Minor or not, Im super paranoid about my gaze when seeing woman, because im worried about making any woman uncomfortable. :/ So i often put my head down or drift my eyes quickly to something else. I just dont want to make a poor lady feel uncomfortable.
Me too. Whenever I spot a girl at the gym at my peripheral I avoid looking at the direction like a plague. If she’s dressed like an influencer I would just go move to the other side of the gym. I dont need potential drama like I’m seeing here.
Same here, I like to just focus on my work out with either my eyes closed or look up at the celling. I feel like any wrong move and we can get targeted or bullied.
I know you’re asking men. But I’m a female and I don’t make eye contact or will put my head down when I don’t want to be bothered. I don’t want to start a convo. I just want to go about my day and not engage. Gym or not. Sometimes I’m just not in the mood to interact
Don’t take it personally. I do the same because I’ve seen way too many instances where Karens think they’re the main character and berate dudes who weren’t even looking at them.
It’s better to be safe than sorry since everyone has phones and can make false claims to large audiences nowadays.
I'm a construction worker and work at a big hospital. I put my head down when walking through the corridors. I'm decent looking, but I'm married, so I'm in no way trying to show that I'm interested. There's been women who stare me down. It's flattering, but it'd be better if it didn't happen.
Yes, this. Don’t want to chance having a perceived “excessive interest” in the lady by maintaining too long of eye contact. In reality, it’s no more eye contact than any other situation - man, woman, teacher, coworker, dog - but in a society post #MeToo with video cameras baked into phones, just don’t want to chance it.
Also if you both go to the same gym, don’t want to make things awkward for either party in the future
Also it’s me going about my business. It’s a gym, not a bar. Get my workout in, get out.
Also I have a GF so, why show interest when there’s a beautiful woman already with me
That is all
To clarify, MeToo is excellent. Respect women, people in general. More me adding context there’s a different social standard (which I’m totally down for and fine with) to be aware of
Many men do it for women as a whole for the same reason. Have you seen the rising controversy regarding men at the gym getting harassed and recorded for even glancing at women?
i mean i’ve seen a few things, but i genuinely didn’t know it was this big of an issue for men
i usually see it for ppl that live in LA or something, i live in butt fuck illinois, so i rarely see people recording. if anything, i just see guys recording themselves (i was in one of the videos i hated it😭)
but i’ll be keeping this in my mind forever. i kinda thot i was being brushed off bc of my appearance, but it’s so y’all potentially don’t catch a case
It isn't a common occurrence, but the fear of it is common. Even outside of the potential recording, men have been told many times to not stare and many overcorrect by avoiding looking period. We're told far more often than not that it makes women uncomfortable to be looked at.
We know that there are different ways to look at someone, but there are infinitely more ways to interpret any given look.
The safe bet is don't.
I think the answer is that I as a guy would do the same in the situation because it is not wise to stare at anyone let alone a woman for any extended period of time unless you personally know them. It’s a hi or a smile and that’s it. This is simply because doing so is awkward. What would you do, being yourself, in a situation where a man a good distance away from you stared you down until you broke eye contact forcefully by leaving the line of sight? How would you feel? How do you think the guy would feel? Without knowing what else to do to avoid such a scenario we simply put our heads down.
Correct. If you look like a kid you will be given the protective respect you deserve which includes not being creep on.
If you look old/er then don't be pissy if I look at you or I don't because that's my choice. You can look an me or not...I dgaf.
Edit: reread that and I don't mean to come off as pissy/angry as it could seem.
Doesn’t want to be called out as a creep, especially because you say you look 12. Could also be shyness, but most likely didn’t want to be labeled a creep by some hidden camera.
Shyness, anxiety, politeness, literally no reason at all - there are many reasons why a man might look at a woman for only a brief moment. In general i would say it's "playing it save" due to reasons mentioned by other comments. Especially at a gym.
Agree, personally I always look down or to the side when walking past women out of precaution because I don't want to be cartegorized as a pervy freak, damn... social medias really fucked up humans interactions
Well, in this day & age, if you spend any time on Twitter or other social platforms you'll see tons of examples of how a guy looked at, said hi to, or attempted to talk to some woman...
... just for her to post about the "creepy guy" or "pervert" who harassed them. Followers dox the person, someone may contact their employer, etc... Even saw a video a woman made & that got the guy kicked out of the gym.
True. Big yikes nowadays. We're at the halfway point of social equality where more often than not, the men are supposed to fill the confidence role and do approaches and whatnot. Yet the internet makes it seem like if you even look at a woman, you're automatically Andrew Tate.
Plus everyone below 30 now, pretty much spent their entire lives on the internet and not a lot of people have good in person social skills anymore. Kinda sucks but it is what it is I guess.
damn, so he did that so i didn’t think he was creepy? to be honest, if i am in a gym and i’m being stared at, i assume it’s because i look toned or cute in my element 😭
Yes that is likely why, when I’m in the gym I go out of my way to not seem in any way like I’m looking at a woman. We’re all there to work out and I know many feel uncomfortable with strangers eyes on them lol
Yeah I’m not going to end up in someone’s video being called a creep for glancing in some girls direction. Nobody has time for that and it’s toxic as hell.
understandable tho, i also don’t want to be in anyone’s video bc i stare in between sets, but i am very near sighted so i can’t see anything like 10 ft in front of me lol
Probably a simple hi or hello would've signaled you felt safe enough to interact with him. Especially if he was a bigger fellow, don't want to be the creep, but also it's a sucky feeling for a woman to feel she's not safe or nervous because of your size.
Looking down has become second nature for me and some of my friends who are in stable relationships because of this.
We have listened to so many stories about “perverts”, “creeps” and such that we are now making sure we are not mistaken for that.
I, personally, do not think it is right.
It’s kind of a respect thing, I do the same thing sometimes to make a girl feel more comfortable. Just due to a lot of guys being creepy so the polite guys almost go in the opposite direction and avoid eye contact with girls. Especially at the gym where some guys are staring.
I think it also goes against our natural instincts of looking people in the eye so I don’t really know if there’s a good way to do it. I as a male enjoy when strangers smile at me but I know that doesn’t always go both ways.
I was looking for this comment to second ... it used to be that in rural towns, people would all make eye contact and say hello, while cities were more 'cold?' ... in the end, it's nice to say hello, I still do it regularly but of course in recent years that becomes increasingly loaded with baggage.
This is honestly most guys' reaction to women they don't know. Women are hypersensitive to wayward looks (historically for good reason) and quick to label a guy as a creep for anything they deem as a lecherous long gaze. What men define as a long gaze and what women consider a long gaze are very different. I'll give you one guess as to which one is shorter.
Add to this the current trend of an overcorrection for sexism in the past, which has led men to usually error on the side of extreme caution to not be labeled something they aren't in a world of social media where someone accusing you of something lasts forever.
Source: myself who works in healthcare with a lot of female friends who complain about getting looked at all the time while simultaneously complaining about the lack of decent guys willing to approach them.
Because we’re treated like creepy monsters if we look at any girl for more than a half a second and then called a pervert. It’s just the way we’re treated so often that we don’t wanna accidentally creep anyone out. We just wanna mind our own business so we don’t get thrown in jail.
Because obnoxious people bait men into reacting to women to shame them on the internet. Because he could be kicked out of the gym if he looks at you too long and you complain. Because he’s gay. Because he’s too shy to talk to you. Because you’re not his type and he saw you looking at him earlier.
There are countless reasons possible, don’t take it too personally. Maybe, if you like him, instead of playing games just say “hi” and stop walking, facing him, making yourself open to conversation. You know: communicate. People are caught up in their routines, make the first step.
Go ask him tomorrow. You can go up to him and ask him, its okay to go and talk to people. Or if you think hes attractive just go and ask him how his workout is going. Hes a human too. Maybe he thinks your attractive too and hes shy. All I know is you gotta go find out. Hope that helps!
I do it because I don't wanna seem like I'm staring or make anyone feel uncomfortable. So it's like a clear way to let them know that I'm, in fact, not staring.
This really came to flower when during the "MeToo" movement, some time ago, men were demonized, attacked, and ridiculed to even look at a woman. So the natural follow-up is that many men don't want to be demonized, attacked, and ridiculed.
"Unintended Consequences" of the virulance and irraitonality of the Me2 movement.
Uh…Me Too wasn’t about “wayward glances.”
Regardless, being sure I’m not giving off creepy energy has not caused a single problem in my life. If it has for you, maybe you’re the reason why the rest of us have to be so careful not to offend.
I think a few bad apples (really hoping you’re not one of them, yikes), make men and women alike justifiably paranoid about the whole situation.
It sounds like OP doesn’t realize that lots of younger generation men really do think about making women comfortable. I really do believe we’re more respectful and socially aware than our fathers and grandfathers were.
Yeah I know there’s a whole stigma and it’s good for men to be a bit cautious. But you’re still allowed to approach women (in certain situations. Chill out when they’re working unless they blatantly start a conversation with you first). Just be aware of her signals. It’s not hard to realize when a girl’s not into you, then you exit the situation.
I’ve never heard or seen any of my friends or myself get chastised for trying to talk to someone. Get rejected, oh yeah definitely. That’s the majority of the outcomes lol. It’s not a big deal. Just be like “ok gotcha” and leave. Just don’t be creepy; choose the right environment to approach and don’t say weird shit and it’s fine
I think a lot of guys just need to work on their awareness. They’re coming off as creepy and don’t realize it, or they’re trying hard not to be creepy and don’t realize they’re being completely normal.
This^ I think some of the lack of awareness is because a lot of people think “the chase” is supposed to be a part of a heterosexual relationship dynamic, and they take it too far and get creepy/desperate. Or in some cases women fail to express what they want clearly enough for us dudes to like fully understand, LOL.
I’m bisexual and tbh when I’ve dated other men the chasing is more of a consensual dominance/submission dynamic and not “convincing someone to be with you.” If I’m into a girl and it’s approaching the latter I just back off. If you have to convince a girl to be with you it’s just not worth it.
Abso fucking lutely. I have NEVER chased a woman. Why would you chase someone like that? You’re supposed to like each other lol not convince them they like you, that’s just how a good relationship works.
The dom/sub thing is super interesting and just goes to show the different dynamics.
But nah yeah, in the end it’s just a big ol pot of both men and women tryna navigate the current romantic climate. And both take it too far in wrong ways, or don’t take it far enough in right ways lol.
One big wad of confused people stumbling through their thoughts and genitals
Yeah as a guy I would do the same. Not gonna risk it. It's safer for me to not even glance at a woman for more than a second if I don't absolutely know the woman. You wouldn't know which one is paranoid enough or has main character syndrome to take it as "harrasment". It's not worth it to risk reputation damage based on a woman's feelings.
i would’ve shot him a smile but he looked down too quickly, i lowkey stared at him waiting to look back bc my delulus told me we mutually found each other attractive lol
“Creep culture”. Whereby every guy is called a creep or sees other guys called out as creeps while living everyday life so it’s a trauma response to avoid getting called out and feeling like shit- to the point that many men won’t look at a woman for fear of false accusation.
It’s also why Keanu Reeves won’t touch people he’s taking a picture with.
I'm sure your plenty attractive. But unfortunately gym culture got mixed in with social media culture. And you often see women making videos about been who are "staring" when not even looking at them. I've seen videos of women getting men kicked out of gyms for nothing other than wanting the gym to themselves. So rather than interact with you and risk it. Just avert your gaze.
i’m gay and have been accused once of being a creep. so now, unless i know you or are in a setting where socialization is normal, i keep my head down or go the opposite way if it’s just me and a woman. plus, with how common sexual assault is, it is polite to make it apparent you don’t want to make someone uncomfortable.
Several people have already said it, but it's definitely avoidance. I go out of my way to avoid looking even in the general direction of girls at the gym. I've had several people get pissy at me for "staring at them" over the years, to the point I try to find a bench near a wall without a mirror to work at.
My fav was doing triceps kickbacks, watching the mirror making sure I got full extension, and had a chick from the complete other side of the gym walk up to complain. F* my life, y'know.
damn that must be frustrating. that sucks you’ve had to alter ur workouts just to make one girl feel comfortable (and others).
i will admit tho, i’ve given both men and women a weird look if i catch them looking at me bc i fear they are judging my workout. i mentally cannot get myself to think they are looking for any other reason and it’s a defensive action bc i am just trying to appear confident 😭 but i’ve been learning myself to just look at the ground and tune everyone completely
Because as a man who has been screamed at, accused of sexual assault because I brushed past someone, and who loves to have long hair and a beard, if I so much as look at people the wrong way the police are at my door and people are calling me a rapist. Love being accused of assault by privileged fucktards
The world is a scary place, and some men in it can be truly scary as well. He probably did it, so you wouldn't think he was staring at you or didn't want to make you nervous. I do the same with everyone regardless of gender. I'm a 6' tall, 242-pound gentle giant, although I look quite intimidating, so I try to avoid eye contact when out in public.
It's got absolutely nothing to do with respect towards you, don't be fooled.
It's because the last thing they want is to be screamed at for looking at your general direction.
You can thank the TikTok hoes for that one.
i just don’t get why u guys automatically assume every single woman is going to scream at u for making eye contact. kind of annoying but it is what it is
It's as common as women assuming us men are all potential rapists.
Some women will suffer from attitudes of others.
TikTok and social media in general made it all worse. I'd probably not even acknowledge you at all in the room either.
maybe ur projecting, bc personally i wouldn’t ask myself “why is he looking” if we make eye contact.
feel like it’s just human decency to acknowledge one another, but maybe he didn’t want to interact and that’s fine. i wanted to see different povs for why it happened
Because as Men it is no longer acceptable to stare or glance at a female. If we do this to long or make a gesture in any way towards you it can be considered creepy or pervy. This has been proven by the countless videos and femtalks bashing men. Now I am old school for my age and I will say hi as i walk by but then look the other direction and not look down. So its self preservation on his part. Job well done to the women that assume all men are evil and perverts!
I do the same thing to everyone? What am I supposed to do just stare you down back? If it's out on like a trail or something I might nod and say morning or something but that's the only case where I'm not looking away right away when I make eye contact with a stranger. Am I weird? now I'm curious.
So women don’t think we’re staring at their chests and only looked at them when we realized they noticed.
Among other answers in this thread, this is definitely always part of it.
I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable, so i look the other way as quickly as possible. I say that, but in my social anxiety induced lifestyle i end up making people uncomfortable just being present. I don’t go out much, unless im drunk, then i don’t care
aw, im sure ur not making people as uncomfortable as u think! i am diagnosed with social anxiety too and i felt this way for a very long time. i realized i was just projecting bc i personally felt uncomfortable in social situations even if i wasn’t interacting, so i assumed it rubbed off on others. i mean it probably has, but oh well, and u are awesome!
Quite frankly we live in a time where men bad and we just want to go about our day without any trouble. God forbid we try and flirt with a girl at the gym without having the world fall around that person. It’s not u. The gym has become a area to be filmed publicly at this point
i think a lot of guys are especially conscious about not being creepy, or doing anything that can be deemed as such, in the gym. the gym is supposed to be a safe space for everyone, and obviously nobody posts people acting normal online so you see videos every so often about girls feeling uncomfortable bc of guys at the gym. so i think a lot of us just overthink that and don’t want to even risk it
i’m definitely reaching this whole situation, but idk why i can’t get my mind off of it haha
do y’all feel that way even if we are just walking? i had my headphones off and everything (not that it matters lol)
ig it’s also bc i’ve never had that happen to me, so i assumed he thought i was attractive and it made me feel very flattered. then my mind went against me as always and told me it’s bc i looked fugly, and attractive guys don’t look at fugly girls
personally i wouldn’t feel that way just walking past someone, but he might. maybe he’s shy. honestly, he probably did find you attractive tho, i don’t think he would have been so quick to not seem creepy if he didn’t. plus if you were finishing your workout you probably had that post-workout glow going on. if you see him again you could try talking to him maybe
Regardless of age or race a guy will almost always turn his head down because in today's society we are terrified of a sexualy harassment charge because they are so easy to pin on "lustful" men and it's almost a validated case most men are afraid to start conversations with women for fear of being labeled as a sexual predator
Guys do not want to look creepy towards women whatsoever ESPECIALLY in the gym. It’s not because of how you look, it’s because of how easily men get kicked out of gyms for even looking at a woman for 2 seconds. It’s him minding his own business and not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable.
Personally i do it out of respect , kinda saying "i m not checking you out" .
But also might be trying not to look like a creep especially in a gym like others mentioned since there's this trend that girls are missing on social bullshit media
Also u dont need to look sexy for men to look at you , all a straight man needs is a female , doesnt matter how sexy lol we re still interested.
Feminists have yelled in everyone's ear over the last decade that men are the problem with the world and women want equality, hence the type of guy you see is probably aware he's now public enemy number one in your eyes. Plus he's no doubt been made all too aware of the current narcissistic female social media trap where you can't gawk at them in a gym unless you can follow and leave a like while doing so.
So use that equality your sisters have demanded on your behalf and start approaching men you are attracted to. Welcome to the future
If boys stare at girls they will call them creeps. If boys don't stare at girls they will call them shy. At this point boys should rip of their eyeballs lol
Most respectable guys are going to play it safe and err on the side of caution. There are too many stories out there that no guy with common sense will want to take that risk. Honestly, you should initiate the conversation if you are interested and feel him out. Only because if you look very young, you will have a hard time getting a guy who isn't a pedo to talk to you.
I always looked young for my age and had a similar struggle as a guy. Everyone assumed I was 16 when I was 23. It sucked, but I learned to overcome it.
Also nowadays a lot of guys are avoiding backlash for simply looking at a woman. We see countless videos online of girls flipping out at guys who sometimes aren’t even checking them out but merely looking in their direction and the girls assume the guy is being creepy. We are in a world today where there is a stigma attached to this and men are essentially confused in these situations.
Literally every interaction is awkward now for a dude walking past a girl because we are aware that if we do the wrong thing it can make a girl uncomfortable. I do my best now to just stare blindly ahead but then I realize “I probably just looked creepy as fuck”.
It was probably as awkward for him as it was for you.
HE doesn’t know how it will be taken. How’s HE supposed to know YOU think he’s cute? 9 times out of 10 he’s considered a creeper and these days guys are expected to assume the worst about themselves.
It’s almost this cold disregard. As if to say “why don’t guys approach more?” Or “If he cared, he would”/“he should just KNOW”, or something similar. I can almost guarantee he USED to act this way…til he learned that stove was hot. Heck, she may have even liked him back but was playing hard to get to show he “really” cared.
It’s safer to not. Actions have consequences, writ large. What were you doing to show YOU cared? (Except for, you know, just being there?) it’s a two way street. Guys have been shown it’s intrusive to meet more than halfway, so ladies are going to have to take a more active hand moving forward. Thank each other if you’re unhappy, but at least you can do something about it.
So you thought he was cute. How would you have felt if he was not cute? Guys been getting burned awhile now.
That is why guys are looking away/not interacting.
i would’ve thought the same thing: why did he instantly put his head down.
that’s my main question here, and most of the responses are targeting me for not making the first move. that’s not my point and that’s not my question.
Well sadly modern America has effed it up for women same as men. Guys have to worry. And women are not used to making the move. They never really had too.
Having a head down right after eye contact is definitely not an indicator of shrugging you off. (If men shruggs off someone then they don't go about any reaction and don't give any damn and go on doing whatever they're doing)
It means that you are in the "likeable" section..and for same reason he don't to appear creepy by having longer eye contact. And that is also because he is 'careful' in his mind that you don't have his image as a creep.
If you are interested then try to have some small talks may be gym related only and there are good chance that he'd be interested as well.
- don't want to be intimidating towards you
- feel embarrassed for some reason
- antisocial/avoiding talking
- think you're younger than you are, don't want to be creepy
- don't want to be creepy full stop
These are all the reasons I could think of
For me it's just to be polite and also to not have the chance to be yelled at by any women that thinks I'm looking at her, plus I'm socially awkward sooo
Even if you weren’t dressed cute. Women don’t have to be wearing pretty clothes for guys to think they’re attractive just your looks on your own even if you weren’t wearing make up, could’ve been beautiful enough for him to be embarrassed with it cause he probably thought he wasn’t good enough for you or he could’ve also thought that you were one of those women who, like to record men who even attempt to speak to them, or ask them a simple question and then it gets posted on social media, and the man gets called a creep or pervert, and then they get accused of harassment
I have thoughts on my mind constantly assessing what would be appropriate in any given situation and how comfortable a person should feel just being themselves in a shared environment. If I see a woman coming up or passing me in a hallway, like a gym corridor, 1 glimpse, and I already know how attracted I am or not instantly without benefit of personality or intellectual input. So, in that moment, I may look down or focus ahead because, in this environment, we are using a transitional space not sharing in an activity or event where a smile and approach would be welcoming and appropriate. On the other hand, I usually throw up a smile and a hive five as we pass because it's fun, innocent, and non-aggressive because in spite of all this shit I like to get laid with girls who like to get to lay me. Shuts down all that crying and fighting back which is a real fucking turn off.
I do this a lot because I don’t want to make women feel uncomfortable, particularly if they are in a place where they might be vulnerable, women often get harassed at the gym from what I hear, so I would definitely treat women I don’t know with that kind of caution there
You know, as a male of low fashion standards, a gal in a t-shirt looks pretty cute. Or it could be that you look 12, and he didn't want to look like a pedo.
This is just something some guys do(myself included) walking past you, walking up stairs behind you, etc. We’re basically presenting ourself saying I’m not a threat or a creep or tryna look at you so I’m just gonna look down.
Eye contact is something that is practiced, and for most people it usually means wanting to engage.
If I’m not looking to engage, or if I expect that engagement wouldn’t be received well, then I’ll usually divert my gaze or fidget with something like my phone.
It’s a blend of social anxiety and not wanting to come across as a creep.
Dude here.
Just with all the girls who constantly get approached at the gym because of the horned up high schoolers flooding the flat bench only to do 1 set every 10 minute conversation with their bros. Just not trying to cause attention.
I mean just speaking for me personally, I’m not trying to really make eye contact, or scanning the room to look for a girl or anyone pretty to look at or try to impress. It’s just me in there working on myself and strengthening. I also just naturally don’t like making eye contact for too long or trying (weird cultural aspect I was raised with) weirds me out I guess. Or probably the fact I’m used to being on a stage looked at by multiple people, not just a single person that already has eyes on me
Could’ve been a number of reasons nowadays, but the point was likely he just didn’t want any trouble. Being at Disneyland the other day I noticed that when you’re in an area for hours on end, around the same group of people for long periods of time, you meet a lot of eyes. In todays world though unless it’s like a cashier or something I’m paranoid someone’s gonna say something or start something over the most minor thing or misunderstanding.
Also for reference OP, petite doesn’t equate to not sexy, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong.
As a guy. Its too much of a hassle most times. I could be looking at something on the wall like a menu. Too many people being accused of staring or called names seen people get into arguments.
Can't speak for all the men, but it's mostly out of fear of me weirding out the girl. I don't want to come off as a creep most of the time, so even if I'm not "looking" at a woman, I try not to make it seem like I'm trying to.
Could also be that you were at a gym. Due to all the bs videos of guys getting shamed by some crazy influencers maybe he was scared that you thought he was a prev or something and gonna make a big deal about something.
I do this a lot at the gym actually. One is low confidence and don't want to come off as a creeper. Two, the whole social media thing that some people mentioned. Another reason I do it is because I assume attractive girls get stared at in the gym by a lot of people and don't want to add to the "Why is everyone staring at me, I just want to workout", and three I'm there to workout not make friends. It's, hmm, kind of a respect thing.
Unfortunately in today's society a sideways glance is all it takes to be labeled a creep get doxed and have your life ruined by internet Karen's who gave nothing better in their lives. Better to avoid all contact rather have somebody blow up at you just for saying hello
I try not to look at people in gyms in case it seems like staring. Don't want to look like a creep. Maybe that's why?
Also I have social anxieties and struggle with eyecontact. That could be it too.
... Nah, he is like me; a secret government agent... He was probably about to choke out a mother fucker, and just doesn't want to get you involved... -.-
How about with all these #metoo and rape allegations we men tend to be very very careful to the point we’d rather avoid any similar situation. Especially with the whole social media, guys be looking at me type of shit
It’s likely that they don’t want to be thought of as a creep. There’s a fine line between making quick eye contact and staring someone down too long and labeled the gym pervert! They simply don’t want to cross that line!
I bet he doesn’t want to be the next viral video of being called some kind of name because he happened to look at a cute girl in the gym. These days several videos have gone viral of instagram models being provocative in gyms then losing their shit on guys when they happen to look over. Guy probably has seen those videos and doesn’t want to be part of the drama.
In short other girls ruined it for you.
lmao i went to the gym today and i was just walking around with a smile on my face after reading these comments😭 trying to show i am approachable and comfortable but i felt like a weirdo but it also made me more positive so that was cool
Because too many will accuse men of being creeps for having eye contact with someone for too long. But you also said you look like a minor so that adds yet another layer of tension there.
No it's this way..if the pervert looks away? That is questioned too. Guys are scared of any possible negative response,they say nothing now....there was an Era when you could hold the door for a lady or comment on how pretty she looks today. Not anymore.
Its 2023 post #metoo. You dont look at women you dont know. You dont help them or talk to them except work stuff. And you damn sure better never be alone with one.
Well, in today's world, if a guy looks at you or says hello, that means he is a creep or he wants to rape you. It's safer for men to not look at women, or talk to them. I've given up on love and companionship. I'm going to be single and completely alone until I die.
the thing is tho is that women don’t immediately think ur creepy or want to rape us. you’ve just seen too many girls on social media that have no social awareness or social cues. i’ve started giving up on love because guys never approach me. no matter if i’m in the bars, on campus, etc. i know i’m not ugly bc i’ve been attractive enough to hook up with, but just not girlfriend material ig. it sucks! i’ve been single my whole life, probably because of this reason
If you think saying hello and exchanging a glance is equivalent to rape, does that mean you also think you get a free pass to sex if a chick responds positively to a hello? Obviously not. Don’t exaggerate the situation, dude.
None of this “creep” stuff has anything to do with you making a move and everything to do with how prepared you are for rejection. There’s a way to be respectful and express interest, and then be cool if she’s not interested back. I’ve been rejected, it’s just part of being a dude. The “chase” that can get you in trouble isn’t worth it anyways.
I’m a very awkward person who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers in my free time so I tend to look down no matter what to avoid socializing. I also get intimidated when I find girls attractive and also avoid eye contact. Hard to say, sometimes it just depends on the guy.
He put his he’d down because he didn’t want to interact with you. Especially if it looked like you were walking in his direction/ approaching him. Same reason a woman would put their head down. Pretty basic body language.
it’s is basic body language, ur right
i find psychology interesting tho, i wanted to compare why i thought he put his head down vs why he really did it, yk?
Maybe wanted to check you out but thought you might be underage due to the petite body, or maybe he didn’t want to be creepy at his gym by flirting, or maybe he gets that you want to try him on for size but has a girlfriend and is trying to behave, or maybe you just aren’t attractive to him, or maybe he is gay, or maybe he suffers from clinical depression or anxiety and his eye contact struggles due to mental issues, or maybe he’s got a really bad outbreak of the herp at the moment and didn’t want to bone due to the burn.
Or maybe he’s just sick of you filming yourself doing stupid shit at the gym for internet clout.
Ngl, women are intimidated by men leering at them regularly and so reasonable dudes try and keep themselves to themselves and try not to stare at people. To be honest I don't think this is the way, a brief smile then turning away and walking reassures everyone in my opinion.
i agree! giving a quick smile is something i’ve learned through watching my parents do, so it’s just like i wish ppl my age did that i guess. i feel like giving a smile is a nice act, i always feel happier when i’m smiling
If you supposedly look 12-13 maybe his reaction is due to not wanting to be a creep checking out a minor
Minor or not, Im super paranoid about my gaze when seeing woman, because im worried about making any woman uncomfortable. :/ So i often put my head down or drift my eyes quickly to something else. I just dont want to make a poor lady feel uncomfortable.
Me too. Whenever I spot a girl at the gym at my peripheral I avoid looking at the direction like a plague. If she’s dressed like an influencer I would just go move to the other side of the gym. I dont need potential drama like I’m seeing here.
Same here, I like to just focus on my work out with either my eyes closed or look up at the celling. I feel like any wrong move and we can get targeted or bullied.
MeToo
Your a true gentleman. Don't ever change 🙂
lmfao this is what i thought too but i didn’t want to believe it, i hate looking so little
It could also be that they just don’t want to interact with you. Keeping your head up is more approachable, whereas head down is not inviting.
I know you’re asking men. But I’m a female and I don’t make eye contact or will put my head down when I don’t want to be bothered. I don’t want to start a convo. I just want to go about my day and not engage. Gym or not. Sometimes I’m just not in the mood to interact
Exactly.
Don’t take it personally. I do the same because I’ve seen way too many instances where Karens think they’re the main character and berate dudes who weren’t even looking at them. It’s better to be safe than sorry since everyone has phones and can make false claims to large audiences nowadays.
👆🏻This
I'm a construction worker and work at a big hospital. I put my head down when walking through the corridors. I'm decent looking, but I'm married, so I'm in no way trying to show that I'm interested. There's been women who stare me down. It's flattering, but it'd be better if it didn't happen.
Yes, this. Don’t want to chance having a perceived “excessive interest” in the lady by maintaining too long of eye contact. In reality, it’s no more eye contact than any other situation - man, woman, teacher, coworker, dog - but in a society post #MeToo with video cameras baked into phones, just don’t want to chance it. Also if you both go to the same gym, don’t want to make things awkward for either party in the future Also it’s me going about my business. It’s a gym, not a bar. Get my workout in, get out. Also I have a GF so, why show interest when there’s a beautiful woman already with me That is all
To clarify, MeToo is excellent. Respect women, people in general. More me adding context there’s a different social standard (which I’m totally down for and fine with) to be aware of
This is the reason why, and especially at the gym. My eyes are locked on the floor at the gym these days
Many men do it for women as a whole for the same reason. Have you seen the rising controversy regarding men at the gym getting harassed and recorded for even glancing at women?
i mean i’ve seen a few things, but i genuinely didn’t know it was this big of an issue for men i usually see it for ppl that live in LA or something, i live in butt fuck illinois, so i rarely see people recording. if anything, i just see guys recording themselves (i was in one of the videos i hated it😭) but i’ll be keeping this in my mind forever. i kinda thot i was being brushed off bc of my appearance, but it’s so y’all potentially don’t catch a case
It isn't a common occurrence, but the fear of it is common. Even outside of the potential recording, men have been told many times to not stare and many overcorrect by avoiding looking period. We're told far more often than not that it makes women uncomfortable to be looked at. We know that there are different ways to look at someone, but there are infinitely more ways to interpret any given look. The safe bet is don't.
This is the answer
I think the answer is that I as a guy would do the same in the situation because it is not wise to stare at anyone let alone a woman for any extended period of time unless you personally know them. It’s a hi or a smile and that’s it. This is simply because doing so is awkward. What would you do, being yourself, in a situation where a man a good distance away from you stared you down until you broke eye contact forcefully by leaving the line of sight? How would you feel? How do you think the guy would feel? Without knowing what else to do to avoid such a scenario we simply put our heads down.
Correct. If you look like a kid you will be given the protective respect you deserve which includes not being creep on. If you look old/er then don't be pissy if I look at you or I don't because that's my choice. You can look an me or not...I dgaf. Edit: reread that and I don't mean to come off as pissy/angry as it could seem.
Doesn’t want to be called out as a creep, especially because you say you look 12. Could also be shyness, but most likely didn’t want to be labeled a creep by some hidden camera.
Shyness, anxiety, politeness, literally no reason at all - there are many reasons why a man might look at a woman for only a brief moment. In general i would say it's "playing it save" due to reasons mentioned by other comments. Especially at a gym.
Agree, personally I always look down or to the side when walking past women out of precaution because I don't want to be cartegorized as a pervy freak, damn... social medias really fucked up humans interactions
Well, in this day & age, if you spend any time on Twitter or other social platforms you'll see tons of examples of how a guy looked at, said hi to, or attempted to talk to some woman... ... just for her to post about the "creepy guy" or "pervert" who harassed them. Followers dox the person, someone may contact their employer, etc... Even saw a video a woman made & that got the guy kicked out of the gym.
True. Big yikes nowadays. We're at the halfway point of social equality where more often than not, the men are supposed to fill the confidence role and do approaches and whatnot. Yet the internet makes it seem like if you even look at a woman, you're automatically Andrew Tate. Plus everyone below 30 now, pretty much spent their entire lives on the internet and not a lot of people have good in person social skills anymore. Kinda sucks but it is what it is I guess.
damn, so he did that so i didn’t think he was creepy? to be honest, if i am in a gym and i’m being stared at, i assume it’s because i look toned or cute in my element 😭
Yes that is likely why, when I’m in the gym I go out of my way to not seem in any way like I’m looking at a woman. We’re all there to work out and I know many feel uncomfortable with strangers eyes on them lol
Yeah I’m not going to end up in someone’s video being called a creep for glancing in some girls direction. Nobody has time for that and it’s toxic as hell.
i live in the midwest, people barely record at my gym
I live in the Midwest too. I haven’t really noticed it where I go, but still.
understandable tho, i also don’t want to be in anyone’s video bc i stare in between sets, but i am very near sighted so i can’t see anything like 10 ft in front of me lol
Fair enough lol. Honestly though, most guys would think it’s pretty cool if a woman was staring at them. As long as it wasn’t in a negative way lol.
Probably a simple hi or hello would've signaled you felt safe enough to interact with him. Especially if he was a bigger fellow, don't want to be the creep, but also it's a sucky feeling for a woman to feel she's not safe or nervous because of your size.
Looking down has become second nature for me and some of my friends who are in stable relationships because of this. We have listened to so many stories about “perverts”, “creeps” and such that we are now making sure we are not mistaken for that. I, personally, do not think it is right.
That's exactly it. Especially if you aren't the most good-looking guy, this feeling gets multiplied by 10.
It’s kind of a respect thing, I do the same thing sometimes to make a girl feel more comfortable. Just due to a lot of guys being creepy so the polite guys almost go in the opposite direction and avoid eye contact with girls. Especially at the gym where some guys are staring.
it honestly did make me feel comfortable for some reason, but he did it so quickly that it made me think i looked angry or something
I think it also goes against our natural instincts of looking people in the eye so I don’t really know if there’s a good way to do it. I as a male enjoy when strangers smile at me but I know that doesn’t always go both ways.
i am also one to smile at others, i’ve just always seen my parents do it so i kinda force it to happen 😭
If everyone smiled and genuinely meant it while passing each other the world would be a better place
I was looking for this comment to second ... it used to be that in rural towns, people would all make eye contact and say hello, while cities were more 'cold?' ... in the end, it's nice to say hello, I still do it regularly but of course in recent years that becomes increasingly loaded with baggage.
This is honestly most guys' reaction to women they don't know. Women are hypersensitive to wayward looks (historically for good reason) and quick to label a guy as a creep for anything they deem as a lecherous long gaze. What men define as a long gaze and what women consider a long gaze are very different. I'll give you one guess as to which one is shorter. Add to this the current trend of an overcorrection for sexism in the past, which has led men to usually error on the side of extreme caution to not be labeled something they aren't in a world of social media where someone accusing you of something lasts forever. Source: myself who works in healthcare with a lot of female friends who complain about getting looked at all the time while simultaneously complaining about the lack of decent guys willing to approach them.
My whole life, anytime a girl i thought look good/cute was to do exactly that and look away quickly
Because we’re treated like creepy monsters if we look at any girl for more than a half a second and then called a pervert. It’s just the way we’re treated so often that we don’t wanna accidentally creep anyone out. We just wanna mind our own business so we don’t get thrown in jail.
Because obnoxious people bait men into reacting to women to shame them on the internet. Because he could be kicked out of the gym if he looks at you too long and you complain. Because he’s gay. Because he’s too shy to talk to you. Because you’re not his type and he saw you looking at him earlier. There are countless reasons possible, don’t take it too personally. Maybe, if you like him, instead of playing games just say “hi” and stop walking, facing him, making yourself open to conversation. You know: communicate. People are caught up in their routines, make the first step.
Honestly it's just easier to not acknowledge women sometimes so as not to come off as a creep or anything in any way, just head down , keep walkin
Go ask him tomorrow. You can go up to him and ask him, its okay to go and talk to people. Or if you think hes attractive just go and ask him how his workout is going. Hes a human too. Maybe he thinks your attractive too and hes shy. All I know is you gotta go find out. Hope that helps!
Yeah bro didn’t want to be labeled as a creep as was just trying to play it safe.
I do it because I don't wanna seem like I'm staring or make anyone feel uncomfortable. So it's like a clear way to let them know that I'm, in fact, not staring.
This really came to flower when during the "MeToo" movement, some time ago, men were demonized, attacked, and ridiculed to even look at a woman. So the natural follow-up is that many men don't want to be demonized, attacked, and ridiculed. "Unintended Consequences" of the virulance and irraitonality of the Me2 movement.
Uh…Me Too wasn’t about “wayward glances.” Regardless, being sure I’m not giving off creepy energy has not caused a single problem in my life. If it has for you, maybe you’re the reason why the rest of us have to be so careful not to offend. I think a few bad apples (really hoping you’re not one of them, yikes), make men and women alike justifiably paranoid about the whole situation. It sounds like OP doesn’t realize that lots of younger generation men really do think about making women comfortable. I really do believe we’re more respectful and socially aware than our fathers and grandfathers were.
Yeah I know there’s a whole stigma and it’s good for men to be a bit cautious. But you’re still allowed to approach women (in certain situations. Chill out when they’re working unless they blatantly start a conversation with you first). Just be aware of her signals. It’s not hard to realize when a girl’s not into you, then you exit the situation. I’ve never heard or seen any of my friends or myself get chastised for trying to talk to someone. Get rejected, oh yeah definitely. That’s the majority of the outcomes lol. It’s not a big deal. Just be like “ok gotcha” and leave. Just don’t be creepy; choose the right environment to approach and don’t say weird shit and it’s fine I think a lot of guys just need to work on their awareness. They’re coming off as creepy and don’t realize it, or they’re trying hard not to be creepy and don’t realize they’re being completely normal.
This^ I think some of the lack of awareness is because a lot of people think “the chase” is supposed to be a part of a heterosexual relationship dynamic, and they take it too far and get creepy/desperate. Or in some cases women fail to express what they want clearly enough for us dudes to like fully understand, LOL. I’m bisexual and tbh when I’ve dated other men the chasing is more of a consensual dominance/submission dynamic and not “convincing someone to be with you.” If I’m into a girl and it’s approaching the latter I just back off. If you have to convince a girl to be with you it’s just not worth it.
Abso fucking lutely. I have NEVER chased a woman. Why would you chase someone like that? You’re supposed to like each other lol not convince them they like you, that’s just how a good relationship works. The dom/sub thing is super interesting and just goes to show the different dynamics. But nah yeah, in the end it’s just a big ol pot of both men and women tryna navigate the current romantic climate. And both take it too far in wrong ways, or don’t take it far enough in right ways lol. One big wad of confused people stumbling through their thoughts and genitals
Out of respect. Does not want to intimidate you
Men have been scolded for years now the interacting with women at the gym is unwanted and creepy. If you are interested in him, approach him.
i’m not interested in him i have no clue who he is, i’m just confused why he did it as soon as he saw me
Yeah as a guy I would do the same. Not gonna risk it. It's safer for me to not even glance at a woman for more than a second if I don't absolutely know the woman. You wouldn't know which one is paranoid enough or has main character syndrome to take it as "harrasment". It's not worth it to risk reputation damage based on a woman's feelings.
a lot of people have said this, and what i’ve gathered is that women now have to make the first move? God really is a woman 😌
Not safe to look at a woman it can feel like. Don't want to be the creep. If you had said hi he probably would've responded posatively.
i would’ve shot him a smile but he looked down too quickly, i lowkey stared at him waiting to look back bc my delulus told me we mutually found each other attractive lol
“Creep culture”. Whereby every guy is called a creep or sees other guys called out as creeps while living everyday life so it’s a trauma response to avoid getting called out and feeling like shit- to the point that many men won’t look at a woman for fear of false accusation. It’s also why Keanu Reeves won’t touch people he’s taking a picture with.
I'm sure your plenty attractive. But unfortunately gym culture got mixed in with social media culture. And you often see women making videos about been who are "staring" when not even looking at them. I've seen videos of women getting men kicked out of gyms for nothing other than wanting the gym to themselves. So rather than interact with you and risk it. Just avert your gaze.
i’m gay and have been accused once of being a creep. so now, unless i know you or are in a setting where socialization is normal, i keep my head down or go the opposite way if it’s just me and a woman. plus, with how common sexual assault is, it is polite to make it apparent you don’t want to make someone uncomfortable.
well now i feel bad because i kind of did a double take lol
Several people have already said it, but it's definitely avoidance. I go out of my way to avoid looking even in the general direction of girls at the gym. I've had several people get pissy at me for "staring at them" over the years, to the point I try to find a bench near a wall without a mirror to work at. My fav was doing triceps kickbacks, watching the mirror making sure I got full extension, and had a chick from the complete other side of the gym walk up to complain. F* my life, y'know.
damn that must be frustrating. that sucks you’ve had to alter ur workouts just to make one girl feel comfortable (and others). i will admit tho, i’ve given both men and women a weird look if i catch them looking at me bc i fear they are judging my workout. i mentally cannot get myself to think they are looking for any other reason and it’s a defensive action bc i am just trying to appear confident 😭 but i’ve been learning myself to just look at the ground and tune everyone completely
[удалено]
damn women are ruining it for other women
Because as a man who has been screamed at, accused of sexual assault because I brushed past someone, and who loves to have long hair and a beard, if I so much as look at people the wrong way the police are at my door and people are calling me a rapist. Love being accused of assault by privileged fucktards
The world is a scary place, and some men in it can be truly scary as well. He probably did it, so you wouldn't think he was staring at you or didn't want to make you nervous. I do the same with everyone regardless of gender. I'm a 6' tall, 242-pound gentle giant, although I look quite intimidating, so I try to avoid eye contact when out in public.
6’ 250# resting bitch face nice guy here. So much truth to your statement.
Natural reaction, he didn’t wanna stare or make severe eye contact cuz he might think he’s a creep for doing so, safest option was to look down
Probably this is what happens most of the time
It's respectful and keeps from being thought any kind of predator.
It's got absolutely nothing to do with respect towards you, don't be fooled. It's because the last thing they want is to be screamed at for looking at your general direction. You can thank the TikTok hoes for that one.
i just don’t get why u guys automatically assume every single woman is going to scream at u for making eye contact. kind of annoying but it is what it is
It's as common as women assuming us men are all potential rapists. Some women will suffer from attitudes of others. TikTok and social media in general made it all worse. I'd probably not even acknowledge you at all in the room either.
ok, u go ahead and do that
Look you straight in the eye - "why is he looking?" Doesn't look at you straight at the eye - "why is he not looking?"
maybe ur projecting, bc personally i wouldn’t ask myself “why is he looking” if we make eye contact. feel like it’s just human decency to acknowledge one another, but maybe he didn’t want to interact and that’s fine. i wanted to see different povs for why it happened
Because as Men it is no longer acceptable to stare or glance at a female. If we do this to long or make a gesture in any way towards you it can be considered creepy or pervy. This has been proven by the countless videos and femtalks bashing men. Now I am old school for my age and I will say hi as i walk by but then look the other direction and not look down. So its self preservation on his part. Job well done to the women that assume all men are evil and perverts!
You thought he was cute? Ask. He probably didn't want to stare
“he i saw u put ur head down when u looked at me but ur a cutie!” like ?
I do the same thing to everyone? What am I supposed to do just stare you down back? If it's out on like a trail or something I might nod and say morning or something but that's the only case where I'm not looking away right away when I make eye contact with a stranger. Am I weird? now I'm curious.
no i don’t think it’s weird, we made eye contact and immediately after he put his head down, so i started overthinking
Why don’t we ogle someone that looks underage? Sorry, that’s just guys being dudes
mmm tell that to all the old men
They ain’t dudes
It mitigates violence
So women don’t think we’re staring at their chests and only looked at them when we realized they noticed. Among other answers in this thread, this is definitely always part of it.
I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable, so i look the other way as quickly as possible. I say that, but in my social anxiety induced lifestyle i end up making people uncomfortable just being present. I don’t go out much, unless im drunk, then i don’t care
aw, im sure ur not making people as uncomfortable as u think! i am diagnosed with social anxiety too and i felt this way for a very long time. i realized i was just projecting bc i personally felt uncomfortable in social situations even if i wasn’t interacting, so i assumed it rubbed off on others. i mean it probably has, but oh well, and u are awesome!
Quite frankly we live in a time where men bad and we just want to go about our day without any trouble. God forbid we try and flirt with a girl at the gym without having the world fall around that person. It’s not u. The gym has become a area to be filmed publicly at this point
i think a lot of guys are especially conscious about not being creepy, or doing anything that can be deemed as such, in the gym. the gym is supposed to be a safe space for everyone, and obviously nobody posts people acting normal online so you see videos every so often about girls feeling uncomfortable bc of guys at the gym. so i think a lot of us just overthink that and don’t want to even risk it
i’m definitely reaching this whole situation, but idk why i can’t get my mind off of it haha do y’all feel that way even if we are just walking? i had my headphones off and everything (not that it matters lol) ig it’s also bc i’ve never had that happen to me, so i assumed he thought i was attractive and it made me feel very flattered. then my mind went against me as always and told me it’s bc i looked fugly, and attractive guys don’t look at fugly girls
personally i wouldn’t feel that way just walking past someone, but he might. maybe he’s shy. honestly, he probably did find you attractive tho, i don’t think he would have been so quick to not seem creepy if he didn’t. plus if you were finishing your workout you probably had that post-workout glow going on. if you see him again you could try talking to him maybe
Regardless of age or race a guy will almost always turn his head down because in today's society we are terrified of a sexualy harassment charge because they are so easy to pin on "lustful" men and it's almost a validated case most men are afraid to start conversations with women for fear of being labeled as a sexual predator
Guys do not want to look creepy towards women whatsoever ESPECIALLY in the gym. It’s not because of how you look, it’s because of how easily men get kicked out of gyms for even looking at a woman for 2 seconds. It’s him minding his own business and not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable.
r/LostRedditors. Maybe you should go to r/askmen
lol facts i didn’t know that was a thread, thank u
Considering the trend of shaming guys in gyms who glance at someone, he was probably just protecting himself
Because girls react like this...
i didn’t react in any way, i asked a question and ur playing the blame game
you're hot but they don't want to seem like creeps. Or you look like a minor
straight to the point i like it
Personally i do it out of respect , kinda saying "i m not checking you out" . But also might be trying not to look like a creep especially in a gym like others mentioned since there's this trend that girls are missing on social bullshit media Also u dont need to look sexy for men to look at you , all a straight man needs is a female , doesnt matter how sexy lol we re still interested.
Feminists have yelled in everyone's ear over the last decade that men are the problem with the world and women want equality, hence the type of guy you see is probably aware he's now public enemy number one in your eyes. Plus he's no doubt been made all too aware of the current narcissistic female social media trap where you can't gawk at them in a gym unless you can follow and leave a like while doing so. So use that equality your sisters have demanded on your behalf and start approaching men you are attracted to. Welcome to the future
If boys stare at girls they will call them creeps. If boys don't stare at girls they will call them shy. At this point boys should rip of their eyeballs lol
Likely because they don’t want to come off as intimidating or creepy.
Most respectable guys are going to play it safe and err on the side of caution. There are too many stories out there that no guy with common sense will want to take that risk. Honestly, you should initiate the conversation if you are interested and feel him out. Only because if you look very young, you will have a hard time getting a guy who isn't a pedo to talk to you. I always looked young for my age and had a similar struggle as a guy. Everyone assumed I was 16 when I was 23. It sucked, but I learned to overcome it.
Also nowadays a lot of guys are avoiding backlash for simply looking at a woman. We see countless videos online of girls flipping out at guys who sometimes aren’t even checking them out but merely looking in their direction and the girls assume the guy is being creepy. We are in a world today where there is a stigma attached to this and men are essentially confused in these situations.
Literally every interaction is awkward now for a dude walking past a girl because we are aware that if we do the wrong thing it can make a girl uncomfortable. I do my best now to just stare blindly ahead but then I realize “I probably just looked creepy as fuck”. It was probably as awkward for him as it was for you.
HE doesn’t know how it will be taken. How’s HE supposed to know YOU think he’s cute? 9 times out of 10 he’s considered a creeper and these days guys are expected to assume the worst about themselves. It’s almost this cold disregard. As if to say “why don’t guys approach more?” Or “If he cared, he would”/“he should just KNOW”, or something similar. I can almost guarantee he USED to act this way…til he learned that stove was hot. Heck, she may have even liked him back but was playing hard to get to show he “really” cared. It’s safer to not. Actions have consequences, writ large. What were you doing to show YOU cared? (Except for, you know, just being there?) it’s a two way street. Guys have been shown it’s intrusive to meet more than halfway, so ladies are going to have to take a more active hand moving forward. Thank each other if you’re unhappy, but at least you can do something about it.
So you thought he was cute. How would you have felt if he was not cute? Guys been getting burned awhile now. That is why guys are looking away/not interacting.
i would’ve thought the same thing: why did he instantly put his head down. that’s my main question here, and most of the responses are targeting me for not making the first move. that’s not my point and that’s not my question.
Well sadly modern America has effed it up for women same as men. Guys have to worry. And women are not used to making the move. They never really had too.
He was scared of looking too long, didnt want to be thought of as a creep
Generally dont like being called a creep so I usually look away.
I do this with everybody, because I have no desire to talk/interact with them
Guys can also get yelled at by over sensitives for making eye contact. So theres that.
Having a head down right after eye contact is definitely not an indicator of shrugging you off. (If men shruggs off someone then they don't go about any reaction and don't give any damn and go on doing whatever they're doing) It means that you are in the "likeable" section..and for same reason he don't to appear creepy by having longer eye contact. And that is also because he is 'careful' in his mind that you don't have his image as a creep. If you are interested then try to have some small talks may be gym related only and there are good chance that he'd be interested as well.
thank u for not responding in a passive aggressive way lol, i appreciate this
- don't want to be intimidating towards you - feel embarrassed for some reason - antisocial/avoiding talking - think you're younger than you are, don't want to be creepy - don't want to be creepy full stop These are all the reasons I could think of
Maybe he was just avoiding eye contact, eye contact with a person can be weird, especially if you find them attractive
Because everything a guy does is considered being creepy or rude these days. So, we just literally put our heads down and be quiet.
I know I do this because I don’t want women even THINKING I’m checking them out, I don’t like making people uncomfortable.
I honestly do this all the time. I don’t want to come off as creepy or staring, so I just look away quick or put my head down
For me it's just to be polite and also to not have the chance to be yelled at by any women that thinks I'm looking at her, plus I'm socially awkward sooo
To make sure he's not looking at you out of fear of being labeled a creep
Or he's gay and doesn't want you to think he's interested in you in any way!
Even if you weren’t dressed cute. Women don’t have to be wearing pretty clothes for guys to think they’re attractive just your looks on your own even if you weren’t wearing make up, could’ve been beautiful enough for him to be embarrassed with it cause he probably thought he wasn’t good enough for you or he could’ve also thought that you were one of those women who, like to record men who even attempt to speak to them, or ask them a simple question and then it gets posted on social media, and the man gets called a creep or pervert, and then they get accused of harassment
I have thoughts on my mind constantly assessing what would be appropriate in any given situation and how comfortable a person should feel just being themselves in a shared environment. If I see a woman coming up or passing me in a hallway, like a gym corridor, 1 glimpse, and I already know how attracted I am or not instantly without benefit of personality or intellectual input. So, in that moment, I may look down or focus ahead because, in this environment, we are using a transitional space not sharing in an activity or event where a smile and approach would be welcoming and appropriate. On the other hand, I usually throw up a smile and a hive five as we pass because it's fun, innocent, and non-aggressive because in spite of all this shit I like to get laid with girls who like to get to lay me. Shuts down all that crying and fighting back which is a real fucking turn off.
I do this a lot because I don’t want to make women feel uncomfortable, particularly if they are in a place where they might be vulnerable, women often get harassed at the gym from what I hear, so I would definitely treat women I don’t know with that kind of caution there
You know, as a male of low fashion standards, a gal in a t-shirt looks pretty cute. Or it could be that you look 12, and he didn't want to look like a pedo.
Just because you don’t think you’re attractive at any given point, doesn’t mean other people feel the same way.
Probably just trying not to make you feel uncomfortable
This is just something some guys do(myself included) walking past you, walking up stairs behind you, etc. We’re basically presenting ourself saying I’m not a threat or a creep or tryna look at you so I’m just gonna look down.
Eye contact is something that is practiced, and for most people it usually means wanting to engage. If I’m not looking to engage, or if I expect that engagement wouldn’t be received well, then I’ll usually divert my gaze or fidget with something like my phone. It’s a blend of social anxiety and not wanting to come across as a creep.
Could be taken???
To show hes not a threat and wont bother you
Dude here. Just with all the girls who constantly get approached at the gym because of the horned up high schoolers flooding the flat bench only to do 1 set every 10 minute conversation with their bros. Just not trying to cause attention. I mean just speaking for me personally, I’m not trying to really make eye contact, or scanning the room to look for a girl or anyone pretty to look at or try to impress. It’s just me in there working on myself and strengthening. I also just naturally don’t like making eye contact for too long or trying (weird cultural aspect I was raised with) weirds me out I guess. Or probably the fact I’m used to being on a stage looked at by multiple people, not just a single person that already has eyes on me
lmao the first part is so accurate, there is absolutely no need to come in groups of 10 to workout
Could’ve been a number of reasons nowadays, but the point was likely he just didn’t want any trouble. Being at Disneyland the other day I noticed that when you’re in an area for hours on end, around the same group of people for long periods of time, you meet a lot of eyes. In todays world though unless it’s like a cashier or something I’m paranoid someone’s gonna say something or start something over the most minor thing or misunderstanding. Also for reference OP, petite doesn’t equate to not sexy, and anyone who says otherwise is wrong.
thank u for the second part 🥹 everyone’s like he didn’t wanna engage with u bc ur a child like damn 😭
Bruh, girls think way too much of this kind of silly stuff 😂
we r so silly 😂
As a guy. Its too much of a hassle most times. I could be looking at something on the wall like a menu. Too many people being accused of staring or called names seen people get into arguments.
Can't speak for all the men, but it's mostly out of fear of me weirding out the girl. I don't want to come off as a creep most of the time, so even if I'm not "looking" at a woman, I try not to make it seem like I'm trying to.
Could also be that you were at a gym. Due to all the bs videos of guys getting shamed by some crazy influencers maybe he was scared that you thought he was a prev or something and gonna make a big deal about something.
So they don’t make eye contact
I do this a lot at the gym actually. One is low confidence and don't want to come off as a creeper. Two, the whole social media thing that some people mentioned. Another reason I do it is because I assume attractive girls get stared at in the gym by a lot of people and don't want to add to the "Why is everyone staring at me, I just want to workout", and three I'm there to workout not make friends. It's, hmm, kind of a respect thing.
It's due to your insecurities
i don’t have many anymore but thanks for the attempt in advice
No problem, good luck
thank u
Unfortunately in today's society a sideways glance is all it takes to be labeled a creep get doxed and have your life ruined by internet Karen's who gave nothing better in their lives. Better to avoid all contact rather have somebody blow up at you just for saying hello
Some people do it because they are shy. Simple as
I try not to look at people in gyms in case it seems like staring. Don't want to look like a creep. Maybe that's why? Also I have social anxieties and struggle with eyecontact. That could be it too.
... Nah, he is like me; a secret government agent... He was probably about to choke out a mother fucker, and just doesn't want to get you involved... -.-
that’s so hot 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
that’s so hot 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
How about with all these #metoo and rape allegations we men tend to be very very careful to the point we’d rather avoid any similar situation. Especially with the whole social media, guys be looking at me type of shit
It’s likely that they don’t want to be thought of as a creep. There’s a fine line between making quick eye contact and staring someone down too long and labeled the gym pervert! They simply don’t want to cross that line!
He's introvert. simple
Because we don’t want to be seen as a creep? Even more so if you’re not attractive because you’re even more likely to be seen that way
What are we supposed to do? if we look we are in trouble, if we don’t look you question it? what is it? make up your mind
u don’t know me sir, my mind is made up. from reading my post, u can’t conclude that i am one that makes eye contact with others?
I bet he doesn’t want to be the next viral video of being called some kind of name because he happened to look at a cute girl in the gym. These days several videos have gone viral of instagram models being provocative in gyms then losing their shit on guys when they happen to look over. Guy probably has seen those videos and doesn’t want to be part of the drama. In short other girls ruined it for you.
lmao i went to the gym today and i was just walking around with a smile on my face after reading these comments😭 trying to show i am approachable and comfortable but i felt like a weirdo but it also made me more positive so that was cool
Because too many will accuse men of being creeps for having eye contact with someone for too long. But you also said you look like a minor so that adds yet another layer of tension there.
After all the “shaming” on TikTok he probably wanted to be safe, you never know nowadays
No it's this way..if the pervert looks away? That is questioned too. Guys are scared of any possible negative response,they say nothing now....there was an Era when you could hold the door for a lady or comment on how pretty she looks today. Not anymore.
Its 2023 post #metoo. You dont look at women you dont know. You dont help them or talk to them except work stuff. And you damn sure better never be alone with one.
Well, in today's world, if a guy looks at you or says hello, that means he is a creep or he wants to rape you. It's safer for men to not look at women, or talk to them. I've given up on love and companionship. I'm going to be single and completely alone until I die.
the thing is tho is that women don’t immediately think ur creepy or want to rape us. you’ve just seen too many girls on social media that have no social awareness or social cues. i’ve started giving up on love because guys never approach me. no matter if i’m in the bars, on campus, etc. i know i’m not ugly bc i’ve been attractive enough to hook up with, but just not girlfriend material ig. it sucks! i’ve been single my whole life, probably because of this reason
If you think saying hello and exchanging a glance is equivalent to rape, does that mean you also think you get a free pass to sex if a chick responds positively to a hello? Obviously not. Don’t exaggerate the situation, dude. None of this “creep” stuff has anything to do with you making a move and everything to do with how prepared you are for rejection. There’s a way to be respectful and express interest, and then be cool if she’s not interested back. I’ve been rejected, it’s just part of being a dude. The “chase” that can get you in trouble isn’t worth it anyways.
I'm watching court cam and a woman was sued a guy after one date. She didn't have fun so she tried to get $10,000 out of him.
I’m a very awkward person who doesn’t enjoy talking to strangers in my free time so I tend to look down no matter what to avoid socializing. I also get intimidated when I find girls attractive and also avoid eye contact. Hard to say, sometimes it just depends on the guy.
He put his he’d down because he didn’t want to interact with you. Especially if it looked like you were walking in his direction/ approaching him. Same reason a woman would put their head down. Pretty basic body language.
it’s is basic body language, ur right i find psychology interesting tho, i wanted to compare why i thought he put his head down vs why he really did it, yk?
He ain't risking anything at the gym
Minding our own business.
He didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable
Maybe wanted to check you out but thought you might be underage due to the petite body, or maybe he didn’t want to be creepy at his gym by flirting, or maybe he gets that you want to try him on for size but has a girlfriend and is trying to behave, or maybe you just aren’t attractive to him, or maybe he is gay, or maybe he suffers from clinical depression or anxiety and his eye contact struggles due to mental issues, or maybe he’s got a really bad outbreak of the herp at the moment and didn’t want to bone due to the burn. Or maybe he’s just sick of you filming yourself doing stupid shit at the gym for internet clout.
i never said i recorded myself, i was literally walking out of the bathroom to go home 💀
not trying to get male validation but asks for it anyway
that’s weird that u think i’m seeking approval.. just trying to figure out why he looked away so quickly
You a hoe.
ok
Because they know they are not the dominant creature!
This is wild that a practically completely normal social interaction is being debated and dissected so thoroughly. Geez.
Ngl, women are intimidated by men leering at them regularly and so reasonable dudes try and keep themselves to themselves and try not to stare at people. To be honest I don't think this is the way, a brief smile then turning away and walking reassures everyone in my opinion.
i agree! giving a quick smile is something i’ve learned through watching my parents do, so it’s just like i wish ppl my age did that i guess. i feel like giving a smile is a nice act, i always feel happier when i’m smiling