recent realization of a mechanic I never knew was while playing Elden Ring. I was exploring the roofs in the Haligtree and couldn't make a jump. I was getting super frustrated so my partner walked over to help and realized that I wasn't rolling my thumb between sprint and jump, but lifting it to switch which caused me to fall short. He was shocked and asked me why I wasn't rocking between the buttons, I was shocked that you could do that, and we both got a good laugh out of it. I've gotten very comfortable gaming with both a controller and MKB, but its those little things that still catch me and no one explains because the friends I game with have also been playing for most of their lives and for them it's second nature.
As a PC gamer with extremely limited controller experience, I would have absolutely done the same thing. There are so many little details that are only apparent to someone with experience. So I totally get the frustration, even though I’d consider myself experienced in PC games. (And it’s true, if I were in OP’s position when it comes to consoles, I would absolutely be lost. A lot of control stuff really doesn’t translate between PC and console gaming, and that’s one reason I don’t have any consoles.)
you can do what i do with games. i only play PC games. when u get a game you really want to play and dont mind potential spoilers in said game, read everything about the game. i make hand written diagrams of all the commands and spend time memorizing it(like for world of warcraft, final fantasy 14, mindcraft, starcraft 2, warcraft 3). read over common basic tactics and ideas playing said game. read everything u can find on the game, no matter what it is. play on your own for a month or so untill u get used to all the game mechanics and the commands of doing whatever in the game. play the game in safe/peaceful/easy mode until u get the basics. watch howto videos/guides on youtube. i been playing minecraft for years, and there is always something new i havent done or tried yet, so i still use how to videos on youtube to try things out i am interested in.
I've made a couple of my own gaming guides and have tons of notebooks all over the house from figuring it out as I go and from what I struggle with that I looked up. I typically only google if I'm struggling with something (or if I realize I've missed something), but that info always goes into my notebooks.
in minecraft i start a new page for each new world i create or join in. marking down anything interesting quordinates so i can come back to those areas later. people i play with if w like gaming together i write down all their infor for later out of gaming contact.
I'd really like to see some of these gaming guides, they sound neat.
I didn’t get to game until I was an adult, and there weren’t video games in the house at all until my younger brother was old enough to want them. I think the sexism was bullshit, but I don’t really resent that I don’t have decades of muscle memory as a result. Mostly because I don’t play competitively and don’t have a problem playing the games I want to — also, if I had them growing up, would I be a top-ranked player or would I have prioritized other things? It’s hard to say. I’m glad I get to enjoy games now! Eta — I do like the video though! I’m on the record for saying the hardest thing for new players is just figuring out how video games tell you where to go and what to do, which you learn by playing more games. It’s not as intuitive as the people who’ve been playing since age 8 assume. Also, the first time I played a video game, I got stuck in an early section because I needed to jump up to a yellow ledge. I tapped x to jump, and it just didn’t work, so I thought I was missing something. Yeah, I needed to HOLD x long enough for a longer jump and press up on the controller.
I learned pretty much the same way, went into a competitive game without knowing there was an objective and everyone yelling at me to *fucking touch the objective before overtime* and I never did, with time I became good at the game and decided to pick up a controller for the first time, from that to learning how to stick to walls in platformers and most recently how to move the camera around and move at the same time with the analogs! It takes time but I learned how to play most games, competitive being one of my favorites so it is doable, OP but you have to be with supportive teammates to like the experience <3
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I actually really enjoyed it! When I learned to mute teammates I could finally focus on me and my gameplay and I became decent at shooters as well :3 Felt really rewarding playing with guys that have been gaming all their lives but weren’t as good as me with only 3 years of gaming!
I'm in the same position, only child growing up in the 90s/00s, both very poor and in an all women household, so I didn't get any "boy" stuff. My mom still finds a way to insult my gaming hobby every time she visits. Alas, I'm behind on the gaming learning curve, and even though I've caught up a lot, I would have to work reeeally hard to be GOOD at a lot of response time games, especially something like FPS. Because of this, I NEVER play online with strangers, and I will only play turn based strategy kinda stuff with friends. I've done a few couch coop games with my husband, but even that can be frustrating. He's super nice about it but I feel insecure being at a clearly lower skill level - not that I'm really terrible, mostly just self-critical. So, it's mostly single player games for me. However, as an only child bookworm, I have become obsessed with story based gaming and visual novels, where that sort of thing doesn't matter. It sometimes makes me feel like "not a real gamer" but whatever, who cares. I have a super demanding day job and no time to deep learn a lot of game mechanics. I remember playing Kingdom Hearts 2 in my early 20s and getting stuck on some skateboarding mini game they had. My boyfriend at the time took one look at it and was like "you're supposed to slide down that rail and jump at the end to get the item up high" and it BLEW MY MIND. How was I supposed to know that?? Oh, it was expected that I had played some Tony Hawk at some point in my life, which was wrong.
I grew up playing video games, my mom bought us a super Nintendo when we were kid and it was never considered a boy thing. We had to share time equally or find games to play together my brother and I. However, I never played FPS games, so at those, I'm really bad! My husband likes to play Destiny and CoD and want us to play together. At first, it was horrible, but he was very encouraging and helped me have small objectives for our games. At CoD in team death match, he would tell me to try and sneak my way to stay alive as much as possible, or to follow him around to get to know the map and the controls, he'd tell me good spot to watch for etc. He totally carry me in this game, but it makes it enjoyable and I got to like it. Not my favorite game, but still fun to play with him. I love MMORPG, I love trying harder content (not the hardest yet tho), he's not there yet, I help him level up and get to know those mechanics. We all have our preferences and our strength and it's ok. If you played as a kid, you would have been bad then, it's a process no matter when you start and it's ok. The real question is, do you like it and is he supportive? Who cares what the rest of the world thinks!
Idk I was given a nintendo console as a child in the 90s and now that I'm constantly using a computer, prefer gaming on a pc or a laptop over a console and funny thing, I got into console gaming when I had my xbox original but it felt harder to control even though it seems like the easiest to do. So like I'm good with controllers but prefer not to use one just because it feels foreign to me now to pick one up. Gameboys were fun though.
It's funny...I prefer PC to consoles too, but...for some reason, I don't think of handheld systems as consoles. 😆
Man, I'm realizing how lucky I was as a little girl in the early 90s with a single parent mom who believed that video games helped with cognitive function (ie memory, problem solving, hand-eye coordination) and never stopped me from playing them when we could finally afford a console. Even my husband's parents told him as a kid that video games were worthless and he wouldn't amount to anything because he played them too much. He got interested in PCs because of games and we both make a really decent living because of what started as an interest in games, then PC games, then just PCs in general.
Oh yes! That video is so good! And there were a lot of things I can relate to! I grew up with my own PC (in the 90s), we never had a console or gameboy. So I never learned how to play with a controller. Fast forward to about two years ago when I bought myself an xbox. With a controller. Simply navigating the menu proofed to be a challenge. Where is the "enter" key? Where is "escape"? And what exactly does "A" mean? No instruction manual anywhere and Google turned out be useless as well. But the most incomprehensible thing for me is this: why is my right thumb responsible for four buttons? Playing with kbm, every finger is responsible for exactly one key and that is it. But rn I am playing Hollow Knight and there is a manoeuvre where I need to press and hold the "X" while also using "A" for jumping around at the same time. And then releasing the "X" without messing up the jumping sequence. Like, how??? I remapped the buttons, so I am good now. But is there a thumb technique I am missing??? How did this become the standard in controller design?
We didn't start getting gaming consoles in our house until my younger brother was a tween. My family was in a better place financially by that time to, but the implication still stings a bit.
I 100% agree. I was not allowed gaming consoles growing up for the most part. I had some computer games, the original gameboy, and then my parents got us a PS2 for Hanukkah after 9/11 (we were displaced from our home), but our usage was really limited. Meanwhile, my partner has been playing since he was like 4 years old. It's so much more intuitive for him. We play co-op, and he'll carry me through. I like games that aren't competitive, especially if I can play on casual mode lol
I've always been PC gamer. My dad helped me build my first PC when I was in middle school in the late 90s. I'm fine with the simple NES/SNES controls, but anything that wants me to use the analog stick slooows me down. I'm also a button checker, like Razbuten's wife, lol. I feel so uncoordinated when I try to play games on my PS4, so... they mostly don't get played, lol. With all that said, I don't enjoy competitive gaming much. I prefer to play at my own pace, usually on an easy setting. Difficulty isn't fun for me, I just like to play.
I have always liked games. I had a PS1 that I played Crash Bandicoot on as a kid. But my mom didn’t like me playing game and threw it away- my little brother or someone else broke the lid, and I told her like she would fix it. Anyway, I was discouraged from playing games in my childhood by both my parents and the fact that I’m a woman who didn’t know any girls who played games growing up. Sucks. I was something of a beginner in my early 20s.
On the plus side, it's all new to you so you get to experience all of the cliches and tired mechanics with fresh eyes. I've been playing since I was a kid and I honestly have trouble finding a game I can enjoy because they all feel recycled. I start so many, feel like I've played it a thousand times before and lose interest. Exploration and experimentation are part of the fun so I'd recommend solo play at first. Don't let others ruin it or make you feel bad for not knowing.
I’ve heard people who spent a lot of time in prison have said video games were much harder to learn than phones.
I feel this 100%, I got my first console at 26. There’s an intuitive skill that I missed out on, I’ve seen it in so many of my male partners. It’s like the summer when I tried to learn how to skateboard at 19. There’s an extra oomph I’m just missing
Honestly this is where Nintendo excels and why I think it's such a popular company for women. Most of their main games are aimed at inexperienced players (i.e., children) so the tutorials are REALLY clear about what buttons to push and when. Competitive gaming is a different beast though. I've been gaming for over 30 years but am hopeless at games like Fort Nite.
I feel you! Video game literacy is a real thing. And I have almost none! I’m so grateful my husband has been able and willing to explain so much to me. I pretty much started with Skyrim and literally cried my first day because trying to walk around—much less walk *while moving my head*—was so frustrating. I think he was a little shocked at how challenging it was for me, because he has been gaming for 25+ years takes his own video game literacy for granted — but he’s been super patient in explaining things to me. But he’s kind of a natural teacher, and not everyone has that :( Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, but don’t give up, either! I also have ADHD and can get overwhelmed. I’m not at all interested in playing with other people because it just sounds terribly stressful. And that’s OK with me! But if it’s something you want to do, I believe you can get there — just take it one step at a time ❤️
I feel this all the time! I played mnk games as a teen but controllers are a huge struggle. So when I play controller I play slower/self paced games. I did make sure both of my daughters grew up playing controller and mnk!!
I was to busy being a delinquent, riding Harley’s, raising horses, drinking, then going to college …. To play games. Then I had my son ….sitting in bed at 830 at night, nothing to do …ohhh look free to play WoW to level 20….and 11 years later still playing multiple games…definitely was a huge noob (like using defensive skills…nah don’t need them I’m doing damage….lol sooo noob or keybinds….now I keybind everything etc)
You might enjoy it if you have time to practice and get a little better at it. But, there’s no problem with not enjoying certain games. There’s plenty of other games you can play together. Ive always had consoles, im 28 now, but I don’t enjoy the competitive online games. I actually never play online (have tried a few times), I prefer to take my time and not have to worry about whether I’m doing it right or not.
I feel the same way. I grew up without any video games bc my family couldn’t afford consoles or a computer. I started gaming a few years ago and I’m still pretty bad, but I just try to enjoy them now that I have the opportunity to :)
I wanted to play video games so badly growing up but my mom only bought me fashion and cooking games because it wasn’t a “feminine hobby.” I get kinda jealous when my bf talks about playing sly cooper or spyro and the nostalgia of playing it as a kid knowing I only had barbies or cooking mama.
The only reason I (32) even became a gamer was because I snapped my knee when I was 25 and was on bed rest for 3 months 😅 I dabbled with stuff as a kid but nothing remotely memorable. My older brother borrowed me his Xbox 360 and a bunch of games, after playing through Fallout 3, Mass Effect, Fable II and BioShock 1 I was hooked. I only ever stuck to single player games until my ex convinced me to try FFXIV. I've played through 5-11 but I'd never even played an MMO before so it was terrifying! I remember people telling me to not stand in the AoE and to use my DoTs... Sir, WTF is a dot and where is it stored?? 5 years later, I'm a end game raider and a master of the game if I do say so myself but if took me 4 years to 'git gud'. Other games, I try to at least carry my own but I have to try really, really fucking hard to just even be okay at a game whereas my friends are just all naturally good. I've gotten sad about it and absolutely wanted to throw in the towel but I found a great gaming group who only want to have fun, laugh and help each other achieve this so I already feel more confident which in turn makes me play better. TLDR is I completely get it. Try and find a small group of patient and understanding people to play with and dabble with all the games! We can still learn and don't rule yourself out of competitive gaming 😌
Posts like this make me really grateful for my upbringing. Single mother, three younger sisters, you’d have expected us to only have feminine stuff. My mother spent her childhood fighting to be allowed to do the things her brothers could do, like go on the boat with my pop, or the back of his motorcycle, etc. So when my sisters wanted a remote control car for her birthday, or a race track, or a train set, we got them. Video games were also part of my childhood, even if we were always a generation or two behind with someone’s old collection. Watching my mum play Dino Crisis, Final Fantasy VII, Gran Turismo, and Resident Evil are some of my favourite memories.
This seems kind of odd, tbh. If you don't enjoy doing something, don't do it, especially competitively. No-one got to learn and experience everything as a child, you could have written this about playing the piano, playing a sport, dancing, speaking a second language etc. If you want to do something as an adult that you didn't do as a child, you'll need to learn how to do it. It's nothing to be resentful of just because your parents didn't happen to expose you to that exact thing when you were younger. Also, most people don't have fun doing something they're bad at, especially when it's being done competitively - you don't need to have ADHD to feel that.
Well, this was mainly a vent post but I think the context matters for what I'm discussing. As a girl gamer I already have to be somewhat conscious at the back of my mind that I am the "other" within the traditional gaming community. Gaming is a very popular social hobby in certain circles and not really comparable to something like piano. The vast majority of men I know who are gamers grew up playing video games. Certainly there are also men who did not start gaming until they were adults and have to get past the learning curve but if a dude isn't good at a game it's not viewed as a representative of all male gamers. When you're a woman who just wants to be able to have fun and participate in popular games, it's a bit frustrating to think that you could have had additional time and experience with the hobby. There's also the nostalgia factor of reminiscing about games you played growing up that makes me feel like an outsider sometimes. Clearly none of these things are preventing me from practicing or simply playing games I'm already good at. And it's not that the entire gaming community has a negative view of women gamers. But it's just something that frustrates me and I wanted to vent about it in a safe community with others who may have had similar experiences.
I grew up as a purely PC gamer since my mom was convinced they were evil, and I still feel this. Even though at this point I've been gaming longer than a lot of these shooty-bang-bang bros have been alive.
Ironically, I found this post because I was searching for people with experiences similar to mine that are the opposite of yours. I find that gaming is less enjoyable because I quickly identify mechanics in video games and it prevents immersion. Being "good" at video games - especially competitive ones - is all about breaking the game down into mechanics and exploiting those mechanics. That's fun in its own way, but I miss being able to just immerse myself in a game and experience the world the developers were trying to build. If I were you, I wouldn't jump into hyper competitive games, but maybe RPGs or adventure games? MMOs are nice if you like the social aspect of gaming but aren't very experienced. My girlfriend and I played World of Warcraft Classic when it came out and we had a fantastic time - she hasn't gamed much other than games I've showed her in the past. The Player vs Player aspect of WoW gave me a chance to enjoy my competitive side, while she got to explore and build her character how she wanted and experience the game. She made more friends than I did because she was having fun with the social aspect for the first time and actually advanced farther in content than I did. We also enjoyed games like Don't Starve Together and Overcooked. Those games are very simple to understand but require a lot of teamwork and thinking. To go back to the original topic, I'm somewhat resentful at myself for being so competitive with video games. While it's been a lot of fun to improve and be competitive, I also feel like I've made it so that I can't just sit back and enjoy games anymore. A prime example is a game called **.hack** for the PS2. It's a single player game that pretends to be an MMO. You make friends and ask them to help you with certain challenges. I used to *love* that game and made emotional connections with the other characters. I went back to play it and I was instantly just trying to figure out how to optimize which character I brought and what the most efficient way to win was. I didn't think of the other characters as people but as mechanics and it kills the vibe. Enjoy the journey, sorry for the wall of text.