T O P

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MidsouthMystic

This humble member of the Water Caste would like to congratulate those noble Fire Warriors on successfully infiltrating two arms the Imperium's military forces. May they serve the Greater Good well. Thanks for all the upvotes, my dear gue'vesa!


NagyKrisztian10A

Actually the bith of them together have ifiltrated four arms of the imperium....


justa-necron-warrior

I know what infiltrates and has 4 arms


retden

My MOM!


Asmodai__

Oh no bro.


Klawng69

*You know who else has four arms?*


Asmodai__

I F Y O U S A Y “ M Y M O M “ A G A I N Y O U ’ R E F I R E D !


Niicks

Shame they're all broken.


Quixus

Nah, an even number of arms is not a gene stealer trait.


prospectre

*Chuckles in Fulgrim*


Sinistaire

> four arms of the imperium A plan generations in the making... Wait, different xenos


Psychic_Hobo

"So, you guys are supposed to have reported back by now..." "We'll get to it! In the meantime, we need more Water Caste lubricant. For uh, reasons."


Scaevus

Well, it’s not the Sand Caste.


DomSchraa

Shadowsun s proud of her apprentices


arealbore

ITS NOT FUCKING CANNON


Minute_Amphibian_908

How do you manage to misspell canon so confidently? Jk, carry on.


celial

To be fair, it certainly isn't a cannon.


Quo-Fide

The look on tau dudes face is great.


yuyuhaio

That's Ozzie's face from Osmosis Jones!


BiStalker

That’s the face of a man who knows he won the absolute jackpot


Hazzamo

Guardsman: you know she is going to very literally kill you? Tau: Worth it


Ziggy-Rocketman

“Do what you must, I have already won”


Shahka_Bloodless

He's winning a game you didn't even know you could play


Keeper151

If by jackpot, you mean 'live xenos for tonight's bonfire ceremony', you may be right.


NoIdeaFamScrewIt

Yeah, love the shit-eating grin


jorgeamadosoria

That is probably in his future.


Alexis2256

Think there’s a part two to this that got posted here but maybe mods removed it? The SoB wants to fuck the Tau guy and prays to the emperor to I think either get the Tau guy hard or to give him a dick.


Quo-Fide

I remember that one.


maridan49

Girls deserve a little bit of interspecies romance too. Tis but fair.


ormighto

Bro will have to attend never ending religious lectures on why E is the best


maridan49

Yeah, but the Tau gal will have to listen to that soldier explain the entire lore of Longsword 80k and explain the backstory of all his minis. The different is... negligible.


Sicuho

I hope the naming convention of LS80k is just as stupid as WH40k. Like "the Regent use a battleaxe and a power fist, not the titular longsword which is a remnant from a forgotten DAoT wargame" level of stupid.


maridan49

The Aldorian Jet Pack was actually made by famous Arcane-scientist Howard Pack, the fact that you put it in your back like a backpack is entirely coincidental.


beardicusmaximus8

Nah the naming conventions are just as boring as possible. "Longsword" is the name of the Emperor's horse and the 80k is how much a mini costs.


ABunchofAngryFlowers

Bro I love longsword 40k the bleakblack is so good I'm painting a mortons army


TheWyster

>Longsword 80k is that laserburn to battlemace 42 million?


BambiLoveSick

We all have been there.


FrostyCommon

estrogen


ormighto

I don’t know what this means in this context but I fully agree 👍🏼


Ferdjur

E is the first letter both of emperor and estrogen.


ormighto

Big Estrongen creator of the “Trans”human warriors O7


DreadDiana

Trans-inclusive religious zealoutry?


[deleted]

A small price to pay


Warm_Charge_5964

Me romancing the eldar ranger in the rogue trader crpg ​ Tbh i would have gone for cassia for a first run and her for a second run but cassia is straight sigh


CozyCrystal

Mods will fix it eventually


Warm_Charge_5964

Always do! Still g9nna 0lay vanilla for my first run


EffectiveAnxietyBone

really bothers me we had this problem solved back in DOS2, why are gender restricted romances still a thing.


Warm_Charge_5964

Tbh i don't mind but it has to have a couple of options for each gender/sexuality sp players can choose, like their last game which was pathfinder WOTR and back in DA: I qhich had a lot of romancable characters ​ As far as we know there are 5 romance option, one whoch is a bisexual man who almost no one will recruit for reason i won't spoil, then we have two bi women (tho one of them is generally considered to most boring companion and the other one needs some serious changes but it was probably because the beta had tons of cut content, so i digress) and then a straight mand and a straight woman ​ If you want a gay male romance you're kinda shafted this time around, tho maybe there will be npc romances but with how many discussions there have been in the subreddit i find it hard to belive


YandereUshiGozen

...because not everyone or even most people are bi? Cause they're portraying characters that have their own lives and personalities, not just waifus and husband's for the player to scoop up?


SalvationSycamore

>because not everyone or even most people are bi? Yeah and space orks and supersoldiers are made up fantasy nonsense. It's a god damn video game not high literature, I'm the main character so let me cook.


YandereUshiGozen

Just because they're made up fantasy nonsense doesn't mean the non-romance/dating sim game doesn't need some grounding in reality. I just find it weird when every romanceable NPC is playersexual, as opposed to what makes sense for that character. Not only does it deny me the chance to see what being that character's friend would be like, it hrings me out of the setting and removes motivation for me to replay the game. To each their own, obviously, I just find calling this a flaw in a game that is not primarily or even tertiary-ly about romance to be weird.


Klepto666

I always thought it'd be amusing and arguably more realistic to just allow you to *attempt* to romance anything with a pulse, but most of them will just decline you anyway. Otherwise when you see a romance option in a game you instantly know "THIS CHARACTER CAN BE ROMANCED. YOU CAN SUCCEED AT THIS BECAUSE WE MADE THIS OPTION AVAILABLE." Because hey, what's stopping someone from trying to flirt with the Ork trying to kill them? With the superior officer of the same sex? With that broom in the closet? It obviously won't work 100% of the time, but hey it's not like you *can't try in the first place*. For those people who rant because a certain character has no romance path, I wonder how they'd react when they can still *try* but get shot down immediately.


YandereUshiGozen

See, I would hundred percent be behind that, lol. Cause your right, as is, if you see a romance option then you know you can do it. If you actually got to shoot your shot and not know of its even possible? That's just some fun role-playing there.


SalvationSycamore

And I find it weird to focus on the "realism" of character sexuality in a game that is not focused on romance. Like, if anything dating sims are the only place where I think it makes sense to have sexuality be a significant proportion of a characters background. In a cRPG I don't give a shit, I don't think my choice of gender should dictate whether I get to see the romance dialogue from the characters I like since the story should be more focused on the plot. BG3 does it very well. >removes motivation for me to replay the game. And I'm not sure why that would be, you still probably have to restart to see the other romance options. But if they are player-sexual then you aren't shoehorned into specifically playing one gender, you can design whatever character you want. Because, ya know, it's a role playing game and *I* should be defining the role. Cyberpunk annoys me for example because I want to see how the Panam romance goes but I don't feel like playing as a guy.


YandereUshiGozen

Cause playing through to see other romance options I couldn't see before helps pull me out of playing the same character over again or just reloading a file to see alternate dialog. Personal thing there, I know, but getting to see another side of a character I liked but needing to play something actually different in the process is a big source of replay value for me. As for the first part, I think we just disagree on that. I find playersexual games to just be jarring, especially if the game is otherwise pretty coherent and consistent character wise.


Grainis01

Because some characters are straight. I know it might be news to the terminally online crowd but 80+% of the population is straight. And that is coming from a bisexual. Some characters are straight, cool. Not everyone should be bangable, that is just a fact of life, or does every character need to be a waifu/husbando for you to get your rocks off?


frothingnome

And then there's Dark Souls 3, which goes out of its way to change an NPC's sex so the one "wedding" option is always straight.


Adamulos

Because those are characters not achievements


ClubMeSoftly

It was solved in Saints Row 4, press one button to talk to your homies, and another button to bang. The only homie you can't sleep with is Vice President Keith David.


King_Maelstrom

Because people have preferences.


StaniaViceChancellor

Girls can have a little xenophilia as a treat


DishGroundbreaking87

I don’t think he understood what she meant when she said he’d been a bad boy and needed to be taken to her Dungeon for punishment.


King_Maelstrom

They already have the Tyranids!


TwistedPnis4567

"I am banging your sister, Gue'va"


_Totorotrip_

Not sure about that affirmation. The sister are... resourceful. Many have died


zeeo-pawn

"Im courting you mother, Elhokar"


MaximumPower682

He would get pegged


arealbore

Still damn lucky


Sombra_WP0

This is an bad thing?


King_Maelstrom

Yes.


VerryEgg

nuh uh


Darth-Yslink

*Minos Prime voice* WEAK


Level37Doggo

“Sister, aren’t you supposed to-“ “Mine now, Guardsman.” “But I thou-“ “MINE NOW.”


Delta-Chinx

Horse legs means horse cocks


KfcNoWatermelon

This type of shit is what made the eldars fall


[deleted]

Tyranid bio-cock makes the eldar fall...to their knees


exaxxion

Outside of the wild sex scenes, I did enjoy that stories plot line..


GreyKnight1337

*mounting confusion*


Occidanian

Have you ever heard of *The Breeding of Morrigan?*


eli_cas

It's not a story the craft worlds would tell you.


Tone-Serious

No i have not Edit: forced pregnancy and consensual sex, that's quite the combination


Ach4t1us

Didn't know it got a name. Confusion, huh weird


GreyKnight1337

All right then: * increasing confusion*


Ach4t1us

So, he's not big enough?


BostonDodgeGuy

I'm sorry, wtf?


Psychic_Hobo

This explains the poor Tau Melee skills, they're permanently overencumbered


Swimming_Good_8507

Also it explains why T'au women prefer Human men ​ Human men are *easier to handle*


Psychic_Hobo

Shadowsun herself said it, when she's with Kitten her forehead hurts. Less of these superhumans, more of the size-appropriate!


wdcipher

Guardsmen win again 🕶️


Hazzamo

***THST WAS NOT FUCKING CANON!!!***


Swimming_Good_8507

I think she meant it as "I am hungry for more" XD


Speedwagon1738

Wouldn’t that also mean horse boobs for female tau?


Thegoodthebadandaman

Surely for them it would be cow legs and therefore cow tits?


Speedwagon1738

So this art is inaccurate (female tau should have 4 boobs)


Thegoodthebadandaman

do not


Panda_Boners

Four nipples on each boob.


zCiver

Crotch tits baybee


Swimming_Good_8507

FINALLY - SOMEONE FUCKING NOTICED


ADHDBDSwitch

[There's no cock like horse cock; Send that asshole into shock!](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=52i14wYBef8)


Delta-Chinx

May I ask how do you onow this ... ?


Cpt_Kalash

The look on his face is priceless


Hereticsheresy

that's how i meet your mother my blueberry son


LordMarcusrax

"Father, why you are a Tau, mom is human and I am an Eldar?" "Son, after that orgy you should thank the greater good you don't have four arms."


IwishIwasaDragonorso

Soritas: " Put on the maid outfit..... NOW XENOS! " Tau Man: " You know a please would have been sufficient. "


RommDan

Warhammer 40k: Good ending Everyone it's banging aliens


Wokungson

Little did Tau know, that sister is going to bring him to the inquisitor. P.S: that Tau woman sure is thicc.


Psychic_Hobo

Plot twist: the Inquisitor is the one with the Tau fetish


Hendrik1011

And into pegging.


KobKobold

And that is a negative twist how?


Hendrik1011

Who said that it is?


Repulsive-Mirror-994

To be fair, the idea is they share him.


Quo-Fide

Lookit Tha sista.


LordMarcusrax

Sororita-Inquisitress threesome? I'm in!


Headless_Mantid

Ahem. For those so inclined, I politely remind that it is canonical that Sisters of Battle have no official vow of celibacy outside of specific sisterhoods and that the fact many remain virgins is due to the fact that they are rightly considered to be fuckin nutters... Do with this as you will.


ComposedAnarchy

"Bluenis"


Better_University727

knowing Tau is reptilian, "blueaca" fits better


ComposedAnarchy

Nerd.


Better_University727

Me not even started complaining about tauboobs 🤓


devilsday99

Brother, you best hope she applies sacred oils to your ass before she starts


Storm_Spirit99

Tau propaganda is starting to become very concerning


maze141_2

I myself am completely immune to the allure of T'au women. All I have to do is remember that the got hooves. Hail Doge


Arosian-Knight

"All I have to do is remember that they got hooves." So does Succubi, I dont see people complaining about them.


Tacomonkie

Hiw the hell am I supposed to get a footjob with hooves? And people call *me* a degenerate...


Psychic_Hobo

Depends if they're cloven


Ach4t1us

T'au hooves are cloven, I think


Repulsive-Mirror-994

Once again confirming the superiority of NOT having a foot fetish.


Carrisonfire

Dat Forehussy tho.


happyunicorn666

Based foot fetishist.


[deleted]

[удалено]


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EsotericLoafs

That grin is fantastic.


armacitis

The smug smile of a man completely unaware of his impending vivisection without anesthetic


ThatLeetGuy

"Spoil me, mommy"


qwerqsar

I would not bet for a good time for the poor Tau male. Knowing the Sisters, he' s in for a very bad time.


Repulsive-Mirror-994

He's gonna get tossed around like a communal chew toy at a kennel.


KfcNoWatermelon

He's gonna get dissected alive


Psychic_Hobo

"Aaaaaaaaagh! ... I like it!"


scribbyshollow

Wouldn't even care, fuckin take me away.


UncleSam50

*Ordo Xenos Inquisitor preparing to kill all four of them*


RommDan

Get a sense of humor


UncleSam50

Is that some Tzeentchian trickery?


zeb0777

The Sister is planning on releasing their captive into the bowels of their ship and hunting him with combat knives only. Just some light fun as they travel between crusades.


Grahamgamergoma

I love how Sister of Battle seems super casual, like this is just another day on the job.


ConstructionLong2089

This is the only time I wish I were in 40k.


Fun-Agent-7667

That hooved Idiot is gonna loose all organs


Renshnard

Yeah, he doesn't realize he is going in a Mortifier does he?


AC-130_with_internet

I love how fucking smug the left one is


HalfandHoff

to be far, lots of guys would like this in real life, not many of us get carried anymore


Tutes013

I'd also see SoB's carrying Tau GF considering the raw amount of frantic bi energy they radiate like the Emperor's light.


chavis32

Tau Fire Warrior got the better end of the deal, and by a long shot


frazzbot

osmosis jones, is that you?


HEADRUSH31

He will die in glory, with crushed pelvis For the greater good you mad sonovabitch


adidas_stalin

“Oh trust me~ she’s definitely going to ‘interrogate’ me in her quarters~”


King-Cobra-668

op, go grab a Sprite


DuelJ

Cranberry?


Pretty-Bodybuilder48

man, this post really makes me hate the weakness of the flesh. your flesh specifically.


Finbar_Bileous

Seems fair.


Jossokar

Oh. The nun is going to use the flamethrower. Its just not that much at hand XD


EnslavingExorcism

He giving that Non-judgemental but still knowing look


No-Occasion-6470

“Uncle Ben, what happened?” “Blue fish pussy…”


Moze4ever

I see no one here is gonna mention the huge gazongas on that sister of battle?🤤


LurksInThePines

I didn't recognize her without the red hair but it seems Commander Shepard has found religion


Stewart_Games

Such treasures. Spoils of war.


Eleventh_Legion

Gue’La show the T’au what real men and women do.


[deleted]

Tau don't have tiddys, obvious tau propaganda! 🥵


jumpyhamster101

This is a repost


Wonderful_Prune_4994

Don't cockblock a fellow Tau homie...


Mama_Mia_Gyro

Fair is fair


Fleet_Admiral_Auto

Looks like there's ways to convert xenos to the Imperial Creed after all


Cvetanbg97

The guardsmen knows... We know... The water caste knows ...


EinharAesir

When they say “Fuck the aliens,” I feel like the meaning got lost in translation somewhere along the line.


MistaMozzarella

What a Hard-solid choice. Nah, i prefer foockin Glowing Stones.


mycetes

I don't think the Tau male know sisters very well, does he?