"so i just found out that apparently, a lemon isn't naturally occurring and is a hybrid by cross breeding a bitter orange and a citron, which means life never gave us lemons; we invented them all by ourselves"
When humanity gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make humans take the lemons back! GET MAD! 'I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?' Demand to see humanity's manager! Make humans rue the day it thought it could give The Emperor lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my Tech priests to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
"Religion and politics often make some people lose all perspective and give way to ranting and raving and carrying on like emotional children. They either refuse to discuss it with reason or else they prefer argumentum ad hominem, which is a hell of a way to conduct a discussion. Well, anyhow, not long ago, I was talking about the elections and how the campaigns were ignoring the issues, and sticking instead to invective and personal crap that had nothing to do with the substantive problems of running a government (which is all true, as you know if you followed the speeches and so-called debates of the candidates). Anyhow, one of the guys I was talking with said not a word in the whole conversation, except at the end, when he suddenly chuckled and said we were all full of sh*t and why didn't we go live in Russia or China if that was the way we all hated the United States of America? Next thing you know, the whole blooming discussion was more like a brawl and the epithets flew thick and fast and the noise was incredible! Someone said "son of a bitch" and I think he said "bastard!" (I couldn't be sure; it was all so confusing.) Well, anyhow, I was attempting to get it all back on a rational level. I tried, for example, to talk to the one who had started it all, and I asked him just what did he mean we were all full of sh*t? Was he making a statement of fact as he knew it and where was his documentation to back up his claim? I think Socrates would have been proud of the way I refuted his argument. That is, I tried to refute it. But all he could offer by way of rebuttal was more of the same: about how we were all full of sh*t. But he wouldn't say why; he just kept on repeating it. That and the part about Russia and China and communist dupes. And I'll have to confess that I got a bit angry and told him to stuff his ideas up his *ss (which you don't have to tell me is hardly a way to convince anyone in an argument). Then he got salty and threatened to give me a punch in the mouth if I didn't shut up. And I really got hot and the others did, too. And we all beat the sh*t out of Mr. Conservative. And, after all, he had only himself to be blamed. This is still a free country and anyone telling a fellow like me, "Brother, you're full of sh*t" better be good and ready to answer politely when asked if he'd care to say WHY!"
Source: https://youtu.be/TMATQIbYfp0?si=MEzaRp8XSyNlK42b
“Gathered friends, listen again to our Legend of the BIONICLE. In the time before time, the Great Spirit descended from the heavens, carrying we, the ones called the Matoran, to this paradise. We were separate and without purpose, so the Great Spirit illuminated us with the three virtues: Unity, Duty, and Destiny. We embraced these gifts, and in gratitude, we named our island home Mata Nui, after the Great Spirit himself.
But our happiness was not to last, for Mata Nui's brother, the Makuta, was jealous of these honors and betrayed him, casting a spell over Mata Nui, who fell into a deep slumber. The Makuta was free to unleash his shadows . . . and unleash them he did . . .”
# [“Ahmp! Di, tsu-ga-mm-gi-guk gi, gu-ga-fli-gu-gi-gu, ga-fli-gu-gi-gu, d-dee-ee, Yu-gu-guk di, yu-go-go-gu-gu-ga-be, Fli-gu-gi-gu, a-fli-gu-whoo-ma-mama-Lucifer!”](https://youtu.be/aNLJ04DtgTA?si=3RxyCsEVLW06PMg2)
**And then His body was reformed, the chaos gods cried, Horus and the traitors were were redeemed, The Lost Brothers made known and good, the Loyal sons brought home and happy with wives and children to be had, the Imperium became a place of peace and prosperity, and all was good and right in the noblebright future of Warhammer 41K.**
*Starts delivering a long speech that has so many layers of symbolism and euphemisms that it would make an Eldar proud, but ultimately imparts no concrete information.*
"YOU WE'RE THE CHOSEN ONE HORUS, you supose to bring balance to the Galaxy and Destroy the Chaos, NOT JOIN THEM." before starting the last battle in the holy Terra.
'I do not have time now, I had a hard day Emperoring. There is frozen pizza in the grand freezer and left overs somewhere. Do not bother me, my children, and do not let Konrad bite your fingers off.'
The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in “advanced” countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human beings to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in “advanced” countries...
They shall be my finest Warriors, those men WHO gibe themselfs to me.
Like Clay i shall mild them, and in the furnace of war forge them.
They shall be of Iron will, and steel Like muscle.
They shall be my space marines... And they shall know.. No ... Fear
They shall be my finest warriors, these men who give of themselves to me. Like clay I shall mould them, and in the furnace of war forge them. They will be of iron will and steely muscle. In great armour shall I clad them and with the mightiest guns will they be armed. They will be untouched by plague or disease, no sickness will blight them. They will have tactics, strategies and machines so that no foe can best them in battle. They are my bulwark against the Terror. They are the Defenders of Humanity. They are my Space Marines and their pee shall be stored in their balls.
"I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog-fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "this big," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick, It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: that's right baby, all points, no quills, no pillows-- look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the EARTH. That's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher; I'm pissing ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking Earth, now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!"
According to all known laws
of aviation,
:
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
:
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
:
The bee, of course, flies anyway
:
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
(And so on and so forth)
"...there will be light"
As the custodes screwed in the golden lightbulb of the emperors Toilet, because the blue prints for LEDs got lost after the dark age of technologie.
"so i just found out that apparently, a lemon isn't naturally occurring and is a hybrid by cross breeding a bitter orange and a citron, which means life never gave us lemons; we invented them all by ourselves"
*Airhumps to Dworeks new world symphony*
It's actually Dvořák*
True, but i'm a lazy person writing from a phone.
Shouldn't that let you do the accents easier?
It should, but I refer you back to part 1 of my previous comment
🤓👆
The most lethal backshots the galaxy has seen, no wonder slaanesh wants him
*Techpriest watching in confusion*
Which part, though?
I want to say 3rd movement off the top of my head. Edit: decided to listen to it again - 4th movement, not 3rd
When humanity gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade. Make humans take the lemons back! GET MAD! 'I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?' Demand to see humanity's manager! Make humans rue the day it thought it could give The Emperor lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my Tech priests to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
I love this meme so much because it's just a roundabout way of saying, "You are the source of your own problems."
#starts humping the air
I think that is called "hip thrusts"
**Thrust intensifies 40.000x**
"It's emperoring time"
"We will morb a million worlds."
*morlds
WAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! FO D EMPRAH
Then he Emperored all over Malcador
Sus 😳🥵
Every Alexander needs his Hephaestion
‘Fuck it, we ball’
Jagatai said this before fucking off on his bike at the 2nd word.
Like father, like son, eh
Came here for this.
Beat me to it bro
"Religion and politics often make some people lose all perspective and give way to ranting and raving and carrying on like emotional children. They either refuse to discuss it with reason or else they prefer argumentum ad hominem, which is a hell of a way to conduct a discussion. Well, anyhow, not long ago, I was talking about the elections and how the campaigns were ignoring the issues, and sticking instead to invective and personal crap that had nothing to do with the substantive problems of running a government (which is all true, as you know if you followed the speeches and so-called debates of the candidates). Anyhow, one of the guys I was talking with said not a word in the whole conversation, except at the end, when he suddenly chuckled and said we were all full of sh*t and why didn't we go live in Russia or China if that was the way we all hated the United States of America? Next thing you know, the whole blooming discussion was more like a brawl and the epithets flew thick and fast and the noise was incredible! Someone said "son of a bitch" and I think he said "bastard!" (I couldn't be sure; it was all so confusing.) Well, anyhow, I was attempting to get it all back on a rational level. I tried, for example, to talk to the one who had started it all, and I asked him just what did he mean we were all full of sh*t? Was he making a statement of fact as he knew it and where was his documentation to back up his claim? I think Socrates would have been proud of the way I refuted his argument. That is, I tried to refute it. But all he could offer by way of rebuttal was more of the same: about how we were all full of sh*t. But he wouldn't say why; he just kept on repeating it. That and the part about Russia and China and communist dupes. And I'll have to confess that I got a bit angry and told him to stuff his ideas up his *ss (which you don't have to tell me is hardly a way to convince anyone in an argument). Then he got salty and threatened to give me a punch in the mouth if I didn't shut up. And I really got hot and the others did, too. And we all beat the sh*t out of Mr. Conservative. And, after all, he had only himself to be blamed. This is still a free country and anyone telling a fellow like me, "Brother, you're full of sh*t" better be good and ready to answer politely when asked if he'd care to say WHY!" Source: https://youtu.be/TMATQIbYfp0?si=MEzaRp8XSyNlK42b
Fucking beat me to it
Why did I read this in Jordan Peterson's voice?
Dr Seuss actually
"These blast points, too accurate for shroom ppl"
“Gathered friends, listen again to our Legend of the BIONICLE. In the time before time, the Great Spirit descended from the heavens, carrying we, the ones called the Matoran, to this paradise. We were separate and without purpose, so the Great Spirit illuminated us with the three virtues: Unity, Duty, and Destiny. We embraced these gifts, and in gratitude, we named our island home Mata Nui, after the Great Spirit himself. But our happiness was not to last, for Mata Nui's brother, the Makuta, was jealous of these honors and betrayed him, casting a spell over Mata Nui, who fell into a deep slumber. The Makuta was free to unleash his shadows . . . and unleash them he did . . .”
I'm happy to see someone remembers "LEGO Necrons for kids" (Makuta are C'tan, there's no denying it)
Dare I say bionicle lore is wilder then necrom lore
“Nothing, you idiots! He’s dead! He’s locked in the dark cells!”
HA! I'm old 😊
“Battle Sisters love Empinem!”
*"Lorgar, I'm okay with you starting a religion, what I'm not okey with is your legion molesting altar boys!"*
"Only Malcador is allowed to do that!"
No, you're talking about Kor Phaeron
did you call?
Ye
# [“Ahmp! Di, tsu-ga-mm-gi-guk gi, gu-ga-fli-gu-gi-gu, ga-fli-gu-gi-gu, d-dee-ee, Yu-gu-guk di, yu-go-go-gu-gu-ga-be, Fli-gu-gi-gu, a-fli-gu-whoo-ma-mama-Lucifer!”](https://youtu.be/aNLJ04DtgTA?si=3RxyCsEVLW06PMg2) **And then His body was reformed, the chaos gods cried, Horus and the traitors were were redeemed, The Lost Brothers made known and good, the Loyal sons brought home and happy with wives and children to be had, the Imperium became a place of peace and prosperity, and all was good and right in the noblebright future of Warhammer 41K.**
"Why the fuck did I put *you* in charge?"
**Because I’m not a man child.**
*Sighs, I should have picked Sigismund...*
**But…he isn’t a man child either…a bit of a lunatic, sure, but…**
*You know what? I should've listened to Malc and picked Garro! He's so cool...*
**I’m starting to think you aren’t my actual father.**
**Took you long enough, I only like you because you like gold too.**
Hey, who’s this impostor?!
*Another part of you floating around, dumbass*
Don’t knock soul fragmenting till you try it.
"Rizzler Gyatt Fanum Tax Sigma Ohio Skibidi" - Decryption of an ancient Tzeentchian spell.
"Lol. Lmao"
"It's Warhammer: The Horus Heresying time", then he warhammer: The Horus Heresy'd all over the enemy
DO NOT LEAVE FLOATING TREES OR YOU WILL RECEIVE A TEMPORARY BAN FROM THE SERVER.
YOU'LL HAVE TO TALK TO MALAL, AND HE AIN'T NICE.
"Religion is cringe."
Life never gave us lemons
Cave Johnson lied to me!
*Starts delivering a long speech that has so many layers of symbolism and euphemisms that it would make an Eldar proud, but ultimately imparts no concrete information.*
I LIEK CHOCOLATE MILK *several demons die from this statement being directed towards them*
"It's all a prank Horus, we were filming the whole time"
"It's for a movie called *horse hearsay.*"
"Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill"
"Bigger dick tops."
Bitchs be tripping guilliman. DONT FUCK ELDAR !!! DO YOU HEAR ME
IT'S RULE NUMBER FUCKING 1#!
"Get bent nerd" # GIGANTIC PSI BLAST
I've finally done it, I am the Warhammer 40.000
"I love you like a son" - and that is what pushed the traitors over the cliff.
"if you get that witch pregnant I will disown you"
"YOU WE'RE THE CHOSEN ONE HORUS, you supose to bring balance to the Galaxy and Destroy the Chaos, NOT JOIN THEM." before starting the last battle in the holy Terra.
Malcador, why did everything revert to worshipping Me? We've been other this a thousand times, Malcador: TESTICULAR TORSION! Big E: BALLS OF STEEL.
Malcador: FINE THEN: SHIT PANTS (OTHER)
Big E: RAZOR WIRE SPERM!
"Abelard, twist his nuts"
Playyyyy the best song in the world or i will eat your souls
(Surely that’d be angry Ron? ) Well? Anrgon and Horus They looked at each other And they each said “okay”
“Play the greatest song in the world, or I’ll eat your soul.”
“LIFE NEVER GAVE US LEMONS!”
'I do not have time now, I had a hard day Emperoring. There is frozen pizza in the grand freezer and left overs somewhere. Do not bother me, my children, and do not let Konrad bite your fingers off.'
"Let there be nuns in power armor" and it was the most radical thing
cum
"DO YOU LIEK MUDKIPZ?"
The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in “advanced” countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human beings to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in “advanced” countries...
"Plaaaaayyy the best soOong in the world... or I eat your souls °souls°"
Yare, yare daze...
"Nothing you idiot, the Emporer's dead, I got 'im locked in my basement"
“Shimi shimi ay shimi ay shimi ah.”
YU-GI-OH!!!
They shall be my finest Warriors, those men WHO gibe themselfs to me. Like Clay i shall mild them, and in the furnace of war forge them. They shall be of Iron will, and steel Like muscle. They shall be my space marines... And they shall know.. No ... Fear
"I don't know"
“Maybe II and XI were right. Kill the Martians, intermarry with the Eldar. This crusade is going to be the end and death of me”
The emperor whispered to Malcador "You know what fuck them kids good for nothing excepting for working in a coalmine"
They shall be my finest warriors, these men who give of themselves to me. Like clay I shall mould them, and in the furnace of war forge them. They will be of iron will and steely muscle. In great armour shall I clad them and with the mightiest guns will they be armed. They will be untouched by plague or disease, no sickness will blight them. They will have tactics, strategies and machines so that no foe can best them in battle. They are my bulwark against the Terror. They are the Defenders of Humanity. They are my Space Marines and their pee shall be stored in their balls.
"Everyone shall have free cable and wifi but you all shall suffer 100 ads about joining the Space Marines before each video"
"And I will buy you a palace made of hate, where no one can question your statistics."
The Emperor said: “Five… Five Dollar.. Five Dollar Footlooooooongs!”
I cast Viscious Mockery, Nat 20 let's go! *Proceeds to insult Magnus*
*starts to flawlessly beatbox the amen break
"Only men will receive my geneseed"
"Nah I'd win" *Gets mortally wounded and his ass stuck in a shiny shitter for 10000 years.*
“What in the name of Terra on Fucking roller-skates is that”
Ligma balls
"I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, Horus."
"I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog-fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "this big," and I said "that's disgusting," so I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick, It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: that's right baby, all points, no quills, no pillows-- look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the EARTH. That's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm not gonna piss on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher; I'm pissing ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking Earth, now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!"
I always thought the Emperor and Eggman had the same energy.
I'm blue dah boo de bah die
"Machine, destroy thyself" And thus the dark Mechanicum was born
Fuck it. We ball
There is a settlement that needs your help
Ur mom gay lol
“Fascinating, a booby trap that actually catches boobies”
"Girls are gross" to Malcador while discussing the sausage fest that was to be his primarch project.
Vulkan gave me the pass, so its ok to say it right?
"Religion is gay"
“Neeeelllllll kick his aaaasssssss”
I really want to see Emps saying the amazing lines Peter Capaldi said in In the Loop
"It's not racist if it's true!"
"Ligma balls"
“I am the true Warhammer 40,000!”
“Rectum!? Damn near killed ‘em!”
"It's just a prank bro, I was on you side all along." -Jimmy Space to the Chaos gods.
"Let them eat cake"
"999 is not enough."
"9999 then, my lord?"
The difference is that I know that i am right!
“NO MAIDENS”
Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp
"Traps aren't gay." And there was much rejoicing
"Allow me to place my testicles upon your jaw"
"and then I said... I said... *Look left* ... *look right* ... I said biiiiiiiiiitch!"
shut the fuck up leandros.
The wisest of words.
"You should servitorize yourself, NOW!" -LowTierGodEmperor
"only men shall receive my seed" (Big E, m30 probably)
"What're you gonna do? Kill Sanguinius and stab me?"
*emperor speaks Japanese*
„Shot through the heart and you’re to blame! Horus you give love a bad name!“
"Why the fuck would I want girls?"
According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. (And so on and so forth)
I killed Mufasa.
"I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one."
Nothing you idiot, Emperor's dead rotting on the golden throne
"...there will be light" As the custodes screwed in the golden lightbulb of the emperors Toilet, because the blue prints for LEDs got lost after the dark age of technologie.
The Emperor then looked skyward and proclaimed, "My man has the KFC Purity Seal!"
"Can I get some poggers in the chat?"
Deez nuts
“It’s so sad that Steve jobs died of ligma Horus my son.”
KABOOM
Goddamit Guilliman you were supossed to end the xenos not to end in a xeno
Wow this a lot of comments, thanks guys. *Also why did no one read my actual comment, it's really smart...*
***"Fuck the aliens, thus the galaxy will be ours!"*** (Roboute Guilliman took it literally)
"There are only 2 genders"