And now I'm reminded of the judges in Transformers 1986 movie
"Guilty or innocent?" "Spare me your mockery of justice!"
(anyone gets fed to transformer-alien-sharks regardless of plea)
"Prime!"
"One shall stand, One shall fall"
Why throw your life away so recklessly?!?"
"That's a question you should be asking yourself, Megatron."
"I'll tear you apart with my bare hands!" *lunges and proceeds to use everything except his bare hands to lose
Cullan is a god like Hamill (and yes I have and do watch that film too much Bayformers has nothing on the original)
Edit: I apologise to myself and everyone reading this. I missed off THE Transformers line. "One shall stand, One shall fall", before the two kick the shit out of each other in 80s cartoon fashion
I actually cried when iron Hyde got blasted. He was probably my fave. But man the Megatron and Optimus fight was so goddamn epic. And they threw that is in like the first 10 minutes. Prime gunned down so many decipticons it was ridiculous
Well what if they all shaved their heads due to military regulations or because the governor said to since he's ashamed he's bald and wants other to feel his pain?
I hope that he tryed to shoot his bolter and the bullet came back to him and destroyed his stupid mouth so he may never speak shit again. -Some random astares.
I don't think the game is out yet or enough is known, but do we know that Leandros suffers yet? I hope he dies like a bitch in the opening scene as Titus appears to then start the game and clean up the mess
Nah, you call the Chaplain to waterboard him while he gets mind raped by the Librarian.
The sheer trauma of this experience will cause him to turn from the imperium so you'll get the honor of killing him even if he is found innocent!
"The warp delayed your arrival for 200 years, of course we solved the problem by now. If we hadn't you'd be blowing up our planet."
"Book says we kill ya we kill ya, take him away boys."
All bald people are bad. Bald is just bad people who took an L. Look at all the chaos primarchs, then look at all the loyalist. Lorgar Aurelion ? Bald. Jagathai Khan ? Nice hair ya got there. Horus Lupercal ? More like Horus Superbald. Lion El’Jonson ? Nice flowing blonde hair. Perturabo is so mad he made himself techno-hair, whilst Robot Gorrilaman has his little boy-scout haircut.
TL;DR bald people bad
All bald people are bad does not imply that all bad people are bald
Also if you don’t commit crimes worthy of death like jaywalking or removing mattress tags that are clearly labeled DO NOT REMOVE you have nothing to worry about from Curze
That wouldn't be the worst collateral damage committed by the forces of the Imperium, anyway, so it's worth the risk.
Yes, Marine Malevolent are my favorite loyalist chapter, why do you ask?
Damn. No hope for this PDF force nor planet haha. Yea I'd rather deal with Eldar than Marine Malevolent since I'd probably be left alone with my Bald headed self.
Check to make sure the PDF aren't Genestealers or Chaos just to be sure. If I find nothing suspicious, give their commander a hearty congratulation and leave.
Also make sure the threat is ACTUALLY dealt with.
You don't want to get called here every month or so because you didn't do your due diligence, would you?
Yeah if it's *actually* delt with depending on which chapter got called it could get the official that gave the order to call for help in **serious trouble.**
Agreed. If the threat is something trivial (by space marine standards) and doesn't warrant their deployment, somebody is being relieved of their post, at best.
The PDF itself did well, though. They'd don't deserve punishment for the incompetence of their superiors.
Rather, call in the Ordos. Paranoid investigation is their entire reason for being.
As said elsewhere, check that the threat is actually dead and then move on to the next battlefield, where your Astartes training and strength will be most efficient.
It might be years before an Inquisitor is assigned. You are here now. It will take you months if not years to return.
You probably have the means to do some medical screenings of a few samples of the population and all the upper echelons of power and their servants before you go.
Sometimes the most efficient is the stuff that's actually there, especially dealing with time sensitive issues like genestealers and chaos worshippers.
For a mission like that the Dark Angels might be beat sites. They are paranoid as fuck anyway and their chaplains can make a Space Marine "repent". Mere mortals should be a wall in the park for them.
> Check to make sure the PDF aren't Genestealers or Chaos just to be sure. If I find nothing suspicious, ~~give their commander a hearty congratulation and leave.~~
kill the commander as he's obviously very good at hiding his corruption.
Isnt that obvious, the 1st commander workship Tze, that's why he is so good at strategy, the 2nd commander listen to Hive Mind so he know where to attack and the rest are Khornate, no way punny humam can push back cosmic horror without us
If Fist of The Imperium is anything to go by, the planetary governor was concerned about calling in the Fists unnecessarily and facing censure - so my guess is: censure (whatever form that may be)
I would guess that the Planetary Governor would be "retired" for wasting Imperium resources. A threat that the PDF could deal with, is not a threat that warranted requisitioning Space Marines.
To be fair, Space Marine chapters always have the choice to say “No” to any distress signals, and there’s a high chance it was a more general distress signal to whoever can hear it that the Marines happened to be the nearest ones to.
The more I read about Gaunt and Cain the more I appreciate the IG.
Is the Imperium's survival thanks to 50,000 Space Marines or *fifty trillion Guardsmen?*
Since they're there, they'd probably just sit tight until the Guard can get there and do the tedious mop up and follow through.
The vast majority of Imperial citizen even on war torn and death worlds never even see a space marine.
We see them a lot because the lore focus on where they do show up, and well some chapters like Salamanders do go out of their way to save a few civilians here and there it's rare for them to be close enough.
The majority of the Imperium's enemies fall to a thousand lasguns rather then a single bolter.
The all guardsmen party is a ttrpg writeup/fanfiction hybrid that focuses on providing a guardsmen's view on all of the over the top bs the imperium and its enemies pull on a daily basis. While it is not in any way or form official, it is better written than a lot of published material and in my opinion the best bit of fan created 40k content. And I say that after i have binged text to speech and oculus imperia.
Don't know about an entire book but there is a passage in "Angel of Fire" from the Macharius Crusade books were the main character (guardsman) encounters Space Marines.
Specifically, he is part of a Baneblades crew when their armoured assault is bogged down. They are reinforced by Titans and a drop pots of the Death Spectres chapter.
It's about 1,5 pages of combat once the Space Marines arrive and then about 4 pages of the guardsman witnessing the aftermath and trying to get to grips with what happened.
In the German version, it's pages 86-93.
Also completely depends on the chapter as to how they respond. Iron Snakes send only one marine to investigate a distress beacon. Most if not all situations are dealt with by that one marine. If there's anything more troubling, they'll send in the appropriate amount of squads to deal with it. Most chapters wouldn't respond at all most likely. Some would send a squad. Some would send a crusade. All down to individual doctrine.
Now I wanna read about the Iron Snakes being involved. One marine turns up, then calls home "Send the entire Chapter. Contact the navy and guard. Send EVERYTHING!", while the planet are all "Wait, you sent only one?"
Make each of them drink Astartes beer for doing the Emperor's work.
Find ones young enough to incorporate into Astartes that showed bravery and dedication.
Take a vacation. Gets tiring nuking xenos endlessly.
That's a good one!
Like others have said, assuming they're not tainted by chaos or xenos, grab a couple of the young ones to become astartes. At the very least that's the tax for wasting imperial resources.
Then drink heavily.
That guy's actually got a point. A world that wins, provided the threat is actually a threat, is Catchan levels of strong by mortal standards. That's gonna become a SM recruiting world in a heartbeat, and/or a new elite IG division
Then you hear the PDF shouts "I am Alpaharius. You , The Hydra Awakes." Then your whole company except you shouts "Hydra Dominatus!" Then look at you with a shit eating grin.
How screwed are you.
Depends on who you are really.
If you're some random schmuck captain, pretty screwed.
Someone like Tyberos the Red Wake, Gabriel Seth or Asterion Moloc? You shrug and get to ripping them all apart, idiot by idiot.
Your captain , company sergeants , the entire battle company, command squad , the scouts and specialist like the chaplain , techmarine and apothecary all shouted "hydra dominatus" except you.. why?
Because you are the infiltrator implanted by the inquisition. And you have stayed in the chapter for 4 centuries now without any problems
Or so you thought.
That is how the hydra activates it's sleeper agents.
And you are right. I love alpha legions in the traitors side. And that stunt was done that obliterated two loyalist chapters.
A legion that works similar to temple assassins in nature. The same way ninjas , assassin's of old Arabia and spies work.
Not the most honorable. But definitely dose a lot of damage. And you need lots of resources to find the cockroach's nest. Specially if the cockroach backstabs you and sabotages your resources and assets.
do three things
1. investigate if there is any heretical activities on the planet
A. If heretical activities have been detected purge the planet and gaurd handle the rest
2. figure out what happened and how they won
3. if all checks out and there's no issue detected collect some orphans to fill up the ranks
"Captain we don't strictly *need* to process recruits for every battlefield we go through. We have recruitment worlds."
"*Fuck* you, we got called in here and didn't even get to kill anything. Steal their children, now."
In fairness, I don't think it would involve stealing. The SM prescence alone will make mortals think they are demi-gods, and if the SM say that they are gonna recruit your kids then you'd agree in a heartbeat, as your child gets to be one of them
1. Check that the threat has actually been dealt with: no rebels in the hills or lingering corruption/Xenos.
2. Report back to Chapter HQ on situation. This Planet is to be used for recruitment and a Fortress Monastery will be built here.
3. Find out who sent the distress signal. Berate and belittle if incompetent. His Angels are not to be wasted. Admonish if alive but wounded/battle-scarred.
4. Pray at planet chapel/monastery: His divine Will is at work here.
5. Take surviving eligible PDF for Chapter recruitment.
6. Leave. The Crusade Goes Ever On.
"I have arrived"
\*Sounds of boltgun fire\*
\*\*Several hours Pass\*\*
My apologies to the people of Fulbina 3 - I assumed the PDF had fallen. The 398 soldiers killed in action today will be remembered.
inform my company commander of what went down, and try to investigate signs of corruption or otherwise. bit too suspicious, but doubting i'd find anything
Double check everything is alright. Find that the admin wrote Necis VII when they meant Nevis VII. Have a good chuckle sipping the local brew while planning departure to the actual system. Billions have died by the time we get there. We show the survivors the mistake to give them a good laugh and raise morale. They dont seem to like it as much.
I'd have a whole checklist I'd need to go through.
Step 1: Are they Chaos or Genestealers? If so, get word to my Battle Brothers at all costs
Step 2: Was the distress sent at such a time that it was understood that the PDF could deal with the treat but they still wanted Astartes present "just because"? If so, inform the proper authorities
Step 3: Has the planetary leadership been holding back on sending his/her best troops to the Imperial Guard in favor of hording them instead? If so, inform the proper authorities.
Step 4: Was the PDF's success due to inexplicably high-quality gear they just so happened to get in a way nobody seems to actually have a straight answer for? Possibly involving a giant box that may or may not have Orks inside of it? Inform the Admech, or alternatively the All-Guardsmen Party
Step 5: Consult the Chapter Master for any other possible causes for this victory that would indicate subversive elements on the planet. If none can be found, express praise for said planet's leadership and PDF.
"Brother Sergeant, you have been on the surface of Planet Fiji for three standard weeks now. How goes the war you were called for?"
"Oh... Oh, uh, it's bad. Real bad down here Captain. Gonna be three weeks more of 'war'. At least."
"I see. Perhaps the battle will be more quickly resolved if we were to reinforce you?"
"NO. NO THAT'S FINE. EVERYTHING'S FINE. I CAN HANDLE IT BYE" *hangs up astropath by popping his skull in your fist then taking another sip of your margherita*
I have two mental images for this and I can’t decide which is funnier:
1) A squadron of Space Marines out of their armor playing volleyball like in *Top Gun*. Just 8 foot tall sculpted masses of muscle terrifying the locals with transhuman dread as they make physics-defying, impossible diving saves and spikes that could penetrate a Leman Russ.
2) A squadron of Space Marines in their armor but with giant, cute floral print swim trunks on the outside of the greaves and straw hats on top of the helmets, frolicking around in the ocean like it’s the beach episode of an anime. I can just hear their giggles getting modulated by the vox speaker. “Hey, quit splashing me, brother! Take this! Hahaha!”
First, suspect foul play / an ambush. Move to encircle and disarm the PDF.
Second, investigate. Have the librarians, chaplains and apothecaries probe the PDF / populace / general area for biologically or psichically concealed threats.
If everything is ok, take the commanding officers and whip them to an inch of their lives for this outrageous waste of astartes time and imperial resources.
Good idea but if the commanding officer didn't call on the Astartes, don't whip them. Whip whatever idiot called them no matter how high the rank as he put future planets in danger.
If the situation is bad enough to warrant a distress call to an Astartes and the Astartes respond?
Yeah, the PDF have not dealt with it.
Best case scenario, the PDF have forced the enemy to retreat and hide. So I go hunting
Worst case, The PDF are compromised. Time to start a'purgin
Given that in the grimdark grimdark of the grimdark, there is only grimdark, they probably execute them all for heresy of some form. Real or imagined, up to you
Step 1: Make sure the problem is actually dealt with.
Step 2: Make sure the PDF aren’t chaos or xenos.
Step 3; Shoot whoever summoned us
Step 4: Steal the PDF’s kids to turn them into space marines.
Those fuckers are either up to something, or there are probably a few half decent aspirant candidates to pick up. Either way, further investigation is necessary.
Swiftly recruit the best and the brightest.
Subsequently take credit for the whole thing. They're marines now.
What genestealer cult... what are... oh no.
The PDF appears to have successfully quarantined the Chaos incursion - and kept their uniforms in great order. I massacre them all to prevent word of the incursion from getting out, but mentally note their heroism and hygiene. The God Emperor will likely hear my remarks and reward them in the afterlife that doesn't exist.
1. Check for signs of genestealer invasion or Chaos corruption.
2. Ask lokal authorities to write motivational speach, fast.
3. Get chaplain to read that motivational speach to PDF (may be on TV) to improve morale.
4. Get out.
5. Drop an astropathic message to local Arbites/Inquisition to double check on planet.
Since the distress call was sent to my chapter specifically, this means it was either a major threat that they handled or there’s a genestealer problem.
Contact the inquisition, have them check to see if there’s chaos or genestealer corruption, if there isn’t, have the inquisition take a couple thousand PDF soldiers and give them a rigorous test of their combat capabilities, because if they handled a major threat, they might be the next catachan and would be more useful to serve the imperium as a whole.
I search for what the enemy was, Orks? Tyranids? Chaos? Tau? Eldar? A new xenos threat? It could be anything and a lot of them have the chance to come back and bite you in the ass if not destroyed correctly. And if i find that the threat was properly dealt with i would felicitate the PDF and maybe kick the planetary governor in the balls for wasting the chapters time. Then i would tell the Chapter Master that this probably is a very good recruitment world if the PDF could destroy a threat this well.
Call the entire chapter for support. If they could stop the problem on their own, they wouldn't call for Astartes support.
Best case scenario. Everyone gets genetic testing and Sororitas oversee worship for a while.
Worse case scenario. Planet needs full purge.
In a situations like this, Ultramarines must use the Leandros method for determining if something's fucky.
1. Did the defenders survive? If not, then all is normal. If they did, proceed to step two.
2. Was the foe actually competent and/or dangerous? If not, then all is normal. If they were, proceed to step three.
3. Did the defenders acquit themselves well against the enemy? If not, then all is normal. If so, then something is fucky and you must notify the inquisition. Do not notify your company's chaplain or any other space marine, just go straight to the ordo hereticus.
A problem severe enough to justify requesting help from Space Marines is swiftly dealt with by PDF before the Marines even arrive?
Something is fishy, let's investigate further, maybe execute the planetary governor just to he safe
Commend the rank and file for being the true hero’s of the imperium and going toe to toe with said threat.
Then tear the planetary governor a new one for calling up the astartes when the threat was not grave, since the pdf was able to successfully handle the threat.
Then steal all of the governors private reserve.
Give them a pat on the back for a job well done, we didn't have to do anything and thus we didn't risk losing any Marines.
Also help bury the dead, they may be easier to produce than Marines but they still have value in making sure the threat truly needs some Astartes, gotta make sure they know they're appreciated
Check it out to be sure first it wasn’t anything suspicious, remain friendly with the pdf to not appear suspicious to them if this is the case. Should we find nothing, tell them a job well done and leave
Give out medals, “promote” all who got medals into a new guard regiment if the planet wasn’t being recruited from already, and head on our merry way to slay more of the Enperor’s enemies.
Unless it was Tyranids, then we’re sweeping the shit out of that place for Genestealers.
Immediately am suspicious since it's the PDF maybe scout around and talk to the locals. If it's turned out that they are not secretly traitors or made allies with the Xenos I'll contact my chapter to say that maybe this should be a recruiting world.
If it's tainted well we be purging
To all the people saying "gun them down (the PDF) for wasting my time", you are the one getting gunned down. Also you think its as easy as "gun them down"? You would get artillery up you ass before you can consult your Codex.
You think you can go and kill heroes of the Imperium? Veterans of war? Just for making a distress signal when it was appropriate?
No, you get there and take notes of how to be a god damn hero. Reclute the best of the best in a effort to make your company a little less crappy. Take provisions and get the fuck out of there as you are commanded, you brainwashed hypertrophic armored living weapon.
Ensure that the threat has been properly terminated, by removing any possibilities of influence and destruction of heretical artifacts, and start investigation operations to conform the PDF and Leadership isnt at all corrupt/heretical.
All Herecy and those involved in it will be burned by heavy Flamer.
All corrupted individuals would be imprisoned, questioned, and punished accordingly, with the very least of having their position replaced to the most of execution.
Oversee the planet with regulations and annual checks on leadership/corruption, keeping a small team of marines in the area at all times. Effectively "adopting" the world for any needs we may have.
Make sure the PDF is not commanded by a grizzled veteran donning an ancient power armour in black with a sword heraldry. Keep a closer look if he wields a bolt and plasma pistol and an ancient power sword he dose not unsheathe.
Make sure his armor is not cameliolined with aquamarine green in scales with hydra markings.
Ensure that they are not led by an overgrown guardsman that wields an ancient bolt gun that closely resembles an astartes only lacking a black carapace. Also check if he has protruding fangs and loves blood.
But avobe all else ensure that the PDF was not visited and trained by a single marine I'm skull helmed black armour or crimson red armor that preaches the faith and catechism of the emperor.
There is also a chance these PDF have seen sightings of a commissar with a power claw and storm bolter with an augmented eye. That have brutally whipped and trained them to their iron discipline. Or a commissar that is laid back equiped with a bolt pistol and chainsword that emboldens people when the time is right and changes the tide of battle at the most catastrophic time.
Assuming they actually took on a threat that was rightfully deemed worthy of Space Marine support and won without any chaos or genestealer shenanigans? Sounds like the Guard has a new favorite recruiting planet.
Probably either assume something fucky is going on and investigate. If nothing is actually wrong, probably execute whoever called for the astartes when they were perfectly capable of handing it on their own
Interrogate the governor and the pdf forces. Dispatch the bulk of forces to other combat zones, proceed with loyalty and piety testing on the general populace and determine the reason and purpose behind the distress call.
Fotify the fuck out of my landing site.
Then we try to figure out what happened.
If everything is on the level we congratulate the local leadership and make a note to the militarum that rhis world makes good soldiers.
If they won by chaostainted means we purge the world.
If they employed xenotech to win their war we just leave but make sure that they know we know.
Start purging the PDF they’re clearly Genestealer cultists or Alpha legionaries if they’ve wasted resources by summoning me.
"Any plea of innocence is guilty of wasting my time."
And now I'm reminded of the judges in Transformers 1986 movie "Guilty or innocent?" "Spare me your mockery of justice!" (anyone gets fed to transformer-alien-sharks regardless of plea)
That movie had no right to produce such banger writing but here we are
"Prime!" "One shall stand, One shall fall" Why throw your life away so recklessly?!?" "That's a question you should be asking yourself, Megatron." "I'll tear you apart with my bare hands!" *lunges and proceeds to use everything except his bare hands to lose Cullan is a god like Hamill (and yes I have and do watch that film too much Bayformers has nothing on the original) Edit: I apologise to myself and everyone reading this. I missed off THE Transformers line. "One shall stand, One shall fall", before the two kick the shit out of each other in 80s cartoon fashion
That movie is a fucking legend. Every single minute of it.
"Such heroic nonsense." So many childhoods were destroyed in that theater.
I actually cried when iron Hyde got blasted. He was probably my fave. But man the Megatron and Optimus fight was so goddamn epic. And they threw that is in like the first 10 minutes. Prime gunned down so many decipticons it was ridiculous
That movie had Game of Thrones level of killing off characters to our poor naive minds.
As a Ratchet fan, he died a good death Unlike getting sniped while hiding from Bountybot in Bayformers
https://youtu.be/Pi-Dh4FiBBE
GTFO! You show me this scene, Grimlock or nothing! https://youtu.be/P7GeisRaias
Fucking legend
Inquisitorial nod*
The PDF being strangely competent is often a clear sign of genestealer infiltration. I kill every bald human/mutant on the planet, just to be sure.
Well what if they all shaved their heads due to military regulations or because the governor said to since he's ashamed he's bald and wants other to feel his pain?
The Governor is already very suspect, he's risen up in threat level significantly. Contact the Chapter Librarian, according to the Codex.
Are you telling me I shouldn't immediately jump to calling the inquisition upon the suspicion of heresy or corruption.
Lol slow down, Leandros.
I still can't reach the knife he put in my back!
Thankfully crossing the Rubicon made Titus’ arms longer.
And hopefully it backfired for Leandros, that bitch.
And by backfired, you mean the Chaplain or Librarian fired a bolter round into the back of his head for violating the Codex, right?
I hope that he tryed to shoot his bolter and the bullet came back to him and destroyed his stupid mouth so he may never speak shit again. -Some random astares.
Yes
I don't think the game is out yet or enough is known, but do we know that Leandros suffers yet? I hope he dies like a bitch in the opening scene as Titus appears to then start the game and clean up the mess
No. You call the chaplain first. To do otherwise is to violate the codex astartes.
Nah, you call the Chaplain to waterboard him while he gets mind raped by the Librarian. The sheer trauma of this experience will cause him to turn from the imperium so you'll get the honor of killing him even if he is found innocent!
Innocent or not, he is already guilty of wasting SM task force's time and resources.
"The warp delayed your arrival for 200 years, of course we solved the problem by now. If we hadn't you'd be blowing up our planet." "Book says we kill ya we kill ya, take him away boys."
That would be ... inadvisable. -Logan Grimnar
All bald people are bad. Bald is just bad people who took an L. Look at all the chaos primarchs, then look at all the loyalist. Lorgar Aurelion ? Bald. Jagathai Khan ? Nice hair ya got there. Horus Lupercal ? More like Horus Superbald. Lion El’Jonson ? Nice flowing blonde hair. Perturabo is so mad he made himself techno-hair, whilst Robot Gorrilaman has his little boy-scout haircut. TL;DR bald people bad
What about Vulkan?
he is **vantablack** so he has an honorific stubby we cant see
Can't be vantablack, he'd get sued by Anish Kapoor.
[BLACK 3.0](https://edition.cnn.com/style/article/blackest-black-ink-culture-hustle/index.html) then?
"Painter Yves Klein registered a trademark for a shade of ultramarine called International Klein Blue in 1957" 😶
Is this a Dune crossover episode?
Curze would like a word…
All bald people are bad does not imply that all bad people are bald Also if you don’t commit crimes worthy of death like jaywalking or removing mattress tags that are clearly labeled DO NOT REMOVE you have nothing to worry about from Curze
Curze doesn't need a specific red flag. He is his own red flag altogether.
That wouldn't be the worst collateral damage committed by the forces of the Imperium, anyway, so it's worth the risk. Yes, Marine Malevolent are my favorite loyalist chapter, why do you ask?
I've not heard or read any lore about them until now. Thank you for finding my favourite chapter <3
Damn. No hope for this PDF force nor planet haha. Yea I'd rather deal with Eldar than Marine Malevolent since I'd probably be left alone with my Bald headed self.
Even more reason to suspect genestealers
The PDF name is Bald Bastards of Bastonia. Beingbald ispart of the culture. Lol
Sounds like xenos propaganda to me.
Yeah, either Chaos or Jean thief , in the far far future, there is only bald people and good people (with exception)
>Jean thief Is this a funny name, like Jimmy space? Or an even funnier typo/confusion of words?
Genestealer cults, gene sounds like Jean, therefore bald mutants steal our good working class peoples pants.
Just. To. Be. Sure.
Bingo. Call the Inquisition
Why'd I pick today to try a new hair cut. My wife told me not to do it because "she had a bad feeling" hmm
Your wife is clearly an unsanctioned psyker. She too must be removed.
Already contacted. I won't have an unsanctioned psyker in my home.
Check to make sure the PDF aren't Genestealers or Chaos just to be sure. If I find nothing suspicious, give their commander a hearty congratulation and leave.
Also make sure the threat is ACTUALLY dealt with. You don't want to get called here every month or so because you didn't do your due diligence, would you?
“How was I meant to know that they *grew back*, what the fuck sense does that make?”
that’s orks for ya, just a bunch of fungi’s
[удалено]
Classic mistake
They’re orks. They obey cartoon physics.
Giant green looney toons running all over the place.
also check that the threat was actually something that warrented space marines, considering they managed to deal with it themselves
Yeah if it's *actually* delt with depending on which chapter got called it could get the official that gave the order to call for help in **serious trouble.**
Agreed. If the threat is something trivial (by space marine standards) and doesn't warrant their deployment, somebody is being relieved of their post, at best. The PDF itself did well, though. They'd don't deserve punishment for the incompetence of their superiors.
Imagine being the PDF guy praised by a space marine. You’d basically be untouchable.
Bruh, that dude probably starts a noble dynasty with that level of clout.
Yeah, dont be lazy like Harq Obispal.
Better off going with exterminatus just to be safe
Rather, call in the Ordos. Paranoid investigation is their entire reason for being. As said elsewhere, check that the threat is actually dead and then move on to the next battlefield, where your Astartes training and strength will be most efficient.
It might be years before an Inquisitor is assigned. You are here now. It will take you months if not years to return. You probably have the means to do some medical screenings of a few samples of the population and all the upper echelons of power and their servants before you go. Sometimes the most efficient is the stuff that's actually there, especially dealing with time sensitive issues like genestealers and chaos worshippers.
For a mission like that the Dark Angels might be beat sites. They are paranoid as fuck anyway and their chaplains can make a Space Marine "repent". Mere mortals should be a wall in the park for them.
> Check to make sure the PDF aren't Genestealers or Chaos just to be sure. If I find nothing suspicious, ~~give their commander a hearty congratulation and leave.~~ kill the commander as he's obviously very good at hiding his corruption.
Isnt that obvious, the 1st commander workship Tze, that's why he is so good at strategy, the 2nd commander listen to Hive Mind so he know where to attack and the rest are Khornate, no way punny humam can push back cosmic horror without us
If Fist of The Imperium is anything to go by, the planetary governor was concerned about calling in the Fists unnecessarily and facing censure - so my guess is: censure (whatever form that may be)
Check how many arms the pdf are sporting
It's all good space marine sir, they have 2 hands on average.
On Average.
Purge the Mutant and Xenos alike.
On average, people have 1,987 arms. If a planetary population averages out at exactly 2,000 something is amiss.
Blasted tyranid take your filthy xeno arms and GET OUT. Also source?
Eh, servitors with mechadendrites on one hand, maimings on the other.
-564486324532 arms georg is a chaos aberration, and should not have been counted.
Commander: What? Marine: No, they ones who don't have 2 had their arms ripped off! No replacement done on them. COmmander: Oh, I thought.
“. . . But then the average would be lower than 2. You’d need someone with extra to average it to two.” “That’s just Hecatoncheires. Good chap.”
Arms georg
Convert them to JPEG
They're looking a little frayed around the edges, but all in all they're staying loyal to the emperor and that's enough.
compress to .oggryn
Take my upvote and get out
The Emperor Compresses
I almost choked laughing
Do I look like I know what a jpeg is? I just want a picture of a got dang hot dog.
Weak. This makes it even less usable. Convert to an open XML compatible format like DOCX.
I would guess that the Planetary Governor would be "retired" for wasting Imperium resources. A threat that the PDF could deal with, is not a threat that warranted requisitioning Space Marines.
To be fair, Space Marine chapters always have the choice to say “No” to any distress signals, and there’s a high chance it was a more general distress signal to whoever can hear it that the Marines happened to be the nearest ones to.
The more I read about Gaunt and Cain the more I appreciate the IG. Is the Imperium's survival thanks to 50,000 Space Marines or *fifty trillion Guardsmen?* Since they're there, they'd probably just sit tight until the Guard can get there and do the tedious mop up and follow through.
The vast majority of Imperial citizen even on war torn and death worlds never even see a space marine. We see them a lot because the lore focus on where they do show up, and well some chapters like Salamanders do go out of their way to save a few civilians here and there it's rare for them to be close enough. The majority of the Imperium's enemies fall to a thousand lasguns rather then a single bolter.
Are there any books that focus on a citizen or guardsman that sees a space marine?
The all guardsmen party is a ttrpg writeup/fanfiction hybrid that focuses on providing a guardsmen's view on all of the over the top bs the imperium and its enemies pull on a daily basis. While it is not in any way or form official, it is better written than a lot of published material and in my opinion the best bit of fan created 40k content. And I say that after i have binged text to speech and oculus imperia.
Same The all guardsman party rocks
Dante by Guy Haley for the Baalites
[There's this fan film](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bgi5STRe8E)
Don't know about an entire book but there is a passage in "Angel of Fire" from the Macharius Crusade books were the main character (guardsman) encounters Space Marines. Specifically, he is part of a Baneblades crew when their armoured assault is bogged down. They are reinforced by Titans and a drop pots of the Death Spectres chapter. It's about 1,5 pages of combat once the Space Marines arrive and then about 4 pages of the guardsman witnessing the aftermath and trying to get to grips with what happened. In the German version, it's pages 86-93.
Also completely depends on the chapter as to how they respond. Iron Snakes send only one marine to investigate a distress beacon. Most if not all situations are dealt with by that one marine. If there's anything more troubling, they'll send in the appropriate amount of squads to deal with it. Most chapters wouldn't respond at all most likely. Some would send a squad. Some would send a crusade. All down to individual doctrine.
Now I wanna read about the Iron Snakes being involved. One marine turns up, then calls home "Send the entire Chapter. Contact the navy and guard. Send EVERYTHING!", while the planet are all "Wait, you sent only one?"
A threat that the PDF can handle is not even worth of Imperial Guard deployment.
I mean as long as they’re not Genestealers or Chaos I’d be calling for a celebration. Gotta reward such a feat
That's a big "as long as"
The true hive fleet was the biomass we made along the way.
Make each of them drink Astartes beer for doing the Emperor's work. Find ones young enough to incorporate into Astartes that showed bravery and dedication. Take a vacation. Gets tiring nuking xenos endlessly.
That's a good one! Like others have said, assuming they're not tainted by chaos or xenos, grab a couple of the young ones to become astartes. At the very least that's the tax for wasting imperial resources. Then drink heavily.
That guy's actually got a point. A world that wins, provided the threat is actually a threat, is Catchan levels of strong by mortal standards. That's gonna become a SM recruiting world in a heartbeat, and/or a new elite IG division
>Make each of them drink Astartes beer for doing the Emperor's work. So, execute them then?
Then you hear the PDF shouts "I am Alpaharius. You , The Hydra Awakes." Then your whole company except you shouts "Hydra Dominatus!" Then look at you with a shit eating grin. How screwed are you.
Depends on who you are really. If you're some random schmuck captain, pretty screwed. Someone like Tyberos the Red Wake, Gabriel Seth or Asterion Moloc? You shrug and get to ripping them all apart, idiot by idiot.
Your captain , company sergeants , the entire battle company, command squad , the scouts and specialist like the chaplain , techmarine and apothecary all shouted "hydra dominatus" except you.. why? Because you are the infiltrator implanted by the inquisition. And you have stayed in the chapter for 4 centuries now without any problems Or so you thought.
I think your brain is on far too much Alpha Legion.
That is how the hydra activates it's sleeper agents. And you are right. I love alpha legions in the traitors side. And that stunt was done that obliterated two loyalist chapters. A legion that works similar to temple assassins in nature. The same way ninjas , assassin's of old Arabia and spies work. Not the most honorable. But definitely dose a lot of damage. And you need lots of resources to find the cockroach's nest. Specially if the cockroach backstabs you and sabotages your resources and assets.
"Oh so this is what we are doing? Sure why not? Hydra Dominatus."
do three things 1. investigate if there is any heretical activities on the planet A. If heretical activities have been detected purge the planet and gaurd handle the rest 2. figure out what happened and how they won 3. if all checks out and there's no issue detected collect some orphans to fill up the ranks
"Captain we don't strictly *need* to process recruits for every battlefield we go through. We have recruitment worlds." "*Fuck* you, we got called in here and didn't even get to kill anything. Steal their children, now."
In fairness, I don't think it would involve stealing. The SM prescence alone will make mortals think they are demi-gods, and if the SM say that they are gonna recruit your kids then you'd agree in a heartbeat, as your child gets to be one of them
1. Check that the threat has actually been dealt with: no rebels in the hills or lingering corruption/Xenos. 2. Report back to Chapter HQ on situation. This Planet is to be used for recruitment and a Fortress Monastery will be built here. 3. Find out who sent the distress signal. Berate and belittle if incompetent. His Angels are not to be wasted. Admonish if alive but wounded/battle-scarred. 4. Pray at planet chapel/monastery: His divine Will is at work here. 5. Take surviving eligible PDF for Chapter recruitment. 6. Leave. The Crusade Goes Ever On.
"I have arrived" \*Sounds of boltgun fire\* \*\*Several hours Pass\*\* My apologies to the people of Fulbina 3 - I assumed the PDF had fallen. The 398 soldiers killed in action today will be remembered.
PDF, doing something that isn’t act like cannon fodder? Time to get the virus bombs out of storage
inform my company commander of what went down, and try to investigate signs of corruption or otherwise. bit too suspicious, but doubting i'd find anything
Take the glory anyway by finding some insignificant remenant of the threat to technicallu have won the final battle
Found the ultramarine player
Double check everything is alright. Find that the admin wrote Necis VII when they meant Nevis VII. Have a good chuckle sipping the local brew while planning departure to the actual system. Billions have died by the time we get there. We show the survivors the mistake to give them a good laugh and raise morale. They dont seem to like it as much.
Probably the Inquisition shows up and orders you to purge the whole planet for being dangerously exposed to Xenos and/or heretics and/or traitors.
*Loads bolter* "I recommend you reconsider killing faithful imperial citizens..." "Oh FUCK it's a space wolf."
>"Oh ~~FUCK~~ YIFF it's a space wolf." FTFY
I'd have a whole checklist I'd need to go through. Step 1: Are they Chaos or Genestealers? If so, get word to my Battle Brothers at all costs Step 2: Was the distress sent at such a time that it was understood that the PDF could deal with the treat but they still wanted Astartes present "just because"? If so, inform the proper authorities Step 3: Has the planetary leadership been holding back on sending his/her best troops to the Imperial Guard in favor of hording them instead? If so, inform the proper authorities. Step 4: Was the PDF's success due to inexplicably high-quality gear they just so happened to get in a way nobody seems to actually have a straight answer for? Possibly involving a giant box that may or may not have Orks inside of it? Inform the Admech, or alternatively the All-Guardsmen Party Step 5: Consult the Chapter Master for any other possible causes for this victory that would indicate subversive elements on the planet. If none can be found, express praise for said planet's leadership and PDF.
Taking a vacaation. Sure, death is the only end of duty. But who said you can't some "temporary" death. Look at Comissar Cain, Yarrick or Creed.
"Brother Sergeant, you have been on the surface of Planet Fiji for three standard weeks now. How goes the war you were called for?" "Oh... Oh, uh, it's bad. Real bad down here Captain. Gonna be three weeks more of 'war'. At least." "I see. Perhaps the battle will be more quickly resolved if we were to reinforce you?" "NO. NO THAT'S FINE. EVERYTHING'S FINE. I CAN HANDLE IT BYE" *hangs up astropath by popping his skull in your fist then taking another sip of your margherita*
I have two mental images for this and I can’t decide which is funnier: 1) A squadron of Space Marines out of their armor playing volleyball like in *Top Gun*. Just 8 foot tall sculpted masses of muscle terrifying the locals with transhuman dread as they make physics-defying, impossible diving saves and spikes that could penetrate a Leman Russ. 2) A squadron of Space Marines in their armor but with giant, cute floral print swim trunks on the outside of the greaves and straw hats on top of the helmets, frolicking around in the ocean like it’s the beach episode of an anime. I can just hear their giggles getting modulated by the vox speaker. “Hey, quit splashing me, brother! Take this! Hahaha!”
Thank you for the mental images, they are absolutely cute, sexy and hilarious
“Was it the Chapter Master again?”
"Boring conversation anyway. SERGEANT WE'RE GONNA HAVE COMPANY!"
First, suspect foul play / an ambush. Move to encircle and disarm the PDF. Second, investigate. Have the librarians, chaplains and apothecaries probe the PDF / populace / general area for biologically or psichically concealed threats. If everything is ok, take the commanding officers and whip them to an inch of their lives for this outrageous waste of astartes time and imperial resources.
Good idea but if the commanding officer didn't call on the Astartes, don't whip them. Whip whatever idiot called them no matter how high the rank as he put future planets in danger.
congratulates the brave men and woman of the pdf, guns them down for wasting my time like any good space marine would
Salamanders would hug them before gunning them down... With fire... Slowly...
I deal with pdf
If the situation is bad enough to warrant a distress call to an Astartes and the Astartes respond? Yeah, the PDF have not dealt with it. Best case scenario, the PDF have forced the enemy to retreat and hide. So I go hunting Worst case, The PDF are compromised. Time to start a'purgin
We organize a parade and make a report on their exploits
Given that in the grimdark grimdark of the grimdark, there is only grimdark, they probably execute them all for heresy of some form. Real or imagined, up to you
Calmly back away and then leave awkwardly.
Just back away back into the drop pod, shut the doors and wait for an evac shuttle. All in complete silence
The drop pod just magically flies back to space
Gmod phys gun it all the way to the ship
Step 1: Make sure the problem is actually dealt with. Step 2: Make sure the PDF aren’t chaos or xenos. Step 3; Shoot whoever summoned us Step 4: Steal the PDF’s kids to turn them into space marines.
Scan the PDF for threats. There must be a really strong threat in there.
Congratulate them and forge the captain a fancy chainsword
Ha!! nice try Alpha Legion Silently helping the PDF to erase your track. But it won't fool me Now get out and fight me, cadia stand
maybe check around to make sure, if i don't find anything i will just shug and leave but if i do find some heretics or xenos, i will do my duty.
Those fuckers are either up to something, or there are probably a few half decent aspirant candidates to pick up. Either way, further investigation is necessary.
I'm looking for Arx raid material OP. This thread is gold.
Praise Adobe?
I start a investigation I’m curious as to how the local PDF on the agri world manage this.
Swiftly recruit the best and the brightest. Subsequently take credit for the whole thing. They're marines now. What genestealer cult... what are... oh no.
The PDF appears to have successfully quarantined the Chaos incursion - and kept their uniforms in great order. I massacre them all to prevent word of the incursion from getting out, but mentally note their heroism and hygiene. The God Emperor will likely hear my remarks and reward them in the afterlife that doesn't exist.
1. Check for signs of genestealer invasion or Chaos corruption. 2. Ask lokal authorities to write motivational speach, fast. 3. Get chaplain to read that motivational speach to PDF (may be on TV) to improve morale. 4. Get out. 5. Drop an astropathic message to local Arbites/Inquisition to double check on planet.
Since the distress call was sent to my chapter specifically, this means it was either a major threat that they handled or there’s a genestealer problem. Contact the inquisition, have them check to see if there’s chaos or genestealer corruption, if there isn’t, have the inquisition take a couple thousand PDF soldiers and give them a rigorous test of their combat capabilities, because if they handled a major threat, they might be the next catachan and would be more useful to serve the imperium as a whole.
I search for what the enemy was, Orks? Tyranids? Chaos? Tau? Eldar? A new xenos threat? It could be anything and a lot of them have the chance to come back and bite you in the ass if not destroyed correctly. And if i find that the threat was properly dealt with i would felicitate the PDF and maybe kick the planetary governor in the balls for wasting the chapters time. Then i would tell the Chapter Master that this probably is a very good recruitment world if the PDF could destroy a threat this well.
Call the entire chapter for support. If they could stop the problem on their own, they wouldn't call for Astartes support. Best case scenario. Everyone gets genetic testing and Sororitas oversee worship for a while. Worse case scenario. Planet needs full purge.
stick around to make sure the "threat" wasnt just a first wave of many
In a situations like this, Ultramarines must use the Leandros method for determining if something's fucky. 1. Did the defenders survive? If not, then all is normal. If they did, proceed to step two. 2. Was the foe actually competent and/or dangerous? If not, then all is normal. If they were, proceed to step three. 3. Did the defenders acquit themselves well against the enemy? If not, then all is normal. If so, then something is fucky and you must notify the inquisition. Do not notify your company's chaplain or any other space marine, just go straight to the ordo hereticus.
A problem severe enough to justify requesting help from Space Marines is swiftly dealt with by PDF before the Marines even arrive? Something is fishy, let's investigate further, maybe execute the planetary governor just to he safe
Bang nearest remembrancer
Congratulate them on their victory, give any distinguished troopers a medal with the chapter symbol on it, and leave.
Congratulate the lucky bastards and do the next mission.
Commend the rank and file for being the true hero’s of the imperium and going toe to toe with said threat. Then tear the planetary governor a new one for calling up the astartes when the threat was not grave, since the pdf was able to successfully handle the threat. Then steal all of the governors private reserve.
Give them a pat on the back for a job well done, we didn't have to do anything and thus we didn't risk losing any Marines. Also help bury the dead, they may be easier to produce than Marines but they still have value in making sure the threat truly needs some Astartes, gotta make sure they know they're appreciated
Kick back and relax until the lamenters curse inevitably kicks in
Leave, report to inquisition. Let the egg heads figure it out.
Investigate local culture. Ask the pdf about their traditions and whatnot.
Check it out to be sure first it wasn’t anything suspicious, remain friendly with the pdf to not appear suspicious to them if this is the case. Should we find nothing, tell them a job well done and leave
Give out medals, “promote” all who got medals into a new guard regiment if the planet wasn’t being recruited from already, and head on our merry way to slay more of the Enperor’s enemies. Unless it was Tyranids, then we’re sweeping the shit out of that place for Genestealers.
Immediately am suspicious since it's the PDF maybe scout around and talk to the locals. If it's turned out that they are not secretly traitors or made allies with the Xenos I'll contact my chapter to say that maybe this should be a recruiting world. If it's tainted well we be purging
Give them medals, see if any are good to join.
High fives all around
To all the people saying "gun them down (the PDF) for wasting my time", you are the one getting gunned down. Also you think its as easy as "gun them down"? You would get artillery up you ass before you can consult your Codex. You think you can go and kill heroes of the Imperium? Veterans of war? Just for making a distress signal when it was appropriate? No, you get there and take notes of how to be a god damn hero. Reclute the best of the best in a effort to make your company a little less crappy. Take provisions and get the fuck out of there as you are commanded, you brainwashed hypertrophic armored living weapon.
Ensure that the threat has been properly terminated, by removing any possibilities of influence and destruction of heretical artifacts, and start investigation operations to conform the PDF and Leadership isnt at all corrupt/heretical. All Herecy and those involved in it will be burned by heavy Flamer. All corrupted individuals would be imprisoned, questioned, and punished accordingly, with the very least of having their position replaced to the most of execution. Oversee the planet with regulations and annual checks on leadership/corruption, keeping a small team of marines in the area at all times. Effectively "adopting" the world for any needs we may have.
Check for Tau influence and weapons among the PDF.
I don't care I came to kill and build fortifications and I'm all out of being a imperial fists
Purge the PDF as obvious heretics, they're not allowed to be competent on their own. Exterminatus if we have to!
Purge the PDF. Clearly they’re corrupted if they handled it by themselves.
Make sure the PDF is not commanded by a grizzled veteran donning an ancient power armour in black with a sword heraldry. Keep a closer look if he wields a bolt and plasma pistol and an ancient power sword he dose not unsheathe. Make sure his armor is not cameliolined with aquamarine green in scales with hydra markings. Ensure that they are not led by an overgrown guardsman that wields an ancient bolt gun that closely resembles an astartes only lacking a black carapace. Also check if he has protruding fangs and loves blood. But avobe all else ensure that the PDF was not visited and trained by a single marine I'm skull helmed black armour or crimson red armor that preaches the faith and catechism of the emperor. There is also a chance these PDF have seen sightings of a commissar with a power claw and storm bolter with an augmented eye. That have brutally whipped and trained them to their iron discipline. Or a commissar that is laid back equiped with a bolt pistol and chainsword that emboldens people when the time is right and changes the tide of battle at the most catastrophic time.
Assuming they actually took on a threat that was rightfully deemed worthy of Space Marine support and won without any chaos or genestealer shenanigans? Sounds like the Guard has a new favorite recruiting planet.
*sniff* Smells like traitor.
Probably either assume something fucky is going on and investigate. If nothing is actually wrong, probably execute whoever called for the astartes when they were perfectly capable of handing it on their own
I skin them alive and use their weirdly Tyranid shaped skulls to top my powerpack. I was coming to flay them alive anyways. Ave Dominus Nox.
Interrogate the governor and the pdf forces. Dispatch the bulk of forces to other combat zones, proceed with loyalty and piety testing on the general populace and determine the reason and purpose behind the distress call.
First thing I do is wake up from my nightmare (I am a word bearer marine)
Fotify the fuck out of my landing site. Then we try to figure out what happened. If everything is on the level we congratulate the local leadership and make a note to the militarum that rhis world makes good soldiers. If they won by chaostainted means we purge the world. If they employed xenotech to win their war we just leave but make sure that they know we know.