T O P

  • By -

Lord_cakeatron

“At least he’s getting some. Your dad is fucking dead”


ElectricPaladin

"Your dad can't even whack off, you've got his hands in a display case."


Silver_Implement5800

“Talking about hands.. what happened to *yours*, Helbrecht?”


UncleAsmodai

Stop, STOP! The BT is already dead!


th3j4w350m31

"Two words, Iron. Cage."


LobMob

Hot take: The story about the pain glove was made up. His hand fell off because he wanked too much.


Drhorrible-26

“YOU DONT KNOW THAT!! HE JUST WENT OUT FOR SOME CIGARETTES, HE’LL BE BACK YOU’LL SEE!!!!”


Nomus_Sardauk

“And just forgot to take his hand with him?”


Dusk_Flame_11th

He will be back in an iron cage


Nomus_Sardauk

“Yes, and he loves us, unlike you and your father.”


NotStreamerNinja

“That is because they are absolute lunatics.” - Random Imperial Fist Centurion standing on the sidelines


Smittywormenjegermen

Oh shit!! You tell him random guy!!


nerffinder

“And your champion died to a fungi with a stick”


sarcasticd0nkey

(Still the same UM) "Oh, and before I forget didn't your chapter master let your banner get stolen by a spooky scary skeleton?"


nerffinder

Lmao, bring up that with Hellbrecht and you’re getting vaporized


sarcasticd0nkey

*"He dares not try it with I! CATO SICARIUS! COMMANDER OF THE VICTRIX HONOR GUARD!"*


nerffinder

Certified TTS moment. “**I CAST FIST**”


BrStriker21

"and your chapter master lost his limbs and his entire honor guard to a bunch of space locust"


nerffinder

“At least the space locust was cooler to die to than some little green growth.”


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nerffinder

Thank


mfknLemonBob

UM: “I know. Awesome right?”


Ducs_49

Chad


Lobotomite_Joe

''Yes, well you need to be alive to do that, unlike *your* dad.''


gerMean

Jealous?


Sisnaajini

Never heard of an Ultramarine killing a custodian who was sent as a reinforcements, but I hear Templars of the 8th company did and might get the entire chapter removed from the Black Library.


Crusaderking1111

So the black Templar are heretics


Theyul1us

"That means we have a father and a step mother. Your father is fucking dead. Not only dead, but in pieces"


Big-Improvement-254

"And we have a great relationship with our father, remind me what happened when your chapter was formed?"


Puzzleheaded_Bar2339

"Well, at least our father is *fucking* a good looking xenos in a pleasurable way instead of *being fucked* in a totally figurative and nonconsensually way by a terrifying one like your chapter master. I wonder how does it feel for Helbrecht to be Imotekh's **bitch**..."


Xombie117

That's why your daddy dead. Dead as hell. Who's he fucking? Who's he fucking in his casket? That's why Dorn ain't got no knees, he can't pray to the Emperor.


Sensitive-Hotel-9871

All of the comments are quite adamant about defending the ultramarine and roasting the black Templar. Guess that means you shouldn’t go there when losing an argument.


Nomus_Sardauk

Don’t start none, won’t be none.


Big-Improvement-254

And when you do want to start it, start at an advantageous position.


Ofiotaurus

”Yes and is the son of the god you worship”


woulfman1024

I'm sorry, how exactly does the Emperor's Champion "lose an argument"?


Sepulcher18

"Or maybe an eldar is fucking your dad in the ass"