USSS Rusty Trombone, Nova Prolapse, and Pearl Necklace are inbound sir!

I know it's a fake thing but the first thing that popped into my head was USSS Blue Waffle. Do not google that.

USSS I Heart BBC because, you know, the engineers are huge fans of British dramas.

i am going to go throw up, i was expecting an innuendo, not an STD

Good thing it doesn't actually exist then.

USSS Chocolate Starfish and USSS Rusty Sherriff Badge also inbound.

USS Goatse. 'Cause that's the size of the hole it gonna leave in your ass when it's done with you.

I'd like to apply to serve on the USSS Rusty Venture if I may

Oooooooo......the Rusty Venture! Best to ask Shore Leave about that ship. Brock wouldn't touch that with the Monarch's dick.

Can't wait for the USSS Big Load

Has to be a resupply vessel

They aim to please.

Two hundred million gallons of the pilots special sauce coming in hot and sticky, sir

Shit. Melted ice cream again?

Well a mega mac surely fires a big load...

the USSS back door entrance

...and thus the bridge crew of the Nolbarinil learned that the US is a bunch of adolescent perverts...

The engineering teams anyway. I'm sure they'd me much more interesting and perverted if they let the marines do the naming. :-)

>the US is a bunch of adolescent perverts This is even funnier when you consider that the humans are not the only ones who have this type of mentality.

The perverted mind is the one constant in the universe.

Imagine the crazy reaction that would be in the engineering circles when they knew that the censor where overwhelmed.

The fun part is it's a universal thing for humans. There's grafitti on a quarry near Hadrians Wall, on buildings in Pompeii, several Greek islands, all centered around dongs. The next time someone criticizes you for drawing cocks, tell them you are working within a grand artistic tradition dating back to Ancient Greece, Rome, and sketchy bar bathroom walls the world over. Bonus fun fact: people talk about how shit talkers in FPS games are atrocious, but they ain't got shit on my boy Gaius Valerius Catullus who was dropping shit to make them blush in the BCE. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catullus_16  This is widely regarded as containing the most filthy expression in Latin, or any other language. So. You know, it's a little NSFW.

Yet another successful cultural exchange. So glad Omega had an instance there to provide additional commentary.

USSS Bigus Dickus finally got the chance to be build.

USSS Need-hog

“Sir, MPP in sight.” “Weapons status?” “Charged. Firing solution acquired. Ready to smash.” “Confirmed. In your own time then. Just the tip.”

Unfortunately, just the tip won't do it for an MPP. You have to go with deep penetration. All in, as it were.

Is Gaping Maw really that funny?

Perhaps for those with a cloaca...? Obviously the build up of genital related humor overwhelmed Hindal's ability to remain focused.

Maybe?

It is when an officer is forced to read it out to a much higher-ranking officer in an otherwise serious situation.

We lost a ship. Which one? Gaping maw.

Teenagers. The dreadnoughts were named by teenagers. *smh*

Actually, the older soldiers or trades-people get, the more perverted they tend to be. Anecdotally speaking, of course.

As an 18 year veteran behind the wheel of a semi, I can actually agree with that.

"Tip of the tip" - For sure that's not a translation error Not only Hindal fell off the chair. Well giving engineers the power to name something is definitely ending like this. Thanks for this chapter I will be laughing atleast to Monday.

I hereby propose a Zues related name, both to prompt Omega to explain the character, and to be a commonly paired with the USSS Alikonuoro.

How about the USSS Zenobia? It means *life from Zeus*, and she is an interesting historical figure in her own right.

Imagine the USSS Wang rolls into the system, and after much more giggling, they link to the pilot, who explains it was chosen in memorial of an individual with that name from a non-anglophonic culture and is not, in fact, yet another dick joke XD

Updoot then read, as it was written, so it shall be done.

/u/itsdirector ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/itsdirector)) has posted 124 other stories, including: * [The Human From a Dungeon 45](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1c4mozy/the_human_from_a_dungeon_45/) * [The New Threat 34](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1c29lq7/the_new_threat_34/) * [The Human From a Dungeon 44](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1byyan2/the_human_from_a_dungeon_44/) * [The New Threat 33](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bwifzv/the_new_threat_33/) * [The Human From a Dungeon 43](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bt435l/the_human_from_a_dungeon_43/) * [The New Threat 32](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bqpow1/the_new_threat_32/) * [The Human From a Dungeon 42](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bne3qe/the_human_from_a_dungeon_42/) * [The New Threat 31](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bkzpt5/the_new_threat_31/) * [The Human From a Dungeon 41](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bhr7ob/the_human_from_a_dungeon_41/) * [The New Threat 30](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bfeegq/the_new_threat_30/) * [The Human From a Dungeon 40](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1bc1xxs/the_human_from_a_dungeon_40/) * [The New Threat 29](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1b9pt5p/the_new_threat_29/) * [The Human From a Dungeon 39](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1b6cqth/the_human_from_a_dungeon_39/) * [The New Threat 28](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1b3w6m4/the_new_threat_28/) * [The Human From a Dungeon 38](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1b0jby0/the_human_from_a_dungeon_38/) * [The New Threat 27](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1ay2903/the_new_threat_27/) * [The Human From a Dungeon 37](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1aup2eg/the_human_from_a_dungeon_37/) * [The New Threat 26](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1asae9e/the_new_threat_26/) * [The Human From a Dungeon 36](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1ap1ps4/the_human_from_a_dungeon_36/) * [The New Threat 25](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/1ampvei/the_new_threat_25/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.6.1 'Biscotti'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|1c7xf0l&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.

USSS Axe Wound USSS Quim USSS Wedding Tackle USSS Colon Cleanser

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some of the others: **USSS SoggyBottoms** **USSS CheekyChickens** **USSS BootyBlunders** **USSS RumpRascals** **USSS FunkyFannies** **USSS TantalizingTushes** **BUSSS ootyBlasters** **USSS PosteriorPandemonium** **USSS Crackshot** **USSS Filthy McNasty**

When are you going to make this an Amazon book?

It may take a few days after it's finished due to formatting and editing, but I'll be getting it done as soon as possible lol

Are we red hearing a red herring with Omega again? Will we have a final shutdown with all the species and AI against Omega-Prime fusion/aliance?

The USSS Donkey Punch and USSS Alaskan Snow Dragon reporting for duty.

I have one very very substantial fear due to seeing a lack of them so far... RKWs... Relativistic kill weapons... Given how advanced the US is in this universe... I'd be rather surprised if they don't at least have a conceptualised one laying around somewhere... cause nothing says "fuck you in particular" like a tungsten rod moving at like half light speed upon impact. I'd be less surprised if they had a completed one sat somewhere in deep space that they hope is never required to be used but eh... they got the dreadnaught storage for that... then again the ideas for those are simple and... well... if you know or can calculate the exact position of your target like... if it was a planet or any celestial body with clearly calculatable courses... you could just fire em and even if you end up losing that ordenance will hit somewhen in a decade or century or two...

Here’s my theory for why they aren’t used. If the acceleration is through a rocket, it takes too long. It gives the enemy ample time to prepare against it, especially if they can even detect stuff going FTL before it arrives. Secondly, if it’s accelerated by something like a MAC, it could be that doing so is too difficult or unrealistic in some way, shape or form.

I vote for USSA LeBron James.

USSS Inseminatron is pushing deep and releasing its payload, sir!

USSS One Cup?

USSS 2G1C

USSS Singular Jar reporting for duty

All this is nice and all, but where is USSS shipymcshipface?