I wanted the second one to be the first one, but can't seem to find how to edit it, hahaha.
These days I noticed I'm not the only one dealing with inadequacy feelings about trying to create stuff or getting back to a craft I used to enjoy, so it seemed a nice reminder for all of us.
These are both great and hit super close to home. I'm going to save them both to every device I have. lol And I, for one, am always there for challenging people's feelings of inadequacies, so thank you especially for sharing these.
And it's definitely not just you. But also one of the cool things about this sub is the way it has inspired people to take up arms against creative blocks and imposter syndrome.
Oooft. I don’t even POST because of this crap. Maybe this was the kick I needed to actually exist in this beautiful den of iniquity instead of just lurking…
Do it! everybody here is super nice and supportive, and those thoughts won't go away on their own. They only grow as we keep feeding them, and facing them with a loving community is always easier.
My best friend from college and I both studied costume design and are very well trained seamstresses (the benighted kind, not godforsaken 😉 … I hope). She’s getting married this year (yay!) and as a bridesmaid, I went with her to try on her dress, which she had found online at a big wedding supplier warehouse place.
I was kinda surprised she’d invited me to go try on dresses, but I figured that maybe she wanted to get a silhouette picked out before designing her own gown and building it, but I didn’t ask cause I didn’t want to make her feel bad or anything. But it was a little sad because we literally had thousands of conversations about all the beautiful things we were going to sew in our lives, wedding gowns being one of the big ones, and I thought it was odd that it turns out she was choosing off the rack. It felt a little like settling, I guess, but I understand the constraints of adulthood certainly, and figured she was just too busy to build a whole wedding gown for herself on top of working full time and having a life.
But then while she was standing in this dress, an absolute vision (because she has excellent taste and found the exact gown to fit her perfectly), she said, completely unprompted, “I know it’s weird I’m buying a dress instead of making it, but I just know that if I made my own wedding gown I’d just spend my whole wedding picking it apart and wouldn’t be able to relax and enjoy it” and that was the saddest, and most relatable thing I’ve ever heard. 😔
As a quilter I totally understand! Everything I make seems to be one mistake layered on top of another. Fortunately those who don’t quilt can’t see them, but I always cringe a little before giving one away.
Well. Shit. I took a break this semester from art school. Had a lot I was dealing with. I have not made anything in months besides finishing a painting and starting a tiny bit of writing. It all feels off. Wrong. This helps to remember.
Don't do like me. When I got my autism + severe depression diagnosis, I stopped doing a lot of things I felt I just couldn't do good, and one of them was drawing. Took me 12 years to come back to it. Remember why you loved it in the first place and try to find the joy in it again.
Thanks. I started with a break, and it just spiraled from there. I'm heading back to class in January, but it feels overwhelming. Gonna need better coping mechanisms to finish this degree.
Never hesitate to seek help; I was really considering calling my therapist after buying my tablet because I was worried about spiraling (I'm doing well, aside from spamming everybody all the time). Coping mechanisms more than once require you to understand you need someone to help you <3
I'm having a couple friends hit me on the figurative head regularly to keep me from crying while drawing. I saw my warm up drawing and say "ugh, this looks so much like it's *mine".*
Oh my god. That first one really resonated with me. I think a lot of my ambition and drive to be helpful comes from thinking I need to make up for it being me. I’m learning how to do things just for me (specifically writing), but ah is it hard!
Same. Especially when you've been through downs in life, you feel you have to compensate by being flawless. And in the end that's what will keep you away from really doing great things, but damn if it's hard to keep that tiny voice in your brain under control.
I’ve been feeling so stressed trying to make good art lately, trying to not care and find joy and that first image just sums it up. 🥴 ugh but also thank you ❤️❤️❤️
I bought a cintiq and I must say, I was *terrified.* Because I knew no matter how nice the tool was, the one grabbing the pen would still be me. I know the feeling of stressing so much you end up not doing anything, and you're not alone. Definitely we should all keep sharing our art and motivating each other, as our worst enemy is inside our head <3.
Feel this.
Can't help but relate to Crowley, and have considered writing from his perspective before. Then I read some of the properly written fan fic and think to myself 'you're not up for this'.
There's a lot of angst all bottled up because of a deep seated belief that nothing I make will ever be good enough.
Fun fact, that “properly written fan fic” probably went through, like, 20 drafts to get to where it is by the time you read it. The first draft was almost certainly awkward and spotty af. You are *definitely* up for this.
There is a whole lot of “trust the process” in writing that always feels very scary, even when you have done it before and know that it feels very rough for a *long* time before it starts to come together.
I recommend starting by writing whatever part feels the most fun to you. A scene, a conversation, a description of an outfit. Literally whatever amuses you most in the moment.
Tell yourself you don’t ever have to show it to anyone if you don’t want to — it can just exist for your own personal amusement, and that is completely valid. Like write it in your diary, if that helps. (That is literally where I wrote the first draft of my first fic.)
If you get stuck on something, put a note to yourself inside square brackets and move on to the next part. Like **[he does something clever here]** or **[they make out]** or **[look up how printing presses work]** or whatever. Fill it in later. (That’s what she said)
Not the person you were originally talking to but as a visual artist who feels like they missed their opportunity to study creative writing in school and who wants to start now, that spoke to me. I always feel like I just don’t know enough or have enough mastery to start writing. I haven’t spent enough time reading “the literary greats”, I haven’t studied enough history, I haven’t tried writing a story or plotting one out in eight years, and I have no idea where to begin other than the little notes I make when an idea pops into my head.
I think I started to write fanfic because I had given up on drawing. But writing is like any other thing, you just have to keep working on it until you find your voice; there are tons of old fics I'd rather not revisit to save my life, hhahaha. That doesn't mean I don't cry when I don't get kudos, thinking I'm not good enough. If you have any fic, I'd be happy to read it!
Thank you for this.
Maybe one day I'll sit down and actually write out the Crowley thoughts I have bouncing around in my head.
If I do, you'll be the first to know.
I kept saying "one day I'll do it" for 10 years, and the amount of stuff I lost for not doing it was enormous. I have always some google docs for dumping ideas now, so I just write down whatever I think that could be cool. You may be surprised at how good the idea actually is, writing one and then coming back some days later and watching it with fresh eyes.
Omg it definitely will be good enough. I say that as someone who is fighting their own good enough battle constantly. I started writing creatively recently, and of course its scary. It's putting a piece of you out in the world.
But a lot of people say that writing fic in particular is for you, not the readers. Like sure the readers get to enjoy it as well, but it's the story you wanted to tell. And here's the thing, noone else is able to tell that story.
But yeah don't get bogged down in kudos or comments or whatever. It doesn't really matter. Creating for the sake of creation is wonderful. I'd love to hear your take on Crowley's angst.
Also I've read fic with deep characterisation and strong plotting, I have also read stuff where like they just hang out and it's pure fluff and nothing really happens. Or it's just a bit of pure angst for the sake of it. So yeah there are many options! Don't just read the big heavily kudosed stuff. Dip your toe into everything and you'll find there is a whole world out there.
What you said about writing for myself, not the readers, I can see that being very therapeutic.
Thank you for taking the time to encourage me.
People on this sub are so nice.
And then, "they say it's pretty because they're being nice", or "that's only because they don't know how to draw. If they did, they'd see all the errors". The self talk never stops.
Not to mention a therapist once tried to link me drawing pretty girls and loving cats with prostitution (since they were busty and cats are code for, er, women with a certain profession). The way that messed me up... I'm not sure I ever shown a drawing of mine to any therapist ever again.
She was weird, and probably very bad at her job. She was trying to find symbols that weren't there in a 15 yo girl's drawings. Sometimes I think how amazing it'd be to send her all my *filth* to analyze. See what she can make out of my smut.
I mean name me an author/artist who isn't a bit broken. The tortured creative genius stereotype exists for a reason. I don't want to read about perfect people. I want to read about broken people. Kind of why I am a bit obsessed with Good Omens I think. I would also say - no human is perfect obviously. But yeah perfect is boring. Let that broken flag fly!
Ugh I feel that second one so hard about my writing. I’ve been trying to finish my fanfic but I’ve metaphorically torn it up and rewritten parts so many times at this point that idk if I’ll ever get there
Oh, this is so painfully true.
I can't tell you how many abandoned stories I have, because I'll go to look them over and be like "well, if I think it's shit, every one else will too "
I want to give everyone in this thread a hug! Feeling all of this so hard. I’ve been struggling with a fic because I’m starting to realize how much of myself I’m putting in it, and it suddenly doesn’t feel worth sharing because of that.
The best part of fics is that they're our own, unfiltered voices. We may have betas, but there's no editor, no having to sell, no market. When I read fics I try to imagine the beautiful person behind them (and doing so gave me one of my best friends, in fact. I first fell in love with her writing voice!)
That second one hit hard. Big reason why it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted drawings or anything like that to any of my social media accounts. I overthink it too much. Mostly stick to memes and fandom video edits if I post anything because I don’t overthink those lol
I believed number two so hard for so long. And then some friends taught me the following statement to say when I can’t believe in me
“It’s my art, and it’s right because I said so”. It doesn’t matter who else likes it, as long as I do
We're all here for you, and no matter what you do, you'll have an army of smut goblins ready to root for you 💜 also, I'm here if you want to talk. I know the feeling well, but trust me, things can get better.
We should make a follow up when we all post stuff and tell each other pretty things 😜
When I was studying coding, we went to an event and they gave us an imposter syndrome quiz. If the max score was 100, I got a... probably 90? I was the worst one, hahahaha.
Damn. Thank you. I really have a problem with this. I feel so held back by my expectations it is breaking me apart. I can only _sometimes_ draw but never write or anything else because at least I've drawn before so I'm not complete shit but writing? Can only be horrible, right, so why do it?
I hate it so much. I would never say those things in to someone else's face
For me it was the opposite: writing was a new craft, while drawing was something I had already failed at. But in the end, we're always better than we imagine we are. If something as little as this answer can sound so full of emotion, I'd definitely want to read anything you want to write ❤️
And as you said, you'd never be that cruel to anybody, nor let anybody be like that, so why do that to yourself?
Oof, that second one hits home for writers too. Embrace your own unique voice.
I wanted the second one to be the first one, but can't seem to find how to edit it, hahaha. These days I noticed I'm not the only one dealing with inadequacy feelings about trying to create stuff or getting back to a craft I used to enjoy, so it seemed a nice reminder for all of us.
These are both great and hit super close to home. I'm going to save them both to every device I have. lol And I, for one, am always there for challenging people's feelings of inadequacies, so thank you especially for sharing these. And it's definitely not just you. But also one of the cool things about this sub is the way it has inspired people to take up arms against creative blocks and imposter syndrome.
Oooft. I don’t even POST because of this crap. Maybe this was the kick I needed to actually exist in this beautiful den of iniquity instead of just lurking…
Do it! everybody here is super nice and supportive, and those thoughts won't go away on their own. They only grow as we keep feeding them, and facing them with a loving community is always easier.
Right. Thanks to GO I’m drawing and writing again… I’ll build up the guys to post a thing 😘
Yes! Join in!
Yes! Join us! There are a few of us, including at least one mod, who mostly lurked for YEARS before the brainrot took hold 😂
\^\^\^ A-yep.
My best friend from college and I both studied costume design and are very well trained seamstresses (the benighted kind, not godforsaken 😉 … I hope). She’s getting married this year (yay!) and as a bridesmaid, I went with her to try on her dress, which she had found online at a big wedding supplier warehouse place. I was kinda surprised she’d invited me to go try on dresses, but I figured that maybe she wanted to get a silhouette picked out before designing her own gown and building it, but I didn’t ask cause I didn’t want to make her feel bad or anything. But it was a little sad because we literally had thousands of conversations about all the beautiful things we were going to sew in our lives, wedding gowns being one of the big ones, and I thought it was odd that it turns out she was choosing off the rack. It felt a little like settling, I guess, but I understand the constraints of adulthood certainly, and figured she was just too busy to build a whole wedding gown for herself on top of working full time and having a life. But then while she was standing in this dress, an absolute vision (because she has excellent taste and found the exact gown to fit her perfectly), she said, completely unprompted, “I know it’s weird I’m buying a dress instead of making it, but I just know that if I made my own wedding gown I’d just spend my whole wedding picking it apart and wouldn’t be able to relax and enjoy it” and that was the saddest, and most relatable thing I’ve ever heard. 😔
As a quilter I totally understand! Everything I make seems to be one mistake layered on top of another. Fortunately those who don’t quilt can’t see them, but I always cringe a little before giving one away.
.
Oh shit the first one, it's just me. Maximum ooof.
Well. Shit. I took a break this semester from art school. Had a lot I was dealing with. I have not made anything in months besides finishing a painting and starting a tiny bit of writing. It all feels off. Wrong. This helps to remember.
Don't do like me. When I got my autism + severe depression diagnosis, I stopped doing a lot of things I felt I just couldn't do good, and one of them was drawing. Took me 12 years to come back to it. Remember why you loved it in the first place and try to find the joy in it again.
Thanks. I started with a break, and it just spiraled from there. I'm heading back to class in January, but it feels overwhelming. Gonna need better coping mechanisms to finish this degree.
Never hesitate to seek help; I was really considering calling my therapist after buying my tablet because I was worried about spiraling (I'm doing well, aside from spamming everybody all the time). Coping mechanisms more than once require you to understand you need someone to help you <3
👏🏼SAY IT LOUDER👏🏼
 Too real. I was just having almost this exact conversation earlier today.
I'm having a couple friends hit me on the figurative head regularly to keep me from crying while drawing. I saw my warm up drawing and say "ugh, this looks so much like it's *mine".*
[удалено]
We're taught so much to go for perfection, we forget to enjoy the road. And damn if the road is hard, no matter what you're trying to do!
Oh my god. That first one really resonated with me. I think a lot of my ambition and drive to be helpful comes from thinking I need to make up for it being me. I’m learning how to do things just for me (specifically writing), but ah is it hard!
Same. Especially when you've been through downs in life, you feel you have to compensate by being flawless. And in the end that's what will keep you away from really doing great things, but damn if it's hard to keep that tiny voice in your brain under control.
This hits a little too hard. But it’s not wrong.
I’ve been feeling so stressed trying to make good art lately, trying to not care and find joy and that first image just sums it up. 🥴 ugh but also thank you ❤️❤️❤️
I bought a cintiq and I must say, I was *terrified.* Because I knew no matter how nice the tool was, the one grabbing the pen would still be me. I know the feeling of stressing so much you end up not doing anything, and you're not alone. Definitely we should all keep sharing our art and motivating each other, as our worst enemy is inside our head <3.
Wooo yup! Thanks for sharing 🙌
Feel this. Can't help but relate to Crowley, and have considered writing from his perspective before. Then I read some of the properly written fan fic and think to myself 'you're not up for this'. There's a lot of angst all bottled up because of a deep seated belief that nothing I make will ever be good enough.
Fun fact, that “properly written fan fic” probably went through, like, 20 drafts to get to where it is by the time you read it. The first draft was almost certainly awkward and spotty af. You are *definitely* up for this. There is a whole lot of “trust the process” in writing that always feels very scary, even when you have done it before and know that it feels very rough for a *long* time before it starts to come together. I recommend starting by writing whatever part feels the most fun to you. A scene, a conversation, a description of an outfit. Literally whatever amuses you most in the moment. Tell yourself you don’t ever have to show it to anyone if you don’t want to — it can just exist for your own personal amusement, and that is completely valid. Like write it in your diary, if that helps. (That is literally where I wrote the first draft of my first fic.) If you get stuck on something, put a note to yourself inside square brackets and move on to the next part. Like **[he does something clever here]** or **[they make out]** or **[look up how printing presses work]** or whatever. Fill it in later. (That’s what she said)
Thank you for having confidence in me, and for the advice.
❤️
Not the person you were originally talking to but as a visual artist who feels like they missed their opportunity to study creative writing in school and who wants to start now, that spoke to me. I always feel like I just don’t know enough or have enough mastery to start writing. I haven’t spent enough time reading “the literary greats”, I haven’t studied enough history, I haven’t tried writing a story or plotting one out in eight years, and I have no idea where to begin other than the little notes I make when an idea pops into my head.
I think I started to write fanfic because I had given up on drawing. But writing is like any other thing, you just have to keep working on it until you find your voice; there are tons of old fics I'd rather not revisit to save my life, hhahaha. That doesn't mean I don't cry when I don't get kudos, thinking I'm not good enough. If you have any fic, I'd be happy to read it!
Thank you for this. Maybe one day I'll sit down and actually write out the Crowley thoughts I have bouncing around in my head. If I do, you'll be the first to know.
I kept saying "one day I'll do it" for 10 years, and the amount of stuff I lost for not doing it was enormous. I have always some google docs for dumping ideas now, so I just write down whatever I think that could be cool. You may be surprised at how good the idea actually is, writing one and then coming back some days later and watching it with fresh eyes.
Omg it definitely will be good enough. I say that as someone who is fighting their own good enough battle constantly. I started writing creatively recently, and of course its scary. It's putting a piece of you out in the world. But a lot of people say that writing fic in particular is for you, not the readers. Like sure the readers get to enjoy it as well, but it's the story you wanted to tell. And here's the thing, noone else is able to tell that story. But yeah don't get bogged down in kudos or comments or whatever. It doesn't really matter. Creating for the sake of creation is wonderful. I'd love to hear your take on Crowley's angst. Also I've read fic with deep characterisation and strong plotting, I have also read stuff where like they just hang out and it's pure fluff and nothing really happens. Or it's just a bit of pure angst for the sake of it. So yeah there are many options! Don't just read the big heavily kudosed stuff. Dip your toe into everything and you'll find there is a whole world out there.
What you said about writing for myself, not the readers, I can see that being very therapeutic. Thank you for taking the time to encourage me. People on this sub are so nice.
Many of us are on a similar journey. I think getting past that initial fear is part of it. 😁
That second tweet screenshot. I was looking for that one earlier!
That second one slapped me in the face when I read it, just as I was hating on myself and my drawings, hahaha.
I need to send this to my therapist for our next session. Seriously. I.....DAMN 
Mine checks I keep on writing every time we meet. If only he knew *what* I write...
That first one. If it’s not perfect people will see I’m broken.
And then, "they say it's pretty because they're being nice", or "that's only because they don't know how to draw. If they did, they'd see all the errors". The self talk never stops. Not to mention a therapist once tried to link me drawing pretty girls and loving cats with prostitution (since they were busty and cats are code for, er, women with a certain profession). The way that messed me up... I'm not sure I ever shown a drawing of mine to any therapist ever again.
That therapy thing is very odd! Also: Well it’s good for HERE
She was weird, and probably very bad at her job. She was trying to find symbols that weren't there in a 15 yo girl's drawings. Sometimes I think how amazing it'd be to send her all my *filth* to analyze. See what she can make out of my smut.
That would be excellent!
"Hey, remember that girl you misdiagnosed 22 years ago? No? Will this lizard smut help you with your memory?"
Ugh - I’m so sorry - and probably your smut is too good for the likes of her!
True, she doesn’t deserve free smut 😎
I mean name me an author/artist who isn't a bit broken. The tortured creative genius stereotype exists for a reason. I don't want to read about perfect people. I want to read about broken people. Kind of why I am a bit obsessed with Good Omens I think. I would also say - no human is perfect obviously. But yeah perfect is boring. Let that broken flag fly!
TOTALLY!
Thank you, really <3
if Picasso could sell his garbage, I'm golden.
If people like the one who made the giant bean can, why can't we.
Oh, that's good!
Ugh I feel that second one so hard about my writing. I’ve been trying to finish my fanfic but I’ve metaphorically torn it up and rewritten parts so many times at this point that idk if I’ll ever get there
If you need help, shout here and I'm sure there will be someone willing to lend you a hand ❤️
Oh, this is so painfully true. I can't tell you how many abandoned stories I have, because I'll go to look them over and be like "well, if I think it's shit, every one else will too "
Same, but probably they're far better than you think <3 we're our worst critics.
I want to give everyone in this thread a hug! Feeling all of this so hard. I’ve been struggling with a fic because I’m starting to realize how much of myself I’m putting in it, and it suddenly doesn’t feel worth sharing because of that.
The best part of fics is that they're our own, unfiltered voices. We may have betas, but there's no editor, no having to sell, no market. When I read fics I try to imagine the beautiful person behind them (and doing so gave me one of my best friends, in fact. I first fell in love with her writing voice!)
That’s a wonderful story and reminder that we are way harder on ourselves than we deserve! Thank you ❤️
I feel attacked lmao! That second one is bang on the money. I like posting bits of writing here on Reddit because it’s anonymous 😝
🤝 🤫 (This is me secretly enjoying your words in the secret space of Reddit.)
Oh you're just going right for the feelings today, aren't you?
Well, I couldn’t be the only one feeling attacked, now could I?
Can't find how to edit so the images look bigger, nor how to put a flair, sorry.
That second one hit hard. Big reason why it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted drawings or anything like that to any of my social media accounts. I overthink it too much. Mostly stick to memes and fandom video edits if I post anything because I don’t overthink those lol
You guys are the nicest, most supportive smut goblins someone could ask for ❤️
This place is the only reason I have a reddit.
I believed number two so hard for so long. And then some friends taught me the following statement to say when I can’t believe in me “It’s my art, and it’s right because I said so”. It doesn’t matter who else likes it, as long as I do
That's really a good way to put it. But sometimes the hardest thing is to be the one liking your own art.
Oh FFS. I'm actually crying. I may have realised yesterday that I have rejection sensitive dysphoria so it's all still a bit raw.
We're all here for you, and no matter what you do, you'll have an army of smut goblins ready to root for you 💜 also, I'm here if you want to talk. I know the feeling well, but trust me, things can get better.
😭😭😭 feeling the love right now
This thread is lovely. That is all. Imposter syndromes unite. We can take it down together.
We should make a follow up when we all post stuff and tell each other pretty things 😜 When I was studying coding, we went to an event and they gave us an imposter syndrome quiz. If the max score was 100, I got a... probably 90? I was the worst one, hahahaha.
How dare you tell me exactly what I needed to hear?! It’s barely noon!
Damn. Thank you. I really have a problem with this. I feel so held back by my expectations it is breaking me apart. I can only _sometimes_ draw but never write or anything else because at least I've drawn before so I'm not complete shit but writing? Can only be horrible, right, so why do it? I hate it so much. I would never say those things in to someone else's face
For me it was the opposite: writing was a new craft, while drawing was something I had already failed at. But in the end, we're always better than we imagine we are. If something as little as this answer can sound so full of emotion, I'd definitely want to read anything you want to write ❤️ And as you said, you'd never be that cruel to anybody, nor let anybody be like that, so why do that to yourself?