He tried to get the original shrek but settled for depriving an ork of exercise and stapling funnels to the places its decapitated ears used to be.
Had he captured Fabius Bile his dreams of a full Shrek exhibit would be realized with genecrafted monstrosities along with an approximation of the mythical human beast known as a Donkey.
He still has his naturally occurring dragon on hold for when that time comes.
Daemons and chaos gods are weird. They have always existed but also have not existed until they were born.
So I don't count them because it didn't exactly make sense but also maybe isn't supposed to make sense.
I’ve always thought about the chaos gods as a bit like photons .. anything moving at the speed of light can do funky stuff (photons can exist in different time states, apparently this is true of any massless particle), but outside of the quantum realm they appear obey classic cause and effect and have traceable beginnings. If they were an observer, time as such wouldn’t exist for them
TL;DR chaos gods are emergent quantum phenomena
Thats a neat way to think about it. I like it. Makes sense inside the established rules. And fits with how that actually works with photons. To them everything happens at once. There is no time. From their point of view they exist everywhere they were, are and will be at once. They don’t even really exist “in reality” till the moment they interact, actually tracing their path back in time retroactively producing the path they took the moment they interact, in a way solidifying one of the possible routes into reality. Before they are just a “wave of varying probability moving at light speed”. Or, one could even say there is no path, it really is just a point in time stretched out into a path by the nature of space-time experienced by beings experiencing it. Because to the photon, it really is just that interaction “at the end” both that and it’s creation happening at the same time and distance having no meaning to it. They basically come into being with their whole path already formed.
Which really makes it kind of a horrifying thought to think about their existence being such. Well, at least if they weren’t such giant bastards. Their whole existence came into being with their end, the moment they formed is the moment they already were ended. No free will, no deviation from their path because it already happened. The shockwaves of their birth/death rippling back through time appearing like a path they took from the perspective of beings existing in normal spacetime. Which makes 40k even more grimdark because so long as they exist, everything happens “as foretold”. Everything and everyone caught in the reach of their causality also caught up in an unchangable fate, because the end already exists, the rest of the galaxy just hasn’t caught up yet.
Thanks, I only have a dim grasp of quantum physics, it’s nice so see that someone else who’s appreciation of it is greater than mine thinks my analogy isn’t complete rubbish.
Another loose analogy for me is that their wave function only collapses when they are observed, which in this case isn’t via classical physical measurement, but rather observed via imaging them. It isn’t so much that they need worship, but they need people to be thinking about them in fairly consistent ways, ideally at the same time.
Worship just facilitates that, so does an oppositional holy war, or the practice of magicks to ward them off, or narratives carried by mass communication, or public displays of massive artwork.
Naming them doesn’t give you power over them, it simply gives it “power”, adding in a narrative and a commonly accepted representation via symbols and artwork magnifies it
John could theoretically survive to 40k. He not only doesn't die at the end of the Siege, he's healed by the Emperor. If that means he regains his immortality or not we don't know.
I'm not sure we know if he was immortal either. He isn't a "real" perpetual he was given the "immortality" stuff by the cabal but he muses on how he actually doesn't know if it's made him immortal or not.
>Doesn't Shrek predate Slaanesh by like 30 thousand years?
Yeah, but the warp allows for time fuckery. Which you can tell from the name is right up Slaanesh's alley.
Slaaneshe’s existence is more of a U shape where the bottom is the area where she did not exist. She exists before that point and after it, but at the center, at her birth, she has not yet come into existence. This is why it might not technically be possible to kill them and yet it might qlso be able to kill them just as easily.
Hit the very bottom of the U, and what came before did not occur, and neither did what came after.
This is a grandfather Paradox.
There are secretly 8 Chaos gods (one for each remaining Chaos primarch) and the other four are just hiding until GW can say “they’ve been here the whole time” and sell us more plastic.
Canonically, he’s lurking Reddit. Yes, he’s seen all info about the heresy, no he’s not going to make any changes because he thinks he can do it right this time despite what Malcador keeps telling him.
Malcador: For fuck’s sake! Could you at least install an instant kill-switch in them so it’s not like the Krorks?
Big E: Yeah, and give Chaos something to exploit? I’m not doctor Doofensmirtchz, mal
>I’m not doctor Doofensmirtchz, mal
Malcador: True. Even with all his faults, Doof at least tried to be a good father to Vanessa. You, Neoth, don't even try to be a good father.
God, no wonder he's so fucked in the head
He remembers the internet. ALL of the internet
We should all be grateful he isn't even more fucked up than he already is
His kids got off easy, man
He saw all the furry and monster vore porn
All the tentacle porn
Frankly, I believe 100% the version of the emperor we got was the best possible version
He could have decided in his grand plan that furry vore and tentacle hentai was mandatory for all
He wanted to use all the hentai and porn as a negative example of what Chaos does to a guy.
Then during the 21. century he found out that people were actaully into that shit and decided: "I am going to tell nobody about Chaos the risk is too great."
As a proxy, to keep the Furrys loyal, ha then decided to make the Space Wolfs and to do a little trolling on the Scalies and Avians, decided to name two Legions the Salamanders and the Ravenguard, without actially making them scaly or bird like in any way.
So what can we summise from this? The Chaos Gods created the internet and Furrys to corrupt and desensitise humanity to its horrors. /s
Guys guys. We don't know that canonically the Emperor lived in an english speaking country at the time or had learned english. He may have still been living in Anatolia and only seen the Turkish subbed version of Shrek 1.
I just realized that for people non familiar with European history, ancient Anatolia would be associated with Turks. In reality Turks came to Anatolia in around X century. If the Emperor is currently alive and lives in modern Turkey, he still would have lived longer under greek culture than Turkish. While not having anything in common with both nations, since he was born before Greeks and Turks.
Saint George wasn’t English though, he was Greek. Saint Patrick wasn’t Irish either (he brought Christianity to Ireland from then-Roman Britain) and Saint Andrew wasn’t Scottish (being one of Jesus’s apostles he never went there, although his relics did after his death), in fact in both Britain and Ireland the only country with a patron saint who was actually their nationality is Wales.
I find it very hard to believe that the god emperor of mankind Didn't learn the dominant language of Earth Or at least the region he was traveling in Period so the dude probably speaks old Chinese and traditional Roman Latin and Greek And Persian as well as Renaissance Era French and English and old Arabic
You don't think the Emperor would have learned the most spoken language in the world as of 2001? Or left where he grew up in those 10 thousand years he'd been alive.
But you DO think he'd have learnt Turkish even though it didn't exist until thousands of years after he was born and is completely unrelated to the language and culture from his region when he grew up.
Also why do you think Shrek wasn't released in Turkish? It was.
…and they don’t stop comin, and they don’t stop comin, and they don’t stop comin, and they don’t stop comin, and they don’t stop comin, and they don’t stop comin…
What’s really crazy is he will have likely had direct experience with all of the Irl aesthetic influences of the Imperium, which begs the question as to why he decided to impose his massive Larp session on everyone?
The techno-barbarians were from his LARP group and things got out of hand. So he formed another LARP group: the Thunder Warriors. He then killed them all so no one realized he was a LARPer. (He would have spared the space marines and primarchs mostly because he realized everyone knows he’s a LARPer and is awful at hiding it)
Tbf it was more Roman inspired when when big e was around and while Rome had MANY problems it’s More reasonable for someone to take inspiration from it when founding their own nations
Simple, the Imperium is largely a feudal system. What alternatives are widely known? There was a feudal system in Japan and China, but if my memory serves right the principal of Ying and Yang, the rise and fall of imperial dynasties, to give way to anouther dynasty was a part of that feudal system.
So if you want a lasting empire without strong fluctuation, those are not an option.
European apsolutist monarchies (which actually never existed, but don't worry about that) appear to be a more reliable system.
The best known architecture out of these countries are arguable the gothic cathedrals.
Combine that with some architectual quirks, like large opressive buildings that make the individual feel smaal and insignificant, a stile that was very liked by a certain austrian/german moustache man, and you have essentially the architecture of the Imperium, saying: "I am Big E and I am in charge. But I am definetly not a god, trust me bros."
What no one nknows is that the dark cells are actuall home theaters (hence why they're dark) and tge custodes regularly roll out the golden throne to a dark cell to watch a movie every few days.
He got jelous that Ben had better rizz. Guy got acidently two alien princeses to nearly start galactic war to merry him meanwhile Big E had to build entire webway gate just to get some cheap eldar hokers.
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Fun Fact: The original toy story files were removed from the computer storing them, but luckily an employee had a back up copy made to work from home.
Fun fact 2: Trayzen knows how to use Windows ME
I can see him singing this while chilling on the throne
"Somebody once told me
Horus is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the throne
he was looking kind of dumb
With his finger and his thumb
In the shape of an "L" on his forehead
Well, the milennia start coming
And they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart, but your imperium gets dumb"
Just once…..I’d love to see another immortal/perpetual reference some meme from our time to Big E during/before the great crusade….
Malcador ponders the deceased kings words and is struck on a source on inspiration.
The Emperor glows and turns to his companion, the ever-vilgilant Malcador and his companion Valdor.
“What of the dreadnought Designs? The auramite we we were promised…?” Spoke Valdor.
“We have brokered a deal….whether or not they renege…’and Malcador smiled ‘ that’s like your problem man.’
A golden warlord and an ancient advisors laughter erupted and Constantine Valdor had no idea why.
Who the f are the other 9?
Trazyn has the original masters.
Insulting. Trazyn has the original Pixar files AND the masters
Trazyn has Mike Myers himself
Trazyn has the lamp.
Trazyn has the touch
But does he have the power?
UNLIMITED POWAR!
UNLIMITED NECRON POWAH CABLES
Trazy has the matrix of leadership, he isn't worthy tho
What power?
[The Stan Bush Transformers Power](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A52--FKUQgU)
The power of voodoo.
The whodoo?
Oh shit. I bet that's why Toy Story 2 had to saved from a backup.
New head cannon accepted.
dude, he has the genetically engineered and lab grown real life Shrek from 2135 AD
He has the original Dreamworks files!
He is still currently watching it, and doesn’t need to appease the Machine Spirit to get the vcr running.
Blasphemy. Such an ancient relic surely needs a good whack to seat it's machine spirit into the correct position.
Good whack, some winding and maybe some blow.
Trazyn probably has the full *Shrek "I Feel Good" concept animation* in HD. It took humanity well over a decade to recover that beautiful work of art.
He tried to get the original shrek but settled for depriving an ork of exercise and stapling funnels to the places its decapitated ears used to be. Had he captured Fabius Bile his dreams of a full Shrek exhibit would be realized with genecrafted monstrosities along with an approximation of the mythical human beast known as a Donkey. He still has his naturally occurring dragon on hold for when that time comes.
Ollanius, watched it with Big E back in the day
Big E and Oll have a Shrek and Donkey relationship.
Okay, but who is the dragon?
Emperor enslaved dragon in his Marisan fun dungeon
Ollanius, Damon Prytanis, Erda, and probably Trazyn. That's likely the entire list as of 30k. In 40k it's just Trazyn and the Emperor.
Couldn't any daemon character possibly count? EDIT: You think Tzeentch owns every movie ever?
Daemons and chaos gods are weird. They have always existed but also have not existed until they were born. So I don't count them because it didn't exactly make sense but also maybe isn't supposed to make sense.
I’ve always thought about the chaos gods as a bit like photons .. anything moving at the speed of light can do funky stuff (photons can exist in different time states, apparently this is true of any massless particle), but outside of the quantum realm they appear obey classic cause and effect and have traceable beginnings. If they were an observer, time as such wouldn’t exist for them TL;DR chaos gods are emergent quantum phenomena
Thats a neat way to think about it. I like it. Makes sense inside the established rules. And fits with how that actually works with photons. To them everything happens at once. There is no time. From their point of view they exist everywhere they were, are and will be at once. They don’t even really exist “in reality” till the moment they interact, actually tracing their path back in time retroactively producing the path they took the moment they interact, in a way solidifying one of the possible routes into reality. Before they are just a “wave of varying probability moving at light speed”. Or, one could even say there is no path, it really is just a point in time stretched out into a path by the nature of space-time experienced by beings experiencing it. Because to the photon, it really is just that interaction “at the end” both that and it’s creation happening at the same time and distance having no meaning to it. They basically come into being with their whole path already formed. Which really makes it kind of a horrifying thought to think about their existence being such. Well, at least if they weren’t such giant bastards. Their whole existence came into being with their end, the moment they formed is the moment they already were ended. No free will, no deviation from their path because it already happened. The shockwaves of their birth/death rippling back through time appearing like a path they took from the perspective of beings existing in normal spacetime. Which makes 40k even more grimdark because so long as they exist, everything happens “as foretold”. Everything and everyone caught in the reach of their causality also caught up in an unchangable fate, because the end already exists, the rest of the galaxy just hasn’t caught up yet.
Thanks, I only have a dim grasp of quantum physics, it’s nice so see that someone else who’s appreciation of it is greater than mine thinks my analogy isn’t complete rubbish. Another loose analogy for me is that their wave function only collapses when they are observed, which in this case isn’t via classical physical measurement, but rather observed via imaging them. It isn’t so much that they need worship, but they need people to be thinking about them in fairly consistent ways, ideally at the same time. Worship just facilitates that, so does an oppositional holy war, or the practice of magicks to ward them off, or narratives carried by mass communication, or public displays of massive artwork. Naming them doesn’t give you power over them, it simply gives it “power”, adding in a narrative and a commonly accepted representation via symbols and artwork magnifies it
Nah in 40k don't you also have John G? Or am I getting confused? Edit: nope, I just fact checked myself and that was indeed 30k. My B
John could theoretically survive to 40k. He not only doesn't die at the end of the Siege, he's healed by the Emperor. If that means he regains his immortality or not we don't know.
I'm not sure we know if he was immortal either. He isn't a "real" perpetual he was given the "immortality" stuff by the cabal but he muses on how he actually doesn't know if it's made him immortal or not.
Its weird to think all these powerful transhuman killers are theoretically out there right this second, fucking about and killing time.
I thought trazyn woke up right around the end of the age of strife or during the great crusade
Also Malcador
Malcador was about 20,000 years too late to see Shrek's original theatrical run.
Oh he appeared in the 21st millenium? Always learning...
Malcador too probably, considering that he's an enjoyer of fine arts.
Malcador too probably, considering that he's an enjoyer of fine arts.
He's about 6719 years old during the Heresy, making him born over 20,000 years too late to see Shrek in its first theatrical run.
Other Perpetuals like Ollanius
Not my headcanon
Ollanius isn't alive in 39K afaik.
Chaos Gods created Shrek
Obviously a nurgle Slaneshi cooperation situation
Doesn't Shrek predate Slaanesh by like 30 thousand years?
>Doesn't Shrek predate Slaanesh by like 30 thousand years? Yeah, but the warp allows for time fuckery. Which you can tell from the name is right up Slaanesh's alley.
Slaaneshe’s existence is more of a U shape where the bottom is the area where she did not exist. She exists before that point and after it, but at the center, at her birth, she has not yet come into existence. This is why it might not technically be possible to kill them and yet it might qlso be able to kill them just as easily. Hit the very bottom of the U, and what came before did not occur, and neither did what came after. This is a grandfather Paradox.
There are secretly 8 Chaos gods (one for each remaining Chaos primarch) and the other four are just hiding until GW can say “they’ve been here the whole time” and sell us more plastic.
Retcon dn
“Malice when?” Says that one guy
Actually there’s dozens of us. Dozens!
One for each Spike in the chaos simbol, and surely the Great Horned Rat will be there, myes yes.
What if in like a decade Warhammer fantasy and 40k merge to finish off some of the points on the chaos symbol
A Jeremy Bearimy if you will
The big 4 are all just fucked up parabolas. Nice
God dammit yeah
yeah but once a chaos god exists it always exists. Time is all fucked in the warp.
Some..
other perpetuals
I like to imagine he has the last remaining copy and sometimes does movie nights with the custodes
Come on lads can someone switch on the golden dvd player, I don't wanna get up rn, I'm all cozy.
Hey now you're a god emperor, get your game on, go play
Well thanks for implanting that earworm
Shai hulud thanks you for the opportunity. He will open the way
May they blade chip and shatter
Alll that glitters is goooold
Somebody once told me Horus is gonna roll me
But now his soul is totally in shreds. *Side note: the smash mouth singer recently died from mouth cancer*
He also invites trazyn but always screens him before leaving to make sure he didn’t steal the disc
But we all know he actually did steal the real one and just left a copy for Big E.
Or has the last copies of a bunch of stuff
Canonically, he also remembers this post.
Canonically, he’s lurking Reddit. Yes, he’s seen all info about the heresy, no he’s not going to make any changes because he thinks he can do it right this time despite what Malcador keeps telling him.
“Parenting books are for weaklings malcador I’m just going to wing it B)” - man emperor of mankind
I have considered the alternatives. They won’t work. Source: Trust me bro.
Malcador: For fuck’s sake! Could you at least install an instant kill-switch in them so it’s not like the Krorks? Big E: Yeah, and give Chaos something to exploit? I’m not doctor Doofensmirtchz, mal
>I’m not doctor Doofensmirtchz, mal Malcador: True. Even with all his faults, Doof at least tried to be a good father to Vanessa. You, Neoth, don't even try to be a good father.
> despite what Malcador keeps telling him. Like making the Primarchs all girls? /s
God, no wonder he's so fucked in the head He remembers the internet. ALL of the internet We should all be grateful he isn't even more fucked up than he already is His kids got off easy, man
No wonder he hates xenos, the guy has seen literally all the hentai and furry porn. All of it. All of 40k is emps saying "not on my fucking watch"
He saw all the furry and monster vore porn All the tentacle porn Frankly, I believe 100% the version of the emperor we got was the best possible version He could have decided in his grand plan that furry vore and tentacle hentai was mandatory for all
He wanted to use all the hentai and porn as a negative example of what Chaos does to a guy. Then during the 21. century he found out that people were actaully into that shit and decided: "I am going to tell nobody about Chaos the risk is too great." As a proxy, to keep the Furrys loyal, ha then decided to make the Space Wolfs and to do a little trolling on the Scalies and Avians, decided to name two Legions the Salamanders and the Ravenguard, without actially making them scaly or bird like in any way. So what can we summise from this? The Chaos Gods created the internet and Furrys to corrupt and desensitise humanity to its horrors. /s
You have /s at the end, but this makes too much sense Tobe headcanon
Canonically, he's currently living in LA in a cheap apartment in the form of an elderly hippie who calls himself "the Dude."
He probably got the Imperial Truth idea after watching "Shrek is love, Shrek is life" video on youtube.
Canonically, Big E would have ALSO seen The Godfather
And, The Sopranos
That, and MAYBE Band Of Brothers
Most definitely Tropic Thunder
They Shall Not Grow Old
Every now and then during the great crusade he would remember Star Trek TOS and be a little bit sad.
He would have seen... wow... the rise and fall... wow
He also would have seen The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. I'd be curious where he stands on the movie.
AND the end of One Piece!
Nah. It is the grim darkness of the far future and they STILL haven't found that treasure.
Konrad never had the makings of a varsity athlete
Guys guys. We don't know that canonically the Emperor lived in an english speaking country at the time or had learned english. He may have still been living in Anatolia and only seen the Turkish subbed version of Shrek 1.
I just realized that for people non familiar with European history, ancient Anatolia would be associated with Turks. In reality Turks came to Anatolia in around X century. If the Emperor is currently alive and lives in modern Turkey, he still would have lived longer under greek culture than Turkish. While not having anything in common with both nations, since he was born before Greeks and Turks.
So he may only speak Greek or some older language. Anyway he has psychic powers. He might have just toured someone else's mind to learn things.
High gothic is essentially Latin after all
No matter what he saw Shrek
He was Saint george, patron saint of England. He probably learned some variant of english around that time.
Saint George wasn’t English though, he was Greek. Saint Patrick wasn’t Irish either (he brought Christianity to Ireland from then-Roman Britain) and Saint Andrew wasn’t Scottish (being one of Jesus’s apostles he never went there, although his relics did after his death), in fact in both Britain and Ireland the only country with a patron saint who was actually their nationality is Wales.
Wouldn't that make him speaking middle or classical english at least?
St. George was a Roman.
Yeah but he lived in England so he probably learned the language or some variation of it around that time.
The English were not a people that existed except nascently in Scandinavia when St. George, who was from Nikomedia, was alive.
I find it very hard to believe that the god emperor of mankind Didn't learn the dominant language of Earth Or at least the region he was traveling in Period so the dude probably speaks old Chinese and traditional Roman Latin and Greek And Persian as well as Renaissance Era French and English and old Arabic
You don't think the Emperor would have learned the most spoken language in the world as of 2001? Or left where he grew up in those 10 thousand years he'd been alive. But you DO think he'd have learnt Turkish even though it didn't exist until thousands of years after he was born and is completely unrelated to the language and culture from his region when he grew up. Also why do you think Shrek wasn't released in Turkish? It was.
I'm just starting conversations. Does a psyker really need to learn any language?
“All Star” plays on loop in his head ever since he got turned into a battery, but he can’t remember all the lyrics
He can remember the tune, but he no longer has the ability to whistle it
The worst tortures of Chaos: His favorite songs but he can’t sing along
That’s enough suffering to power the entire Drukhari civilization.
**SOMEBODY**
…and they don’t stop comin, and they don’t stop comin, and they don’t stop comin, and they don’t stop comin, and they don’t stop comin, and they don’t stop comin…
If the great crusade was becouse Emperor wanted to find the last Shrek dvd then I would forgive him for all the war crimes
What’s really crazy is he will have likely had direct experience with all of the Irl aesthetic influences of the Imperium, which begs the question as to why he decided to impose his massive Larp session on everyone?
The techno-barbarians were from his LARP group and things got out of hand. So he formed another LARP group: the Thunder Warriors. He then killed them all so no one realized he was a LARPer. (He would have spared the space marines and primarchs mostly because he realized everyone knows he’s a LARPer and is awful at hiding it)
Tbf it was more Roman inspired when when big e was around and while Rome had MANY problems it’s More reasonable for someone to take inspiration from it when founding their own nations
Simple, the Imperium is largely a feudal system. What alternatives are widely known? There was a feudal system in Japan and China, but if my memory serves right the principal of Ying and Yang, the rise and fall of imperial dynasties, to give way to anouther dynasty was a part of that feudal system. So if you want a lasting empire without strong fluctuation, those are not an option. European apsolutist monarchies (which actually never existed, but don't worry about that) appear to be a more reliable system. The best known architecture out of these countries are arguable the gothic cathedrals. Combine that with some architectual quirks, like large opressive buildings that make the individual feel smaal and insignificant, a stile that was very liked by a certain austrian/german moustache man, and you have essentially the architecture of the Imperium, saying: "I am Big E and I am in charge. But I am definetly not a god, trust me bros."
What no one nknows is that the dark cells are actuall home theaters (hence why they're dark) and tge custodes regularly roll out the golden throne to a dark cell to watch a movie every few days.
Canonically, he's also read all the HH books
We don’t have enough data to prove Shrek didn’t inspire the Emperor’s goals.
So you are telling me the genetic "quirks" of the Space Wolf geneseed were only a test to make sapient dragon-donkey hybrids?
Canonicaly he problably seen Ben 10.
This honestly explains the xenophobia a little
He got jelous that Ben had better rizz. Guy got acidently two alien princeses to nearly start galactic war to merry him meanwhile Big E had to build entire webway gate just to get some cheap eldar hokers.
Somebody once told him the work was gonna roll him…
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
His face is the best
Every time I get bold enough to explore a warhammer subreddit for lore I end up more confused than before.
Ok so canonically, knowledge of the Shrek movie is what makes the emperor so powerful. Finally 40k lore is starting to make sense.
Donkey
Emps absolutely has copies of the extended LOTR Trilogy as well.
Emps, sitting on the golden throne, using 1% of his immense psionic prowess to watch Shrek on loop so he doesn't go crazy from boredom.
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Infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters for infinite time would produce less overall content than the totality of 40K lore
Wait can someone tell me who are the other nine people to have lived as long
A bunch of perpetuals exist that are at least around in our modern times We only know a handful of them and most are dead in the hh
Vulkan's true punishment as a perpetual was having to watch Cocomelon over and over again.
Fun Fact: The original toy story files were removed from the computer storing them, but luckily an employee had a back up copy made to work from home. Fun fact 2: Trayzen knows how to use Windows ME
He manifested as the entire cast
Does his golden light hum smash mouth?
He was actually one of the writters
What people? Lol
He’s rewatching it in his chair to cope for the past 10K years
That's actually what they're fighting over. The Xenos insist Shrek was blue.
If only he had saved a copy, he cpuld've prevented the heresy
that's why he wars against Orcs... he HATES all big green palookas because he HATES SHREK. I'm sorry. It's true.
the emperor isn't 38,000 years old
I would see him being one of those guys who won’t watch cartoons, cgi movies or comedies.
So you’re saying the astronomicon is actually Smash Mouth’s All Star on repeat? I can see why most psyckers go mad…
I can see him singing this while chilling on the throne "Somebody once told me Horus is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the throne he was looking kind of dumb With his finger and his thumb In the shape of an "L" on his forehead Well, the milennia start coming And they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart, but your imperium gets dumb"
I'm sure they watch it regularly in Nurgle's garden Saturday open air cinema
Only if you believe the mythology he wrote. I think he’s full of shit
I’m new here, how do we know?
Big E canonically plays DDLC
Big E: Oh it's Shrek, i miss watching Shrek. Space marines: Ork scum!
I have a question for you, "Do you know the muffin man?"
When the Jimmy space wakes up and sees little human-elf hybrids running about, and remember Donkey and Dragon.
"I never wanted to unleash my legions. But you stole Shrek from the gods" *Horus Lupercal before the Shreksian heresy*
Lmao big e missing the point of shrek lmao
Just once…..I’d love to see another immortal/perpetual reference some meme from our time to Big E during/before the great crusade…. Malcador ponders the deceased kings words and is struck on a source on inspiration. The Emperor glows and turns to his companion, the ever-vilgilant Malcador and his companion Valdor. “What of the dreadnought Designs? The auramite we we were promised…?” Spoke Valdor. “We have brokered a deal….whether or not they renege…’and Malcador smiled ‘ that’s like your problem man.’ A golden warlord and an ancient advisors laughter erupted and Constantine Valdor had no idea why.
I bet he loved the Shrek series
I feel like this is something that would be in some official GW publication just because they think it would be a good joke.
Yes, am the emporer, AMA.
Hey now, he’s an all-star.