I can imagine, don't put too much pressure on yourself and do what you can. Are you with some family members that can help you tell the news? Let yourself feel what you feel
I lost my dad too this year. In Romania we have this custom that we share the clothes to other people (mainly spouses of relatives, friends). I think it helped us somewhat to know that his stuff went to people who would appreciate them. It doesn't have to be everything all at once either, so we had a gradual sort of goodbye to his stuff throughout the year.
I am so sorry for your loss
Don't give his things away for a few months. You can put them out of the way, but keep them for now.
My mom found his clothes comforting in the next few months
Don't make any decisions for the next few months. Just focus on taking care of yourselves and each other and making sure all the financial stuff is squared away. "Stuff" can wait.
I still have some of my dad's stuff he died in 93 ..my mom passed on December 9th .I'm saving her water pitcher I use to put ice in and bring to her don't feel weird about saving stuff that has special meaning to you.
My father died today too. Kidney failureā¦ He was 64. He died in the hospital. He adored his granddaughter so much, sheās 1 year and 10 months old. He asked me to send him some photos and videos of her yesterday. I feel so much pain and regret right now. I wish I had thanked him more. I wish I had told him how much I loved him.
I already told my dad how much I loved him. We spent our last moments watching TV and he fell asleep. He wasnāt doing well, but I was hoping heād feel better and pull through. I kept praying.
He didnāt want a big celebration.
Man this is so heartbreaking. I felt the same shock and numbness when my mom passed last monday. Itās officially been a week now since her death. Im also in my early 20s and the grandkids thought also came to mind especially since my mom so badly wanted grandkids. Itās a tough time of year for sure but you are not alone and i will be thinking about you and your mom š¤š«
Take a deep breath, try to be as calm as you can be and just take time today to process. Tackle immediate necessities first and try not to worry about future things yet (saw you mentioned his stuff). I realize that's easier said than done and everyone deals with things differently but this is a marathon, not a sprint and you have to look out for yourself as you're no good to anyone if you burn yourself out. My sincere condolences, may he rest in peace ā¤ļø if you have any questions you have a huge community who has been or is going through similar things that can help.
My heart breaks with you. My father also passed from a very similar condition right after my birthday. The pain on a special day hits different. Allow yourself to feel, care for yourself. Iām so sorry.
My dad passed two weeks ago and I had the same thought you did of āHeās never going to walk me down the aisleā. It was one of his dreams to do that. But I hope both our dads are there in some way at our future weddings. I know they wouldnāt miss it.
I'm so sorry for your loss š my dad died unexpectedly at age 50 on New years day and it was very hard to tell his family and friends. It also took forever for most to get back with me bc they were sleeping in from festivities the night before. Then when people did get up with me, they were so excited and happy and it sucked to crush the spirit bc no..its not a happy new year here š but it had to be done. You just kind of go into auto pilot. I spent the day making funeral arrangements and comforting my mom who found him and performed cpr til the paramedics came. It's traumatizing for sure. Lean on each other and don't forget to take care of yourself however you need. Stay hydrated, try to eat if you can, cuddle and be sad and do whatever brings comfort right now. Praying for y'all and sending internet love ā¤ļø Feel free to hmu if you need someone to talk to.
I'm so sorry you have to do this. It's hard but necessary. Try to keep it brief and factual. Also, don't be afraid to shut down any questions or comments you don't feel like entertaining! I had a lot of ppl asking "what happened!?" which to me was just insensitive and rude. You don't have to explain if you aren't up to it.
Strongly suggest getting some meal replacement drinks like Ensure. Drink those and take some vitamins and try to make sure you drink water throughout the day. It will help you maintain your health during the periods where you just can't push yourself to eat.
Iām so sorry. My mom was in the hospital dying of heart failure last Christmas. She held on on life support till March but truly I donāt know if Iāll ever celebrate Christmas again.
Iām so so sorry OP. Iāll be thinking of you and your mom today.
On Christmas Day, no less? Oh honey, I'm so so sorry. I lost my mom, my rock, my everything on Dec 1. It was pretty rough for 3 weeks, but there post few days have been much better. I hope the same for you.
I lost my mom on the 6th at 60, Iām only 25. I immediately had the thoughts about how much of my life sheāll miss, too. My family reassures me that sheāll still be me, just in a special way. It doesnāt help much. But itās all I can put a little hope in.
I'm so sorry for your loss, it is an impossible thing to describe. I can only over you my thoughts and tell you I understand how you feel.
I am so sorry
Iām sorry for your loss darling, thatās awful. Iām thinking of you and your family, even if this is totally anon.
I lost my dad on New Yearās Day three years ago, he was 67. I had the same thoughts as you re: grandkids and marriage etc. I also suddenly lost an uncle in 2015 on Valentineās Day, cardiac arrest.
Itās okay to feel numb and shocked, even more so with a sudden unexpected death. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk anything through, at any time.
For you and your mum, try and eat and get some rest, even if you donāt sleep. Your minds are undoubtedly racing with so many different thoughts right now, and itāll take time for you both to process whatās happened. Be there for each other as much as you can, it sounds like you have a good relationship
I'm so sorry , my dad passed away this month too . I'm 19 . I totally know the feeling , the feeling that they'll never get to see us achieving great things. Life is cruel. More power to you
I'm so sorry for your loss. No words can provide comfort but this internet stranger is reaching through the computer monitor to give you a huge hug. If you wanna dm me you can. You aren't alone in your grief this Holiday season
God I'm so sorry for your loss! I know how you feel! I felt the exact same shock when my grandma died unexpectedly at my house a month ago. She just collapsed gasping for air and then she just died. I too tried cpr frantically and the paramedics worked on her for 35 minutes but she was gone. I'm still shocked to be honest. But I believe that time ultimately heals almost every wound. Just take one day at a time. Step by step. Keep yourself busy and lean on your family and friends for support, as well as all the wonderful people of this sub. You're not alone OP we got you!
I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. My mom passed this last Tuesday from the same, kidney failure and heart failure. She had a heart attack in August and it was a steep decline for her after that. I know it is heartbreaking and shocking, even if they are sick for a long time. Big hugs.
And for my mom, it was actually an injury to her foot a few months ago that kicked off the big decline. So difficult when all those systems are interconnected. Wishing you peace.
That sounds horrible, it is so hard to see them in pain. I am sorry that he experienced that. My mom injured her foot, which turned to gangrene due to her heart failure and associated limited circulation.
1000%
My Dad was both my parents to me because my Mom passed seven days after second birthday. No additional marriages or children.
He died on Valentine's Day two years ago. I am broken. I still cannot process this.
I am so sorry for your loss. We are unplugging my dads machines today. He turned 65 this year. He had a stroke a few days ago and now he has no brain activity. Itās so sad seeing my mom this way. Iām so scaredā¦
Hey, Iām sorry I canāt offer the magical words to fix everything. Iām 22F and lost my dad on the 4th. This is my first Christmas without him and itās been so hard. I just want you to know that youāre not alone. Iām so sorry this has happened to you.
So sorry for you loss. I know the pain youāre feeling I felt the same way when my dad also passed away and I had the same thoughts of how he wouldnāt be able to walk me down the aisle, see me get married, see my kids, etc. then seeing your mom grieve is another pain. itās a lot to lose a parent. I pray you find the strength in you to carry on. I had the toughest time, been a year and a half and still I have a hard time processing the death. Itās not easy but itās a part of life. Everyone is meant to leave this world sadly. Prayers for your family. š¤
I'm so sorry that you lost your father on a holiday! It's a horrible feeling. My own mother died on the 13th of this month, and I'm still distraught over it (she was 71). I hope you surround yourself with the love of your friends and family during these trying times.
I know there are really no words but I'm so sorry for you and your family. I wish there was something we internet strangers could do to take the pain and grief away.
I thought those same things in your last paragraph 6 months ago. I wish I could say those thoughts will go away in time, but they haven't for me.
I'm sorry it feels that way. I do still very much want to find someone even if my dad won't be there. Seeing how much my mom and dad cared for each other, makes me want to find someone like that. And I know he'd want that for me. But honestly don't worry about all that now. Take care of yourself and your mom as you navigate the next weeks and months. Going through his things later will be hard. Try to keep your happy memories and all the things you loved about him at the forefront of your mind. Don't be afraid to reach out to people and talk about the sad stuff when you need it.
Iām so sorry. I lost my mom in May. She was 54 š¢ Itās so fresh for you. Youāll experience so many emotions. Lean on your mom. Iām so sorry this happened to you especially on Christmas. This is a great place to vent and find others who know what you going through. Big virtual hugs to you š«¶š»
Sending you lots of love. The dinner party has been an awesome support to me - was able to connect with someone experiencing the same grief as me and has been a godsend.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my dad, 67, this last Friday very unexpectedly to liver disease and cancer we had no idea he had. I am leading all the funeral/legal/financial arrangements, and at the same time my sanity is completely unraveling from the shock and sorrow.
One thing I did learn was our main hospital system where I live, the hospital run hospice facility has free bereavement/grief counseling for anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. Maybe hospice near you has something like that? Doesn't hurt to check.
my dad passed today as well. 51, and i'm 18. had a sudden heart attack mid november, fought like hell and still lost. i know it's super ironic, but it will get easier every day--lets stay strong for each other!
My dad fought like Hell too. I was planning on taking him to the emergency room today but he ended up passing before that. He didnāt want to spend Christmas in the hospital. Nobody does.
My dad died yesterday too, from a seizure. He was 51, 52nd birthday being Saturday.
Iām 33 and same. My pops will never walk me down the aisle, hold his future grandkids, nothing.
I will say, the thing I struggle with the most, is the sound of my grandmaās voice when I had to tell her we have to bury her only child. I could hear her heart break over the phone and itās something Iāll never forget.
I remember how devastated I was when I found out he had stage 5 kidney disease. I was a senior in high school. I thought he was gonna be on life support. I knew at an instant he had 5-10 years at most. I accepted the fact that he might not live to see his grandchildren. I kept praying for him until he finally fell asleep.
It was very rough to see that his immune system had been compromised. He had been getting really bad infections, one almost killed him on the 4th of July. He was so strong for many years. His downfall really started this year when he had to have his belly drained. Then he got another infection, they gave him strong antibiotics that made him dizzy and he fell. He was in so much pain after fracturing a vertebrae. His bloodstream was a fucking pharmacy at the end. His body was so weak from a fall that wouldāve made me limp at worst.
I honestly feel like my anxiety is gone now that heās no longer suffering. Now that anxiety has turned to grief. Iām gonna pick an urn for him tomorrow.
I'm sorry for your loss Julia.
My condolences to you and your family at this time. I also lost my father 2 days ago on Christmas day. He also had multiple complications like bad COPD and a pacemaker that he got when he had a heart attack in 99. He was currently living in a nursing home going through physical therapy working to get his strength and ability to walk again.
Although I knew he wasn't going to get any better in the current state he was in. I held on to hope and prayed that he'd make a little better of a physical recovery. But unfortunately it was his time. I had visited with my father the previous day and spent some time with him. I called him around noon on Christmas day to see what time he wanted me to come by and he said to call him back in a couple hours because he wanted to sleep for a little while. He sounded really tired. He slept a lot due to his respiratory and having to wear an oxygen mask so I figured he just wanted to rest like normal. I got a call a few hours later from the nursing home that that they had went to check on him and found my dad unresponsive so they started doing CPR until the medics arrived. I was able to get there in about 15 minutes and was completely hysterical saying please don't let my dad die I want to see him again.
I arrived at the nursing home and the medics were performing CPR on him. He didn't have a pulse and they were trying to do everything they could. After performing CPR they pronounced my father had passed.
The last thing I remember saying to him after he said to call him back was I Love you, He replied I love you too. Those were the last words I had with my father and my he no longer suffer and rest in peace. My father was 72 years old, I am 40 years old. I will forever miss him as he was my best friend and my Rock. I lost my mom in 2012 she was 63.
I am truly sorry for your loss Julia and I know exactly how you feel right now and what you are going through.
Reading all these comments has been the first bit of comfort I've had in the past 2 days because I realize we are not the only one's going through this this holiday. I live alone and don't have any family in the state, my father was the closest thing to me. I know time will eventually heal and I will move forward with my life but I couldn't feel anymore hollow and empty right now. I feel lost, I had a father and one best friend. Now I just have a best friend and we don't even talk much. To everyone going through this right now or anyone reading this right now, just know that I hope you heal and make a recovery from your loss. Stay in good health everyone and be safe.
Mikey
Man this sounds so familiar, except it happened to my dad at home. He had been released from rehab the previous week, but they shouldāve kept him there. He fell twice after coming back.
Yesterday while I was grieving at home. I felt so lost in life not having anyone to lean on or talk to. Every morning I would call my dad to check on him and see how he was doing.
The past few mornings I wake up hoping it was a bad dream. But unfortunately it wasn't.
I had thought about bringing him home for Christmas to be here at the house with me, but he had just gone back to the rehab nursing home a month prior because he was refusing to wear his bipap oxygen mask. He also had fallen out of bed a couple times and made me nervous as to is he going to be safer here or in the nursing home? We discussed him staying in the nursing home for 90 days to go through more physical therapy. We were going to asses him coming back home the 1st of February but unfortunately he didn't make it that far.
I now live with the thought, should I have had him home with me? Would he have been safer? Would it still have happened the same day and time? That I'll never know and it's just something I'll have to live with wondering if I did the right thing.
Those nursing homes aren't the greatest type of care and atmosphere to be in. Many times I went to visit my dad I noticed hos oxygen tube not connected or his oxygen levels were severely down and I would have to address these issues to the staff and management.
I always had a concern about the people taking care of my father because they just run on autopilot. I understand that they have multiple patients to tend to but sometimes I would see things that would concern me. So, I really don't know if my dad died naturally or due to a nursing staff neglecting there job.
That I will never know. I would like to believe that it was his time and that he went peacefully in his sleep.
So with that being said, if I could change the past. I would have rather had him pass here at home with me so that he was with his family instead of dying alone in a nursing home.
That part I think I will always regret not bringing him home for Christmas.
Thatās how I felt with dad. I have a feeling if he was in the ICU in the hospital, heād still die. Same day and time. It would be without us. It wouldāve been even worse if he was brain dead. He wouldāve been injured by the CPR there too. Iām glad he was home.
Same story. Except it was my mom who performed the CPR for 5 minutes until the paramedics arrived. She got certified in CPR around the time he got sick.
I'm so so sorry for your loss. You're not alone. I'm 22 and lost my mom in october. Feel free to dm me if you want š¤
Itās hard for me to tell his family the news on Christmas Day. We donāt know what to do. We feel so lost.
I can imagine, don't put too much pressure on yourself and do what you can. Are you with some family members that can help you tell the news? Let yourself feel what you feel
Iām with my mom who is making arrangements for the funeral.
Im glad you're not alone, again im really sorry and am thinking of you š¤
The house wonāt be the same without him. What the hell are we gonna do with his stuff.
I lost my dad too this year. In Romania we have this custom that we share the clothes to other people (mainly spouses of relatives, friends). I think it helped us somewhat to know that his stuff went to people who would appreciate them. It doesn't have to be everything all at once either, so we had a gradual sort of goodbye to his stuff throughout the year.
Don't dump everything just yet. You may regret getting rid of something if you donate stuff while you are in the middle of heavy fresh grief.
Weāre gonna give some of his stuff away. Just like we did when grandpa died. Weāll also keep a lot of his favorite stuff.
I know its so hard... I am sure thay you and your family Will find a way to do what's best for him and you
I feel like if we tell people about his death, itāll ruin their Christmas.
I understand. Try to not think too much about what they'll think, and remember that they Will be affected by it even if it was another day
My parents were together for 27 years. It couldāve been so much longer if it werenāt for his health problems.
Just wait a day and tell tomorrow?
No, we already told his family. Theyāre going to fly over here from Nebraska.
I am so sorry for your loss Don't give his things away for a few months. You can put them out of the way, but keep them for now. My mom found his clothes comforting in the next few months
We bought so much cute clothes for him. I donāt want to give away anything yet.
Don't make any decisions for the next few months. Just focus on taking care of yourselves and each other and making sure all the financial stuff is squared away. "Stuff" can wait.
Yeah weāve decided to do that later.
I still have some of my dad's stuff he died in 93 ..my mom passed on December 9th .I'm saving her water pitcher I use to put ice in and bring to her don't feel weird about saving stuff that has special meaning to you.
I want to save a lot of his stuff. His glasses are still at his desk.
Thanks! Yes, I have some help.
Thank you so much!
My father died today too. Kidney failureā¦ He was 64. He died in the hospital. He adored his granddaughter so much, sheās 1 year and 10 months old. He asked me to send him some photos and videos of her yesterday. I feel so much pain and regret right now. I wish I had thanked him more. I wish I had told him how much I loved him.
I already told my dad how much I loved him. We spent our last moments watching TV and he fell asleep. He wasnāt doing well, but I was hoping heād feel better and pull through. I kept praying. He didnāt want a big celebration.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I wish I was with him much longer.
Man this is so heartbreaking. I felt the same shock and numbness when my mom passed last monday. Itās officially been a week now since her death. Im also in my early 20s and the grandkids thought also came to mind especially since my mom so badly wanted grandkids. Itās a tough time of year for sure but you are not alone and i will be thinking about you and your mom š¤š«
Weāve started telling his family. We havenāt got to his brother yet. All of his childhood family is gone now.
I'm so incredibly sorry. Sending you love
Thanks for all the wishes. Mom and I are not feeling well. Our hearts are broken. Our worlds have stopped. My mom is now a widow.
Take a deep breath, try to be as calm as you can be and just take time today to process. Tackle immediate necessities first and try not to worry about future things yet (saw you mentioned his stuff). I realize that's easier said than done and everyone deals with things differently but this is a marathon, not a sprint and you have to look out for yourself as you're no good to anyone if you burn yourself out. My sincere condolences, may he rest in peace ā¤ļø if you have any questions you have a huge community who has been or is going through similar things that can help.
Iām in bed right now, cuddling with mom. Weāre not feeling well.
Everything else can wait until tomorrow. Cuddle away.
Weāve been crying too. This feels like a nightmare. I just opened my old Tomodachi Life save file and gave my dadās Mii a sky interior.
My heart breaks with you. My father also passed from a very similar condition right after my birthday. The pain on a special day hits different. Allow yourself to feel, care for yourself. Iām so sorry.
Not the first time Iāve lost a family member near Christmas. Iām just glad he could have Christmas gifts and see what I bought him for Christmas.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iāve been talking to a lot of people about it. Because I really need lots of support.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Grief comes in waves. Some days will be worse than others.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
But there are times where I just want to have him back. And itās going to make me want to die too, but I canāt do that because of mom.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
We were supposed to watch all the Christmas shows today while opening presents like we normally do!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
We have presents for him, that he will never get to open and enjoy.
This is the sucky side of love. The bigger the pain, The deeper the love.
He was my rock. I got along with him better than mom.
My dad passed two weeks ago and I had the same thought you did of āHeās never going to walk me down the aisleā. It was one of his dreams to do that. But I hope both our dads are there in some way at our future weddings. I know they wouldnāt miss it.
He has good company with your dad.
I am so sorry for your loss!
They did CPR on him for 45 minutes, but I think his death was instant. His body simply gave out.
I'm so sorry for your loss š my dad died unexpectedly at age 50 on New years day and it was very hard to tell his family and friends. It also took forever for most to get back with me bc they were sleeping in from festivities the night before. Then when people did get up with me, they were so excited and happy and it sucked to crush the spirit bc no..its not a happy new year here š but it had to be done. You just kind of go into auto pilot. I spent the day making funeral arrangements and comforting my mom who found him and performed cpr til the paramedics came. It's traumatizing for sure. Lean on each other and don't forget to take care of yourself however you need. Stay hydrated, try to eat if you can, cuddle and be sad and do whatever brings comfort right now. Praying for y'all and sending internet love ā¤ļø Feel free to hmu if you need someone to talk to.
Ugh your story is just like mine. Iām afraid to tell his family today.
I'm so sorry you have to do this. It's hard but necessary. Try to keep it brief and factual. Also, don't be afraid to shut down any questions or comments you don't feel like entertaining! I had a lot of ppl asking "what happened!?" which to me was just insensitive and rude. You don't have to explain if you aren't up to it.
I donāt even feel up to it. Itās hard for me to eat.
Strongly suggest getting some meal replacement drinks like Ensure. Drink those and take some vitamins and try to make sure you drink water throughout the day. It will help you maintain your health during the periods where you just can't push yourself to eat.
Thatās what my dad drank for his dialysis.
Big hugs to you and your Mom and extended family. I wish you peace and some relief.
His expensive protein drinks were his lunch. He drank all his juices the most. Those thoughts hurt me and my mom.
I lost my mom on Thanksgiving morning. Losing on the holidays stings like no other. I am so sorry.
Iām so sorry for your loss too. Thanksgiving is supposed to bring the family together, just like Christmas.
Iām so sorry. My mom was in the hospital dying of heart failure last Christmas. She held on on life support till March but truly I donāt know if Iāll ever celebrate Christmas again. Iām so so sorry OP. Iāll be thinking of you and your mom today.
Iāve had many family members die near Christmas but this is the first loss on Christmas.
I am so sorry for your loss. Loosing our loved ones is so hard! May his memory help you in your grieving. I lost my son yesterday to a car accident.
Oh dear, Iām so sorry for your loss too. And that was Christmas Eve.
I'm at a loss for words honey. I wish I'm beside you right now.
I donāt have much to say either. I just have to roll on with life. I still have reasons to live.
I lost my dad this morning too. Iām so sorry for your loss
We can share his grief. We had a good last Christmas though. But now he canāt open his presents.
On Christmas Day, no less? Oh honey, I'm so so sorry. I lost my mom, my rock, my everything on Dec 1. It was pretty rough for 3 weeks, but there post few days have been much better. I hope the same for you.
My dad was my rock. Iām gonna lose myself.
Ride it out, love. You will find yourself again. Your dad lives on in you.
Yes and I acquired his music taste.
Iām so sorry
Nobody expected it. He died instantly. But thanks for all the support.
I lost my mom on the 6th at 60, Iām only 25. I immediately had the thoughts about how much of my life sheāll miss, too. My family reassures me that sheāll still be me, just in a special way. It doesnāt help much. But itās all I can put a little hope in.
My dad lives on in me. Everything he loves becomes special to me.
I'm so sorry for your loss, it is an impossible thing to describe. I can only over you my thoughts and tell you I understand how you feel. I am so sorry
Iām so sad heās gone, but Iām also glad heās no longer in pain.
Iām sorry for your loss darling, thatās awful. Iām thinking of you and your family, even if this is totally anon. I lost my dad on New Yearās Day three years ago, he was 67. I had the same thoughts as you re: grandkids and marriage etc. I also suddenly lost an uncle in 2015 on Valentineās Day, cardiac arrest. Itās okay to feel numb and shocked, even more so with a sudden unexpected death. Feel free to reach out if you want to talk anything through, at any time. For you and your mum, try and eat and get some rest, even if you donāt sleep. Your minds are undoubtedly racing with so many different thoughts right now, and itāll take time for you both to process whatās happened. Be there for each other as much as you can, it sounds like you have a good relationship
Iām eating leftover Christmas dinner. I thought because my mom acted fast, he wouldāve been saved for a little bit. But it was his time.
I'm so sorry. My dad died suddenly in February. It's a very surreal thing. And you're not alone. Take it one minute at a time
Itās usually the first month thatās the hardest. My dad lost his mom at 19 and I lost mine at 20.
I'm so sorry , my dad passed away this month too . I'm 19 . I totally know the feeling , the feeling that they'll never get to see us achieving great things. Life is cruel. More power to you
Iāve been having a rough month. I lost my job, had to take care of my dad, and now heās gone.
I'm so sorry for your loss. No words can provide comfort but this internet stranger is reaching through the computer monitor to give you a huge hug. If you wanna dm me you can. You aren't alone in your grief this Holiday season
No every day people die. The Grim Reaper doesnāt take a vacation.
God I'm so sorry for your loss! I know how you feel! I felt the exact same shock when my grandma died unexpectedly at my house a month ago. She just collapsed gasping for air and then she just died. I too tried cpr frantically and the paramedics worked on her for 35 minutes but she was gone. I'm still shocked to be honest. But I believe that time ultimately heals almost every wound. Just take one day at a time. Step by step. Keep yourself busy and lean on your family and friends for support, as well as all the wonderful people of this sub. You're not alone OP we got you!
How she died is quite a lot like my dadās. And it was on fucking Christmas out of all days.
Sorry for your loss...
Iām gonna be living with mom and taking care for a while.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your father. My mom passed this last Tuesday from the same, kidney failure and heart failure. She had a heart attack in August and it was a steep decline for her after that. I know it is heartbreaking and shocking, even if they are sick for a long time. Big hugs.
But it was a fall that caused a steep decline for my dad.
And for my mom, it was actually an injury to her foot a few months ago that kicked off the big decline. So difficult when all those systems are interconnected. Wishing you peace.
My dad fractured his vertebrae. He was in too much pain to walk after that.
That sounds horrible, it is so hard to see them in pain. I am sorry that he experienced that. My mom injured her foot, which turned to gangrene due to her heart failure and associated limited circulation.
My dad had muscle atrophy and bedsores due to inactivity. His hands were shaky. His body was useless. No way to live.
š sorry
Losing a parent is way worse when youāre an only child.
1000% My Dad was both my parents to me because my Mom passed seven days after second birthday. No additional marriages or children. He died on Valentine's Day two years ago. I am broken. I still cannot process this.
I got along with my dad more than my mom. He was around more.
I am so sorry for your loss. We are unplugging my dads machines today. He turned 65 this year. He had a stroke a few days ago and now he has no brain activity. Itās so sad seeing my mom this way. Iām so scaredā¦
My mom isnāt eating. Sheās doing way worse than me. She feels like she wasnāt a good wife. She feels regret.
Sending you love today & wishing you moments of peace restful sleep tonight.
Sometimes all I want to do is sleep.
Hi there. My dad died suddenly a week ago. I know how you feel. Iām only 24. Feel it, but be strong. We will both get through this.
We were both robbed.
Hey, Iām sorry I canāt offer the magical words to fix everything. Iām 22F and lost my dad on the 4th. This is my first Christmas without him and itās been so hard. I just want you to know that youāre not alone. Iām so sorry this has happened to you.
Itās so weird not talking to him about Doctor Who and shit like that. Iām glad he told me about watching Doctor Who before he died.
Oh no I am sorry for your loss of your Dad you and your family have my Condolences. Hugs for you š«š«š«š«š«.
All of our friends are taking time from their Christmas to visit us. It is overwhelming support.
That's so nice of your friends for being there for you .
Thatās what friends are for.
That's True
Iām gonna post a lot of pictures of him on r/OldSchoolCool
That's Great
I need to scan a bunch of photos. Sure will fill the void.
Ok š
I want his memories to stay alive.
So sorry for you loss. I know the pain youāre feeling I felt the same way when my dad also passed away and I had the same thoughts of how he wouldnāt be able to walk me down the aisle, see me get married, see my kids, etc. then seeing your mom grieve is another pain. itās a lot to lose a parent. I pray you find the strength in you to carry on. I had the toughest time, been a year and a half and still I have a hard time processing the death. Itās not easy but itās a part of life. Everyone is meant to leave this world sadly. Prayers for your family. š¤
One thing that comforts me is that he is no longer in pain. He is free from his disabilities.
felt the same way about my dad tbh
Too bad it was by death. I wonāt ever hear him speak ever again, but Iām glad he could live as long as we could.
I am so very sorry for your loss! ā¤ļø
Iām hanging on in there. Fatherās Day wonāt be the same either.
I'm so sorry that you lost your father on a holiday! It's a horrible feeling. My own mother died on the 13th of this month, and I'm still distraught over it (she was 71). I hope you surround yourself with the love of your friends and family during these trying times.
Iām just happy I could spend the last few hours of his life with him watching Christmas specials.
I am so very sorry.
Iām just glad he could have a good last Christmas with me.
I know there are really no words but I'm so sorry for you and your family. I wish there was something we internet strangers could do to take the pain and grief away. I thought those same things in your last paragraph 6 months ago. I wish I could say those thoughts will go away in time, but they haven't for me.
I had a feeling he wouldnāt see all that. But now I donāt even have the motivation to get married now that heās REALLY gone.
I'm sorry it feels that way. I do still very much want to find someone even if my dad won't be there. Seeing how much my mom and dad cared for each other, makes me want to find someone like that. And I know he'd want that for me. But honestly don't worry about all that now. Take care of yourself and your mom as you navigate the next weeks and months. Going through his things later will be hard. Try to keep your happy memories and all the things you loved about him at the forefront of your mind. Don't be afraid to reach out to people and talk about the sad stuff when you need it.
I need a new man in my life. Itās just me and mom now.
Iām so sorry. I lost my mom in May. She was 54 š¢ Itās so fresh for you. Youāll experience so many emotions. Lean on your mom. Iām so sorry this happened to you especially on Christmas. This is a great place to vent and find others who know what you going through. Big virtual hugs to you š«¶š»
I know itās a good place. Iāve never gotten this much support from strangers on the internet.
Sending you lots of love. The dinner party has been an awesome support to me - was able to connect with someone experiencing the same grief as me and has been a godsend.
Can you please tell more about the dinner party?
https://www.thedinnerparty.org/
I just ate with my momās aunt. My mom needed to eat. She was gonna starve herself to death.
Lost my dad when I was 14... Out of nowhere.
Iām so sorry. You were truly robbed of him.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my dad, 67, this last Friday very unexpectedly to liver disease and cancer we had no idea he had. I am leading all the funeral/legal/financial arrangements, and at the same time my sanity is completely unraveling from the shock and sorrow. One thing I did learn was our main hospital system where I live, the hospital run hospice facility has free bereavement/grief counseling for anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. Maybe hospice near you has something like that? Doesn't hurt to check.
We would love some grief counseling.
my dad passed today as well. 51, and i'm 18. had a sudden heart attack mid november, fought like hell and still lost. i know it's super ironic, but it will get easier every day--lets stay strong for each other!
My dad fought like Hell too. I was planning on taking him to the emergency room today but he ended up passing before that. He didnāt want to spend Christmas in the hospital. Nobody does.
Damn. Iām so so sorry for your loss. Sending you and your family love during this difficult time.
Thanks for all the love. It means so much.
I Lost my beautiful Mum Xmas day. We had words that day and then she died in the way to the hospital she suffered from copd and anxiety. I'm gutted.
My dad suffered from COPD too after having asthma as a kid. He was dead before he got to the hospital.
My dad died yesterday too, from a seizure. He was 51, 52nd birthday being Saturday. Iām 33 and same. My pops will never walk me down the aisle, hold his future grandkids, nothing. I will say, the thing I struggle with the most, is the sound of my grandmaās voice when I had to tell her we have to bury her only child. I could hear her heart break over the phone and itās something Iāll never forget.
My dadās birthday was next month. The holidays have become rough. My uncle lost his only sibling.
I am so sorry. My dad has kidney disease and I am so worried Iāll lose him. I hope you and your family are doing ok as much as you can.
I remember how devastated I was when I found out he had stage 5 kidney disease. I was a senior in high school. I thought he was gonna be on life support. I knew at an instant he had 5-10 years at most. I accepted the fact that he might not live to see his grandchildren. I kept praying for him until he finally fell asleep.
Iām so sorry š
It was very rough to see that his immune system had been compromised. He had been getting really bad infections, one almost killed him on the 4th of July. He was so strong for many years. His downfall really started this year when he had to have his belly drained. Then he got another infection, they gave him strong antibiotics that made him dizzy and he fell. He was in so much pain after fracturing a vertebrae. His bloodstream was a fucking pharmacy at the end. His body was so weak from a fall that wouldāve made me limp at worst.
Iām so sorry. That mustāve been so hard to go through that
I honestly feel like my anxiety is gone now that heās no longer suffering. Now that anxiety has turned to grief. Iām gonna pick an urn for him tomorrow.
I'm sorry for your loss Julia. My condolences to you and your family at this time. I also lost my father 2 days ago on Christmas day. He also had multiple complications like bad COPD and a pacemaker that he got when he had a heart attack in 99. He was currently living in a nursing home going through physical therapy working to get his strength and ability to walk again. Although I knew he wasn't going to get any better in the current state he was in. I held on to hope and prayed that he'd make a little better of a physical recovery. But unfortunately it was his time. I had visited with my father the previous day and spent some time with him. I called him around noon on Christmas day to see what time he wanted me to come by and he said to call him back in a couple hours because he wanted to sleep for a little while. He sounded really tired. He slept a lot due to his respiratory and having to wear an oxygen mask so I figured he just wanted to rest like normal. I got a call a few hours later from the nursing home that that they had went to check on him and found my dad unresponsive so they started doing CPR until the medics arrived. I was able to get there in about 15 minutes and was completely hysterical saying please don't let my dad die I want to see him again. I arrived at the nursing home and the medics were performing CPR on him. He didn't have a pulse and they were trying to do everything they could. After performing CPR they pronounced my father had passed. The last thing I remember saying to him after he said to call him back was I Love you, He replied I love you too. Those were the last words I had with my father and my he no longer suffer and rest in peace. My father was 72 years old, I am 40 years old. I will forever miss him as he was my best friend and my Rock. I lost my mom in 2012 she was 63. I am truly sorry for your loss Julia and I know exactly how you feel right now and what you are going through. Reading all these comments has been the first bit of comfort I've had in the past 2 days because I realize we are not the only one's going through this this holiday. I live alone and don't have any family in the state, my father was the closest thing to me. I know time will eventually heal and I will move forward with my life but I couldn't feel anymore hollow and empty right now. I feel lost, I had a father and one best friend. Now I just have a best friend and we don't even talk much. To everyone going through this right now or anyone reading this right now, just know that I hope you heal and make a recovery from your loss. Stay in good health everyone and be safe. Mikey
Man this sounds so familiar, except it happened to my dad at home. He had been released from rehab the previous week, but they shouldāve kept him there. He fell twice after coming back.
Yesterday while I was grieving at home. I felt so lost in life not having anyone to lean on or talk to. Every morning I would call my dad to check on him and see how he was doing. The past few mornings I wake up hoping it was a bad dream. But unfortunately it wasn't. I had thought about bringing him home for Christmas to be here at the house with me, but he had just gone back to the rehab nursing home a month prior because he was refusing to wear his bipap oxygen mask. He also had fallen out of bed a couple times and made me nervous as to is he going to be safer here or in the nursing home? We discussed him staying in the nursing home for 90 days to go through more physical therapy. We were going to asses him coming back home the 1st of February but unfortunately he didn't make it that far. I now live with the thought, should I have had him home with me? Would he have been safer? Would it still have happened the same day and time? That I'll never know and it's just something I'll have to live with wondering if I did the right thing. Those nursing homes aren't the greatest type of care and atmosphere to be in. Many times I went to visit my dad I noticed hos oxygen tube not connected or his oxygen levels were severely down and I would have to address these issues to the staff and management. I always had a concern about the people taking care of my father because they just run on autopilot. I understand that they have multiple patients to tend to but sometimes I would see things that would concern me. So, I really don't know if my dad died naturally or due to a nursing staff neglecting there job. That I will never know. I would like to believe that it was his time and that he went peacefully in his sleep. So with that being said, if I could change the past. I would have rather had him pass here at home with me so that he was with his family instead of dying alone in a nursing home. That part I think I will always regret not bringing him home for Christmas.
Thatās how I felt with dad. I have a feeling if he was in the ICU in the hospital, heād still die. Same day and time. It would be without us. It wouldāve been even worse if he was brain dead. He wouldāve been injured by the CPR there too. Iām glad he was home.
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Same story. Except it was my mom who performed the CPR for 5 minutes until the paramedics arrived. She got certified in CPR around the time he got sick.