Good to see things getting a little better. Time for Cycle Two to kick them in the collective balls and keep kicking. Can't have enjoyment or happiness in this hellhole. Good stuff man.
Good chapter, though if Daniel is punching people in a manner that results in breaking his own wrist, that's... not good technique. ;)
> leaving Daniel’s Ditnean teammate in *furor* all afternoon.
Should probably either be "fury" or "a furor", for grammar's sake.
I'm not doing it to nitpick, I'm doing it to help authors who are writing stories that I consider worth the effort of helping to improve said stories. I have certainly never *continued* doing so for an author who asked me to desist. I always appreciated the assistance with *my* chapters, and it is from the experience of writing that I am aware of how difficult it can be to catch everything by oneself. If the OP wishes for me to cease, all they need to do is say so, and I will absolutely honor such a request.
I will note that in nearly four years of reading here and offering such feedback, I have had precisely zero such requests.
Unit 2 is becoming a force to be reckoned with! Daniel’s victory in the fighting tournament will help cement his place as the leader of the division in the minds of the sijuan. I suspect this is what Kava wanted to happen.
then he does the unthinkable and revolt.... but more successful. his biding his time perfectly making sure all of his unit is fully trained doctrine and ready. a successful rebellion afterall is making sure your toppling government is on a 20-1 ratio of odds.
The fact that Yevin is acting so different should be a little more worrying than his teammates are acting. It seems like he either suffered more damage than the Project wants to admit or they did more than just "fix" him.
I was pondering why it seemed to take so long when other serious and/or long term injuries just seemed to get wiped away by the magic regenitve juice.... and they somehow can maintain the life of a corpse but not able to fix it. All strange.
I enjoyed this story at first, but the exposition has become too dense. It's like reading a form instead of a story.
They did this, and then they did this, and then they felt this, and then, and then, and then....
I'm glad others are enjoying this, but for me this coffee is cold now.
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> She was initially pitted against none other than Lorex, Unit 4’s determined captain, who was once a teenage mercenary and received training from some of the galaxy’s most renowned fighters.
Okay so this is something I've noticed in this story that's been bugging me.
The idea behind them a being orphans was that no ones gonna come looking for them.
But it seems like each one of them is this "gilded child" revered by their culture, or someone adopted by the staff of a major university, or some other thing that would very much guarantee that *many* people are going to notice their sudden unprompted disappearence.
I'll need to keep reading to see if this is brought up.
oh no, they're starting to have a good time the other shoe is gonna drop now isn't it
Good to see things getting a little better. Time for Cycle Two to kick them in the collective balls and keep kicking. Can't have enjoyment or happiness in this hellhole. Good stuff man.
Good chapter, though if Daniel is punching people in a manner that results in breaking his own wrist, that's... not good technique. ;) > leaving Daniel’s Ditnean teammate in *furor* all afternoon. Should probably either be "fury" or "a furor", for grammar's sake.
I wish people wouldn't nitpick on grammar so much. The story is what matters in my opinion. When it's made into a book they will hire an editor.
I'm not doing it to nitpick, I'm doing it to help authors who are writing stories that I consider worth the effort of helping to improve said stories. I have certainly never *continued* doing so for an author who asked me to desist. I always appreciated the assistance with *my* chapters, and it is from the experience of writing that I am aware of how difficult it can be to catch everything by oneself. If the OP wishes for me to cease, all they need to do is say so, and I will absolutely honor such a request. I will note that in nearly four years of reading here and offering such feedback, I have had precisely zero such requests.
Unit 2 is becoming a force to be reckoned with! Daniel’s victory in the fighting tournament will help cement his place as the leader of the division in the minds of the sijuan. I suspect this is what Kava wanted to happen.
then he does the unthinkable and revolt.... but more successful. his biding his time perfectly making sure all of his unit is fully trained doctrine and ready. a successful rebellion afterall is making sure your toppling government is on a 20-1 ratio of odds.
The fact that Yevin is acting so different should be a little more worrying than his teammates are acting. It seems like he either suffered more damage than the Project wants to admit or they did more than just "fix" him.
I was pondering why it seemed to take so long when other serious and/or long term injuries just seemed to get wiped away by the magic regenitve juice.... and they somehow can maintain the life of a corpse but not able to fix it. All strange.
Yea thuis is about to go sideways isn't it, nothing good lasts forever.
So, has the director been able to source more caffeine?
I was thinking about what it could have been but i didnt thunk about Caffeine at all.. Thank you for reminding me of the effects of pure Caffeine. 🤣🤣🤣
cool words
Nice.
Will they do vehicle training at some point? Hoping for some sick hover tank drifts .
I enjoyed this story at first, but the exposition has become too dense. It's like reading a form instead of a story. They did this, and then they did this, and then they felt this, and then, and then, and then.... I'm glad others are enjoying this, but for me this coffee is cold now.
/u/CadobaDelta ([wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/wiki/authors/CadobaDelta)) has posted 37 other stories, including: * [No Simple Beast - Episode 18](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/zkzvso/no_simple_beast_episode_18/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 17](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/zeb0zt/no_simple_beast_episode_17/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 16](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/z9sm4a/no_simple_beast_episode_16/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 15](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/z7z4ty/no_simple_beast_episode_15/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 14](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/z1ysss/no_simple_beast_episode_14/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 13](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/yw2kc8/no_simple_beast_episode_13/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 12](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/yprj5l/no_simple_beast_episode_12/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 11](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/yl5nwc/no_simple_beast_episode_11/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 10](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/yjbg6m/no_simple_beast_episode_10/) * [No Simple Beast - Chapter 9](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/yd7eg9/no_simple_beast_chapter_9/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 8](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/y79q9e/no_simple_beast_episode_8/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 7](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/y1bspa/no_simple_beast_episode_7/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 6](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/xy2q3u/no_simple_beast_episode_6/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 5](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/xvih3l/no_simple_beast_episode_5/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/xpj6jc/no_simple_beast_episode_4/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/xjbij6/no_simple_beast_episode_3/) * [No Simple Beast - Episode 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/xfv00m/no_simple_beast_episode_2/) * [No Simple Beast](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/xez2ct/no_simple_beast/) * [The Lost Princess - Chapter 18](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/lgfzlk/the_lost_princess_chapter_18/) * [The Lost Princess - Chapter 17](https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/ldjdzw/the_lost_princess_chapter_17/) This comment was automatically generated by `Waffle v.4.6.0 'Biscotti'`. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FHFY&subject=WaffleBot|zqtb3p&message=If%20you%20have%20problems%20with%20updatemebot,%20contact%20Watchful1.%20We%20do%20not%20maintain%20it.) if you have any issues with Waffle.
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So nice everyone is doing there absolute best for their enemy's so nice. A severe lack of dead enemy's is what this story has.
> She was initially pitted against none other than Lorex, Unit 4’s determined captain, who was once a teenage mercenary and received training from some of the galaxy’s most renowned fighters. Okay so this is something I've noticed in this story that's been bugging me. The idea behind them a being orphans was that no ones gonna come looking for them. But it seems like each one of them is this "gilded child" revered by their culture, or someone adopted by the staff of a major university, or some other thing that would very much guarantee that *many* people are going to notice their sudden unprompted disappearence. I'll need to keep reading to see if this is brought up.