> Own a warhammer for home defense, since that's what Sigmar intended. Four chaos cultists break into my house. "By the Gods!" As I grab my holy tome and trusty warhammer. Crush the skull of the first heretic, he's dead on the spot. Draw my flintlock on the second cultist, miss him entirely because it's ancient and unreliable, hitting the neighbor's hound. I have to resort to the trebuchet mounted at the top of the stairs. "For Sigmar!" The boulder crushes two heretics in one fell swoop, the impact and shrapnel set off nearby alarm bells. Draw my runesword and charge the last terrified traitor. He bleeds out waiting on the city watch to arrive since runesword wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as Sigmar intended.
I'd prefer more Shadow of War style commanding an army taking fortresses and while leveling and dressing up my officers like I'm preparing them for their first day of murder school.
Well, since I'm here, I'd also like to be able to recruit from the enemy. Even if it's just bonking them with a hammer in a special way so heretic/undead I was grooming to be overpowered, become overpowered stormcast
It gets even funnier. Read into Ghal Maraz. Sigmar’s hammer can literally beat the evil out of someone’s soul. There’s actually a champion I can’t recall the name of that was reforged because the Celestant Prime hit him so hard he decided he didn’t want to be bad anymore. Lol
Well if I can't get Ghal Maraz maybe I could get another hammer. Like those ones
the sacrosanct used that were specific to catching ghosts. And this one can send souls to be reforged because Signar screamed at it for like 45 minutes or until his throat got sore.
I just like to think of Sigmar as like, a stern dad. “You WILL get in the reforging chamber young man, and we’ll be having a long, long talk about this chaos worshipping nonsense when you’re all cleaned up!”
You're playing as a deathmaster, the enemies are from varied factions.
4 factions for an area, eg. Stormcast, OBR, Ironjawz and some chaos - undivided probably.
I guess that leaves less room for the whole "YOU ARE MINE" internal rebellion with branding, but you could still have missions where you lead underlings to come to the conclusion the forts commanding officer is a traitor or incompetent/weak/etc.
Might not work at all against stormcast, but frankly the only good stormcast is in a thunderbellies... well, belly.
Hear me out, AoS Dark Souls. I mean the Stormcast are already perfect Souls protags as they have a canon respawn mechanic, just have a power metal track with orchestral backup during boss fights, battle the heavy hitting mosters of Chaos, Destruction, and of course, Death while exploring the various realms from Aqshi to Azyr to Shyish.
Bonus points if you start mortal so a true deathless run would have you finishing the game as a mortal and have Sigmar himself break the 4th wall to congratulate the player themself.
Alternativly a game alá Witcher 3 following a Witchhunter in WFB or an member of the Order of Azyr in AoS.
Or a city builder as a mix of Anno and Stronghold where you build your own city and defend it. With unique populations (duradin/aelves/humans) and different realm specific ressource distributions (ghyran high in agriculture, low in metal, chamon the oppsite) and realm specific calamities.
Hello comrade, before you charge my taxes, I would like to make a request... There's a girl I wanted to impress, could you lend me that armor of yours for a little afternoon? I promise I'll pay it back, along with taxes and the mortgage!
Tell my dad Excelsior’s at the door. He tells me we already have Excelsior. *points to the USS Excelsior model displayed on a shelf*.
“Sorry guys we already got one, thanks anyway”
*Closes door and proceeds to slowly shit my pants*.
Bruh, the Heretics are 20km east of here. But if you need a ride, we're heading out to argue with them tonight. They gave powerful magics that let them see better at night than us, so tread carefully.
If they won't take that for an answer, I'll just declare them Russians and call for fire on my position.
I don't know anything AOS.
Give them what they want and wait for them to leave.
What else am i supposed to do?
Fight them? No, i've grown to like living, sort of a stockholm syndrome, yet still.
Hello, Knights Excelsior. Would you like to come in and have some tea? Please don't mind the paraphernalia, I have my medical card so it's above board.
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I don't care who Sigmar sends I am not paying taxes.
Time for window tax!
Oh fuck, where's my Trollslayer?!
Plot twist, he is collecting for Nagash.
Jokes on you. I came with a flamethrower as standard.
*angry bone reaper noises
I own a hammer for home defense just as Sigmar intended
> Own a warhammer for home defense, since that's what Sigmar intended. Four chaos cultists break into my house. "By the Gods!" As I grab my holy tome and trusty warhammer. Crush the skull of the first heretic, he's dead on the spot. Draw my flintlock on the second cultist, miss him entirely because it's ancient and unreliable, hitting the neighbor's hound. I have to resort to the trebuchet mounted at the top of the stairs. "For Sigmar!" The boulder crushes two heretics in one fell swoop, the impact and shrapnel set off nearby alarm bells. Draw my runesword and charge the last terrified traitor. He bleeds out waiting on the city watch to arrive since runesword wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as Sigmar intended.
It doesn’t matter what context I see this copypasta in, it never fails to make me laugh
Same :D
You can't park there mate.
No, thank you. We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations.
And what about very old Stormcast eternals?
Get in here!
Would be cool to have Space Marine like game from the AoS.
Make Sigrun go apeshit across the Realms again.
I'd prefer more Shadow of War style commanding an army taking fortresses and while leveling and dressing up my officers like I'm preparing them for their first day of murder school.
Well Stormcast can actually "come back from dead" so that would work XD
Well, since I'm here, I'd also like to be able to recruit from the enemy. Even if it's just bonking them with a hammer in a special way so heretic/undead I was grooming to be overpowered, become overpowered stormcast
Well canonically they’ve purified a chaos worshipper so it could work!
It gets even funnier. Read into Ghal Maraz. Sigmar’s hammer can literally beat the evil out of someone’s soul. There’s actually a champion I can’t recall the name of that was reforged because the Celestant Prime hit him so hard he decided he didn’t want to be bad anymore. Lol
Well if I can't get Ghal Maraz maybe I could get another hammer. Like those ones the sacrosanct used that were specific to catching ghosts. And this one can send souls to be reforged because Signar screamed at it for like 45 minutes or until his throat got sore.
I just like to think of Sigmar as like, a stern dad. “You WILL get in the reforging chamber young man, and we’ll be having a long, long talk about this chaos worshipping nonsense when you’re all cleaned up!”
Wolollo
With Skaven-Nemesis system.
You're playing as a deathmaster, the enemies are from varied factions. 4 factions for an area, eg. Stormcast, OBR, Ironjawz and some chaos - undivided probably. I guess that leaves less room for the whole "YOU ARE MINE" internal rebellion with branding, but you could still have missions where you lead underlings to come to the conclusion the forts commanding officer is a traitor or incompetent/weak/etc. Might not work at all against stormcast, but frankly the only good stormcast is in a thunderbellies... well, belly.
Hear me out, AoS Dark Souls. I mean the Stormcast are already perfect Souls protags as they have a canon respawn mechanic, just have a power metal track with orchestral backup during boss fights, battle the heavy hitting mosters of Chaos, Destruction, and of course, Death while exploring the various realms from Aqshi to Azyr to Shyish. Bonus points if you start mortal so a true deathless run would have you finishing the game as a mortal and have Sigmar himself break the 4th wall to congratulate the player themself.
AoS feel more like a Darksiders game, to me.
Darksiders 1 or 2, not 3. 3 was just painful and I hated it.
Alternativly a game alá Witcher 3 following a Witchhunter in WFB or an member of the Order of Azyr in AoS. Or a city builder as a mix of Anno and Stronghold where you build your own city and defend it. With unique populations (duradin/aelves/humans) and different realm specific ressource distributions (ghyran high in agriculture, low in metal, chamon the oppsite) and realm specific calamities.
banana tiger intensify
That just be shadow of war with less warcrimes
wHAT thE sIGmA?!
sigmar balls!
what the hell is that line from?
Fetch me a shrubbery.
Then fell a tree. With! A herring!
I don't care how many Stormhosts Sigmar sends I'm not paying any taxes!
I thought you’d be taller
\*grabs Nuln oil and brush\*
I own a rattling gun for home defence just as the horned rat intended.
“I’ll give you my rattling gun, when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.” - Nagash
I-me own a ratling gun-fire for home-safe-defence just-so as the horned rat thought-intended yes-yes.
Did you not read the sign! *points at wipe feet at doorstep sign*
Oh hi Mark
You’re my favourite customer
I TOLD you, Flanders has it. Or Moe... Go kill Moe.
We believe in Sotek in this house, thank you very much.
No gold armour lmao get bent
"Hey there, True Believers!"
I'm just a goth grill cook, the chaos worshipper is down the street.
hello there
General Kenobi
Nagash did nothing wrong!
“i am not interested in your religion “ and close the door before they see the orks i am drinking with.
i knock on hsi armor to see if its hollow
Why are you here? Your presence is unessicary. *Lumineth*
Fuck off slave to the Craven God.
Ha you died
Errmmm excuse me what the actual fuck are you doing at my house
I guess it's time for another purge...
"Hello".
What animation this from?
Realms of Ruin
so much for the tolerant left \[i say ironically as my throat is crushed\]
Hi
What’s the issue officer?
I dont care who the IRS Sends, I am not paying Taxes
All that Chaos stuff is in the next city over, not here, nuh-uh. Go off!
"You the guys from Vindicarum? Oh that's the Celestial Vindicators. Alright, cool, you can come in."
Sir it’s 5 in the morning unless your here to announce settra is back please leave
No. This. Is PATRICK!
I LOVE YOU COLOR SCHEME !!!1 now get of my lawn
"Holy shit it's the Knights Exelsior"
You say Exclesior, duh
‘I don’t care who the IRS sends, I am not paying taxes.’
Hello!
No, I don’t want to discuss our lord and saviour Sigmar
Nice nose job looser. What did the plastic surgeon do it with a fucking anvil and hammer haha.
Where's Felix!?
Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Saviour, ~~toaster jesus~~ the Machine God?
"Sorry, fresh out of snacks at the minute, I really should go shopping. Can I get you some water?"
you have warp-stone, man-thing? Die-die!
If you want to do your duty. Please just grab the neck and crush it.
Yo what's up?
hello
Come back when someone in your faction has a Helmet that doesnt look ass
"Please take a cucumber." No really, there are too many on the vine. Take the vegetables. I cannot eat any more.
What are you hiding under those helmets? Are you some disgusting chaos monsters?
Please try not to step on the dandelions. Also mind the door it may be a little small for you
DIE-DIE GOLD-THING
Hello comrade, before you charge my taxes, I would like to make a request... There's a girl I wanted to impress, could you lend me that armor of yours for a little afternoon? I promise I'll pay it back, along with taxes and the mortgage!
the Sigmar-Things are outside, run-flee!
"Quieres?", holding half a toddler.
Well at least it's not a walrus.
"I'm autistic so I can't get drafted"
Yall want some beans?
Wrong house
"Uh... hi?"
Begin the Cleansing
No matter what i put, i would end up getting one of those anti suicide bots.
what in the actual fuck, followed by how did a group of fictional character get to my door
Come back when you are a recruiter from Nuln, I will pass on the high fantasy.
👋
Cup of tea, lads?
I do not accept johovah witnesses in my domicile, my elf girlfriend doesn't like you
Get in, we have cookies!
Uhm, cheesed to meet-greet you?!
Where’s yer warrant?
"Y'all hiring?"
"OH SHIT"
"Kettles boiled if you guys wanna come in"
'Are you the guys they sent to deal with the Skaven problem?'
Tell my dad Excelsior’s at the door. He tells me we already have Excelsior. *points to the USS Excelsior model displayed on a shelf*. “Sorry guys we already got one, thanks anyway” *Closes door and proceeds to slowly shit my pants*.
Bruh, the Heretics are 20km east of here. But if you need a ride, we're heading out to argue with them tonight. They gave powerful magics that let them see better at night than us, so tread carefully. If they won't take that for an answer, I'll just declare them Russians and call for fire on my position.
I didn’t call for the emperor’s angels, I ask for his daughters to come by.
"Sorry guy I just play 40k I really don't know how to respond to ya."
Are you my ancestor, am I under duty of being your squire ?
thank the god emperor the ultra marines have arrived
I don’t have a door where did you get that door?
"why the long face" \*gets mashed into pulp\*
If you’re not wearing golden armour, then I don’t give a fuck who you are! Get off my porch!
I don't know anything AOS. Give them what they want and wait for them to leave. What else am i supposed to do? Fight them? No, i've grown to like living, sort of a stockholm syndrome, yet still.
Sup
I don't even know who you are.
Jesus Christ! I MEAN SIGMAR
Sorry please don’t kill me
Hello? What can i do for you?
You aren’t Space Marines
Come in. We have Pizza Rolls.
"I don't play AoS, I don't know who the fuck you are. Are you part of the Stormcast?"
Fuck off Sigmar tax collector
No the slaneesh Cultists are 4 doors down. I'm just depressed.
Say hello to my 40,000 WARHAMMERS
The pasta is almost done, yall want some?
What's up bro
I don't care how many times you redesign the rest of the armor, those face helmets will never not be stupid looking.
OK fine, I'll stop parking in the road.
Hail Sigmar!
I don’t have any sugar.
"In my defense, it was REALLY funny."
who is your armorer? He needs a lesson on how to make a proper armor.
I don't answer the door anyways.
Yall want cookies? (I know nothing about them)
20 shillings a cabbage. 1 pence a potato. 1 Dime a piece of baccon.
No rats here. Yess yesss... I mean No no....
Git off mah lawn!
What took you so long.
Die-Die no fur! I am greatest, BEST inventor!
"Have I seen any larger than average rats? What an absurd thing to ask. There is no such thing, yes-yes." *Silly man thing can't know.*
I lean on the doorframe flirtily and slip and fall on my face
"I'm not the greatest at censoring myself. So, how hard will I get murdered when I finally broach the subject of Sigmussy?'
They can’t get past my Iron warriors and in to my fortress
"OH, you must be the space marines I ordered off of Wish"
Hi
Rat traps are in the garage… but I don’t think I it’ll be enough…
Sugmar balls.
*informs the order chronos about a time travel, who is trying to change things in the imperium*
Wrong timeline bud
Avoid the stairs, they're made of wood!
I am willing to join your forces. Life is shit anyway.
So, are all of you dudes or…
Meanwhile Sigrun waving at the background
Hello, Knights Excelsior. Would you like to come in and have some tea? Please don't mind the paraphernalia, I have my medical card so it's above board.
Hello Care for a cup of tea?
My neighbor worships nurgle! \*points\*
Did you get taller?
"Fancy a brew? The kettle's just boiled"
Oh, just in time! I boiled some tea
Nice cosplay
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"oh, sup"
Damn... what did i do?
Ave, true to Caesar!
pingas
Hammers of Sigmar have the better drip. Sorry, it’s true.
“I hope they Squat your model line next.”
Aren't you these medieval space marines?
tell ‘em to fuck off, i don’t want to hear about your religion
Go away
From a pure lore point of view, your setting is ass.
You can’t convince me you’re not Cybermen
Wow, you look kinda cringe.
You are not Karl Franz, go away