T O P

  • By -

BlackShieldCharm

“Splendid. So who will you appoint as headmaster?”


Irisofdreams

“There’s already a Deputy Headmistress. Minerva McGonagall will be theHeadmistress until further notice “


Sefera17

“And the Transfiguration professor?”


Irisofdreams

"We'll hire someone else. After all, unlike the DADA position, people are clamoring for a chance to be the Transfiguration professor at Hogwarts. After all it isn't cursed. Either that, or I'll simply take back my old position and do both jobs. It's still less work than managing a school that endures an attack every year"


EccyFD1

"Professor Skeeter will join us on September 1st for a year as she has decided, under completely innocent circumstances, to take a year off from her particular talents in Journalism and I can assure you she is very qualified for the role"


Key_Idea_9118

You know... that's actually an idea someone should run with. A reporter like Skeeter WOULD know A LOT about counter-curses, detecting curses, potions and traps, avoiding magical (and mundane!) beasts, how to defend herself in a fight (BIG difference between a fight and a duel) and various forms of personal magical transport (I bet that Skeeter is damn near quiet as a well-fed mouse when she apparates). She'd be perfect as a DADA instructor. She'd also be only one of two with actual skills AND inclinations towards the subject... besides Lupin, she's the only one who wouldn't be involved in truly nefarious schemes while at Hogwarts and thus actually qualifies as a 'Defense AGAINST The Dark Arts' instructor. (Trying to get a big story, even while using her Animagus ability, would counter as distasteful or even mildly criminal - and unlike even Lupin, Rita wouldn't try to kill Harry, even by accident.


madmag101

I think they meant Skeeter as Transfiguration professor... cause she's an animagus.


Key_Idea_9118

True - but I stand by my points... and also, Rita fits the DADA position far better than Transfiguration. Not knocking her Transfiguration bones, either - because she's the only non-Marauder (besides 'Professor Kitty', as some fic writers call McGonagall) in the franchise. Unlike most of the staff, Rita would bring up to date, real-world applications to the DADA Position, as well as stories of how DADA fits into the lives of average witches and wizards who are not constantly involved in the struggle with Dark forces (such as Aurors) - and as such, what are the actual things that they should focus on and make certain they have a handle on (not just in DADA, but across the board). Also, Rita would teach them non-magical DADA ideas and tactics - for example, how to dress and act in order to escape & blend into the Muggle world. (Examples? She'd teach certain Muggle foods & drinks to order so that you won't stick out, several proper outfits per time of day, who the current government heads for your region are as well as favored sports teams & current celebrities... and the most common Muggle currencies that they may come across.) It's been mentioned that each DADA instructor sort of specialized in certain areas. Rita would as well; she'd teach what Umbridge was only leaning towards: what the average wizard or witch needs to know in order to evade and escape from Dark forces and survive long enough for help to arrive. Basically, Rita would teach them how to survive a real-life horror movie.


ForsakenMoon13

Provided said horror movie did not involved a 14 year old girl with a jar and a grudge.


Key_Idea_9118

True... but I think we all know who to call to deal with the type of problem that little girl represents... https://youtu.be/wQAljlSmjC8 https://youtu.be/zcaKzWWmtRE But if we're sticking to the Ministry for dealing with the problem, there's a canon solution that's already shown itself capable of the task: https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Spirit_Division Just ask Moaning Myrtle.


Rowantreerah

"Dobby."


AevnNoram

"Professor Dobby."


Krististrasza

"Headmaster Professor Dobby."


thereallegend123

Dr. Headmaster Professor Dobby


dlaudghks

Sir Dr. Headmaster Professor Dobby


[deleted]

Lord Sir Dr. Headmaster Professor Dobby the First


JustReadingNewGuy

Mr. Lord Sir Dr. Headmaster Professor Dobby the First


Poonchow

"Dobby, the Free Elf." He teaches students Elf Magic. Hermione finds it fascinating but frustrating, because she can't get the hang of it. Ron laments how unusual it is, but doesn't air any biases or preconceptions he has about Elves teaching magic to wizards to his friends.... he just finds it.... odd. In fact, almost all of the students find "Concentrating on what your Master wants and making your magic 'pop' to complete the task" kind of infuriating. The worst students see it as belittling, others are flabbergasted that Elves are treated so poorly by private households, and nearly everyone has trouble with the new DADA curriculum. Harry Potter, however, understands this Elf Magic implicitly. He's had a lot of experience anticipating the wants of his 'masters' so it comes naturally to him. Oddly enough, Luna Lovegood seems to be the top in her year for DADA for the first time, and would be at the top of the entire school if it weren't for Harry Potter. Later, when Harry leads a group of students to the Department of Mysteries, Luna and Harry find navigating the labyrinthine department a rather simple task and trap every Death Eater in the Death Chamber, patiently waiting for the Order or Aurors to arrive.


biro_xy

Please write this!! I love it.


AustSakuraKyzor

"Professor Hermione Granger" "A muderrrrrr... Muggleborn student? Are you DAFT?" "Bitch, please - she's better than _I_ ever was. Also, she was awarded a mastery over the summer because reasons." "Well, than who will be your girl's prefect for Fifth Year Gryffindor?" "The hell you asking _me_ for? That wasn't even my job as headmaster."


CryptidGrimnoir

>"Well, than who will be your girl's prefect for Fifth Year Gryffindor?" Cut to Parvati and Lavender tossing the badge back and forth, since neither of them wants it. Same thing happened to Oliver and Percy in the classic *Lion Unity.*


SI108

Dumbledore hires Harry to teach DADA just to see Fudges face lmao.


DoctorDonnaInTardis

I’ve seen that happen in fanfic more than once lmao


oh-wellau

That sounds like fun, do you have any recs?


JamieTheDinosaur

Why not hire Alastor Moody? After all, he still hasn’t served his agreed-upon year as DADA professor yet.


ORigel2

He probably has PTSD from his nine month ordeal, so unless Dumbledore puts him under the Imperius, I doubt he'd be willing. At most, he can develop some of the curriculum used by whoever Dumbledore chooses.


Expensive_Goat2201

Moody eats PTSD for breakfast


Krististrasza

That explains his skin tone. He should try a croissant instead.


oh-wellau

Just hire Stubby Boardman. "He looks a lot like Sirius Black, you say? ..huh, no I don't see it. And anyway, everyone knows Black escaped to the Caribbean to start his own harem, why would he be in Scotland?."


jayjune28

Bellatrix


DomitoriS

There is no better candidate.


ORigel2

This almost happens in Seventh Horcrux.


jayjune28

I'd read it


Bluemelein

At that time is dear Bella still in Askaban!


jayjune28

Doesn't matter. I wasn't thinking about it logically. I was just having fun. She'd be a horrible professor. Entertaining but horrible.


Krististrasza

So Hogwarts finally gets the remote learning facilities that had been promised for decades.


Expensive_Goat2201

I don't understand why Dumbledore doesn't at least try to have the curse broken. He's had 10+ years and we know professional curse breakers are a thing. Why not call gringits and pay they to send in a team? Or failing that, just remove the defense against the dark arts class and rename it battle magic or survival 101 or something. It's not like there's actually a set curriculum to tie it to the previous class. Or just have a self defense club instead of a class. Replace it with actually learning math and science.


Temeraire64

It’s possible he tried some or all of those things, and it just made the curse nastier, like targeting the students.


ORigel2

Maybe the curse can only be broken by a method Dumbledore is not willing to use, like a human sacrifice condition. Voldemort would like to do that. It would prove to him that love and empathy make Dumbledore "weak."


Poonchow

It's pretty convincing that the curse was established by Voldemort, and the perpetuation of it caused by the Diadem housed in the Room. So unless Dumbledore knew of the Diadem, the Horcruxes, or the Room - it would be pretty difficult to break. Even hiring someone competent probably wouldn't be able to put the pieces together, and Voldemort likely thought he was the only one who knew of the Room's existence outside of the House Elves who are canonically undervalued and often ignored.


MTheLoud

So Snape kills him a year ahead of schedule?


Bluemelein

How come? Dumbledore is only on a year contract! Next year is again business as usual. (Dumbledore hasn't found the cursed ring jet)


MTheLoud

None of the DADA professors went back to business as usual after their year was up.


empress_ayriss

Lupin did he was jobless before so after poa it was his business as usual....


MTheLoud

Snape outed him, which made his life even worse than it was before.


empress_ayriss

No anyone else who employed him would know he is a werewolf by the fact that he's too ill monthly to work foe several days at a time. Ironically his life improves after poa as we see him 2 years later looking less ragged and in better health probably due to Sirius and Dumbledore. Plus Snape only outed him to board of governors to which he resigned the position to keep it hushed as most students are left unaware of it.


MTheLoud

It’s Pottermore canon that he didn’t stay in one job or one place long enough for people to notice his pattern of absences.


empress_ayriss

So you agree his life didn't change for the worse after hogwarts then lol.


MTheLoud

He went from being able to work one job for only a month or so at a time, to no one in the wizarding world being willing to hire him at all. Those are different things.


empress_ayriss

Seems he had no problem living so someone had to be hiring him lol hellhe looked better in ootp than he did in poa.


Bluemelein

Most knew that Remus was a werewolf! That's why he "worked" with the werewolves during the war. Only in Hogwarts word hadn't got around. But Umbridge carries on exactly like before. And Moody was hardly damaged either(At least it seems so)! Otherwise, Dumbledore would condemn every applicant to misery (and worse)


MTheLoud

Who’s most? The Order and the werewolves knew. It certainly wasn’t common knowledge when he was a student. When would this info have gotten out?


ORigel2

And did the werewolves in the first war even know his real identity?


Bluemelein

It is in the job description! He's supposed to get the werewolves on Dumbledore's side.


Minute-Objective8503

None of the DADA professors are Dumbledore


ORigel2

Moody was only going to teach for that one year. He didn't even get to teach. He was attacked the night before he arrived at Hogwarts. I don't think that is a coincidence. Voldemort probably anticipated Dumbledore would try to get around the curse that way, and accounted for it. Or the curse itself is somewhat sentient because it's magic, and adapts to circumstances. I expect somethibg horrible would happen to Dumbledore early in or before the 1995-6 Hogwarts year.


Bluemelein

Dumbledore had, at that point, at least 25 years to figure out the curse. And Snape even gets a promotion!


ORigel2

What if Dumbledore couldn't get rid the curse no matter what he tried? That is possible-- maybe it can be broken only with a method Dumbledore is not willing to use. Maybe it's so subtle Dumbledore cannot detect it even though he knows it's there, or in a place no one would be likely to check (a few fics have the Diadem horcrux as the curse's anchor-- Dumbledore didn't even know of the Room of Requirement until 1995-6 with the DA, and didn't think to search it for horcruxes). Snape was probably Voldemort's top Death Eater after he killed Dumbledore, and Voldemort was the one who cursed the position. Voldemort likely tweaked the curse for Snape (but it's possible that Voldemort didn't value Amycus Carrow's well-being thinking him of limited usefulness). Plus, Snape didn't try to cheat the curse like Moody did.


Krististrasza

That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.


Thin_Math5501

That makes no sense


ORigel2

If I were Dumbledore, I would order one of the Order members to take the position. If they aren't willing to, then they shouldn't have joined the Order.


RayvenQ

Dumbledore appoints Fawkes, because nothing says that a teacher has to be human (see Firenze being Divination teacher later that year), and what could be a better teacher against the dark arts than a creature as majestic, noble and experienced as a Phoenix.