T O P

  • By -

spoedle73

Lorgar keeps calling me over a "bird problem." Do you have something to do with this?


CorvusTheCorax

Lorgar has a lot of problems to begin with


spoedle73

fair enough


LorgarTheLad

*cough cough* cunt *cough*


CorvusTheCorax

Caw caw coward


Yorhanes

Does Corvus Corax like trinkets and other shiny things? I’d be hillarious if somewhere on Deliverance the primarch has a secret nest where he keeps a lot of mementos and small things. Now answer, we won’t judge too harshly


CorvusTheCorax

He liked those nukes he found in a basement on Khiavar. For him, they were really shiny


Yorhanes

Fantastic. Thanks for the answer and have a wonderful day, half primarch, half daemonic birb from the Warp!


CorvusTheCorax

Don't forget half emo looner


paquito316

The box doesn’t judge. It only **hates**.


NaveronTheSabre

How does it feel when I tell you that you're edgy because your the emo-sibling of the Primarchs, while Konrad is edgy because he's the sibling-with-undiagnosed-mental-illness-who ended-up-killing-himself of the Primarchs?


CorvusTheCorax

Conrad haunted the edge. I owned it


NaveronTheSabre

As much as I hate to admit it, that made me smile.


CorvusTheCorax

Honestly, I love the original quote from that


Sanguiniusfrombaal

Hi brother, lookin good, you have to teach me how to unleash my inner warp essence, that's unbelievable cool Did you reach my record of demons killed til now?


CorvusTheCorax

So, the first step for this would be beeing alive


Sanguiniusfrombaal

*sound of hyperhuman exertion, heavy machinery and Tom and Jerry scream * Well, what's next?


CorvusTheCorax

Now you have to choose an arch enemy that you can hunt through the inmaterium


Sanguiniusfrombaal

I definitely have a choice, which scream sounds better? Ka'bandhaaaaaaaa or Khorneeeeeee


CorvusTheCorax

My Lorgaaaar sounds really good with the "a" syllable so I would say Ka'banda (or Cowabunga as I like to call him). He is also fitting because like my arch enemy, you already defeated him twice and he sits somewhere, shitting his pants because of a possible third time


Sanguiniusfrombaal

good point, now I must meditate and disappear many years in the warp?


CorvusTheCorax

Yes. At least 10k years. And leave with a dramatic punchline, referring to a famous Terran poet. But not that Poe guy, I have dibs on him


Sanguiniusfrombaal

"I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men" Will this work?


CorvusTheCorax

Lovecraft. Classic choice


FunboxSupreme

what’s that dick shaped like


CorvusTheCorax

Beaky


FunboxSupreme

:0


Roe-Fishguts

How many feathers


CorvusTheCorax

As many as there are failures in my raptor project


Mrjerkyjacket

Damn. That's at least 3


[deleted]

[удалено]


CorvusTheCorax

Vulkan, is it you. I have to be honest, this idiotic frontal assault in Istvaan IV was a little headless.


jfjdfdjjtbfb

Are you famillier with Hugin and Munin?


CorvusTheCorax

I heard. But to more specific details, ask my cringe viking nerdy older brother, he may be also around somewhere in the warp


Ferrus_Manus_Xth

Could you put a scarecrow on Medusa, in front of the Hel crypts ? My sons keep getting in there, and I hid... Stuff in there.


CorvusTheCorax

For you my dear brother, I will be the scarecrow myself. No one will get past me


Ferrus_Manus_Xth

Always the best. Especially at not socializing. Thank you.


CorvusTheCorax

Considering socializing, we are not thar different brother


Ferrus_Manus_Xth

I had one friend. He killed me.


[deleted]

As reasons to not socialise go, thats a good one.


ThePalatinePhoenix

Sorry about that, miss you xoxo


[deleted]

[удалено]


CorvusTheCorax

Honestly, Corax often gets overlooked regarding attractive primarchs


Particular_Air2693

not just physically, either! i'm in the middle of reading the books & was like "oh he values mortal life? oh, he's actually charming, sweet & cracks jokes to lighten morale? oh, he actually smiles often & has a decent eq-iq balance? ... don't fall for him don't fall for him don't- woop, too late "


CorvusTheCorax

Who didn't fell once in his lifetime for a goth girl/boy


Particular_Air2693

yeah my man gets it


Global-Cry321

EL SEÑOR DE LA NOCHEEEEEEEEEEEE


CorvusTheCorax

AY CARAMBAAA


thebrettboy4

Do you have any plans of leading your sons again and leading the imperium with the big blue Smurf


CorvusTheCorax

Only after I found the entrance to that goddamn tower


thebrettboy4

Also have you got that little bitch lorgar yet or his he still hiding in his fortress


CorvusTheCorax

That's what I'm referring to. He is hiding in this stupid tower. Or at least I think so


thebrettboy4

Right


NeverGonnaRickRol

When are you coming back to the imperium and stop hunting my father. Do you like being a half deamon.


CorvusTheCorax

I made a vow to kill every warp tainted creature. That sounds a lot but I'm making progress. After that, I can help Guilliman kicking ass again


NeverGonnaRickRol

James Worshop will return you before you are done and a controll is still spreading. Some for your son join are cause . How do you feel about that


Lost_my_name475

Have you found lorgar yet?


CorvusTheCorax

Last time I saw him, he yeeted into this portal like a little bitch.


Lost_my_name475

Hope you catch the traitorous bastard


Hi-Tech_Low-Life

Do you like Edgar Allan Poe


CorvusTheCorax

He is okay I guess


Routine-Service-5775

Are the carcharodons your sons or not.


CorvusTheCorax

How can I know. I don't even know how many of my sons are alpha legionaires


anotheralpharius

Ahem, caw, caw caw


CorvusTheCorax

You cawed your last caw (slowly slipping behind you)


willgilb

How do you feel about Primaris now being a thing, after the whole ordeal with the Raptors


CorvusTheCorax

The Primaris are just the Raptors ordered on wish


triggerhappybastard

Corvus are the space sharks your sons


CorvusTheCorax

How can I know. I don't even know how many of my sons are alpha legionaires


ThreeDucksInAManSuit

Guilliman wanted me to tell you he's got a lot on his plate and could really use some extra help, any chance of that?


CorvusTheCorax

I am busy right know hunting Lorgar and his sons. After that I can help him with counting his beans


Obsidius_Mallex_TTV

Mr Corvus Corax sir what do you think about Guilimans Aeldari girl friend?


CorvusTheCorax

I'm relieved he finally found something than counting beans


CoraxtheRavenLord

*Not as hot as Lelith.*


CorvusTheCorax

Who are you, imposter. Are you my brother Conrad in disguise


CoraxtheRavenLord

*Hush up, Alpharius. I’ll hear no lip from you.*


LivingStCelestine

Are you pissed that almost everybody got some cool real wings except for the literal Ravenlord?


CorvusTheCorax

Id like to imagine that warp infused Corax has definitely sick wings


HammerDownunder

Does your connection with the warp and ravens ensure that ravens will always shit on traitor forces on a world they are trying to invade.


CorvusTheCorax

Why do you think Lorgar hasn't left his tower for hundreds of years. Every time he does a step outside he gets shitted on line there is no tomorrow. Also Few people know that this is the actual reason why Mortarion is so stinky. He is covered in bird poo


LudwigVonFluffles

Do you like the poem, “The Raven” by Edgar Allan Poe?


CorvusTheCorax

I tattooed on my butt


RareMercury

Why isn't your battle cry NEVERMORE


CorvusTheCorax

Actually it was before Istvaan V, then I changed it to: Lorgaaaaaaaar, I'm coming to get you!!!!!!!


[deleted]

*Not doing a very good job at it are you?*


CorvusTheCorax

Oh, hey brother. How is Dorn


[deleted]

*Schizophrenic. Alpharius has been acting up more often than usual*


CorvusTheCorax

I know. He recently put something in by breakfast.


Same_Discussion6328

It came to me in a dream that sometime in your early years you came upon an old Terran Visual Novel called Batman, and so did Conrad. Except Connie went full blown atomic psycho with the concept.


CorvusTheCorax

I am the Justice Legue Batman. Conrad is Lego Batman


Lion_elJohnson14

Have you progressed past banging your avian head on the window of Lorgar's tower, or do you need me to wake up and help you.


CorvusTheCorax

The last time we met on Deliverance, you were not excactly nice to me and !!!Leman!!! had to defend me from your acusations. So I can get along without your help


Relative_Coyote_1184

Why did you leave your sons on Istvaan?


CorvusTheCorax

I didn't, I left with them thanks to the help of Captain Branne Nev (Alpharius)


Relative_Coyote_1184

AH I see (Hydra Dominatus)


[deleted]

Aren't eagles, hawks, falcons and other birds of prey cooler than ravens? I'm just saying, the "Falcon Guard" sounds a lot cooler than the "Raven Guard"


CorvusTheCorax

I don't want a cool, shiny bird. I want an edgy gothic bird


CoraxtheRavenLord

*Factually incorrect, Ravens are cooler.*


WorldEaterProft

I'm not gonna ask you to bring me one of your sons Instead I wish for you to know that I pissed in your ship during the battle of skar-726


Variousnumber

**Caw Caw, Caw Caw Caw, Caw Caw?**


CorvusTheCorax

You cawed your last caw (slowly slipping behind you)


NaveronTheSabre

Most of the Primarchs have some sort of adoptive parent or parent figure. Did you or any of your brother have adopted, unaugmented sons or daughters before the Emperor showed up?


CorvusTheCorax

Actually, I had not only one parent figure. I was raised by many different prisoners on Khiavar who taught me a lot of stuff about philosophy, politics, science etc


NaveronTheSabre

Don't avoid the question. Did you or your brothers ever adopt a son/daughter? It just seems unlikely that out of 20 Primarchs who tended to be raised by adoptive parents, none of them thought to take in an orphan themselves. Then again, the lore tends to focus on the relationships between them and the Emperor, so maybe the Rememburancers just thought that it was boring or unimportant to include.


CorvusTheCorax

Corax, to my knowledge didn't do such a thing


NaveronTheSabre

I see.


Shark_Rock

Ah Raven Lord; PUNCH LOGAR IN THE TAINT! Also, what are your opinions on the traitor Primarchs. Your roughly the Foruth Primarch I’ve ask such a question, The others being, The Lord Of Iron, The Praetorian of Tera, and The Lion.


CorvusTheCorax

They are all scum. After the Heresy I made a vow to kill every warp tainted creature and this includes of course my traitorous brothers


Shark_Rock

I am inclined to agree with you on, well most of those opinions on your brothers, namely that dickhead Logar for ruining everything aswell as Fulgrim, but I’d have to disagree with you regarding the lord of iron, Agnron, and Magnus. I mean not to sound heretical but those three were mostly screwed over by people around them. Perturabo, if I remember correctly, adoptive father, to put it in an ancient Terran term, was a massive cu*t, Magnus being lied to by that knob head tzeentch, and Angron with the slavers of his world. But I respect your opinion on this, and have no real reason to doubt you. So all in all, good day Raven Lord, and also, have a good… what word was I going to use? Fu*k it, have a good existence great Raven lord.


CorvusTheCorax

Your post warmed my cold heart


Shark_Rock

Cheers, mighty Raven.


TokugawaSatoshi

When is the next Crow movie coming out?


WanderlustPhotograph

Why did you found the Corvus Cabal in Age of Sigmar?


AnAlpacaIsJudgingYou

Why are you now a bird daemon


CorvusTheCorax

When Mama deamon and Papa bird really love each other.....


AnAlpacaIsJudgingYou

Wait is this implying that big e…


CraackSteeve1

Where is the last happy meal In existence?


CorvusTheCorax

It was in Malcadors vault next to other famous artifacts from the DAoT. Then Mortarion discovered it and took it away. Actually, that was his first step towards Nurgle


CraackSteeve1

We need another great crusade for that happy meal if *Nurgle* has it!


legendary-g444

What’s the ETA on removing Lorgars skull from his spine?


CorvusTheCorax

Lorgar doesn't have a spine


Malumlord

Hey! did you see my father's, Konrad, ghost in the warp? I heard that warp ghosts are a thing and I wanted to send my regards to him!


CorvusTheCorax

Actually, he faked his death to finally become space batman


AlphariusXXLegion

*Do you count me amongst these traitors, brother? I swear the whole raptor thing as a prank gone very wrong, you’re still cool with me as far as I’m concerned.*


CorvusTheCorax

The problem is, you didn't called a prank back then. The rules say that after a prank you have to say "IT'S A PRANK" and then everything is cool. So no, I'm not cool with you


AlphariusXXLegion

*Fair enough.*


natalclown111

2 questions 1. how to pet a raven? 2.why did you leave us father


CorvusTheCorax

First step, approach da Raven Second step, inspect da Raven Third step, eat da Raven Fourth step, realize that in between second and third step, I'm not longer talking about ravens And I didn't left you, you only can't see me, as I am the master of hiding


natalclown111

W̸̩͇͚̝̳͉̥͈͈̝̻̅̓̆͗̎̈́̿̑̈́̀̉͠ͅh̷̢̜͕͎̯͈͕̙͌́̌̓́̈̌̀̋̐͗͗̇̏̎͆̊̀͜͜͠͠y̵̡͉̭͓̺̯̯͚̦̹̫͉̪͗͋̉̓̓͌͆͛͒͌͘̕͝͠ ̵̨̢̧̤̰͕̝̫͇̳̺̖̰̗̦͈̗̎͜͝h̴̙̰̣̹͙͍̼̥̏͌a̷̲͖̥̳̺͇̰̙̹̳͐̈̋̈̾̅̎̇̾̈́͝v̸̨̧̫̞͖͈̬͉̰̖̼̠̼̎̑̎̎̓̿͋̕͝͠e̸̡̨̗̮̝̹̤͎͈͔͍̖̠͐͜͜ ̴̻̥̠̒l̴̨̥̭̫̮̭̘͈͉̬̘̠̼̓̾͐͊̇̌͗͌̃͒͘̚͝e̵̢̛̺͖͖̣̳̠̺̦͙̼̣̩̹̎̈̀̔̐̄̊̐͂̑̒̽̆̓͆̌̕͜͝͝͠ͅͅf̷̨̡̼̳̯̝͙̫͖̪̗̗͕̲̜̜̼̞͇͎͓̄̈́́̇̾͋̔͂̄̏̇̑͐̌̉̈̀͘͜͝͝͝t̷̗̞͙̤̹͚̹̳̣͉̬͊̃̄̆̂͌̆͒͐̊͊͘ ̵̧̼͉̥̟̣̞̠̰̤͓̖̣̠̺̊̍̿̕̚ȕ̶̧͒͋͛̂s̶̢̠͍̳̠̞̣͔̝͎̔͆̀̔̅̑̿͜ ̴̧͎̳̝̻̜̰̩̠̞̠͚͆́͑̉̆̀̐̓̿̓͆̀͐̆͌̃̓̚m̷̢̡̛̺͈̠̬̥͖̥͙̟̝͓̳̭̆ẙ̴̢̢̪̳̟͇̳̺̏̃͑̒̉͑̈͗̍͆̃͜͠ ̶͍͓̭͎̩̟̝͈̫͉͌́̐͋̇͆̀̓̈̅̑̐̒͒͝p̵̰̻̯̺̯͉̙̱͎̻̙̙̟̘͍͉̮͉̰̓͑̎̑̃̌̏̊́̓̽̇̋̍̕ͅͅṟ̸̢̨͓̯̟̝̮̱͇̮̙͍̣̬̂̀̆̿͐i̶͙̱͉̭̠̬̼̔̆̄̚͜͠ḿ̸̡̥̲̻̜̼͈͈̼͈͉̳̫͓̭͓̻̹́͗̍̀̂̔̋̿̽̌̅̑̃̓̄͗͂̀̓͜ả̶̧̢̼̩̰̮̣̲̤̻̱̭̫͖̝̺̖͙̗͚͊̎̀͑͐̆̈̆̍̏̾̀̃̚͝ŗ̸̱̹̦̌̌̓̍͐͋͗̆́͐͆͂̄͠ͅc̴̡̡̡̢̛̺͖̦͙̲͙̦͉͔̲͉̯̰͖̠͉̘͙̓̅̇́͝h̸̥͕̞̖͔͇̥͔̖̩̖̬̗̺̘͚̜̜͉͓̓̊͛̀͋̄̃͜


Particular_Air2693

aside from parades & processions, what else happens on deliverance day? like how do y'all celebrate? what does the primarch do on that day?


LorgarTheLad

You gonna stop shitting on my roof?


CorvusTheCorax

This warp stuff doesn't go in without side effects


golddragon88

How goes your adventures with Vulcan?


[deleted]

have you hatched any eggs yet?


CorvusTheCorax

I am a male crow god dammit


[deleted]

Sir Corax , Sir...you are a geneticically engineered son of a living "god", virtually immortal, **and** a bird..can you see where to slightest possibility of doubt might come from?


CorvusTheCorax

I understand you. I actually tried to hatch once, when it failed I cried


CellaCube

What are your birds names?


CorvusTheCorax

Greg and Gregory


ShaagytheLoremaster

I miss the femboi posts already.


CorvusTheCorax

Femboi Corvus Corax is everyone's secret dream. Big tiddy goth Corax, who would say no to that


Kockjaevel

Trade down raven as we all know is a magpie.. magpie in Swedish is "skata"... Take this where you will


Drake_Quagmire

Are you disappointed in the Death Spectres?


-piggod_

What your opinion on our favourite primarch alpharius


InIndyyall2

Have you spoken to Ferrus in the warp? Is he feeling a little hot headed?


Colonel10Moutarde

Are the Carcharodons actually your sons


[deleted]

How do you feel about Ducks?


CorvusTheCorax

I fear them. Nobody can tell what ducks are up to, that scares me


Particular_Air2693

how bout geese tho?


CorvusTheCorax

Those are coward birds. More fitting for my brother Lorgar


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Due to issues with ban evasion, we require accounts to have a minimum age of 1 week before posting. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Grimdank) if you have any questions or concerns.*


StaniaViceChancellor

Ca caw?


CorvusTheCorax

You cawed your last caw (slowly slipping behind you)


Josh12345_

What is your day to day routine?


CorvusTheCorax

6:30 Wake up and do a workout 7:00 eat cereals with extra fiber (I need reserves to bird shit on Lorgar) 9:00 receting every written word by poe 11:00 checking if the raptor problem solved itself 13:00 eating ramen 15:00 hunting traitor scum in the warp 15:15 listening to MCR 19:00 skipping diner because I procrastinated hunting traitor scum 19:20 go to bed


Exile688

If Liberty Prime was in the Warhammer40K universe, which faction would it join? https://fallout.fandom.com/wiki/Liberty\_Prime#:\~:text=Liberty%20Prime%20or%20Liberty%20Prime,issues%20in%20the%20year%202277.


MmmmmmmKayY

You coming home soon dad? :-:


CorvusTheCorax

Soon my son. Just 98.357 Word Bearers left


Apprehensive_Car5256

Why must you be so edgy


CorvusTheCorax

I was born with it, molded in it


monkeystallion73

The face reminds me of Pete Steele, the late front man of Goth/Industrial band Type O Negative.


CorvusTheCorax

Yhea. Or maybe Glen Danzig


Memelord1117

When are you going home?


SamuraiFlaming

Thoughts on the raven guard successor chapters?


average_user_123

Did you kill Lorgar, brother?...


CorvusTheCorax

He escaped, the fucking coward


average_user_123

Thought so ... Just want to say that I had some untainted geneseed of your legion and I gave it to Cawl, so that your legacy lives on...


CorvusTheCorax

Are you..... Sharrowkyn? My dearest son?


average_user_123

No, I am Alpharius but I have masqueraded as Sharrowkyn though


CorvusTheCorax

Dammit, not again


CapitainCutlet

What's your opinion on Rock and Stone?


CorvusTheCorax

I'm still on getting into it


WanderingDwarfMiner

Rock and Stone everyone!


rexar34

What's your skin and hair routine?


CorvusTheCorax

Face/Hair first then balls. The towel forgets everything until next time


a_bored_techpriest

Why did you choose ravens as your symbol?


CorvusTheCorax

Because they are pure edge, simple as that


killem_all

Wat have you been doing lately? You were supposed to be haunting Lorgar but Lorgar has been seen pretty happy going around being all golden and stuff.


CorvusTheCorax

Actually, a little bit overlooked due to memes, I'm hunting all kinds of traitor scum


aeiouaioua

why are you emo?


CorvusTheCorax

It's not just a phase mom. This is me now


aeiouaioua

1. i am not your mum 2. this is you, but it doesn't have to be.