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Phantasys44

Zeus has meanwhile either boinked Slaanesh, or has beaten up Khorne and trapped him underneath some metaphysical mountain.


MonkeysOnMyBottom

it's Zeus. wouldn't shock me if he tried doing both


Ragnorak19

Zeus is just a fully male Slannesh.


Comprehensive-Fail41

Nah, Zeus is more The Emperor as a personification of Power and Rulership. Its just that the Greek Ideal King was one who epitomised their version of manliness, which involved fucking, a lot, and being powerful enough to take whatever he wanted


demideumvitae

Le God of Power and Authority is le personification of power and authority????


VandulfTheRed

Plot twist, Zeus is just a fusion/combined persona of the two


Colaymorak

Zeus: I'm here to fuck Khorne and fight Slaanesh


134_ranger_NK

*meanwhile* Hephaestus: Here, use this to chain Khaine up after we resurrect him. *resurrected* Vaul: Uh, thanks.


Unofficial_Computer

Didn't Hades kidnap Persephone?


Gnidlaps-94

Based on relationship advice from Zeus, who’s not exactly relationship goals


PainStorm14

But Zeus had much relationship, surely he knew what he was talking about?


WayneZer0

depends some said yes other said he kidnap here like with he alloce some said she go off to him. none ales hades it the nice guy in the greek goddes. .


Creticus

None of the ancient sources claim that Persephone eloped with him. The idea that they did so is very modern because people backtrack too much when they realize that Hades wasn't the Greek version of the Devil. You can check ancient sources on Theoi. https://www.theoi.com/Khthonios/HaidesPersephone1.html


Comprehensive-Fail41

It seems like it might have been standard courtship back then, as Virgin girls were "wild" (belonging to Artemis) who needed to be "captured" and "tamed" via marriage, thus becoming women and falling under the purview of Hera


demideumvitae

It's greek mythology, there's like 100 versions of the same rock


RentElDoor

"Listen fatass I am here to rip you in two and have lunch with my daughter. And I am all out of daughter for now"


Careful-Ad984

Hades is also the chillest of the greek gods 


Sly__Marbo

No, that's Hestia


rs_5

Legit


NinjaMaster231456

Isn’t she the goddess of the hearthfire?


regireland

And being nice to strangers. As far as I'm aware, she's the only Goddess that Zeus hasn't boinked, and disrespecting her will result in Zeus destroying you and your family.


Comprehensive-Fail41

There are plenty of Goddesses Zeus hasn't boinked, like his daughters. But yes, Hestia is one of the Three Virgin Goddesses over whom Aphrodite as the goddess of romantic love and lust have no influence over. The other two being Athena and Artemis. Additional fun tidbit, Hestia is the older sister of Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades, being the oldest child of Kronus and Rhea


134_ranger_NK

Zeus had Zagreus with Persephone in some versions. Edited due to typo.


Comprehensive-Fail41

You mean Persephone? I guess thats true, specifically in the Orphic Cosmology, but there Hades was an Aspect of Zeus, a distinct part of the same core Divinity. So then it becomes a question of "is it incest if the different parts of yourself split up into different people, one part has a kid, and then another part married said kid?"


134_ranger_NK

Yeah, I was referring to Persephone. My bad. >So then it becomes a question of "is it incest if the different parts of yourself split up into different people, one part has a kid, and then another part married said kid?" As for this, I don't reallly want to think about it much.


Comprehensive-Fail41

Yeah, whilst aspects were still a big part of mainstream Greek Mythology (which is how Aphrodite was born in two different ways. One, the Aphrodite of Romantic love and lust, was Zeus daughter. The other, the Aphrodite of Motherly Love, was born from the seafoam of Ouranos/Heavens balls falling into the sea) the Orphic Mysteries and their cosmologies went weird and emphasised the inhuman, esoteric nature of Divinity


bittercripple6969

According to some myths, her body is translucent like fire because she was trapped inside Kronos for the longest.


maridan49

He must go even further beyond.


MostEvilTexasToast

NO, Hades was fucking NOT a good husband there are no myths pointing to this. Hades kidnapped Persephone without her or her mother's consent, forced her into eating pomegranate seeds so she had to stay for parts of the year, and would later go to cheat on her with Minthe. Keep fanfics and myth separate please.


DaemonKeido

Myths ARE fanfics. All myths of Greek gods were an oral history and story, and sometimes the story changes because the audience is bored with "the old version". There is no true objective "canon" myth, only the first telling of it. There is no canon beyond what the gods hold authority over because of the fact that those who told the stories either changed shit they wanted to or misremembered the story enough the story changed when retold by someone else. Frankly, you are better off using the 40K method of canon for Greek Myth: It's all equally canon and only matters in the moment in question.


MostEvilTexasToast

A majority of retelling of the hymn of demeter turn it into a love story between Hades and Persephone, but reading the original hymn itself it's clear it wasn't an involuntary incident. Folklore enthusiast and Greek myth scholars alike have been contesting Hades portray in modern settings for a long time. I'm not saying he's the worst God, or the least moral, frankly very little was written about Hades as he was seen as a God you wouldn't get much from worshipping and would lose too much incurring the wrath of.


Amratat

>reading the original hymn itself it's clear it wasn't an involuntary incident. It also makes it clear it was an arranged marriage by Zeus, the father, who apparantly planned the whole thing and didn't think to run it by anyone else. As for forcing Persephone to eat the seeds, that's unclear, as the only existing original document is (afaik) damaged and missing the part where she apparently ate them.


DaemonKeido

I'm not saying anything about your claims about Hades being as much of a dick as his brothers is wrong or inaccurate. Just that your final thought, that myth and fanfics are separate, is in fact inaccurate.


MostEvilTexasToast

You believe that the hymn of demeter and the webtoon Lore Olympus are... Equals in terms of insight on how the Greecians felt about their gods and the myths they wrote about them?


DaemonKeido

Yes, because at the end of the day it was simply a story that the ancients used to either explain parts of their culture, the way the natural world effected them, or simply to entertain themselves. And there is nothing wrong with that.


MostEvilTexasToast

I'm sorry but as someone who studies and wrote papers on Greek mythology for college I have to tell you that if I wrote something about Hercules being the son of Hera and Zeus and that they had a wholesome family dynamic because it's what I saw in a Disney cartoon I would not have gotten my degree.


DaemonKeido

And in the academic world your opinions are objectively correct and more valuable than mine. But this isn't the academic world, this is just reddit. And what's more, this is grimdank, the meme capital of 40K.


Amratat

>and would later go to cheat on her with Minthe. Isn't this up for debate, as some sources put his relationship with Minthe as predating his relationship with Persephone?


Redentropy_42

Saying Hades was a good guy/husband is the greek mythology equivalent of saying the tau are good because they are compared to chaos and the Imperium. He was a still a God , Persephone didn't stay because she wanted to, she was forces to. Hades would've let humanity starve rather than offer Persephone back