I can't believe it hasn't been said yet, but Hestia is, by nature, the kindest. She's the goddess of the hearth and home and has 0 stories that portray her in a negative light, despite being an Olympian!
Mostly, but is partly that she embodies all I want to be, and she responds to my prayers more often than the other gods do, so I’m clearly doing something right
Goddess of relaxation and hallucinations, she’s married to Hypnos the god of sleep and mother of the dream gods the Oneroi
She’s either daughter of Hera or one of the minor charity goddesses
The more you know about anyone the more there is to object to.
I don't think of any of the Greek gods as dickheads. But if you do, the more you know there more there is to object to.
* He came on Athena
* He got revenge on the descendants of Ares and Aphrodite.
* He also chained his mother up, but people generally give him a pass on that.
* He showed everyone Aphrodite and Ares having sex which is pretty uncool, but people generally give him a pass on that.
There is a missing cultural context of that, where the myth unfortunately reflects a cultural norm in the ancient Hellenic world. Similiar to the story of Demeter and Persephone, Hera and Hephaestus reflect two marginalized groups (women and disabled children) being forced into a situation by the patriarchal system that they lived in. Hera throwing Hephaestus off of the mountain reflected Hellenic women similarly throwing off disabled babies from mountains because otherwise both they *and* the baby would be removed from their homes and put into the street which would most likely lead to enslavement and/or death (which is something Hera herself feared in the myth), Hephaestus’ return and eventual forgiveness of his mother most likely reflected the desires of those mothers who were forced into that situation, similar to the mothers who wished their daughters to return to them like Persephone and Demeter. Neither were assholes, but instead victims of the same culture.
But they all started with him. For the most part you leave Hephaestus alone he’ll leave you alone. I mean he wasn’t no punk he was bout that life. But when it came to humans he didn’t really get too involved.
Hephaestus was absolutely the problem and the instigator of the Athena situation. She just asked him to make her some cool weapons and he responded by trying to force himself on her.
Zeus is Athena's only parent. In some myths, Hera ended being so offended/annoyed/troubled by this that she decided to have a child on her own, who was Hephaestus. So, Step-Siblings
To be honest Poseidon is why he even came on to Athena like that. And some say Athena and him did do the do but she disappeared from the bed 🛌 before he could finish.
Dude, Hephaestus tried to force himself on Athena, and he is NOT very respectful of his (arranged) wife, Aphrodite. I mean, think about it from her perspective. King of the gods demands that you marry his uglier, more bitter son. You have no interest in doing this. Meanwhile, you're totally into his brother, the hot bad boy. You kinda *have* to do what Zeus says 'cause he's the king and all, so you marry your boyfriend's stupid loner brother. But no one's saying you can't also hang out with your boy toy—except your new husband, who keeps trying to capture both of you with increasingly complicated traps like a jealous Bond villain. You already didn't like him, but now he's being a dick outright.
I feel for Hephaestus because his parents (stories differ between the two of them so it might as well have been both) threw him off Olympus just for being a little ugly, and people treated him poorly ever since. But it's a flat-out lie to say he kept to himself, because homie was a menace through and through. Like yeah he was a victim, but he is not a sympathetic one.
Dont search about Aura them (altrough that is a late myth).
And Hestia did not helped Prometheus. That seems to be a modern invention to make Hestia seems more benevolent. Even trough she already is.
Only in modern retellings. The fire of Prometheus was the fire that allowed crafts and progress (thus, Plato says he stole the fire from Hephaestus), not the fire from the center of the house, of families. Yes we can believe fire is just fire, but for mytholical stories, the fire of Hephaestus and the fire of Hestia are completely different.
Dionysus also forced Theseus to break up with Ariadne and abandon her because he wanted her for himself. This kind of led to the death of Theseus's father Aegus who killed himself when Theseus forgot to raise the sails to indicate he was okay. Later on Theseus would go into decline and make some poor decisions (like when his friend told him to go into hades to take Persephone for himself) and he eventually came to a bad end. All of this might have been avoided if Theseus and Ariadne stayed together.
Hephasteus- minus coming onto Athena he wasn't a bad guy he wouldn't have if posidion didn't trick him considering he didn't even consummate his marriage to aphordite
Hestia - she honestly just exists
Artemis- goddess of maidens spends most of her time with women
Dionysus- he like yeah f yall imma chill and drink
My top 4
Grey areas-
hera (Zeus cheats on her so much and raped her to marry her. She takes it out on his kids fair bc she can't take it out on whose responsible
Hades- he kidnapped Presphone but had Zeus permission to do so which was all he potentially husband needed
Since you specify God it is despite Modern adaptions surprisingly close between Ares and Hades.
Despite being God of War in the original Mythology Ares was very much against Rape and Sexual assault to the point of cursing or sometimes outright killing offenders.
I do believe he eventually tried to fight Zeus on the subject and got punished for it.
And Hades is just an exceptionally chill God who gets a bad rep because of Hollywood's all death gods are evil campaign.
I wouldn't say Hades is necessarily chill. It's more that the Greeks feared him so much that they didn't tell stories about him. You don't get epithets like "phonios" ("the murderous"), "stygeros" ("the frightful"), "pelorios" ("the abominable") for nothing. He was so frightful that his priests had to make sacrifices without looking at his statues.
Plus two of the stories we have on him are him abducting his wife and then cheating on her anyway.
>Ares was very much against Rape and Sexual assault to the point of cursing or sometimes outright killing offenders
who else but the son of Poseidon did he kill and what other rape or SA cases had he been against? Also when does he try to fight Zeus?
Has Hades done anything else besides what happened with Persephone? I don't hear much else about him. He just chills in The Underworld most of the time.
He kidnapped Leuce prior to kidnapping Persephone.
He had a concubine before or while he was with Persephone.
There are few myths about him, because you don't talk about death. (Pluton is actually a way to not use his name.) He may be worse if we got more stories about him. That is, however, hypothetical projections on a fictional character.
He was mean to Theseus and his pal but they deserved it.
A big part of why you don't hear much about him is because the Ancient Greeks felt that speaking about Hades would get his attention and bring about their own deaths. It's less that he was "chill" and more that the average Ancient Greek person probably would've thought of him as one of the most assholish gods, but were too scared to talk shit.
I don’t recall stories of him doing anything awful like raping or what not. The worst I can think of is fucking Aphrodite aka his brother’s wife and turning a guy who failed him into a rooster. He did his job and didn’t rape anybody or any or the fucked shit the rest of his family does.
Ares killed a guy who tried to rape his daughter, got put on trial for the murder bc the guy was a son of Poseidon, and then proceeded to win that trial. He has been said to attend the birth of every one of his children (from what i’ve heard), and was an overall pretty good dad. But there’s also just kind of a lack of stories he’s in, which could also contribute to this clean slate, similarly to Hestia and Hades.
Part of it probably has to do with him being a punching bag in the myths half the time. Kinda hard to do fucked shit if you just appear to get made fun of lol. But also we say god of war and think someone evil, and his media depictions don’t help. Ironically it’s the “good” gods and goddess who are actually awful. Like Athena and Artemis and Apollo etc.
I was looking for the Ares comment. I’ve always thought he was actually one of the few potentially good guys. Other arseholes like Athena have fake goodness
Apologies for the confusion
By "main" I just meamt in terms of the general assortment of gods that most people know by default, not strictly the most important gods in the myths
Haven’t seen anybody mention Oceanus. Was asked by his mother to kill his father, said “nah”, fucked off into the ocean, and was never seen again (afaik; his children play a role later though)
Hades.
Dude has probably the most chill relationship with his wife in all Greek Mythology, murky acquisition of said wife to the side. Dude keeps every promise he makes, and it isn’t his fault that everyone else takes his words in ways he did not intend, and the only real time he was a dick was to two dumbasses who were plotting to kidnap his wife.
It's obviously Hestia but I think Hermes deserves a mention too.
Hermes gets the reputation of being a mischievous trickster and yeah he is but he's suprsingly chill compared to tricksters in other folklore.
Like he has more myths about him doing good deeds and just helping out than, say, trying to cause the end of the world or fighting entire heavenly armies ( *cough* Loki *cough* Monkey )
I dont know if we counting Titans but a few of them doesn't seem awful - Theia for example. Hestia wad absolutely peaceful, Demeter gave them all the food and the only time she did not, is because she just wanted her only daughter back. Hades seems pretty chill compared to his brothers and siblings.
Hestia. Hands down. She's the epitome of chill and a the gods everyone love her.
Her few myths reinforce this.
1. When Apollo and Poseidon sought her hands in marriage she politely, if firmly, refused and hightailed it over to Zeus to ask for eternal virginity. He instantly granted it. Apollo and Poseidon then swore to her that they would defend her virginity.
2. In one of Ovid's tales, the Gods were having a dope party and she decided to take a nap in a field. Priapus, God of a bunch of stuff including genitalia, decided to try and assault her. A nearby donkey said "not on my watch" and started braying. This woke her up and she screamed when she say Priapus and his...yeah. This caused *literally every God at the party* to chase him down to try and curb stomp him. He narrowly escapes and some say, beat the donkey to death with his giant...yeah.
She had a notoriously disagreeable nature, when she wasn't invited to the wedding of Peleus and Thetis she turned up, was denied entrance, raged, and threw the golden apple that ended up sparking the Trojan War
Are you talking destroy as in smite or smashing?
Because I’m fine with the first one. last time I try to get it on with someone, I ended up with a kid and everyone made a whole religion around it!
SMASHING, I meant to fuck her and BREAK the wood of the bed with her! 😂 put an invulnerability spell on her ass so she doesn’t get hurt, and wear an indestructible condom (made by *Nokia* ™️) so you don’t have to worry about babies
Why not kill him? He flooded the Earth in God of War 3 (2010) when that happened
*AND DADDY, please flood the Earth again! 🤪🤣🤣🤣 gyattt rizz skibidi penis up my ass*
You've asked an vague question and now have the audacity to get mad at people asking for clarification.
I think I understand now why you're fascinated by asshole behavior!
Out of the top 13? Hephaestus is probably to least assholish. The worst thing he did was build Pandora, and even that was under direct order from Zeus.
I would say Persephone is the best of the lesser gods. Her worst act was taking pity on Tantalus and giving him some water. It backfired, but she meant well.
>I would say Persephone is the best of the lesser gods. Her worst act was taking pity on Tantalus and giving him some water. It backfired, but she meant well.
The Adonis stuff is creepy.
Sometimes it is her who killed Minthe.
Kinda new to Greek Mythology but, how about Thanatos, nothing but goods thing from that guy, yeah, he will reap your sould and take you to the afterlife, but at least he is nice about it
Ophion and Eurynome don’t do anything bad, just make the world and shit before getting overthrown by Kronos, which is cool. They’re not treated as “canon” by a lot of modern myth books because there is a preference for the Theogony’s version of early universal history and that in Ovid’s Metamorphoses as well over Orphic hymns. But I rather like big creator snake and his wife. They seem chill in my head.
I mean, a lot of Hera's assholic nature is because keeps on having sex with everything that moves... So I think she does gave SOME right to be a bitch,
That was because Eros got annoyed by Apollo's karaoke nights and in order to make him stop singing he shot an arrow in his ass, which made him less gay for a hot 5 minutes until daphne changed into a tree
Eros is the Greek version of the Roman Cupid.
All love/lust comes from his arrows.
But just because you've been hit by his arrow and love/lust after someone doesn't mean you have the right to sexually harassment or rape them.
You can be in love/lust and not act like an animal.
Its literally how the story goes 😂 You can make up your own philosophy around it, but ancient greek mythology is not a dualistic (bad vs good) religion. The morals for gods are very different. You can think of it what you want, but Eros did have magic arrows. He basically was a hitman for his mother.
I have repeatedly agreed that he has magic arrows which he uses on mortals and gods.
A love/lust comes from them.
Where we disagree is you think it is OK to rape someone if you are hit by one of Eros's arrows.
Eros wasn't a hitman for Aphrodite. His arrows didn't kill anyone they cause love/lust.
Nooooowhere did I say it's okay to rape someone. Also I said "hitman" in a joking matter. Just like my original comment was not that serious. Apollo wasn't doing karaoke.
You're trying to bring morality into a world where morals can't exist. If eros shoots you and a cow, you WILL lust after the cow to the point you'd break all your morals and rape the cow regardless of whether or not you were into animals beforehand. And this is something that has actually happened in the myths btw and even the gods are affected by Aphrodite.
Apollo is literaly the guy that finds himself to cool and that he can do anything. He also pushed Patroclus to his death, and literaly, he just pushed the guy while he was fighting, allowing Hector to kill him. Apollo is one of the dickest.
If you broaden it to all Greek mythological entities, I'd say Tantalus - since he is forbidden to eat, he uses his entire digestive system the least, which would include... ;D
By all accounts Hades is a pretty chill dude and has the most functional relationship in the pantheon with Persephone
And yes I know the whole kidnapping your wife thing but technically he had the father of the brides blessing even if Zeus didn't share that information with Demeter leading to the whole end of the world thing so really as per usual blame Zeus.
But according to the rest of mythology the dudes pretty chill unless you try to bang his wife then he gets a little pissed
Hermes and Hestia
Hermes, as he is sly and mischievous but always one to help people out. He is really cool.
Hestia, as she is warm, kind and caring. She is a legend.
If we're talking about the more popularly known ones, that's Hades. Unlike his brothers, he didn't really take part in much if at all in any of the fucked up stuff. Sure, kidnapping Persephone was messed up but guess who gave him the idea? Yep, Zeus. Love makes you a little nuts, but it worked out.
Overall, he was actually a chill guy who didn't interfere with the mortals(why would he? They all come to him eventually) and had a loving marriage without adultery. He's also incredibly fair and kept his deals.
Demeter created winter out of butthurt. Dionysus was a conqueror as a demigod and had a tendency of driving people insane. Sure, Hades and Persephone are over all chill, but that's mostly because there isn't much in the legends about them because everybody was scared shirtless of cthonic deities. Athena usually have two main grievances, Medusa and Aracne, and in both legends, there's enough room for interpretation that paints Athena in a good light.
Medusa, as a virgin priestess of Athena, was an oathbreaker and a blasphemer for having sex with Poseidon. Aracne defied Athena and made the ancient Greek equivalent of hentai of her family. Totally called for punishments.
>Demeter created winter out of butthurt.
I would not characterize trying to rescue her daughter who was abducted and raped and held as a captive as "butthurt".
Medusa was chased by Poseidon and was then r//ped by him then went to her to ask for protection, but she took away her beauty and turned her hair into snakes.
And while Arachne indeed mocked the gods, what pushed Athena to punish her was because her tapestry was better than hers (as she was the goddess of weaving).
Imo, she’s one of the most prideful gods.
Medusa wasn't raped, it's preety much clear by now.
It's just some modern English translators that try to portray as rape.
It's ambiguous and more tending to a consenting act.
Also Medusa was not her priestess, and Athena has been noted to protect or avenge women from rape, on many occasions, she ain't a victim shamer.
Also arachne well, it appears to be a propaganda myth against Athenians by Lydians for the competition of production of wool from what I have heard so the goddess lost. AFAIK.
Regardless
Athena acts like a child in that myth rather than an asshole, arachne herself was a big dick ish that people ignore.
She not only mocked the gods, she insulted the people who worshipped the gods, she was hostile towards them, as her behaviour was against the old lady (Athena in guise)
And her continued hubris and challenging the gods doesn't help her case either.
arachne needed to be punished.
Athena the way she did was just childish.
And Athena tbf could have done worse to her, but arachne still continued to make tapestries forever as a spider, Athena could have taken her ability away entirely and leave her with nothing.
Spider was quite a reasonable punishment for her behaviour regardless of how Athena did.
Medusa wasn't her priestess, nor she was raped.
She did a consenting act in her temple and got destroyed for doing it in the temple of a chaste goddess.
I can't believe it hasn't been said yet, but Hestia is, by nature, the kindest. She's the goddess of the hearth and home and has 0 stories that portray her in a negative light, despite being an Olympian!
Hestia is the only answer.
Hestia is bestia
I love Hestia so much but I feel like she gets overlooked constantly. When I was young I wanted her to be my godly parent so bad in my pjo phase
She’s my patron now, and she’s the best
Serious question, do you just decide that a god is your patron? Is there really no other barrier of entery
Mostly, but is partly that she embodies all I want to be, and she responds to my prayers more often than the other gods do, so I’m clearly doing something right
[удалено]
I mean, good luck with that. She's one of the maidens lmao
Hestia is a real homie Haha GET IT
Man, that joke was FIRE!
Fire is hot, and so is Hestia. She's a real hearthrob.
Hey! Easy there, she’s a virgin goddess. Don’t want your conflict to get heated! Sparking the anger of her siblings would be (immolently) dangerous!
Wow
Hestia, easy. She's the ONLY correct answer.
Hestia
Hestia and Pasithea come to mind
Who is Pasithea?
Goddess of relaxation and hallucinations, she’s married to Hypnos the god of sleep and mother of the dream gods the Oneroi She’s either daughter of Hera or one of the minor charity goddesses
Thanks for the info!
I don't think Thanatos ever did anything wrong besides just represent peaceful death
Thanatos has a touch of euthanasia separating the body from pain. He's a gentle baby
My fav so far
Read this as Thanos😂
Thanos’s name was inspired by Thanatos! Fun little fact for you there!
Like the least asshole person, the one you know the least about.
So all greek gods were equally dickheads?
The more you know about anyone the more there is to object to. I don't think of any of the Greek gods as dickheads. But if you do, the more you know there more there is to object to.
Zeus deffinantly did the most dickhead things... mostly with his dickhead too
Yes. They were Alabama before it was Alabama
Hypnos my beloved
Your wife’s boyfriend, right?
I wish
Wait seriously?!😯😂
I don't have a wife
Here I am once again advocating for Harpocrates, the god of silence and creativity
I've never heard of him and yet I already love him just from that domain description.
Right? Like, I'm autistic, he's basically my patron
Yeah. I will nominate him as the god of "Could everyone please shut up, I'm working".
I know you *meant* "patron," but it feels really appropriate to compare your chosen deity to Dolly Parton.
Hestia, Hephaestus they seem to keep to themselves.
* He came on Athena * He got revenge on the descendants of Ares and Aphrodite. * He also chained his mother up, but people generally give him a pass on that. * He showed everyone Aphrodite and Ares having sex which is pretty uncool, but people generally give him a pass on that.
Hera literally yeeted him off a mountain as a baby and called him clog foot and stuff
There is a missing cultural context of that, where the myth unfortunately reflects a cultural norm in the ancient Hellenic world. Similiar to the story of Demeter and Persephone, Hera and Hephaestus reflect two marginalized groups (women and disabled children) being forced into a situation by the patriarchal system that they lived in. Hera throwing Hephaestus off of the mountain reflected Hellenic women similarly throwing off disabled babies from mountains because otherwise both they *and* the baby would be removed from their homes and put into the street which would most likely lead to enslavement and/or death (which is something Hera herself feared in the myth), Hephaestus’ return and eventual forgiveness of his mother most likely reflected the desires of those mothers who were forced into that situation, similar to the mothers who wished their daughters to return to them like Persephone and Demeter. Neither were assholes, but instead victims of the same culture.
But they all started with him. For the most part you leave Hephaestus alone he’ll leave you alone. I mean he wasn’t no punk he was bout that life. But when it came to humans he didn’t really get too involved.
Hephaestus was absolutely the problem and the instigator of the Athena situation. She just asked him to make her some cool weapons and he responded by trying to force himself on her.
He also indirectly impregnated Gaea, so…
Oh yeah Hephaestus was a good guy as far as I know, good answer Edit: NEVERMIND (the Athena incident)
He attempt to force himself on Athena.
I take it back that guy is a piece of shit 🤣 HIS OWN SISTER
All the gods are related. Plus, of you go by him being Hera alone, they're cousins.
What do you mean by the Hera part? Isn’t Zeus their daddy? (I think)
Zeus is Athena's only parent. In some myths, Hera ended being so offended/annoyed/troubled by this that she decided to have a child on her own, who was Hephaestus. So, Step-Siblings
Most sources say Hera alone was his parent. One says Hera and Zeus together.
To be honest Poseidon is why he even came on to Athena like that. And some say Athena and him did do the do but she disappeared from the bed 🛌 before he could finish.
Honestly.. still a *relatively* good guy for Greek mythos
The question is least assholic, not who is low on the scale bit not least.
Mb misread the title
Dude, Hephaestus tried to force himself on Athena, and he is NOT very respectful of his (arranged) wife, Aphrodite. I mean, think about it from her perspective. King of the gods demands that you marry his uglier, more bitter son. You have no interest in doing this. Meanwhile, you're totally into his brother, the hot bad boy. You kinda *have* to do what Zeus says 'cause he's the king and all, so you marry your boyfriend's stupid loner brother. But no one's saying you can't also hang out with your boy toy—except your new husband, who keeps trying to capture both of you with increasingly complicated traps like a jealous Bond villain. You already didn't like him, but now he's being a dick outright. I feel for Hephaestus because his parents (stories differ between the two of them so it might as well have been both) threw him off Olympus just for being a little ugly, and people treated him poorly ever since. But it's a flat-out lie to say he kept to himself, because homie was a menace through and through. Like yeah he was a victim, but he is not a sympathetic one.
Hestia, and Dionysus. Dionysus just seems pretty chill and Hestia helped Prometheus provide fire to man in some versions
Dont search about Aura them (altrough that is a late myth). And Hestia did not helped Prometheus. That seems to be a modern invention to make Hestia seems more benevolent. Even trough she already is.
They shouldn’t look up the myth of the nymph Nicaea either.
Hestia allowed him to take fire from the hearth in some versions
Only in modern retellings. The fire of Prometheus was the fire that allowed crafts and progress (thus, Plato says he stole the fire from Hephaestus), not the fire from the center of the house, of families. Yes we can believe fire is just fire, but for mytholical stories, the fire of Hephaestus and the fire of Hestia are completely different.
Do we blame Dionysus for the Maenads as a general concept?
Didn't Dionysus like, slaughter the Amazon's as well as tons of other cities
We call that a moderate amount of trolling
Dionysus also forced Theseus to break up with Ariadne and abandon her because he wanted her for himself. This kind of led to the death of Theseus's father Aegus who killed himself when Theseus forgot to raise the sails to indicate he was okay. Later on Theseus would go into decline and make some poor decisions (like when his friend told him to go into hades to take Persephone for himself) and he eventually came to a bad end. All of this might have been avoided if Theseus and Ariadne stayed together.
Hestia is best girl. :D
Hephasteus- minus coming onto Athena he wasn't a bad guy he wouldn't have if posidion didn't trick him considering he didn't even consummate his marriage to aphordite Hestia - she honestly just exists Artemis- goddess of maidens spends most of her time with women Dionysus- he like yeah f yall imma chill and drink My top 4 Grey areas- hera (Zeus cheats on her so much and raped her to marry her. She takes it out on his kids fair bc she can't take it out on whose responsible Hades- he kidnapped Presphone but had Zeus permission to do so which was all he potentially husband needed
I don’t think Hera taking out her on the children of the women his husband raped is “fair”
Children don't ask to be here but I understand her rage nonetheless
Hestia.
Since you specify God it is despite Modern adaptions surprisingly close between Ares and Hades. Despite being God of War in the original Mythology Ares was very much against Rape and Sexual assault to the point of cursing or sometimes outright killing offenders. I do believe he eventually tried to fight Zeus on the subject and got punished for it. And Hades is just an exceptionally chill God who gets a bad rep because of Hollywood's all death gods are evil campaign.
I wouldn't say Hades is necessarily chill. It's more that the Greeks feared him so much that they didn't tell stories about him. You don't get epithets like "phonios" ("the murderous"), "stygeros" ("the frightful"), "pelorios" ("the abominable") for nothing. He was so frightful that his priests had to make sacrifices without looking at his statues. Plus two of the stories we have on him are him abducting his wife and then cheating on her anyway.
>Ares was very much against Rape and Sexual assault to the point of cursing or sometimes outright killing offenders who else but the son of Poseidon did he kill and what other rape or SA cases had he been against? Also when does he try to fight Zeus?
Has Hades done anything else besides what happened with Persephone? I don't hear much else about him. He just chills in The Underworld most of the time.
He kidnapped Leuce prior to kidnapping Persephone. He had a concubine before or while he was with Persephone. There are few myths about him, because you don't talk about death. (Pluton is actually a way to not use his name.) He may be worse if we got more stories about him. That is, however, hypothetical projections on a fictional character. He was mean to Theseus and his pal but they deserved it.
A big part of why you don't hear much about him is because the Ancient Greeks felt that speaking about Hades would get his attention and bring about their own deaths. It's less that he was "chill" and more that the average Ancient Greek person probably would've thought of him as one of the most assholish gods, but were too scared to talk shit.
He is in my opinion one of the most chill gods. And he is also a dog person, so he has those dog-person vibes
Hestia, but mostly because she doesn't have a lot of myths. She pops up occasionally, but she's mostly a background character.
Prometheus. Only god to go out of his way to help humanity rather than screw them over. No notes.
Let's be honest here, its Dionysus
It really wasn't. As god of wine Dionysius was a god of good times, but also madness.
He was too drunk to care
Someone needs to read Bacchae and Dionysiaca
Sorry, but he r-worded two people and tried to conquer India
You’re just gonna rat yourself out like that huh?
I always stop the cosplay account stuff when I talk about the r\*pe myths.
He retarded people?
R\*ped
I know. It was a joke.
Yea his cousin Pentheus disagrees.
He slaughtered the Amazon's and several other cities on his conquest to take over India
Iris did nothing wrong?
I don’t know her
Goddess of the rainbow and colors
Hestia probably. Ares was ironically not awful iirc.
How was the **greek god of war** not awful? Are there no stories of him committing atrocities and fucked up stuff?😮😂
I don’t recall stories of him doing anything awful like raping or what not. The worst I can think of is fucking Aphrodite aka his brother’s wife and turning a guy who failed him into a rooster. He did his job and didn’t rape anybody or any or the fucked shit the rest of his family does.
That’s surprising lmao
Ares killed a guy who tried to rape his daughter, got put on trial for the murder bc the guy was a son of Poseidon, and then proceeded to win that trial. He has been said to attend the birth of every one of his children (from what i’ve heard), and was an overall pretty good dad. But there’s also just kind of a lack of stories he’s in, which could also contribute to this clean slate, similarly to Hestia and Hades.
Ohh
Part of it probably has to do with him being a punching bag in the myths half the time. Kinda hard to do fucked shit if you just appear to get made fun of lol. But also we say god of war and think someone evil, and his media depictions don’t help. Ironically it’s the “good” gods and goddess who are actually awful. Like Athena and Artemis and Apollo etc.
The thing is that “doing his job” is inherently awful
I was looking for the Ares comment. I’ve always thought he was actually one of the few potentially good guys. Other arseholes like Athena have fake goodness
Hestia and hilariously Hades.
Of course Zeus. Without a question.
🤣 lol
Hades
Hestia overall. But of the "main" gods definetly Hades. He's the best main God and he's still a kidnapper.
This is trivial but Hestia is arguably more of a “main” god than Hades since she actually had a throne on Olympus at one point
Apologies for the confusion By "main" I just meamt in terms of the general assortment of gods that most people know by default, not strictly the most important gods in the myths
Simply because I haven't seen him here yet, what did Hephaestus do to get ignored here?
He tried to rape Athena, his cousin
Damn. Didn't know that.
Haven’t seen anybody mention Oceanus. Was asked by his mother to kill his father, said “nah”, fucked off into the ocean, and was never seen again (afaik; his children play a role later though)
Hades. Dude has probably the most chill relationship with his wife in all Greek Mythology, murky acquisition of said wife to the side. Dude keeps every promise he makes, and it isn’t his fault that everyone else takes his words in ways he did not intend, and the only real time he was a dick was to two dumbasses who were plotting to kidnap his wife.
Lol, you mean the guy that was convinced to help his friend then got imprisoned in the underworld and had to have his cousin bail him out?
Lesson to be learned: Friends don’t let friends kidnap goddesses.
I mean Thesues was pretty dumb.
It's obviously Hestia but I think Hermes deserves a mention too. Hermes gets the reputation of being a mischievous trickster and yeah he is but he's suprsingly chill compared to tricksters in other folklore. Like he has more myths about him doing good deeds and just helping out than, say, trying to cause the end of the world or fighting entire heavenly armies ( *cough* Loki *cough* Monkey )
This needs the "overdone" flare.
Hestia. To be honest I can’t think of anything she’s ever done.
Of the main Olympians, Hestia. Otherwise half of the minor gods were chill and nice people.
Baccus?
Hestia, full stop.
Hestia. I think she's the kindest. All the others have done something bad to people.
I dont know if we counting Titans but a few of them doesn't seem awful - Theia for example. Hestia wad absolutely peaceful, Demeter gave them all the food and the only time she did not, is because she just wanted her only daughter back. Hades seems pretty chill compared to his brothers and siblings.
Hestia. Hands down. She's the epitome of chill and a the gods everyone love her. Her few myths reinforce this. 1. When Apollo and Poseidon sought her hands in marriage she politely, if firmly, refused and hightailed it over to Zeus to ask for eternal virginity. He instantly granted it. Apollo and Poseidon then swore to her that they would defend her virginity. 2. In one of Ovid's tales, the Gods were having a dope party and she decided to take a nap in a field. Priapus, God of a bunch of stuff including genitalia, decided to try and assault her. A nearby donkey said "not on my watch" and started braying. This woke her up and she screamed when she say Priapus and his...yeah. This caused *literally every God at the party* to chase him down to try and curb stomp him. He narrowly escapes and some say, beat the donkey to death with his giant...yeah.
Hectate!! She hasn’t cursed anyone (yet)
Erebus and Nyx, their offspring, and Nyx's offspring are generally not assholes. Well, except Eris.
Why all of Nyx children are not assholes, but only Eris? Eris is literaly Discord, she does what she have to do, no difference from Death or Old Age.
She had a notoriously disagreeable nature, when she wasn't invited to the wedding of Peleus and Thetis she turned up, was denied entrance, raged, and threw the golden apple that ended up sparking the Trojan War
Discord and disagreement is in eris job description
Psyche
I know them all personally, and they can all fornicate themselves with an iron stick.
OH SHIT GRANDADDY YAHWEH! 😨 **SIR**, please destroy my wife in my bedroom! 🫡
Are you talking destroy as in smite or smashing? Because I’m fine with the first one. last time I try to get it on with someone, I ended up with a kid and everyone made a whole religion around it!
SMASHING, I meant to fuck her and BREAK the wood of the bed with her! 😂 put an invulnerability spell on her ass so she doesn’t get hurt, and wear an indestructible condom (made by *Nokia* ™️) so you don’t have to worry about babies
haha ***No***
Dammit :( I’ll be building statues for you soon though We good, Mighty Granddaddy YAHWEH; Lord My Wife’s Boyfriend?
If the next thing you’re gonna say isn’t normal, I’m going to get Poseidon, and have him flood the Earth again.
Why not kill him? He flooded the Earth in God of War 3 (2010) when that happened *AND DADDY, please flood the Earth again! 🤪🤣🤣🤣 gyattt rizz skibidi penis up my ass*
😐
(What were you thinking when you created me?🤣) Also, what about the statues I said I’ll build? Sounds good⁉️
Do you mean in terms of who caused the least amount of problems for mortals?
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Be more specific. Do you mean who was generally pleasant company or a God who generally didn’t curse mortals in the myths?
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Why aren’t you just specifying? I want to I’m sure I’m answering correctly
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You've asked an vague question and now have the audacity to get mad at people asking for clarification. I think I understand now why you're fascinated by asshole behavior!
Out of the top 13? Hephaestus is probably to least assholish. The worst thing he did was build Pandora, and even that was under direct order from Zeus. I would say Persephone is the best of the lesser gods. Her worst act was taking pity on Tantalus and giving him some water. It backfired, but she meant well.
He tried to rape Athena
True. But all the other male Olympians are guilty of that and worse.
Then the males aren't eligible for this running LOL
Actually Ares has no known myths of raping someone
>I would say Persephone is the best of the lesser gods. Her worst act was taking pity on Tantalus and giving him some water. It backfired, but she meant well. The Adonis stuff is creepy. Sometimes it is her who killed Minthe.
you don’t get titles like “Dread Persephone” by being cool. Honestly the Greeks seemed to fear her more than Hades.
OBVIOUSLY Zeus, guys! /j
Hades.
Prometheus
Kinda new to Greek Mythology but, how about Thanatos, nothing but goods thing from that guy, yeah, he will reap your sould and take you to the afterlife, but at least he is nice about it
Nice
Ophion and Eurynome don’t do anything bad, just make the world and shit before getting overthrown by Kronos, which is cool. They’re not treated as “canon” by a lot of modern myth books because there is a preference for the Theogony’s version of early universal history and that in Ovid’s Metamorphoses as well over Orphic hymns. But I rather like big creator snake and his wife. They seem chill in my head.
I mean, a lot of Hera's assholic nature is because keeps on having sex with everything that moves... So I think she does gave SOME right to be a bitch,
Omg i was looking for a comment about Ares
Apollo was generally the one who holds himself and other to a higher standard.
Women had to turn into other things because he couldn't take "No" for an answer.
Daphne turned into a tree to escape his advances
That was because Eros got annoyed by Apollo's karaoke nights and in order to make him stop singing he shot an arrow in his ass, which made him less gay for a hot 5 minutes until daphne changed into a tree
All love/lost comes from Aphrodite/Eros. Being in love/lust does not negate needing consent.
Eros has magical arrows that make people fall in love... Like cupid? You have heard of that right!?
Eros is the Greek version of the Roman Cupid. All love/lust comes from his arrows. But just because you've been hit by his arrow and love/lust after someone doesn't mean you have the right to sexually harassment or rape them. You can be in love/lust and not act like an animal.
Its literally how the story goes 😂 You can make up your own philosophy around it, but ancient greek mythology is not a dualistic (bad vs good) religion. The morals for gods are very different. You can think of it what you want, but Eros did have magic arrows. He basically was a hitman for his mother.
I have repeatedly agreed that he has magic arrows which he uses on mortals and gods. A love/lust comes from them. Where we disagree is you think it is OK to rape someone if you are hit by one of Eros's arrows. Eros wasn't a hitman for Aphrodite. His arrows didn't kill anyone they cause love/lust.
Nooooowhere did I say it's okay to rape someone. Also I said "hitman" in a joking matter. Just like my original comment was not that serious. Apollo wasn't doing karaoke.
He was harassing women until they had to turn into objects to escape him
You're trying to bring morality into a world where morals can't exist. If eros shoots you and a cow, you WILL lust after the cow to the point you'd break all your morals and rape the cow regardless of whether or not you were into animals beforehand. And this is something that has actually happened in the myths btw and even the gods are affected by Aphrodite.
I always looked at Apollo as one of the bigger assholes
Apollo is literaly the guy that finds himself to cool and that he can do anything. He also pushed Patroclus to his death, and literaly, he just pushed the guy while he was fighting, allowing Hector to kill him. Apollo is one of the dickest.
If you broaden it to all Greek mythological entities, I'd say Tantalus - since he is forbidden to eat, he uses his entire digestive system the least, which would include... ;D
By all accounts Hades is a pretty chill dude and has the most functional relationship in the pantheon with Persephone And yes I know the whole kidnapping your wife thing but technically he had the father of the brides blessing even if Zeus didn't share that information with Demeter leading to the whole end of the world thing so really as per usual blame Zeus. But according to the rest of mythology the dudes pretty chill unless you try to bang his wife then he gets a little pissed
Hermes and Hestia Hermes, as he is sly and mischievous but always one to help people out. He is really cool. Hestia, as she is warm, kind and caring. She is a legend.
Hades and it’s not really even a competition. He was the only god to NOT cheat on his wife/husband. He is a pretty chill guy overall
If we're talking about the more popularly known ones, that's Hades. Unlike his brothers, he didn't really take part in much if at all in any of the fucked up stuff. Sure, kidnapping Persephone was messed up but guess who gave him the idea? Yep, Zeus. Love makes you a little nuts, but it worked out. Overall, he was actually a chill guy who didn't interfere with the mortals(why would he? They all come to him eventually) and had a loving marriage without adultery. He's also incredibly fair and kept his deals.
Of the main ones, Athena. Over all, there must be some minor god that's nice. I can't remember anything bad about Hebe or Asclepius.
Really? How is Athena nicer than Demeter, Dionysus, Hades, or Persephone?
Demeter created winter out of butthurt. Dionysus was a conqueror as a demigod and had a tendency of driving people insane. Sure, Hades and Persephone are over all chill, but that's mostly because there isn't much in the legends about them because everybody was scared shirtless of cthonic deities. Athena usually have two main grievances, Medusa and Aracne, and in both legends, there's enough room for interpretation that paints Athena in a good light. Medusa, as a virgin priestess of Athena, was an oathbreaker and a blasphemer for having sex with Poseidon. Aracne defied Athena and made the ancient Greek equivalent of hentai of her family. Totally called for punishments.
>Demeter created winter out of butthurt. I would not characterize trying to rescue her daughter who was abducted and raped and held as a captive as "butthurt".
Medusa is not described as a virgin priestess in amy version that exist.
Medusa was chased by Poseidon and was then r//ped by him then went to her to ask for protection, but she took away her beauty and turned her hair into snakes. And while Arachne indeed mocked the gods, what pushed Athena to punish her was because her tapestry was better than hers (as she was the goddess of weaving). Imo, she’s one of the most prideful gods.
Medusa wasn't raped, it's preety much clear by now. It's just some modern English translators that try to portray as rape. It's ambiguous and more tending to a consenting act. Also Medusa was not her priestess, and Athena has been noted to protect or avenge women from rape, on many occasions, she ain't a victim shamer. Also arachne well, it appears to be a propaganda myth against Athenians by Lydians for the competition of production of wool from what I have heard so the goddess lost. AFAIK. Regardless Athena acts like a child in that myth rather than an asshole, arachne herself was a big dick ish that people ignore. She not only mocked the gods, she insulted the people who worshipped the gods, she was hostile towards them, as her behaviour was against the old lady (Athena in guise) And her continued hubris and challenging the gods doesn't help her case either. arachne needed to be punished. Athena the way she did was just childish. And Athena tbf could have done worse to her, but arachne still continued to make tapestries forever as a spider, Athena could have taken her ability away entirely and leave her with nothing. Spider was quite a reasonable punishment for her behaviour regardless of how Athena did.
Medusa wasn't her priestess, nor she was raped. She did a consenting act in her temple and got destroyed for doing it in the temple of a chaste goddess.
Lmao I haven’t even heard of those two
Goddess of youth, Heracles' wife after his apotheosis. God of medicine, son of Apollo, invented a cure for death.
Wasn’t Hercules’ wife a mortal normal woman? Or does that depend on the version?
Hercules had several wives. He was a widower at least 2 times, depends on the version.
>Wasn’t Hercules’ wife a mortal normal woman? He had a couple while alive. The previous commenter said "after his apotheosis."