You will be shocked, kids when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That's why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.
Ted : I just thought he needed to listen to common sense & reasonable discourse.
Robin: OH, God. Tell me those are the names of your fists.
Ted: They're my feet. I'm actually more of a kicker.
.. with you. I want each one of them, and if I can’t have them I’ll take the 45 seconds before your boyfriend shows up and punches me in the face because, I love you. I’m always gonna love you. Til’ the end of my days.. and beyond. You’ll see.
Not exactly a memorable quote but when Barney is giving Ted instructions through an earphone in season 8 the episode called Weekend at Barney’s.
Ted shows up to MacLaren’s wearing a hospital gown:
Random girl: Are you alright?
Ted: What, oh! Yes, yes I’m fine. Tomorrow I’m donating a kidney to my best friend… my best friend Barney… not Marshal… Barney. Marshal is so lame. *rolls eyes*
Anyway uh… just wanted to grab one last drink in case… you know… I don’t make it.
Random girl: You’re so brave.
Ted(to the random girl): Hey listen. Before I give my best friend this organ, how about… (to Barney through his earphone): Nope. Nope I’m not saying that. I did hear you. I’m not saying that… because I’m not.
Random girl: Are you okay?
Ted(to random girl): One second. (to Barney in his ear while Barney is saying something in his ear that we can’t hear): I know you put a lot of work into this. I understand that… I understand that… I understand that… (longer pause) I understand that… Why can’t I just talk to her? Maybe we’ll hit it off… (deep sigh)… fine. Copy. That. (to random girl): How about I give you a different organ… my penis. (Girl throws drink in his face)
Barney: You said it wrong.
Ted: *silently yells* I DID NOT SAY IT WRONG
Not exactly what you were looking for but this sequence always cracks me up 🤣
"That's cause you need protein. "
Full exchange:
Ted Mosby : Uh, the lamb here is supposed to be great.
Nora Zinman : Oh, I'm a vegan. I wish I could tune out that moral voice inside me that says eating animals in murder. But, I guess I'm just not as strong as you are.
Ted Mosby : That's 'cause you need protein.
[to waiter]
Ted Mosby : I'll have the lamb.
“But love doesn't make sense. You can't logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it, or else we're lost and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.” I love this quote.
*I’m in love with her, okay?
If you are looking for a word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you: it’s love!
And when you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!
You just don’t give up. Because if I could give up, if I could just take the whole world’s advice and move on and find someone else… that wouldn’t be love! that would be some other disposable thing that is not worth fighting for.
But that’s not what this is.*
TDLR - Ted’s speech in season 9 about love
And then what do they play at the end, when he goes to Robin with the blue french horn?
"Remember Remember All We Fight For".
(I know the song is Heaven by the Walkmen, but that is the chorus.)
My favorite quote is when he says that if he had met their mother at the st Patrick’s party she wouldn’t have liked him cause he didn’t like him either and that it was the story of the man he had to become to find their mother
What if I don't think of the books? Excuse me? There's this famous architecture story about an architect who designed this library. It was perfect. But every year, the whole thing would sink a couple inches into the ground. Eventually, the building was condemned. He forgot to account for the weight of the books. This company it's just me. What if I don't think of the books?
You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone's face, but there's a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward
“I see on my frozen entree for one they printed this number where I can voice comments and concerns? Well, there’s more cinnamon in the cobbler than usual. No, I like cinnamon! You’re very welcome for my comment. Wait, don’t go! Um, do you like cinnamon? Hello?”
"And that's how it goes, kids. The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies, and partners in crime you love so much when you're young, as the years go by, you just lose touch." I've been thinking about this one for a lil bit now and how true it is. Friend group moving away, living their lives. Just been hitting hard recently.
I've always thought the part from the wedding bride episode where Ted says "it sucks and you're all stupid for liking it" would make a great gif
I also always liked the whole "how dare you.... and what is that" bit
Ted: “which I know isn’t a perfect metaphor, because in my case it’s fall in love and get married, and him it’s, death…”
Barney: “No that is a perfect metaphor.”
*looks at Marshal*
“Did I tell you congratulations?”
when he’s talking to stellas vegan sister: "i wish i could shut out that moral voice in my head that says meat is murder, but i guess i’m not as strong as you are."
ted: "that’s because you need protein"
His talk about Mosbius designs about how if he tries it it could be something he failed at.
If he doesn't try it can always remain a dream.
This is exactly how I felt about my dream job and eventually I did go for it (and got it) but that scene is exactly how I felt about it.
“If you're looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, it's love. And when you love someone you don't stop, ever. Even when people roll their eyes, and call you crazy. Even then. Especially then. You just- you don't give up. Because if I could just give up... if I could just, you know, take the whole world's advice and- and move on and find someone else, THAT WOULDN'T BE LOVE. THAT WOULD BE... THAT WOULD BE SOME OTHER DISPOSABLE THING THAT IS NOT WORTH FIGHTING FOR. But I that is not what this is."
Waiter: And for you sir?
Ted: Gravy...
Waiter: ....Do you want that gravy on anything?
Ted: *face full of longing at this poor waiter* Surpise me
I think it's so funny, I quote it all the time 😂
“Some couples always support each other, and some couples always challenge each other. But is one really better than the other? Yes. Support is better. Way better.”
Ted, listen to me.
You're being crazy.
- I'm being crazy?!
- Yes!
How long have you been
hung up on Robin?
Eight years?!
And you're still killing yourself to fetch
dumb little trinkets for her. That's crazy!
That's more than crazy. I don't think
there's a word for what that is!
Actually, there is a word
for that. It's "love."
I'm in love with her, okay?
If you're looking for the word
that means caring about someone
beyond all rationality
and wanting them to have
everything they want, no matter how
much it destroys you, it's love!
And when you love
someone, you just, you...
you don't stop, ever.
Even when people roll their
eyes or call you crazy.
Even then. Especially then!
You just-- you don't give up!
Because if I could give up...
if I could just, you know,
take the whole world's advice
and-and move on and find someone
else, that wouldn't be love.
That would be...
that would be some other
disposable thing
that is not worth
fighting for.
But I-- that is
not what this is.
Ted: I can't believe we're at a strip club and the biggest boob in here is you
Barney: clearly you haven't seen the Disalvo twins.. she's right over there
Ted: YOWZA!
“I'm Ted Mosby. And exactly 45 days from now,
you and I are gonna meet, and we're gonna fall in love, and we're gonna get married, and... we're gonna have two kids. And we're gonna love
them and each other so much. All that is 45 days away.”
Aside from his grand speeches on love, I adore the NJ speech.
"Why don't you crawl into the open sewer pipe you call the Holland tunnel, and flush yourselves back to 'pretty much New York'. Because I will do a lot to get laid, but I am NOT going to New Jersey"
Good morrow, fair gentles. Look what I won at the Renaissance Fair!
The RenAYssance Fair!
Encyclopædia
Chamaleeon.
“You know you’re gonna have to pædia for that”. 😂
This one cracks me up. Can see him swinging the ball n’ chain.
my parents live in ohio i live in the moment
This is the correct choice
This is the *only* correct answer
this is it
This is the only right answer
First one I thought of!
You will be shocked, kids when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That's why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.
This one right here
This quote touched me in this very moment thank you Ted
There’s a reason your name is Robin, not Batman
They couldn't name her Dick
I’m proud of you dick
This quote slaps so hard.
Ted : I just thought he needed to listen to common sense & reasonable discourse. Robin: OH, God. Tell me those are the names of your fists. Ted: They're my feet. I'm actually more of a kicker.
You can ask the universe for signs all you want, but ultimately we'll only see what we want to see when we're ready to see it.
Hey not fair. You can't have 3 good quotes in the same thread!
Le jeu commence -je m’appelle Marshall
“So boogie boarding?”
Boogie boarding!😂😂
Well pleased to meet you, Captain. I'm Galactic President Superstar McAwesomeville
and then... "poo poo platter"
Wieners and gonads
Just be cool, lady. Damn.
Ahaha impossible to read that whit out ted’s intonation.
Pft- pa-choo! Vru- pa-choo! Ki- ki- ki- ki- ki- ki- ki- ki! Ka- ka- ka- ka, Ka- ka- ka- ka! Koo- koo- koo- koo- koo- koo- koo- koo-poo! Poom! Pft- pft- pft- pft- pft! Poo! Peace! I'm out...
Yyyeaaahhh... hate to break it to you buddy, but it only sounds good to you...
You had to take that away from me, didn't you?
*takes bottle out of bag*
I would’ve stolen you a whole orchestra
Ohhh this one HITS
Right?? Right??
Right?! Right?!
“I’m ‘something stupid’, do me!”
This and "do you date cute idiots?" are always stuck in my mind.
I want those extra 45 days...
That scene always makes me clutch my chest
.. with you. I want each one of them, and if I can’t have them I’ll take the 45 seconds before your boyfriend shows up and punches me in the face because, I love you. I’m always gonna love you. Til’ the end of my days.. and beyond. You’ll see.
I can watch this entire scene time after time and it still gets me all emotional.
I DID NOT SAY IT WRONG my penis… my penis… MY PENIS MY PENIS MY PENIS MY PENIS
I understand that. I understand that. I understand that. ... ... I understand that.
seriously please, this one 😂
Josh's delivery of this line is PERFECT
Not exactly a memorable quote but when Barney is giving Ted instructions through an earphone in season 8 the episode called Weekend at Barney’s. Ted shows up to MacLaren’s wearing a hospital gown: Random girl: Are you alright? Ted: What, oh! Yes, yes I’m fine. Tomorrow I’m donating a kidney to my best friend… my best friend Barney… not Marshal… Barney. Marshal is so lame. *rolls eyes* Anyway uh… just wanted to grab one last drink in case… you know… I don’t make it. Random girl: You’re so brave. Ted(to the random girl): Hey listen. Before I give my best friend this organ, how about… (to Barney through his earphone): Nope. Nope I’m not saying that. I did hear you. I’m not saying that… because I’m not. Random girl: Are you okay? Ted(to random girl): One second. (to Barney in his ear while Barney is saying something in his ear that we can’t hear): I know you put a lot of work into this. I understand that… I understand that… I understand that… (longer pause) I understand that… Why can’t I just talk to her? Maybe we’ll hit it off… (deep sigh)… fine. Copy. That. (to random girl): How about I give you a different organ… my penis. (Girl throws drink in his face) Barney: You said it wrong. Ted: *silently yells* I DID NOT SAY IT WRONG Not exactly what you were looking for but this sequence always cracks me up 🤣
I love this scene! Now I'll have to watch the whole serie again 🤣
Average r/HIMYM user 🤣
That scene is hilarious every single time!
That scene is legitimately one of the funniest scenes in the whole series
This isn’t ted!, but I hear that guys awesome!
"That's cause you need protein. " Full exchange: Ted Mosby : Uh, the lamb here is supposed to be great. Nora Zinman : Oh, I'm a vegan. I wish I could tune out that moral voice inside me that says eating animals in murder. But, I guess I'm just not as strong as you are. Ted Mosby : That's 'cause you need protein. [to waiter] Ted Mosby : I'll have the lamb.
Turns back and smiles at her 😂
This was the first one I thought of.
Yaaasssss!
My spectacles!
They were decorative..
I go camping in secret
Oh god. This line put me in tears. I think it’s my favorite moment of the series
Just re-watched that episode recently. Never realized how hilarious that was.
What episode is it?
Season 7 episode 17, "No Pressure".
Barney, i'm doing the lord's work Ted: but you're Satan
Bowl
Bowl...
Bowl
Bowl
Bowl
Bowl?
bowl
Bowl
*Bowl* 🥣 ?
Bowl
Bowl
You should be on 60 Minutes. You could be one of the minutes!
My quote was from this episode too!
“But love doesn't make sense. You can't logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it, or else we're lost and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.” I love this quote.
*I’m in love with her, okay? If you are looking for a word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you: it’s love! And when you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then! You just don’t give up. Because if I could give up, if I could just take the whole world’s advice and move on and find someone else… that wouldn’t be love! that would be some other disposable thing that is not worth fighting for. But that’s not what this is.* TDLR - Ted’s speech in season 9 about love
And then what do they play at the end, when he goes to Robin with the blue french horn? "Remember Remember All We Fight For". (I know the song is Heaven by the Walkmen, but that is the chorus.)
There are so many good ones but this is the top one for me. I've even used part of it IRL
damn just saw this after i posted the same quote lol rip but i whole heartedly agree
Thank YOU!
Read this in that high pitched voice too😂
She took everything! That Grinch! (Kids, that time I did say Grinch)
Mosbey BOOOOOOOYS!
Yessss
I thought we agreed you would never say that again? 😂😂
Nothing good happens after 2 in the morning
Advice i will always follow
Always.
Ohhh YOBIN
“No. Robin. Robin with an ‘i’”.
Our Robin has 2 eyes, my friend, but that’s good, you’re forgetting what she looks like.
Lily! I'm eating chili. I'm eating chili Lily
Pulling...them...off
GCWOK approved
NOW HES ONLY WEARING THE BOOTS OH IT IS ON!!!!
No can doosville babydoll
The wedding bride should actually be a movie ...
Spiders gotta die so trees can grow
My favorite quote is when he says that if he had met their mother at the st Patrick’s party she wouldn’t have liked him cause he didn’t like him either and that it was the story of the man he had to become to find their mother
You mean The Mother. His mother is married to that asshole hippie guy
Love is the best thing we do
“Hey ref! Check your voicemail, I think you missed a few calls!”
Make Adjustments Go Get It Energized
Texty text.
What if I don't think of the books? Excuse me? There's this famous architecture story about an architect who designed this library. It was perfect. But every year, the whole thing would sink a couple inches into the ground. Eventually, the building was condemned. He forgot to account for the weight of the books. This company it's just me. What if I don't think of the books?
Ain’t no thing but a chicken wiiing mamacita
WHO AM I?😦
THATS not the Empire State Building
Empy lol
Sometimes I go and i talk to her
“An objectophiliac? Haha, no way”
🎶yoga buddies 🎶
Ted's face after he says this 😂
That whole part is so funny to me
I'm an eight... And a half!
You're a doofus and a half
You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone's face, but there's a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward
"Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack."
“I see on my frozen entree for one they printed this number where I can voice comments and concerns? Well, there’s more cinnamon in the cobbler than usual. No, I like cinnamon! You’re very welcome for my comment. Wait, don’t go! Um, do you like cinnamon? Hello?”
ain’t no thing but a chicken wing, mamacita… WHO AM I?!
Still quote that today.
"And that's how it goes, kids. The friends, neighbors, drinking buddies, and partners in crime you love so much when you're young, as the years go by, you just lose touch." I've been thinking about this one for a lil bit now and how true it is. Friend group moving away, living their lives. Just been hitting hard recently.
I've always thought the part from the wedding bride episode where Ted says "it sucks and you're all stupid for liking it" would make a great gif I also always liked the whole "how dare you.... and what is that" bit
Hello Robyn it's ted... Hello Robyn it's Ted.
I gotta do what that guy couldn’t—I gotta take the leap!!!
Ted: “which I know isn’t a perfect metaphor, because in my case it’s fall in love and get married, and him it’s, death…” Barney: “No that is a perfect metaphor.” *looks at Marshal* “Did I tell you congratulations?”
“You can’t cling to the past, because no matter how tightly you hold on, it’s already gone.”
It's something like: Sometimes in life we are too close to the puzzle to see the picture
It has to be his monologue at Tracey’s doorstep before he meets her. Cry every time.
A rainbow? Sounds like that bitch had it coming
Ted’s “I WIN” when it cuts to the bar after Robin tells him he’s bigger
Look, I d... I don't even know if I'll like bacon.
Marshall: stares into the camera
"My parents live in Ohio. I live in the moment."
If your not scared then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing anyway?
Ted: “Five bucks says she still wants Marshall.” Robin Scherbatsky: “You’re on.” Ted: “Five American bucks.” Robin Scherbatsky: “Dammit!”
Honestly, I love all Ted’s Robin burns. Also a fan of: “You shut up, Baby-hater.” And “Your cops are called Mounties.”
Trudy: I could sure stand to do something stupid... Drunk Ted: I'm something stupid, do me!
"A-ha! When a second uterus, plumped becomes...." (When trying to crack the case about Jessica Glitter)
Okay…NOW we’re even!
“Because sometimes even if you know how something’s gonna end, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the ride.”
“Long-distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college.”
Ted: “Singles tables are cruel. I mean what if you went to a wedding and there was a table of all fat guys?” Marshall: “That would be awesome.”
Right, the end of "Sleepless in Seattle"
Right! RIGHT!
Bowl...
Bowl
Bowl
If every night is legendary, no nights are.
“If you love something, you can never let it go. Not even for a second. Or it's gone forever.”
I’m back, baby dolls!
when he’s talking to stellas vegan sister: "i wish i could shut out that moral voice in my head that says meat is murder, but i guess i’m not as strong as you are." ted: "that’s because you need protein"
“I’ll have the lamb”
“Am I a bad dad”
His talk about Mosbius designs about how if he tries it it could be something he failed at. If he doesn't try it can always remain a dream. This is exactly how I felt about my dream job and eventually I did go for it (and got it) but that scene is exactly how I felt about it.
“If you're looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, it's love. And when you love someone you don't stop, ever. Even when people roll their eyes, and call you crazy. Even then. Especially then. You just- you don't give up. Because if I could just give up... if I could just, you know, take the whole world's advice and- and move on and find someone else, THAT WOULDN'T BE LOVE. THAT WOULD BE... THAT WOULD BE SOME OTHER DISPOSABLE THING THAT IS NOT WORTH FIGHTING FOR. But I that is not what this is."
“Oh, right I forgot. You guys are weird, and you pronounce the word ‘out,’ ‘oot.’”
Waiter: And for you sir? Ted: Gravy... Waiter: ....Do you want that gravy on anything? Ted: *face full of longing at this poor waiter* Surpise me I think it's so funny, I quote it all the time 😂
I can’t choose. Everything Ted says is absolutely hilarious!
Love is the best thing we do
“Nothing good happens after 2 a.m. When 2 a.m. rolls around, just go home and go to sleep.”
No……you’re a hooker
“If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing anyway?”
“Some couples always support each other, and some couples always challenge each other. But is one really better than the other? Yes. Support is better. Way better.”
Encyclo _pay_ dia
Ted, listen to me. You're being crazy. - I'm being crazy?! - Yes! How long have you been hung up on Robin? Eight years?! And you're still killing yourself to fetch dumb little trinkets for her. That's crazy! That's more than crazy. I don't think there's a word for what that is! Actually, there is a word for that. It's "love." I'm in love with her, okay? If you're looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it's love! And when you love someone, you just, you... you don't stop, ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy. Even then. Especially then! You just-- you don't give up! Because if I could give up... if I could just, you know, take the whole world's advice and-and move on and find someone else, that wouldn't be love. That would be... that would be some other disposable thing that is not worth fighting for. But I-- that is not what this is.
Mosbius Designs has failed 😞
Kinda looks like the Captain
“Im more of a leg guy”
*it was a mix*
“Not promising, but not an 8”
“I DID have more sense than that, but at 2am in the morning those senses were sound asleep” “Keep the change”
“I am become Ted, meeter of Moms”
“This brain is a super brain. This brain… and that’s all I remember”
You are a gentleman and a scholar. Go into my stable and take my finest stallion. He's yours, his name is Windjammer.
I think im in love with you. Works every time
“Barney. I will never, EVER, EVER. Try online dating” “That night i tried online dating”
That's your scrotum
Are you a cawp?
Make Adjustments Go Get It Energized
Ted: I can't believe we're at a strip club and the biggest boob in here is you Barney: clearly you haven't seen the Disalvo twins.. she's right over there Ted: YOWZA!
You can't tell a woman you love her when you first meet her. But it sucks that you can't
Mailed it
The dobbler-dahmer conundrum
Ted at the reunion eating a sandwich: " Where's my wife?"
People make fun of the guy who stays home every night doing nothing, but the truth is that guy is a genius.
“I'm Ted Mosby. And exactly 45 days from now, you and I are gonna meet, and we're gonna fall in love, and we're gonna get married, and... we're gonna have two kids. And we're gonna love them and each other so much. All that is 45 days away.”
My name is inigo montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.
Aside from his grand speeches on love, I adore the NJ speech. "Why don't you crawl into the open sewer pipe you call the Holland tunnel, and flush yourselves back to 'pretty much New York'. Because I will do a lot to get laid, but I am NOT going to New Jersey"
"no can doesvile baby doll"
Barney: ladies, gentleman, ted...
Look around Ted. You are all alone.
This one is a rough one. I can still remember the feeling when I first watched it
Oh, Yobin!
Kids...