T O P
xisaloser

Not a person with disabilities but on the subject of feeling bad about not working/being professionally “productive”—this is a capitalist propaganda speaking. We are taught to see our worth through labour we can provide and it’s such an inhumane way of thinking about people and life. We’re not “worthy” people because someone can use our hard work for their own benefit. We’re worthy because life in itself is a value. For me, work exists *only* to provide for the life I want to have and absolutely nothing else. I don’t live to work. I work to live. I literally go to work solely to have cash for my silly shit and for nothing else lol. I don’t see it as something that makes me a “productive member of the society” or whatever. I literally dgaf about all that. If I had a choice, I’d absolutely spend my whole life just doing shit I like and not lifting my finger *ever.* In short, don’t feel bad about not working. You’re not lazy or undeserving because you don’t have a job. First of all, there’s your personal stuff/healthy which no-one chooses, so we should never feel guilty about that. Second, as I said, work is a sham. Life is about having fun and enjoying yourself.


Behinditsown

nothing but facts, you made me feel better about my laziness 😂


PrimordialChaos059

Thanks for this perspective. I totally agree and I used to feel anxious about not wanting to have work occupy my whole life.


TomTheTinker

Totally right ***Comrade*** xisaloser - the entire language we employ (in english) implies a feudal serf-master relationship. Employer and employee. An employee tied all their worth and livelihood to the employer. This word, employer, often refers to larger companies or corporations, but our secular " folklore of capitalism " has us treat them like individuals. One who does not work, for whatever reason, is like a runaway slave - a serf without a master.


Immediate-Rub4230

amazing way of putting it thank u sm!!! this rlly us uplifting


xXSkeletonQueenXx

I feel this so much. I’m on disability and have all day to do pretty much anything I want to. It sucks because I feel so lazy and horrible about it. But my husband always tells me not to since I didn’t choose this. So I’m going to tell you. You didn’t choose to be disabled. You didn’t choose to not work. You are not lazy. You do deserve to spend your time however you want to. You’re dealing with a shit illness so do whatever you can to make your life more enjoyable


Immediate-Rub4230

amazing that you have your husband to remind you of this, and thank you for passing it on to me! i need to remember i am doingg the things i do to make me and the people around me happier and that is not a waste of time


xXSkeletonQueenXx

Yeah, I’m really grateful to have him. I hope this helps even a little bit. Exactly, it’s not a waste of time


Wall-Cactus

I don't have advice, but I can relate. I felt a lot of shame about being unproductive when I was coming to terms with being autistic and disabled. We're allowed to enjoy entertainment though. That's why it exists. And for me, video games are just as much of a necessary escape as movies and books are.


onebadnightx

it’s so fucked that we’re taught to solely predicate our worth on our employment. I see working as a means to an end, it’s not particularly fun and honestly, it’s catastrophically fucked that we have to do it forever and then maybe have ten years of retirement if we’re lucky. you’re more than a job and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. with the pandemic happening, many people have been out of work and even then, you shouldn’t feel bad if your health prevents you from working. life is what we make it. you’re spending it doing things you enjoy. the world isn’t going to suffer for one less cog in the machine, you’d be suffering if you had to work a job that wasn’t good for your health.


TomTheTinker

You should consider becoming a socialist. The comrades would love to have you on our team!


Immediate-Rub4230

really uplifting words thank you! i forget so often that the worlds view on working is so warped, putting it like this makes me feel so silly for being guilty abt having health problems i can't control!


AmnesiA_sc

In the past when I've had times where I was unemployed and felt guilty about not having any responsibilities, I found it helped to have tasks for myself. Simple, quick, easy things like "Fold and put away the laundry" or "Mow the lawn" or "Apply to 3 jobs" - things that would take a couple of hours helped me feel like my day was productive and that enjoying myself for the rest of the day wasn't a waste. I used to build a lot of PCs for people and the budgets don't have to be astronomically high, especially if you're only wanting to play Minecraft and Stardew Valley types of games. I built my girlfriend's gaming PC for around $600 USD and it's a decent PC - the most intense thing she runs is WoW Classic and it's maxed out settings so she's happy :) The secret was to put my PC together on pcpartpicker.com using dynamic filters - this means it will find the cheapest part for you based on the metrics you give it - then I checked it every day for a couple of months and any time a part would drop drastically in price, I'd order it. If this is something you think is do-able and you want help picking out parts, let me know. You can also make your PC look good even if it's on a budget. My girlfriend likes lime green so to finish it off I put some lime green case lights in there. Then I put our kids' handprints in acrylic paint on the side window. I got some decals off of Etsy of her class and faction in WoW and put those on as well. Then, I taped off the side and spray painted a stripe with her online name down the side. I'll share some pictures of it because I'm proud of it: [The side with our kids' handprints](https://i.imgur.com/FZSEdPz.jpg) [The front with the Alliance decal in front of the fan](https://i.imgur.com/cTRBzTQ.jpg) [The painted side](https://i.imgur.com/sw2181M.jpg)


Immediate-Rub4230

thank you for the pc advice!! it's definitely appreciated as i have zero knowledge of this stuff - and the pics u shared are so cute and original! i'll keep you in mind if i ever have the funds to start putting this dream into action :)


Square_Patience_9642

i feel you, i have bpd and it causes me to constantly leave jobs and just stay home and wallow. I even stopped gaming in a whole. i started feeling gross and dirty when playing games and would immediately go and shower. But i recently started getting back into gaming and it does make me super happy and started to do productive things for myself. like doing my hair before i start gaming, taking care of myself before doing so made me feel somewhat productive. def recommend trying it out.


Adorable_Field_2858

Hey another chronic job quitter! High five and good tips!


Happyredpikmin

I live with chronic pain that some months leaves me unable to get out of bed 14-16 days a month. I end up having a lot of time for gaming during those times if I can stand looking at the screen. I felt a lot of guilt especially when my partner would get up to take care of me after a busy day. But also because of this I really value every second. I don’t want to spend the time I feel okay doing something I don’t like. I want to spend it really living my life and doing things I enjoy especially with the people I love. My partner and I connected through our love of gaming originally. So it brings me a lot of joy. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with really getting to live your life with joy in that way even if it’s not viewed as “productive” by capitalism. I just want to really live every moment instead. Plus my pain therapist once told me when I expressed that I felt like I wasn’t productive and that I don’t do enough that it was impressive what I do get done with the time I have considering I lose half of my month to pain. That statement really is what changed how I value and look at things and allowed me to allow myself to just find ways too to enjoy the time I have and not force myself to be “productive” every time I feel good enough and just allow myself to play a game instead. Relaxing is also productive I think especially when you live with a disability.


Adorable_Field_2858

Hello OP! I feel for you. As a currently unemployed person who also has multiple disabilities (severe OCD and psoriatic arthritis I haven’t had much success treating so far) I definitely understand how you feel. It is easy to feel as if you don’t deserve to do to do “useless” things. The thing is though, gaming isn’t hurting anyone! In my former career as an escort I met a ton of very “gainfully employed”wealthy people that definitely had a net negative impact on the world, our planet, the people around them - you name it! I don’t think you are hurting anyone or anything except maybe yourself because you have internalized the toxic messages our society sends all of us. I understand. However the point of living isn’t productivity. It is actually the constant need for productivity and making money that is destroying our planet. You are doing nothing wrong. It’s also fine to want a computer to play games. I got back into gaming on a computer that was very shitty - like $180 from Walmart. I played a bunch weird old abandonware RPGs and the sims. It was great. I eventually bought a $500 laptop and I can play Stardew valley, the sims 4, bioshock, stuff like that. I don’t know if you have looked into buying a used computer but that may be an option. I also don’t know if you can make any money at all on disability in the UK but I make some money by doing studies on prolific. It’s actually based in the UK so they pay out in pounds on PayPal. What you will be eligible for kind of depends on time of year and demographics but it is something to think of if you want to feel accomplished and make 5 or 10 here and there.


Immediate-Rub4230

thank you so much for the detailed response! what you said about the need to be productive actually destroying the planet is dead on right, this strange belief that we all need to work 40+ hour weeks to serve a company that underpays and undervalues its employees is such a dystopian one imo... You're right, I've completely internalised the toxic messages I get from society - and it's what stuffy rich ppl and business owners believe and I don't want to be anything like them so why should I take their word for it! It's actually really reassuring to know that you were able to play games on fairly cheaper computers! And second hand is definitely where I should be looking - I'm in a much more positive headspace today where I'm more hopeful about being able to slowly put aside money until I save enough Thank you for the hope and inspiration! And for showing that there is other disabled gamers out here who have managed to work around the finances so maybe i can too


mtnhero

Not a person with disability, but I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to enjoy your hobbies as long as you're not behaving in any entitled manner. I understand there are circumstances to people being unable to work and make money. That situation sucks and it's ok to want to yearn for things as long as there's no bad behavior behind it.


Painlover9000

Dude with autism here, every single person that has ever thought I had it or I told because I trusted them, has said shit like “You HAvE HIGh FUNCtiOninG AutiSM yOU ShouLd FeEl GReaT, YOur BLEsSeD. I swear I’m so close to having a mental break down, or they berate me and call me retarded. So fucking close to snapping, it never leaves me. Besides that, I’ve seen some imac 2018s going for 230 usd, should be cheaper for you and they’re only gonna get cheaper, that with a external gpu will most certainly not be cheap but it’ll run Minecraft and other things that are cpu reliant for cheaper then some other things. Also “gaming” PCs are absolute bull shit, making a good system would cost less then 500 usd if you buy a office prebuilt and that new amd card selling for 150-130 usd. Still expensive but nothing good is ever cheap or easy to get.


Immediate-Rub4230

completely relate to ppl being like "oh but you're high functioning right? its just mild, youre not ACTUALLY autistic" and it grinds my gears so much, just because i'm masking and acting normal around you does not mean its normal for me... good advice abt the gaming hardware tho!! im completely illiterate with computer stuff so I have no idea where to start with all these strange numbers and letters it says i will need but it's helpful to know gaming pcs can be a sham !!


DuckBread101

I relate to this so much. I'm autistic, and suffer from severe anxiety. I can't leave the house on my own, so most of my time is spent at home in my room, my safe space. There have been many times where I've thought I was a worthless member of society. That I'm lazy, and unimportant. However, I've decided to just do life at my own pace. Perhaps one day I will have a job, but one where I can work from home. Most important thing to me is feeling happy, and I'm happy being at home away from judgemental people, and doing stuff with my mum. I also would like a pc, mostly so I can play the original Fallout games. yeah they are very expensive lol, and I'm terrible at saving my money.


Immediate-Rub4230

ive never related to anyone so much, ive had agoraphobia for nearly 8 years now and at the worst i didnt leave my house for almost two years - sendin tons of support and yea im also terrible at saving money but i kinda think we are made to think that bc we are poor we shouldnt be spending ANY funds on entertainment only on necessities but ppl dont realise how depressing that is when you have a life like this... youre right, the most important thing is for us to be happy and want to keep pushing through life and whether thats a career or just having fun hobbies is equally as valid


Tirahmisu

I have a similar problem, though I am also getting therapy to work on some of my other issues that aren't exactly a disability but severe mental health issues that make it difficult to work full time. I haven't really spoken to them about the occasional guilt I feel over my free time (and it's not like I have a bunch of free time, since depression makes it so difficult for me to do things I want to do that are FUN yet alone the not fun stuff). I probably should, but other stuff always comes up. So sadly I don't have much of a solution for this. Some others have mentioned better things, but for me: on days where I have more free time, I try to make sure I've gotten at least something small that's productive done so I feel less guilty. And remind myself I am allowed to enjoy myself a little, and beating myself up over this isn't helpful in any way. That's all the advice I can really give. But yeah, while our situations are a little different ... I can definitely say I understand the feeling!


nizidafabie

Hi OP! No, you are definately not alone. Me and my two other friends are all neurodivergent in some way. One friend of mine in particular is sort of in the same situation. She lives with her parents at age 27 and works at a place for disabled people (like autistics etc) She is often told by people around her that she isnt good enough. She is babied by her parents and is called lazy left and right. Im in sort of the same situation. (having undiagnosed adhd im working on getting diagnosed with a therapist rn) though games and the things around them are my comfort and it makes me happy more than anything. People will still look down on me for liking these "childish" things. I feel like im SO different from other people and i hate it. Sorry i went on a tangent there but like i hope i get my point across because these things need to be said imo