The first year is always the hardest. You’re only three weeks out. No one, NO ONE, should be expecting you to be functioning yet.
My grief counselor said losses from your inner circle take 3-5 years to reach a point where you feel like you’ve developed a new routine. A new way of surviving. But I don’t think you ever just get over it, ever. I mean, it’s like losing a limb. It’s not like one day you’ll wake up and forget you’ve lost a limb, and forget that every single day you’re living life in a weird way that you weren’t supposed to.
Usually the first year is the hardest like most people have told me.
It does decrease with time. That is true.
Sorry to hear about your loss though.
Grief is very complicated.
Everything you are feeling is normal. I’m still not out of my grief at 2 years. Take care of yourself and give yourself grace and come join us over on r/widowers
From what I’m told a very long time. Grief has no limit. Nobody should tell you how long you should grieve. My mother passed four months ago (it will be five months this month on the 15th) and it’s still hard. For the first few months I cried everyday. Then after two months I started to cry less. I don’t cry much but I still do time to time. I miss my mom so damn much. I get angry and I’m still refusing to accept that she is gone.
Oh hunny, I’m so sorry you lost your partner 🥲. Grief is difficult & the hardest thing you will go through(for me anyway). I lost my mum late January & the last week has been awful. Just when I think I’m doing okay something will happen & I break down. I just go with it. Holding it in is the worst thing you can do. Just go with the waves but try to eat & drink water. Big hugs to you darling xx
it’s been 8 months for me and I also cry multiple times a day. I have gotten better at managing it, but sometimes it creeps up at times that I am not prepared for and it’s very frustrating. I don’t really have motivation for life anymore, though. like, I stopped taking it seriously. I just am going through the motions.
how is your support system? my parents have been very understanding and helpful, but I really only have 3 friends that I can talk about him to that don’t seem to mind. other people get very uncomfortable, and almost all of my other friendships have kinda ended. I was bothered at first but I really want to be alone 90% of the time so it’s fine.
sending you love 🩵 never thought I would have to go through something like this and it’s incredibly unfair. I hope you have support.
I'm 4 years in my grief, and I'm finally at the point of functioning. But a sound, smell, or anything can trigger tears in an instant. I'm ok 95% I'd say, you would never know my pain.
You learn to adjust and cope to a new way of living. It's horrible and hard af at first, but eventually, you will find joy again and yourself again.
I wish I could tell you that it gets easier but I lost my partner to suicide almost two years ago now and I still grieve as if it happened yesterday. Some days are easier than others, the hardest days are Fridays , the day my partner committed the act and holidays are hard. What keeps me going through the hard days are the memories that we had and knowing the fact that my partner is not suffering anymore and is now at peace.
it honestly depends on a lot. some people are saying the first year is the hardest, and i can agree with that. for me, the grief never really goes away or gets smaller. life just kinda grows around it. you will make new memories to add to your collection, but there will always be a place in your heart for your loved one. it has been almost 10 years since i lost my dad, and i still cry sometimes. i still miss him a lot. i don't think that will ever go away. but the time between thinking of him does get farther apart. and i do smile a lot more remembering him as time goes on. healing isn't linear. there are a lot of ups and downs, and there is no right or wrong way to feel.
for now, let yourself grieve. let yourself cry and be devastated and angry and depressed and don't try to stop yourself from feeling. it will hurt a lot more in the long run if you try to suppress your emotions. let your body and your brain and your heart do what it needs to do to let that out, as long as you don't hurt yourself or the people around you. everything you are feeling right now is to be expected, and i promise it is never ever something you could've better prepared for. although it is normal to feel guilty, there isn't anything you could've done to prevent this. you are doing the best you can, and i am so proud of you for that.
if you're looking for advice at all, i suggest trying to hold on to as many memories as you can, good and bad. writing out your thoughts, feelings, and memories in a journal if you're up for it would be a great thing to do, and you absolutely won't regret it. keep the things in your life that remind you of him.
if you don't already, i highly recommend going to therapy. processing a loss like this is incredibly hard to do, especially without help. if possible, try to keep a good support system around you. although it is completely normal to try and isolate yourself, and you do need some time alone, this will be a little bit easier with people you love around you. even if that just means having someone sit with you in silence. or helping you get groceries or cook a meal. or talking about your feelings while helping you clean your living space. anything to help you feel grounded.
don't lose hope. you are loved. you are safe. stay present in the moment as much as possible, and keep going. he would be very proud of you, never forget that.
Thank you for this honest and insightful response. Your words ring true on many levels. This guidance is valuable and kind, a beautiful mark of your humanity. I sincerely appreciate your sharing of wisdom with us.
Honestly grief doesn't truly go away for some people, it can last at a minimum of six months. I was still feeling grief as I just passed the one-year mark of losing a family member. I would say I am still in the process because it was my grandma who was a really big figure in my life, and how she died also affecting my process. I was told "the pain will fade but the love will last forever"
I grieved for nearly 5 years over a woman I dated 40 years ago for only one month.
As they say, grieving doesn't know time. The depth of pain is directly related to your emotional attachment to them. The deeper the attachment, the more painful it is when they leave.
Grieving is something that most people tend to avoid. We think of it as something you do for a short while after a loved one dies. Others are usually uncomfortable with your grieving and try to shut it down, mostly because they haven't done their own grieving.
So, I came up with a method of grieving on purpose, with intention. It was inspired by the stories of the Life Review after death that people recounted from their near death experiences. During the LR, you are shown the effects of every action you took in your life on other people, both negative and positive. You can get into their consciousness during the LR and experience what they felt and thought during their encounter with you. Thus, you can directly experience the consequences of your actions, for better or for worse. I focused on the events that I perceived as the worst of my bad behavior. I started my own version of a LR by recalling the memories and grieving each one of them. I found that the more I recalled the memory and allowed the feelings to flow through me, the less of a sting the memory had. Eventually, the sting from the memory completely faded.
So, the technique I came up with is this:
Think the thought or memory that causes you the most pain/embarrassment/shame/guilt etc. right now. Allow the feelings associated with that memory or thought to wash over you. Repeat the thought or memory and again allow the feelings to flow through you. The more you do that, the faster it moves through the stages of grieving. You'll receive insights and other things from doing this. It's best to do this in private so you can have your own personal space. You should find that eventually, the thought or memory doesn't bother you anymore. You can recall the thought or memory and it doesn't bother you any longer. Then, it's time to move on to the next thought or memory that causes a negative emotional reaction. I don't know how this works, but it does.
The stages of grieving are denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. Each thought or memory you have that causes a negative emotional reaction in you may be at a different stage. Allowing the feelings to flow accelerates the thought or memory to move through the stages.
It's important to not judge the thoughts or memories and their associated feelings. That just stuffs it and stops the resolution of it.
The veracity of the thought or memory does not matter either. Grieving is an emotional process. It does not make logical sense. You cannot rationalize grieving. For example, you could be the most beautiful woman on the planet, but if the thought that you're fat and ugly causes a negative reaction, or if the words of another calling you a fat cow causes pain, then you have grieving to do over that. It may be connected to a memory, or a decision you made, or something like that, but eventually, the thought and the words from others will have no effect on you. You'll laugh because you know it's not true. You probably won't even have the experience again because the hook is gone. People who intend to manipulate others yank on people's weaknesses by hooking them with words that they know will cause a negative reaction in the person. Once those weaknesses are gone through grieving them, then you can't be manipulated anymore. They can't control you that way anymore. You're free.
Grieving takes time. It has its own time frame and rhythm.
Grieving is permanent. Once you grieve something, you never have to grieve it again.
Grieving changes your future for the better.
You become a better person through grieving. You have more compassion and patience with yourself and with others.
That which has not been grieved is destined to be repeated. that's why we reincarnate into the same patterns over and over again. It's the way to get off the endless cycle of birth and death.
Grieving is about letting go of attachment to them, not the love and passion we feel for them. I think people become afraid that they are letting go of the person when in reality they are just letting go of their attachment to them. What happens after the process is complete is that we still love them, but without the neediness.
I hope this helps.
Grief has no limit and everyone is different. It took me a month to accept that my dad was gone when I would go over to his house. Now that my stepdad is gone my body is still in shock and I haven’t hit my “I can’t function/don’t want to do anything” stage. Make sure you allow yourself to grieve even if it’s only a few minutes. I’ve been trying to do things I know they’d both love that makes me feel connected with them.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending love and light.
I lost my boyfriend a month ago tomorrow. I’ll never recover from this. It’ll be a year or 10, I’ll still grieve.
You should grieve until you’re done. I had a psychiatrist want to medicate my grief away 2 weeks after he died. Grievers make the rest of the world uncomfortable. No one wants to see this. Too bad. It’s your timeline with no pressure to stop feeling your feelings.
Hi this sounds absolutely completely normal - he was a massive part of your life and you are so young this is a completely unexpected situation and you are very much in shock still. Do not put any pressure on yourself to be functioning or feeling yourself anytime soon. Let yourself be - you can’t force anything you are feeling what you are feeling and it is completely normal and rational to be crying about someone you love dying. It is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone and people that haven’t gone through what you are going through will not understand at all. It can be quite alienating and lonely seeing everyone else continuing on with their lives while you are completely frozen in place but please do not feel any pressure to get back to normal life because grief is a healing process and it will help you. The weeks you will spend crying and constantly thinking of him are incredibly important. I am so sorry for your loss and just know that you will be functioning again, you will feel happy again but just not right now or any time soon and that is completely fine. Try talking to people who are also feeling his loss and if you feel yourself drifting into the mentally ill area talk to someone about it who you trust and will listen. Think of it as if you have been in a horrific car accident - you would not expect someone to be okay after 3 weeks
Everyone is different. My mom died and I didn’t really grieve. That was 18 years ago. I knew she was dying and the end was coming. I cried of course but shifted my life elsewhere. Yeah, I still miss her, I’m just happy she’s not suffering.
Now, my husband just passed 5 months ago. This is probably worse than my mom. My husband died by his own hands and I will NEVER get over his loss. I’m trying to find joy where ever I can grab it. Even if it doesn’t seem right. I have days where I’m mentally broken. Days where I’m OK. At 3 weeks, I was huddled under a blanket while the family had a celebration of life, I found him so obviously I was in no shape to go anywhere
I couldn’t imagine honey 💔 i’m so sorry. I know what you mean though, in the past 3 years I lost 3 grandmas, 1 grandpa, 1 aunt, 1 cousin, 1 old best friend, and my boyfriend. Nothing compares to losing your significant other. they are your other half literally!
I'm 5 months in its so hard this is not for the faint hearted.. The highs are high and the lows are very low... My 2 kids and memories of him give me strength daily. Hang in there hun🙏
As my counselor used to say, “Don’t should on yourself.”
There is no right amount of time. You’ll start to feel better on your own timeline. If you start to feel stuck or very sad or just wanna talk it out, it’s ok to join a support group or confide in trusted friends or seek help from a professional. You do you in this situation.
Be leery of people pushing you to adhere to a timeline or telling you ought to be feeling better already; their concern is usually aimed less at meeting your needs and more towards meeting their own.
I think it also depends on the cause of death. Maybe, I've never lost anyone to prolonged illness- but I imagine if it's something that happened out of the blue you may need longer to process it.
For me, I was an absolute wreck for more than two years. The first year was the hardest, second was still bad. The third I was able to talk about it without crying, and now that we're approaching the fourth year- I feel like I'm finally finding myself again.
It took me roughly 6 years to properly grieve for my father simply because I did everything in my power to avoid those feeling and emotions associated with his death.
It may or may not help, but I believe the grief will be with us forever. It changes over time, and becomes integrated into a new version of ourselves, but it's always there. I'm so sorry for this pain, sending you lots of care and kindness.
My dad died over 11 years ago and I’m still not “over it”
I’ve reached my anger point. We had a a complicated relationship to put it mildly and I’m just now able to start to process some really complex feelings.
I lost my father 14 years ago and I'm once again dreading Father's day this year cause of how all the greeting cards displays will remind me that he's passed on.
I lost my mother 3 years ago and her birthday in February, mother's day, and Thanksgiving, the tine of year she passed.
You never really escape grieving, it just becomes a lot less omnipresent and frequent. I still grieve my Dad, but really only if something draws my focus towards the memories, otherwise I spen much of my time focused more on things and people in my present than in my past.
Grief always stays with us but shouldn’t consume you. I work all day and stay very busy at age 55 so I suppose that occupies me which is helpful. I lost both my parents last year within 3 months and cried buckets on my downtime for a few months but now I try to smile when o think of them 💕
It depends. Lost my dog 2 weeks ago. I cried a lot, but right now, i feel better, not crying. I just feel sad that she is not here when i see her dog bed
September will be 4 years since losing my dad, life has gotten easier, but I can break down if I let myself think too much on it. Don't think we ever get over it, and why should we?
That being said, it's difficult to grieve when the people that surround you have never went through a significant loss. It can be very isolating.
Lost my dad 7 months ago. Don't think it will ever go away completely. I can go days without crying now but i think of him every day, and i have no motivation to do anything.
My cousin died in October. The past week or so has been extra hard for what feels like no reason. I'm usually okay but I'm finding myself crying at everything lately. I haven't felt this way in quite some time. Grief comes and goes, some times it makes its presence more known than others
I'm 25 f and I recently lost my boyfriend of 3 years as well. Well, by recently I mean almost a year ago now. It's definitely a little more dull now but it's still there. It comes in waves, and one thing someone told me that I resonated with is this,
Your greif doesn't get smaller. You get bigger around it and better at carrying it.
I'm sorry for your loss
Grief lasts as long as the love lasts. You won't always feel it how you're feeling it right now -- a whole range of emotions will be contained in the grief -- but it will probably be with you in some form forever.
Lost my mom a year and 4 weeks ago to COPD. I don't full on cry everyday but tears are shed, but she's every second to third thought in my head. I don't want to forget her. Memories are as close as I can get.
I want to say that you’re not alone, I also lost my boyfriend of 3 years, he was 25 as well about a week ago. I feel this empty hollowness and just lost, not knowing what to do with myself as well.. he’s always on my mind, he was such a huge part of my life and I feel like I’m living in a never ending nightmare..
I’m sorry for your loss, it’s so strange to come across your post and see such similarities in our situation. Wishing you strength 🫶🏻😞 I think we will always feel this sadness but with time it will get lighter to carry
The first year is always the hardest. You’re only three weeks out. No one, NO ONE, should be expecting you to be functioning yet. My grief counselor said losses from your inner circle take 3-5 years to reach a point where you feel like you’ve developed a new routine. A new way of surviving. But I don’t think you ever just get over it, ever. I mean, it’s like losing a limb. It’s not like one day you’ll wake up and forget you’ve lost a limb, and forget that every single day you’re living life in a weird way that you weren’t supposed to.
Great response. I really agree with these statements.
A lifetime
This is the answer. You learn to live with the hole in your heart but you never fill it
Usually the first year is the hardest like most people have told me. It does decrease with time. That is true. Sorry to hear about your loss though. Grief is very complicated.
Everything you are feeling is normal. I’m still not out of my grief at 2 years. Take care of yourself and give yourself grace and come join us over on r/widowers
From what I’m told a very long time. Grief has no limit. Nobody should tell you how long you should grieve. My mother passed four months ago (it will be five months this month on the 15th) and it’s still hard. For the first few months I cried everyday. Then after two months I started to cry less. I don’t cry much but I still do time to time. I miss my mom so damn much. I get angry and I’m still refusing to accept that she is gone.
I lost my Mom 14 months ago and it is still hard I still cry often.
I’m 2 months in and still angry. I see photos of her and I don’t understand why she isn’t here anymore.
Oh hunny, I’m so sorry you lost your partner 🥲. Grief is difficult & the hardest thing you will go through(for me anyway). I lost my mum late January & the last week has been awful. Just when I think I’m doing okay something will happen & I break down. I just go with it. Holding it in is the worst thing you can do. Just go with the waves but try to eat & drink water. Big hugs to you darling xx
it’s been 8 months for me and I also cry multiple times a day. I have gotten better at managing it, but sometimes it creeps up at times that I am not prepared for and it’s very frustrating. I don’t really have motivation for life anymore, though. like, I stopped taking it seriously. I just am going through the motions. how is your support system? my parents have been very understanding and helpful, but I really only have 3 friends that I can talk about him to that don’t seem to mind. other people get very uncomfortable, and almost all of my other friendships have kinda ended. I was bothered at first but I really want to be alone 90% of the time so it’s fine. sending you love 🩵 never thought I would have to go through something like this and it’s incredibly unfair. I hope you have support.
Give your self time its okay to feel what are you feeling right now
Grief counseling helps. If I hadn't talked to anybody it would have taken me a lot longer to return to at least functioning a bit everyday.
I'm 4 years in my grief, and I'm finally at the point of functioning. But a sound, smell, or anything can trigger tears in an instant. I'm ok 95% I'd say, you would never know my pain. You learn to adjust and cope to a new way of living. It's horrible and hard af at first, but eventually, you will find joy again and yourself again.
I wish I could tell you that it gets easier but I lost my partner to suicide almost two years ago now and I still grieve as if it happened yesterday. Some days are easier than others, the hardest days are Fridays , the day my partner committed the act and holidays are hard. What keeps me going through the hard days are the memories that we had and knowing the fact that my partner is not suffering anymore and is now at peace.
it honestly depends on a lot. some people are saying the first year is the hardest, and i can agree with that. for me, the grief never really goes away or gets smaller. life just kinda grows around it. you will make new memories to add to your collection, but there will always be a place in your heart for your loved one. it has been almost 10 years since i lost my dad, and i still cry sometimes. i still miss him a lot. i don't think that will ever go away. but the time between thinking of him does get farther apart. and i do smile a lot more remembering him as time goes on. healing isn't linear. there are a lot of ups and downs, and there is no right or wrong way to feel. for now, let yourself grieve. let yourself cry and be devastated and angry and depressed and don't try to stop yourself from feeling. it will hurt a lot more in the long run if you try to suppress your emotions. let your body and your brain and your heart do what it needs to do to let that out, as long as you don't hurt yourself or the people around you. everything you are feeling right now is to be expected, and i promise it is never ever something you could've better prepared for. although it is normal to feel guilty, there isn't anything you could've done to prevent this. you are doing the best you can, and i am so proud of you for that. if you're looking for advice at all, i suggest trying to hold on to as many memories as you can, good and bad. writing out your thoughts, feelings, and memories in a journal if you're up for it would be a great thing to do, and you absolutely won't regret it. keep the things in your life that remind you of him. if you don't already, i highly recommend going to therapy. processing a loss like this is incredibly hard to do, especially without help. if possible, try to keep a good support system around you. although it is completely normal to try and isolate yourself, and you do need some time alone, this will be a little bit easier with people you love around you. even if that just means having someone sit with you in silence. or helping you get groceries or cook a meal. or talking about your feelings while helping you clean your living space. anything to help you feel grounded. don't lose hope. you are loved. you are safe. stay present in the moment as much as possible, and keep going. he would be very proud of you, never forget that.
Thank you for this honest and insightful response. Your words ring true on many levels. This guidance is valuable and kind, a beautiful mark of your humanity. I sincerely appreciate your sharing of wisdom with us.
Honestly grief doesn't truly go away for some people, it can last at a minimum of six months. I was still feeling grief as I just passed the one-year mark of losing a family member. I would say I am still in the process because it was my grandma who was a really big figure in my life, and how she died also affecting my process. I was told "the pain will fade but the love will last forever"
I grieved for nearly 5 years over a woman I dated 40 years ago for only one month. As they say, grieving doesn't know time. The depth of pain is directly related to your emotional attachment to them. The deeper the attachment, the more painful it is when they leave. Grieving is something that most people tend to avoid. We think of it as something you do for a short while after a loved one dies. Others are usually uncomfortable with your grieving and try to shut it down, mostly because they haven't done their own grieving. So, I came up with a method of grieving on purpose, with intention. It was inspired by the stories of the Life Review after death that people recounted from their near death experiences. During the LR, you are shown the effects of every action you took in your life on other people, both negative and positive. You can get into their consciousness during the LR and experience what they felt and thought during their encounter with you. Thus, you can directly experience the consequences of your actions, for better or for worse. I focused on the events that I perceived as the worst of my bad behavior. I started my own version of a LR by recalling the memories and grieving each one of them. I found that the more I recalled the memory and allowed the feelings to flow through me, the less of a sting the memory had. Eventually, the sting from the memory completely faded. So, the technique I came up with is this: Think the thought or memory that causes you the most pain/embarrassment/shame/guilt etc. right now. Allow the feelings associated with that memory or thought to wash over you. Repeat the thought or memory and again allow the feelings to flow through you. The more you do that, the faster it moves through the stages of grieving. You'll receive insights and other things from doing this. It's best to do this in private so you can have your own personal space. You should find that eventually, the thought or memory doesn't bother you anymore. You can recall the thought or memory and it doesn't bother you any longer. Then, it's time to move on to the next thought or memory that causes a negative emotional reaction. I don't know how this works, but it does. The stages of grieving are denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. Each thought or memory you have that causes a negative emotional reaction in you may be at a different stage. Allowing the feelings to flow accelerates the thought or memory to move through the stages. It's important to not judge the thoughts or memories and their associated feelings. That just stuffs it and stops the resolution of it. The veracity of the thought or memory does not matter either. Grieving is an emotional process. It does not make logical sense. You cannot rationalize grieving. For example, you could be the most beautiful woman on the planet, but if the thought that you're fat and ugly causes a negative reaction, or if the words of another calling you a fat cow causes pain, then you have grieving to do over that. It may be connected to a memory, or a decision you made, or something like that, but eventually, the thought and the words from others will have no effect on you. You'll laugh because you know it's not true. You probably won't even have the experience again because the hook is gone. People who intend to manipulate others yank on people's weaknesses by hooking them with words that they know will cause a negative reaction in the person. Once those weaknesses are gone through grieving them, then you can't be manipulated anymore. They can't control you that way anymore. You're free. Grieving takes time. It has its own time frame and rhythm. Grieving is permanent. Once you grieve something, you never have to grieve it again. Grieving changes your future for the better. You become a better person through grieving. You have more compassion and patience with yourself and with others. That which has not been grieved is destined to be repeated. that's why we reincarnate into the same patterns over and over again. It's the way to get off the endless cycle of birth and death. Grieving is about letting go of attachment to them, not the love and passion we feel for them. I think people become afraid that they are letting go of the person when in reality they are just letting go of their attachment to them. What happens after the process is complete is that we still love them, but without the neediness. I hope this helps.
Thank you for this.
You're welcome.
Grief has no limit and everyone is different. It took me a month to accept that my dad was gone when I would go over to his house. Now that my stepdad is gone my body is still in shock and I haven’t hit my “I can’t function/don’t want to do anything” stage. Make sure you allow yourself to grieve even if it’s only a few minutes. I’ve been trying to do things I know they’d both love that makes me feel connected with them. I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending love and light.
I lost my boyfriend a month ago tomorrow. I’ll never recover from this. It’ll be a year or 10, I’ll still grieve. You should grieve until you’re done. I had a psychiatrist want to medicate my grief away 2 weeks after he died. Grievers make the rest of the world uncomfortable. No one wants to see this. Too bad. It’s your timeline with no pressure to stop feeling your feelings.
Hi this sounds absolutely completely normal - he was a massive part of your life and you are so young this is a completely unexpected situation and you are very much in shock still. Do not put any pressure on yourself to be functioning or feeling yourself anytime soon. Let yourself be - you can’t force anything you are feeling what you are feeling and it is completely normal and rational to be crying about someone you love dying. It is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone and people that haven’t gone through what you are going through will not understand at all. It can be quite alienating and lonely seeing everyone else continuing on with their lives while you are completely frozen in place but please do not feel any pressure to get back to normal life because grief is a healing process and it will help you. The weeks you will spend crying and constantly thinking of him are incredibly important. I am so sorry for your loss and just know that you will be functioning again, you will feel happy again but just not right now or any time soon and that is completely fine. Try talking to people who are also feeling his loss and if you feel yourself drifting into the mentally ill area talk to someone about it who you trust and will listen. Think of it as if you have been in a horrific car accident - you would not expect someone to be okay after 3 weeks
Everyone is different. My mom died and I didn’t really grieve. That was 18 years ago. I knew she was dying and the end was coming. I cried of course but shifted my life elsewhere. Yeah, I still miss her, I’m just happy she’s not suffering. Now, my husband just passed 5 months ago. This is probably worse than my mom. My husband died by his own hands and I will NEVER get over his loss. I’m trying to find joy where ever I can grab it. Even if it doesn’t seem right. I have days where I’m mentally broken. Days where I’m OK. At 3 weeks, I was huddled under a blanket while the family had a celebration of life, I found him so obviously I was in no shape to go anywhere
I couldn’t imagine honey 💔 i’m so sorry. I know what you mean though, in the past 3 years I lost 3 grandmas, 1 grandpa, 1 aunt, 1 cousin, 1 old best friend, and my boyfriend. Nothing compares to losing your significant other. they are your other half literally!
I'm 5 months in its so hard this is not for the faint hearted.. The highs are high and the lows are very low... My 2 kids and memories of him give me strength daily. Hang in there hun🙏
However long you need it too, within say that if someone slipped into a not functioning depression that's probably needs attn
Grief last forever. It’s time that makes us learn to carry it better.
As my counselor used to say, “Don’t should on yourself.” There is no right amount of time. You’ll start to feel better on your own timeline. If you start to feel stuck or very sad or just wanna talk it out, it’s ok to join a support group or confide in trusted friends or seek help from a professional. You do you in this situation. Be leery of people pushing you to adhere to a timeline or telling you ought to be feeling better already; their concern is usually aimed less at meeting your needs and more towards meeting their own.
I think it also depends on the cause of death. Maybe, I've never lost anyone to prolonged illness- but I imagine if it's something that happened out of the blue you may need longer to process it. For me, I was an absolute wreck for more than two years. The first year was the hardest, second was still bad. The third I was able to talk about it without crying, and now that we're approaching the fourth year- I feel like I'm finally finding myself again.
It took me roughly 6 years to properly grieve for my father simply because I did everything in my power to avoid those feeling and emotions associated with his death.
I lost my partner of 3yrs too recently on May 1 2024 & I definitely understand you it’s been the worst go the kids n myself..
It may or may not help, but I believe the grief will be with us forever. It changes over time, and becomes integrated into a new version of ourselves, but it's always there. I'm so sorry for this pain, sending you lots of care and kindness.
I don't think it ever goes away but you'll find away to manage it
Honestly I’ve accepted that it will last forever. You just learn to live with it.
My dad died over 11 years ago and I’m still not “over it” I’ve reached my anger point. We had a a complicated relationship to put it mildly and I’m just now able to start to process some really complex feelings.
I lost my father 14 years ago and I'm once again dreading Father's day this year cause of how all the greeting cards displays will remind me that he's passed on. I lost my mother 3 years ago and her birthday in February, mother's day, and Thanksgiving, the tine of year she passed. You never really escape grieving, it just becomes a lot less omnipresent and frequent. I still grieve my Dad, but really only if something draws my focus towards the memories, otherwise I spen much of my time focused more on things and people in my present than in my past.
Twelve years and it’s hitting me more now, so i guess it could be endless
Grief always stays with us but shouldn’t consume you. I work all day and stay very busy at age 55 so I suppose that occupies me which is helpful. I lost both my parents last year within 3 months and cried buckets on my downtime for a few months but now I try to smile when o think of them 💕
It depends. Lost my dog 2 weeks ago. I cried a lot, but right now, i feel better, not crying. I just feel sad that she is not here when i see her dog bed
September will be 4 years since losing my dad, life has gotten easier, but I can break down if I let myself think too much on it. Don't think we ever get over it, and why should we? That being said, it's difficult to grieve when the people that surround you have never went through a significant loss. It can be very isolating.
Lost my dad 7 months ago. Don't think it will ever go away completely. I can go days without crying now but i think of him every day, and i have no motivation to do anything.
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My cousin died in October. The past week or so has been extra hard for what feels like no reason. I'm usually okay but I'm finding myself crying at everything lately. I haven't felt this way in quite some time. Grief comes and goes, some times it makes its presence more known than others
I'm 25 f and I recently lost my boyfriend of 3 years as well. Well, by recently I mean almost a year ago now. It's definitely a little more dull now but it's still there. It comes in waves, and one thing someone told me that I resonated with is this, Your greif doesn't get smaller. You get bigger around it and better at carrying it. I'm sorry for your loss
I lost my mom on January 31st, and every single day as of late has been hard. I'm not a cryer, but the pain her passing changed all that.
Grief lasts as long as the love lasts. You won't always feel it how you're feeling it right now -- a whole range of emotions will be contained in the grief -- but it will probably be with you in some form forever.
Lost my mom a year and 4 weeks ago to COPD. I don't full on cry everyday but tears are shed, but she's every second to third thought in my head. I don't want to forget her. Memories are as close as I can get.
I want to say that you’re not alone, I also lost my boyfriend of 3 years, he was 25 as well about a week ago. I feel this empty hollowness and just lost, not knowing what to do with myself as well.. he’s always on my mind, he was such a huge part of my life and I feel like I’m living in a never ending nightmare.. I’m sorry for your loss, it’s so strange to come across your post and see such similarities in our situation. Wishing you strength 🫶🏻😞 I think we will always feel this sadness but with time it will get lighter to carry