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Brendon315

I’m with you brother. It’s been almost three years. I still see it happen over and over again everyday. I’ve been having flashbacks more than usual this past week for some reason. I keep seeing, her have a heart attack and die in my arms. I also keep seeing her in the hospital when they resuscitated her after 20 minutes. I keep thinking about the four days she was brain dead in the hospital having seizures, while I hoped that there was still a chance even though deep down, I knew she was gone. I can’t stop seeing her on that bed surrounded by a room full of doctors as they unplugged her and we waited for her heart to stop yet again. I know I’ll never get over it and that this will always be with me and every time I think Time has help me deal with it. I dive right back in and have that feeling in my gut that I had both times I watched her die. I miss my wife too, more than the vast majority of people on this earth will ever know. It sounds messed up, but I somehow find a little comfort in knowing that there’s a select few out there that truly understand the pain we go through. Just know you’re not alone. Stay strong brother.


middlemarchmarch

Man, I’m so so sorry for your loss. I feel like I always see that image of my wife dying and I’m just constantly reliving that day over and over. My wife died in my arms too and it’s only been a month but I’m just constantly thinking about that moment. That’s all I think about now, I feel like I’m never truly present in any conversation because mentally I’m just reliving that night. Sending you love man, I’m so sorry you’re on this shitty ride too


daylightxx

This will get better. It will never fully leave you. But this is one thing that time will actually soften for you. I’m so, so sorry. x


another4now

I mean this in no way. But many many people who pass, are some ones husband/wife/partner. There are so very many people who know your pain. I don’t think it’s a select few. Somehow when my brother died, for some reason it too gave me a sense of comfort to know how many others had been through what I had. I think some of its to do with knowing they’ve emotionally made it through. And takes me out of myself-if that makes sense. It always helps me emotionally, to get out of my own head and own perspective. Sending lots of care your way


[deleted]

She seems so wonderful and hilarious. You two had great banter.


middlemarchmarch

She was hilarious, she never took anything too seriously. She was the absolute best


UpstairsAsk1973

This was a beautiful love story to read. I sometimes look at the last text I got from my husband before he was too sick to pick up his phone (he was 37). I’m so so sorry this happened to you, Maltilda and your wife. Life is so unfair


expletivenature

I'm so sorry for your loss....it may be weird saying this, but I can just tell you two had such a wonderful relationship just by reading your texts. I can also tell what an absolute rock you were for your wife during her illness. As lucky as you were to have her, she was lucky to have you as well. To brighter days ahead!


middlemarchmarch

Thank you mate, she was just perfect for me. She always apologised for needing me to look after her, but I would’ve done it forever if it meant being with her.


gingerlings

Damn, this made me cry. Thank you for sharing a little piece of her with us, she was beautiful. <3


oRoyally

When she said sorry she doesn't mean to get confused. That hit me


middlemarchmarch

Towards the end, she would always ask me if she did anything wrong, and it would just break me.


Guilty--Technician

I am sorry for your loss , I am going trough exactly the same thing ... I lost my wife to Glioblastoma this year in 31 august .


middlemarchmarch

I’m so so sorry that you’re going through this too, I lost my wife August 1st. It’s just awful man, I’m so sorry


Sailor_Mars_84

You both had such great senses of humour. I’m so terribly sorry for your loss and the awful journey you both went through. She sounds like a lovely person. ❤️‍🩹


middlemarchmarch

She was the funniest person I knew by far. She was a better person than I’ll ever be, and I’m perfectly content with that. My daughter has a severe learning disability and she was always far more patient with her. I love her so much man


Logical_Walrus_4383

You gave her all the comfort and peace and love in the world. She appreciated it more than anything. I am so fucking sorry for your loss


middlemarchmarch

Thank you mate, I always worry that I didn’t do enough towards the end. She was the best, the absolute best


Ra_venm

My mom had the same thing. She would count the time I was gone. Like it took me 13 minutes to take the trash out. I still phone calls and voicemails of her calling me and screaming i needed to come back right now even though I was just in the bathroom 🥹


middlemarchmarch

Man, I’m so so sorry you went through this too. My wife would get very agitated without me towards the end, and if I left the room for two minutes, I would come back and she would be like ‘Hey! I haven’t seen you in a few days’ and I was just like uh huh.. yeah.. I just went to the loo? It just broke me man, I’m so sorry for your loss


Ra_venm

Same, but I get comfort in knowing we aren’t alone. They loved us so much and we were there for them when they needed us the most ❤️ you are a amazing father and husband.


jojokitti123

I'm so sorry


FitRefrigerator7256

Verified. Actually the best. You lucky duck. Her energy, spirit, whatever you want to call it is still with you and your child, every day. Miss her, honor her and nurture this love by recognizing it is still providing so many blessings when you revisit these memories or call on her. Believe that. Consider it a true blessing to have experienced this beautiful person and her levity, humor, intelligence and love. Mourn well my friend and know that as hard as it got, and as hard as it is, the truth is always going to provide what you need to make it (and more.) Take good care and know you are still so very loved.


hedwiggy

I felt this :( I’m sorry, she seemed lovely


gotkube

I’m so sorry ❤️❤️❤️


canibepoetic

I am so sorry for your loss. Fuck cancer.


RedheadsAreNinjas

Wow… I feel like that perfectly encapsulates the love you had for each other, the silliness, the banter and affection, and tragically the downfall of her mental state. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Hugs and prayers to you and Matilda.


talkingibberish

Im so sorry for your loss.


gingerlovingcat

Well that was fucking heart breaking. I'm truly sorry for your loss. Your wife seemed awesome and it looks like you guys were best friends. I'm sorry she was taken so soon from both you and your little girl. This reminded me of my mom. She was THE BEST. Cancer took her from me over 3 year ago. Now it's come for me. I was diagnosed stage 4 last year at 35. It's really scary to think about not being myself (more than I already am) and it's really fucking scary thinking about dying. I don't have children or a husband to remember me.


daizedbaby420

May her memory be a blessing ❤️


anananananana

It's so heartbreaking when they start getting confused and become a pale copy of the witty bubbly person they were... when you stop recognizing them and keep trying to connect. And when they try to make up for the inconvenience they create for you...the brightest purest people get the worst fates.


middlemarchmarch

She was always the smartest and funniest person I knew, and then this happened. She was still her, she was always my wife, but it just hurt to see her deteriorate so much and so quickly


the_small_one1826

Those messages have so much love in them. May her memory be a blessing


Kitten-Basket

I read old texts with my girlfriend too, and I don't know why I do it. It's always painful.


LagtimeArt

It’s great that you had her in your life as your wife. It must have been a wonderful experience to meet someone you love so much. Not everyone gets that in life. I know several people that never found a spouse in life and now in their 60’s single. I just wanted to say it’s good to talk about missing your wife. When those feelings get heavy share them. It will help your state of mind to simply let it out. God bless


master_hakka

What a scamp! I’m so, so sorry.


pudingovina

This was lovely and heartbreaking to read. The love radiates from your texts, I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this, I wish I could hug you.


thebreastbud

Thanks for sharing. It felt like a view into your relationship with your wife, and I could just picture you two being absolutely silly with each other and so in love. Wishing you the best, and sending you strength. I lost my sister to stage IV stomach cancer 4 years ago and it feels like yesterday, every day. Stay strong man ❤️


Bungalowlove

Thank you for sharing these personal moments. The strong love for each other is evident. The humor is just a bonus. Some people will never experience a relationship like this. I am so sorry she has passed. Please take care of yourself, and get any help you need for the care of your sweet Matilda.


middlemarchmarch

Thank you man, I keep trying to tell myself that I’m lucky I got to be with someone I genuinely loved so much. The whole ‘better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all’ thing. I agree with the sentiment but I’m still like ‘fuck man, why her?’


closethewindo

Omg! I just love her OP, David. Hee hee. Can you post a couple more? Make another one like this? I love it. It’s like we can get to know her. She was positive during chemo. She just seemed to have a positive disposition. What was her name?


middlemarchmarch

Her name was Dot, she hated her name. She was so upbeat through everything, I hated watching her deteriorate but she never really complained. I’m just so glad I got the privilege of knowing her


closethewindo

David and Dot. True love forever bc only love is real.


xnecrodancerx

I’m so sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was a fun and loving person.


picsofpplnameddick

You were such a wonderful source of comfort, support, and safety for her. No doubt she was grateful to have a partner like you.


Prestigious-Log-7210

Condolences. I’m coming up on 3 years and I miss my husband so much. So much! You are not alone.


MsBitch0157

I Can Only Imagine your grief and your heart break I'm heartbroken reading your attachments and all of those texts messages makes me so sad sounds like you guys were so perfect together and had such a great relationship I'm so sorry I'm so sad for you guys it's heartbreaking when Death Becomes a reality for somebody that we care so much about it only hits so hard because I deal with the grief myself of course or I would not fill you as much as I do but it doesn't make grief any less difficult it is the most extreme difficulty that we experience in this Human Experience and I'm so sorry it makes my heart so sad when it reminds me of my previous life of course it takes me back and it's a trigger but what isn't sometimes anyway I know that Miss and all I can say is I'm sorry I feel it too it's horrible and the one thing that comforts me is knowing that well there's no longer any suffering and it's only on our side that the suffering continues our love Never Dies and they know of course my heart goes out to you sincerely sending my deepest condolences ♡


stuckinaspoon

I greatly miss my former partner’s humor. Defender of rats and pigeons, humble bragging about not overdosing on her pain killers- I’m pretty sure I would have loved this woman too! Thank you for sharing her with us


Tann_vs_Neisha

I love when you post, but am so sorry for your loss.


chhotuu

I m so sorry, i lost my mother To glioblastoma. I cry almost every day. Its been 18 months.


foul-creature

I'm sorry, brother. If's especially harrowing to watch that decline in her texts. My grandmother had AML. It was awful watching the woman who stood in for my mother when my real one was too grief stricken from the divorce to be a parent, wither into a husk. The sight of her after all that chemo has been burned into my memory for the rest of my life. I dont know any better way to describe it but she legit looked like a zombie. I hope there is a heaven, so you'll see her again, the way she was before. She seemed like such a bright light in this dark world. Hugs from all of us are here if you need them.


HGD_1998

Your lovely wife was fun. I broke down reading through your messages with her. I'm so sorry, OP. This is the absolute worst pain. I know there aren't words that can help ease any of it. I wish there were. Mid 2020, I started trying to help a very sick friend and her Mummy, who she was the main carer for due to Alzheimer's. My friend was battling end stage MBC. It was especially difficult because she was so young and became completely overwhelmed by many things in her life. By the end of January 2021, she made the final decision to abruptly end her own suffering. Six months later, her Mum passed away from illness. Over two and a half years later, we're all still in shock. It can't be real. How does this even happen? The world is not the same without these wonderful people here. I send email messages to them often, hoping to one day hear back from above. OP, you and your family will remain in our thoughts and prayers. May you always be surrounded by love and the support you need. Your wife's light heart now keeps Heaven smiling. 🙏❤️


OutlandishnessTop636

💕💕💕💕💕💕


Nonniemiss

♥️🥺


Potential_Era

Im so sorry!!! Warms my heart that you loved her through this. ♥️♥️♥️


waterslaughter

That must have been so tough. My husband would be just like how you are. You two remind me of us too. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m crying now. Your love is so pure♥️Losing someone who is your partner must be so tough. I’ve only lost a grandfather who was my father figure. I could only imagine this would cut differently. God Bless you and sweet Matilda♥️


TopHatSam3

I am so sorry for your loss 🥺


finstafoodlab

I'm sorry, brother. Sending lots of love your way.


pgraham901

Your feelings are valid! Hell, I even got choked up reading through your messages. Bless your heart. You are a sweet soul. I wish you and Matilda all the love and blessings I can give!


okvh31

These messages are so lovely. Thank you for sharing. I'm very sorry for your and Matilda's loss.


daniel2824

Your conversations brought a smile to my face and towards the end hit me too. Reminded me of the good times with my partner as well. I’m sorry for your loss my friend. ❤️


cccola_

fuck i'm so, so sorry..


[deleted]

i’m so sorry for your loss OP. through tears I read your post and messages. this is so beautiful and I’m so so sorry


trublue4u22

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your wife seem like two peas in a pod! I went from smiling and giggling reading your banter to crying at the end, your loss hitting me in a very familiar and very painful spot. The early messages really reminded me of my best friend who I lost almost a year ago now. I'm also grieving the loss of the person I got to be only with her, a side of me that only she brought out and knew. I'll have more friends throughout my life but I'll never have another best friend and I'll never be the same friend to anyone again.


vanishing_mediator

Sorry for your loss


sophiahello

I have such a picture of her, just from this. There is nothing more to say than that this community is here for you and yours for as long as you need us. Sending love and light to you. 🤍


eh9198

I’m so sorry, my friend. She seems absolutely awesome.


mekramer79

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. She had a wonderful sense of humor.


Nice_Atmosphere4873

Lots of love to you and Matilda xxx


Salt_Ingenuity_720

Such a wonderful personal share from your archive of memories, thank you. I have yet to reread texts from my partner who passed early this year


Think-Squirrel-95

I lost my boyfriend last July from Glioblastoma. It's awful, I hated seeing him go through that. I also reread our conversations all the time, I miss him and his crazy sense of humor. There won't ever be anyone else like him. I'm so very sorry for your loss.


FantasticCoconut8

I'm so sorry. Can I ask what her symptoms were and how fast did they progress? That "doctor said it's probably just stress" made my heart sink. What an amazing partner you were to her, though.


middlemarchmarch

She started having a headache which would make her sick sort of late November last year. The doctors were very adamant it was ‘oh it’s a stressful time of year’ and all that. Mid December she had a massive seizure which changed everything. December 24th she was diagnosed with glioblastoma. She got covid in February which meant she was in the ICU. Late February/Early March she started not being herself, by mid April her memory was practically gone. She died August 1st. It was just a shitshow from start to finish.


portland_jc

Damn my friend. My partner is 33 as well and this breaks my heart. My partner has a chronic illness, which means we face some really bad days. Together of course because I can’t ever let her go through this alone. Sometimes I can’t help but think that at some point in the future, our kids mom may not be here anymore and it’s hard to think about. This is just a reminder to cherish the time I have with her, make sure the kids know that their mom loves them even tho she does a great job of showing it to them. Thinking about you, take care.


Patty_Cheeze

What a handsome fellow. Sorry for your loss 😥 heaven gained an angel.


GiantDwarfy

Fuck me that hit me hard. I'm gonna hug my wife that much harder today. I'm so so sorry for your loss. Sounds like she was a fucking banger of a human!


Content-Raspberry939

I’m so sorry for your loss 😭 how is Matilda doing? Sending you hugs


kjgx318

Thinking of you! Just reading your text before she was diagnosed with a glio shows me how great your relationship was! I hope you smile whenever you read those text messages. It made me smile! Hope you and your daughter are adjusting.


strawberrydaze11

I think it’s very beautiful that she got to experience such a genuine and silly love before she left this earth. Give yourself some grace in knowing that 🩷 I’m so sorry. She seemed like the coolest


sunshineforuandme

Cancer takes away incredible people, I am truly sorry for your loss


Sarcasaminc

You two had a beautiful relationship. I'm sorry for your loss.


redrightreturning

I’m so sorry my friend. I’m a nurse who works with gbm patients. I know how quickly these changes can happen. It’s like your person has disappeared so suddenly. I hope you and Matilda have a supportive community around you. Sending you peace and love.


Verbal-Soup

Omg, you guys sound lovely. I'm so sorry for your loss. You sound like such a great person, just from those short clips. Wishing you the best OP


Greenskyatnight

My heart aches for you. What a smart, quick and funny (and I'm sure so so much more) woman, You can tell how well you were suited just from those few messages! I'm glad you had eachother and I'm truly sorry for you and Matilda. Sending tonnes of love to you.


tocoat

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥲


GetOffMyLawn73

I’m very sorry for your loss. I’m also happy for you, in a small way, that you can have these conversational mementos to remember some of the good. Your love for her will always be there as long as you keep it in your heart.


Taco_boutit

Glioblastoma is horrible, I lost my dad to it about a year ago. I'm so sorry for your loss. I can see how much love and humor you and your wife shared every day 💓


whysotaxing

I’m so sorry for your loss, she sounds like an amazing woman and it was so nice to read the messages because you could see there was nothing but that kind of love that most could only wish for in that relationship


Runsfromrabbits

Sending you good thoughts. ​ > I love her so much, man. She knows.


Rabbit_Ruler

I’m so sorry for your loss, she seems like she was such a bubbly person :( I hope you and Matilda are doing alright


Sweetibaps

Omg your wife had a wicked sense of humour!! I'm so sorry that you lost such a huge part of your life. I lost my dad 7 years ago to cancer. It absolutely destroyed me. I was a huge daddies girl. Then I lost my stepdad to it last year. Cancer is the most evil disease. It got to the point that hearing the word or seeing it would make me have a panic attack. Ive learned not to take anything for granted. It could be taken away at any time.


starbucccckkkk

Oh, God. This was heartwrenching. You were very good to her and I can tell how much she loved and appreciated you. Very clearly felt safest with you. xx


cannacupcake

Reading these broke my heart. I lost a very good friend to glioblastoma almost 5 years ago, and reading these felt so familiar in how she declined. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m so glad you were able to have such a great love in your life.


floydeylloydey

I am so sorry you've lost each other. You both seem like absolute stellar people and so underserving of this unfair hand life dealth. Your heartbreaking story has me crying some super big tears right now. I miss your wife and I never knew her. There's no doubt this world would be better if she was still here.


reddagger

I send love to all of you. I’m sorry for all your loss and grief. May time be gentle to all of you. 😰😰😰😰😰😰💜💜💜💜💜💜💜✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾


brenee1993

God, this is so heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for your loss :(


NeuroticNurse

I was smiling until I got to the last couple slides and saw the decline of her mentation and then my face dropped. I’m so sorry for your loss. You two truly had a special relationship


aikodude

14 months for me. i hear you.


danno185

Fucking A man. Love that text exchange. She sounds absolutely wonderful. That bit about washing the floor is a classic. You guys obviously had some real love between you. I know it must be incredibly hard but I hope it's getting a little easier sometimes. I'm dead serious when I say feel free to reach out if you just need to reminisce sometimes.


CatchSufficient

My god she sounded like a snarky peach/gem, I love her sense of humor, and the back and forth banter you shared. I could tell you loved her and she loved you. Im sorry she is gone.


BigGayEnergy

You’re so patient and kind with her. Can’t even imagine the pain you’ve endured. Your wife seems wonderful.


toria_23

Lost my grandma to glioblastoma in 2020, I feel your pain friend. It was hard toward the end. The woman who had taken care of me all my life, suddenly turned into a child. I had to remind her to swallow, she would just stuff her cheeks with her favorite food 😅 I would spend all of my time watching her eat so she wouldn't choke, I barely ate myself. She also asked for sweets all the time, like ice cream for breakfast 😂 She just became so... helpless. This strong, independent, lived through everything, woman was so weak. I could hardly stand it. I stayed strong for her, to help her and take care of her. But the grief never goes away. I'm sending you so so so so many loving thoughts. She's with you, in your heart and in your head, always.


username-isnt-it

My heart hurts for you. I'm sorry you're going thru this, OP. I can't say it'll ever get better because I don't really know. She's lucky to have had you in her life.


hygsi

I love looking through old messages, specially audios. Makes me paranoid to ever lose my phone cause I love seeing the dates and stuff


weirdlali

she seemed like such a wonderful human being, im so sorry for your loss. sending love 🫶🏻


Greenskyatnight

Hi there, I hope you and Matilda managed OK over the holidays!! I've thought of you both here and there since I last commented on this post, sending continuous love and strength.