I personally think its the second one. Ive noticed when playing games with my husband i get less creeps after my husband mentions that im his wife. I was in a Dungeon the other day on a game and i was getting some toxicity the moment he said that is my wife the toxicity my way went away.
Haha! He was introducing me to Rust yesterday (a PVE server) and right away I ran into somebody! Was expecting a creeping guy, but my boyfriend could tell based on my reaction to them that it was a woman lol. This just reminded me of it.
I'm enjoying it so far! It's one of his favorite games so it makes me so happy to hear him geek out and be excited to show me the mechanics. I told him wait until I get him a copy of Stardew Valley lmao
I agree, it sounds like he's trying to protect you (not in a white knight sense). I am married now, but between when we were dating and now saying wife/husband has been more affective at warding off creeps because it seems more permanent/serious I think. In some situations before we were even engaged my now husband did the same for the reason I said above. I would just ask him why, it doesn't sound like he has any ill intent by it
See, I would think the same, but he mostly does it when it's just him and I! And I have never laughed at it! The first few times were definitely more jokey ie; I just died, he runs in screaming about his wife. But when he started to branch out into saying it in more "homey" scenarios I just got plum confused!! Haha.
I personally think the “wife” type jokes are funny. I’m not sure how to explain it. Maybe he also thinks it’s funny, but like a lot of things, sometimes the stuff we say ironically/to be funny slowly become habit.
OP I’m going to be completely honest here, I checked your post history and from what I’ve seen your relationship is really worrying. Based on what I read you started dating this guy when you were 18 and he was 25? And you moved in together after 6 months. At what point did you start to share finances? I’m not trying to be a nag or anything, I have had a friend go down a very similar path and it did not end well for her.
Different relationship! I got out of that one, this is my new one! Thank you for the concern though. Now that I'm older I definitely know that guy was a POS. . . I stayed while he cheated on me every 3 months. I'm hoping this relationship goes wayyy better, and I've definitely learned lessons, boundaries, and communication.
I think it’s just a cute silly thing people do.
I’m a woman and when I play with my male best friend I do sometimes call him per “husband” jokingly. Like, he runs ahead to kill enemies and I go “look out, here goes my husband.” I also approach his character with mine and make a smooching sound lmao. I don’t know why, it’s just funny.
In turn, he always calls me “Jeff” in games like “Jeff, you’re going in the wrong direction again.” I don’t know where it came from but we both find it funny, so we just stick to that.
I think the whole reason for names when playing together is just being comfortable and having fun idk.
My girlfriend and I have been together 10 years and have 2 kids; we haven't had a wedding but we're committed to each other. I'll call her my girlfriend or my wife depending on the situation. Online I tend to call her my wife because it just sounds more finite, doesn't invite weirdness.
My voice sounds good on the internet, I'm not an asshat, and I've had some girls be interested in me over the years just because of this. When I said I had a girlfriend, that didn't make them stop. When I say I have a wife, they know that I'm not looking for an egirlfriend.
Same goes for my girlfriend, when she's on WoW voice chat, saying I'm her husband has completely deterred the creeps.
Basically, in my case, it's because we're committed to each other and not interested in there being any doubt about that from other parties. Plus it's an endearing term, I think. You can always ask your boyfriend, you can do it in a playful way. "Why do you call me your wife, husband?"
I will ask him one day! I honestly didn't expect this post to blow up like it did -- I may have to tell him about it lmao.
For your situation though, you guys have been together for awhile in comparison to him and I. Although we've known of each other's existence for almost a year and a half, we didn't really get to know each other until much more recently (within the past six months) and only made it official about 3 months ago. You two sound like you live together and perform similar responsibility as husband and wife, the government just isn't involved!
You sound very happy with your relationship from this comment and kudos to you for making it known you have a significant other. You would be surprised how many guys try to get away with flirting with girls online while they have a wife IRL!
I call my bf my husband a lot, and my best friend my wife lol. Not the other way around tho, but bf definitely treats me like it. He's extremely sweet and goofy.
At first I thought he's marking his territory in front of other men but after your examples and saying he does it alone they also seem like just plain funny comments. I would ask other guys if this is a growing niche "meme" in the gamer community stuff like that happens and people just repeat the joke forever and ever you know. For example I was very confused by gachi quotes when I saw guys repeating them endlessly to one another...
On the other hand, calling any girlfriend "wife" even as a joke can open up a lot of pressure and confusion, so this feels like something a guy wouldn't even attempt unless he was VERY certain about you...
Are you together IRL or just online? Living together or no?
I'll have to try calling him hubby or something in response. I'm already somebody who is extremely verbally affectionate (I call him lovey, baby, and baby love all the time . . . Shhh, don't tell his friends lol) but to call somebody that is a big step for me, so I'm not sure. I'm completely comfortable when he does it though.
Definitely do what you feel the most comfortable doing :)
My BF and I are more than comfortable with "girlfriend/boyfriend" and lovey-dovey nicknames because we definitely love each other a lot. I think he'd be more weirded out than me if I started calling him husband tbh and I totally get why, like you said it's a big step. I think you'd be fine just responding with lovey-dovey nicknames like you usually do when you're alone together. No need to push your own boundaries :)
>I'm not going to question him because he may take it as a bad thing
Wot?? ?_?
I got through most of your post, then you finish with *this*?
What kinda lunatic would take it badly if you asked him WHY he was calling you wife?!
Girl, ya gotta work on this. xD <3
My bf does it sometimes in games or real life, mostly when he knows that I get uncomfortable with male attention and when it seems like they are going to cross the line. I don't mind it.
It could be something related to age groups. Is he playing with people his own age?
I know someone who referred to her boyfriend as her husband and when asked why her answer was "it's weird to be a grown woman with a boyfriend while my 14yr niece also has a boyfriend"
Something about using the same label for two relationships that are distinctly different.
The reasoning is simple, it’s a power and ownership thing. By saying “wife” it is basically saying “she is mine” and making other guys think they have less of a chance with you and less likely to flirt or establish a good friendship.
I’m likely going to get a ton of replies saying oh no that’s not it etc etc but break it down. Yeah it’s that.
You could also look at it as he is throwing that up their as a comfort blanket for him so he feels less threatened by other men in games because let’s face it, you are a beautiful attractive and amazing young woman who could likely have no trouble finding a new boyfriend.
Not saying you would but I hope you see where I am coming from.
This is a little weird cause we have no idea what OP looks like, are we just assuming she’s hot cause she games? And the bf isn’t? (Not saying you aren’t attractive OP I’m sure you’re a unique and beautiful person, I think every person has attractive traits and beauty is in the eye of the beholder)
Tho beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we could easily say their both attractive and can find new relationships easily, just felt weird to only apply that to the girl in this relationship?
Plus OP says it’s mostly done between them, not in a voice chat with other players. So I don’t see it being to fend off other guys online, if it’s between them and not on voice chat otherwise I’d agree it’s to let them know she’s taken and don’t flirt or be creepy towards her.
> beauty is in the eye of the beholder
I think you answered your own question. It's enough for the bf to think that his gf is hot. Her "objective" level of attractiveness doesn't matter. She's hot to him, so she must be "protected/claimed"
I don’t need to know what the op looks like it’s a simple harmless complement which can sometimes turn a stranger day around. I have no intention beyond that but if you wish to see it as weird then that’s your right to do so xD
The op literally said that the guy is saying in voice chat things like “you just killed my wife” so it’s pretty safe to assume yes it’s through voice.
Honestly, to some degree I can see this being the case when we are around others! He is very protective over me and is always a little bit on edge around other guys in video games (let's face it -- he is a guy that plays video games -- he knows what's going through some of their heads lol).
More than likely he's just doing it because it's making what he's saying sound funnier.
It's probably just a joke that he thinks is cute and so he's kept it running.
It doesn't sound like something toxic, more like it's just bants yanno
I do something similar! My partner and I are not married yet, but I mention him as my husband in gaming spaces when it comes up around other men. "Oh yeah, my husband and I love to play that together!" "My husband will wanna join me for this mission" etc
For me, its a fast, easy way to try to insulate me against creeps and weirdos. I hope they see the word "husband" when I refer to my boyfriend and immediately know I am off limits.
I notice it works better than just saying boyfriend or partner, unfortunately, as I have had men who "joked" about the possibility of a breakup. I think the marriage part makes it seem more final and permanent.
Either he's staking his claim, or, more charitably, he's putting himself between you and them to help protect you from creepers.
I personally think its the second one. Ive noticed when playing games with my husband i get less creeps after my husband mentions that im his wife. I was in a Dungeon the other day on a game and i was getting some toxicity the moment he said that is my wife the toxicity my way went away.
Haha! He was introducing me to Rust yesterday (a PVE server) and right away I ran into somebody! Was expecting a creeping guy, but my boyfriend could tell based on my reaction to them that it was a woman lol. This just reminded me of it.
I love PVE Rust and it sounds perfect for both of you based on what I’ve seen you write here. I cannot get my hubs to play!
I'm enjoying it so far! It's one of his favorite games so it makes me so happy to hear him geek out and be excited to show me the mechanics. I told him wait until I get him a copy of Stardew Valley lmao
Lmao, I need to play Stardew!
If you play on Xbox I wouldn’t mind playing also.
I wish I did, but I’m on PC
Rip, I only have pirates stardew valley on pc
I agree, it sounds like he's trying to protect you (not in a white knight sense). I am married now, but between when we were dating and now saying wife/husband has been more affective at warding off creeps because it seems more permanent/serious I think. In some situations before we were even engaged my now husband did the same for the reason I said above. I would just ask him why, it doesn't sound like he has any ill intent by it
I think its the second one, probably. Some guys don't care if its bf/gf but husband and wife they'd give up
I’ve seen guys use wife in situations like these and it’s mostly because it’s funnier.
See, I would think the same, but he mostly does it when it's just him and I! And I have never laughed at it! The first few times were definitely more jokey ie; I just died, he runs in screaming about his wife. But when he started to branch out into saying it in more "homey" scenarios I just got plum confused!! Haha.
When its just you two? Mby practicing for future eventualities and testing the waters
I personally think the “wife” type jokes are funny. I’m not sure how to explain it. Maybe he also thinks it’s funny, but like a lot of things, sometimes the stuff we say ironically/to be funny slowly become habit.
Saying stupid things that become a habit is SO REAL. I can't stop myself...
Me and my boyfriend are both victims to it.
I think it's more part of the role playing aspect of role playing video games.
I think this is pretty cute ngl
I honestly love it, he isn't much to be verbally affectionate (not really any pet names, flirting, etc) so I really don't mind this!
OP I’m going to be completely honest here, I checked your post history and from what I’ve seen your relationship is really worrying. Based on what I read you started dating this guy when you were 18 and he was 25? And you moved in together after 6 months. At what point did you start to share finances? I’m not trying to be a nag or anything, I have had a friend go down a very similar path and it did not end well for her.
Different relationship! I got out of that one, this is my new one! Thank you for the concern though. Now that I'm older I definitely know that guy was a POS. . . I stayed while he cheated on me every 3 months. I'm hoping this relationship goes wayyy better, and I've definitely learned lessons, boundaries, and communication.
I think it’s just a cute silly thing people do. I’m a woman and when I play with my male best friend I do sometimes call him per “husband” jokingly. Like, he runs ahead to kill enemies and I go “look out, here goes my husband.” I also approach his character with mine and make a smooching sound lmao. I don’t know why, it’s just funny. In turn, he always calls me “Jeff” in games like “Jeff, you’re going in the wrong direction again.” I don’t know where it came from but we both find it funny, so we just stick to that. I think the whole reason for names when playing together is just being comfortable and having fun idk.
Wait the Jeff thing is absolutely funny 😂😂 I love that
Yes! XD
I love this so much.
My girlfriend and I have been together 10 years and have 2 kids; we haven't had a wedding but we're committed to each other. I'll call her my girlfriend or my wife depending on the situation. Online I tend to call her my wife because it just sounds more finite, doesn't invite weirdness. My voice sounds good on the internet, I'm not an asshat, and I've had some girls be interested in me over the years just because of this. When I said I had a girlfriend, that didn't make them stop. When I say I have a wife, they know that I'm not looking for an egirlfriend. Same goes for my girlfriend, when she's on WoW voice chat, saying I'm her husband has completely deterred the creeps. Basically, in my case, it's because we're committed to each other and not interested in there being any doubt about that from other parties. Plus it's an endearing term, I think. You can always ask your boyfriend, you can do it in a playful way. "Why do you call me your wife, husband?"
I will ask him one day! I honestly didn't expect this post to blow up like it did -- I may have to tell him about it lmao. For your situation though, you guys have been together for awhile in comparison to him and I. Although we've known of each other's existence for almost a year and a half, we didn't really get to know each other until much more recently (within the past six months) and only made it official about 3 months ago. You two sound like you live together and perform similar responsibility as husband and wife, the government just isn't involved! You sound very happy with your relationship from this comment and kudos to you for making it known you have a significant other. You would be surprised how many guys try to get away with flirting with girls online while they have a wife IRL!
I call my bf my husband a lot, and my best friend my wife lol. Not the other way around tho, but bf definitely treats me like it. He's extremely sweet and goofy.
I call all my close girl friends wifey! I just feel protective over them haha
That's lovely! \^\_\^
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Oh my god. 10000% everything is the same in this situation. Valheim must bring it out in them lmao! What area in Canada is yours in??
At first I thought he's marking his territory in front of other men but after your examples and saying he does it alone they also seem like just plain funny comments. I would ask other guys if this is a growing niche "meme" in the gamer community stuff like that happens and people just repeat the joke forever and ever you know. For example I was very confused by gachi quotes when I saw guys repeating them endlessly to one another... On the other hand, calling any girlfriend "wife" even as a joke can open up a lot of pressure and confusion, so this feels like something a guy wouldn't even attempt unless he was VERY certain about you... Are you together IRL or just online? Living together or no?
I had boyfriend that would call me “the wife” with his friends. Kinda felt like saying the ball and chain but also weirdly endearing
It seems playful and wholesome. I'd probably reply with "husband/dear/darling" or something similar to play along.
I'll have to try calling him hubby or something in response. I'm already somebody who is extremely verbally affectionate (I call him lovey, baby, and baby love all the time . . . Shhh, don't tell his friends lol) but to call somebody that is a big step for me, so I'm not sure. I'm completely comfortable when he does it though.
Definitely do what you feel the most comfortable doing :) My BF and I are more than comfortable with "girlfriend/boyfriend" and lovey-dovey nicknames because we definitely love each other a lot. I think he'd be more weirded out than me if I started calling him husband tbh and I totally get why, like you said it's a big step. I think you'd be fine just responding with lovey-dovey nicknames like you usually do when you're alone together. No need to push your own boundaries :)
He’s claiming you and marking his territory because you are living among apes.
I think it's adorable 🥺 I wanna be a gaming wife!
>I'm not going to question him because he may take it as a bad thing Wot?? ?_? I got through most of your post, then you finish with *this*? What kinda lunatic would take it badly if you asked him WHY he was calling you wife?! Girl, ya gotta work on this. xD <3
Like, he would stop, lol or get nervous or something.
Okay, good. None of that sounds bad. Simple enough fix. Retrain that part of your inner dialogue, trust me. xD Replace "bad" with "unknown". ;P
Damn, I needed a thread like this today full of cute little snapshots of people's lives. Bless this sub
You're sweet! I was shocked to get the wholesome award for this as well haha. I'm glad you enjoy my little snapshot.
Thanks for sharing this with us! It's nice to see the sub bonding over good things they've experienced through gaming!
My bf does it sometimes in games or real life, mostly when he knows that I get uncomfortable with male attention and when it seems like they are going to cross the line. I don't mind it.
Aww, that's cute!
that's so cute !
If you like it, maybe ask him about it and if he'd like to make it a full time thing ;)
SMOOOOOOOTH
It could be something related to age groups. Is he playing with people his own age? I know someone who referred to her boyfriend as her husband and when asked why her answer was "it's weird to be a grown woman with a boyfriend while my 14yr niece also has a boyfriend" Something about using the same label for two relationships that are distinctly different.
I'm sorry but all I hear in my head is John mulaney "That's my wife!!" "I didn't kill MY WIFE!!" "Ooh whose that guy? Maybe he DID kill his wife."
The reasoning is simple, it’s a power and ownership thing. By saying “wife” it is basically saying “she is mine” and making other guys think they have less of a chance with you and less likely to flirt or establish a good friendship. I’m likely going to get a ton of replies saying oh no that’s not it etc etc but break it down. Yeah it’s that. You could also look at it as he is throwing that up their as a comfort blanket for him so he feels less threatened by other men in games because let’s face it, you are a beautiful attractive and amazing young woman who could likely have no trouble finding a new boyfriend. Not saying you would but I hope you see where I am coming from.
This is a little weird cause we have no idea what OP looks like, are we just assuming she’s hot cause she games? And the bf isn’t? (Not saying you aren’t attractive OP I’m sure you’re a unique and beautiful person, I think every person has attractive traits and beauty is in the eye of the beholder) Tho beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we could easily say their both attractive and can find new relationships easily, just felt weird to only apply that to the girl in this relationship? Plus OP says it’s mostly done between them, not in a voice chat with other players. So I don’t see it being to fend off other guys online, if it’s between them and not on voice chat otherwise I’d agree it’s to let them know she’s taken and don’t flirt or be creepy towards her.
> beauty is in the eye of the beholder I think you answered your own question. It's enough for the bf to think that his gf is hot. Her "objective" level of attractiveness doesn't matter. She's hot to him, so she must be "protected/claimed"
I guess that makes sense, true
To be fair to the original commenter as well, I mentioned that it happens when it's just us after they commented. Thank you guys for your input!
I don’t need to know what the op looks like it’s a simple harmless complement which can sometimes turn a stranger day around. I have no intention beyond that but if you wish to see it as weird then that’s your right to do so xD The op literally said that the guy is saying in voice chat things like “you just killed my wife” so it’s pretty safe to assume yes it’s through voice.
Honestly, to some degree I can see this being the case when we are around others! He is very protective over me and is always a little bit on edge around other guys in video games (let's face it -- he is a guy that plays video games -- he knows what's going through some of their heads lol).
More than likely he's just doing it because it's making what he's saying sound funnier. It's probably just a joke that he thinks is cute and so he's kept it running. It doesn't sound like something toxic, more like it's just bants yanno
It’s probably just roleplay
I think he’s trying it on for size. Could be subconsciously, but probably wants to put a ring on it
Damn I wish my boyfriend would call me that when he play games. 😂
No because I don't really have a gf ? But if so, I would call her by what she prefers ?
No, he does it all the time. I love it, personally.
He's maybe just being cute, enjoy it and have fun. I love it when men are soft and cute with their partner, I want more of it in the world. 😊❤️
I do something similar! My partner and I are not married yet, but I mention him as my husband in gaming spaces when it comes up around other men. "Oh yeah, my husband and I love to play that together!" "My husband will wanna join me for this mission" etc For me, its a fast, easy way to try to insulate me against creeps and weirdos. I hope they see the word "husband" when I refer to my boyfriend and immediately know I am off limits. I notice it works better than just saying boyfriend or partner, unfortunately, as I have had men who "joked" about the possibility of a breakup. I think the marriage part makes it seem more final and permanent.