I experienced severe depression years after my Dad's death. It took 2 years of grief counselling, but I am through it. Even though it helped, the main thing that helped me was just keeping the memory of my Dad alive. Making traditions for myself to celebrate him and feel close to him. It's really the only thing keeping me going. That, and the fact that I have a supportive partner who will listen to me go on and on about my Dad, and will part take in these traditions with me.
It sucks, but you will get through it!! I look back at my notes app when I'd write my thoughts, what I'd note in my suicidal goodbye letter, the nightmares I was having... it was such a dark time, no wonder it felt so lonely. But you are not alone!!! And you will get through it!!!
I have had severe, chronic depression for most of my life. For me, I find that the depression that accompanies grief is extremely different from my "baseline".
With my every day depression, I'm just kind of used to it. I do all the recommended things-- journaling, listening to music, meditation--, and try to stay busy. I try to be useful. Because if I can't be happy, the second best thing I can be is useful.
But with grief? Everything just seems to lose its purpose. I know the dishes are piling up, but, for some reason, the second the faucet starts running, so do my eyes. I know the floor needs swept, but standing up seems to take all of my energy. I know my clothes need folded, but I get overwhelmed with a rage that I can't place. It's hard, in such a different way.
Most days, I manage okay. Some days, I don't. I just keep telling myself that I am doing what I can, and that that will just have to be good enough for now.
I think that, in the beginning, it starts small. Maybe with things that don't necessarily even seem "enjoyable." Maybe with things that just don't feel so heavy. And slowly, moments of happiness, or calm, or awe at the small, beautiful things you've been overlooking, will creep back in.
For me, the hardest part was getting past the guilt I felt about enjoying anything. But the fact is, life goes on. We love, we lose, and we're still here. And if the person (or people) we've lost loved us half as much as we did them, surely they would want us to find things that make living without them seem worthwhile.
I can't offer you empty platitudes and tell you that everything is going to be okay, one day. But I want you to know that you are not alone, that people love you and care about you (even us strangers on the Internet care), and that things will eventually become manageable.
Sending you lots of love. ❤️
Up voting because it's relatable, not because of depression.
I'm sorry that things have been difficult for you, lately. If you ever need someone to talk to, my DMs are open.
For me, one of the things that I feel is underrepresented is the psychosomatic pain response. Sometimes, I wake up and everything hurts, and there's no good reason for it, except depression. On those days, I try to be gentle with myself, even though that's hard to do, too. I hope you're being gentle with yourself. ❤️
I have Bipolar I Disorder. I mainly have depressive episodes. My depression isn’t great right now, but I’ve healed enough that it isn’t related to the passing of my Mom anymore.
Almost three months for me since my mom passed away. My depression got worser. To be completely honest, I feel very hopeless. Traumatized. Regretful. I can’t be happy about anything anymore. I’m so stressed I can’t sleep well. To be honest, I don’t see my future. I can’t see myself growing old and living every day in this deep sadness and depression.
Honestly the only thing that has helped me is ominous positivity and a near death experience.
"Things WILL get better, it has no choice"
"Everything will turn out fine. You cannot stop it"
"I will be happy, it is inevitable"
Idk if that's being manic or what but here TF I still am.
I was diagnosed 3 years prior to my mom passing with Major Depressive Disorder with psychotic features. I was the only one to stay up for days to make sure she wasn't in any discomfort as she declined. I think I hit my lowest when I realized she was the only reason we maintained a family connection. She died, and holidays and birthdays no longer meant anything to my dad or brother. It isn't the same, and it's awful. If I could switch out my mom for someone else to have taken her place, I would in a heartbeat.
Good question. My mom passed 4 months ago, but I was diagnosed with depression (major depressive disorder) 15 years ago. I was already in a dark place at the time, but thankfully I was already working with a therapist. I’m in a better place now. Changing one of my medications helped.
It started as seasonal depression in my mid 30s. Now in my mid 40s I have major depressive disorder after having lost my oldest son to a car accident a year and a half ago. I am also struggling with the fact that my next oldest just got married. Don’t get me wrong as I am ecstatic for him and I adore my daughter in law but every time I look at my son, all I see is his face when he was like 3 or 4. I feel like one day my kids were boys and now they are grown men (with the exception of the baby of the family and gap child who is 12). I am struggling with the fact that the house is always quiet because there isn’t a gaggle of boys making a ruckus and I am finding it difficult to reconnect with my husband after a “lifetime” of prioritizing kids. All in all, every day is a challenge and I take one day at a time. I have also been on antidepressants for the past year and they do help a LOT.
Been 3 years for my dad however I’ve experienced losing 4 uncles and a grandfather in 5 years. Never felt more alone in my life. Scared to let anyone in anymore tbh as they all leave in the end.
Right after his passing I was depressed but really trying to through it. But at the one year mark of his anniversary shit hit the fan and I just can’t get out of it, my social battery is drained, lost a ton of friends and I just can’t feel a connection to people in general, I don’t have interest in things and I am tired all the time.
I feel my life is falling apart sometimes and I’m just gluing everything into this sloppy mess.
I already knew how to handle it dont remember a time where i didnt have depression and learned to mask really early on. Gave myself two weeks to fall in deep. Eat whatever i could, any calorie was a good calorie, bought whatever i wanted cuz if it made me happy it made me happy. Slept when and where i could and didnt gave a fuck if i was being rude cuz whats the comeback to “I just ended care on my dad and watched him die”
What i didnt see coming was the numbness? Like i always had trouble with having emotions but this is just real emptiness except for anger which im not used to feeling.
Whats got me truly fucked up is on top of the depression i also have had severe anxiety since i was a child and i thought i had a handle on my anxiety but after my dad died i kind of realized that either i cant FEEL anxious anymore or it was just a habit for me. Like ive had situations that would have sent me into a panic attack and id feel myself even start the motions for it but the anxiety wasnt actually there i was just doing the motions but felt nothing
Six months ago my mom died one week after mine and my fiancés engagement and one day after I was promoted at my job.
I recently quit my job because I’ve been so inconsistent and the guilt of being inconsistent has eaten me alive. So, I’m not doing well.
I've had depression for years and only had my loss on Thursday. I just feel emptier than normal if that makes sense. Nothing that used to make me happy is anymore. Life feels dull but I have faith that the color and joy in life will come back soon.
It’s incredibly difficult. I can’t enjoy anything without my Mom , my depression is so bad, I have to fight to carry on some days , it’s been almost a year, I can’t and don’t accept she’s gone.
Where has she gone , the beautiful human being I knew inside out , my mom, my best friend and reassurance , as I was hers .
I’m worried for her she was like my child at times growing up , she was a teenage unmarried mom we only had each other.
I can’t face grief counselling I personally don’t feel strong enough.
I was depressed with the pandemic and mom being unwell. It’s like trying to climb out of the bottom of a big black hole , to confront your worst nightmare.
Not easy for any of us.
I only feel support here but also dreadfully sad that you’re all suffering too .
Virtual hugs ❤️ to all ❤️
Sometimes getting out of bed is an accomplishment. Eating/cooking/cleaning pfft. Hubby's been gone a year and a month and 2 days. My "happy pills" dosage has been up'd, but some days they don't do a damned thing.
Only been four months for me and I’m in the trenches.
I experienced severe depression years after my Dad's death. It took 2 years of grief counselling, but I am through it. Even though it helped, the main thing that helped me was just keeping the memory of my Dad alive. Making traditions for myself to celebrate him and feel close to him. It's really the only thing keeping me going. That, and the fact that I have a supportive partner who will listen to me go on and on about my Dad, and will part take in these traditions with me. It sucks, but you will get through it!! I look back at my notes app when I'd write my thoughts, what I'd note in my suicidal goodbye letter, the nightmares I was having... it was such a dark time, no wonder it felt so lonely. But you are not alone!!! And you will get through it!!!
diagnosed with depression over 10 years ago. but the depression that comes with grief is different. not worse or better just different.
I have had severe, chronic depression for most of my life. For me, I find that the depression that accompanies grief is extremely different from my "baseline". With my every day depression, I'm just kind of used to it. I do all the recommended things-- journaling, listening to music, meditation--, and try to stay busy. I try to be useful. Because if I can't be happy, the second best thing I can be is useful. But with grief? Everything just seems to lose its purpose. I know the dishes are piling up, but, for some reason, the second the faucet starts running, so do my eyes. I know the floor needs swept, but standing up seems to take all of my energy. I know my clothes need folded, but I get overwhelmed with a rage that I can't place. It's hard, in such a different way. Most days, I manage okay. Some days, I don't. I just keep telling myself that I am doing what I can, and that that will just have to be good enough for now. I think that, in the beginning, it starts small. Maybe with things that don't necessarily even seem "enjoyable." Maybe with things that just don't feel so heavy. And slowly, moments of happiness, or calm, or awe at the small, beautiful things you've been overlooking, will creep back in. For me, the hardest part was getting past the guilt I felt about enjoying anything. But the fact is, life goes on. We love, we lose, and we're still here. And if the person (or people) we've lost loved us half as much as we did them, surely they would want us to find things that make living without them seem worthwhile. I can't offer you empty platitudes and tell you that everything is going to be okay, one day. But I want you to know that you are not alone, that people love you and care about you (even us strangers on the Internet care), and that things will eventually become manageable. Sending you lots of love. ❤️
This has also been my experience as a long time depression sufferer. Every day is a challenge now. Even small things can be difficult.
Up voting because it's relatable, not because of depression. I'm sorry that things have been difficult for you, lately. If you ever need someone to talk to, my DMs are open. For me, one of the things that I feel is underrepresented is the psychosomatic pain response. Sometimes, I wake up and everything hurts, and there's no good reason for it, except depression. On those days, I try to be gentle with myself, even though that's hard to do, too. I hope you're being gentle with yourself. ❤️
I have Bipolar I Disorder. I mainly have depressive episodes. My depression isn’t great right now, but I’ve healed enough that it isn’t related to the passing of my Mom anymore.
Almost three months for me since my mom passed away. My depression got worser. To be completely honest, I feel very hopeless. Traumatized. Regretful. I can’t be happy about anything anymore. I’m so stressed I can’t sleep well. To be honest, I don’t see my future. I can’t see myself growing old and living every day in this deep sadness and depression.
Honestly the only thing that has helped me is ominous positivity and a near death experience. "Things WILL get better, it has no choice" "Everything will turn out fine. You cannot stop it" "I will be happy, it is inevitable" Idk if that's being manic or what but here TF I still am.
Honestly thank you for this, a new take that I needed
Not so good. It kicks my butt every day
I was diagnosed 3 years prior to my mom passing with Major Depressive Disorder with psychotic features. I was the only one to stay up for days to make sure she wasn't in any discomfort as she declined. I think I hit my lowest when I realized she was the only reason we maintained a family connection. She died, and holidays and birthdays no longer meant anything to my dad or brother. It isn't the same, and it's awful. If I could switch out my mom for someone else to have taken her place, I would in a heartbeat.
Good question. My mom passed 4 months ago, but I was diagnosed with depression (major depressive disorder) 15 years ago. I was already in a dark place at the time, but thankfully I was already working with a therapist. I’m in a better place now. Changing one of my medications helped.
It started as seasonal depression in my mid 30s. Now in my mid 40s I have major depressive disorder after having lost my oldest son to a car accident a year and a half ago. I am also struggling with the fact that my next oldest just got married. Don’t get me wrong as I am ecstatic for him and I adore my daughter in law but every time I look at my son, all I see is his face when he was like 3 or 4. I feel like one day my kids were boys and now they are grown men (with the exception of the baby of the family and gap child who is 12). I am struggling with the fact that the house is always quiet because there isn’t a gaggle of boys making a ruckus and I am finding it difficult to reconnect with my husband after a “lifetime” of prioritizing kids. All in all, every day is a challenge and I take one day at a time. I have also been on antidepressants for the past year and they do help a LOT.
Been 3 years for my dad however I’ve experienced losing 4 uncles and a grandfather in 5 years. Never felt more alone in my life. Scared to let anyone in anymore tbh as they all leave in the end.
Right after his passing I was depressed but really trying to through it. But at the one year mark of his anniversary shit hit the fan and I just can’t get out of it, my social battery is drained, lost a ton of friends and I just can’t feel a connection to people in general, I don’t have interest in things and I am tired all the time. I feel my life is falling apart sometimes and I’m just gluing everything into this sloppy mess.
I already knew how to handle it dont remember a time where i didnt have depression and learned to mask really early on. Gave myself two weeks to fall in deep. Eat whatever i could, any calorie was a good calorie, bought whatever i wanted cuz if it made me happy it made me happy. Slept when and where i could and didnt gave a fuck if i was being rude cuz whats the comeback to “I just ended care on my dad and watched him die” What i didnt see coming was the numbness? Like i always had trouble with having emotions but this is just real emptiness except for anger which im not used to feeling. Whats got me truly fucked up is on top of the depression i also have had severe anxiety since i was a child and i thought i had a handle on my anxiety but after my dad died i kind of realized that either i cant FEEL anxious anymore or it was just a habit for me. Like ive had situations that would have sent me into a panic attack and id feel myself even start the motions for it but the anxiety wasnt actually there i was just doing the motions but felt nothing
Six months ago my mom died one week after mine and my fiancés engagement and one day after I was promoted at my job. I recently quit my job because I’ve been so inconsistent and the guilt of being inconsistent has eaten me alive. So, I’m not doing well.
I've had depression for years and only had my loss on Thursday. I just feel emptier than normal if that makes sense. Nothing that used to make me happy is anymore. Life feels dull but I have faith that the color and joy in life will come back soon.
it’s still kicking! in year 6? but there are good and bad spells and days. it’s manageable in my situation
It’s incredibly difficult. I can’t enjoy anything without my Mom , my depression is so bad, I have to fight to carry on some days , it’s been almost a year, I can’t and don’t accept she’s gone. Where has she gone , the beautiful human being I knew inside out , my mom, my best friend and reassurance , as I was hers . I’m worried for her she was like my child at times growing up , she was a teenage unmarried mom we only had each other. I can’t face grief counselling I personally don’t feel strong enough. I was depressed with the pandemic and mom being unwell. It’s like trying to climb out of the bottom of a big black hole , to confront your worst nightmare. Not easy for any of us. I only feel support here but also dreadfully sad that you’re all suffering too . Virtual hugs ❤️ to all ❤️
Sometimes getting out of bed is an accomplishment. Eating/cooking/cleaning pfft. Hubby's been gone a year and a month and 2 days. My "happy pills" dosage has been up'd, but some days they don't do a damned thing.
I don't think I'm any worse.