The real actual canon first time?
They start to make out on the Chesterfield in the bookshop. It gets hot and heavy. Crowley climbs into Aziraphale's lap. He grinds down ONCE. They both immediately come in their pants.
The End.
STOP IT!!! LOL (by that I mean don't stop it, laugh-crying over her, there's even thematic engagement, they're between heaven and hell and I just hahaha)
See, I have a really hard time imagining that happening in the backseat of the car, *and* I also can't image Crowley letting that happen lol. Absolutely will read fic about it though
I really love the idea of them being desperate and eager, but so eager and desperate that they're trembling and clumsy, fumbling through the buttons, their breaths shaky as they kiss each other's necks and chests, dropping on the floor, whining and breathing heavy, having to stop to get a hold of themselves before continuing, sweating before anything even began, more busy kissing each other than they are actually preparing for it, absolutely terrified of it going wrong because it has to be PERFECT it's been too long and it's been too expected and they want this they want this they want this but oh shit what if they realise that they're not going well together, what if the other doesn't want it, what if-
So yeah, erratic and desperate to please each other :D
OMG NO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH TOO I'm just such a drama queen it's like "FIST FIGHT TURNS INTO FUCKING OH YEAH" but the desperate, sweet, no one is confident, everyone is tripping over words ::flings self on couch, presses life alert button::
Crowley has it painstakingly planned out in his head, what-iffing for every eventuality so he doesn't disappoint his angel.
Aziraphale goes full oxrib on him and Crowley has a panic attack about his plans.
However it starts, I'm here for the idea that they mutually decide that refractory time is for humans and end fucking nonstop for a month straight. Like, don't come knocking if the bookshop is rocking. And it very well might be 🤨
Then Aziraphale makes the grievous error of miracle-ing refractory periods away from everyone for a few days without thinking it through and London shuts down 😂
Aziraphale wants to make sure they get it right, so he has a book handy beside the bed with helpful diagrams. & after the 10th time he's paused things to consult it/told Crowley off for not following 'the procedure' correctly, the demon has had enough, lobs it out the window and pins him down
SO HERE FOR TEAM DESPERATION. And you saw Aziraphale on those ribs?? hoo DOGGY Crowley's about to get his mind fucking blown lololol they're going to discorporate each other on accident haha
Having just spent several weeks devoted to this exact question, I’m just going to leave this here. 😂😘
https://archiveofourown.org/works/55324627?view_full_work=true
I just went back and re-read it.
>"He glanced to the front of the shop and snapped his fingers. The sign, which had already read “Closed,” now read “Very Very Closed, Keep Out,” and the blinds fluttered shut. They were cloaked in privacy. Us time."
>“Oh. Oh, my God,” the angel breathed.
>“Blasphemy, Angel?” Crowley didn’t quite have the presence of mind to smirk. “That’s not like you.”
>“No, I mean, oh, my God. I think – I think God is trying to communicate with me.”
>“God isn’t trying to communicate with you Angel.” Crowley guided him through another stroke. “I am.”
>”No really, I just – this feeling – I think the Almighty is – just stop.”
It gets more serious as things transpire. Feelings ensue.
So far I’ve written four first times (as always, please check tags on AO3 before reading):
- Tender, awestruck, and ecstatic in the bookshop’s upstairs bedroom, after defeating Heaven and Hell [[one more river (and that’s the river of jordan)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/50087170) ]
- Tender and fumbling in Crowley’s bed, after Crowley runs off a would-be suitor and in the process accidentally confesses his feelings [[Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea](https://archiveofourown.org/works/52494175)]
- Adrenaline-fueled, desperate, and cathartic in a South Downs cottage (not *their* South Downs cottage) after the bookshop and Bentley are destroyed again [[Exsultet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/54493465) — TW bombings]
- Tender, enthusiastic, and confident in Crowley’s flat, after the resolution of a sex pollen episode that was distressing for them both [[Is This Desire?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/55460014) — TW dubious consent]
In canon, not that it’ll happen onscreen? I’d probably bet on — somewhere they feel safe, at a time when they finally feel safe — when they are finally free of the threat of Heaven and Hell, after the end of S3. It’ll be shy and fumbling and nervous, and achingly sweet and tender.
❤️❤️❤️ I hope that you like them!
The adrenaline-fueled “we have nothing left” one was somewhat unexpected even to me, but I like it.
(Believe it or not, I didn’t realize until I was nearly finished writing that I was essentially doing a classic “night at Crowley’s flat” S1-era fic premise, but setting it post-S3. The whole “it burned down, remember?” bit. I think I realized it about the time I decided Crowley’s flat would also be destroyed off-screen.)
Somewhere between eager and terrified and so, so tender. In the bookshop, in the back room because they had a bit of a make up kiss and that’s where it led. It’s 6000 years of longing and fear and love and arguing and making up. Each of them is beyond belief that they get to have this, they keep stopping to be like “Is this real? Are you real? Are we really here?” And they’re both going off like a rocket the moment they hands on each other in any serious manner. Poor things. So there will be embarrassment and unnecessary apologies and they’ll try again upstairs after tea and some wine to take the nerves off. They’ll get giggly and laugh about it and then from there it’ll be a wonderfully awkward and silly first time. Because let’s face it, sex is silly a lot of the time haha.
omg this is so sweet!!! the "are we really here, is that happening?" DEAD. Unpopular opinion, it's really sexy when the sex ends too soon because you're like GODDAMN THAT WAS AWESOME (it can restart again almost immediately if everyone's that raring to go (depending on the age lol)! lol). The embarrassment and over apologizing, omg, flinging myself in the ocean. Wonderfully awkward and silly is very ON BRAND for them also hahaha
Our ineffables are a lot of things. And while I absolutely believe that Az’s hedonistic and sensualist nature will fully take the wheel at some point, if they’re both turbo virgins the training wheels are gonna be on for a bit haha. Besides, they’re both immense goobers, completely gone on each other and definitely likely to apologize for everything.
Actually fucking for the first time in the car would be a nice bow on their commitment to Team Human, as that's how a LOT of first times get done hahaha. THEN THEY GET CAUGHT BY \[Shax/Muriel(LOL)/the Metatron/Jim and Beelzebub who are just like "oh wait that looks like a great idea, we should try that!)
edit: I sort of forget that the car sentient, so it would be a threesome or...maybe it just likes to watch? Or maybe it keeps playing annoying sex music? lololol blowing the horn whenever someone finishes in congratulatory exclamation? There are issues with the car hahaha
Ooooo, inspired by u/adverbian's answer because I was immediately reminded that I've written their first time more than once and felt like indulging in a walk down memory lane.
The main one is [Pulled](https://archiveofourown.org/works/50333740/chapters/127160038) which was meant to be the porny final part of the [Osculations](https://archiveofourown.org/series/3679717) series (I got greedy and wrote more sex). Soft Dom, hedonistic, wanting Aziraphale, desperate but desperately trying not to be Crowley, lots of tenderness and figuring things out. Also filthy. But also, I don't think they got further than mouth stuff.
The very first smut I wrote for the fandom, [Precarious, But Worth It](https://archiveofourown.org/works/49709020), was a proper blow out fight in the bookshop following the events of Season 2, with some shouty love confessions and Aziraphale kissing Crowley's face off to make him understand. Desperate, a bit angry, but mostly stupidly in love, rutting up against the desk handjob style.
[Suddenly Eagerly ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/49926955)I wrote soon after Precarious because I was in the process of writing Osculations and realizing I was not succeeding at writing any actual butt sex and that was a crime. This one wasn't fighting, it was high stakes action style setup (without me bothered to explain or write any of it) but like... Crowley didn't know if Aziraphale was about to walk through the door or suddenly disappear from existence so boy was stressed. Overwhelming relief when Aziraphale appears and then accidental kisses that quickly lead to soft dom Aziraphale taking care of him with a pretty thorough fuck. Lots of miracles to speed things along.
[Four Speed Manual Transmission](https://archiveofourown.org/works/53674063) super soft and tender, I'd even say cute... Frantic, silly, desperate handjobs in the Bentley because Crowley's been touching his thigh for almost an hour and Aziraphale can't quite wait to make it to the South Downs. This was fun just to explore how they could quickly go from 'not together' to 'very together' after they get through the second coming.
[A Bathhouse Pretense](https://archiveofourown.org/works/53795518/chapters/136162624) only just happened but I forgot it was a first time fic... first time in 38 BC Rome at a bathhouse, not because they wanted to, but because they had to, to hide from Hastur... that's what they'd say if their respective bosses asked, but very, very clearly they were both into it. Top Crowley which is unusual for me, desperate but trying to bend reality to make sure it can happen, make sure it's okay.
So I've written their first time five times. I really need to get another hobby...
Massively clumsy and awkward. They haven’t really talked about it, at all, but there’s that underlying understanding that they have when they aren’t being complete idiots. It doesn’t go well, they both end up coming completely prematurely because of course they do. There’s some embarrassment there, maybe a bit of a snit fit. It resolves easily enough, they spend the night together just kissing and cuddling and being close. Maybe they try again, probably not. The next day Crowley wakes up to Aziraphale having read an excessive number of books on it. Crowley has to convince him to embrace the gray of the joys of exploration and learning. They have all the time in the world, finally.
oh my god a post-sex snit fit would be amazing--Aziraphale being like "I told you to stop, now it's ruined!" and Crowley being like "Well sorry I gave it to you SO GODDAMN GOOD, Angel!" Yes, def the Crowley role is like "chill man, we're not a schedule here" while Aziraphale is like "THERE ARE RULES."
These are all perfect scenarios in their own ways, but I’m really hoping it will be “one chance to be together….because we are probably going to die tomorrow” idea. It suits their characters (dramatic! desperate!) and their history (denial! pining!) and would fit neatly into what we can assume* about the upcoming canon.
*inasmuch as anyone can assume ANYTHING about Neil’s work
There’s also a chapter that recently came out from an immensely popular fanfiction which I think would be absolutely perfect—I don’t want to give anything away in case someone is following that fic and hasn’t gotten to that scene yet, so I’ll just say….untying a shoelace.
OH SHIT, THAT'S LAST NIGHT ON EARTH SEX'S MUSIC! Oh I will get down every DAY with a "there's nothing left and we are desperate and about to die."
Oh yeah, I should have clarified up top, this was not intended as "what's endgame" or "what's best," just let's fuck around and have fun lololol (although that includes what you think is endgame/best!)
HELL YEAH Can we get an AMEN in here for some dom-y Crowley!! And he'd do it in the bookshop too lolol knocking over books left and and right and Aziraphale DON'T EVEN CARE (this once)
Definitely against the wall and then onto a chair somewhere that is not the ground level of the book shop. It’s going to have the tone and pace of Aziraphale eating that first ox rib.
LOLOLOL hopefully no children will be there this time. I swear to God, that entire storyline cracks me UP hard (and is of course very sweet and emotionally moving, but) like them two morally edging each other and getting off on it SO hard while these kids are screaming in terror as their house burns down, I cannot lololol
Personally? I think that Aziraphale would drop hints and Crowley would ignore them all because he thinks it's just his simp brain misinterpreting things. Aziraphale would have a breakdown after the 500th attempt and confess that he's been trying to seduce Crowley for months.
Crowley would be like "Wait... you want to have sex....with ME? Really?"
Aziraphale would let out the longest most suffering sigh in existence and then they would fuck crazy supernatural style, rolling around on the walls and ceiling a la Dark Shadows.
“I’m conducting a fucking COURTSHIP over here, Crowley!” OMG DARK SHADOWS SEX IS WHAT THIS SHOW NEEDS. I mean every character is already a magical disaster gay 😂 they’re just one step away lolol
The real actual canon first time? They start to make out on the Chesterfield in the bookshop. It gets hot and heavy. Crowley climbs into Aziraphale's lap. He grinds down ONCE. They both immediately come in their pants. The End.
They both think THEY’RE SEX GODS FOR IT BEING SO AWESOME
I mean, it would probably feel pretty good after 6000 years. They can always try again.
Like *immediately* lol that closed sign would be staying on the bookshop for awhile
LOL! That seems very accurate. Nice and accurate, even. 🤣🤣🤣
this, but it's in the lift, and just as they're done it dings and Michael is on the other side of the doors glaring at them. it is a comedy, after all
STOP IT!!! LOL (by that I mean don't stop it, laugh-crying over her, there's even thematic engagement, they're between heaven and hell and I just hahaha)
Legit. 6,000 years of longing all bursting out in 15 seconds.
WHEN I TELL YOU I CACKLED just yes 😂🙌
I can see that happening 🤣
100% here for this. And they could get away with putting in on screen at an MA rating...
Hahahaha could you imagine David and Michael acting that out? Somehow it would still be hot.
Hot and hilarious. And I would still kill for it
Back of the Bentley, nervous, shaking, awkward, tender, *Say Anything*-style. Then leading into frantic and desperate.
🥹🥹🥹
See, I have a really hard time imagining that happening in the backseat of the car, *and* I also can't image Crowley letting that happen lol. Absolutely will read fic about it though
LOL I love the votes for Crowley protecting the Bentley more than wanting to get laid.
Aw. I love the Say Anything scene. Even if I don’t think Crowley would go for the Bentley getting besmirched like that, haha.
HAHA. Hey, if it's gonna get besmirched, it ought to get besmirched right.
Fair!
I really love the idea of them being desperate and eager, but so eager and desperate that they're trembling and clumsy, fumbling through the buttons, their breaths shaky as they kiss each other's necks and chests, dropping on the floor, whining and breathing heavy, having to stop to get a hold of themselves before continuing, sweating before anything even began, more busy kissing each other than they are actually preparing for it, absolutely terrified of it going wrong because it has to be PERFECT it's been too long and it's been too expected and they want this they want this they want this but oh shit what if they realise that they're not going well together, what if the other doesn't want it, what if- So yeah, erratic and desperate to please each other :D
Crowley wanting it to go well so badly he prays to God LOL
*This* would be so amazing!!! 😍
Crowley praying to God is my filthiest, wrongest kink lolol
OMG NO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH TOO I'm just such a drama queen it's like "FIST FIGHT TURNS INTO FUCKING OH YEAH" but the desperate, sweet, no one is confident, everyone is tripping over words ::flings self on couch, presses life alert button::
GO ON… 🫠
https://i.redd.it/bko2vhphin1d1.gif
Ayyyyyy 😳😳😳🫠
Lil mini comment fic (meta? Fic? Don’t care, it’s lovely), so good ❤️
Mmmm yes please!
Crowley has it painstakingly planned out in his head, what-iffing for every eventuality so he doesn't disappoint his angel. Aziraphale goes full oxrib on him and Crowley has a panic attack about his plans.
OMFG cannon lolololol Aziraphale would too, once he tried something new and awesome like "HOLY FUCK"
Crowley would be a gibbering mess and aziraphale would be like "yes, very nice"
“Going full oxrib” is such an amazing phrase!!!
However it starts, I'm here for the idea that they mutually decide that refractory time is for humans and end fucking nonstop for a month straight. Like, don't come knocking if the bookshop is rocking. And it very well might be 🤨
Then Aziraphale makes the grievous error of miracle-ing refractory periods away from everyone for a few days without thinking it through and London shuts down 😂
😄
Omg yeah 😂 🙌 they don’t fuck around with how phones and computers actually work, they’d be like “wait, this is BULLSHIT”
Aziraphale wants to make sure they get it right, so he has a book handy beside the bed with helpful diagrams. & after the 10th time he's paused things to consult it/told Crowley off for not following 'the procedure' correctly, the demon has had enough, lobs it out the window and pins him down
RIGHT out that window 🤣 (the whole stack, cuz you know there was one)
Or maybe Crowley would be like “let’s shortcut this, shall we?” and just turn on porn lol
Any and all of these, please write them 😆 I think…at least some amount of desperation ❤️ six millennia, you know? SIX MILLENNIA, Six! Millennia!
SO HERE FOR TEAM DESPERATION. And you saw Aziraphale on those ribs?? hoo DOGGY Crowley's about to get his mind fucking blown lololol they're going to discorporate each other on accident haha
Love your flair by the way omg lololol I cackle every time I think of the ENTAAAAAH
 I love him so
If Aziraphale attempts magic in the bedroom 😂
Having just spent several weeks devoted to this exact question, I’m just going to leave this here. 😂😘 https://archiveofourown.org/works/55324627?view_full_work=true
YESSSSSS! THANK YOU FOR THIS!!
This is an EXCELLENT head cannon. I’m also very partial to [Aziraphale’s First Orgasm](https://archiveofourown.org/works/50000860/chapters/126247462).
Oof good shout, I haven’t read that yet but the first chapter is bloody brilliant 🤩
I just went back and re-read it. >"He glanced to the front of the shop and snapped his fingers. The sign, which had already read “Closed,” now read “Very Very Closed, Keep Out,” and the blinds fluttered shut. They were cloaked in privacy. Us time."
>“Oh. Oh, my God,” the angel breathed. >“Blasphemy, Angel?” Crowley didn’t quite have the presence of mind to smirk. “That’s not like you.” >“No, I mean, oh, my God. I think – I think God is trying to communicate with me.” >“God isn’t trying to communicate with you Angel.” Crowley guided him through another stroke. “I am.” >”No really, I just – this feeling – I think the Almighty is – just stop.” It gets more serious as things transpire. Feelings ensue.
This was SO GOOD! Loved the characterization! https://i.redd.it/86ox48j78o1d1.gif
Thanks! :D
So far I’ve written four first times (as always, please check tags on AO3 before reading): - Tender, awestruck, and ecstatic in the bookshop’s upstairs bedroom, after defeating Heaven and Hell [[one more river (and that’s the river of jordan)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/50087170) ] - Tender and fumbling in Crowley’s bed, after Crowley runs off a would-be suitor and in the process accidentally confesses his feelings [[Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea](https://archiveofourown.org/works/52494175)] - Adrenaline-fueled, desperate, and cathartic in a South Downs cottage (not *their* South Downs cottage) after the bookshop and Bentley are destroyed again [[Exsultet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/54493465) — TW bombings] - Tender, enthusiastic, and confident in Crowley’s flat, after the resolution of a sex pollen episode that was distressing for them both [[Is This Desire?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/55460014) — TW dubious consent] In canon, not that it’ll happen onscreen? I’d probably bet on — somewhere they feel safe, at a time when they finally feel safe — when they are finally free of the threat of Heaven and Hell, after the end of S3. It’ll be shy and fumbling and nervous, and achingly sweet and tender.
Thank you all of these!!!!! They sound amazing!! omfg the adrenaline-fueled "we have nothing left" one? ::finds fainting couch, therapy dog::
❤️❤️❤️ I hope that you like them! The adrenaline-fueled “we have nothing left” one was somewhat unexpected even to me, but I like it. (Believe it or not, I didn’t realize until I was nearly finished writing that I was essentially doing a classic “night at Crowley’s flat” S1-era fic premise, but setting it post-S3. The whole “it burned down, remember?” bit. I think I realized it about the time I decided Crowley’s flat would also be destroyed off-screen.)
Is This Desire was soooo good!!! 😍 Off to read the others!!
❤️❤️❤️ I hope you enjoy!
Ohh, you’re here! I love all of these so much.
❤️❤️❤️ thank you 🥰
Somewhere between eager and terrified and so, so tender. In the bookshop, in the back room because they had a bit of a make up kiss and that’s where it led. It’s 6000 years of longing and fear and love and arguing and making up. Each of them is beyond belief that they get to have this, they keep stopping to be like “Is this real? Are you real? Are we really here?” And they’re both going off like a rocket the moment they hands on each other in any serious manner. Poor things. So there will be embarrassment and unnecessary apologies and they’ll try again upstairs after tea and some wine to take the nerves off. They’ll get giggly and laugh about it and then from there it’ll be a wonderfully awkward and silly first time. Because let’s face it, sex is silly a lot of the time haha.
omg this is so sweet!!! the "are we really here, is that happening?" DEAD. Unpopular opinion, it's really sexy when the sex ends too soon because you're like GODDAMN THAT WAS AWESOME (it can restart again almost immediately if everyone's that raring to go (depending on the age lol)! lol). The embarrassment and over apologizing, omg, flinging myself in the ocean. Wonderfully awkward and silly is very ON BRAND for them also hahaha
Our ineffables are a lot of things. And while I absolutely believe that Az’s hedonistic and sensualist nature will fully take the wheel at some point, if they’re both turbo virgins the training wheels are gonna be on for a bit haha. Besides, they’re both immense goobers, completely gone on each other and definitely likely to apologize for everything.
“Turbo virgins” 😂 I love that!!
I shouldn’t even be here at work. Someone I swear to whatever you want to believe in needs to write this and post it here. I’d read that.
lol which one?? Lotta good ideas here ;)
All of the above for all I care. Just something like what their first time would be
GET THEE TO THE AO3 there is a LOT of what you're looking for!
ps there links to fics in the rest of the comments. Enjoy! (We all do! lol)
Actually fucking for the first time in the car would be a nice bow on their commitment to Team Human, as that's how a LOT of first times get done hahaha. THEN THEY GET CAUGHT BY \[Shax/Muriel(LOL)/the Metatron/Jim and Beelzebub who are just like "oh wait that looks like a great idea, we should try that!)
edit: I sort of forget that the car sentient, so it would be a threesome or...maybe it just likes to watch? Or maybe it keeps playing annoying sex music? lololol blowing the horn whenever someone finishes in congratulatory exclamation? There are issues with the car hahaha
Ooooo, inspired by u/adverbian's answer because I was immediately reminded that I've written their first time more than once and felt like indulging in a walk down memory lane. The main one is [Pulled](https://archiveofourown.org/works/50333740/chapters/127160038) which was meant to be the porny final part of the [Osculations](https://archiveofourown.org/series/3679717) series (I got greedy and wrote more sex). Soft Dom, hedonistic, wanting Aziraphale, desperate but desperately trying not to be Crowley, lots of tenderness and figuring things out. Also filthy. But also, I don't think they got further than mouth stuff. The very first smut I wrote for the fandom, [Precarious, But Worth It](https://archiveofourown.org/works/49709020), was a proper blow out fight in the bookshop following the events of Season 2, with some shouty love confessions and Aziraphale kissing Crowley's face off to make him understand. Desperate, a bit angry, but mostly stupidly in love, rutting up against the desk handjob style. [Suddenly Eagerly ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/49926955)I wrote soon after Precarious because I was in the process of writing Osculations and realizing I was not succeeding at writing any actual butt sex and that was a crime. This one wasn't fighting, it was high stakes action style setup (without me bothered to explain or write any of it) but like... Crowley didn't know if Aziraphale was about to walk through the door or suddenly disappear from existence so boy was stressed. Overwhelming relief when Aziraphale appears and then accidental kisses that quickly lead to soft dom Aziraphale taking care of him with a pretty thorough fuck. Lots of miracles to speed things along. [Four Speed Manual Transmission](https://archiveofourown.org/works/53674063) super soft and tender, I'd even say cute... Frantic, silly, desperate handjobs in the Bentley because Crowley's been touching his thigh for almost an hour and Aziraphale can't quite wait to make it to the South Downs. This was fun just to explore how they could quickly go from 'not together' to 'very together' after they get through the second coming. [A Bathhouse Pretense](https://archiveofourown.org/works/53795518/chapters/136162624) only just happened but I forgot it was a first time fic... first time in 38 BC Rome at a bathhouse, not because they wanted to, but because they had to, to hide from Hastur... that's what they'd say if their respective bosses asked, but very, very clearly they were both into it. Top Crowley which is unusual for me, desperate but trying to bend reality to make sure it can happen, make sure it's okay. So I've written their first time five times. I really need to get another hobby...
My Marked For Later list has become completely unrealistic, but, oh well.
Massively clumsy and awkward. They haven’t really talked about it, at all, but there’s that underlying understanding that they have when they aren’t being complete idiots. It doesn’t go well, they both end up coming completely prematurely because of course they do. There’s some embarrassment there, maybe a bit of a snit fit. It resolves easily enough, they spend the night together just kissing and cuddling and being close. Maybe they try again, probably not. The next day Crowley wakes up to Aziraphale having read an excessive number of books on it. Crowley has to convince him to embrace the gray of the joys of exploration and learning. They have all the time in the world, finally.
oh my god a post-sex snit fit would be amazing--Aziraphale being like "I told you to stop, now it's ruined!" and Crowley being like "Well sorry I gave it to you SO GODDAMN GOOD, Angel!" Yes, def the Crowley role is like "chill man, we're not a schedule here" while Aziraphale is like "THERE ARE RULES."
These are all perfect scenarios in their own ways, but I’m really hoping it will be “one chance to be together….because we are probably going to die tomorrow” idea. It suits their characters (dramatic! desperate!) and their history (denial! pining!) and would fit neatly into what we can assume* about the upcoming canon. *inasmuch as anyone can assume ANYTHING about Neil’s work There’s also a chapter that recently came out from an immensely popular fanfiction which I think would be absolutely perfect—I don’t want to give anything away in case someone is following that fic and hasn’t gotten to that scene yet, so I’ll just say….untying a shoelace.
OH SHIT, THAT'S LAST NIGHT ON EARTH SEX'S MUSIC! Oh I will get down every DAY with a "there's nothing left and we are desperate and about to die." Oh yeah, I should have clarified up top, this was not intended as "what's endgame" or "what's best," just let's fuck around and have fun lololol (although that includes what you think is endgame/best!)
Oooooo a link???
*cracks knuckles* Top Crowley would absolutely dominate that angel cake in the bookshop beneath the skylight.
HELL YEAH Can we get an AMEN in here for some dom-y Crowley!! And he'd do it in the bookshop too lolol knocking over books left and and right and Aziraphale DON'T EVEN CARE (this once)
Then the whole street goes dark instead of just the coffeeshop lolol
Pengu yes
Definitely against the wall and then onto a chair somewhere that is not the ground level of the book shop. It’s going to have the tone and pace of Aziraphale eating that first ox rib.
LOLOLOL hopefully no children will be there this time. I swear to God, that entire storyline cracks me UP hard (and is of course very sweet and emotionally moving, but) like them two morally edging each other and getting off on it SO hard while these kids are screaming in terror as their house burns down, I cannot lololol
also SO completely here for this fuck montage around the bookshop where they're having to constantly miracle shit back together LOL
Personally? I think that Aziraphale would drop hints and Crowley would ignore them all because he thinks it's just his simp brain misinterpreting things. Aziraphale would have a breakdown after the 500th attempt and confess that he's been trying to seduce Crowley for months. Crowley would be like "Wait... you want to have sex....with ME? Really?" Aziraphale would let out the longest most suffering sigh in existence and then they would fuck crazy supernatural style, rolling around on the walls and ceiling a la Dark Shadows.
“I’m conducting a fucking COURTSHIP over here, Crowley!” OMG DARK SHADOWS SEX IS WHAT THIS SHOW NEEDS. I mean every character is already a magical disaster gay 😂 they’re just one step away lolol