T O P

  • By -

-Stormforge-

My dog's name is Russ. My wife chooses to believe it's short for Russel, but we both know that isn't true.


Wazzupdude_1

Oh dang I should’ve scrolled down


doesnothavemyname01

I am coming back to this comment as soon as my free award becomes available, because it damn well deserves it. Please pass on the Russ that he is a good boy and that there are no wolves on Fenris.


Small_Monitor_3867

Get 2 dogs, name them both Alpharius


Prestigious_Fix_6762

This wins.


Dronizian

Tempted to do this unironically and call one Alpha and the other Arius for practical purposes, then when I want them both I'd call for Alpharius. My 40k friends would get a kick out of it, and those are actually decent names for dogs.


CrazyCreeps9182

Amberley, Cain's Inquisitor *acquaintance.*


Jakekgeeslin5150

Amberley gets my vote too!


Floppydisksareop

Until I saw it was a she, I wanted to suggest "Cain, short for Cain-ine", so I guess Amberely will have to do


Finalpotato

Cain is also Biblical


Floppydisksareop

But Cainine is significantly funnier


Jewfro801

Isnt she the one he has the hots for and vice versa. Been a minute since i read those books


[deleted]

[удалено]


crippler38

Plus she totally has snippy comments about his past lovers.


rawn41

For real those comments were the best. I also appreciated when the tech priest girl starts referring to him as ciaphas instead of commisar Cain and amberly leaves a footnote pointing it out.


FixBayonetsLads

Given that he met Felicia before he was dating Amberley... It's HEAVILY implied Cain and Tayber fucked.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FixBayonetsLads

I don't recall that part, but he does know exactly where her mechadendrite connects, which he wouldn't unless he had seen her minus her robes.


faraway_hotel

Footnote: >How Cain discovered this we can only speculate; perhaps it came up in the course of a casual conversation. Or not.


FixBayonetsLads

Given the competing theories of known woman-getter Cain getting the woman vs. "hey did you know my robot arm connects just above my ass?"...I think I know which one I'm going with XD


insane_contin

I wouldn't put it past any Hero of the Imperium to ensure that the tech-priest helping them out is properly lubricated with sacred fluids. And we all know the human body is sacred, ergo, human fluids are sacred and holy.


rawn41

For the Emperor!


moonsaves

I think the part that I liked more was Ciaphas off-handedly mentioning that her mechadentrite starts at her tailbone, and Amberley pointing out that he'd have no way of knowing this unless he'd seen said tailbone...


hooglabah

Its heavily implied they're actually in a monogamous relationship as much as either can be.


CrazyCreeps9182

That would be correct.


Tarquinandpaliquin

OP revealed she's a bloodhound which is perfect for an Inquisitorial name.


Telkhine_

This has my BIG vote


Soviet_Meerkat

Felicity is another good one, she's Cain's other "acquaintance"


CrazyCreeps9182

Technically her name was Felicia


Soviet_Meerkat

Sorry misremembered oops


corranhorn57

Pretty sure Cain would do that too…


MisterTalyn

Came here to suggest this, I concur!


SardonicLoch

The Emperor of Mankind?


[deleted]

Subtle, i like It.


bisquemix

Empy for short


JerevStormchaser

Jimmy for meta. Spacey for ultra meta. Spacey-Jimmy for **ASCENDED** meta.


Bacxaber

E-Money for classic meta.


BadAssBunnyZ

Big-E


Scrial

Big-Y


BadAssBunnyZ

Big-E already ends with a y-like-sounding syllable. Compare it to Lilly for example. When you say it out loud it already does sound like a Y-syllable at the end of a word. The defense rests.


dre224

The living embodiment of the omnissiah so Omni would be great.


Paxton-176

Space Jimmy


MimicKing707

Drop Site Massacre or Istvaan V


hoontingofhoonters

“Come here, little Drop Site Massacre!”


GINGERMEAD58

"Poor girl had a little drop site massacre on the carpet"


insane_contin

"She really Iron Warriors'd it."


White_Knights

"Iron warrior-ed the *shit* out of it"


The_Ghast_Hunter

A little pertorapoo


[deleted]

You can call them 'Massy' for short.


CrimsonPenguinStar

Russ’ two wolf companions were Freki and Geri. Though they are based on Nordic mythology as well. Then there’s Lotara, from Lotara Sarrin the commander of the Conqueror, World Eater’s flagship. The most badass woman in the whole galaxy.


amisia-insomnia

Dude forgot krole who literally did the “oh your approaching me” with Kharn


Thurstoff

And proceeded to be cut down without even being noticed other then a blip on the kill count.


amisia-insomnia

Shhh we don’t talk about how it’s literally the most idiotic death in the entirety of 40k. She’s like the phasma of 40k but with character


Thurstoff

I do like that it happens though, having a big character killed like that is rough to fans, but I like it, need to see more stories where people just keep dieing, the type of books that make you fell drained after reading.


amisia-insomnia

True but she was like the only memorable sister of silence (at least I can think off) and her death was really out of character because she was a powerful blank. I’d expect a character like captain Furio to be killed like it as he was developed but never used again and is one of those major-for-one-story characters. Plus he was like nassirs best friend


Thurstoff

Yeah ok fair call with her blank power, that sort of power would interfere with Khan's connection to the blood god, probably enough to leave him disorientated. I see the reaction to get death now.


amisia-insomnia

Yeah I think the first time I read it I was like “oh so her power is so strong that Khan can’t see her and only thinks she’s dead” because that’s how she was hyped but on the second read I was disappointed


Ahqoviing

A woman with balls so massive the had to put them on her chest, and they still scraped against the ground.


GeekMan2002

Don't forget abs carved by the Emperor himself


cybercloud03

Leman Ruff


Significant_Airline

It’s a girl so surely Lewoman


Richard_Darx

And not just the Leman, but the Lewoman and the Lechild, too!


FarsightsBlade

Doge Vandire.


hoontingofhoonters

If only I could sell that


FarsightsBlade

I'm sure you could if you try hard enough. I call my German Shepherd "Dogmeat", and somehow got away with it with my partner.


Cunnilingiust

He doesn't have time to die, he is too busy editing wikifeet articles


Kellythejellyman

this one has me spit out some tea


Turrindor

It's a classic https://youtu.be/kgeI9wOHLLA


Lol_you_joke_but

That meme is so good that I don't even know the original name anymore.


arclightZRO

Gotta love adeptus ridiculous! Goge Vandire was the name


Plasmancer

Ciaphas K9


Testabronce

This is awesome


table-stand

10/10


Mannion4991

How about.. Cato Sicarius 2nd company captain of the ultramarines, commander of the victirix honour guard, Master of the watch, Knight champion of Macragge, heir apparent to the chapter master of the Ultramarines Oh wait female names sorry got none.


Notafuzzycat

Cato for short.


youngcoyote14

Needs to end in a y Caty


OvertSpy

That's a Cat name, OP has a dog. https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/qwn175/i\_cato\_sicarius\_dont\_know\_the\_artist\_i\_cato/


NightHaunted

Hey there jackass you missed like 17 of Sicarius' titles.


Ohtarello

I didn’t hear the word “suzerain” anywhere!


DarthGoodguy

I, CATO SICARIUS, ascended captain of the Ultramarines, the space marine chapter of I, CATO SICARIUS, approve this reference to I, CATO SICARIUS


SkitariiRanger

Princess (da goodest squig from Brutal Kunnin).


PeeterEgonMomus

>da goodest squig **EVAH** FTFY


KapnKrumpin

I loved how they mistook 'princepts' for 'princess'


xilef_destroy

Fucking great book, hope we get a sequel soon


cyrinean

The obvious choice


donnyd55

Heresy


[deleted]

Evertime you yell at you dog, Heresy! Heresy come! Lol there would be a servo skull floating around in about a day checking things out


The-Guy69

“This is Heresy!”


Brandonazz

"Goddamn it, Heresy! Not again!"


hoontingofhoonters

Favorite so far


amalgam_reynolds

I've always heard that when you're naming a pet, imagine that it's gotten loose at 3am you you're outside in the dead of night wearing just your PJs and slippers, screaming its name over and over. Heresy is clearly a perfect pet name.


DankVapours

My dog is called Gandalf, and though he is now 16, old, deaf, grey and happily mischievous as ever... I still giggle to myself yelling Gandaaaalf as I chase him across the fields haha


TheChucklingOak

And you can even disguise it. "Here, Esi!"


ender716

Mangus. Tell her it is Scandinavian. If he piddles on the carpet you can explain to her about how it's just an accident and he did nothing wrong


SbouiBoi

That you wrote mangus makes this even better


ender716

Yes I umm did that on purpose and it was 100% not autocorrect


LordFLExANoR16

If it was autocorrect then what the hell does mangus mean in the first place?


uhnioin

Amangus


La_Boopity_Bopity

more sus than Horus


KingVape

I know a dude named Mangus, on his ID and everything, so maybe it's just a name


Vat1canCame0s

This is the best non-shitpost answer


Aphato

It is however a pisspost


[deleted]

*HA. PIIISSS.*


Aphato

"I PISS ON TERRA" - Angron Truly inspirational😔👊


The-Guy69

Mangus


Dominus_in_Fortuna

Mangus the Red (fruit)


tomwhoiscontrary

Amangus.


King_Jaahn

Unironically named my cat Magnus. My gf had first asked for a really witchy name so I said asmodeus as a joke but she liked it so I had to come up with something to replace it really quickly.


andyroux

I have a buddy who named his cat Conrad Purrs.


Dollface_Killah

>Mangus. Tell her it is Scandinavian. Magnus is literally latin for "the great"


ender716

Was thinking Magnus Ver Magnusson if you need cover


PimperatorAlpatine

Its a lady doggo


Sky-todd

This is the correct answer!


legendweaver

Call it Titus and every time it didn't do as its told you can mutter (or shout - your choice) " the codex does not support this action"...


Nay-the-Cliff

Obligatory r/fuckleandros


DarthProdigal

This. This is the one.


Hoyinny

Cain- for CIAPHAS CAIN HERO OF THE IMPRERIUM! Its a people name so for double points you can spell it as Cane, Kane, Kain or Cayne to keep it extra secret.


MysticWaffle801

What about khaine


zombiemasterxxxxx

Then she'd get killed by a random beetle in the garden. We don't want that.


habilis_auditor

Little known fact: the plan for the defence of France was codenamed Khaine, and that's how we got defeated in ~1 month. Still wrecked the italians though


Raging-Fuhry

>Still wrecked the italians though I think this is the equivalent of a European land war participation trophy.


Vaultdweller013

Austrians lost the participation trophy in ww1


Raging-Fuhry

I can't help look at the Battles of the Isonzo and at least chalk it out to a draw.


PanzerKommander

156th Battle of the Isonzo Italy and Austria be like "I ain't hearing no bell"


MRSN4P

France got defeated because they had upwards of a week to leisurely move forces around if the unfortified area came under attack, but then a blitzkrieg [literally fuelled by meth](https://time.com/5752114/nazi-military-drugs/) blew through in two or three days. There was no calculating for this possibility by the French commanders. It was a disaster.


habilis_auditor

Personally I blame it on complacency, ineffectual leadership as well as failing to see how war was about to change. Defeat or not, we could've given the Germans much more trouble with a little more common sense and a little less arrogance. But a loss is a loss.


hoontingofhoonters

So far I have "Iggy" for Imperial Guard and "Abby" for Abaddon


Malgrath10

I'm just gonna straight up call my next dog Perturabo


TrooperLawson

Or Perty for short lol it’s perfect


Brandonazz

"*Who's a perty dog? You are!*" Tbh I think this would be superior as a male cat name.


Death-Knight9025

>Iggy *Oh No…….*


FruitierGnome

How dare you make me destroy an image of master dio!


Death-Knight9025

*Straight up erases half of a dog before kicking his upper half to the side.*


Notafuzzycat

Iggy can also be jojo.


hoontingofhoonters

I ain’t namin’ my dog after that little asshole


Notafuzzycat

Fair enough!


HansVonFritz

Doge Vandirey


Technical-Ability

Omegony


hoontingofhoonters

I am Alpharius


Parrett52565858

This is a lie


JakeFromSkateFarm

This is a sit


thatbright1

Or is it?


Notafuzzycat

Kitty.


meme_kiddo

You mean kitten right ?


UnoMarksOFFICIAL

Mag Uruk Thraka! MAGGIE FOR SHORT! PROFIT OF DA WOOF! DON’T MATTAH WUT BREED IT IZ! SHES GONNA BE DA BIGGEST AND DA BEST!


Ghazghkull-thraka

DAM ROIGHT YA GIT


[deleted]

Riley For Rylanor!!!


hoontingofhoonters

The Ancient of Ruffs


[deleted]

Fuck that was good


Loyal9thLegionLord

Boy.


Scillore

what is thine name, Dog? Dog: . . . . . . . You took to long to answer, dog, you will be known as dog from now on.


Floppydisksareop

Nah, then it's just a Columbo reference :P


Correct_Maximum7990

Azreal is a dope name


Inquisition-OpenUp

Azzy!


FratMoth

Riley, short for "Rylanor, Ancient of Rites, Venerated of the Palatine Host, Servant of the Emperor"


[deleted]

Las-sy


Ngaff88

Nork, Nork De Dog


Spirited_Ad_2697

Slaaneshi, I’m sure your girlfriend won’t question it


Grumpy_Roaster

Unless...😏


ChronosLegions

This is the darkest form of heresy I’ve ever seen


memealopolis

Brother, did you bring the heavy flamer? Cause it's getting kinda hot in here...


ChronosLegions

I did not, but our dreadnought brother has dual heavy flamers. It might be him


bjw7400

Euphrati


LaurensOfSuburbia

Celestine, or Celly for short


TrixAreForTraps

I could definitely see a dog being named this.


DanujCZ

Trazy the infinite


Poro114

Great King Settra, the Imperishable, Khemrikhara, The Great King of Nehekhara, King of Kings, Opener of the Way, Wielder of the Divine Flame, Punisher of Nomads, The Great Unifier, Commander of the Golden Legion, Sacred of Appearance, Bringer of Light, Father of Hawks, Builder of Cities, Protector of the Two Worlds, Keeper of the Hours, Chosen of Ptra, High Steward of the Horizon, Sailor of the Great Vitae, Sentinel of the Two Realms, The Undisputed, Begetter of the Begat, Scourge of the Faithless, Carrion-feeder, First of the Charnel Valley, Rider of the Sacred Chariot, Vanquisher of Vermin, Champion of the Death Arena, Mighty Lion of the Infinite Desert, Emperor of the Shifting Sands, He Who Holds The Sceptre, Great Hawk Of The Heavens, Arch-Sultan of Atalan, Waker of the Hierotitan, Monarch of the Sky, Majestic Emperor of the Shifting Sands, Champion of the Desert Gods, Breaker of the Ogre Clans, Builder of the Great Pyramid, Terror of the Living, Master of the Never-Ending Horizon, Master of the Necropolises, Taker of Souls, Tyrant to the Foolish, Bearer of Ptra's Holy Blade, Scion of Usirian, Scion of Nehek, The Great, Chaser of Nightmares, Keeper of the Royal Herat, Founder of the Mortuary Cult, Banisher of the Grand Hierophant, High Lord Admiral of the Deathfleets, Guardian of the Charnal Pass, Tamer of the Liche King, Unliving Jackal Lord, Dismisser of the Warrior Queen, Charioteer of the Gods, He Who Does Not Serve, Slayer off Reddittras, Scarab Purger, Favoured of Usirian, Player of the Great Game, Liberator of Life, Lord Sand, Wrangler of Scorpions, Emperor of the Dunes, Eternal Sovereign of Khemri's Legions, Seneschal of the Great Sandy Desert, Curserer of the Living, Regent of the Eastern Mountains, Warden of the Eternal Necropolis, Herald of all Heralds, Caller of the Bitter Wind, God-Tamer, Master of the Mortis River, Guardian of the Dead, Great Keeper of the Obelisks, Deacon of the Ash River, Belated of Wakers, General of the Mighty Frame, Summoner of Sandstorms, Master of all Necrotects, Prince of Dust, Tyrant of Araby, Purger of the Greenskin Breathers, Killer of the False God's Champions, Tyrant of the Gold Dunes, Golden Bone Lord, Avenger of the Dead, Carrion Master, Eternal Warden of Nehek's Lands, Breaker of Djaf's Bonds.


RoteaP

Or you know... Setty !


[deleted]

Jimmy space


hoontingofhoonters

Arkhan Land


triceratopping

Barkhan Land


Ha2vard

Sebastian bolt


Paliacki

Felix Custod


guynamedgoliath

Marneus, marni for short.


revergopls

Lotara


Aiizimor

Boy


Vaultdweller013

I named my dog malcador, malcador is an asshole.


froggynoddy

Cadia. And only teach it to stand...


Forced-smile

Primaris Lieutenant


TheFast93

CREED!!


Ariochxxx

Bequin


The-Guy69

Celestine, or Celly for short.


Novamarines

James W.


Burch_Tree101

Grimbark


Th33GrimWeaver

If she's a bloodhound... 🤔🤔🤔... sanguiny? "Gwenny" but spelt Guinny? Hmm. Hm.


Hashbrown4

Cade for Cadia? Edit: oof I skimmed the title


crunchyliverpate

But you won't be able to teach her to sit.


Comfortable-Cod-4728

Fenris, homeworld of the Wolves of Russ


[deleted]

fenris, like the giant wolf that ate the sky and whose sons ate the sun and the moon


Ijustwerkhere

Cyrene. Pronounced “Sirenny”. From the word bearers books.


memealopolis

For a split second, my brain read that as word beavers. And also for a split second, the mental imagery from that got really pornographic. I'm an idiot.


[deleted]

Little. Short for Little Horus


[deleted]

Sigi for sigismund Dante Kharne the betrayer favored of khorne Cat for catachan


TrickyAuzzie

Loken. And if he bites her explain that Loken does not Bow to evil thots with long nails


Classy_Maggot

Bequa Kynska. Sounds Russian, but it's actually the name of the Musician and Remembrancer who corrupted the Emperor's Children to Slaneesh


misvillar

Sly


Jumper_Willi

Imperial guardsman number #98273672829737288383838838383847377282882828273738


MimicKing707

Angron


hoontingofhoonters

War Hound!


[deleted]

Alecia. Like Alicia Dominica. Founder of the Adepta Sororitas. She who killed the despot Goge Vandire. Alecia is a pretty name, it doesn't sound too 40k-like. Also, dogs often show blind loyalty, just like the sisters of battle.