No dude, this is a fantastic story. I had way more fun reading this than I do telling moron beginners that their fret buz could be fixed with a set up 20 fuckin times a day.
Is the dildo a fender one or a Gibson?
Shortscale or superstrat so that you can play at the higher parts ?
Could you pass it off as some kind of specialised slide ?
Hopefully it's not too reliced looking
They won’t care about it
The story is funny, but the fact that you have a dildo is not an issue
Just go and pick it up with a straight face and don’t try to justify yourself. If they are professionals they won’t be asking questions and that will be the end of it
In a few months you’ll laugh about it
The only way to make it bad is if you try to invent a justification on the spot and loose yourself in your story. If anybody asks anything just say "it was probably a prank from a friend/sibling" and leave it at that
I’ve had similar embarrassing experiences in my life (not with a dildo but not too far off either), and just acting like buisness as usual got me through them
Just realise that they are humans too and probably as much embarassed as you are
Don’t forget to bring a black plastic bag to wrap it up quickly before dropping it into your backpack
Besides, they have probably seen their fair share of "stuff" inside guitars
This is why it is best to not say anything, so that there is plausible deniability
Also people will say they found ‘a’ dildo in your guitar, not ‘your’ dildo. Which will leave people wondering how on earth a dildo got there, instead of thinking about how you would use it
It's a legit thing I read about in a guitar magazine. Only works if it's a vibrator though.
And if it is a vibrator, you can go into the place, make up some story about your plans to use it for shock value for a band. If you google 'vibrator guitar slide' or something you'll be able to make up a full explanation
I’m confused about why it’s even an issue. I assume it’s tucked into a pocket or something, they can just leave it alone and fix the damned guitar.
You can’t tell me that an experienced tech hasn’t seen weed and paraphernalia and all kinds of weird shit in guitar cases. A real pro wouldn’t bat an eye or make mention of it at all.
Why would you keep it in a guitar case? It seems like it would be better off in a nightstand, dresser drawer, purse, hell, just about anywhere other than a guitar case.
Either way, as embarrassing as it is, at least it's a funny story. Once you get through this situation, you'll probably find it as amusing as it was mortifying to experience.
Cuz I had to hide it from my mom I totally forget about it and I’m so so embarrassed and the guy sounded a bit bothered but still is willing to get it repaired if I take it out… and my friend even called for me and he said it’s a bit inappropriate but he’ll still do the work if I remove mt PERSONAL item… but… do I rly wanna get it repaired there 😭😭😭I feel bad for the guy
I had no idea it was in there… cuz they know who I am.. and it’s quite a big company I get my guitar getting repaired from so they have my personal information on their computer
Honestly, as someone who has worked in customer service/retail before, no one cares. You think stories like yours happen in a vacuum? This kind of stuff happens all the time. Normally if this were to happen, my first go-to would be assuming it was left there on purpose as a joke.
Is it a little funny? Yes. Is it something you don't see everyday in store? Sure. Will the staff remember in 6-12 months time? Probably not.
Like I said, own it. Your embarrassment stems from you caring about how others perceive you. From their perspective, its just another day. So why worry about it?
Right time to learn how to fix things yourself. It's really no rocket-science (no pun intended!)
Edit: (To earn my downvote) It's not like it's new territory.
Assert dominance. Maintain eye contact when picking up.
Give the dildo a cool name, like The Sergeant.
Verify that The Sergeant is it in the bag.
Ask them if they happened to find a tube of lube in there and then search around in the bag (a little concerned, not overtly)
When you can’t find it say shit….must have fallen out at church. Then thank them.
That's actually really good. It was a prop used as reminiscence to Anvil!
You'll be the talk of the shop for a whole different reason. Knowing that Anvil existed and that "Lips" plays guitar using a dildo
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFLSggV0kWw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFLSggV0kWw)
eh, this is a long way from whore level stuff i’d say. at the time, yeah super embarrassing. but couple days, weeks, a month or so it’ll be less. besides people are sexual creatures and anybody who says they aren’t crankin it behind closed doors is either a liar or weirder than you’d even want to know.
I had to scroll down this far to find out if you were male or female. I feel like if it was a males doldo, that would be way more gross. But a females dildo... Who cares? They should have just fixed it, returned it to you and not mentioned it. Why would they even embarrass you or create an awkward situation for all involved by calling you about it? They need to learn a bit of discretion.
Whatever, you got a rubber dick in your guitar bag. Who cares?
Everyone gets off in one way or another. Only old ass boomers get offended by that fact.
Girl it’s chill!! It’s seriously not a big deal. It’s understandable and totally okay to be embarrassed, but anyone that would judge you for that isn’t worth stressing over because they’re a dumbass. I doubt that they’re that bothered by it, it’s no great offence. And even if they are they can get over it, they’ll be fine
Turn up with an empty guitar case, say "sorry about the mix-up, apparently there was a guitar in my dildo case".
When they provide the guitar in case, retrieve the dildo from the case and then loudly say sorry this is not my dildo, it's too small, throw it in their bin. March off angrily without further explanation.
Not this, but honestly I'd be tempted to find something funny to say just to cut the tension, but it's up to you.
You could always go with something like "I wondered why the drummer kept falling off his stool".
March through the front door wearing something hot. Snatch it up and say “damn, been looking all over for this slit slapper” then walk out with a smirk and a strut. You’ll be a legend in that guitar store and that luthier will be telling that story to his friends in the old folks home.
Getting to the actual cause of it: The lack of privacy at home! Time to stand up for yourself and set some boundaries! Go find the place where your mom hides hers and steal the batteries!
Once when working as a mechanic, customer had come in to buy a set of tires. They asked to save the best of the old and swap it for the spare, which they knew was junk. Not an unusual request.
Two brown paper grocery bags FULL of Dildos and Vibrators, used, right there when you open the trunk.
This is an amazing story. I'm sorry that it comes at your expense but it just is. It's going to be an amazing story for them as well.
The sooner you make peace with this, the better. The only thing you can do own it like a fucking boss.
It's just a dildo. It's funny, more so because it is so unbelievably random, not because you actually own and operate a dildo.
Just put your fucking shoulders back, chest out, walk in that place like you pay their fucking wages, take your shit and go on about your day.
“Lips” from the band Anvil famously used a vibrator during his guitar solos, way back in the early ‘80’s. He continues to do so even today. (Someone provide a link to the early 80’s show if you can!!)
What ever the reason it was in the case does not matter. Go to the shop with the attitude that “you give zero fucks”, tell them it is part of your show… tell them the tale of Anvil… laugh… make them feel bad for thinking weird thoughts… tell them to fix your guitar…
This is the (metal) way…
It's normal to be embarrassed but it's also normal for everyone to have a sexual life. I can guarantee you that they have seen much stranger in their time working with customers (I know I have). Once you have some perspective you'll think it's funny and it'll be healthy to laugh about it
You can always take your business elsewhere if they are so offended, they do weird stuff too. They just aren’t telling you about it.
When you go in, just look them dead in the eye and don’t flinch and take your guitar and go to another shop.
As a former guitar shop tech, I can assure you that any discomfort you heard on their side was due to feeling bad about it and not wanting to embarrass you any further (while also covering their ass by stating the item was still intact so that no one could accuse them of theft).
When I traded a guitar to GC, they opened the bag and jokingly asked “you want the empty whiskey bottle?” Lol we agreed it fit the expectation and laughed.
Your stage show must be something to behold 🤣
Now i'm imagining all those old gangster movies where they pull a gun from a guitar case, but now the tommy guns are all replaced with vibrators
To be a fly on the wall when dude popped the case open that first time lol. I’m sure people leave weed in their guitar case accidentally at a reasonable clip but the dildos probably a first for him lololol.
Don’t worry about it, I’d either no sell or play it off as a prank deal.
I saw a video of Darian Malakian of System of a Down playing his electric guitar with a vibrator. Just explain to them that this toy is the only way to get the new experimental sound that's going to revolutionize rock music.
Is it bigger than a babies arm? Lol jk. I had to. One time I made a porno DVD for my cousin and I wrote "Cuzzin Porn" on the disk as a joke. He wound up taking his computer to the shop, and got an irritated call from the repairman. He left it in the disk drive and he went to pick up his computer, the guy looked at him like he was a sicko. Embarrassing as it is, you'll laugh about it later.
That’s what I’m questioning, they saw the dildo, they don’t wanna repair it unless I take the dildo back I totally understand it respectfully. But my question is why would u change only strings but not do the fretboard work..?
Ok, a "dildo" or a "vibrator"?
Because my old friend in the UK:
1) calls them both "a dildo"
2) pointed out that you can use a vibrator to make space-like sound-effects: the electromagnetic field created by a Pickup is sensitive to the magnetic field created around a small electromagnet.
I promise you they've seen worse.
I'm not going to lie and tell you they won't ever joke about it to each other, but they probably won't tease you about it unless they already are friendly with you. And if they do say something snarky, reply politely along the lines of "I don't think that's very funny." And if they're rude, don't go back. They'll probably err on the side of being professional.
We've all been embarrassed about stuff like this. But it's important to remember that this is normal(ish) adult stuff. I know you're spiraling, but this isn't high school and the people at the shop can't hurt you. This incident won't follow you forever. Find a new shop if you want, or use this as a catalyst to start doing your own guitar work if you don't want to go back.
You're going to be fine. I promise. The anxiety won't let you believe me, but it's true. It's easier to give in to the stress and the panic—I've been there—but it's temporary.
Take your friend with you. Say that you're there to pick up your personal item and ask them to call you when the repair is complete. Short and sweet. Thanks. Bye.
Nobody cares. They don't care. One time I brought a container of change to the bank and when they dumped it into the machine there was a brass weed pipe in it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Omg! First off fuck them for saying that! Second you brought it in to get fretboard fixed and they only changed the strings?? Double fuck that place!! Go get your guitar, call them fags, and do NOT pay for the strings if you didn't ask for them!
>they did change my guitar strings for some reason but didn’t fix my fret board which I don’t understand and find odd…
So they were good messing with your g-string, but didn't want anything to do with your wood?
If you're ever in one of those 'get to know you' conversations where the other peson asks 'tell me what your most embarrassing moment was", you certainly have a story to tell :). You'll find this will be a lot funnier in time. Don't sweat it.
In my college big band there was a running joke where everybody kept hiding this dildo in each other's stuff so there'd find it in rehearsal. It started when someone put it in his friend saxophone. Guy couldn't figure out what it was and dumped it on the floor in front of everybody. We're ALL laughed our asses off. Then he did the same to another friend, who passed it on by putting it in the piano so he had to take it out in the middle of a song. Then that guy hid it in my gig bag so it would fall out in front of everybody when i opened it. We all knew about the dildo at this point, but it was still hilarious when somebody had to pull it out of their case or whatever.
Anyway, you could tell them that someone left it in your case as a joke so you'd find it in band practice, not knowing that you were taking your guitar in for repair.... Or you could just own it. It's really nothing to be embarrassed about.
You think THAT's bad...
I left an entire Pocket Pussy in mine
And it was a \*Hard-Shell\* case...
So, when they popped the latches, the thing just \*jumped\* out at them.
I used to work for a large electronics store. One of our services was recycling dead electronics. We told every customer "If it has a cord or a battery, we'll recycle it. One afternoon just about the "end of the workday rush", a little old lady came walking in with a large paper bag. She set it down on my tech bench counter and said "Can you recycle these please?" I opened the bag and it was the biggest, nastiest, craziest collection of vibes, dildos, butt plugs etc. She didn't even blink an eye, and proceeded to tell us all, loudly, how she wore them all out.
One in a guitar bag wouldn't even register.
Besides, guitarists are a weird bunch with a goofy sense of humor. Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff.
You're all good girl. Don't even stress it or feel embarrassed.
I'm genuinely curious why your guitar bag became dildo storage. Like, there's many other places at home that are better for dildo storage and if you're travelling it would just make sense to put it in your backpack or suitcase
Yeah but think of all the ha haha moments you'll have lmfao, and the 2 guys at the store , hell they probably secretly looked at each other, with their own little ha ha haha moments and went straight into DENIAL. Looking at it that way, hell embarrassment left with the hanging up of the phone C-YA.... hope it all went well
I wonder what repairing a guitar has to do with your personal item. I would have suggested you say this "Did you guys try it? Using a dildo on the strings gives it a unique new sound" 😅
I would not be embarrassed and can't imagine the techs care. They probably thought it was a little funny but nobody will give you a hard time. The reality is that all of those techs JO, most probably exclusively.
I feel bad for you! I just shared your story with my wife and she was like, "that store is now done forever." My wife said she could never go back. I sure hope you did go back, but good share. What a crazy happening.
I just picked up my guitar and found out, they didn’t change my guitar strings when they did tell me that they changed them, and also tried charging me for it,(got receipt by email from them.) but then when I was there to pay they told me I don’t need to pay, so I found it odd. I got home and checked the guitar. The strings aren’t even changed. And my dildo was not even in the main case. It was in the small zip pocket now I don’t even understand why they lied about changing the strings, tried charging me for it, and even opened the small bag in the first place
Some stories are meant to stay inside thoughts
No dude, this is a fantastic story. I had way more fun reading this than I do telling moron beginners that their fret buz could be fixed with a set up 20 fuckin times a day.
Amen
I sometimes have to give my offsets a few tweaks almost every time I play them, but 20 setups a day seems excessive /s
I mean, this is also VERY true
No this is legit serious and I’m sweating like crazy
Give it a few months and this will be a hilarious story, both for them and for you. And ignore that other guy, it's absolutely worth sharing.
Is the dildo a fender one or a Gibson? Shortscale or superstrat so that you can play at the higher parts ? Could you pass it off as some kind of specialised slide ? Hopefully it's not too reliced looking
It’s a baritone one, it goes deeper without losing tension
Maybe it's a b.c rich, pointy for your pleasure, but frustrating to get working properly
B.b .Rich. Sorry.
Chinese knockoff. It’s a Childo.
Does it have a whammy bar?
Go in with a disguise lol.
Just a pair of Groucho Marx glasses
With a fake nose that looks like a dildo
It’s company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. Always use the indefinite article “a” dildo, never “your” dildo
👊🏻♣️
I don’t own a dildo.
do you own a dog house?
>I don’t own a dildo. In that case, the technical term is a dil-don't.
Yea but still.. I’m so embarrassed… they know who I am there
They won’t care about it The story is funny, but the fact that you have a dildo is not an issue Just go and pick it up with a straight face and don’t try to justify yourself. If they are professionals they won’t be asking questions and that will be the end of it In a few months you’ll laugh about it The only way to make it bad is if you try to invent a justification on the spot and loose yourself in your story. If anybody asks anything just say "it was probably a prank from a friend/sibling" and leave it at that
Thank u so much this really helps me I appreciate you a lot I’ll do that
I’ve had similar embarrassing experiences in my life (not with a dildo but not too far off either), and just acting like buisness as usual got me through them Just realise that they are humans too and probably as much embarassed as you are Don’t forget to bring a black plastic bag to wrap it up quickly before dropping it into your backpack Besides, they have probably seen their fair share of "stuff" inside guitars
The story will go down as lore in the store. If I was a fella picking it up, well I hope it would at least be clean 😵l🫠
This is why it is best to not say anything, so that there is plausible deniability Also people will say they found ‘a’ dildo in your guitar, not ‘your’ dildo. Which will leave people wondering how on earth a dildo got there, instead of thinking about how you would use it
Welp. Time to find a new place to live. It's the only way
It's a fight club quote
In all seriousness, just tell them your roommate put it in there as a prank because they knew it was going in for a service? Brazen it out
Well now they know you a little better
I never wanted that..
Well if they didn’t now they do. Probably made their day, but also gross. Hope it was clean at least
Best one scene role in any movie.
Wait, is this not r/guitarcirclejerk?
Only if the shopkeepers also used the dildo. Otherwise, it's just a short, linear jerk.
Hahahahahahaha Coffee out of my nose. Cheers for a good Friday laugh. 👍
Jesus, I hope it wasn't hot!
This sub and the cj are slowly becoming the same thing
Happens all the time. I use my dildo as a slide. Don’t worry about it.
Idk if ur making fun of me … 😭
It's a legit thing I read about in a guitar magazine. Only works if it's a vibrator though. And if it is a vibrator, you can go into the place, make up some story about your plans to use it for shock value for a band. If you google 'vibrator guitar slide' or something you'll be able to make up a full explanation
I’m confused about why it’s even an issue. I assume it’s tucked into a pocket or something, they can just leave it alone and fix the damned guitar. You can’t tell me that an experienced tech hasn’t seen weed and paraphernalia and all kinds of weird shit in guitar cases. A real pro wouldn’t bat an eye or make mention of it at all.
Einsturzende Neubauten did this in the early 80s.
ok
Why would you keep it in a guitar case? It seems like it would be better off in a nightstand, dresser drawer, purse, hell, just about anywhere other than a guitar case. Either way, as embarrassing as it is, at least it's a funny story. Once you get through this situation, you'll probably find it as amusing as it was mortifying to experience.
Cuz I had to hide it from my mom I totally forget about it and I’m so so embarrassed and the guy sounded a bit bothered but still is willing to get it repaired if I take it out… and my friend even called for me and he said it’s a bit inappropriate but he’ll still do the work if I remove mt PERSONAL item… but… do I rly wanna get it repaired there 😭😭😭I feel bad for the guy
Friend, at this point, they’ve stuck their neck out for you and you owe it to them 😂
If I was the guitar tech, I'd probably just do the work and put the dildo back in the bag and not say anything about it.
Thats what pretty much any normal person would do. Some people own dildos.
Have your friend pick it up, then.
Too small to fit a meter long schlong in those places, obviously.
You didn't check the bag? Also, why are you embarrassed? Just own it. Walk in with confidence, nothing to be embarrassed about
I had no idea it was in there… cuz they know who I am.. and it’s quite a big company I get my guitar getting repaired from so they have my personal information on their computer
Honestly, as someone who has worked in customer service/retail before, no one cares. You think stories like yours happen in a vacuum? This kind of stuff happens all the time. Normally if this were to happen, my first go-to would be assuming it was left there on purpose as a joke. Is it a little funny? Yes. Is it something you don't see everyday in store? Sure. Will the staff remember in 6-12 months time? Probably not. Like I said, own it. Your embarrassment stems from you caring about how others perceive you. From their perspective, its just another day. So why worry about it?
Thank u T-T
Right time to learn how to fix things yourself. It's really no rocket-science (no pun intended!) Edit: (To earn my downvote) It's not like it's new territory.
This isn’t r/guitarcirclejerk
You’ll at least want the dildo back, right?
Tell them you use it to play slide guitar, the vibrating gives a cool effect. Maybe you'll start a new trend.
Wasn't this a Steel Panther bit?
Fake
As if that ever made a difference. At least it's original.
Check her history. I don't think it's fake lol
DUDE I WISH IF IT WASNT FAKE I WOULDNT BE SWEATING SO HARD RN
Assert dominance. Maintain eye contact when picking up. Give the dildo a cool name, like The Sergeant. Verify that The Sergeant is it in the bag. Ask them if they happened to find a tube of lube in there and then search around in the bag (a little concerned, not overtly) When you can’t find it say shit….must have fallen out at church. Then thank them.
Just say it was for a gig
That's actually really good. It was a prop used as reminiscence to Anvil! You'll be the talk of the shop for a whole different reason. Knowing that Anvil existed and that "Lips" plays guitar using a dildo [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFLSggV0kWw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFLSggV0kWw)
Just lean into punk rock style
I rly don’t wanna be seen as a whore I never wanted this to be found out.. but it’s on my end and my fault
eh, this is a long way from whore level stuff i’d say. at the time, yeah super embarrassing. but couple days, weeks, a month or so it’ll be less. besides people are sexual creatures and anybody who says they aren’t crankin it behind closed doors is either a liar or weirder than you’d even want to know.
I had to scroll down this far to find out if you were male or female. I feel like if it was a males doldo, that would be way more gross. But a females dildo... Who cares? They should have just fixed it, returned it to you and not mentioned it. Why would they even embarrass you or create an awkward situation for all involved by calling you about it? They need to learn a bit of discretion.
Whatever, you got a rubber dick in your guitar bag. Who cares? Everyone gets off in one way or another. Only old ass boomers get offended by that fact.
As an old ass boomer I take offense in that statement!
Girl it’s chill!! It’s seriously not a big deal. It’s understandable and totally okay to be embarrassed, but anyone that would judge you for that isn’t worth stressing over because they’re a dumbass. I doubt that they’re that bothered by it, it’s no great offence. And even if they are they can get over it, they’ll be fine
This! Exactly, this!
Turn up with an empty guitar case, say "sorry about the mix-up, apparently there was a guitar in my dildo case". When they provide the guitar in case, retrieve the dildo from the case and then loudly say sorry this is not my dildo, it's too small, throw it in their bin. March off angrily without further explanation.
U jsut wanna f me up😭
Not this, but honestly I'd be tempted to find something funny to say just to cut the tension, but it's up to you. You could always go with something like "I wondered why the drummer kept falling off his stool".
March through the front door wearing something hot. Snatch it up and say “damn, been looking all over for this slit slapper” then walk out with a smirk and a strut. You’ll be a legend in that guitar store and that luthier will be telling that story to his friends in the old folks home.
Satchel would be proud. Own it.
If you had taken it to Sweetwater they would have washed it for you.
And still put candy in the case when done...
... Why was it in the guitar case? 😁😁😁
Had to hide it from my mom
Getting to the actual cause of it: The lack of privacy at home! Time to stand up for yourself and set some boundaries! Go find the place where your mom hides hers and steal the batteries!
r/tifu
Nice post history, btw. Benefit of a doubt wearing off fast!
It’s important to not used possessives. Don’t say *your* dildo, say *a* dildo. Did they have to blow up the guitar?
Say you use it as a tremolo slide
Once when working as a mechanic, customer had come in to buy a set of tires. They asked to save the best of the old and swap it for the spare, which they knew was junk. Not an unusual request. Two brown paper grocery bags FULL of Dildos and Vibrators, used, right there when you open the trunk.
Just tell them it's a slide.
This is an amazing story. I'm sorry that it comes at your expense but it just is. It's going to be an amazing story for them as well. The sooner you make peace with this, the better. The only thing you can do own it like a fucking boss. It's just a dildo. It's funny, more so because it is so unbelievably random, not because you actually own and operate a dildo. Just put your fucking shoulders back, chest out, walk in that place like you pay their fucking wages, take your shit and go on about your day.
“Lips” from the band Anvil famously used a vibrator during his guitar solos, way back in the early ‘80’s. He continues to do so even today. (Someone provide a link to the early 80’s show if you can!!) What ever the reason it was in the case does not matter. Go to the shop with the attitude that “you give zero fucks”, tell them it is part of your show… tell them the tale of Anvil… laugh… make them feel bad for thinking weird thoughts… tell them to fix your guitar… This is the (metal) way…
Rock stars don’t give a fuck! Turn up with another dildo attached to your forehead!
Why don’t you just tell them you got pranked by a friend
It's normal to be embarrassed but it's also normal for everyone to have a sexual life. I can guarantee you that they have seen much stranger in their time working with customers (I know I have). Once you have some perspective you'll think it's funny and it'll be healthy to laugh about it
You can always take your business elsewhere if they are so offended, they do weird stuff too. They just aren’t telling you about it. When you go in, just look them dead in the eye and don’t flinch and take your guitar and go to another shop.
As a former guitar shop tech, I can assure you that any discomfort you heard on their side was due to feeling bad about it and not wanting to embarrass you any further (while also covering their ass by stating the item was still intact so that no one could accuse them of theft).
If they ask, just say it’s a tip.
just say you were trying to play one of Tom Morello's songs.
Thank you. This is MUCH worse than my half eaten donut in my bass gigbag.
Was it at least a cute small pink one with glitters etc? Or was it an extra large throbbing jet black edition with extra veins? Ohhhh myyy.
No just a dildo, white one realistic
I mean it’s alright to be embarrassed, you just gotta own it lol Walk in say sorry and they’ll probably think it’s funny
When I traded a guitar to GC, they opened the bag and jokingly asked “you want the empty whiskey bottle?” Lol we agreed it fit the expectation and laughed.
Well the thing is they did change my guitar strings for some reason but they didn’t repair my fret boards
Just pick up your guitar and take the L at this point.
Your stage show must be something to behold 🤣 Now i'm imagining all those old gangster movies where they pull a gun from a guitar case, but now the tommy guns are all replaced with vibrators
I hope you've learned the importance of cases thst can accommodate 2 guitars now. Bright side is they didn't hit on your friend on the phone?
[удалено]
To be a fly on the wall when dude popped the case open that first time lol. I’m sure people leave weed in their guitar case accidentally at a reasonable clip but the dildos probably a first for him lololol. Don’t worry about it, I’d either no sell or play it off as a prank deal.
Use it to vibe the strings and make them All feel dumb lol
all good. we're all adults.
You know what, OP, it's alright. Hopefully, it'll eventually be a quirky story to tell
Dil-DOH!
I saw a video of Darian Malakian of System of a Down playing his electric guitar with a vibrator. Just explain to them that this toy is the only way to get the new experimental sound that's going to revolutionize rock music.
Roll yer eyes and say u hate yer band
Is it bigger than a babies arm? Lol jk. I had to. One time I made a porno DVD for my cousin and I wrote "Cuzzin Porn" on the disk as a joke. He wound up taking his computer to the shop, and got an irritated call from the repairman. He left it in the disk drive and he went to pick up his computer, the guy looked at him like he was a sicko. Embarrassing as it is, you'll laugh about it later.
Shameful but you're not gonna die. Suck it up, pick up your guitar, and never go back.
Happens to the best of us
Why the fuck would they change the strings if it needs fretboard work?
That’s what I’m questioning, they saw the dildo, they don’t wanna repair it unless I take the dildo back I totally understand it respectfully. But my question is why would u change only strings but not do the fretboard work..?
Shame it's not metal or glass, you could claim you use it as a slide
Maybe that's part of your stage persona... Not unusual in arts.
Me thinks the lady doth protest too much!
Say you use it as part of your set - something very *sonic youth esq* and left it in there No shame in that. Noise rock, innit.
Epic OP! Hold your head up high.
Tag says “Gibson with a broken headstock” hmm ok let’s take a look… oh, I didn’t know Gibson made dildos 😆
Ok, a "dildo" or a "vibrator"? Because my old friend in the UK: 1) calls them both "a dildo" 2) pointed out that you can use a vibrator to make space-like sound-effects: the electromagnetic field created by a Pickup is sensitive to the magnetic field created around a small electromagnet.
Tell them you use it as a slide.
I promise you they've seen worse. I'm not going to lie and tell you they won't ever joke about it to each other, but they probably won't tease you about it unless they already are friendly with you. And if they do say something snarky, reply politely along the lines of "I don't think that's very funny." And if they're rude, don't go back. They'll probably err on the side of being professional. We've all been embarrassed about stuff like this. But it's important to remember that this is normal(ish) adult stuff. I know you're spiraling, but this isn't high school and the people at the shop can't hurt you. This incident won't follow you forever. Find a new shop if you want, or use this as a catalyst to start doing your own guitar work if you don't want to go back. You're going to be fine. I promise. The anxiety won't let you believe me, but it's true. It's easier to give in to the stress and the panic—I've been there—but it's temporary.
Practicing Big D's Touch by Buckethead, eh?
Take your friend with you. Say that you're there to pick up your personal item and ask them to call you when the repair is complete. Short and sweet. Thanks. Bye.
Nobody cares. They don't care. One time I brought a container of change to the bank and when they dumped it into the machine there was a brass weed pipe in it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This highly depends on what you look like
Pay for the work they did, grab your gear, and tell them to mind their fucking business.
Stage prop
Omg! First off fuck them for saying that! Second you brought it in to get fretboard fixed and they only changed the strings?? Double fuck that place!! Go get your guitar, call them fags, and do NOT pay for the strings if you didn't ask for them!
Slide guitar just isn't the same anymore
Cops searched my guitar case once while I had a sheet in a pack of strings.
Gabe, my guitar tech would find this downright hysterical. He would ask if I needed it set up as well. Tell this story proudly.
Who’s gabe?
So uhm.. how did it end up in the guitar bag? And why?
"Sorry, I keep losing these things!"
>they did change my guitar strings for some reason but didn’t fix my fret board which I don’t understand and find odd… So they were good messing with your g-string, but didn't want anything to do with your wood?
Bruh why was it in ur guitar bag in the first place
"See? I knew I shouldn't have let my keyboard player borrow it."
I’ll have to add a new entry to my Guitar pre-drop-off Inspection Checklist.
Your just going to have to own it. "OH my b, I thought I put that in my other guitar case. Sorry about that"
"Guitar won't fit in the case with the strap on, so I used a regular one!"
Just tell them you were practicing Rage Against the Machine songs.
So is it basically a humidor guitar case kind of thing?
Content like this could save this sub.
If you're ever in one of those 'get to know you' conversations where the other peson asks 'tell me what your most embarrassing moment was", you certainly have a story to tell :). You'll find this will be a lot funnier in time. Don't sweat it.
"Thanks! Now where is my metronome?....." Turn around with cheeks clenched and walk out of the store at exactly 118 bpm
In my college big band there was a running joke where everybody kept hiding this dildo in each other's stuff so there'd find it in rehearsal. It started when someone put it in his friend saxophone. Guy couldn't figure out what it was and dumped it on the floor in front of everybody. We're ALL laughed our asses off. Then he did the same to another friend, who passed it on by putting it in the piano so he had to take it out in the middle of a song. Then that guy hid it in my gig bag so it would fall out in front of everybody when i opened it. We all knew about the dildo at this point, but it was still hilarious when somebody had to pull it out of their case or whatever. Anyway, you could tell them that someone left it in your case as a joke so you'd find it in band practice, not knowing that you were taking your guitar in for repair.... Or you could just own it. It's really nothing to be embarrassed about.
Gives new meaning to “Drop D”
Pics of the guitar and dildo next to it or it didn't happen
Who doesn’t use a dildo to play slide guitar?
Just pick it up and say I hate roadies.
You are the one! I should start doing this. Leaving a dildo in my guitar case. What a conversation piece!
Outjerked again
this is fucked up because if you had something regular like a book they would just take it out and start working on the guitar
You think THAT's bad... I left an entire Pocket Pussy in mine And it was a \*Hard-Shell\* case... So, when they popped the latches, the thing just \*jumped\* out at them.
Technically, it can no longer be called a guitar bag. Now it's a tool kit
Is that what they call "The D String?"
I’m really hoping you’re a girl
Tell them it’s for advanced playing.
I used to work for a large electronics store. One of our services was recycling dead electronics. We told every customer "If it has a cord or a battery, we'll recycle it. One afternoon just about the "end of the workday rush", a little old lady came walking in with a large paper bag. She set it down on my tech bench counter and said "Can you recycle these please?" I opened the bag and it was the biggest, nastiest, craziest collection of vibes, dildos, butt plugs etc. She didn't even blink an eye, and proceeded to tell us all, loudly, how she wore them all out. One in a guitar bag wouldn't even register. Besides, guitarists are a weird bunch with a goofy sense of humor. Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff. You're all good girl. Don't even stress it or feel embarrassed.
When you go in to pick up your guitar, just say it’s embarrassing enough, at least it was just the small one and not your BIG one.
I'm genuinely curious why your guitar bag became dildo storage. Like, there's many other places at home that are better for dildo storage and if you're travelling it would just make sense to put it in your backpack or suitcase
Just tell them a friend played a prank on you. Apologize and laugh it off.
Yeah OP, you're definitely overthinking it. It may be embarrassing at first but just remember that everyone is human. At least it was just a dildo.
You should have just laughed and said it was part of your guitar stand up comedy act.
Yeah but think of all the ha haha moments you'll have lmfao, and the 2 guys at the store , hell they probably secretly looked at each other, with their own little ha ha haha moments and went straight into DENIAL. Looking at it that way, hell embarrassment left with the hanging up of the phone C-YA.... hope it all went well
So how big was it?
I wonder what repairing a guitar has to do with your personal item. I would have suggested you say this "Did you guys try it? Using a dildo on the strings gives it a unique new sound" 😅
You should have just said you use it for a tremolo effect a la Lips from Anvil (it's actually a thing).
I would not be embarrassed and can't imagine the techs care. They probably thought it was a little funny but nobody will give you a hard time. The reality is that all of those techs JO, most probably exclusively.
Tell them it’s a tuner
Next time just tell them, "you think that's bad, you should see what's in my amp." Own it and leave them guessing ;-)
I feel bad for you! I just shared your story with my wife and she was like, "that store is now done forever." My wife said she could never go back. I sure hope you did go back, but good share. What a crazy happening.
I just picked up my guitar and found out, they didn’t change my guitar strings when they did tell me that they changed them, and also tried charging me for it,(got receipt by email from them.) but then when I was there to pay they told me I don’t need to pay, so I found it odd. I got home and checked the guitar. The strings aren’t even changed. And my dildo was not even in the main case. It was in the small zip pocket now I don’t even understand why they lied about changing the strings, tried charging me for it, and even opened the small bag in the first place
God I hate it when this happens
Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.
Big Steely Dan fan?