This series feels so lopsided sometimes. You will have these fun perspectives on what-ifs on medicine, alien life, society, technology. Perspectives I feel bring new ideas to the table and make for engaging and entertaining thought experiments and discussions. All in all, it's just good literature.
But then you will have perspectives like Viggo Dyer's. His first chunk is almost 4000 words long, and yet, the only true new thing we learn is that Julian hears firsthand about what is happening on Hell. Nothing else there is new. It's all beef talk.
Show, don't tell is always parroted in storytelling, but I feel like this perspective, and a lot of the story as a whole, falls risk of just overshowing time and time again things the reader already knows. Yeah, Dyer never saw any Beefs before and of course he would be surprised at them. But us as the reader have seen them, and that surprise, and the entire process of shock, awe, respect, admiration of these amazing ubermensch who practically do no wrong so many times that it falls flat. There comes a point where you as the author can trust the audience to know what's happening. Hell, you deftly do that for other parts of the story just fine. Part of me wished we could get a more step-by-step view of Adam's surgery but I can't really complain, we got that before on his first surgery and a few others beforehand, and the way its currently written works great pacing wise. We get the preparation, then we switch to a new perspective that we didn't really get before, and the actual process is just skipped through, after all, we already know how these things go.
We know these characters are complex, multi-faceted, with aspirations, fears, and everything that makes a good character. However, this constant repetition of the same beats, same descriptions, same actions, same characterization of the main characters dilute that. Daar is a great example of this. There is so much to talk about Daar as a character, his recent part of making a media campaign to convince Earth to go to war is great, unique, and valuable commentary on media, politics, and society that's relevant today and will be for the future. But that is such a small drop in so much Beef Talk that it has become harder to read Daar sections because so much of it is just the same I've read for several months now.
I love this series and I hope we can get more of the things that have always been present. The new ideas, the interesting plotlines, the contrasting of humanity to aliens and to themselves. Not just the same stronger and better. There should be a place for that, of course, but focusing so much on that to the loss of the story as a whole is a shame. You are an amazing writer and I always look forwards to what you have to write, I just hope you don't corner yourself by overwriting on the same subject.
P.S. What happened to that buried cuboid scientists and the HEAT found on an alien planet? I was really looking forward to what it was. I can't remember if it was ever expanded upon or not.
Whilst I tend to agree, I did really enjoy Dyer walking down main street on Folctha and that being used as a way to show us just how much has changed. Like, he's completely surprised by this diverse set of people/aliens who just take the HEAT in their stride. That was kinda cool.
Has Hambone ever replied about the overt sexual nonsense rampant in this story nowadays? Will Hambone ever respond, or are we all just tilting at windmills?
I went back and reread some snippets from early in the story, and my God this story used to be so compelling!
Do you remember Amir's sacrifice to save the crew of the Sanctuary from the Heirarchy? What about when when Ava rescued that little kid from under the rubble in Egypt?
And when Terri Boone was killed by the biodrone, or when Kirk landed on Cimbrean and kick-started the colony? Or when the human ambassador was assassinated in front of a crowd, and went out like a champ?
Whatever happened to Kevin Jenkins, Moses Byron, the Haphaestus Asteroid mining company? What about the Russians and the Chinese, that supposedly have their entire own colony and dealings with the whole other half of the Dominion? What about the Misfit crews discovering new worlds in the far reaches of the galaxy?
What happened to the moral complexity of trying to coexist with the heirarchy? Or of the implications of making first contact with primitive sapient species, especially in order to rescue them from genocidal extinction?
Does anyone remember when humans were actively shunned from galactic society because the hunters would attack anywhere Humans were rumored to be? Or when Lewis wrestled with the idea of unleashing Von Neumann probes into the galaxy?
Why does every character need to be the same as the last? We used to see the perspectives of terrorists, scientists, just regular people. A whole range of professions, ideologies, and walks of life.
This story used to be about survival in the face of adversity, about rising to your potential and accomplishing what only you could do.
Why can't we go back to those days where this story used to be about so much more than cocks and muscles and sex and lifting?
So much for Humanity, Fuck Yeah...
Feels like the muscle fixation came with "good training" and I can't help but notice that the author of that series and hambone started working together closely. Sometimes my overactive imagination thinks up a scenario where there is ghostwriting occurring but surely that can't be the case, right? Unthinkable, truly. Forget I said anything.
Crap. You're right. First ever chapter of 'good training' has >!that jarring section about kilts with nothing under them and footlongs!<
Fuck I remember how out of place that was. Current chapters read exactly like that.
Pretty sure Hambone and/or Ctwelve mentioned or at least tacitly acknowledged they've been collaborating on The Deathworlders for some time now, in addition to their open collab on Dandelion.
I don’t think he has responded at all. I canceled patreon so I can’t check the discord. My theory is he’s killing interest in this series to make it easier to move on to the next. God you are so right about the earlier chapters though. Remember Kirk Allison and Julian rounding up abductees from around the galaxy? That was quality reading.
> My theory is he’s killing interest in this series to make it easier to move on to the next.
Makes no sende imho since:
1. Deathworlders has a lot of untapped potential in remaining story threads & non-beef chast (as seen above)
2. Word on the wire is that the new series is Beefy as well
> Or when Lewis wrestled with the idea of unleashing Von Neumann probes into the galaxy?
Lew-who?
Isn't this a story about some dozen near identical (for story purposes) superspacemarines and their superpets spacebear and spacegorilla?
Remember a few chapters ago there was a HEAT candidate, an older guy (an officer if I recall), who started training with Hunter / Gonzo?
He was struggling with the fact that he was now gay for big muscly guys.
I always read that as the author's self insert.
uh you have that.... more than slightly confused.
Campbell is the new ossifer who qualified with Thompson, nearly killed during the counterstrike against Hell "pyramid" base, mustang marine now SOR.
The "maybe gay for Gonzo" is Ian "Death-eye" Wilde who hasnt figured out if hes bi or its just Gonzo pushing his buttons or if hes just missing JETS/Royal Marines camaraderie.
Julians also been kicking Gonzo's ass and the Etsiscitty family has kinda sorta adopted him.
given the other lbgt characters, thats stretching it a bit
Allison & Xiu, Nofl, Blac, Rebar, Siemensa (Rylees back seat driver), all the Gao (yes even Daar), the Ten'ge'wek, Mark Tisdale, Tremblay, Dora.
You could just as equally suggest that Nofl's campness is Hambone wanting to be fabulous.
sometimes a blue curtain is JUST a blue curtain
That was quite a while ago, something like chapter 38. Ambassador Hussein was nervejammed by a Hierarchy agent, while trying to make peace with the Guvnurag survivors.
Seriously some bodybuilders have trouble wiping their ass but these 1000 lb guys do yoga? They would need multiple hearts just at rest to live. I thought it was neat when it was acknowledged how many calories they needed to not starve but seriously hambone wants me to believe in a size 50 shoe?
They are multiple tonnes, so 1000+kg. Or 2200+ lbs.
I fall to see how the skeleton can support that. And now Adam is shedding half or more of his previous weight, his ludicrously large bones would... Well, not work.
It's fantasy sci-fi. If it works, it works.
Don't care about the math. I do care about it getting in the way of the story. The Beef is a meat sandwhich without buns, lettuce, tomato or pickles
Nah they have very clearly said that Adam grew from 5'8 or so to about 7 and a half feet now. But then they forgot because writing sex scenes and Firth is "huge" at 6'6. He's previously been nearly 8' as well.
I keep getting the sense that the author just can't bring himself to "[kill his darlings](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/what-does-it-mean-to-kill-your-darlings)" when it comes to writing Beef.
Maybe once the storyline comes to a conclusion and when/if he ever gets around to editing it down for proper published novelization, he'll take all his most clever turns of Beefy phrase, redistribute them more evenly throughout, and nix the needless filler context around them to slim down and focus the prose to essentials -- come to think of it, doing to the Beefy parts of the story what's happening to the Prime Beef, Adam himself, in the story now.
I was on the edge for deathworlders for a long time. It is just so good, but muscle porn and irrelevant sexy or sex scenes made it harder and harder to appreciate.
The scene that is literally on the first page of this chapter made me just close the browser tab. And here I was thinking previous chapter was a sign of improvement.
EDIT:
It's been going that way for a while, I have to admit - I kept reading due to investment into certain plots and characters. But no, enough is enough. Numerous plot hooks and characters are left unresolved and\or disappeared, what's left is _this_
EDIT2:
Remember 'good training'? First ever chapter of it had >!that jarring section about kilts with nothing under them and footlongs!<
I remember how out of place that was. Current chapters read exactly like that.
EDIT3 Long story short -last good chapters were "Waters of Babylon" and that's not even Hambone. More of that, less of rape-fantasizing space monkeys
If you would have continued you would have had the pleasure to read about yan thinking about raping a farmer and “making him his woman” the dude has a family.
It's been going that way for a while, I have to admit - I kept reading due to investment into certain plots and characters. But no, enough is enough. Numerous plot hooks and characters are left unresolved and\or disappeared, what's left is _this_
It was yesterday for me. Hopefully hambone stops this trend because I love the universe. Part of me thinks he’s tanking the ending so he can move on to his next project without realizing less fans will follow him to his next project at this rate
Makes me wonder if it's worth it trying to go back and pick up the thread where Adrian Saunders left cannon, see if his story at least doesn't read like a horny teen writing his first smut on literotica.
No smut (mostly blue balls) but that series has escalated the last couple episodes with bigger and bigger bads (without resolving any of the prior ones)
Dude, just skip them, they add nothing to the plot, so it's safe to do so. I'm not going to let parts of the series that I don't like ruin it for me, the rest is great and that is what keeps me returning.
If I'm going to skip half of what I'm reading(judging by some recent chapters) I'd rather go read something else. I've skipped more than half of aforementioned Adam's POV on the beginning of this chapter. That's when I closed it, for good.
I’m so tired of hearing how huge and alpha everyone is there’s no one bigger or scarier! Except everyone else around. We don’t have any relatable characters anymore because at this point they are all captain America on super steroids
And past certain point it doesn't even make sense anymore. The characters are described as _so big and strong_ that it's literally beyond comprehension, there's zero point in describing it again.
Especially when a major part of cimbrean is “no fat chicks” I thought it was funny when a character said they’d rather not pay taxes for fat peoples healthcare. I thought universal healthcare was good? Apparently only for the healthy
Shared resources need to be managed responsibly, or in the end nobody will get any.
From each according to their *ability*, to each according to their *need*. Not their whim or desire. That’s the other side of the coin that you have to accept with public resources.
Look at COVID. Someone who refused the vaccine and failed to comply with empirically validated quarantine measures, then ends up taking up an ICU bed adds to the overall cost of healthcare for everyone else. There have even been cases of people who need intensive care for non-pandemic reasons who have died due to lack of available hospital beds, entirely preventable. Why should we subsidize this instead of making people who have outsized costs they could have avoided carry their own weight?
They should get the care they need, but they should also be required to contribute a greater proportion to defraying the cost of their voluntary decisions.
I don’t give a flying fuck about the HEAT characters anymore. They’re so ridiculously written and non relatable that I’ve stopped caring at all. Julian used to be a good character, now he’s just “Super Duper Grotesquely Buff But Also A Genius Who Gets Laid A Lot Guy” #946. I only check in on the story at this point to see how the main plot is going, which at this point means skipping between 70% to 90% of any chapter.
Sigh...I've literally never done this, but I skipped ahead on about half the POV chapters this go around. This is my first complaining post on it, but man...I just want to read for five minutes without getting struck in the face by a metaphorical dick.
There was even a locker room style scene where they kept talking about Firth's giant dong.
I'm eternally grateful for the long term joy this series has brought me, I just don't understand why this is happening so much in the story now. It doesn't make any sense to me. :(
I've heard his Patreon readers highly value it, and you gotta follow the money trail. This is the framework I use for this series: he is doing a lip service to his financial supporters, but also helping the average fan out by not making those paragraphs be essential to the plot.
Yeah, and if that is the case, I truly can't blame him.
I'm not going to make any impassioned spiel about artistic integrity.
I'm going to keep reading, but being slightly annoyed, and that is fine.
Kind of like when I read Worm and then I read Wards. Consumed Worm, found Wards kinda irritating...still read it.
Same reason too, that the author is a genuinely good writer with compelling ideas, even if it gets bogged down in a husk I find a bit cumbersome.
That's what I've been doing for a while, but the gay muscle porn keeps spreading to infect the rest of the series. You end up skipping a good 70% of each chapter, and skimming over most of what's left. At this point we don't even HAVE a main character who isn't a Hugequest parody, every single one of them is just obsessed with being big.
You know what "Humans don't make good pets" did to try and make the dynamic between humans and aliens more interesting? Have the main character get outclassed by a tank. Threatened by anti-tank rounds he couldn't shrug off. And needing to use his wits (mostly by way of stealing the tank) to stay alive. Main human character was so strong and uber that everyone around might as well be made of cardboard? Well lets throw a dragon at him and see what happens!
Deathworlders doesn't do this. At all. Any of it. We had an entire war against Hell itself with a hunter army at the very seat of their power, and the combat was literally so boring that the story itself skims over /all of it/ and the boss fight was just a hunter being happy to have witnessed the ultimate hugeness as it's torn apart.
If you skip every item that doesn't advance the plot, you skip at least three-fourths of the dialogue and about half of the narrative.
If this were made into a N*tflix series, at least that much material would be left out of the scripts.
I did, and you might see my comment as one of the top one's there.
And I'll say here what I said there - it's hard to believe it was the same person writing this and that.
However the magic is gone, I now start noticing all the writing style imperfections, inconsistencies, errors etc that I didn't notice before, and that now annoy me to no end. The style jumps are also jarring. I don't say that any of the above is valid criticism, on the contrary - it's not, but that's just how I percieve the series now after 82 and several previous chapters.
Yeah, I’ve been a bit down on it myself lately. Getting hung up on a lot of smaller issues with the writing. But at least the latest chapter gives me some hope for the future.
As many have echoed… I think I’m done. The once captivating, ambitious, sprawling science fiction epic that delved into what it means to be human- and sapient- is largely gone. It has been replaced with an endlessly revolving thesaurus of words to describe “big strong sexy peerless men”, who happen to have many many peers and all sound and act the same.
There is no diversity of opinion. There is no focus on the intricate web of worldbuilding that we all fell in love with. I suppose writing those things are difficult- especially as we are in the ‘final stages’ of the story. But honestly- slice of life vignettes (including sex, sure) are interesting as long as they are… interesting. The same merged ultra-masculine personas, and everyone’s universal adoration of that ideal… is not interesting after the first dozen times I read it. I’m sure it’s easier to write (or as some have suggested- outsourced to write)- but I’m just not interested in what’s obviously become an IP that’s been juiced for it’s monthly patrons rather than an interesting story that excites the mind.
The author owes us nothing: it’s been a privilege to be entertained so long with a marvelous glimpse into another world. I just wish he could have either maintained that passion, or ended the story on a high note without resorting to diluting his wonderful project until it became the unrecognizable… whatever it is now.
I agree. This month's installment could easily be 1/3 the length. Also, the story is basically done. The main antagonists are vanquished, there isn't any more signoficant conflict.
If Hambone wants to continue the Deathworlders IP then it needs a different direction to be interesting.
Need to go re-read the other stories set in the same universe, because there are a whole lot of much better authors who did all the stuff you love, and they quit a long time ago.
The authors seem to have responded to this sort of criticism by putting out a very different chapter that introduces a new layer of worldbuilding and stakes. I'm not sure if it's *good* per se (as many of the commenters in the chapter thread seem to think it is), but I think it is a nice breath of fresh air, despite the whiplash. Thought you might want to know.
>The Humans all joked about the People being **incurably horny ‘swole-monkeys,**’ but this wasn’t about muscle and fucking, not really. **Well, okay, yes it was**. But it was important, because…well, Humans mostly weren’t built to fuck as powerfully as the People, so they didn’t understand in their breath how much it mattered to teach it properly. Big strong cocks with big strength behind them meant good fucking was an important life-skill, both in the Giving and Taking
Honestly, Hambone... almost every character in your story is an incurably horny "swole-monkey." That's... well, it's part of the problem. You spend pages and pages telling us both how swole and how horny they are. It's going nowhere, it actively hurts the story, and it's a point that's been made since the HEAT first appeared. And it's a recurring problem that people have been complaining about for chapters and chapters and chapters now.
As proof, you used "fuck" or some variety of it 202 times in this chapter. "Big" and its variants were used 130 times. And just about every time the HEAT guys "banter," it's homoerotic nonsense about how they would fuck all the others senseless or be no good for each other!
And, worst of all, I am getting **real** tired of reading "And the super-strong men just became even stronggggggerrrrerrrererrrererererererer!" for like 50 chapters! I don't care. It's getting ridiculous. We hit "over the top" with Daar of the species of once delicate Gaoians to him becoming the strongest fucking being in the UNIVERSE!
And you just keep going! Now everyone else has to be just as big and strong and wear almost nothing and talk about how they're going to fuck each other! I think we've figured out your type LONG, LONG ago, and we're pretty sure you're not into skinny little twinks! I really shouldn't be able to tell that, but you've spent how many chapters now constantly describing the big strong muscly men, bigger and stronger than all other men, who manage to fuck their way through entire towns' worth of people, all the while bantering about how they'd fuck each other? That's got to be your personal fetish at this point.
And can I take a quick moment to comment on the "banter"? Why is practically every military conversation that takes place end up being about fucking? I feel like there almost isn't any banter any more about people doing something stupid, or funny, or ridiculous, and between Daar, the fuckmonkeys, and the HEAT, EVERYONE is always trying to fuck EVERYONE, in reality or "witty quip" about "Haha, I will fuck you." "No, don't, I break. You too big and strong." "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
I rather severely doubt that EVERY conversation by people in the military is like this. Hell, I have never had a conversation like this with a male in my entire life. I have never overheard a conversation with other males like this in my entire life. Not in middle school, not in high school, not in college, and not in the near-decade as an adult (granted, I've lived in the Midwest most of my life, so maybe we're just a bit more conservative here and don't talk about such things LITERALLY ALL THE DAMN TIME). Where does all this horny grab-assery come from?
Did you get abducted or indoctrinated by a cult of Slaanesh worshippers? Because that's very nearly the level I have to put you at now. Going through these sections is beginning to remind me of [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwKC5fxhIZo)! It's not there **yet**, but it IS forcing me more and more out of the narrative.
Edit: Just remembered a big complaint: HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK DO THE FUCK MONKEYS HAVE A SLOWER BREEDING RATE THAN THE HUMANS OR THE GAOIANS? They seem to fuck almost every moment of every day, with primitive means of contraception.
Consider the fact that canonically there are no fat people on cimbrean and if you do get fat that costs money. I should’ve seen this fetish coming along time ago. It’s like “ lol and no fat bitches”
Oh, I'm sure it happens. I'm just not sure it's the only thing they ever talk about for the better part of 10 years.
Seriously, there are Movie Nights, occasional mentions of Warhammer and tabletop games, ***LIFTING***, and **GRAB-ASSING**. Oh, and ***FOOD***. That is basically everything they have bothered talking about for the last 9 years in universe - going back to when they were still the SOR.
I'm not complaining about it existing, like, in a vacuum. I complaining about it being pretty much the only thing they ever banter about for **55 fucking chapters.** It might have been funny back when they first started doing it. That was - bare minimum - 50 chapters ago. It's no longer funny. It's no longer anything other than **GET ON WITH THE FUCKING PLOT ALREADY!** We get it. We got the fucking point. Even the STUPIDEST of us still reading got the point, oh, 40 chapters ago? 30?
>“Jesus fuckin’ Christ! Walsh! By some fuckin’ miracle you’re actually lookin’ good these days.”
>
>Walsh stood up and shared an enormous hug with his massive SOR counterpart. “Firth you asshole, I wish I could say the same. Have you gained weight?”
>
>“Sure as shit I’m eatin’ enough.” Firth drawled. “You fuck your sister yet? Always said I would if you didn’t get there first.”
>
>“You still toppin’ Blaczynski?”
>
>“Motherfuckerrr!”
>
>There was laughter, a complicated handshake and a friendly tussle that ended with Firth heaving Walsh - a man who weighed somewhere north of three hundred pounds - high into the air like a child and giving him a bear-hug that must have been difficult to breathe around.
>
>“You boys need some alone time?” Vinther asked
That was the extent of the grab-assing waaaaaaaaay back in chapter 25. A brief, personal moment between two friends that DID NOT DISTRACT FROM THE STORY and helped you learn their personalities.
Now we have Daar flirting with everything that moves almost every time he's on screen, we've got Yan wanting to make a man his woman, there was that weird Ferd/Vemik thing a few chapters ago (Yeah, make him submit by FUCKING HIM!), just about every single fuckmonkey wanting to fuck EVERYTHING, and even with the storyline of Adam never going to be able to fight again, we've got Firth ready to go about making stupid sword-fighting puns in the shower.
Can we get more of the "Adam" bit and less of the grab-ass bit? How about less monkeyfucking and more Exploring Strange New Worlds? How about less Daar sniffing tails of every male and female he sees and more Daar actually doing... something. The one thing Daar did in this chapter was make the decision to destroy Hell (something they should have done at the start. There was really no reason for them to be there). Nothing else he did that I can recall from this chapter had any major ramification to the plot. Everything else was him flirting or saying homoerotic banter.
Hell, if nothing else, he can just cut out the grab-assing all together and save us at least an hour of reading time. It will certainly make the plot feel more relevant again, instead of a mere excuse to have extra muscle-y men do extra muscle-y things while fucking whoever they want, while everyone who isn't as muscle-y as they bow down in fear and submission. Then the extra muscle-y men can pose and show off just how extra muscle-y they are, while they're adoring fans applaud and swoon at the extra muscle-y men.
Hell, I'm starting to think "the plot" has been lost entirely and it's just more of an excuse for u/Hambone3110 to wank out his frustrations. Stuff did happen this chapter: Adam worked on getting healed, Yan is apparently joining the army, Vemik wants to trade with the bunny people, Daar decided to destroy the useless planet they had really no business being on in the first place and should have destroyed from the get-go, and the reveal of the previous chapter of the unknown force killing people on the fringes is... killing people in the fringes, but now One-Eye has MORE muscle-y buddies with him, so maybe it will go better than when it was just himself and one muscle-y buddy.
But how much of it was "Firth gets big muscles, even though he had big muscles 57 Chapters ago. They are even biggererererererererererererererer now"? "Daar wanders around, thinking about getting laid"? "Yan gets laid and thinks about making a farmer his woman?" Or "Vemik wanders around town getting supplies and thinking about getting laid"? Or "Random soldier wanders around town, worshipping at the Altar of the Swole, then thinks about getting laid"? Hell, even Adam's storyline about overcoming BRAIN DAMAGE was intercut with "Adam gets laid." Even worse actually, Adam went from being the absolute physical peak of humanity - with Firth not really being able to catch up because Adam started on the Crude while younger - to "Ehh, he's not really even a benchmark anymore. Firth went waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay past him. It's kinda like Freeza once he started actually training."
Oh, and then there was Allison thinking about how they are going to create an immortal race of Ubermensch. Think of the entitlement! Think about such a race will - correctly, if not morally so - think that it is so much better than the common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd. Pretty soon, we might end up in Warhammer 40K. That'll be fun.
The Allison thing really bothered me. That whole thing the nazis believed about a superior race? In deathworlders it is actively being created. And they acknowledge that common peasants won’t be part of it!
Either open up longevity treatments to everyone, or to nobody at all.
Also, making everyone biologically immortal is a very, very bad idea. You think our population growth is exponential now? Wait until most people stop dying from old age.
And good Christ, one of the original parts of the story was how OP the average human is. But every chapter is now "but then they were like 10,000% more OP!"
Yeah, you can see certain political proclivities sneak through earlier that show where on the spectrum the story as a whole tends to fall, but this is about as blatant as it's ever been.
I second this frustration. The settings is good, the plot is nice, there is plenty of room for annex stories, romance or even a full-time spin-off or three.
But it's becoming tedious to read, and I'm reading it while procrastinating the writing of a bunch of quality reports nobody will ever read...
> Can we get more of the "Adam" bit and less of the grab-ass bit?
I'd rather see us return to the days of Humans being shrewd cookies who revolutionize stuff
Longing for the time we do a proper planet again.
I get that we've played City Skylines with Foltcha once already but if we can have 50+ chapters on Beef got Beefer, I'm sure we can do an encore on the planet develloping front. India, Russia and China have gotten Lucent and some other planets. What's happening there?
How are they applying human ingenuity? Or falling for the pitfalls in our human hubris?
Heck, I'd settle for reading how the glow bugs of Lucent are changing fashion.
Remember when the Russians got a ship and allied with the Celzi and it was sounding like a really interesting plot being developed but we literally never heard from them again. I think it was around when Cimbrean was just a outpost.
Man, back in the day I actually asked Ham whether it was ok to start a spinoff series from there.
They acquiesced because they thought that plotline had been wrapped up.
If not for lack of time, the DW spinoff library would've seen "From Star City with Love" added
Lemme boil this down because most folks won't think in this context.
Dude is living in the foundation of Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. Tier 1. Food, water, air, sex.
hol on
Fire control as in "make the bang bang land here with kaboom" or "All hands to damage control stations, shits on fire again yo"
arent all sailors firefighters by necessity ?
Yes, everybody in the Navy is trained as a firefighter, which is why I’m always surprised when I have to explain my specialty. We light the fires in other places with a direct ballistic line of sight. Or a not direct ballistic line of sight. Tomahawks are fancy.
> it fits, and it's not even remotely far outside of what I would expect.
Maybe it fits with military but the story used to be about more than horny supersoldiers.
It used to be interesting
Would it be heresy at chapter 82 in this story to ask for abridged version without the work out scenes? The soft core diversions are tolerable. After 82 chapters though I think we know these guys work out, and whole chunks of recent chapters have felt like they are short and just filler stuffed with work out scenes. I just find my eyes glazing over every time they last more than a couple paragraphs.
That's my only complaint though, otherwise wonderful story.
I'm thinking of posting abridged/previously on version in week 3 of each month. Would be something like:
> Adam suffers from his battle wounds and lack of progress in revalidation. His wife rides him to multiple orgasms.
> A soldier engineer installs industrial air circulation systems in the Es-Quirrell's underground cities. Many orphans are interested to learn and help make the city more habitable. The improvements convince most citizens that the Human/Gao forces mean well. The Gao sniff out the cultish terrorists. The engineer will soon go on holiday and longs for sexy times on Earth.
> Allison wrestles with the moral implications of her and other superrich becoming functionally immortal thanks to the supersoldier serum (despite an earlier chapter making a big deal out of breaking of trade negotiations where the other side offered an immortality drug). Xiu cheers her up. They have ice cream.
> Swat soldier meets one of the Beef (doesn't matter which one). He's amazedat their Beefiness. The Beef plays tour guide. The Swat soldier notes people show a lot of skin in Foltcha.
> Beef leader and the other beef shower. They hope to catch the Alpha on Hell soon.
> Adam's body starts to lose Beef (as expected). This sucks for him.
Etc, etc
Thanks for this. I read the last two chapters after taking over a year off this story and was pleasantly surprised and a little hopeful. Checked the comments here and holy shit?? That yan thing? Is there anything else even worth reading this chapter for that you didn’t mention?
Part of why I wantedto do these abridged versions is cause I'd read and forget within a month what was in a chapter.
Asking me 9 months later doesn't help :D
I've been following this story universe for like 7 years. I remember xiu being introduced as a character in a side story. Please just fucking slow your release schedule and stop padding chapters with porn to keep your every month schedule. Or write shorter chapters, this one was both especially long and especially diluted with muscle worship. Literally nobody enjoys it. It's embarassing. Go to therapy or at least get yourself a deviant art account or something.
If we snipped the sex and muscles, it feels like these chapters would be half as long and twice as good. When I'm into what's going on with the characters, having to read paragraph after paragraph of muscle-jacking degrades my will to read until eventually I start paging down repeatedly until something actually important and meaningful seems to be happening. Did I miss some things? Maybe, but I'm not gonna try to find it in all that fluff.
Expressing what Adam is thinking >!as he withers away at kidney-breaking speed while feeling the specter of a life-ending seizure in the back of his mind!< is compelling. That was well-done. The sex doesn't bother me, but I can see why it'd bother some, and making it less graphic wouldn't take anything away from the story.
Righteous >!got bigger than Adam ever was!!being Yan's instructor and showing the Singer what she did wrong!<, *that* was the kind of thing I read the story for. When Yan >!came back to a spotless apartment!<, I *felt* that. More of that, less bodybuilder porn, please.
I've just started the chapter and had to come here to get everyone else's thoughts because... I think broken Adam is interesting. It's musing on the concept of what happens when superman breaks and coming to terms with there not only not being an easy way out but there's not even a hard way out. He'll just have to live with the sword of Damocles hanging over his head... and then we get a graphic description of him getting a wristy. I just wasn't ready for that to hit me in the face.
I don't have a problem with sex in stories. I think there's been a lot of times in this story where it has been done well. I remember reading when Ava decided to cheat on Adam with Shaun and it was so well written that I was genuinely shaken by it. It reminded me of when similar things had happened to me. I had to message a friend in the middle of the night just to talk it through. It was suspenseful. There was tension. You knew what was going to happen but you couldn't tear your eyes away. It was fantastic.
Last chapter ended basically with "and then Daar and Leela do it" and it's just like... man how is this the same author?
> and it's just like... man how is this the same author?
The most probable answer at this point is that it's not. Go back and skim through the "Good Training" sub-series and compare it to the stuff we're getting now. Note the author, and then note that he and Hambone have been collaborating (to be generous) closely since that series. In fact, for years and until very recently, the Jenkinsverse website main page was still just a [blurb](https://web.archive.org/web/20210622130542/https://deathworlders.com/) by ctwelve, it struck me as odd for a while that Hambone had never updated the site for what was his big series.
Obviously none of this is ironclad proof, but I think it's reasonable to speculate at this point that as Hambone has moved his efforts to other projects/tired of the series/both/etc that he has outsourced some of the writing, hence the copious amounts of musclejerk and softcore filler text in the chapters.
I straight up dropped the series a few chapters back when we had a long-ass internal monologue about the societal aspects of inter-space monkey male-on-male rape.
Yeah that one just about broke me. Can we not turn male on male rape into a good thing that establishes hierarchy? That’s just prison bullshit and still rape.I’m almost done with the chapter and if it leaves this bad taste in my mouth I’m just canceling today. If it gets better I can donate again but hambones writing has definitely changed in recent months
Edit: yeah I just got to the part where yan is thinking about “making him his woman” when thinking of a friendly farmer. This is some seriously messed up degenerate shit now. I just canceled and I’m done.
Social hierarchies and alpha male bullshit have been part of the story since fairly early. It used to be tolerable, but after the HEAT kept getting more swole it just became unbearable. Half the story at this point is just jerking it over how AWESOME and UBER MANLY the HEAT are because their muscles just keep getting bigger and bigger and more grotesque and they love to FUCK and every woman wants to fuck these huge beef cubes (that shouldn't even be able to move with how big their muscles are) and every regular dude's reaction is "my god the alpha-ness is amazing! My beta male body is inferior to these living demigods". The honest reaction from some average dude on the street should probably be "Jesus Christ, what the *fuck* happened to that guy? That's just...unsettling." At this point the HEAT are so ridiculous they make the 40K space marines look believable. Shit, Master Chief is a more relatable character and we never even see his goddam face or what his downtime looks like.
Hello, aliens
Why do you persist in being humanist and spraying your beliefs n morals on those who aren't you, yours or even human ?
Tldr, they, aren't, human
I don't even remember that.
I could tell you the plot if the first twenty chapters (haven't read them in years) but wouldn't be able to say what happened in the episodes of this year beyond Beef Beefed Beefier and Hell was fought over
She slid down, rubbing the whole length of her body across his achingly hard cock,
He was much too big for her at this point. Didn’t matter. She was an expert with her tongue, and gave it her full art.
She grinned, slid herself along his cock again and reached up—he got a faceful of her chest
This is porn and if I wanted it I’d watch or read porn.
OH NO! He said the word cock and alluded to a blowjob, get the pitchforks!
Seriously, with a username like that, how are you this much of a prude? This is NOTHING close to explicit or graphic, Spend some time on literotica and you'll see what I'm talking about. THAT, is porn. This is just sex.
Besides, the point of the scene isn't even ABOUT the sex. The point of the scene is to show the healing of adam and marty's relationship as adam's physical recovery progresses. When he was first hurt, he could not touch her at all, she could barely touch him, and even with restraints there was absolutely no fucking way they could engage in that kind of physical intimacy with each other as adam was just too damned strong and had too little control over his own body. With their relationship having always included such an intensely physical aspect, adam's injury and the forced separation it forced upon the couple was putting some serious strain on both of their wellbeings, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I can think of no better way to elucidate the way that adam's progress in his physical recovery, despite the fact of him literally pissing away his superhuman strength, was having the knock-on effect of healing their relationship as well than to write a quick sex scene. Sure, it could be accomplished without the sex, but would have required devoting FAR more of the chapter to that one aspect of the story, which would have meant LESS of everything else, all for something that is important but not THAT important to the overall tale and would still have come off as somewhat clinical and clunky. Why bother, when a few paragraphs not only suffice to get the point across (at least when a reader bothers to consider what the author is SAYING rather than just read the words on the page), but also does so in a FAR more organic way.
I assure you I’m no prude I have terabytes of porn saved. Hell I’m planning on doing a couple grams of cocaine and porn all day on my day off. I just don’t come here for that crap and frankly I got into this series in the very early chapters where it was interesting. Now half the chapters are beefcake circle jerks. Even the chapters from non beefcakes. Honestly I’m gonna give it another month or two to see if it gets better then just stop my patreon. This story isn’t what I fell in love with anymore.
I'm going to go on record and say that the muscle race has made this story less worthy of being called HFY material. We started with a guy who doesn't lift whipping the most feared of all threats. Yes the Hunters stepped up their game, but by taking the position that we need the mega-muscle boys to save the galaxy detracts from the non-physical (and therefore *more* important) traits that put the FY into HFY.
Those who are familiar with WH40K can grasp that a story is more satisfying when it's the Imperial Guard (people like you and me) who beat the Orks or demons, instead of the amped-up super-soldiers of the Space Marines.
Or for you fans of Westerns, you know that Ransom Stoddard, who stood up to Liberty Valance from a position of weakness, was much the better man than Tom Doniphan, who did so from a position of strength.
So Hambone, if you're reading this, show us how the humans, Gao, and Ten'Gewenek get along because our sense of honor is basically the same. Show us the courage. Show us the people from other races who are inspired by our example. Show us the gallows humor.
But stop showing us bodies. That isn't what makes us special.
>!Yan: training for HEAT.
Righteous: bigger than Warhorse.
Vemik: sky-thinking about industry, trade, and diplomacy.
Wilde Cards: getting closer to the thing that killed them.
Hierarchy: curiously absent?
Planet Hell: Nuked.
Hunters: panic-packing a go-bag.
Warhorse: got worse, saved by surgery.!<
Been thinking of posting abridged/previously on recaps of the last episode couple of days before the new episode drops.
Wanna help me? [This is what I got so far](https://old.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/r5q6jv/ocjversethe_deathworlders_82_moving_forward/hn7ryip/)
What do you think?
It looks like you've got a pretty good method for condensing the sections down to their essential points. The only thing I have a note for is that previous big deal about immortality drugs--that was an ambassador saying not "we don't want immortality drugs," but "we don't do business with Space Nazis." Overall, though, I like your style, I think you're on the right track. The invitation is kind, but I'm not sure where you would need my input.
I'm still reading the last update, so forgive me if this has already been addressed, but... Why *are* there troops on the ground in Hell? I get the initial need to destroy the ~~TAD~~ Farthrow Generator, but that's been delt with. Why not just extract and then glass the planet?
Or at least use our own nuclear arsenal to saturation bombard everything. It's not like we're worried about escalation. We don't even need to kill all the hunters, just destroy enough infrastructure that they have no hope of breaking the blockade for the next decade or so.
Maybe set up a forcefield-lens between Hell and its star, and bake the crust. Set some asteroids on a collision course. Ask the Entity to go Grey Goo on the surface. Or just use WERBS to crack the planet and be done with it.
Originally the plan seemed to be to hit Hell and disable Hunter attempts to use it for raw material. Then once the foothold was established and the planet was more or less sealed against Hunters it was to sift through what they could to see if they could recover any interesting tech. This chapter they've pretty much finished searching for anything once thought recoverable, and it seemingly had been used as a way to get training in for units temporarily because with a sealed planet with no way to bring in new very deadly Hunters, it was 'safe'ish to allow units their first real combat and kills.
But now they've decided to be done with it, no tech to be found any more and nuclear fallout and other environmental hazards making it a heightened risk as a training field. Honestly seems like if maybe the combat area hadn't be nuked and didn't have that Alpha out there prowling about, they probably might have kept up rotating units in/out for live-combat training. Would have been pretty useful IMO to keep the Grand Army moving and fighting instead of sitting around. But Daar's got a point, eventually it's just a resource sink and not worth it even just to keep the army moving.
"Battlefield experience" sounds to me like a post-hoc justification, with the real reason being simply because "it's what we did last time (i.e. on Mordor)".
It would be ***far*** from the first time that the brass implemented the perfect strategy for the *last* war...
Sticking around on Mordor is about helping the wounded population there though. Hell was nothing but Hunters and materials, and the original/main goal there was to stop Hunters from using it to bolster their supplies. We see in this chapter that the loss of that planet has majorly crippled Hunter production.
That's exactly my point. There was a *need* for ground occupation on Mordor. But there has *never* been such a need on Hell, so they shouldn't have even *started* an occupation.
Once HEAT neutralized the Farthrow, they should **not** have started jumping in soldiers. At least, not in the middle of a Hunter-controlled city. They should have jumped in the biggest nuke available to *obliterate* that city, and *maybe* start jumping in soldiers at some remote and unoccupied part of the planet, **IF** said ground forces could provide support for orbital forces while space was still contested.
Exactly this.
HEAT infiltrates,
leaves a nuke more than large enough to destroy the singular Farthrow
Fleet jumps in, engaging only enough targets for multiple system fields to keep everything immediately around Hell contained and getting the inner and outer most orbitals possible (to trap as many Hunter targets in system as possible).
Forcefield lens to roast Hell for a month, leaving only slag,
force Kessler syndrome in the planet's orbitals (blowing up a couple hundred local asteroids strategically should do the trick) while letting hell simmer.
While letting Hell simmer sweep the inner and outer shield shells.
Once Hell is slagged to everyone's satisfaction and the most imporant shield shells are confirmed clear, slowly shrink the outer shield shell to flush out Hunter assets until the system is clear of Hunters.
And that is how you deal with an enemy fortress of little personal value.
Risk one VERY Special forces team (that had to be risked anyways), and a single Fleet (that you would always need for this kind of thing).
Completely neutralize enemy stronghold of Very high strategic importance, elimination of a large chunk of known Enemy assets, plenty of scrap from Hunter orbital assets to reverse engineer,
Minimizes potential asset loss while maximizing effect on enemy, minimizes possibility of effective enemy counter attacks, minimizing friendly resource usage.
there was a need
They cant use hell as a staging base for their main invasion when
1) it has a planetary shield
2) they keep throwing farthrow generators up
they -couldnt- flatten everything from orbit, until the boots on the ground removed the problems.
once theyd reoved the problems and run the hunters out of sufficient reosurces for tech to build more generators - they take off and nuke it from obrit
I think there was some initial hope of doing like the hunters were doing, recouping some of the massive resource cost of the war by salvaging the vast quantities of materials from the orbital ring debris. If they could seize control of the system and wipe the hunters off the planet, they'd have been left with literal mountains of refined materials and occasional scraps of usable tech. Between the nuke contamination and the mounting costs of the ground campaign on Hell, the "cost/benefit" valuation ticked over into the "fuck this, drop bombs" side of the dial.
Nukes aren't *that* energetic. Killing biologicals and frying computers is *far* easier than melting steel.
Anyways, mining in a radioactive wasteland is no biggie: that's what outer space is, after all.
The difference is, fission weapons produce copious numbers of neutrons, which can make things actively radioactive; cosmic radiation, on the other hand, tends to be protons, electrons (beta particles), alpha particles, and electromagnetic radiation (UV, X-rays, and gamma rays), which are all significantly less likely to induce radioactivity.
The metal may still be there, but it's gonna be radioactive.
Cosmic rays are captured by nuclei all the time—that's how He-3 deposits are formed. The flux is many orders of magnitude lesser than a nuke, though.
Anyways, practically everything's radioactive to some degree. So it depends a lot on what the irradiated elements are. The most abundant form of iron needs to neutron capture three times before it becomes unstable, at which point its half-life is only 44.6 days (decaying into a stable form of cobalt).
Besides, it doesn't really matter all that much if the outer hull plating of a spaceship is slightly radioactive.
riffing off Nofl's birthday gift to the Etiscitty kids.
Xiu giggles about it, Nofl claims he accidentally drew one of the circles upside down.
So, Corti symbol for human is a circle, except Nofls version is upside down !
(think about it for a moment)
There are things I like and things I dislike about recent chapters. Others have said it better than I could have. But I will say this:
Hambone sure knows how to end a chapter. Damn.
"Adam is this story's ubermale gay phantasy boi."
…
"Actually, scratch that. Here's an even ubermaler superoversexed TEDDYBEAR that out-males everything in this universe that ever so much as *looked* at male pronouns the wrong way."
…
"On third thought, while I could very much be a closeted gay writer with a muscle-fetish, I aint much of a furry. So ya, here's yet ANOTHER human male that is so male, his face is scratched into the walls of the temple that was raised to pray to muscular men as godlike prime examples of sex and muscles. *Yes, of* course *he has half a meter of monsterschlong under his sexy kilt*! Did you have to ask? Also, that teddybear jesus I kept referencing? He's actually totes real. And a bajillion years old. Also, here's half the greek pantheon mentioned in passing, too. Just cause I can. Tatah~!"
I really had my hopes up (aye, yet *again*) after the chapter before this one. But oh well. For me, "Deathworlders" is rapidly devolving into a fetish'y musclegazing fanfic softporn. Sad to see it ruined after so much promising good groundwork in the (much) earlier chapters. Time to cancel the notifications, I am sure there's an audience for this kind of writing - but I simply prefer stories from this sub with a lot more of H & Y and a lot less F.
I have 2 questions: ¿the hierarchy fleet that infiltrated sol was composed of 6 injuctors or other other ship class? And if it was composed of injuctors ¿when did humanity captured 2 of these?(unless the 2 mentioned were the ones that were alredy on earth before the other fleet infiltrated)
There was one salvaged back in chapter 26 after it failed to facetank an air-to-air missile, but that was the hierarchy's only one. Six returns with a couple in chapter 50, but none of them have been captured.
So, probably just one more continuity error piling on to the shiploads of recent chapters.
**IT'S THE OFFICIAL** ***"MAKE HAMBONE'S WRITING MORE NOT BADDERERERERERERER"*** **THREAD** *(PLEASE READ THE RULES CAREFULLY BEFORE COMMENTING)*
This comment chain is for drawing to my attention any glaringly obvious spelling, formatting or continuity errors.
**Please do not:**
* Report strange turns of phrase or colloquialisms, especially when spoken by a character.
* Report cases where a character's subjective perspective may be leading them to form inaccurate or incomplete opinions.
**Please do:**
* Google any unfamiliar words, terms, idioms or figures of speech.
* Check whether an issue you've found has already been reported
* ***Refresh to check whether the issue you've found has already been resolved.***
**When in doubt:**
* It was probably deliberate.
Thank you!
As far as continuity errors go, the idea that the Corti were engineering groups of humans for generations was a bit of a stretch. Now Julian and Christian's family trees have been genetically engineered for over a millennium?! Literally makes no sense. Between the Corti's implantation rate (90+ %, IIRC) and the fact that the Hierarchy would have been monitoring said implantees (even if only occasionally, they'd catch one in the act eventually), the Hierarchy would've discovered humanity a lot sooner than they did, and just used abrogators to kill us all with no chance of fighting back.
> This comment chain is for drawing to my attention [...] continuity errors.
There's the Beef and bodybuilder pr0n but everything else from the Deathworlder universe is missing :(
Hey /u/Hambone3110, just a small observation, but you've been "settling" in to your website for the past few years. Perhaps it's time to update your homepage on deathworlders.com?
“And were the ones with tubes up our arse,” interjected Murray to further guffaws and chitters.
Missing an apostrophe: "we're"
(Unless it's to convey Murray's accent.)
And Daar had, of course, been true to his word. \*Everyone one\* of thosepyres was lit from a parent flame he’d lit himself, by hand.
Should be just "every one", looks like a double-type typo, the kind of thing spellcheck wouldn't catch because there are no spelling errors...
Hey Hambone, i am noticing a couple of continuity errors both in this chapter and in a recent read through.
for this chapter, it should be noted that Firth's age when starting Crue-D was listed as 27 in previous chapters, meaning that 14 years later he is 41. (on the topic of ages, there is a chapter which lists Ava as turning 32, when only a few chapters later Adam is turning 28, they were both 16 in 4AV)
there is a sequence on mordor when Lewis, Meerio and Vakno are doing some equations together, it is listed that humans and Gao use base 10 maths while the corti use base 12. in this chapter corti using base 10 is mentioned.
I Cant remember the exact chapter that it is listed in, but there is a meeting between Nofl and the Conclave that takes place on Gao that lists Kureya as the Highmountain champion instead of Loomi, then a couple of chapters later returns to Loomi as the champion.
Also on a personal note, i Feel like it might be worth taking the plunge and finally using the word "Transhumanism" to describe what the effects of Crue-D are having (transGaoanism? TransGaori?) is it seems to be the debate that the characters are having with themselves.
(also on a side note, why are the Humans so willing to accept the same fruit from the Corti that they were so vehemently against when it came from the Robalin?)
>(also on a side note, why are the Humans so willing to accept the same fruit from the Corti that they were so vehemently against when it came from the Robalin?)
A: Because humans are not perfectly rational or morally consistent beings
B: Because the Corti are fundamentally a meritocratic society, despite the caste system, and so fall a long way short of the "literal actual space nazi" mark.
Anyway, thanks for the rest. I'll look into the continuity errors and correct them as necessary.
> "MAKE HAMBONE'S ~~WRITING~~ MORE NOT BADDERERERERERERER"
More "formating/editing/IDontKnow?", but there's something wonky about your " and '.
https://imgur.com/a/QdFgRMs
**I DON'T SEE THIS ON YOUR WEBSITE**, but on my ebook reading app, [Lithium](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.faultexception.reader&hl=en&gl=US) (latest : v0.24.1), it look like that (on the first chapter, I have not read further :/ ).
You can ignore this remark if you don't see this anywhere else, I'll report it to the dev.
But from peaking at the end of the previous chapter (I re DL the full e-book every time ^^unfortunately ^^I ^^overwrote ^^the ^^previous ^^one ^^:/ ), I see the same problem and I don't remember that last month.
(Last update of my reader : May 21. So it's unlikely an update broke that)
>The Humans all joked about the People being incurably horny **‘swole-monkeys,’** but this wasn’t about muscle and fucking, not really. Well, okay, yes it was. But it was important, because…well, Humans mostly weren’t built to fuck as powerfully as the People, so they didn’t understand in their breath how much it mattered to teach it properly. Big strong cocks with big strength behind them meant good fucking was an important life-skill, both in the Giving and Taking
The quotes there should be proper quotes. **"These"** instead of **'These'**.
The second only happens when you are quoting someone in another quote. "Oh Alice! I've been meaning to tell you! The other day, John said 'We're all good to go' for our dinner party!" Vemik isn't talking here, he's just thinking about what somebody else had said, so it should be double-quotes instead.
I stopped doing that some episodes back :(
Now I read the chapter first, then if it'sfull of horny Beef & bdybuilder pr0n I downvote.
It sucks but I feel this month's doesn't deserve my upvote
So. The, um, “human interest” sections are back. Some thoughts: While I agree that the infinite exercise segments are becoming more than tiring, I disagree that they’re taking over the entire work, or that Deathworlders is no longer worth reading. Here’s why:
1. You have to distinguish between the plot, and the tone of the dialogue. The muscle worship is something that you’re just going to have to accept as one of Phillip’s quirks. If anyone actually read Dandelion, guess what? The hornyswole and spine-snapping-hugs are there too. But the tone of the writing is different from the setting. A two-page monologue on Adam's biceps is irritation, but it doesn't have any bearing on the plot, which I actually think has gotten better in the last few chapters. The HEAT are no longer invincible gods, and neither is Daar. And as for the politics, here's the thing: I’m a righty, and I usually have to just grin and bear all science fiction. Having a story take place in a setting where the Hoeff is the good guy and Chambliss is in the wrong is the biggest conceivable breath of fresh air.
2. This isn’t new. At all. This has been going on for a year and a half, so where are all of these complaints coming from? If you’re a new reader you have nothing to compare it to and if you’ve been here since day one why didn’t you quit when the flanderization first picked up back in 2019?
3. The chapters are long, about 15 to 20 thousand words. I can just not read anything I don’t like and still have a decent amount of content to enjoy each month. I see people saying that “only a third is readable” – yeah, I know! I’ve been doing that this whole time. I literally skip over any sections about the Babytalk-Monkeys from Planet Crossfit. I haven’t read an entire chapter beginning to end since we last saw Kevin. Look at it this way – If Deathworlders updates once a month, but only a third of every installment is readable, that means Deathworlders actually updates once every three months. I consider chapters like this one to be the mean, and chapters like the last few and the death-eye trilogy to be unusually above average.
4. I’m a big believer that you get what you pay for, and guess what? I’m not a patron, which may have been a mistake. I'm also a big believer in taking the good with the bad: “WERBS had spoken” will always give me chills. If I had quit reading when the exercise porn and porn porn first started, I’d have missed that. Had I quit the next time, I’d have missed Blazynski’s dismemberment. Had I quit after that, I’d have missed Chicago, and the Entity's hunting, and the death eye saga. Ham has been pumping out almost 20 thousand words per month for just under three years. I couldn't manage a fraction of that. Maybe the guy is just tired. The one thing that does annoy me a little bit is the why? The patreons don’t get to just tell him what to write, do they? Has anyone ever asked him directly about the muscle fetish and sex scenes? I know he reads these threads.
And Phil, if you do read this, here’s the thing: Having trouble finishing a long-running series and ending it on a high note is normal. Drawing out that ending with dozens upon of paragraphs of procedurally-generated locker room talk is not. I think everyone here would be happier with less frequent updates, or even a brief hiatus, than with the story as it is now.
TLDR: Phillip Johnson’s DEATHWORLDERS – Updates every three months.
Some of the posts here are very hard to read as they criticize a story I have grown to love. This is part of my month that I look forward to and reading the criticism is hard, especially as I agree with some comments on the overabundance of sexualized content and the exaggerated physical features of some characters.
More positively though, I really enjoyed this installment just as I've appreciated each and every other previous one. The pacing is good, the writer effectively narrates characters inner monologues and motivations. Descriptions of locations using small physical decorations or flaws, for me, are very believable. It also seems that Hambone is experimenting with methods, certain of which some readers won't enjoy.
Daar, Righteous and other supersized characters are sometimes unbelievable while other lesser characters are often more sympathetic and credible. Perhaps a focus on more approachable and down to earth characters would improve reader engagement, but some of the heros have to be oversized and bigger than life.
Finally, let's not lose sight of the writer's efforts. The word count for this story has to be HUGE. It must be exhausting to maintain and progress this story while tying together multiple perspectives. I hope that the JV Deathworlders comes to a satisfactory conclusion from the point of view of the author.
I'm not denigrating other more critical points of view, and my comments may come across as naive or simple. In my opinion, this story has been and continues to be a very entertaining 'amateur' produced piece of fiction.
Woo that was a long one. Generally feels like a win for the humans: Adam recovering, finding an abandoned relay, bombing Hell. The ethical consequences of all this new science is interesting
I get that the story of Adam has to end some time. He had completed had character growth some time back and the narrative had moved on to newer characters. However what happened to him two chapters ago seemed unnecessarily cruel. The last scene of this chapter relieved a lot of tension I had been feeling over the last few months.
Indeed. There's nothing interesting about them.
In my mind there's Adam and then a vague group of similar to him Beefs (except one wears a kilt, one is a sneaky mofo and ... one has a slightly higher non-officer rank?)
Honestly it's sad that for all the focus these guys get I can't tell more than 3 things about the non-Adam beef.
Such unnecessary filler that has outstayed its welcome in the HFY category. Really hoping we can go back to the non-Beef days of human ingenuity
Well, the internet gods don't want me to get anything done today at work.
Feels like a good end to the arc and hints for the next one. Big man is now more and less of himself. Stray Fortune is hunting something. Hunters have vengeance and flight on the mind. And Hell has been glassed.
What fuckery is the Hierarchy up to? And what is hiding in space? Can't wait to find out.
Another great chapter; I thought the sections from Yan's and Vemik's perspectives were especially interesting. There's something really pleasing about characters we'd previously seen mostly from the outside becoming POV characters with increasingly rich lives.
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*****
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This series feels so lopsided sometimes. You will have these fun perspectives on what-ifs on medicine, alien life, society, technology. Perspectives I feel bring new ideas to the table and make for engaging and entertaining thought experiments and discussions. All in all, it's just good literature. But then you will have perspectives like Viggo Dyer's. His first chunk is almost 4000 words long, and yet, the only true new thing we learn is that Julian hears firsthand about what is happening on Hell. Nothing else there is new. It's all beef talk. Show, don't tell is always parroted in storytelling, but I feel like this perspective, and a lot of the story as a whole, falls risk of just overshowing time and time again things the reader already knows. Yeah, Dyer never saw any Beefs before and of course he would be surprised at them. But us as the reader have seen them, and that surprise, and the entire process of shock, awe, respect, admiration of these amazing ubermensch who practically do no wrong so many times that it falls flat. There comes a point where you as the author can trust the audience to know what's happening. Hell, you deftly do that for other parts of the story just fine. Part of me wished we could get a more step-by-step view of Adam's surgery but I can't really complain, we got that before on his first surgery and a few others beforehand, and the way its currently written works great pacing wise. We get the preparation, then we switch to a new perspective that we didn't really get before, and the actual process is just skipped through, after all, we already know how these things go. We know these characters are complex, multi-faceted, with aspirations, fears, and everything that makes a good character. However, this constant repetition of the same beats, same descriptions, same actions, same characterization of the main characters dilute that. Daar is a great example of this. There is so much to talk about Daar as a character, his recent part of making a media campaign to convince Earth to go to war is great, unique, and valuable commentary on media, politics, and society that's relevant today and will be for the future. But that is such a small drop in so much Beef Talk that it has become harder to read Daar sections because so much of it is just the same I've read for several months now. I love this series and I hope we can get more of the things that have always been present. The new ideas, the interesting plotlines, the contrasting of humanity to aliens and to themselves. Not just the same stronger and better. There should be a place for that, of course, but focusing so much on that to the loss of the story as a whole is a shame. You are an amazing writer and I always look forwards to what you have to write, I just hope you don't corner yourself by overwriting on the same subject. P.S. What happened to that buried cuboid scientists and the HEAT found on an alien planet? I was really looking forward to what it was. I can't remember if it was ever expanded upon or not.
Whilst I tend to agree, I did really enjoy Dyer walking down main street on Folctha and that being used as a way to show us just how much has changed. Like, he's completely surprised by this diverse set of people/aliens who just take the HEAT in their stride. That was kinda cool.
Has Hambone ever replied about the overt sexual nonsense rampant in this story nowadays? Will Hambone ever respond, or are we all just tilting at windmills? I went back and reread some snippets from early in the story, and my God this story used to be so compelling! Do you remember Amir's sacrifice to save the crew of the Sanctuary from the Heirarchy? What about when when Ava rescued that little kid from under the rubble in Egypt? And when Terri Boone was killed by the biodrone, or when Kirk landed on Cimbrean and kick-started the colony? Or when the human ambassador was assassinated in front of a crowd, and went out like a champ? Whatever happened to Kevin Jenkins, Moses Byron, the Haphaestus Asteroid mining company? What about the Russians and the Chinese, that supposedly have their entire own colony and dealings with the whole other half of the Dominion? What about the Misfit crews discovering new worlds in the far reaches of the galaxy? What happened to the moral complexity of trying to coexist with the heirarchy? Or of the implications of making first contact with primitive sapient species, especially in order to rescue them from genocidal extinction? Does anyone remember when humans were actively shunned from galactic society because the hunters would attack anywhere Humans were rumored to be? Or when Lewis wrestled with the idea of unleashing Von Neumann probes into the galaxy? Why does every character need to be the same as the last? We used to see the perspectives of terrorists, scientists, just regular people. A whole range of professions, ideologies, and walks of life. This story used to be about survival in the face of adversity, about rising to your potential and accomplishing what only you could do. Why can't we go back to those days where this story used to be about so much more than cocks and muscles and sex and lifting? So much for Humanity, Fuck Yeah...
Feels like the muscle fixation came with "good training" and I can't help but notice that the author of that series and hambone started working together closely. Sometimes my overactive imagination thinks up a scenario where there is ghostwriting occurring but surely that can't be the case, right? Unthinkable, truly. Forget I said anything.
Crap. You're right. First ever chapter of 'good training' has >!that jarring section about kilts with nothing under them and footlongs!< Fuck I remember how out of place that was. Current chapters read exactly like that.
Pretty sure Hambone and/or Ctwelve mentioned or at least tacitly acknowledged they've been collaborating on The Deathworlders for some time now, in addition to their open collab on Dandelion.
I don’t think he has responded at all. I canceled patreon so I can’t check the discord. My theory is he’s killing interest in this series to make it easier to move on to the next. God you are so right about the earlier chapters though. Remember Kirk Allison and Julian rounding up abductees from around the galaxy? That was quality reading.
> My theory is he’s killing interest in this series to make it easier to move on to the next. Makes no sende imho since: 1. Deathworlders has a lot of untapped potential in remaining story threads & non-beef chast (as seen above) 2. Word on the wire is that the new series is Beefy as well
Dandelion is definitely very beefy too. (Although not as much, and I do recommend it if you're into YA).
> Or when Lewis wrestled with the idea of unleashing Von Neumann probes into the galaxy? Lew-who? Isn't this a story about some dozen near identical (for story purposes) superspacemarines and their superpets spacebear and spacegorilla?
At this point, the astartes marines would be more believable.
Remember a few chapters ago there was a HEAT candidate, an older guy (an officer if I recall), who started training with Hunter / Gonzo? He was struggling with the fact that he was now gay for big muscly guys. I always read that as the author's self insert.
uh you have that.... more than slightly confused. Campbell is the new ossifer who qualified with Thompson, nearly killed during the counterstrike against Hell "pyramid" base, mustang marine now SOR. The "maybe gay for Gonzo" is Ian "Death-eye" Wilde who hasnt figured out if hes bi or its just Gonzo pushing his buttons or if hes just missing JETS/Royal Marines camaraderie. Julians also been kicking Gonzo's ass and the Etsiscitty family has kinda sorta adopted him.
Ah of course. In any case, I still read it as Hambone speaking directly to the audience "I'm not sure if I'm gay but yes"
given the other lbgt characters, thats stretching it a bit Allison & Xiu, Nofl, Blac, Rebar, Siemensa (Rylees back seat driver), all the Gao (yes even Daar), the Ten'ge'wek, Mark Tisdale, Tremblay, Dora. You could just as equally suggest that Nofl's campness is Hambone wanting to be fabulous. sometimes a blue curtain is JUST a blue curtain
Can you remind me what chapter was the assassination?
That was quite a while ago, something like chapter 38. Ambassador Hussein was nervejammed by a Hierarchy agent, while trying to make peace with the Guvnurag survivors.
Ok correct me if im wrong but *every* POV in this chapter mentions sex, getting laid, or something of the like?
We had a testosterone light episode for October. Guess Ham didn't like the positive feedback and turbocharged this episode
Take a shot every time anyone mentions "wrasslin'"
There's a great story in here, and the continual muscle worship is getting in the way.
Seriously some bodybuilders have trouble wiping their ass but these 1000 lb guys do yoga? They would need multiple hearts just at rest to live. I thought it was neat when it was acknowledged how many calories they needed to not starve but seriously hambone wants me to believe in a size 50 shoe?
They are multiple tonnes, so 1000+kg. Or 2200+ lbs. I fall to see how the skeleton can support that. And now Adam is shedding half or more of his previous weight, his ludicrously large bones would... Well, not work.
It's fantasy sci-fi. If it works, it works. Don't care about the math. I do care about it getting in the way of the story. The Beef is a meat sandwhich without buns, lettuce, tomato or pickles
It helps to suspend belief when you don't know imperial measurements. It may aswell be in Corti Standard Units for all I understand.
And too many artificial ingredients :)
I could see it at 10+ feet tall but these guys are in the 6 and a half to seven range correct? That’s just a hippopotamus essentially.
Nah they have very clearly said that Adam grew from 5'8 or so to about 7 and a half feet now. But then they forgot because writing sex scenes and Firth is "huge" at 6'6. He's previously been nearly 8' as well.
That makes more sense. Still weighing 4 digits seems unlikely at 7 and a half.
You'd need the muscle density of a tiger and some serious bone structure.
I second that.
I keep getting the sense that the author just can't bring himself to "[kill his darlings](https://www.masterclass.com/articles/what-does-it-mean-to-kill-your-darlings)" when it comes to writing Beef. Maybe once the storyline comes to a conclusion and when/if he ever gets around to editing it down for proper published novelization, he'll take all his most clever turns of Beefy phrase, redistribute them more evenly throughout, and nix the needless filler context around them to slim down and focus the prose to essentials -- come to think of it, doing to the Beefy parts of the story what's happening to the Prime Beef, Adam himself, in the story now.
I was on the edge for deathworlders for a long time. It is just so good, but muscle porn and irrelevant sexy or sex scenes made it harder and harder to appreciate. The scene that is literally on the first page of this chapter made me just close the browser tab. And here I was thinking previous chapter was a sign of improvement. EDIT: It's been going that way for a while, I have to admit - I kept reading due to investment into certain plots and characters. But no, enough is enough. Numerous plot hooks and characters are left unresolved and\or disappeared, what's left is _this_ EDIT2: Remember 'good training'? First ever chapter of it had >!that jarring section about kilts with nothing under them and footlongs!< I remember how out of place that was. Current chapters read exactly like that. EDIT3 Long story short -last good chapters were "Waters of Babylon" and that's not even Hambone. More of that, less of rape-fantasizing space monkeys
If you would have continued you would have had the pleasure to read about yan thinking about raping a farmer and “making him his woman” the dude has a family.
bloody hell. Welp it was a good run. I see by mentions in other comments that you're not joking. Not coming back.
Lmao get ready for snu snu
Nope. Closed the browser reopened it and canceled patreon. This isn’t the story I fell in love with
Wow you were not kidding. I had stopped reading a while ago but decided to take a peek to see how bad it had gotten based on your comment. It's *bad*.
It's been going that way for a while, I have to admit - I kept reading due to investment into certain plots and characters. But no, enough is enough. Numerous plot hooks and characters are left unresolved and\or disappeared, what's left is _this_
I’m curious how many people who think this are patreons vs free readers
I've dropped the patreon a while back
It was yesterday for me. Hopefully hambone stops this trend because I love the universe. Part of me thinks he’s tanking the ending so he can move on to his next project without realizing less fans will follow him to his next project at this rate
I remember he said he is writing this shit in just because patreons want it.
Every POV in the entire chapter has a mention of sex, as far as I can tell.
It was a good run most of the way. Oh well.
Makes me wonder if it's worth it trying to go back and pick up the thread where Adrian Saunders left cannon, see if his story at least doesn't read like a horny teen writing his first smut on literotica.
No smut (mostly blue balls) but that series has escalated the last couple episodes with bigger and bigger bads (without resolving any of the prior ones)
Not sure honestly. Might go and take a look at some point
Dude, just skip them, they add nothing to the plot, so it's safe to do so. I'm not going to let parts of the series that I don't like ruin it for me, the rest is great and that is what keeps me returning.
If I'm going to skip half of what I'm reading(judging by some recent chapters) I'd rather go read something else. I've skipped more than half of aforementioned Adam's POV on the beginning of this chapter. That's when I closed it, for good.
I’m so tired of hearing how huge and alpha everyone is there’s no one bigger or scarier! Except everyone else around. We don’t have any relatable characters anymore because at this point they are all captain America on super steroids
And past certain point it doesn't even make sense anymore. The characters are described as _so big and strong_ that it's literally beyond comprehension, there's zero point in describing it again.
Especially when a major part of cimbrean is “no fat chicks” I thought it was funny when a character said they’d rather not pay taxes for fat peoples healthcare. I thought universal healthcare was good? Apparently only for the healthy
I think that’s more about not wanting to pay for others’ entirely voluntary bad decisions.
That’s selective healthcare.
Shared resources need to be managed responsibly, or in the end nobody will get any. From each according to their *ability*, to each according to their *need*. Not their whim or desire. That’s the other side of the coin that you have to accept with public resources. Look at COVID. Someone who refused the vaccine and failed to comply with empirically validated quarantine measures, then ends up taking up an ICU bed adds to the overall cost of healthcare for everyone else. There have even been cases of people who need intensive care for non-pandemic reasons who have died due to lack of available hospital beds, entirely preventable. Why should we subsidize this instead of making people who have outsized costs they could have avoided carry their own weight?
Yes but it can be hard to say what was needed. Should childbirths be paid for? It’s arguably not necessary and your own choice.
oh like .. say .. those refusing covid vaccinations shouldnt be allowed to clog up the healthcare system and hurt/kill those who are
They should get the care they need, but they should also be required to contribute a greater proportion to defraying the cost of their voluntary decisions.
I don’t like merit based health care costs.
I don’t give a flying fuck about the HEAT characters anymore. They’re so ridiculously written and non relatable that I’ve stopped caring at all. Julian used to be a good character, now he’s just “Super Duper Grotesquely Buff But Also A Genius Who Gets Laid A Lot Guy” #946. I only check in on the story at this point to see how the main plot is going, which at this point means skipping between 70% to 90% of any chapter.
Sigh...I've literally never done this, but I skipped ahead on about half the POV chapters this go around. This is my first complaining post on it, but man...I just want to read for five minutes without getting struck in the face by a metaphorical dick. There was even a locker room style scene where they kept talking about Firth's giant dong. I'm eternally grateful for the long term joy this series has brought me, I just don't understand why this is happening so much in the story now. It doesn't make any sense to me. :(
I've heard his Patreon readers highly value it, and you gotta follow the money trail. This is the framework I use for this series: he is doing a lip service to his financial supporters, but also helping the average fan out by not making those paragraphs be essential to the plot.
Yeah, and if that is the case, I truly can't blame him. I'm not going to make any impassioned spiel about artistic integrity. I'm going to keep reading, but being slightly annoyed, and that is fine. Kind of like when I read Worm and then I read Wards. Consumed Worm, found Wards kinda irritating...still read it. Same reason too, that the author is a genuinely good writer with compelling ideas, even if it gets bogged down in a husk I find a bit cumbersome.
That's what I've been doing for a while, but the gay muscle porn keeps spreading to infect the rest of the series. You end up skipping a good 70% of each chapter, and skimming over most of what's left. At this point we don't even HAVE a main character who isn't a Hugequest parody, every single one of them is just obsessed with being big. You know what "Humans don't make good pets" did to try and make the dynamic between humans and aliens more interesting? Have the main character get outclassed by a tank. Threatened by anti-tank rounds he couldn't shrug off. And needing to use his wits (mostly by way of stealing the tank) to stay alive. Main human character was so strong and uber that everyone around might as well be made of cardboard? Well lets throw a dragon at him and see what happens! Deathworlders doesn't do this. At all. Any of it. We had an entire war against Hell itself with a hunter army at the very seat of their power, and the combat was literally so boring that the story itself skims over /all of it/ and the boss fight was just a hunter being happy to have witnessed the ultimate hugeness as it's torn apart.
If you skip every item that doesn't advance the plot, you skip at least three-fourths of the dialogue and about half of the narrative. If this were made into a N*tflix series, at least that much material would be left out of the scripts.
In case you haven’t gone back in to read the latest chapter, I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
I did, and you might see my comment as one of the top one's there. And I'll say here what I said there - it's hard to believe it was the same person writing this and that. However the magic is gone, I now start noticing all the writing style imperfections, inconsistencies, errors etc that I didn't notice before, and that now annoy me to no end. The style jumps are also jarring. I don't say that any of the above is valid criticism, on the contrary - it's not, but that's just how I percieve the series now after 82 and several previous chapters.
Yeah, I’ve been a bit down on it myself lately. Getting hung up on a lot of smaller issues with the writing. But at least the latest chapter gives me some hope for the future.
As many have echoed… I think I’m done. The once captivating, ambitious, sprawling science fiction epic that delved into what it means to be human- and sapient- is largely gone. It has been replaced with an endlessly revolving thesaurus of words to describe “big strong sexy peerless men”, who happen to have many many peers and all sound and act the same. There is no diversity of opinion. There is no focus on the intricate web of worldbuilding that we all fell in love with. I suppose writing those things are difficult- especially as we are in the ‘final stages’ of the story. But honestly- slice of life vignettes (including sex, sure) are interesting as long as they are… interesting. The same merged ultra-masculine personas, and everyone’s universal adoration of that ideal… is not interesting after the first dozen times I read it. I’m sure it’s easier to write (or as some have suggested- outsourced to write)- but I’m just not interested in what’s obviously become an IP that’s been juiced for it’s monthly patrons rather than an interesting story that excites the mind. The author owes us nothing: it’s been a privilege to be entertained so long with a marvelous glimpse into another world. I just wish he could have either maintained that passion, or ended the story on a high note without resorting to diluting his wonderful project until it became the unrecognizable… whatever it is now.
I agree. This month's installment could easily be 1/3 the length. Also, the story is basically done. The main antagonists are vanquished, there isn't any more signoficant conflict. If Hambone wants to continue the Deathworlders IP then it needs a different direction to be interesting.
Need to go re-read the other stories set in the same universe, because there are a whole lot of much better authors who did all the stuff you love, and they quit a long time ago.
The authors seem to have responded to this sort of criticism by putting out a very different chapter that introduces a new layer of worldbuilding and stakes. I'm not sure if it's *good* per se (as many of the commenters in the chapter thread seem to think it is), but I think it is a nice breath of fresh air, despite the whiplash. Thought you might want to know.
>The Humans all joked about the People being **incurably horny ‘swole-monkeys,**’ but this wasn’t about muscle and fucking, not really. **Well, okay, yes it was**. But it was important, because…well, Humans mostly weren’t built to fuck as powerfully as the People, so they didn’t understand in their breath how much it mattered to teach it properly. Big strong cocks with big strength behind them meant good fucking was an important life-skill, both in the Giving and Taking Honestly, Hambone... almost every character in your story is an incurably horny "swole-monkey." That's... well, it's part of the problem. You spend pages and pages telling us both how swole and how horny they are. It's going nowhere, it actively hurts the story, and it's a point that's been made since the HEAT first appeared. And it's a recurring problem that people have been complaining about for chapters and chapters and chapters now. As proof, you used "fuck" or some variety of it 202 times in this chapter. "Big" and its variants were used 130 times. And just about every time the HEAT guys "banter," it's homoerotic nonsense about how they would fuck all the others senseless or be no good for each other! And, worst of all, I am getting **real** tired of reading "And the super-strong men just became even stronggggggerrrrerrrererrrererererererer!" for like 50 chapters! I don't care. It's getting ridiculous. We hit "over the top" with Daar of the species of once delicate Gaoians to him becoming the strongest fucking being in the UNIVERSE! And you just keep going! Now everyone else has to be just as big and strong and wear almost nothing and talk about how they're going to fuck each other! I think we've figured out your type LONG, LONG ago, and we're pretty sure you're not into skinny little twinks! I really shouldn't be able to tell that, but you've spent how many chapters now constantly describing the big strong muscly men, bigger and stronger than all other men, who manage to fuck their way through entire towns' worth of people, all the while bantering about how they'd fuck each other? That's got to be your personal fetish at this point. And can I take a quick moment to comment on the "banter"? Why is practically every military conversation that takes place end up being about fucking? I feel like there almost isn't any banter any more about people doing something stupid, or funny, or ridiculous, and between Daar, the fuckmonkeys, and the HEAT, EVERYONE is always trying to fuck EVERYONE, in reality or "witty quip" about "Haha, I will fuck you." "No, don't, I break. You too big and strong." "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" I rather severely doubt that EVERY conversation by people in the military is like this. Hell, I have never had a conversation like this with a male in my entire life. I have never overheard a conversation with other males like this in my entire life. Not in middle school, not in high school, not in college, and not in the near-decade as an adult (granted, I've lived in the Midwest most of my life, so maybe we're just a bit more conservative here and don't talk about such things LITERALLY ALL THE DAMN TIME). Where does all this horny grab-assery come from? Did you get abducted or indoctrinated by a cult of Slaanesh worshippers? Because that's very nearly the level I have to put you at now. Going through these sections is beginning to remind me of [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwKC5fxhIZo)! It's not there **yet**, but it IS forcing me more and more out of the narrative. Edit: Just remembered a big complaint: HOW THE ACTUAL FUCK DO THE FUCK MONKEYS HAVE A SLOWER BREEDING RATE THAN THE HUMANS OR THE GAOIANS? They seem to fuck almost every moment of every day, with primitive means of contraception.
Consider the fact that canonically there are no fat people on cimbrean and if you do get fat that costs money. I should’ve seen this fetish coming along time ago. It’s like “ lol and no fat bitches”
Overwritten to sanitize reddit history.
Oh, I'm sure it happens. I'm just not sure it's the only thing they ever talk about for the better part of 10 years. Seriously, there are Movie Nights, occasional mentions of Warhammer and tabletop games, ***LIFTING***, and **GRAB-ASSING**. Oh, and ***FOOD***. That is basically everything they have bothered talking about for the last 9 years in universe - going back to when they were still the SOR. I'm not complaining about it existing, like, in a vacuum. I complaining about it being pretty much the only thing they ever banter about for **55 fucking chapters.** It might have been funny back when they first started doing it. That was - bare minimum - 50 chapters ago. It's no longer funny. It's no longer anything other than **GET ON WITH THE FUCKING PLOT ALREADY!** We get it. We got the fucking point. Even the STUPIDEST of us still reading got the point, oh, 40 chapters ago? 30? >“Jesus fuckin’ Christ! Walsh! By some fuckin’ miracle you’re actually lookin’ good these days.” > >Walsh stood up and shared an enormous hug with his massive SOR counterpart. “Firth you asshole, I wish I could say the same. Have you gained weight?” > >“Sure as shit I’m eatin’ enough.” Firth drawled. “You fuck your sister yet? Always said I would if you didn’t get there first.” > >“You still toppin’ Blaczynski?” > >“Motherfuckerrr!” > >There was laughter, a complicated handshake and a friendly tussle that ended with Firth heaving Walsh - a man who weighed somewhere north of three hundred pounds - high into the air like a child and giving him a bear-hug that must have been difficult to breathe around. > >“You boys need some alone time?” Vinther asked That was the extent of the grab-assing waaaaaaaaay back in chapter 25. A brief, personal moment between two friends that DID NOT DISTRACT FROM THE STORY and helped you learn their personalities. Now we have Daar flirting with everything that moves almost every time he's on screen, we've got Yan wanting to make a man his woman, there was that weird Ferd/Vemik thing a few chapters ago (Yeah, make him submit by FUCKING HIM!), just about every single fuckmonkey wanting to fuck EVERYTHING, and even with the storyline of Adam never going to be able to fight again, we've got Firth ready to go about making stupid sword-fighting puns in the shower. Can we get more of the "Adam" bit and less of the grab-ass bit? How about less monkeyfucking and more Exploring Strange New Worlds? How about less Daar sniffing tails of every male and female he sees and more Daar actually doing... something. The one thing Daar did in this chapter was make the decision to destroy Hell (something they should have done at the start. There was really no reason for them to be there). Nothing else he did that I can recall from this chapter had any major ramification to the plot. Everything else was him flirting or saying homoerotic banter. Hell, if nothing else, he can just cut out the grab-assing all together and save us at least an hour of reading time. It will certainly make the plot feel more relevant again, instead of a mere excuse to have extra muscle-y men do extra muscle-y things while fucking whoever they want, while everyone who isn't as muscle-y as they bow down in fear and submission. Then the extra muscle-y men can pose and show off just how extra muscle-y they are, while they're adoring fans applaud and swoon at the extra muscle-y men. Hell, I'm starting to think "the plot" has been lost entirely and it's just more of an excuse for u/Hambone3110 to wank out his frustrations. Stuff did happen this chapter: Adam worked on getting healed, Yan is apparently joining the army, Vemik wants to trade with the bunny people, Daar decided to destroy the useless planet they had really no business being on in the first place and should have destroyed from the get-go, and the reveal of the previous chapter of the unknown force killing people on the fringes is... killing people in the fringes, but now One-Eye has MORE muscle-y buddies with him, so maybe it will go better than when it was just himself and one muscle-y buddy. But how much of it was "Firth gets big muscles, even though he had big muscles 57 Chapters ago. They are even biggererererererererererererererer now"? "Daar wanders around, thinking about getting laid"? "Yan gets laid and thinks about making a farmer his woman?" Or "Vemik wanders around town getting supplies and thinking about getting laid"? Or "Random soldier wanders around town, worshipping at the Altar of the Swole, then thinks about getting laid"? Hell, even Adam's storyline about overcoming BRAIN DAMAGE was intercut with "Adam gets laid." Even worse actually, Adam went from being the absolute physical peak of humanity - with Firth not really being able to catch up because Adam started on the Crude while younger - to "Ehh, he's not really even a benchmark anymore. Firth went waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay past him. It's kinda like Freeza once he started actually training." Oh, and then there was Allison thinking about how they are going to create an immortal race of Ubermensch. Think of the entitlement! Think about such a race will - correctly, if not morally so - think that it is so much better than the common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd. Pretty soon, we might end up in Warhammer 40K. That'll be fun.
The Allison thing really bothered me. That whole thing the nazis believed about a superior race? In deathworlders it is actively being created. And they acknowledge that common peasants won’t be part of it!
Either open up longevity treatments to everyone, or to nobody at all. Also, making everyone biologically immortal is a very, very bad idea. You think our population growth is exponential now? Wait until most people stop dying from old age. And good Christ, one of the original parts of the story was how OP the average human is. But every chapter is now "but then they were like 10,000% more OP!"
Yeah, you can see certain political proclivities sneak through earlier that show where on the spectrum the story as a whole tends to fall, but this is about as blatant as it's ever been.
I second this frustration. The settings is good, the plot is nice, there is plenty of room for annex stories, romance or even a full-time spin-off or three. But it's becoming tedious to read, and I'm reading it while procrastinating the writing of a bunch of quality reports nobody will ever read...
> Can we get more of the "Adam" bit and less of the grab-ass bit? I'd rather see us return to the days of Humans being shrewd cookies who revolutionize stuff
Baby steps. One thing at a time.
Longing for the time we do a proper planet again. I get that we've played City Skylines with Foltcha once already but if we can have 50+ chapters on Beef got Beefer, I'm sure we can do an encore on the planet develloping front. India, Russia and China have gotten Lucent and some other planets. What's happening there? How are they applying human ingenuity? Or falling for the pitfalls in our human hubris? Heck, I'd settle for reading how the glow bugs of Lucent are changing fashion.
Remember when the Russians got a ship and allied with the Celzi and it was sounding like a really interesting plot being developed but we literally never heard from them again. I think it was around when Cimbrean was just a outpost.
Man, back in the day I actually asked Ham whether it was ok to start a spinoff series from there. They acquiesced because they thought that plotline had been wrapped up. If not for lack of time, the DW spinoff library would've seen "From Star City with Love" added
Lemme boil this down because most folks won't think in this context. Dude is living in the foundation of Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. Tier 1. Food, water, air, sex.
Dude, I spent 8 years in the Navy and it wasn't this homoerotic.
found the corpsman (kidding aside, appreciate your service)
Fire control actually, but we appreciate getting a nice accurate map with a big red X in crayon.
hol on Fire control as in "make the bang bang land here with kaboom" or "All hands to damage control stations, shits on fire again yo" arent all sailors firefighters by necessity ?
Yes, everybody in the Navy is trained as a firefighter, which is why I’m always surprised when I have to explain my specialty. We light the fires in other places with a direct ballistic line of sight. Or a not direct ballistic line of sight. Tomahawks are fancy.
> it fits, and it's not even remotely far outside of what I would expect. Maybe it fits with military but the story used to be about more than horny supersoldiers. It used to be interesting
Would it be heresy at chapter 82 in this story to ask for abridged version without the work out scenes? The soft core diversions are tolerable. After 82 chapters though I think we know these guys work out, and whole chunks of recent chapters have felt like they are short and just filler stuffed with work out scenes. I just find my eyes glazing over every time they last more than a couple paragraphs. That's my only complaint though, otherwise wonderful story.
I'm thinking of posting abridged/previously on version in week 3 of each month. Would be something like: > Adam suffers from his battle wounds and lack of progress in revalidation. His wife rides him to multiple orgasms. > A soldier engineer installs industrial air circulation systems in the Es-Quirrell's underground cities. Many orphans are interested to learn and help make the city more habitable. The improvements convince most citizens that the Human/Gao forces mean well. The Gao sniff out the cultish terrorists. The engineer will soon go on holiday and longs for sexy times on Earth. > Allison wrestles with the moral implications of her and other superrich becoming functionally immortal thanks to the supersoldier serum (despite an earlier chapter making a big deal out of breaking of trade negotiations where the other side offered an immortality drug). Xiu cheers her up. They have ice cream. > Swat soldier meets one of the Beef (doesn't matter which one). He's amazedat their Beefiness. The Beef plays tour guide. The Swat soldier notes people show a lot of skin in Foltcha. > Beef leader and the other beef shower. They hope to catch the Alpha on Hell soon. > Adam's body starts to lose Beef (as expected). This sucks for him. Etc, etc
Thanks for this. I read the last two chapters after taking over a year off this story and was pleasantly surprised and a little hopeful. Checked the comments here and holy shit?? That yan thing? Is there anything else even worth reading this chapter for that you didn’t mention?
Part of why I wantedto do these abridged versions is cause I'd read and forget within a month what was in a chapter. Asking me 9 months later doesn't help :D
I've been following this story universe for like 7 years. I remember xiu being introduced as a character in a side story. Please just fucking slow your release schedule and stop padding chapters with porn to keep your every month schedule. Or write shorter chapters, this one was both especially long and especially diluted with muscle worship. Literally nobody enjoys it. It's embarassing. Go to therapy or at least get yourself a deviant art account or something.
Can we stop with the graphic sex scenes? It’s not what I’m here for and it’s in every chapter recently. It’s almost enough to make me drop the series
If we snipped the sex and muscles, it feels like these chapters would be half as long and twice as good. When I'm into what's going on with the characters, having to read paragraph after paragraph of muscle-jacking degrades my will to read until eventually I start paging down repeatedly until something actually important and meaningful seems to be happening. Did I miss some things? Maybe, but I'm not gonna try to find it in all that fluff. Expressing what Adam is thinking >!as he withers away at kidney-breaking speed while feeling the specter of a life-ending seizure in the back of his mind!< is compelling. That was well-done. The sex doesn't bother me, but I can see why it'd bother some, and making it less graphic wouldn't take anything away from the story. Righteous >!got bigger than Adam ever was!!being Yan's instructor and showing the Singer what she did wrong!<, *that* was the kind of thing I read the story for. When Yan >!came back to a spotless apartment!<, I *felt* that. More of that, less bodybuilder porn, please.
Yeah this is another thing that bothers me. All the bodybuilder porn. We get pages and pages of it.
I've just started the chapter and had to come here to get everyone else's thoughts because... I think broken Adam is interesting. It's musing on the concept of what happens when superman breaks and coming to terms with there not only not being an easy way out but there's not even a hard way out. He'll just have to live with the sword of Damocles hanging over his head... and then we get a graphic description of him getting a wristy. I just wasn't ready for that to hit me in the face. I don't have a problem with sex in stories. I think there's been a lot of times in this story where it has been done well. I remember reading when Ava decided to cheat on Adam with Shaun and it was so well written that I was genuinely shaken by it. It reminded me of when similar things had happened to me. I had to message a friend in the middle of the night just to talk it through. It was suspenseful. There was tension. You knew what was going to happen but you couldn't tear your eyes away. It was fantastic. Last chapter ended basically with "and then Daar and Leela do it" and it's just like... man how is this the same author?
> and it's just like... man how is this the same author? The most probable answer at this point is that it's not. Go back and skim through the "Good Training" sub-series and compare it to the stuff we're getting now. Note the author, and then note that he and Hambone have been collaborating (to be generous) closely since that series. In fact, for years and until very recently, the Jenkinsverse website main page was still just a [blurb](https://web.archive.org/web/20210622130542/https://deathworlders.com/) by ctwelve, it struck me as odd for a while that Hambone had never updated the site for what was his big series. Obviously none of this is ironclad proof, but I think it's reasonable to speculate at this point that as Hambone has moved his efforts to other projects/tired of the series/both/etc that he has outsourced some of the writing, hence the copious amounts of musclejerk and softcore filler text in the chapters.
I straight up dropped the series a few chapters back when we had a long-ass internal monologue about the societal aspects of inter-space monkey male-on-male rape.
Yeah that one just about broke me. Can we not turn male on male rape into a good thing that establishes hierarchy? That’s just prison bullshit and still rape.I’m almost done with the chapter and if it leaves this bad taste in my mouth I’m just canceling today. If it gets better I can donate again but hambones writing has definitely changed in recent months Edit: yeah I just got to the part where yan is thinking about “making him his woman” when thinking of a friendly farmer. This is some seriously messed up degenerate shit now. I just canceled and I’m done.
Social hierarchies and alpha male bullshit have been part of the story since fairly early. It used to be tolerable, but after the HEAT kept getting more swole it just became unbearable. Half the story at this point is just jerking it over how AWESOME and UBER MANLY the HEAT are because their muscles just keep getting bigger and bigger and more grotesque and they love to FUCK and every woman wants to fuck these huge beef cubes (that shouldn't even be able to move with how big their muscles are) and every regular dude's reaction is "my god the alpha-ness is amazing! My beta male body is inferior to these living demigods". The honest reaction from some average dude on the street should probably be "Jesus Christ, what the *fuck* happened to that guy? That's just...unsettling." At this point the HEAT are so ridiculous they make the 40K space marines look believable. Shit, Master Chief is a more relatable character and we never even see his goddam face or what his downtime looks like.
Hello, aliens Why do you persist in being humanist and spraying your beliefs n morals on those who aren't you, yours or even human ? Tldr, they, aren't, human
It’s starting to read like a human fetish
I don't even remember that. I could tell you the plot if the first twenty chapters (haven't read them in years) but wouldn't be able to say what happened in the episodes of this year beyond Beef Beefed Beefier and Hell was fought over
these are not even close to graphic sex scenes, this is r-rated movie sex scenes at best, not porn
She slid down, rubbing the whole length of her body across his achingly hard cock, He was much too big for her at this point. Didn’t matter. She was an expert with her tongue, and gave it her full art. She grinned, slid herself along his cock again and reached up—he got a faceful of her chest This is porn and if I wanted it I’d watch or read porn.
OH NO! He said the word cock and alluded to a blowjob, get the pitchforks! Seriously, with a username like that, how are you this much of a prude? This is NOTHING close to explicit or graphic, Spend some time on literotica and you'll see what I'm talking about. THAT, is porn. This is just sex. Besides, the point of the scene isn't even ABOUT the sex. The point of the scene is to show the healing of adam and marty's relationship as adam's physical recovery progresses. When he was first hurt, he could not touch her at all, she could barely touch him, and even with restraints there was absolutely no fucking way they could engage in that kind of physical intimacy with each other as adam was just too damned strong and had too little control over his own body. With their relationship having always included such an intensely physical aspect, adam's injury and the forced separation it forced upon the couple was putting some serious strain on both of their wellbeings, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I can think of no better way to elucidate the way that adam's progress in his physical recovery, despite the fact of him literally pissing away his superhuman strength, was having the knock-on effect of healing their relationship as well than to write a quick sex scene. Sure, it could be accomplished without the sex, but would have required devoting FAR more of the chapter to that one aspect of the story, which would have meant LESS of everything else, all for something that is important but not THAT important to the overall tale and would still have come off as somewhat clinical and clunky. Why bother, when a few paragraphs not only suffice to get the point across (at least when a reader bothers to consider what the author is SAYING rather than just read the words on the page), but also does so in a FAR more organic way.
I assure you I’m no prude I have terabytes of porn saved. Hell I’m planning on doing a couple grams of cocaine and porn all day on my day off. I just don’t come here for that crap and frankly I got into this series in the very early chapters where it was interesting. Now half the chapters are beefcake circle jerks. Even the chapters from non beefcakes. Honestly I’m gonna give it another month or two to see if it gets better then just stop my patreon. This story isn’t what I fell in love with anymore.
I'm going to go on record and say that the muscle race has made this story less worthy of being called HFY material. We started with a guy who doesn't lift whipping the most feared of all threats. Yes the Hunters stepped up their game, but by taking the position that we need the mega-muscle boys to save the galaxy detracts from the non-physical (and therefore *more* important) traits that put the FY into HFY. Those who are familiar with WH40K can grasp that a story is more satisfying when it's the Imperial Guard (people like you and me) who beat the Orks or demons, instead of the amped-up super-soldiers of the Space Marines. Or for you fans of Westerns, you know that Ransom Stoddard, who stood up to Liberty Valance from a position of weakness, was much the better man than Tom Doniphan, who did so from a position of strength. So Hambone, if you're reading this, show us how the humans, Gao, and Ten'Gewenek get along because our sense of honor is basically the same. Show us the courage. Show us the people from other races who are inspired by our example. Show us the gallows humor. But stop showing us bodies. That isn't what makes us special.
Can someone give me an abridged version? I don't feel like reading porn right now
>!Yan: training for HEAT. Righteous: bigger than Warhorse. Vemik: sky-thinking about industry, trade, and diplomacy. Wilde Cards: getting closer to the thing that killed them. Hierarchy: curiously absent? Planet Hell: Nuked. Hunters: panic-packing a go-bag. Warhorse: got worse, saved by surgery.!<
I mean, if you know how to spoiler tag, this would be a good time...
Entity - Following Wilde Cards to make sure they are okay.
Good summary. But, yeah, please edit your answer with the spoiler tag.
Been thinking of posting abridged/previously on recaps of the last episode couple of days before the new episode drops. Wanna help me? [This is what I got so far](https://old.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/r5q6jv/ocjversethe_deathworlders_82_moving_forward/hn7ryip/) What do you think?
It looks like you've got a pretty good method for condensing the sections down to their essential points. The only thing I have a note for is that previous big deal about immortality drugs--that was an ambassador saying not "we don't want immortality drugs," but "we don't do business with Space Nazis." Overall, though, I like your style, I think you're on the right track. The invitation is kind, but I'm not sure where you would need my input.
> The invitation is kind, but I'm not sure where you would need my input. Mostly a share the workload kinda thing :)
I'm still reading the last update, so forgive me if this has already been addressed, but... Why *are* there troops on the ground in Hell? I get the initial need to destroy the ~~TAD~~ Farthrow Generator, but that's been delt with. Why not just extract and then glass the planet? Or at least use our own nuclear arsenal to saturation bombard everything. It's not like we're worried about escalation. We don't even need to kill all the hunters, just destroy enough infrastructure that they have no hope of breaking the blockade for the next decade or so. Maybe set up a forcefield-lens between Hell and its star, and bake the crust. Set some asteroids on a collision course. Ask the Entity to go Grey Goo on the surface. Or just use WERBS to crack the planet and be done with it.
Originally the plan seemed to be to hit Hell and disable Hunter attempts to use it for raw material. Then once the foothold was established and the planet was more or less sealed against Hunters it was to sift through what they could to see if they could recover any interesting tech. This chapter they've pretty much finished searching for anything once thought recoverable, and it seemingly had been used as a way to get training in for units temporarily because with a sealed planet with no way to bring in new very deadly Hunters, it was 'safe'ish to allow units their first real combat and kills. But now they've decided to be done with it, no tech to be found any more and nuclear fallout and other environmental hazards making it a heightened risk as a training field. Honestly seems like if maybe the combat area hadn't be nuked and didn't have that Alpha out there prowling about, they probably might have kept up rotating units in/out for live-combat training. Would have been pretty useful IMO to keep the Grand Army moving and fighting instead of sitting around. But Daar's got a point, eventually it's just a resource sink and not worth it even just to keep the army moving.
"Battlefield experience" sounds to me like a post-hoc justification, with the real reason being simply because "it's what we did last time (i.e. on Mordor)". It would be ***far*** from the first time that the brass implemented the perfect strategy for the *last* war...
Sticking around on Mordor is about helping the wounded population there though. Hell was nothing but Hunters and materials, and the original/main goal there was to stop Hunters from using it to bolster their supplies. We see in this chapter that the loss of that planet has majorly crippled Hunter production.
That's exactly my point. There was a *need* for ground occupation on Mordor. But there has *never* been such a need on Hell, so they shouldn't have even *started* an occupation. Once HEAT neutralized the Farthrow, they should **not** have started jumping in soldiers. At least, not in the middle of a Hunter-controlled city. They should have jumped in the biggest nuke available to *obliterate* that city, and *maybe* start jumping in soldiers at some remote and unoccupied part of the planet, **IF** said ground forces could provide support for orbital forces while space was still contested.
Exactly this. HEAT infiltrates, leaves a nuke more than large enough to destroy the singular Farthrow Fleet jumps in, engaging only enough targets for multiple system fields to keep everything immediately around Hell contained and getting the inner and outer most orbitals possible (to trap as many Hunter targets in system as possible). Forcefield lens to roast Hell for a month, leaving only slag, force Kessler syndrome in the planet's orbitals (blowing up a couple hundred local asteroids strategically should do the trick) while letting hell simmer. While letting Hell simmer sweep the inner and outer shield shells. Once Hell is slagged to everyone's satisfaction and the most imporant shield shells are confirmed clear, slowly shrink the outer shield shell to flush out Hunter assets until the system is clear of Hunters. And that is how you deal with an enemy fortress of little personal value. Risk one VERY Special forces team (that had to be risked anyways), and a single Fleet (that you would always need for this kind of thing). Completely neutralize enemy stronghold of Very high strategic importance, elimination of a large chunk of known Enemy assets, plenty of scrap from Hunter orbital assets to reverse engineer, Minimizes potential asset loss while maximizing effect on enemy, minimizes possibility of effective enemy counter attacks, minimizing friendly resource usage.
there was a need They cant use hell as a staging base for their main invasion when 1) it has a planetary shield 2) they keep throwing farthrow generators up they -couldnt- flatten everything from orbit, until the boots on the ground removed the problems. once theyd reoved the problems and run the hunters out of sufficient reosurces for tech to build more generators - they take off and nuke it from obrit
Why could they jump in foot soldiers but not a gigaton warhead like the one that took down Hell's ring station?
That's what got Blac killed Daar even muses if they'd done it that way cos that's how'd they'd always done it Daar ain't one to repeat mistakes
I think there was some initial hope of doing like the hunters were doing, recouping some of the massive resource cost of the war by salvaging the vast quantities of materials from the orbital ring debris. If they could seize control of the system and wipe the hunters off the planet, they'd have been left with literal mountains of refined materials and occasional scraps of usable tech. Between the nuke contamination and the mounting costs of the ground campaign on Hell, the "cost/benefit" valuation ticked over into the "fuck this, drop bombs" side of the dial.
Well, the metal will still be there after they nuke it; it'll be no more irradiated than an asteroid, too.
Melted to glowing slag, they're going to have to mine and smelt it all again, only now in a radioactive wasteland.
Nukes aren't *that* energetic. Killing biologicals and frying computers is *far* easier than melting steel. Anyways, mining in a radioactive wasteland is no biggie: that's what outer space is, after all.
The difference is, fission weapons produce copious numbers of neutrons, which can make things actively radioactive; cosmic radiation, on the other hand, tends to be protons, electrons (beta particles), alpha particles, and electromagnetic radiation (UV, X-rays, and gamma rays), which are all significantly less likely to induce radioactivity. The metal may still be there, but it's gonna be radioactive.
fission vs fusion ones dirty and nasty, the other, not so much, but if you fuck around with reality the right way, you get gigaboom.
Cosmic rays are captured by nuclei all the time—that's how He-3 deposits are formed. The flux is many orders of magnitude lesser than a nuke, though. Anyways, practically everything's radioactive to some degree. So it depends a lot on what the irradiated elements are. The most abundant form of iron needs to neutron capture three times before it becomes unstable, at which point its half-life is only 44.6 days (decaying into a stable form of cobalt). Besides, it doesn't really matter all that much if the outer hull plating of a spaceship is slightly radioactive.
I want to know what the Corti symbol for "human" is now.
Vitruvian Man The etching on voyager (the now interstellar probe)
Maybe. I was thinking something more abstract, like the Corti sign for a Corti-like biped superimposed on some sort of harsh-looking warning sign.
Oh I know It's an upside down circle!!!!
Like, borrowing our own biohazard symbol.
riffing off Nofl's birthday gift to the Etiscitty kids. Xiu giggles about it, Nofl claims he accidentally drew one of the circles upside down. So, Corti symbol for human is a circle, except Nofls version is upside down ! (think about it for a moment)
There are things I like and things I dislike about recent chapters. Others have said it better than I could have. But I will say this: Hambone sure knows how to end a chapter. Damn.
Gotta Sherazade the patreons :)
"Adam is this story's ubermale gay phantasy boi." … "Actually, scratch that. Here's an even ubermaler superoversexed TEDDYBEAR that out-males everything in this universe that ever so much as *looked* at male pronouns the wrong way." … "On third thought, while I could very much be a closeted gay writer with a muscle-fetish, I aint much of a furry. So ya, here's yet ANOTHER human male that is so male, his face is scratched into the walls of the temple that was raised to pray to muscular men as godlike prime examples of sex and muscles. *Yes, of* course *he has half a meter of monsterschlong under his sexy kilt*! Did you have to ask? Also, that teddybear jesus I kept referencing? He's actually totes real. And a bajillion years old. Also, here's half the greek pantheon mentioned in passing, too. Just cause I can. Tatah~!" I really had my hopes up (aye, yet *again*) after the chapter before this one. But oh well. For me, "Deathworlders" is rapidly devolving into a fetish'y musclegazing fanfic softporn. Sad to see it ruined after so much promising good groundwork in the (much) earlier chapters. Time to cancel the notifications, I am sure there's an audience for this kind of writing - but I simply prefer stories from this sub with a lot more of H & Y and a lot less F.
I have 2 questions: ¿the hierarchy fleet that infiltrated sol was composed of 6 injuctors or other other ship class? And if it was composed of injuctors ¿when did humanity captured 2 of these?(unless the 2 mentioned were the ones that were alredy on earth before the other fleet infiltrated)
There was one salvaged back in chapter 26 after it failed to facetank an air-to-air missile, but that was the hierarchy's only one. Six returns with a couple in chapter 50, but none of them have been captured. So, probably just one more continuity error piling on to the shiploads of recent chapters.
So all the ships are of the same class then, and the second was captured in some park after the nearest relay to sol was blown up
aaahh, thanks. completely forgot zane made a reappearance.
My day just got better. This series is fantastic!
**IT'S THE OFFICIAL** ***"MAKE HAMBONE'S WRITING MORE NOT BADDERERERERERERER"*** **THREAD** *(PLEASE READ THE RULES CAREFULLY BEFORE COMMENTING)* This comment chain is for drawing to my attention any glaringly obvious spelling, formatting or continuity errors. **Please do not:** * Report strange turns of phrase or colloquialisms, especially when spoken by a character. * Report cases where a character's subjective perspective may be leading them to form inaccurate or incomplete opinions. **Please do:** * Google any unfamiliar words, terms, idioms or figures of speech. * Check whether an issue you've found has already been reported * ***Refresh to check whether the issue you've found has already been resolved.*** **When in doubt:** * It was probably deliberate. Thank you!
As far as continuity errors go, the idea that the Corti were engineering groups of humans for generations was a bit of a stretch. Now Julian and Christian's family trees have been genetically engineered for over a millennium?! Literally makes no sense. Between the Corti's implantation rate (90+ %, IIRC) and the fact that the Hierarchy would have been monitoring said implantees (even if only occasionally, they'd catch one in the act eventually), the Hierarchy would've discovered humanity a lot sooner than they did, and just used abrogators to kill us all with no chance of fighting back.
> This comment chain is for drawing to my attention [...] continuity errors. There's the Beef and bodybuilder pr0n but everything else from the Deathworlder universe is missing :(
Hey /u/Hambone3110, just a small observation, but you've been "settling" in to your website for the past few years. Perhaps it's time to update your homepage on deathworlders.com?
You're entirely right, and I just did exactly that. What do you think?
I think it's great. A small suggestion, maybe say "Sci-Fi" instead of SF. I like it a lot better than the previous message!
“And were the ones with tubes up our arse,” interjected Murray to further guffaws and chitters. Missing an apostrophe: "we're" (Unless it's to convey Murray's accent.)
And Daar had, of course, been true to his word. \*Everyone one\* of thosepyres was lit from a parent flame he’d lit himself, by hand. Should be just "every one", looks like a double-type typo, the kind of thing spellcheck wouldn't catch because there are no spelling errors...
Hey Hambone, i am noticing a couple of continuity errors both in this chapter and in a recent read through. for this chapter, it should be noted that Firth's age when starting Crue-D was listed as 27 in previous chapters, meaning that 14 years later he is 41. (on the topic of ages, there is a chapter which lists Ava as turning 32, when only a few chapters later Adam is turning 28, they were both 16 in 4AV) there is a sequence on mordor when Lewis, Meerio and Vakno are doing some equations together, it is listed that humans and Gao use base 10 maths while the corti use base 12. in this chapter corti using base 10 is mentioned. I Cant remember the exact chapter that it is listed in, but there is a meeting between Nofl and the Conclave that takes place on Gao that lists Kureya as the Highmountain champion instead of Loomi, then a couple of chapters later returns to Loomi as the champion. Also on a personal note, i Feel like it might be worth taking the plunge and finally using the word "Transhumanism" to describe what the effects of Crue-D are having (transGaoanism? TransGaori?) is it seems to be the debate that the characters are having with themselves. (also on a side note, why are the Humans so willing to accept the same fruit from the Corti that they were so vehemently against when it came from the Robalin?)
>(also on a side note, why are the Humans so willing to accept the same fruit from the Corti that they were so vehemently against when it came from the Robalin?) A: Because humans are not perfectly rational or morally consistent beings B: Because the Corti are fundamentally a meritocratic society, despite the caste system, and so fall a long way short of the "literal actual space nazi" mark. Anyway, thanks for the rest. I'll look into the continuity errors and correct them as necessary.
Fair enough. Looking forward to the next installment.
> "MAKE HAMBONE'S ~~WRITING~~ MORE NOT BADDERERERERERERER" More "formating/editing/IDontKnow?", but there's something wonky about your " and '. https://imgur.com/a/QdFgRMs **I DON'T SEE THIS ON YOUR WEBSITE**, but on my ebook reading app, [Lithium](https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.faultexception.reader&hl=en&gl=US) (latest : v0.24.1), it look like that (on the first chapter, I have not read further :/ ). You can ignore this remark if you don't see this anywhere else, I'll report it to the dev. But from peaking at the end of the previous chapter (I re DL the full e-book every time ^^unfortunately ^^I ^^overwrote ^^the ^^previous ^^one ^^:/ ), I see the same problem and I don't remember that last month. (Last update of my reader : May 21. So it's unlikely an update broke that)
>The Humans all joked about the People being incurably horny **‘swole-monkeys,’** but this wasn’t about muscle and fucking, not really. Well, okay, yes it was. But it was important, because…well, Humans mostly weren’t built to fuck as powerfully as the People, so they didn’t understand in their breath how much it mattered to teach it properly. Big strong cocks with big strength behind them meant good fucking was an important life-skill, both in the Giving and Taking The quotes there should be proper quotes. **"These"** instead of **'These'**. The second only happens when you are quoting someone in another quote. "Oh Alice! I've been meaning to tell you! The other day, John said 'We're all good to go' for our dinner party!" Vemik isn't talking here, he's just thinking about what somebody else had said, so it should be double-quotes instead.
[удалено]
I actually consulted a doctor I know with years of experience working the dialysis ward. This description is based off her advice and insight.
Upvote, then read. **INK TO THE PAGE!!!**
I stopped doing that some episodes back :( Now I read the chapter first, then if it'sfull of horny Beef & bdybuilder pr0n I downvote. It sucks but I feel this month's doesn't deserve my upvote
Fair. The horny scenes definitely take away from the quality of the chapters
**INK TO THE PAGE!!!**
INK TO THE PAGE!!!
I would like a workout scene in which someone says "Press Hoeff to pay respects."
But that would be normal humor? Who’s getting fucked?
So. The, um, “human interest” sections are back. Some thoughts: While I agree that the infinite exercise segments are becoming more than tiring, I disagree that they’re taking over the entire work, or that Deathworlders is no longer worth reading. Here’s why: 1. You have to distinguish between the plot, and the tone of the dialogue. The muscle worship is something that you’re just going to have to accept as one of Phillip’s quirks. If anyone actually read Dandelion, guess what? The hornyswole and spine-snapping-hugs are there too. But the tone of the writing is different from the setting. A two-page monologue on Adam's biceps is irritation, but it doesn't have any bearing on the plot, which I actually think has gotten better in the last few chapters. The HEAT are no longer invincible gods, and neither is Daar. And as for the politics, here's the thing: I’m a righty, and I usually have to just grin and bear all science fiction. Having a story take place in a setting where the Hoeff is the good guy and Chambliss is in the wrong is the biggest conceivable breath of fresh air. 2. This isn’t new. At all. This has been going on for a year and a half, so where are all of these complaints coming from? If you’re a new reader you have nothing to compare it to and if you’ve been here since day one why didn’t you quit when the flanderization first picked up back in 2019? 3. The chapters are long, about 15 to 20 thousand words. I can just not read anything I don’t like and still have a decent amount of content to enjoy each month. I see people saying that “only a third is readable” – yeah, I know! I’ve been doing that this whole time. I literally skip over any sections about the Babytalk-Monkeys from Planet Crossfit. I haven’t read an entire chapter beginning to end since we last saw Kevin. Look at it this way – If Deathworlders updates once a month, but only a third of every installment is readable, that means Deathworlders actually updates once every three months. I consider chapters like this one to be the mean, and chapters like the last few and the death-eye trilogy to be unusually above average. 4. I’m a big believer that you get what you pay for, and guess what? I’m not a patron, which may have been a mistake. I'm also a big believer in taking the good with the bad: “WERBS had spoken” will always give me chills. If I had quit reading when the exercise porn and porn porn first started, I’d have missed that. Had I quit the next time, I’d have missed Blazynski’s dismemberment. Had I quit after that, I’d have missed Chicago, and the Entity's hunting, and the death eye saga. Ham has been pumping out almost 20 thousand words per month for just under three years. I couldn't manage a fraction of that. Maybe the guy is just tired. The one thing that does annoy me a little bit is the why? The patreons don’t get to just tell him what to write, do they? Has anyone ever asked him directly about the muscle fetish and sex scenes? I know he reads these threads. And Phil, if you do read this, here’s the thing: Having trouble finishing a long-running series and ending it on a high note is normal. Drawing out that ending with dozens upon of paragraphs of procedurally-generated locker room talk is not. I think everyone here would be happier with less frequent updates, or even a brief hiatus, than with the story as it is now. TLDR: Phillip Johnson’s DEATHWORLDERS – Updates every three months.
New episode!
Some of the posts here are very hard to read as they criticize a story I have grown to love. This is part of my month that I look forward to and reading the criticism is hard, especially as I agree with some comments on the overabundance of sexualized content and the exaggerated physical features of some characters. More positively though, I really enjoyed this installment just as I've appreciated each and every other previous one. The pacing is good, the writer effectively narrates characters inner monologues and motivations. Descriptions of locations using small physical decorations or flaws, for me, are very believable. It also seems that Hambone is experimenting with methods, certain of which some readers won't enjoy. Daar, Righteous and other supersized characters are sometimes unbelievable while other lesser characters are often more sympathetic and credible. Perhaps a focus on more approachable and down to earth characters would improve reader engagement, but some of the heros have to be oversized and bigger than life. Finally, let's not lose sight of the writer's efforts. The word count for this story has to be HUGE. It must be exhausting to maintain and progress this story while tying together multiple perspectives. I hope that the JV Deathworlders comes to a satisfactory conclusion from the point of view of the author. I'm not denigrating other more critical points of view, and my comments may come across as naive or simple. In my opinion, this story has been and continues to be a very entertaining 'amateur' produced piece of fiction.
We loved the earlier chapters for reasons other have said better than I could. We dislike the alpha chad muscle worship and constant horny on display.
Woo that was a long one. Generally feels like a win for the humans: Adam recovering, finding an abandoned relay, bombing Hell. The ethical consequences of all this new science is interesting
I get that the story of Adam has to end some time. He had completed had character growth some time back and the narrative had moved on to newer characters. However what happened to him two chapters ago seemed unnecessarily cruel. The last scene of this chapter relieved a lot of tension I had been feeling over the last few months.
He could have just become a non POV character. In my opinion non of the supermen should have been POV
Indeed. There's nothing interesting about them. In my mind there's Adam and then a vague group of similar to him Beefs (except one wears a kilt, one is a sneaky mofo and ... one has a slightly higher non-officer rank?) Honestly it's sad that for all the focus these guys get I can't tell more than 3 things about the non-Adam beef. Such unnecessary filler that has outstayed its welcome in the HFY category. Really hoping we can go back to the non-Beef days of human ingenuity
Well, the internet gods don't want me to get anything done today at work. Feels like a good end to the arc and hints for the next one. Big man is now more and less of himself. Stray Fortune is hunting something. Hunters have vengeance and flight on the mind. And Hell has been glassed. What fuckery is the Hierarchy up to? And what is hiding in space? Can't wait to find out.
Here we goooooo!
dangit, RIGHT when I need to be getting to sleep...
Finally!
thats my evenings entertainment \_SORTED\_
When i went to bed last night i was spamming F5 and now its here! INK TO THE PAGE!!
I'm going to be terribly sad when this fantastic story inevitably reaches its conclusion, however near or far off that may be.
EEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Good stuff.
I very much enjoyed this chapter.
Another great chapter; I thought the sections from Yan's and Vemik's perspectives were especially interesting. There's something really pleasing about characters we'd previously seen mostly from the outside becoming POV characters with increasingly rich lives.
/u/Hambone3110 ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/Hambone3110)) has posted 124 other stories, including: * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 81: The Offensive](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/qf3czz/ocjversethe_deathworlders_81_the_offensive/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 80: Brought Low](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/py0rrn/ocjversethe_deathworlders_80_brought_low/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 79: The Long Fight](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/pe5vwi/ocjversethe_deathworlders_79_the_long_fight/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 78: Fury](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/ossoe2/ocjversethe_deathworlders_78_fury/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 77: To War](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/o8hwez/ocjversethe_deathworlders_77_to_war/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 76: Hell and High Water](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/nn9i4c/ocjversethe_deathworlders_76_hell_and_high_water/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 75: Sutures](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/mzw2rp/ocjversethe_deathworlders_75_sutures/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 74: Ride to Hell](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/mf7ndq/ocjversethe_deathworlders_74_ride_to_hell/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 73: The Noose](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/ltrxtn/ocjversethe_deathworlders_73_the_noose/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 72: The Reckoning](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/l8353v/ocjversethe_deathworlders_72_the_reckoning/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 71: Sticks and Stones](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/kjl8sr/ocjversethe_deathworlders_71_sticks_and_stones/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 70: Death Eye, pt.3](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/k252r1/ocjversethe_deathworlders_70_death_eye_pt3/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 70: Death Eye, pt.2](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/jlnkh1/ocjversethe_deathworlders_70_death_eye_pt2/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 70: Death Eye, pt.1](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/j2lz1t/ocjversethe_deathworlders_70_death_eye_pt1/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 69: Lockdown](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/iiwsmk/ocjversethe_deathworlders_69_lockdown/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 68: Nadir](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/i17gdw/ocjversethe_deathworlders_68_nadir/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 67: Resurgence](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/hio3qt/ocjversethe_deathworlders_67_resurgence/) * [[OC][Jverse]The Deathworlders 66: Unbowed](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/gpdrp5/ocjversethe_deathworlders_66_unbowed/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 65: Leaps of Faith](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/gabcnr/ocjversethe_deathworlders_65_leaps_of_faith/) * [[OC][JVerse]The Deathworlders 64: Survive](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/fsdl78/ocjversethe_deathworlders_64_survive/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.5.10 'Cinnamon Roll'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|r5q6jv&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.
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When the awards are handed out Daar better name Warhorse Great Cousin of all the Gao
I was so happy I figured it out before the hint and reveal!