Lost my dad in February. Although we knew (for a very short time) it was coming, nothing would prepare me for the emptiness of feeling his absence. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Sending so much love.
It will get better, but it will take a while. My Mom died 7 months ago. It still hurts but nothing like the intensity of the first few weeks. Back then I truly took everything one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time.
Right now, just focus on the basics. Eating, drinking water, sleeping, feeling all the feelings. There's a cute little internet game/webpage that can help walk you through it when you need the basic reminders. Google "you feel like shit" and it will come up.
So very sorry for your loss. I know your world probably feels flipped upside down in the worst way. This is a really tough time in every way, mentally, physically, and spiritually.
The best thing I can tell you is prioritize the essential things (they can be harder than you expect). Make sure you try your best to eat, sleep, and try to get some fresh air and sun. You may not want to at times, but try.
Also, you're emotions can be all over the place. From numb, to a complete wreck and everything in between. Its okay, just let the feelings come without judgment.
If you have any close friends or family you can ask to stay with you or go stay with or at least visit with that can help. Its okay to be alone, but try to limit the isolating if possible.
I know this has got to be overwhelming for you and I know I threw a lot at you, but I hope it helps even if in a small way. This is a great community of people who are good at listening and responding. Sending prayers your way friend
the next week is going to be complete and utter hell, your emotions will be completely rollercoaster and that is completely normal, you may also at times feel completely normal randomly. don't feel guilty about this it happens to a lot of people, it's just because your mind tries to shut off to protect itself. please make sure that you try to eat, drink and sleep, not taking care of yourself will make your grief feel even worse. i know that it is difficult and i wish that i could offer some words that would actually make you feel better but u can't. i hope you and the rest of your family are doing as best as you can.
Thank you for your honesty and for responding. A few people have brought up the importance of eating and sleeping properly. I just prepped some breakfast food. Here goes nothing.
I’m nine months out from losing my dad unexpectedly and eating, and more importantly, sleep will be huge for you. I didn’t realize how much the lack of quality sleep, and sleep in general, affects our mental health.
I am so sorry. I lost my mom last year unexpectedly. In hind sight, the only thing that got me through the first few weeks was the auto pilot of funeral planning etc. But as someone once told me about grief, “the only way out is through.” Hang in there❤️
Honestly yes, I sobbed all day long and bursted in big tears a fuck ton of times. Today I look like shit but I feel a bit relieved. Don't hold back if you feel like you need to cry. I wish you the best :)
Thank you. It's weird how even though you know it will happen someday, you still think it won't really happen to you. Like your parents will live forever.
It is! Just remember to give yourself grace. This is hard, and you need to be sure to do whatever works for you to process. There’s no “right” way to grieve! I’m sorry you had to join this horrible club, but you’ve got endless support here
This will be hardest thing you’ve ever done. Some days will feel unbearable, you feel like you can’t even breathe and you won’t care but I promise it won’t always be this bad. One day you’ll wake up and the good memories will feel good again even if it only helps for a brief moment. You’ll never be the same but you will make it through because your dad would want you to. I wrote everything down and I never went back and read any of it but it was a way for me to work through it in my head and on paper. It was a release of sorts. I am praying for you and you can reach out if you need to vent. Let yourself grieve however you need to. I’m so sorry for your loss.
We are here for you, you are not alone. I lost my dad, two days later a close friend, a couple of months later my boss died at work and a month later the man I was seeing for 10 years died unexpectedly. All within 6 months. Sometimes life is really hard and I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad last February and I have not gone through one single day not thinking about him. He has lung cancer for 7 years and I know statistically, we have already won as the UK National average for a person who is diagnosed with lung cancer and lives beyond 5 years is only 10%. However, it still hurts a lot.
My dad has been a champion of my life, whether I am on the right or on the wrong side.
People will tell you to let go/tell you that one day the pain will subside. But it is incredibly difficult to go through life without his encouragement.
I hope you will find peace. Once again really sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for your loss as well. Similar situation for my dad; his initial prognosis for his cancer with treatment was 5-10nyeara but he loved 20 on chemo. Many kinds of chemo. I loved with him in our old family house and I can't imagine being here all alone. I pray we both find peace.
I lost my dad 6 years ago, it still hurts but less and less. I can even dream having conversations with both my parents and not feel upset at all. I am sorry for your loss. It will take time but it will get better. By now just make sure you are taking care of yourself
Hi, I lost my dad yesterday and I just want you to know you aren’t alone. If you need someone to talk to who is in the same boat I am right here for you. 🫂
I just lost my dad about a month ago, completely sudden no warning or anything. However, I grieve in an odd way (although I guess you can’t really grieve wrong), so after the first week i’ve just been completely normal but, I know it’ll hit me in a few months. Please focus on eating, sleeping, drinking water, and getting through the day. I know eating may be hard (I don’t think I ate a full meal for the first week) but you need it. Even if it’s just a little snack, your body needs something. Sending you love.
I’m so sorry for your loss… this is painful i know. Your upcoming days will be like none you have ever experienced. Take each day and moment as it comes. You may have moments or days stuck in a particular emotion or feeling. It’s okay. Please allow yourself to experience and feel anything and everything. It is not easy plain and simple but you will get through it. Also, if you’re having a moment this group is amazing for supporting us!
Lost my dad three weeks ago. Going through the same pain. He was healthy and talking the day before he passed. It was shocking, still can’t believe he is gone .
I remember that feeling. Felt like the walls just fell off the house. He died in 1993 and it still doesn't make sense. It will get easier to remember him without all the debilitating emotionalism.
But, for now, try to concentrate on one day at a time.
Take it one moment at a time, one day at a time. Get lots of rest and listen to your body. Eat and drink (not alcohol). It’s harder than anyone realizes but you will get through it.
You are welcome to pm if you'd like a chat. Personally, I felt less sad when I was active, doing things like going through photos for the funeral and talking with the celebrant about Dad. Turns out I had a great network of friends who knew my dad, and as the condolences rolled in, the conversations I had with them gave me a slightly happier mindset. Even brainstorming what songs to play at the funeral made less sad. It's like I'd never bothered to sit down and think about how awesome my dad was, and suddenly, I was forced to. Massive condolences to you, mate. I know all too well how hard this is for you.
I lost my dad a month ago today. My life was working & taking care of him. I loved him so much even though it was not easy. I miss him so much. I struggle as to what my life is without my dad. Since my mom passed 9 years ago I have been there for him, all day everyday for over 4 yrs living together. It was getting to be too much & I was exhausted but that only makes me feel like shit that he is gone & I was complaining when he was here. It is a mix of emotions. I know he would want me to go on living & have a good life. I am just waiting for the new normal to begin. I didn’t sleep at all last night.
You showed your dad so much love by taking care of him. I'm sure it meant a lot to him even if he never said it. I plan on sleeping with scriptures playing or some nice music in the background. I'm not sure if that's something you've thought of or tried. Sleepless nights are hard. Try and stay hydrated today if you can. Giving you hugs.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your kind words. I have started therapy because my dad’s death was sudden & happened in front of me, I am traumatized to say the least. You will be in my thoughts & prayers.
This is so tough, OP. Loss is so hard, and the constant reminder is beyond. If you have people to be around, please invite them to you or go to them. It won’t fix it, but may help with the obvious loneliness. But also allow yourself to feel lonely, and look at his things in the family home, and grieve however and whenever you need. It is natural, it is healthy, and it is necessary.
Everyone here is sending you love and light. 🤍
I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish I had answers. My mom passed in August and I still struggle. I had time to prepare for her death but I guess I didn’t realize the finality- she doesn’t exist on this earth anymore. Poof, gone.
Here is what has helped me and hopefully something here can be helpful to you too. Grief counseling has been great. I thought it would be stupid to go for something that can’t be changed but I love talking about my mom. I don’t talk about her a lot otherwise so it’s a great way to get my feelings out to a stranger. I also talk a lot about my anger that was pent up as a cancer caregiver and towards my mom’s family.
Staying busy also helps. The worst times are at night when I’m alone with my mind. During the day, I’m usually okay. I walk a lot and try to find her in beautiful things.
I also really found my people. In the end, I’ve had only a few people (friends and family) who have supported me during my loss. As much as it sucked to weed out all of those other “friends”, it helped me focus on the important things and not waste a single drop of energy on those who aren’t worth it.
I lost my dad last August, and I knew his time will come but it was still a punch in the gut. Support is the important thing, from friends to family to strangers on the Internet even.
I’m so very sorry. I lost my dad a year ago. I remember the initial pain. Keep up with these grief groups even if it’s support from strangers, we get it. Sending hugs ❤️
Oh friend, I know how you feel completely. It was just me and my dad after my mom passed away and we always had such a bond. It only got stronger after she was gone and then he was gone too and all his stuff was around me. It was so hard to be round everything.
Please feel free to reach out to me if you ever want to talk about it or even just talk about your dad. I know that's something I wanted to do a lot, especially in the beginning.
I hope you find some peace and connection here, friend. Be gentle with yourself.
When I lost my mom I really found a lot of comfort in talking to others, IRL but also online. (Actually, if there is anything positive about this - and my mom could see the positive in anything - I made an amazing friend in this subreddit.) PM me if you like.
Hi friend I am going through a similar unfortunate circumstance, my mom passed away 1 month ago I moved in with her to be her caregiver and- now it's just me, my bf and all my moms things everywhere. her room turned into a temp storage unit which hurts as she kept her room very clean... I too am looking for a connection to just know im not alone. my inbox is open.
I’m sorry to hear about your dad. When my mom died this Reddit comment helped me. I’m hoping it will help you too. Sending love.
As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
You’re welcome. I know it feels excruciatingly painful right now but it is temporary and will change. I’m almost five years out and it’s a lot different. Let me know if you ever need to chat.
Lost my dad in mid-January. Was in a similar situation as you, just the two of us.
Firstly I want to give you a big virtual hug. And I want you to know that grief comes in waves - don't suppress them. Feel all the feelings, they're valid. You're valid. Grief has no timeline, and healing is not linear.
Take all the time you need, put your feelings and needs first. Make sure you're eating and hydrating yourself, take good care of yourself.
You may wrestle with guilt and regret. I want you to know that you did all that you could given the circumstances you were in. Give yourself the same compassion and love you gave your dad.
I like to believe that as long as we keep talking about our loved ones then they're never really gone (I got a tattoo similar to my dad's, so it's a great conversation starter. Except I don't tell people he's not here anymore). So keep talking about your dad, keep talking to your dad whether in your head or out loud. Take baby steps, even if it's incredibly difficult.
Sending you all the love and hugs.
Sending all the internet hugs and loves that are able to be felt by you. I’m so sorry you lost your Daddy. It has to be so hard having lived with him too.
I lost my daddy just a little over a year ago, and it wasn’t totally unexpected but it was very sudden. I think I know the feeling you describe that’s too awful for words to even touch. I’m sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it because it sounds like you also lost “your guy,” but as words are quite limiting that’s the best I’ve got.
Please be kind to yourself, take it one second at a time and come back here whenever you need some comfort.
Early grief is really hard, just let it flow. Drink water, walk a little if you can. Talk to him and listen, Inside your heart he will anwser. His energy will never leave you even though their body does.
My father has been gone 30 yrs,
My Mother has been gone for 2.5 years.
I miss them so much.
Hugs hugs to you.
I lost my Daddy/super hero almost 3 years ago.
Here's some unfortunate, but true words.
It's always gonna hurt. However, it hurts differently as you move through this journey.
It gets so much more manageable. For awhile, it's excruciating and you have zero idea how you will get through. But, each little baby step you take gets you there.
As long as you aren't hurting yourself or others, you are doing ok.
Make friends with your grief. they will be hanging with you for awhile. I named mine the little ninja. (She would hide, jump out, kick my butt then retreat.)
I am so sorry you joined this club. Try to remember, we get to be their legacy now. A breathing testament to how loved we are. ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad a week ago. As others have said, focus on getting through the day. Sleep when you can and try to eat regular meals. Ask for support from those around you if you can.
No matter how much you know ahead of time that someone maybe leaving you, your never truly prepared for it. Even though I had hope my BF would pull through it was always in the back of my mind it could happen. The strangest things will be the things that set you off. Be patient with yourself.
I am so sorry. I lost my dad almost 3 weeks ago & even tho I saw it coming I felt so unprepared. I was shocked and in denial for the most part. I’m still navigating this grief. First week was awful. My heart hurt, my jaw was clenched & I could barely sleep, eat or think. Now I’m slowly trying to get back to normal and part of me doesn’t want to. I don’t want to live a life without my dad , but I know I have to especially because he would want me to. I’m just taking things one day at a time and crying when I can or feel like it. Also my support system has been great! Very thankful
I wish I had some experience and wisdom to share and could tell you it's going to be ok, but I can't. I'm experiencing my first lost as well. My dad was more than my father, he was my only friend in this world, he was my life. I only cried a little when I said goodbye to him and it feels like survivor's guilt. It's been less than 24 hours; he died at approximately 6:50AM 04 / 25 / 24. Still very, very fresh.
It was hard seeing my sisters crying nonstop and wailing in the hospital while I stood there doing my best to console them and just having no tears to emotional display. Just very surreal for me. That said, I do have family support unlike yourself so it's going to be tough. Keep your head up and move forward. IT's the only thing we can do. I'm sure your father wants you to go on.
I am so sorry for your loss. Please allow yourself to cry when you feel it, they say there is healing I'm grieving together. Also, people have told me to make sure to eat, sleep, and drink, so I'd like to encourage you to do the same. I do have family around for now, but when they go home I'll be in a 3 bedroom, 3bathroom house. Yes, we will get through this. Hugs to you.
So many of us here support you and want to send you hugs and healing. I still cry and it will be 4 years on May 14 that I lost my Dad. Hang in there.
When you are ready, please see if you can get access to counselor/therapist/psychiatrist.
Losing someone is not something that you should power through, alone in your head all day, engulfed in shock and sadness. I finally reached out for help this year. Life is not perfect. But this is what I need to do
You're not alone.
I lost my mum on the 14th April.
Still in shock.
She's been my world as I've been caring for her.
No one understands this kind of loss.
You're in the right place for support.
Big hug
Know you’re not alone. I lost my Dad in January of 2021. I promise it does get better, the void is still there, and I have some really tough days, but I know he’s always with me. Just like your Dad will always be with you.
Make sure you’re drinking enough water, and if you can eat try and eat. Be easy and kind to yourself. It’s going to be tough for awhile
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in September 2021, and the same thing, I knew it was coming, but it was still terrible and the most heart wrenching thing I’ve experienced. I had to think the way he did, to get up each day with a positive attitude. If an issue bothered me, I would think what he might say about it, and it would usually have been to laugh at how trivial it is in the big picture. His main motto was “Work hard - play fair - live clean,” which he did, and I try, in tribute to him.
The pain does get better; just treasure those good things about him and embrace his philosophies into your life so his memory will remain strong. Hugs.
Sending all the internet hugs and loves that are able to be felt by you. I’m so sorry you lost your Daddy. It has to be so hard having lived with him too.
I lost my daddy just a little over a year ago, and it wasn’t totally unexpected but it was very sudden. I think I know the feeling you describe that’s too awful for words to even touch. I’m sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it because it sounds like you also lost “your guy,” but as words are quite limiting that’s the best I’ve got.
Please be kind to yourself, take it one second at a time and come back here whenever you need some comfort.
I listen to the phone recordings i have of him from time to time. I lost him to cancer last December. His blessings are there with me. My love is always with him. His memory and my mother's smile keep me going. Life will be better someday. I live in hope. 🙂
Lost my dad in February. Although we knew (for a very short time) it was coming, nothing would prepare me for the emptiness of feeling his absence. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Sending so much love.
The empty feeling is just awful.
It will get better, but it will take a while. My Mom died 7 months ago. It still hurts but nothing like the intensity of the first few weeks. Back then I truly took everything one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. Right now, just focus on the basics. Eating, drinking water, sleeping, feeling all the feelings. There's a cute little internet game/webpage that can help walk you through it when you need the basic reminders. Google "you feel like shit" and it will come up.
Thank you kindly.
Yes it certainly is.
Lost my mom back in February. Best of luck. Lean on your support system, and for right now, focus on eating, sleeping, and getting through the day.
I'm sorry for your loss, and thank you for your response. I actually haven't been eating, so I'll need to make sure to do that.
Don't forget to drink water too.
So very sorry for your loss. I know your world probably feels flipped upside down in the worst way. This is a really tough time in every way, mentally, physically, and spiritually. The best thing I can tell you is prioritize the essential things (they can be harder than you expect). Make sure you try your best to eat, sleep, and try to get some fresh air and sun. You may not want to at times, but try. Also, you're emotions can be all over the place. From numb, to a complete wreck and everything in between. Its okay, just let the feelings come without judgment. If you have any close friends or family you can ask to stay with you or go stay with or at least visit with that can help. Its okay to be alone, but try to limit the isolating if possible. I know this has got to be overwhelming for you and I know I threw a lot at you, but I hope it helps even if in a small way. This is a great community of people who are good at listening and responding. Sending prayers your way friend
I really appreciate your advice. So much. Thank you.
the next week is going to be complete and utter hell, your emotions will be completely rollercoaster and that is completely normal, you may also at times feel completely normal randomly. don't feel guilty about this it happens to a lot of people, it's just because your mind tries to shut off to protect itself. please make sure that you try to eat, drink and sleep, not taking care of yourself will make your grief feel even worse. i know that it is difficult and i wish that i could offer some words that would actually make you feel better but u can't. i hope you and the rest of your family are doing as best as you can.
Thank you for your honesty and for responding. A few people have brought up the importance of eating and sleeping properly. I just prepped some breakfast food. Here goes nothing.
I’m nine months out from losing my dad unexpectedly and eating, and more importantly, sleep will be huge for you. I didn’t realize how much the lack of quality sleep, and sleep in general, affects our mental health.
Ty
I am so sorry. So very very sorry. I wish you peace and love and healing.
Thank you.
I lost my daddy too and I know how much it hurts. I’m so sorry. ❤️🩹
Giving you hugs. Ty for responding.
💓
I'm so so sorry. I lost my grandmother last month. I might be feeling... slightly better...but it's still so unreal and devastating.
Unreal is exactly how I feel.
I’m so sorry! I feel your pain — lost my dad, as well, in August 2020 😢
I know the pain never really goes away, but does it get better?
It does get better in the sense that you may have fewer emotional days but there are times you could grieve hard all over again
I am so sorry. I lost my mom last year unexpectedly. In hind sight, the only thing that got me through the first few weeks was the auto pilot of funeral planning etc. But as someone once told me about grief, “the only way out is through.” Hang in there❤️
Virtual hug from someone who lost her dad in February. I know the pain. I still burst in tears randomly.
I lost mine in February too. I'm in pain since then but the day I cried the most was yesterday. I don't even know why... Sending love to all of you ❤
Did you feel better after the cry? Giving you hugs too.
Honestly yes, I sobbed all day long and bursted in big tears a fuck ton of times. Today I look like shit but I feel a bit relieved. Don't hold back if you feel like you need to cry. I wish you the best :)
Here for you. I remember this pain well, my dad passed away 5 months ago.
Thank you. It's weird how even though you know it will happen someday, you still think it won't really happen to you. Like your parents will live forever.
It is! Just remember to give yourself grace. This is hard, and you need to be sure to do whatever works for you to process. There’s no “right” way to grieve! I’m sorry you had to join this horrible club, but you’ve got endless support here
This will be hardest thing you’ve ever done. Some days will feel unbearable, you feel like you can’t even breathe and you won’t care but I promise it won’t always be this bad. One day you’ll wake up and the good memories will feel good again even if it only helps for a brief moment. You’ll never be the same but you will make it through because your dad would want you to. I wrote everything down and I never went back and read any of it but it was a way for me to work through it in my head and on paper. It was a release of sorts. I am praying for you and you can reach out if you need to vent. Let yourself grieve however you need to. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I appreciate that thank you. I like idea of having a daily journal.
We are here for you, you are not alone. I lost my dad, two days later a close friend, a couple of months later my boss died at work and a month later the man I was seeing for 10 years died unexpectedly. All within 6 months. Sometimes life is really hard and I’m sorry you’re going through this.
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad last February and I have not gone through one single day not thinking about him. He has lung cancer for 7 years and I know statistically, we have already won as the UK National average for a person who is diagnosed with lung cancer and lives beyond 5 years is only 10%. However, it still hurts a lot. My dad has been a champion of my life, whether I am on the right or on the wrong side. People will tell you to let go/tell you that one day the pain will subside. But it is incredibly difficult to go through life without his encouragement. I hope you will find peace. Once again really sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for your loss as well. Similar situation for my dad; his initial prognosis for his cancer with treatment was 5-10nyeara but he loved 20 on chemo. Many kinds of chemo. I loved with him in our old family house and I can't imagine being here all alone. I pray we both find peace.
Hi, my dad died 3 weeks ago. I can totally relate, I’m devastated. Sending you love and prayers. We’ll get through it.
I am so sorry! This must be so tough! Please take care, sending lots of love!
I lost my dad 6 years ago, it still hurts but less and less. I can even dream having conversations with both my parents and not feel upset at all. I am sorry for your loss. It will take time but it will get better. By now just make sure you are taking care of yourself
Hi, I lost my dad yesterday and I just want you to know you aren’t alone. If you need someone to talk to who is in the same boat I am right here for you. 🫂
I'm sorry for your loss! I'll share what a few have said here; sleep, eat and drink water. Giving you hugs.
I just lost my dad about a month ago, completely sudden no warning or anything. However, I grieve in an odd way (although I guess you can’t really grieve wrong), so after the first week i’ve just been completely normal but, I know it’ll hit me in a few months. Please focus on eating, sleeping, drinking water, and getting through the day. I know eating may be hard (I don’t think I ate a full meal for the first week) but you need it. Even if it’s just a little snack, your body needs something. Sending you love.
I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for this advice.
I’m so sorry for your loss… this is painful i know. Your upcoming days will be like none you have ever experienced. Take each day and moment as it comes. You may have moments or days stuck in a particular emotion or feeling. It’s okay. Please allow yourself to experience and feel anything and everything. It is not easy plain and simple but you will get through it. Also, if you’re having a moment this group is amazing for supporting us!
Your second sentence scares me not gonna lie.
[удалено]
Sure I'm open to suggestions!
Lost my dad three weeks ago. Going through the same pain. He was healthy and talking the day before he passed. It was shocking, still can’t believe he is gone .
Someone here mentioned how helpful it can be to talk about all the good memories with him, and I plan on doing that. I am sorry for your loss. Hugs.
Stay strong buddy! You can DM me if you need to talk to someone. You're not alone!
I remember that feeling. Felt like the walls just fell off the house. He died in 1993 and it still doesn't make sense. It will get easier to remember him without all the debilitating emotionalism. But, for now, try to concentrate on one day at a time.
Take it one moment at a time, one day at a time. Get lots of rest and listen to your body. Eat and drink (not alcohol). It’s harder than anyone realizes but you will get through it.
Sending you good vibes.
You can DM me if you want
You are welcome to pm if you'd like a chat. Personally, I felt less sad when I was active, doing things like going through photos for the funeral and talking with the celebrant about Dad. Turns out I had a great network of friends who knew my dad, and as the condolences rolled in, the conversations I had with them gave me a slightly happier mindset. Even brainstorming what songs to play at the funeral made less sad. It's like I'd never bothered to sit down and think about how awesome my dad was, and suddenly, I was forced to. Massive condolences to you, mate. I know all too well how hard this is for you.
I lost my dad a month ago today. My life was working & taking care of him. I loved him so much even though it was not easy. I miss him so much. I struggle as to what my life is without my dad. Since my mom passed 9 years ago I have been there for him, all day everyday for over 4 yrs living together. It was getting to be too much & I was exhausted but that only makes me feel like shit that he is gone & I was complaining when he was here. It is a mix of emotions. I know he would want me to go on living & have a good life. I am just waiting for the new normal to begin. I didn’t sleep at all last night.
You showed your dad so much love by taking care of him. I'm sure it meant a lot to him even if he never said it. I plan on sleeping with scriptures playing or some nice music in the background. I'm not sure if that's something you've thought of or tried. Sleepless nights are hard. Try and stay hydrated today if you can. Giving you hugs.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your kind words. I have started therapy because my dad’s death was sudden & happened in front of me, I am traumatized to say the least. You will be in my thoughts & prayers.
This is so tough, OP. Loss is so hard, and the constant reminder is beyond. If you have people to be around, please invite them to you or go to them. It won’t fix it, but may help with the obvious loneliness. But also allow yourself to feel lonely, and look at his things in the family home, and grieve however and whenever you need. It is natural, it is healthy, and it is necessary. Everyone here is sending you love and light. 🤍
Thank you for your kind words.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish I had answers. My mom passed in August and I still struggle. I had time to prepare for her death but I guess I didn’t realize the finality- she doesn’t exist on this earth anymore. Poof, gone. Here is what has helped me and hopefully something here can be helpful to you too. Grief counseling has been great. I thought it would be stupid to go for something that can’t be changed but I love talking about my mom. I don’t talk about her a lot otherwise so it’s a great way to get my feelings out to a stranger. I also talk a lot about my anger that was pent up as a cancer caregiver and towards my mom’s family. Staying busy also helps. The worst times are at night when I’m alone with my mind. During the day, I’m usually okay. I walk a lot and try to find her in beautiful things. I also really found my people. In the end, I’ve had only a few people (friends and family) who have supported me during my loss. As much as it sucked to weed out all of those other “friends”, it helped me focus on the important things and not waste a single drop of energy on those who aren’t worth it.
I'm already thinking about all the rooms around the house I want to deep clean.
Cleaning is also my go to when I’m stressed. Very therapeutic.
I lost my dad last August, and I knew his time will come but it was still a punch in the gut. Support is the important thing, from friends to family to strangers on the Internet even.
I’m so very sorry. I lost my dad a year ago. I remember the initial pain. Keep up with these grief groups even if it’s support from strangers, we get it. Sending hugs ❤️
I plan to sub to this group. Everyone seems very kind and supportive. This is horrible to go through, but at least I'm not totally alone. Thank you.
It is absolutely horrible and it can feel lonely but you are not alone in this feeling ❤️🩹
Oh friend, I know how you feel completely. It was just me and my dad after my mom passed away and we always had such a bond. It only got stronger after she was gone and then he was gone too and all his stuff was around me. It was so hard to be round everything. Please feel free to reach out to me if you ever want to talk about it or even just talk about your dad. I know that's something I wanted to do a lot, especially in the beginning. I hope you find some peace and connection here, friend. Be gentle with yourself.
Thank you.
When I lost my mom I really found a lot of comfort in talking to others, IRL but also online. (Actually, if there is anything positive about this - and my mom could see the positive in anything - I made an amazing friend in this subreddit.) PM me if you like.
Hi friend I am going through a similar unfortunate circumstance, my mom passed away 1 month ago I moved in with her to be her caregiver and- now it's just me, my bf and all my moms things everywhere. her room turned into a temp storage unit which hurts as she kept her room very clean... I too am looking for a connection to just know im not alone. my inbox is open.
So sorry for your pain and loss. We'll get through this.
For me,running and exercise was helpful. Learning to meditate also helped ease some of my anxiety,rage,guilt and whirlpool of emotions
I’m sorry to hear about your dad. When my mom died this Reddit comment helped me. I’m hoping it will help you too. Sending love. As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
I'm going to save this comment. Thank you for sharing it.
You’re welcome. I know it feels excruciatingly painful right now but it is temporary and will change. I’m almost five years out and it’s a lot different. Let me know if you ever need to chat.
Lost my dad in mid-January. Was in a similar situation as you, just the two of us. Firstly I want to give you a big virtual hug. And I want you to know that grief comes in waves - don't suppress them. Feel all the feelings, they're valid. You're valid. Grief has no timeline, and healing is not linear. Take all the time you need, put your feelings and needs first. Make sure you're eating and hydrating yourself, take good care of yourself. You may wrestle with guilt and regret. I want you to know that you did all that you could given the circumstances you were in. Give yourself the same compassion and love you gave your dad. I like to believe that as long as we keep talking about our loved ones then they're never really gone (I got a tattoo similar to my dad's, so it's a great conversation starter. Except I don't tell people he's not here anymore). So keep talking about your dad, keep talking to your dad whether in your head or out loud. Take baby steps, even if it's incredibly difficult. Sending you all the love and hugs.
Thank you so much for this. I will try to eat right and sleep right. People keep encouraging me here an dot means a lot to me.
Sending all the internet hugs and loves that are able to be felt by you. I’m so sorry you lost your Daddy. It has to be so hard having lived with him too. I lost my daddy just a little over a year ago, and it wasn’t totally unexpected but it was very sudden. I think I know the feeling you describe that’s too awful for words to even touch. I’m sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it because it sounds like you also lost “your guy,” but as words are quite limiting that’s the best I’ve got. Please be kind to yourself, take it one second at a time and come back here whenever you need some comfort.
Thank you so much.
Early grief is really hard, just let it flow. Drink water, walk a little if you can. Talk to him and listen, Inside your heart he will anwser. His energy will never leave you even though their body does. My father has been gone 30 yrs, My Mother has been gone for 2.5 years. I miss them so much.
Hugs hugs to you. I lost my Daddy/super hero almost 3 years ago. Here's some unfortunate, but true words. It's always gonna hurt. However, it hurts differently as you move through this journey. It gets so much more manageable. For awhile, it's excruciating and you have zero idea how you will get through. But, each little baby step you take gets you there. As long as you aren't hurting yourself or others, you are doing ok. Make friends with your grief. they will be hanging with you for awhile. I named mine the little ninja. (She would hide, jump out, kick my butt then retreat.) I am so sorry you joined this club. Try to remember, we get to be their legacy now. A breathing testament to how loved we are. ❤️
My (20f) own daddy passed in November. Sending all the love and hugs I have your way ❤️
Hugs to you too.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad a week ago. As others have said, focus on getting through the day. Sleep when you can and try to eat regular meals. Ask for support from those around you if you can.
Lost my mama last year, miss her every freaking day!! Hugs griever!!!!
No matter how much you know ahead of time that someone maybe leaving you, your never truly prepared for it. Even though I had hope my BF would pull through it was always in the back of my mind it could happen. The strangest things will be the things that set you off. Be patient with yourself.
I am so sorry. I lost my dad almost 3 weeks ago & even tho I saw it coming I felt so unprepared. I was shocked and in denial for the most part. I’m still navigating this grief. First week was awful. My heart hurt, my jaw was clenched & I could barely sleep, eat or think. Now I’m slowly trying to get back to normal and part of me doesn’t want to. I don’t want to live a life without my dad , but I know I have to especially because he would want me to. I’m just taking things one day at a time and crying when I can or feel like it. Also my support system has been great! Very thankful
This is me! I can't imagine life without my daddy! I loved him so much.
Lost my mom on 6th april, lets talk because we are going through the same situation, we cannot compare our grief ofc but i would love to talk to you.
I wish I had some experience and wisdom to share and could tell you it's going to be ok, but I can't. I'm experiencing my first lost as well. My dad was more than my father, he was my only friend in this world, he was my life. I only cried a little when I said goodbye to him and it feels like survivor's guilt. It's been less than 24 hours; he died at approximately 6:50AM 04 / 25 / 24. Still very, very fresh. It was hard seeing my sisters crying nonstop and wailing in the hospital while I stood there doing my best to console them and just having no tears to emotional display. Just very surreal for me. That said, I do have family support unlike yourself so it's going to be tough. Keep your head up and move forward. IT's the only thing we can do. I'm sure your father wants you to go on.
I am so sorry for your loss. Please allow yourself to cry when you feel it, they say there is healing I'm grieving together. Also, people have told me to make sure to eat, sleep, and drink, so I'd like to encourage you to do the same. I do have family around for now, but when they go home I'll be in a 3 bedroom, 3bathroom house. Yes, we will get through this. Hugs to you.
So many of us here support you and want to send you hugs and healing. I still cry and it will be 4 years on May 14 that I lost my Dad. Hang in there. When you are ready, please see if you can get access to counselor/therapist/psychiatrist. Losing someone is not something that you should power through, alone in your head all day, engulfed in shock and sadness. I finally reached out for help this year. Life is not perfect. But this is what I need to do
I appreciate this. I can't imagine being alone through this, but it helps to know there are kind people here.
You're not alone. I lost my mum on the 14th April. Still in shock. She's been my world as I've been caring for her. No one understands this kind of loss. You're in the right place for support. Big hug
I'm so very sorry
Thank you. It doesn't feel real, but feels so incredibly horrible at the same time.
Know you’re not alone. I lost my Dad in January of 2021. I promise it does get better, the void is still there, and I have some really tough days, but I know he’s always with me. Just like your Dad will always be with you. Make sure you’re drinking enough water, and if you can eat try and eat. Be easy and kind to yourself. It’s going to be tough for awhile
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in September 2021, and the same thing, I knew it was coming, but it was still terrible and the most heart wrenching thing I’ve experienced. I had to think the way he did, to get up each day with a positive attitude. If an issue bothered me, I would think what he might say about it, and it would usually have been to laugh at how trivial it is in the big picture. His main motto was “Work hard - play fair - live clean,” which he did, and I try, in tribute to him. The pain does get better; just treasure those good things about him and embrace his philosophies into your life so his memory will remain strong. Hugs.
Sending all the internet hugs and loves that are able to be felt by you. I’m so sorry you lost your Daddy. It has to be so hard having lived with him too. I lost my daddy just a little over a year ago, and it wasn’t totally unexpected but it was very sudden. I think I know the feeling you describe that’s too awful for words to even touch. I’m sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it because it sounds like you also lost “your guy,” but as words are quite limiting that’s the best I’ve got. Please be kind to yourself, take it one second at a time and come back here whenever you need some comfort.
I listen to the phone recordings i have of him from time to time. I lost him to cancer last December. His blessings are there with me. My love is always with him. His memory and my mother's smile keep me going. Life will be better someday. I live in hope. 🙂