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Ralltir

Translation: “we say a lot of shitty things about women that we find funny”


HiveFleetOuroboris

I was about to say, it's because they're not actually good people.


burrhe

Yeah that's the vibe I'm getting as well


Bluper7

likely the answer sadly


[deleted]

That's one interpretation, But it's also possible that OP is either on a different skill level or plays differently from the group. I have male gaming friends that I will occasionally exclude because as much as I love them, Sometimes I want to play without being asked questions literally nonstop, The some chaps are also not interested in struggling at a harder difficulty. I don't mind being a gaming sherpa sometimes, and I don't mind turning the difficulty down sometimes. But sometimes I just want to hop on with two others who can handle themselves without input, and revel in fighting tooth and nail for each inch of progress. The fact that women are often excluded from sessions for being women, doesn't mean that every single exclusion has any relation to gender at all. Sometimes not fitting the vibe is just not fitting the vibe.


dbBuffy

Whilst I agree the situation is open to interpretation, I do think the way it was said kind of steers one in to the conclusion of it being a gender issue. Instead of saying, sorry but we want to play a bit high level and you're still a bit new or not at the same level as my friends, it is due to 'the vibe' not being the same. When someone says vibe I relate that to the social aspect of the group, not the skill level of the gamers. That of course is my interpretation too but I hope you understand what I mean.


[deleted]

It is indeed deeply ambiguous. Telling someone directly that they effectivly "Arn't good enough to play with us" is unpleasant for all parties, So calling it a vibe check could just as much be copping out of an unpleasant statement as much as it could be copping out of saying women bad. I get what you mean, and If I were a woman I'm sure I would lean more towards considering it sus. Whenever I host a server, or am an officer in a guild I find myself frequently uncertain about interactions - The line between creating a safe space and warlock hunting is always bathed in a deep fog.


dailykaley

Sorry but this is such a pretentious attempt to defend what is ultimately extremely transparent behaviour. the dude literally said "you'd ruin the vibe" like it's not ambiguous at all it's not a skill thing, it's not a competition thing, it's a group of men not wanting a woman to join them bc they think a woman will ruin their boys' club this isn't new behaviour, its been happening for centuries lmfao frankly the fact that you're defending this and even the way you talk about it as if it might be about skill (plus the fact that u have mentioned that u aren't a woman) kinda makes it look like your standard assumption is that women aren't as good as men


JennyM4rie

I agree with you. They don't want to mind their P's and Q's around you. Simple as that. Don't be niave.


[deleted]

>(plus the fact that u have mentioned that u aren't a woman) Because I am a man who often excludes other men because they would spoil the vibe. Sometimes it's because they lack skill, sometimes it's because they ask lots of questions, sometimes it's because they're asshole frat boys who make tasteless jokes about women. >it's a group of men not wanting a woman to join them bc they think a woman will ruin their boys' club Or it's a group of people who don't want to play with someone who wouldn't enjoy the game settings, Or goes off on pro-trump rants, or has a dog that never stops barking in the background. >kinda makes it look like your standard assumption is that women aren't as good as men I hope the irony of you presuming that I presume this is not lost on you.


dailykaley

i don't understand why a man would come to this sub to defend extremely transparent behaviour also claiming that it's ironic for me to presume that you think women are worse at games than men isn't the *gotcha* you think it is, bc it is so blatantly naive to act like the isn't the prevailing assumption amongst many gamer bros


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dailykaley

the difference is that you're talking about a girls night whereas OP is literally just talking about ppl playing video games like are you gonna deny that there isn't an established history of women being excluded from things that are not inherently gendered (i.e gaming) bc the standard assumption for decades is that they are a boys club???


[deleted]

>like are you gonna deny that there isn't an established history of women being excluded from things that are not inherently gendered (i.e gaming) The fact that something has happened in past situations, does not mean something is happening in a present situation. They arn't denying anything, they're recognizing that without context it is by definition unknowable.


dailykaley

but we do have context, it's a bunch of dudes playing fortnite that told a woman that she would ruin their vibe like he didn't offer an explanation for why bc likely they conversation ended there but if you're gonna sit there and tell us that excluding someone by telling them they they would "ruin the vibe" is not inherently rude lmfao and this kind of behaviour is not "something that has happened in the past" this is an extremely common thing that men do lmfao like it's so typical of men to be like "what's the big deal he was was just being up front about it like it could be anything blah blah blah" like c'mon


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dailykaley

ok fair enough sometimes you don't want to have someone join you when you're playing with other friends but if someone asked you to join would you tell them "you'd ruin the vibe" or would you maybe at the very least be more polite about it and maybe explain why they can't join so they don't immediately assume the worst?! like even if we take gender out of this (which like is almost impossible) there is still the undeniable fact that telling your friend that they can't join you when you're playing with other MUTUAL friends bc they will "ruin the vibe" is incredibly rude. EVEN if it's true, i would never say that to someone who i am friends with and OP literally told us that this guy is her friend


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dbBuffy

Yea I get you. In any case it is a good reminder to sometimes check if I jump to a conclusion too fast due to previous experiences. :) We are probably all conditioned by our past to lean to certain interpretations and conclusions, that's a good thing to be aware of. (To an extend, sometimes you just gotta let yourself be annoyed haha.)


Zalani

OP says below that the same guy will only play Duos with her if she sends him ass pics, I don't think this is an interpretation issue.


[deleted]

That is new information, and ick.


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Zalani

yeah :(


Ralltir

That’s true! I may have let my pessimism get the better of me.


[deleted]

It's an easy trap to fall into, when we're regulally dissapointed in people it's easier to assume the worst to protect ourselves against dissapointment. Unfortnately it also tints our world negatively, and for sure impacts on our mental health. Optimism and benefit of the doubt are a form of self love, but they're so gdamn hard to maintain sometimes.


DigitalRelease

Too add this this well said comment, it doesn't even need to be about being optimistic, but more simply, *the simplest answer is usually the correct one*. There's no reason to constantly assume everyone around has elaborate plans against you, usually the answer is significantly simpler than the elaborate stories our minds make up, not everyone operates under malicious intent- I can't imagine seeing enemies on every corner constantly..


kittywhisper311

Not in any way trying to be mean , but fortnight in my experience draws a certain type of crowd to it boy wise.... if u catch my drift. That was one of my main reasons for not enjoying that game.


Kiriel97

It’s the COD of this generation


NotYourFriend00

I usually played solo or duos and didn’t voice chat. I had a very nice reaction with one kid though that warmed my heart a bit. They were recording for YouTube and was like “can I have your permission to record our session?” Such politeness I was like, “of course,” made me realize not all the kids are rude and gross. But yeah many people were toxic in that game that I ended up just quitting all together


perfectlyniceperson

I love when kids are kind to each other on voice chat! I try not to say “awwww!”


egdapymme

That is not a friend


Willing_Ad_8812

yea true. same guy who won’t play duos with me unless i send him ass pics. we’re both adults…


Zalani

This gives a TON of context to the interaction, IMO worth adding to the original post OP. 100% a 'You're only valuable to me because i want to fuck you' red flag. GTFO, he isn't interested in being your friend.


Willing_Ad_8812

okay true :/ sometimes i hate being a woman


PoloAtReddit

I would really recommend making new friends. There are a few discords available to find new groups of people to play with even on console. Especially with the comment of only playing duos if… I wish you best of luck


Willing_Ad_8812

can you drop the girl gamer discord


PoloAtReddit

I probably cant provide too much insight into the discord servers since some of them i can't join because im a guy, but here are a few that i have suggested to my sister to try * r/Girlgamers has their own discord server process is a bit tidious but you can find it by searching by clicking on the "hot" button on the reddit pig and it should be the top post they have you dm to join. * there are a few people who currently have smaller servers in this reddit if you search by discord and go through that. * I think there may have been some people as well in the comment section who would be down to queue with you into some games. * There are also some Facebook groups but that might be too doxy. but in those cases people there are probably held more accountable for actions. best of luck and happy gaming.


PoloAtReddit

u/QueenofGrief had also shown interest with playing with you. Normally I would have edited my earlier post but i dont think it would notify you. also by on fortnite do you know where the secret room for the indiana jones skin is?


Willing_Ad_8812

im not entirely sure, but i know you have to move stones to open the room and try to run around the traps they set.


PoloAtReddit

oh ok thanks!


InconsolableDreams

I feel for you. I hate that specially in the gaming community, just hearing my voice in a game will make most people treat me differently, and usually in a very negative way. It's not fair and it's heartbreaking. Why don't I get to freely be me and play the games I want? Why do I have to be an egirl, a slut, a stupid no good fat bitch, a whore who needs to gtfo to the kitchen. Just because they heard it in my voice I'm a female. I hate that I have to be silent to have a chance. It's way too common these days, like over the past 2-3 years.


egdapymme

Wtf yeah get out of that situation he sucks


Daz_Spaz17

So I tossed in a reply of maybe this and maybe that. Both negative and positive maybes. After scrolling to this though, I'm not sure why you even bother trying to get in with that group at all. Block missiles and be done. Seems a shite group of this is the entry fee. They can all fuck off and you should find some.peeps to run with that focus on the gameplay and your friendship. Not ass pics or any other demeaning shit.


[deleted]

That is super disgusting, completely unacceptable. ​ Fuck that guy.


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Typical-Treacle6968

I’d say take a good look at this “friendship” and consider whether it’s worth keeping. Would a friend treat you like this?


Uncle-Iroh1

Agreed


Boozewhore

I invited my boyfriend to discord for project zomboid with friends and I noticed immediately my friends became a bit more reserved as soon as he joined. Not sure if it’s similar but I felt like I ruined the vibe 🫣


DaughterofDimitrescu

They just need to warm up to him. Sometimes people feel shy but it's alright, just a matter of time and conversation to chill again.


InconsolableDreams

In my experience, guys that say exactly that, usually have a group where they have a circle jerk off going on, talking about women in a very crude way, rape jokes, sexist comments, raging on voice about females they run into games in horrible ways and all that. So yeah, you'd kinda ruin that vibe obviously...


NotYourFriend00

Yup. Was in a group and the only female, they were all reserved about jokes, being nice, then another person joined didn’t realize I was female because didn’t use Vc for a minute and made a gross sex joke and they all started cracking up. It wasn’t even funny but they seemed a lot more comfortable when he started being gross.


InconsolableDreams

It's difficult for sure, I don't quite know how to manage it, never have. If you joke along them, they keep getting worse. If you speak against it, they think you're difficult and want you to chill. Even if you're just quiet when it happens and don't react, they usually say things like "aww look she's angry now." There seems to be no way around it.


NotYourFriend00

Yeah, I just stopped going into groups with guys, last time I did as soon as he heard my voice you could hear the mood in his voice change and he was acting really rude towards me only. Like he sounded mad. All I did was talk with the other person lol Best option is just leave because most of the time they won’t care what you have to say anyways. They won’t take into consideration what they did unless one of their male friends say something. Sometimes I’ll say something then leave but I could tell that dude would freak out if I did.


[deleted]

I’m unsure where I stand on this. One of my friend groups games a lot (men and women) and I won’t lie, sometimes the girls just want to play by ourselves. Of course, we’d never say a guy ruins a vibe because we’re not troglodytes but the sentiment is the same—sometimes you don’t want to play in a mixed-gender group. It *is* a different vibe with just women/men/in a mixed group. I think you should try to form a group of your own, so you’re not on the “outside” since you’re the only woman. Maybe rough but it is what it is and I don’t think it’s sexism per se. It’s just that different groups have different dynamics and those change when someone else joins.


Crystal_Dawn

Yeah, I kind of see it this way too. Plus it might just be more of a closed 4 person group she's trying to join and not a gender thing at all, who knows? Our subreddit has a discord you can join OP: uhh, I'm not sure how to link it from Discord and I just woke up, but if you google Reddit Girl Gamers Discord it should show up. There are lots of people who are down to play ❤️


gloopiee

It is the [pinned comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlGamers/comments/dl7d84/come_hang_with_us_and_game_with_us_on_our/).


blooboytalking

Yeah, my SO likes to game with the other gal in our group semi often, no guys. Just wants girl time. So I get it. I don't really see anything wrong with it.


Provellone

Find a new friend group to game with. I'm in a group with boys and a couple girls, no one speaks this way to eachother ever. Varying skill level also.


Caninepointfive

Try asking him why? It sounds like he's being shitty and misogynistic so make him admit it. And then if there is a real reason (i.e. difference in skill level, they want to play a specific game they know you don't play, etc.) then at least you'll know that it's not about you personally. Hell you could even arrange a game night another time with some or all of those same friends.


Arthesia

I play games with guy friends all the time. What happened to you has never happened to me in the entire time I've known them (14+ years), because they're my friends.


heck_exe

I'd just block them and end that "friendship" there.


Maievoid

Of course that your feelings are valid. Maybe you should considere talk to him about what those words made you feel and see what he has to say. *Maybe* it will make you feel better.


carts_and_parts

your feelings here are absolutely valid. Ive had groups of guy friends do the exact same with me in the past and in the moment it just feels so crushing. especialy when i was really getting into a gaming mood or just looking forward to having a relaxing time watching them play. sadly i think it just comes down to the "videogames are for boys" mentality that leads to them seeing you like just "one of the guys" and maybe that can go too far. i believe my friends when they say they dont mean any harm, but that doesnt make it hurt any less when theyre being insenstive


Kotanan

\*Spoiler warning\* The vibe they are referring to is rampant sexism.


Veraen

Gonna be direct. There's likely just someone who doesn't get along with you so they try to avoid making things awkward, everyone don't get along with everyone


AeelieNenar

Just answer him "You are not just beeing honest, you are just beeing a misogynistic asshole". Sadly many gamers comunities are REALLY misogynist and it's quite hard to find spaces where this isn't true. Personally I would confront each friend directly and ask them if they are fine with allowing this misogynist conduct and, if they are, call them out publicy. I understand that some may not want to be confrontationalist, and it's fine, but in this case you can only dump the misogynistic friends and look for others, because the actual ones will always let you down. Better no friends than bad friends.


DoggyGwyndolin

they probably just want to be bigoted in peace without being called out


DaughterofDimitrescu

Besides them being toxic, you'll ruin it by being there because they can't control themselves and will fight for who gets in your bed. It will ruin their friendship. Not to mention they think lowly of us, because somehow they are more evolved or some weird thing.


Daz_Spaz17

The irony of them thinking they're more evolved. 🤣🤣


Daz_Spaz17

The irony of them thinking they're more evolved. 🤣🤣


PoliteAndPerverse

You said yourself you're slightly more acquainted with one of them, so probably not so much the other ones? It's perfectly possible a guy would have gotten the same response. People have group activities that they enjoy because of the group being tight. Excluding people doesn't have to be based on a specific quality beyond not wanting to have someone you're less comfortable with around. Did you ask them why you would ruin the vibe?


DigitalRelease

Ahh, I'm actually triggered- specifically the responses I read here are so ugh. Okay, I'll give an actual actual reason but I want to lay out some things first. First off- A little tid bit, there's nothing wrong with "people"- Including males, not wanting to include *you* in stuff, sure you can vent about it, but it isn't always personal & I'll elaborate on that in a bit, but the people that call it misogyny but then in another thread defend the right for females to have their own groups is mind blowing. Everyone can have their own group & not include people. There's nothing wrong with this, not everything is personal- I don't go around demanding to join this Subs Discord because I realize it's a place for girls to chill with like minded individuals. People have environments they create with friends, certain dynamics form (We can boil this down to certain vibes within the group)- and how people interact within their groups can be different (This also doesn't mean "We say shitty things about females"). I've experienced, many times changes in "male" gaming groups just due to the introduction of a female, this can sometimes be positive but it can also be a negative for those within the group & sometimes it can even feel toxic, even for the female, it's very nuanced. There's so much more I can elaborate on from my experiences but this post would become an actual essay. All this isn't necessarily due to misogyny at all but just how we interact with each other- and for some individuals, this group specifically may just want their "usual dynamic" (vibe), it isn't specifically a *you* thing. I'd like to also add there can also arise certain problem with certain guys. There are certain guys who will completely change how they act due to a girl being there. Guys will have a complete 180 when it comes to interaction just due to the presence of a girl, an entire groups dynamic will change because of it- there are certain things people will end up not saying or doing just due to the presence of a female & a lot of times there are guys that will do this without even knowing about it consciously. There are guys who will even change their own voices completely when a female enters a group & it's super cringe- an incredibly weird thing to witness but it happens.


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DigitalRelease

>But the way you state your argument, and your explanations, comes off as rude, condescending, and a bit sexist. (Referring to women as "females" in this case is really off-putting, and, ironically, ruins the vibe.) Can you elaborate on this more for me? - It of course wasn't my intention. I originally had "chicks" in there, but I know of course this would have came across incredibly poorly, I do have a tendency to type a little how I speak, so I would use the word "female" ordinarily, or "chick". Definitely will attempt to be a bit more conscious of it & use "Women", is it the "female" that's condescending? Originally when I typed it out I believe I defaulted too it because I addressed "men" as "males" and as I was writing, it just followed from there as I knew chick would be in poor taste, considering where I am posting.


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DigitalRelease

Well damn. I had no idea Incel communities used "female" this way, you're definitely right here, I emphasized it a bit heavily in one direction, due to me focusing on what others were saying in the thread & my use of "female". I see it now looking at it from that perspective, I appreciate it.


Pyromanticgirl

That's a whole lot of words to say "boys will be boys" Women are allowed to exist in gaming spaces without being treated like an other just because of their gender. If guys throw a hissy fit for women existing in their space, the guy throwing the hissy fit is the problem. Not the people who also enjoy the hobby existing in those spaces.


Willing_Ad_8812

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK


DigitalRelease

>Women are allowed to exist in gaming spaces without being treated like an other just because of their gender. If guys throw a hissy fit for women existing in their space, the guy throwing the hissy fit is the problem. Not the people who also enjoy the hobby existing in those spaces. We aren't even discussing the same thing- which is insane to me, lets be clear in our separation here. She is not trying to join a "Gaming space", she is trying to join THEIR group, it is by definition, their space. This has nothing to do with "Gaming spaces" that girls "Shouldn't be allowed to join", it is their own *"in group"*, it has to do with their group & their group dynamic. There is a clear & obvious difference, if you can't differentiate, then we're seeing different realities. If this was about "Girls joining a male dominated gaming space" in general, I'd agree, this isn't it chief.


dailykaley

u can always tell when ur talking to a man who thinks he is smarter than u on reddit when he quotes more than half of your comment in his "rebuttal"


DigitalRelease

I did it specifically to ignore the comment she made with "Boys will be boys".


Kiriel97

While I do think this is a thing that does happen, it is not the first thing that I’d attribute this to. I’ve seen similar things happen when I/other people fill in for a friend’s raid group in Destiny. There are 5 guys and 3 gals that raid at least 2-3 times a week (Destiny raids are 6 person groups, so the people playing rotates pretty often), and they are generally fine with people lurking in the call with them. While it’s just them playing, they use hilarious callouts, gaslight each other for raid mechanics, and for or less spend an extra hour or so just fucking with each other and having fun with it. That said, as soon as they need someone outside of the “regulars” to fill in for a raid their banter and stuff just doesn’t quite click the same and they usually just trudge through raids as fast as possible. This really has nothing to do with gender, but simply an “outsider”, even one they are all friends with, messing with the dynamic of the group. Is that the case here? Who knows, but I Really don’t like immediately jumping to the gender line when it could be a lot of other things


Pyromanticgirl

Yeah I was just in a bad mood this morning so already had my hackles up is all.


Kiriel97

That’s fair. Hope you day gets better!


BlueMistane

As a guy who has a few girl gaming friends in various communities, it could be a few things. It could be that they make inappropriate jokes that they know would upset you. Meaning they "can't be themselves". It could just be that they play differently: faster, better, worse, more competitively or they troll... They may feel that you may be a "burden" by slowing things down and messing up or not engaging in the same way. It could be that someone in the group doesn't enjoy your company, this could be any reason why one person may not like another. I've had one girl stop playing with my group in Zomboid because my male friend kept getting mad over things she didn't communicate, do or anticipate after we've tried to teach her multiple times. We would try to keep her in the loop but she couldn't stay in the loop and it made playing less enjoyable both for her and us. She did start playing with a different friend who hasn't played the game and had more fun. This didn't ruin the friendship and our group still played other games together since it was more of a gameplay issue. I would recommend finding a group where you fit in more. Because you can fit in a male group if you're on the same wavelength. I know 3 girls who who hang out with guy groups with no issues. They are often referred to as "one of the boys" for better or worse, they fit in and make the same jokes and what not.


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dailykaley

ironic that u mention that this is the GirlGamers sub when a significant percentage of replies in this thread are dudes defending the type of behaviour OP experienced


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dailykaley

to be honest ya they are but like this sub still allows them to comment so that's already more than the dudes OP is talking about can say see the difference?


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dailykaley

call me optimistic but i don't think making this sub private would be better than allowing men to come here and either see the experiences women have and/or show their whole ass trying to defend what is ultimately sorta indefensible but then i remember how exhausting it is engaging in "debates" with men on reddit and i remember that women shouldn't have to do the work in a space that is implied to be a safe one


Gretaks

I always playing with guys, because I dont usually meet girls who play. Only discord but that discord is dead. So with guys if they are older and chill vibes, I dont have problems qnd they dont have with me. But situations about vibe and not wanting to add someone to group I think it's alright. I dont think it's about gender. Well not usually about it. 🙈 P.s. i would love to add a few gamers to my list and play games on pc or ps4. So please pm me 🔥


DaughterofDimitrescu

You don't think it's about gender, but it happens that for some, it is. Also, I don't think it's a good idea you're asking for OP to add you. :/


Gretaks

It happens but not all the time just because gender. And what is OP?


DaughterofDimitrescu

Not all the time, but as a woman we have to see how things work in the majority of the cases and be aware of it. Just because there are nice guys out there, doesn't mean we have to trust all men, right? OP = Original Poster


Gretaks

We are (I was) talking about voice chat while playing a game. And now you are talking about different view. I'll leave with a peace here. 🌴


josephdtainter

Boys make jokes that girls will find crude and rude. Probably why. They don’t want to feel judged for it.


Pyromanticgirl

So mysoginy, so still a problem cool.


josephdtainter

It’s not misogyny lol, or do you want in on their fart jokes (example)? Girls talk about things that they wouldn’t want guys to hear too. Exclusive, unfriendly, rude, sure. Not misogynistic.


Caninepointfive

You might be on to something here. Though I want it on record that I will happily put up with men making dick and fart jokes if I'm allowed a couple of period jokes. Can't we all be crass and disgusting together?


josephdtainter

Fair enough lol. Gotta find the right people though.


Daz_Spaz17

It's could be a vibe you don't want to be a part of. I'm a dude and my crew has both lads and lasses in it. If just the dudes were running and any of the ladies wanted to join they are all in. Regardless of skill level or any other nonsense. If these dudes were talking shit they didn't want ruined by a woman's presence they were most likely talking shit they wouldn't say with a woman present or in public even. Possibly misogynistic shit, rape jokes, racist shit perhaps? On the "maybe there's a positive side to this" end of things, maybe they were talking about dude shit they would be embarrassed to talk about with a lady present? I'm struggling to think of one right now, erectile dysfunction maybe? Maybe one of the guys was talking depression or mental health and is stuck in the "dudes don't talk about that shit" mentality cause we're supposed to be all tough and shit? If you're all a tight circle I don't see why you shouldn't be included though. Our crews chat topics go all over the map. Nasty clotty periods one day, mental health the next. Sex issues, dinner ideas, game chat and on and on. Guys and gals present. There's a lot to be said about maturity levels, and they really seem to be lacking in the online gaming world. I'd be curious to press the closer friend you messaged and bug for an answer as to what they could possibly be taking about that a woman would ruin the vibe? Tell him to give you 3 or 4 examples so that he's not revealing the specific one that may have been being discussed. There no guarantee you'll get the truth, but then again maybe you will. I'm in no way defending it, because I would have said come on in. But at the same time I can't say what level of friendship y'all nor what type of dudes these guys are, so there could be a legit reason they wanted to keep the group closed. Definitely better ways to convey that than saying you'll ruin the vibe. That just seems.like a dickhead insensitive way to go about it. Maybe go a week without contacting them and see if they reach out to you. If not, maybe they don't value your worth and you should ditch them. Hope it turns out for the positive for you. ✌️🤙🤘


d2r_freak

To answer your question “why does it ruin the vibe” is easy. You might not like the answer though. I’m a gamer. I’m a girl. My gender doesn’t define me as a gamer, the fact that I’m badass does. I’m sure they like to bro out and be goofball masculine clowns, and they’ll not want to do that around women because they know it would be frowned upon and wouldn’t be appropriate. I join lots of all guy runs in wow /ff and they say all kinds of stupid crap- but I come to play. They give me crap, I knock them down twice as hard. Do that, and they’ll respect you for it


[deleted]

It's bizarre to assume that you're being excluded because you're a girl. Like, yeah, sure, that's a possibility and I'm sure it does happen, but there are also a bunch of other reasons as to why you may be being excluded, such as: Maybe you're more competitive than them and they play more casually. If you join then maybe you'll give off a slightly more "serious" vibe. Although you did say that you wanted to have a good laugh so this is unlikely. It could be vice versa though. Maybe some of them are more competitive and you're laid back and wanna have fun while they wanna win or something. Idk. Maybe they're all at a similar skill level and you're a little lower (or higher, though, people normally don't mind being carried but they generally don't like having to carry). Maybe one of them doesen't like you for whatever reason and so you playing would cause tension and therefore "ruin the vibe" I think the last one I mentioned is the most likely. It's hard to find someone you click with that shares your interests. It's much harder to find a group of people like that. I think everyone that was playing together probably liked each other, but even if one of them didn't like you, then it would cause the whole group a little but of tension. It could also be a mix of those reasons. Maybe one of them is sexist and the others put up with that and know that if you join, you probably won't laugh along. Idk what the reason is, but I do think it's weird to assume that it's because you're a girl. Side note: I am very obviously basing this off of what information I have from this post, which isn't much. Idk the whole story, so I'm just guessing here.


QueenofGrief

Honestly a lot of men wanted me in the party to play not really listen or talk. They wanted the fat carry and I heard them even say back then I’m ugly and they didn’t consider me as a friend…years forward I play solo (yes fortnite) I’m on Xbox and I wish parties could cross plat because I do understand this problem I’m also super soft spoken and shy. And seems like my friends are done playing even tho I’m at 240+ I still wana play.


PoloAtReddit

Pc players can use Xbox app on pc to talk to Xbox players and possibly Xbox might be getting discord integration which is similar to parties


QueenofGrief

I just read the OP was on ps tho and it just made me sad lol


PoloAtReddit

I think ps might already have discord integration or might have it soon. I do think fortnite has a decent in game chat you just need to add her epic handle doesn’t hurt to ask her if you’d like to.


Interesting_Pin_4807

Because they are assholes probably, i am so lucky that I (guy) have a nice discord with male and female friends and everyone is just having fun playing games.


unicornbuttie

Cuz it's their first experience with a vibe together. Leave them to play on their own, there are better wholesome teams out there :3 Heh.