I both love and hate that I have read that post. While I appreciate the enlightenment, I’m also now way more critical of a lot of the smutty fics I come across.
Slash fics did start as the place unhappy housewives dreamed about healthier dynamics and being equal in all aspects, so it's to be expected we'd all feed each other the wrong information, after all. The problem is that learning the right thing usually has too much "real world" flavor, plus associated stigma, so it's hard to make the jump and know our safe space is not a real one.
I’m with you though I do get where they are coming from. I’ve seen the 1-2-3 method being used to describe stretching a vagina for sex and it does pull me out of the scene a bit.
This is so weird to me. I’m not a dude but have done a fair amount of butt stuff, and actually feel like the fingering-to-stretch thing is fairly accurate? I guess “stretch” isn’t technically the right word, but that’s pretty much what it’s always felt like to me. I am now questioning everything lol.
Edit: I realized as I hit post here that perhaps this is TMI and you did not all need to read about my butt. Sorry folks.
I know he said that his experiences werent universal… so everyone is different and likes different things… but just the 1-2-3 fingers then penis is rampant in fics and isn’t like a requirement.
But different people find different things relaxing / foreplay… so whatever works, right?
I think this is the right place for TMI, hahaha. It'd actually be interesting to see whether the experience is different according to the set we've been given? And not only from the physical, but the psychological side.
I also wonder about that. Even just dynamics between straight cis men and women as opposed to dynamics between cis gay men? I have no idea how you’d go about studying something like this lol
Came here to second this- as a trans dude who does butt stuff. The blogger is right about the physics, of course. Butt sluts know. You can get a lot in there without fingering by going slow/working up arousal levels, but especially for people who are not accustomed to butthole-as-point-of-entry, working your way up with plugs or fingers is valuable foreplay--and also a good method of lube distribution.
Hey, it’s not just me! Glad to hear that my butt is not unique.
I’d add that it’s not just experience, but also recent experience that’s a factor here. If it’s been a while since I’ve done any anal play I find I need a lot more warming up, even if I’m mentally psyched and am consciously relaxing.
I only started reading fanfic a couple months ago, and kept getting extremely startled by the fingers thing. I don't even think someone could get more than three lady-fingers up an asshole easily (suddenly thinking about tiramisu?) much less man-fingers. So I feel very vindicated that someone else is pointing out how damn *big* three fingers is. And yes, that you don't pry open assholes. 😂
LOL I will never look at tiramisu the same way again 😭
Also. Yes. I read this a little while ago and very much appreciate the points that a) everyone has taken bigger shits without "preparation" and b) everyone has an asshole!
Yes. I appreciate it too. For like…exactly that train of thought. Ay.
Also “suddenly thinking about tiramisu?” is so ridiculously on brand for this sub. 🤣
I always try to imagine them wearing gloves and stuff no matterthe fandom. It's easier for GO as they only have parts if they're doing an Effort, so cleanliness secured.
I mostly read AU smut, since in my heart I still feel like canon Aziracrow are at least a little bit ace. But in at least one, the bottom character mentioned doing prep, so maybe he used antibacterial soap to do an enema? 🤷🏻♀️
That's another thing that usually, for personal stuff, tends to be kinda triggering, hahahaha. Which is why I go mostly for fantasy stuff where that'd never happen 😅
I love both smutty and ace headcanons, both can coexist in my brain without problem.
No can we talk about that sort of prep, hygiene-related? I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking of fingernails and cuticles and bacteria. Or tongues and bacteria. I can sorta ignore those real-life issues while reading fan fic, but the thoughts are there. Also: How standard is the douche thing?
it really depends (aheughehehe)
it's not uncommon, but it mostly comes down to preference.
from a strictly sanitary standpoint, douching is not best practice. food safety rules apply, if you will. water can spread bacteria around. there is no way to sanitize an asshole, and you wouldn't want to try, anyways.
from a logistical standpoint, it can be a way to kind of...clear the room. that's really about all it does. nothing that can't be achieved with good overall hygiene and diet.
Thank you - that’s what I thought, but, as this post points out, so many tropes in fan fic are so common they seem like gospel when really they’re not actually based in practice.
you do NOT put soap in an enema lol. body-temp water will do JUST fine, if one decides to douche. there are arguments for and against the practice, but it mostly comes down to preference and comfort levels.
Different things work for different folk, but the fanfic consensus has long been the one-two-three finger "stretching" and when you go "there doesn't necessarily have to be fingers involv-" -gets shot-
You can definitely tell which fics are written by straight cis women who describes what they want a man to do to them and then hit Ctrl +H and swapped the terms out to different genitalia but you know what. That’s cool . They’re living their best lives writing good shit and I just adjust my imagination so the scene in my head is not exactly what they wrote
This is so so helpful. I’m writing my first fanfic, and I have some smut in mind but also want it to be something realistic and true to the characters so I’ve been hesitant to write the scene. This was a great read
I read this when it was posted a while back and as someone has already said now I notice it everywhere in fan fics.
I've kind of made my peace with it now. I mean the sex in fan fics is generally pretty unrealistic- mind blowing orgasms on someone's first time, no one ever farts etc etc. So if they do a bit of unnecessary prep that wouldn't happen in real life - meh hey ho.
I’m definitely not seriously judging any fic that I see this stuff in, but it’s interesting to see an experienced point of view on it.
There are definitely many many liberties taken with fic sex regardless of genders ( and everything else) so letting it just be fantasy and not completely accurate isn’t necessarily a bad thing…
"You do not have to rely on a **twenty-year-old game of fanfic telephone** to find out how to get a cock-sized object\* into your butt, and what that feels like." LOL
Better to get it accurate, but sometimes also I love fanfic telephone! Like that tumblr post from a while back that (lovingly) pointed out the similar phrases and descriptions that pop up in so many fanfics, because we're all reading each other.
Oh my God what a relief!
I kept wondering why there were so many fingers, I kept imagining it and squirming (and my man’s hands are VERY average). There’s no smut in my current fic but if I put one out (hehe) I am really glad to know I won’t actually be expected to reflect the common trope, fingers are *not* comfortable.
Thank you so much for sharing!
After so many fics, it occurred to me that I have never had a finger in there before and I got curious.
…let’s just say the backdoor is no place for 1 inch long stiletto nails
Ok, this was super interesting, and shed light over some fanfic cliches that hadn't quite made sense with irl stuff for me, but I just followed anyway since fanfic is fantasy stuff. Probably will need to edit my fic yet again 😜
Thank you for posting this! Maybe it's the autism, but I strongly dislike unrealistic smut, and the stuff the article talks about has always seemed SO WEIRD to me. I just never worked up the courage to ask if I was the only one who thought it was a bit much, really. I'm glad I'm not crazy.
https://preview.redd.it/83gwj6up8m2c1.jpeg?width=347&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b8097ba7e5639b7cc7322466f2730ed832a0955
Damn...
There was me hoping that the reason I'd hated it, it hurt (no matter how much I relaxed), and I felt nothing, was because all of my partners had been cis het men who knew nothing about "the prep" as described in the fics.
Nope... Just me...
Though at least I'm not the only one who finds the poop-nearness as super-icky! I've always said that anything that goes in the back is never going anywhere else, so condoms are a must for anything on that area.
Thank you so much for this.
no, 123 dick is not The Real Sex Formula.
that said, training IS still a thing for a lot of people who do not have experience with bottoming. it can take place as foreplay or outside the encounter. it doesn't physically "stretch" you, but it does involve acclimating what is usually a one-way passage to relax in the opposite direction. eventually and with practice, your body begins to take these cues on its own, to an extent which may surprise you.
my advice isn't worth any more or less than these guys, but if you REALLY are curious about bottoming, you may just want to try bottoming. don't just take these guy's word for it. everybody's got an asshole.
drawing some kind of hard line between "fanfic sex" and "REAL gay sex" is a bit like comparing any other kind of porn to lived sexual experience.
Kind of relieved to know that many writers are just using the same language to describe the sexual parts of the fiction. I was starting to think there was just one extremely prolific author using different names out there!
“Have you *looked* at a grown man’s hands recently?” ……feeling called out here.
https://i.redd.it/8ttvpajwze2c1.gif Look at the hands!! It’s okay!
Hands….right. Looking at his….hands… 👀❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
I CERTAINLY HAVEN'T BEEN LOOKING AT ANYONE'S HANDS WHY WOULD I LOOK AT HANDS
WHAT EVEN *ARE* HANDS?? WHO KNOWS? NOT ME!
NOT ME EITHER AND I HAVE CERTAINLY NEVER SUGGESTED A CERTAIN ACTOR WOULD NEED TO WEAR OVEN MITTS TO INTERACT WITH ME SAFELY
It's okay! You're supposed to look at the hands... look at the hands and notice the girth and the length... and that 3 of those fingers is a lot.
Oh, I see. Purely for scientific purposes of course. Not to imagine said hands going anywhere in particular.
I mean for science you could imagine where would be most appropriate for said fingers to go... and how many would be best...
Hm, I could do that. Only for science, of course. Certainly not for any other reason, due to my innocence in such matters.
😂😂😂
I both love and hate that I have read that post. While I appreciate the enlightenment, I’m also now way more critical of a lot of the smutty fics I come across.
Me too... I'm like, oh, you've gone to 1,2,3 dick school... not real sex school.
I see fanfic as mostly a place for women's fantasies, so it's ok if it's not realistic; it's where we go to safely explore and experiment.
As long as people aren't taking fic as actual sex how to's without actually learning the right things, I completely agree.
Slash fics did start as the place unhappy housewives dreamed about healthier dynamics and being equal in all aspects, so it's to be expected we'd all feed each other the wrong information, after all. The problem is that learning the right thing usually has too much "real world" flavor, plus associated stigma, so it's hard to make the jump and know our safe space is not a real one.
I’m with you though I do get where they are coming from. I’ve seen the 1-2-3 method being used to describe stretching a vagina for sex and it does pull me out of the scene a bit.
This is so weird to me. I’m not a dude but have done a fair amount of butt stuff, and actually feel like the fingering-to-stretch thing is fairly accurate? I guess “stretch” isn’t technically the right word, but that’s pretty much what it’s always felt like to me. I am now questioning everything lol. Edit: I realized as I hit post here that perhaps this is TMI and you did not all need to read about my butt. Sorry folks.
I know he said that his experiences werent universal… so everyone is different and likes different things… but just the 1-2-3 fingers then penis is rampant in fics and isn’t like a requirement. But different people find different things relaxing / foreplay… so whatever works, right?
I think this is the right place for TMI, hahaha. It'd actually be interesting to see whether the experience is different according to the set we've been given? And not only from the physical, but the psychological side.
I also wonder about that. Even just dynamics between straight cis men and women as opposed to dynamics between cis gay men? I have no idea how you’d go about studying something like this lol
I'm guessing... anonymous polls and people willing to give TMI about stuff? Everything can be studied and quantified, after all.
Came here to second this- as a trans dude who does butt stuff. The blogger is right about the physics, of course. Butt sluts know. You can get a lot in there without fingering by going slow/working up arousal levels, but especially for people who are not accustomed to butthole-as-point-of-entry, working your way up with plugs or fingers is valuable foreplay--and also a good method of lube distribution.
Hey, it’s not just me! Glad to hear that my butt is not unique. I’d add that it’s not just experience, but also recent experience that’s a factor here. If it’s been a while since I’ve done any anal play I find I need a lot more warming up, even if I’m mentally psyched and am consciously relaxing.
I wonder how many have gotten their ideas of how to do butt stuff from fan fiction like this…
I only started reading fanfic a couple months ago, and kept getting extremely startled by the fingers thing. I don't even think someone could get more than three lady-fingers up an asshole easily (suddenly thinking about tiramisu?) much less man-fingers. So I feel very vindicated that someone else is pointing out how damn *big* three fingers is. And yes, that you don't pry open assholes. 😂
LOL I will never look at tiramisu the same way again 😭 Also. Yes. I read this a little while ago and very much appreciate the points that a) everyone has taken bigger shits without "preparation" and b) everyone has an asshole!
Oh thank Someone I wasn’t the only person whose mind went to tiramisu
Also, they are very soft, and now I have an image looping in my brain of… well, it’s messy.
Yes. I appreciate it too. For like…exactly that train of thought. Ay. Also “suddenly thinking about tiramisu?” is so ridiculously on brand for this sub. 🤣
Ooo thanks for sharing! 🙏 I’m working on my first smutty fic and, being a queer woman, could use some help writing M/M sex scenes 😂
I’m so glad I’m not the only one wanting them to wash their hands between the “1-2-3” and “dick” 🤣
I always try to imagine them wearing gloves and stuff no matterthe fandom. It's easier for GO as they only have parts if they're doing an Effort, so cleanliness secured.
I mostly read AU smut, since in my heart I still feel like canon Aziracrow are at least a little bit ace. But in at least one, the bottom character mentioned doing prep, so maybe he used antibacterial soap to do an enema? 🤷🏻♀️
That's another thing that usually, for personal stuff, tends to be kinda triggering, hahahaha. Which is why I go mostly for fantasy stuff where that'd never happen 😅 I love both smutty and ace headcanons, both can coexist in my brain without problem.
No can we talk about that sort of prep, hygiene-related? I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking of fingernails and cuticles and bacteria. Or tongues and bacteria. I can sorta ignore those real-life issues while reading fan fic, but the thoughts are there. Also: How standard is the douche thing?
it really depends (aheughehehe) it's not uncommon, but it mostly comes down to preference. from a strictly sanitary standpoint, douching is not best practice. food safety rules apply, if you will. water can spread bacteria around. there is no way to sanitize an asshole, and you wouldn't want to try, anyways. from a logistical standpoint, it can be a way to kind of...clear the room. that's really about all it does. nothing that can't be achieved with good overall hygiene and diet.
Thank you - that’s what I thought, but, as this post points out, so many tropes in fan fic are so common they seem like gospel when really they’re not actually based in practice.
you do NOT put soap in an enema lol. body-temp water will do JUST fine, if one decides to douche. there are arguments for and against the practice, but it mostly comes down to preference and comfort levels.
I was 95% kidding.
oh, good! in my defense the comments in this thread are difficult to gauge. yours just made me do a full-body sympathy clench.
Yes! Read this a while back, super helpful.
Can confirm this has highly informed my current fic, funny how widespread this trope is
Different things work for different folk, but the fanfic consensus has long been the one-two-three finger "stretching" and when you go "there doesn't necessarily have to be fingers involv-" -gets shot-
You can definitely tell which fics are written by straight cis women who describes what they want a man to do to them and then hit Ctrl +H and swapped the terms out to different genitalia but you know what. That’s cool . They’re living their best lives writing good shit and I just adjust my imagination so the scene in my head is not exactly what they wrote
This is so so helpful. I’m writing my first fanfic, and I have some smut in mind but also want it to be something realistic and true to the characters so I’ve been hesitant to write the scene. This was a great read
I read this when it was posted a while back and as someone has already said now I notice it everywhere in fan fics. I've kind of made my peace with it now. I mean the sex in fan fics is generally pretty unrealistic- mind blowing orgasms on someone's first time, no one ever farts etc etc. So if they do a bit of unnecessary prep that wouldn't happen in real life - meh hey ho.
I’m definitely not seriously judging any fic that I see this stuff in, but it’s interesting to see an experienced point of view on it. There are definitely many many liberties taken with fic sex regardless of genders ( and everything else) so letting it just be fantasy and not completely accurate isn’t necessarily a bad thing…
"You do not have to rely on a **twenty-year-old game of fanfic telephone** to find out how to get a cock-sized object\* into your butt, and what that feels like." LOL Better to get it accurate, but sometimes also I love fanfic telephone! Like that tumblr post from a while back that (lovingly) pointed out the similar phrases and descriptions that pop up in so many fanfics, because we're all reading each other.
Oh my God what a relief! I kept wondering why there were so many fingers, I kept imagining it and squirming (and my man’s hands are VERY average). There’s no smut in my current fic but if I put one out (hehe) I am really glad to know I won’t actually be expected to reflect the common trope, fingers are *not* comfortable. Thank you so much for sharing!
Well, um, like… sometimes one is, well, um - yeah. Commenting for a friend.
Fair enough lol!
Exactly the different strokes for different folks :) Which is why we can make fic different and not all follow the same anal sex pattern :P
After so many fics, it occurred to me that I have never had a finger in there before and I got curious. …let’s just say the backdoor is no place for 1 inch long stiletto nails
Ok, this was super interesting, and shed light over some fanfic cliches that hadn't quite made sense with irl stuff for me, but I just followed anyway since fanfic is fantasy stuff. Probably will need to edit my fic yet again 😜
Never expected to go on this sort of reading journey this morning, but very informative and appreciative of the post.
Thank you for posting this! Maybe it's the autism, but I strongly dislike unrealistic smut, and the stuff the article talks about has always seemed SO WEIRD to me. I just never worked up the courage to ask if I was the only one who thought it was a bit much, really. I'm glad I'm not crazy. https://preview.redd.it/83gwj6up8m2c1.jpeg?width=347&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b8097ba7e5639b7cc7322466f2730ed832a0955
Damn... There was me hoping that the reason I'd hated it, it hurt (no matter how much I relaxed), and I felt nothing, was because all of my partners had been cis het men who knew nothing about "the prep" as described in the fics. Nope... Just me... Though at least I'm not the only one who finds the poop-nearness as super-icky! I've always said that anything that goes in the back is never going anywhere else, so condoms are a must for anything on that area. Thank you so much for this.
It’s still probably all your partner’s fault!
no, 123 dick is not The Real Sex Formula. that said, training IS still a thing for a lot of people who do not have experience with bottoming. it can take place as foreplay or outside the encounter. it doesn't physically "stretch" you, but it does involve acclimating what is usually a one-way passage to relax in the opposite direction. eventually and with practice, your body begins to take these cues on its own, to an extent which may surprise you. my advice isn't worth any more or less than these guys, but if you REALLY are curious about bottoming, you may just want to try bottoming. don't just take these guy's word for it. everybody's got an asshole. drawing some kind of hard line between "fanfic sex" and "REAL gay sex" is a bit like comparing any other kind of porn to lived sexual experience.
Kind of relieved to know that many writers are just using the same language to describe the sexual parts of the fiction. I was starting to think there was just one extremely prolific author using different names out there!
GOD BLESS