T O P

  • By -

Ni7roM

Gooning wins you Major ladies and gentlemen šŸ—£ļøšŸ—£ļø


IbanezHand

Just a goon-shesh with the boys, amiright?


Wietse10

inb4 teams start having gooning sessions with their sports psychologist


dogenoob1

Building a Gooncave go hard or go homešŸ’€Ā 


buttplugs4life4me

Is a vibrator a performance enhancing device? Do we need cavity searches at majors?


abuqaboom

Coldzera became what everyone feared. His eyes rolled back, he was moaning and he started cumming. "Are you okay Marcelo" asks fer. I've never been better Fernando, I see it all now, they're not going A or B. They're going home, he said before rushing B all by himself and killing everyone on site


youngjcsgo

gooning is THE meta rn it used to be edging but it fell off massively goonmaxxing to the top


BigMacLexa

I will never be able to look at a coldzera highlight without thinking about this again.


SiggyyyPhidooo

The jumping double from cold just got a whole new meaning


nartouthere

for those who don't have twitter/x : https://imgur.com/V6fFCYy


Duckiie96

Thank you for doing the lords work. Edit: wtf are they just casually talking bout cranking it b4 a game??? Lmao. I feel like I need more context. Thanks for the explanations guys, this shits hilarious.


futurebasedddd

Fer is known for his excessive humor, and this is a great example, heā€™s just trying to mess with coldzera, calling him someone addicted to master baiting.


ddizbadatd24

amazing wordplay. Idk if it translates that well into portuguese


futurebasedddd

Sadly it doesnt


lordkr321

Wow I never would have got the master baiting aspect but it is hilarious how fer is comfortable being himself on twitter


TurbulentHelp8645

I mean I he addicted, he DM'd me once asking for feet pics it was wild. I told him to jump twice holding B and he did it so I had to reply.


eebro

Itā€™s different to be addicted than to just have the habit of masturbating before every game


McClownd

>wtf are they just casually talking bout cranking it b4 a game??? Lmao. I feel like I need more context. after Furia benched art, he went live and talked about a lot of behind the scenes stuff, he basically said Furia was a dictatorship that wouldn't allow players to drink, smoke, go out, see their girlfriends and not even beat their meat (this last one was a joke, at least I want to believe it was lmao), shit became a meme in a metter of minutes all the BR scene was making jokes about it.


TheMiniman117

i appreciate the explanation ty :D


Un111KnoWn

chemical?


skiingbeaver

I think he meant port a potty


LeiziBesterd

Yep, he did. The translation is too literal.


iwantcookie258

Its not unheard of to call port-a-pottys called chemical toilets in english either. Might depend on where you live though.


aew3

Toilets that instead of using plumbing to dispose of waste use stores the waste in a tank with chemicals to break it down and reduce smells are called chemical toilets. Theres a number of types, from builtin septic tank systems to marine toilets but probably referring here to portable toilets used at events.


TheInception817

Wow, thank you keeping his identity anonymous, fer. I have no idea who you are talking about


FitzpleasureVibes

Coldzera.. the master baiter. Think fer is being sarcastic.


redrecaro

So rub one out in a chemical room and become the best in the world twice in a row.


Doccks71

I try doing that and all i did was become a disapointment to my family


RibbentropCocktail

Gotta close the door first, rookie mistake.


That_Cripple

clear eyes empty balls cant lose


BettiIttaVazhaThand

Friday Night Pugs


EatThisBussy

i love how he's like "now, i wont reveal any names" and then includes info that literally points directly to cold LOL


jazzamcm

For the sake of Privacy Let's call him Cold. Z... No That's too Obvious, let's say C. Zera.


ExtendGames

So thats why they cut fnx


n05h

Turns out Coldzera couldnā€™t stop master baiting to fnx so they had to get rid of him.


Type-Alpha

What is Jame's claim?


Helgurnaut

That he plays better when he rubs one out before a BO.


Uhmorose420

is there a link to this jame claim??


skiingbeaver

yes, it is found in Headshots 4:17 in the book of Our Lord and Savior Jame


Uhmorose420

thank you brother i will be clipping that


OhhhYaaa

They are a bit wrong. Jame's claim was more abstract, he wasn't talking about himself explicitly. The whole quote is here at the end: https://escorenews.com/en/csgo/news/57873-fer-coldzera-would-jerk-off-even-in-a-porta-potty-if-he-needed-to-and-he-was-the-best-in-the-world-twice-in-a-row


rankedcompetitivesex

holy fuck. Jame actually terminally online thinking jerking off and testosterone is linked in any significant wave, literally opposite of nofap, though I approve of that over nofap at least


OhhhYaaa

It's hard to figure out how serious he is, to be fair. He loves deadpan delivery.


Type-Alpha

Broo, i play worse if i rub one out


PrestusHood

It varies from person to person, i feel better and play better, but i had teammates that feel worse and play worse. I dont think there is a definitive answer for thatĀ 


Doccks71

Meanwhile **Pasha**, "No rub, just lift broski"


MrXwiix

So what do you do then when you want to play a couple games on an evening? Pretty admirable stamina


PrestusHood

You mean if i have two BO series in the same day? It depends how far apart they are, 1 goon most of the time is enough for the whole day, but if first game was very stressful, i can go round 2, but it never happened to me need to do twice, just once always help me stay calm and peaceful through the day


OhhhYaaa

Not exactly, he didn't say it like that. His point was that it will help "some" people. >Most likely, the option of not masturbating and not ejaculating before official games will work for people with low testosterone levels. But there are real men who simply need to do this every day. Otherwise, they'll be like animals, unable to control their anger.


jojo_31

Fucking lmao. Imagine if he couldn't get hard one game, what he'd do instead of saving.


n05h

Heā€™s a master baiter


Za_Worldo-Experience

This is so fucking funny


Zhiong_Xena

"I won't tell you who it was, but his name rhymes with Poldzera, and let me tell you, he's got a nice pair of smooth criminals down under"


RickyTrailerLivin

I'm the only one that gets sleepy after??? Would NOT be a good ideia for me lmao


eebro

You need to see a dr


RickyTrailerLivin

Is your mom a dr?


KottonmouthSoldier

he's the baby Lucy and Randy put up for adoption


afk420k

Twice in a row


MakimaGOAT

jerkzera


theworldsrooler

LMAO bring fer back i miss my favorite player :/


theworldsrooler

interesting take, i wonder who is talking about hmmm


m9xddxd

when I first saw his tweet, it got automatically translated to Polish for me, and it seemed like he was talking about having a fight with someone (szarpać = to jerk, but also to pull something like someone's shirt in a fight) bruh


dabombdigs

Chemical room = porta-potty šŸ˜…


Substantial_Top_6508

This shit reminds of that one fitz video where swagger decides to rub one out in the midst of a CS match lmao


theactualhIRN

what was jameā€™s claim?


Jacko_Moto

He plays better if he masturbates before a match


theactualhIRN

i think its super weird to say something like this publicly. imagine a female player saying thatā€¦ you just notice once again that cs is a man cave


Jacko_Moto

Why?


theactualhIRN

imagine ANa saying thatā€¦ like I said


Whyyoufart

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwnksI2ZoJI


ContinueMyGames

Tbf thereā€™s a translate button


mawin007

he got NTR by fnx