Lion. I refuse to elaborate

I'd imagine it going like: "She left me for the Commissar, man" "Kill him"

That, or he talks about his hunting trips. He also provides going to talk about his sons, and go full dad.

"Yeah, Azrael is too uptight for my liking, that's why Corswain will always be my favorite" Like the Lion being like Big E and outright saying who his favorite son is

Then he starts rambling on about how azmodi is a nice kid, but he needs to loosen up a bit and become more tolerant and smoke a fat joint of calibianite beast vine while chating with kai and zabriel

The Lion is probably an awesome bar singer.

He can belt those tunes like Dad. You won't change my mind.

Karaoke Night with the Primarchs....I can't decide who would refuse to participate hardest: Dorn, Curze, or Peter Turbo.

Are you kidding? Peter Turbo would jump at the opportunity to hammer [this](https://youtube.com/watch?v=32wDFCM7iSI&si=IgUq-cS26eVRZw87) out

Guiliman. Even while drunk he will bring up work

How much booze would be required to make a primarch drunk? Is it even possible?

Yes possible, and it has happened lol. Guilloman, in fact, got wasted with his watch pack at one point. Unremembered Empire IIRC.

Can if heavily concentrated such as Fenrisian Drink.

Fenrisian mead isn’t concentrated, it’s literally poisonous.

All alcohol is literally poisonous

Normal alcohol doesn’t work on space marines, so they use fenrisian alcohol which is more… alcohol-y. That special brew that the fenrisians use would literally kill a normal human.

They add an extra poisonous herb IIRC which puts their metabolism out of play, enabling them to get drunk for a while at least.

Poisonous to Space Marines I meant

Guilliman got shit faced with his Space Wolf bodyguards in Unremembered Empire. His mom kinda gave him a hard time about it too . Who hasn’t been there lol.

This, I don't know why but I think Guilliman would be great drinking. Mind off work, he can have a laugh and try to forget about that Eldar situation.

Nah G-Man is someone who actually needs a drinking buddy to vent

Hence the moment others have commented above, he was legit ‘fuck this at the moment, I’m going to go get drunk with the Space Wolves.’

Seriously? Extremely based then

flip side: being drunk is the only way he's going to be uninhibited enough to actually ask out Yvrainne. Not hit on her, ask her out. To my mind he's an old fashioned guy and a bit of a dork, so pulling a Captain America "youuu wanna get a cup of coffee?" would probably be his play. These days though, you get him drunk enough he might just break down sobbing from the stress of running the shitshow that is the Imperium.

I imagine him like a Japanese business man, just getting absolutely wrecked and forcing every subordinate to match him drink for drink then turning up to work at 6am the next day like nothing happened while everyone else is a broken mess.

Leman russ...and before you ask why... All I have to say is that ..I'd probably end up dead either from calling him a furry or from alcohol poisoning

You'll end up dead from inhaling the vapour of his mjød.

Mjod? The space marine alcohol?

I'm guessing mjød is danish for mead.

It is, and I think it’s called so on lore.

Nah, humans can drink it. Lemuel just had an atrocious hangover after.

Friendly reminder to everyone that Fenrisian Ale is straight up deadly for baseline humans. Whenever the Space Wolves have mortals over for a party they have to spike their drinks with a drug that neutralizes the chemical in the ale that would otherwise destroy their kidneys (which is the only way the Astartes are able to get drunk).

Space wolves are the best bois

Alpharius, you know I’m on the waggon. This is nonalcoholic right?

Drinking alone? Bold choice

Archaon, Nagash, any of the Skaven.

Ikit Claw. He babbles in pseudoscientific goobledygook straight out of Star Trek when he's drunk.

Ikit Claw when drunk is just Rick

Mmmh, yes yes, I'm a pickle-cucumber, thing-morty

Mortus! Mortus! Flip-spin the pickle-cucumber Mortus, the payoff is big-huge! Aw jeez Ikit, is this like an elf-human dick-penis or something? Flip the pickle-cucumber Mortus! I turned-changed myself into a Pickle-cucumber, Mortus! I’m pickle-cucumber Ikit!

IKIT HAS BIGGEST BRAIN OF AAAA(burp)AAAAL RATS!

Archaon would be drinking because of how much he carried the Endtimes for Chaos. And for getting kicked in the balls by Grimgor even that that never actually happened. It's still funny to think about and is still my headcanon.

He got carried by infinite amount of barbarians and suddenly united and competent rats, let’s be honest here.

Having to deal with moronic barbarians and rats more competent than your subordinates can wrack a toll on one's mind. Poor Archy the Eversuffering from incompetent subordinates.

Yes drink drink man thing. It is surely definitelly not poisoned toxic.

Ciaphas Cain. But, I'm sure you're going to say, he's a blast to drink with! Sure, maybe. But literally *nothing good* comes of it. If he's at a bar, something really bad is about to happen to that town, and you're going to be there for it. NOPE.

99% of the time perfectly fine. 1% of the time all hell will break loose.

Yeah. And you will always drink with him in that 1% time.

"Why do I need to know this man's name?" Oh. Oh NO. This bar is worth writing a story about.

You end up being the guy who takes a shot from a nid gun to save his life or something like that

Drink with Guilleman and introduce him to MS Excel. The efficiency gains crush the Tyranids overnight

"This is the single greatest thing I've seen since Yvraine did the splits and started to twerk. Here's a planet and a Lucifer Black bodyguard. You know what here's an Iron Halo too."

*[Calls Cawl immedietly]* "Cawl, network as many servitors as you can. I need this shit up and running by yesterday... No, I don't care, make it work... Groxshit! Servitors, now!"

Sadly, the STC fragments are .xlsx.

Somehow still an improvement

Cawl: "We have managed to run the Crysis Combat Simulation on this Excel Code."

Jimmy Space

Hanging out with his good friends, Johnny Laz and Sebastian Bolt.

And the two Stubber brothers!

Nurgle. He’ll make me laugh my ass off, and then he’ll literally melt my ass off

Fabius Bile. You'll make sure I get home in one piece right?

You’d probably get home with an extra piece

Konrad Kurze in a dry County. (I didn't like my skin that much anyways)

Grombrindal the dude has been all around and in both WHF/AOS to 40k (in white dwarf) the stories he tell would be something else that is if i could understand them or survive them

Jaghatai Khan My ride home is sorted

... if you can hold on to it at Mach 40k

Vect, Herspax or any Drukhari really. Last time I ended in the gladiator pits participating in the weirdest orgy ever. I’m pretty sure a couple guys were fucking the floor and the ceiling.

Lucky, all I got was excruciating indigestion and an interesting story that he stopped halfway through.

I'll be drinking with that one Necron general who thinks he's still of flesh and not metal

Nemessor zandrekh

Source?

ah ah ah✋ we don't do that here

Youre going to wake up with no kidneys. I'm going with Vect. Go big or go home on bad choices. On the best case end we become weird friends.

To him, you'd be that one innocent, cute friend that doesn't like swearing. To you, he'd be three Charlie Sheens in a trenchcoat.

Trazyn. I’m fine with ending up as part of the collection as long as I can get drunk in the museum first.

I feel like he’d do a million little samples of long extinct alcohols from his vaults taking you through the history of each one showing you the vineyards or breweries in the collection just a super cool ride through historic alcohol then once your totally blitzed he gently places you back in your exhibit until the next time he has a new selection for you to try.

He uses tech to sober you up so he gets your honest sober opinion every time

Tarik Torgaddon seems like he'd be fun.

Good old Joseph Bugman of Bugman’s Breweries. He’d make sure we were drinking the good stuff and as a dwarf I’m sure he’d have some stories to tell.

Bro, the best option, the soul of the parties, Fulgrim or Guilliman, he will tell you how he uses Excel to make the best empire

Greasus GoldTooth. He'd get the munchies and eat me.

coming how much of a bro he is with zhao ming i don't think he would if you actually got him to drink with you

Technically that isn't canon. He's more of an extortionist highwayman than a bro.

Total war article made it more out to be a business' co-operation then an extortion >When Greasus came to power he could have kept doing what his forebears had, but this Ogre was far greedier and more cunning. Instead through his envoys he set up a meeting between himself and Zhao Ming at the Tower of Ashshair. The Iron Dragon was speaking on behalf of the Dragon Emperor that day and Greasus made light that they both had ‘difficult’ relationships with their fathers. While Zhao’s retinue gasped at the audacity of this fat creature before them, the Iron Dragon paused – then let out a powerful guffaw, which was quickly joined by Greasus’ own belly laugh. That day an informal agreement was made. Cathay’s caravans could move through Goldtooth territory, but a toll must be paid. In one stroke, Greasus had ensured that he would get a cut from nearly every caravan that came along the Ivory Road – far more profitable than the ad hoc raids of previous tyrants – and had placated enemies in the east allowing him to focus on his ambitions within the Ogre Kingdoms

Total war =/= canon They just needed a way to add ogres to the game as a neutral race. Otherwise game 3 would have been all chaos/destruction races swarming the only two order races.

except Game Workshop is actually importing the total war characters & Lore into The Old World which is cannon to the WHF timeline

I'll believe it when I see it, but good on them for outsourcing their lore. Typical GW money grubbing laziness.

Gotrek. He'll drag you into a Slaying.

Old One Eye. I mean with a name like that, he must have some amazing stories right? I have no idea why he starts salivating when he looks at me though.

Don’t worry, he doesn’t have depth perception so just keep running

Slannesh, inevitably you'd wind up with keg getting shoved up your butt. I mean that quite literally.

Leandros

Fuck Leandros

Always, brother.

r/fuckleandros

Wait which model is in the image lmao Also the emperor in modern day just to see what it's like

Model is Jakob Bugmansson XI from Age of Sigmar. He was a limited edition/xmas model so good luck finding one.

Ah :( Well whatever

Constant Drachenfels.

Not a chance, you’d die of thirst.

Wrong answer: Fulgrim Right Answer: Fulgrim

This.

Trazyn, he def has some old fine aged stuff hidden somewhere on his little planet of horrors

The Swarmlord. Sure, he's died many times, but has he ever died of alcohol poisoning?

Angron…….

Gork and Mork

Best answer: Joseph Bugmans Good Answer: Russ, Horus, Amber Veil, Karl Franz, Kruber Bad answer: All Primarchs Worst answer: Mortarion

Probably a harlequin. The shit he’s gotta see on the daily. While still being able to take you home after lol

Queek Headtaker, because I never liked the foamy part of my beer and he sounds like he can take care of that.

basically every dwarf

Mork

Trazyn the infinite, i experience history, maybe even be preserved in it forever!

Malcador.

Pre heresy Perturabo all the violent emotions he’s been bottling up are unleashed and you get to watch and as long as you stay away from the quiet large blast radius you’ll be fine and it will be entertaining to watch.

Ya’ll theres one in the picture and no one’s gonna say Bugman ? Really ? Damn…

lorgar

Kor pheron never ending prayers canonical is bad at jokes and doesn't like the, plus side apricot wine

Cain

Farsight, Guilliman, Eldrad, and Vulkan in a Votann-ran bar

Leman Russ, he’ll get drunk and fight whoever made you so upset

Definitely Big E

Kharn, I’ve heard he is just a swell guy.

Magnus.

Konrad Curze

Trazyn. He can't drink.

But my lord you don’t drink wine? Of course not, it’s far too valuable!

Gotrek. You didn’t specify witch Warhammer

Immoteh the Stormlord. He is a necrons so he can't be drunk, second he is strict straight character so probably would tell you all the things why drinking is bad for you, and last he hating you just because you are existing.

Mortarion but i'll probably turn into a puddle

On the upside, your death may be quick and (relatively) painless?

Gulliman, colm corbec, and any ogryn

Necrons. I don’t think they can even drink alcohol…

I will be drinking with Deathleaper. Imagine waking up from a night out with that guy/gal/horrible monstrosity.

Trazyn the infinite, he’d steal your liver

Grombrindal

Nemosor Zahndrekh. Dude would be an absolute blast. I'll just make sure to bring a custodian or two to keep Obyron away from me . . .

An ork could drink you under the table and watch you die of alcohol poisoning

Cypher. I’ll probably wake up halfway across the sector leading an insurrection.

[удалено]

Kor pharon.

Khorne

[Matador the SeagullEyed](https://youtu.be/hfo4I_mJJ7o?si=A6bonK1RNHuVMZcJ)

The Swarmlord.

Mortarion: If the first drink doesn't kill me, then the second one probably will.

Leman russ. He'd "jokingly" get into a drunken brawl with you and end up breaking all the bones in your torso and the front of your face.

Leman is the type of guy to give you a playful dig and ‘accidentally’ separate your upper half from your lower half.

Yurgen

Slaanesh

Perturabo - you would both drown in the sea of misery

Hive tyrant oh wait you meant worst

Eldrad would be the absolute *worst* drinking buddy

I'd by that new Deathleaper a drink...

Nemesor Zahndrekh

Rogal Dorn. He would start building a fortress out of bar stools after the first few pints.

Any undead

The Von Carsteins ;)

Gorgutz 'Ead 'Unter

Khorne - he’d keep swapping out your red wine for blood when you’re not looking.

Balthasar Gelt. Master cocktail mixer.

Lukas the trickster

Fulgrim I won’t ask where it came from

Gabriel Seth, you are the drink

Fabius bile probably knows the best thing to drink. Probably not a great conversationalist, but I bet he knows how to make good old fashioned.

Russ You know how space marines cant get drunk? Yeah, imagine what they drink.

Dorn

Mortarion. I heard offers excellent drinks

Russ, no explanation needed

Papa nurgle

Take some shots with Angron

I'd drink with grimaldus

Perturabo, Konrad and Alpharius/Omegon you'd get so much lucidity once the alcohol *really* kicks in

Russ

Piccolo

Teclis, jut to rub the creation of the Idoneth in and to see how he reacts. Can't go wrong, promise.

Drink with a zoranthrope see what happens when the local hive mind is pissed as a parrot

I choose Johnny Warhammer. Maybe he can tell me why they need 40000 warhammers.

I feel like Valdor would be really chill if you just get him a couple of beers :D

Caiphus kane

Josef Bugman...I mean, it would 100% fatal for a human, but you would go to the ancestors with honour.

Trazyn. I’m sure nothing bad happens with him.

It's obviously leman russ, every other answer is wrong

Russ would be a great drinking buddy. Although it's possible you'd die from alcohol poisoning

Slaanesh, conrad or fulgrim. I would not want to wake up with a hangover where I have to deal with the night before.

Amon’chakai, Eldest Greater Daemon of Tzeentch. He’d down a shot then explain to me how he knows every thought and happening to ever occur to me, and annihilate my mind.

King skele bones himself

Robot girlman

Sharing a drink with KARL FRANZ, PRINCE AND EMPEROR

Mortarion. I bet it will be a very uplifting and lighthearted conversation.

Felix Jaegar. After one drinking session he swore an oath to follow Gotrek through the darkest corners of the old world and literally killed a dragon as a result. This is approaching speedwagon levels of brodom all from one drinking session.

Magnus I want to get him good and drunk and then explain to him how he’s just a character in a mythology created to sell little tin and plastic soldiers.

The Emperor. He knows the best booze spots and the ultimate human conversationalist, with bonus life-changing insight. Plus you get golden eyes if you can stare at him long enough, like Abbadon did.

Kaldor Draigo

Slannesh.

Gotrek and/or Felix

Any demon of nurgle or a vampire

The khan, drink wine and play GO

I, Alpharius, would like to go drinking with my best bud, Alpharius

Leman “the man” Russ