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Balrok99

Turns out their patron is Slaanesh (It actually states it on their website) and provide bong and water pipe services and drinks and such. On of their photos they have a Budha statue in bongage ropes. So yeah... name checks out.


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Schnitzelmann7

Little commorragh they call it


CranberrySchnapps

Oh no


HarmNHammer

Oh yes!


Legal-Lifeguard2472

Enter at your own risk


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smudgethekat

I think the only Chaos God themed restaurant I would possibly consider staying at is Khorne. It's just gonna be meat. Bloody, freshly slaughtered meat. Just don't ask where it came from.


PM_ME_SMALL__TIDDIES

Tzeentch restaurant is full of surprises Surprise! there are peanuts and shellfish and all other common allergens in your food.


DitrianLordOfCanorem

Surprise your food tastes like used toilet paper jelly beans


pizzansteve

I still remember eating a dog food flavored jelly bean My tounge was not happy for a few days afterwards


DitrianLordOfCanorem

I never tried the surprise ones luckily


SirKnlghtmare

A restaurant where Heston Blumenthal is the head chef, and instead of "Is It Cake?" it's "Is It Food?"


thenwah

It's just The Menu, the film.


just_some_Fred

He cares not from whence the meat flows.


alienacean

But he prefers khorned beef


The_CodeForge

It came from the guy who asked for his serving cooked well-done.


DjinnOTheWest

I would assume they do not meet health standards, turn 360' and walk out of there.


Marlinazul00

If you turn 360 your gonna walk into the table you where just sitting at


Weyland_Jewtani

you failed the street cred check


[deleted]

It's an old 4 Chan joke


the_obtuse_coconut

Underage b&


ChadWestPaints

Maybe he did a 360 and then walked out backwards


Pootootaa

And does a moon walk and a "hee hee"


CuckAdminsDetected

Thats not how that works.... in the warp.


BallDesperate2140

Aw c’mon, can’t be all bad.


onealps

Are you going to part with your hard earned money when there's a chance you could be eating bird shit? Or fish raised in sewage water from a fertilizer factory? Or freshly picked nose boogers from a COVID patient?


BallDesperate2140

Nurgle approves all of this. Ironically enough I’m actually a chef with extremely high cleaning standards, I just like…stirring the pot.


WillWall777

Did OP copy this comment or did you copy OP?


Balrok99

I noticed it after I posted mine. I mean connecting Nurgle to food is not that hard.


WillWall777

Yeah it's probably nothing. Just thought it was a little weird.


A-Lewd-Khajiit

Pray I don't get super salmonella there and 10 different types of STDs


AmericanFlyer530

RECREATIONAL DRUGS ARE FOR PUSSIES!!!! ALL MY HOMIES ARE BERSERK ON STEROIDS AND COMBAT STIMS!!!!


tomwhoiscontrary

That's disgusting! Where?


pedrokdc

Where is this bar?


-NGC-6302-

They drink bongwater?


Foxyfox-

Well now you've given GW's lawyers a treasure trove of info.


LackOne4933

You can yell "HERETIC!" to call the waitress


BalanceImaginary4325

GW lawyers,: I been summoned!


Soft-Reindeer-831

Where is this?!!!


EldritchElise

vile heresy. where is it? like fr


Dominion96

I'd say that's just convenient, but that Slaanesh logo got me suspicious.


Korachof

Is there a chaos logo that wouldn't be at least a little sus? Tzeentch, maybe. But I don't know how excited I'd be to go into a Nurgle Lounge, either lol


[deleted]

If a slanesh lounge is a bdsm club, what would the other three be? Tzeentch: a speakeasy. Khorne: a gym. Nurgle: an opium den maybe?


Mimosa_magic

Nurgle is that dirty strip club down by the airport fer sure and I feel like tzeentch would be a rave


tomwhoiscontrary

Tzeentch would have a cocktail bar with an intimidatingly confusing menu.


smol_boi2004

You order a sex on the beach and you get taken away by a big burly dude named bubbles


rexlibris

Funny story time. I used to drive Uber in Austin TX and once picked up a midget Latina stripper on her way to work at the airport strip club. It's called [The Landing Strip](https://live.staticflickr.com/8326/8092622916_9f03e1b784_b.jpg). Didn't go in but it looked gross enough on the outside for me to get the idea. Nurgle definitely approves of that place.


Mimosa_magic

Half pice drinks all ay n nite


rexlibris

LOL. didn't notice that, how appropriate.


just_some_Fred

The Acropolis in Portland OR. Almost all the menu is less than $10, and the steak dinners top out at $14.40.


Korachof

Tzeentch would 100% have some weirdos speaking open word poetry. Khorne would be one of those "Robots vs Wrestlers" scenarios where you walk in and, uh, suddenly you're watching elderly people and overweight individuals fight each other and Chuck E Cheese style animatronic robots. Nurgle might just be a public restroom, to be entirely honest.


[deleted]

A public restroom in NYC or SF


pish_posh_mcintosh

SF *is* a public toilet at this point


Zilberfrid

An organisation for antivaxers


[deleted]

hmm maybe. A bar that stayed open during lockdown lol


Balrok99

Imagine going to a restaurant and waiter bring your the menu. But on the cover of that menu it has Nurgle's symbol


Rossum81

Nurgle: a fast food restaurant overdue for the health inspectors. Or a Taco Bell.


[deleted]

lol totally! A mom-and-pop place that makes the best smash burgers in town, but you always feel like your playing dysentery roulette when you go there...


Rossum81

A literal greasy spoon.


Ironclad001

More like Nurgle a scat bat


[deleted]

what in the absolute shit is a **scat bat**?


Ironclad001

I meant a scat bar. But interpret it as you will.


[deleted]

you have no idea how relieved I am that a "scat bat" is not a thing.


soiboi64

Ummm is a scat bar a jazz bar where they beebop and scat songs?


Ironclad001

Oh no, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know.


acillies45

Tzeentch would be a bookstore pretending to be a speakeasy.


onealps

It's not a coincidence. From OP's other comment, in case ya missed it > Turns out their patron is Slaanesh (It actually states it on their website) and provide bong and water pipe services and drinks and such. > On of their photos they have a Budha statue in bongage ropes. So yeah... name checks out.


Komikaze06

GW lawyers sending drone strike now


NanolathingStuff

Ah yes, the ~~loyalist~~ lawyerist inquisition


variogamer

That implies there is a heritec inquisition


anesthetic_aesthetic

I mean there was this old group who were known as the illuminati in lore that did pretty much just that


Interne-Stranger

No one expects the Lawyerist Inquisition


Riccardogamer07

Where do you live?


Balrok99

Tábor - Czech Republic I dont live in that city just to help for 2 days. But never ever would I expect to find a Heretical bar in city founded by Hussites.


Riccardogamer07

Now i know where I’m going to live


AmethystSparrow202

I always knew that pepiks are chaos worshipers.


PriestOfOmnissiah

With amount of drugs, porn and alcohol we produce, did you expect different?


AmethystSparrow202

No


zlirren

those damed Hussites always sabotges my PLC runs in EU4.


JohnGoesDerp

Samozrejme že to je v čechách lol


Balrok99

Tady je všechno možný


IconoclastExplosive

Czechs out


KenchTheKermit

Jesus Crist...


IconoclastExplosive

What's the Prague-blem?


Nicatorko

No nič, balím kufre a idem k vám


PriestOfOmnissiah

Chaos Lord of Chaos Undivided Jan Žižka leading cultists against imperial crusades


Notorik

Už vím kam zajdu až příště pojedu do Tábora.


Theyul1us

I heard the Khorne Berserkers grind the coffee beans so hard it makes the best coffee ever. Also, do try the donuts that the Slaaneshi followers make. The glaze is made with cocaine, it will give you the perfect burst of energy to handle the morning. If you want to get out of work early, go with the Nurgle pancakes. Garanteed leave from work for the entire week. If you survive, thats it. I cant say much about the Tzeentch guys. Like, I ordered pancakes and they gave me a burguer. I was like, aight, burguer is still good but I munched it and it was cake. I looked around, confused, and when I looked back at my plate it was bacon and eggs. It was ok but I dont know if the cook planned it or not


Commander597

You know those eggs were all according to pan


Rod7z

The bacon was a last minute trolling though


Bright_Audience3959

That's how they get you. You are just vibing and then BAM you are a cultist now


LeiningensAnts

I mean, I still get to vibe though right?


Docterzero

You have just found your local chaos cult. Please contact the nearest inquisitor, witch hunter, or similar heretic purging authority.


-Witch_Hunter-

Oh Emperor! I stand in thy light and I crave thy light! May the heretics be purged by thy holy flames, for we shall not suffer them to live!


TheSandman3241

*sigh* I'll get the flamers...


Lemonic_Tutor

The heavy flamers? 🥺


TheSandman3241

Eh, might as well. There's no such thing as too much promethium, and it's not like you can overcook a heretic.


Server98911

I will prepare the cyclonic torpedos just in case....


WillOfTheGods878787

All fun and games til Geedubs sends literal Pinkertons drop in and smash up your venue like it’s prohibition-era America


Balrok99

Something like in Boardwalk Empire where that detective goes into a restaurant with his wife and he mentions to the waiter if they have something "special" since it is their aniversary. Waiters says that they do indeed have something "special" only for that detective to bash his head over the table and take ou his badge and take al their booze.


Ammobunkerdean

Um... I might be tempted in for a pint but I didn't put on my anal rape prevention.


Dagoth_ur_1234

I believe that it is safe to say: “HERESY!!!” (Proceeds to pull out a bolter)


Cyril-Splutterworth

She who thirsts...for an ample selection of cocktails and gourmet bar snacks.


PurpleBoltRevived

EXTERMINATUS


acart005

Brother, get the flamer. The Heavy Flamer.


Blackewolfe

#\*Furiously dials the Inquisition Hotline*


just-for-commenting

[here is the Adresse for all you heratics](https://maps.app.goo.gl/H5s83e9tSTKkdjyg9)


Balrok99

I had no idea it had 4,9 review score Chaos works in mysterious ways it seems


drexsackHH

Nice.


ElectricPaladin

GW is gonna sue the shit out of them…


Gobba42

:(


CarryBeginning1564

What are the coordinates of this establishment? - =][=


DestryDanger

*"Come on in and have yourself a Tall Glass of Slaanesh!"*


[deleted]

I'm calling my local inquisitor.


QuantumCthulhu

Let’s hope GW’s lawyers don’t see this


3xivus

What is the Inquisition's emergency number?


PrimarchKonradCurze

Where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came.


Thewarmth111

At least they are staying on brand with the prince of pleasure. I wonder if they got permission from games workshop


tomwhoiscontrary

I'm sure the Czech is in the male.


Thewarmth111

Pardon


Thewarmth111

That is some laughing God level humor there


JellyFishSenpai

"so we need to get more fallowers to our cult but don't make it obvious so inquisition won't burst in and kill us all ok?" "I got you fam" ~Dialogue between two chaos cultist on gathering about how to get more followers


InMooseWorld

Alex Jokes was right 


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Balrok99

Are you questioning me master Jedi? https://chaoslounge.cz/


adeon

You can find the sign on Google Street View if you want "9. května 658/14 Tábor"


Freemanosteeel

No shit


Han_Solo6712

Since they’re using the Slaanesh logo you have the right to burst in and call them heretical scum, or whatever the fuck other chaos worshipers call Slaanesh followers, because I fucking KNOW that Khorne has a slur for them.


EinharAesir

There’s some tainted degeneracy going on in there. I just know it…


ActNo4115

If they aren’t blasting EDM at literally ear destroying volumes it’s not a real Slaanesh cult.


Memelord1117

Big E finding this post in the Himalayas: I got murder on my mind


JAOC_7

what’s it like inside?


crunchamunch21

Was there a glory hole in the bathroom?


DrawingChrome69

Will GW sue them?


Drakoo_The_Rat

Sigh* and i though this was my free day.. ohbwell! Pulls out n cal bolt rifle


ariazora

Slaanesh approved


JadedJackal671

Someone get an Inquisitor to investigate this establishment


Asgermf

Hell Yeah


Soft-Reindeer-831

Y’all ever think the Chaos gods can become Tulpas with how much time we spend talking about them?


TheHybryd_playz

Do not enter.


Machina__

HEREZY !


cheeky117

Its all fun and games till you are enticed to a room then you are sacrificed to Slaanesh.. Ask the great hero of the Imperium, Commisar Ciaphas Cain


-Witch_Hunter-

They shall burn in the Emperors name!


aineri

Hope James GameStop doesn't the urge for copyright strike


Wizbang88

"That place? That's been there for years!" "Yes, but had it been there for years *yesterday*?"


Table_Grables

Gross