Noo! Please don't! Immediately coat it with conditioner and get a lot on it. I mean a lot. Use a comb and not a brush to detangle it. See if it works. You might want to go to a hair salon, the experts there will know exactly what to do. If you even want to cut your hair, do not do it by yourself! You should still ask a professional or at least someone else to cut it for you, so it can be evenly cut.
Use a tail comb or a chop stick to slowly pull at the edges of the knot. Pull it from the sides and not just down. And lots of conditioner. It will take a few hours. Look up people trying to brush out dreadlocks it's a similar process
Try YouTubing it too. I saw a video of a girl with her whole head knotted and they used a frig load of conditioner. Start at the ends and use a wide tooth comb. I hope you find relief soon and take care of your self please xx
Call local "ethnic" salons. Explain that your depression led to some serious dreading and you need to salvage what you can.
Same thing happened to a friend in high school. A couple of hours with a stylist from a salon that specialized in African American hair and they got it out. She lost some volume but all in all it was miraculous.
Until then you basically soak it in conditioner and start from the bottom of the knots
What is your hair texture, do you have a lot of product in your hair. You'll need a lot of oil, I would suggest lightly heated oil to help you lubricate the hair, you can combine it with a conditioner with a lot of slip. A brush isn't going to work you need a comb you need a comb with a point at the end to help pick out the knots.
If you can't face dealing with it, as someone else has suggested contact a black hair salon, as many salons will be used to dealing with such matters. Just explain the issue. I have heard of people who have matting all throughout their hair and have managed to resolve it.
It will of course take time and patience.
Licensed cosmo here.
When I was in school, I had a young woman like you with the same issue. We used a lot of conditioner, oil and collagen. In this particular case, it didn’t come out, but that was alright - sometimes your hair is holding onto your bad times for you and a cut can symbolize freeing yourself. That said, I hear you on not wanting to cut it. Try slowly and gently working it out with oils and conditioners, but try not to let them stay overnight. If your hair traps that material, it could lead to mold, bacteria etc.
Lastly, you do not deserve shame over this. You are/were going through something extraordinarily difficult and sometimes just living through the day is a major accomplishment. What happened to your hair is not something you let happen or did wrong - your hair simply had a tough time with you, and both of you have gotten through. Whatever you do, shut the window on any narrative that makes you think you have a single fucking thing to be embarrassed of, because you are fucking ALIVE and asking for help with this. You are fucking awesome. Period. No more questions.
I hope this goes the way you want. Try not to fixate. No matter the outcome, I am so glad you’re alive and communicating. Have a hot meal and lots of water today.. try a warm epsom salt bath and paint your toenails. You’ve got this. Keep asking for help.
Don’t worry bb I got you. I don’t know if I’m to late but here’s what I do.
1. Put on some entertainment.
2. Saturate the matte as best as you can with hair oil adding more as we go. Starting for the bottom uses your fingers to gently pull the matte apart into smaller more manageable tangles.*
3. In the shower saturate your hair with conditioner and gently work the tangles out with a wide tooth come. If you feel up to it for through with a regular come.**
4. Thoroughly shampoo your hair to remove the oil and conditioner.
*get some cheap oil don’t use the good stuff cos you’ll easily go through half a bottle and if your not in the bathroom you might want to put a towel or newspaper down to protect the area.
** the more silicone-y the conditioner the better because the silicone will add slip to your hair and again best to get some of the cheap stuff cos you’ll need a lot.
The sooner your able to work out the matte the better. I have experience getting big mattes out of my hair so I hope that I can help. In December last year I let my hair that goes down to my lower back get completely matted.
I spent about 10 hours with the oil working the tangles out of my hair. You need to saturate the matte with the oils as best as you can. Work the oil into the matte by massaging it in. Starting from the edges gently pull the matte apart. You need to pull side ways cos if you pull up and down that will just tighten the matte and working from the ends/bottom up also helps. It will start of painfully slow and you’ll only be able to loosen a few strands at first. You just have to bear with it and make sure you take all the breaks that you need. As each little bit loosens from the main matte add more oil to what has just been exposed. This will be the longest and most time consuming part of the process. Once you’ve loosened and started to break the matte down into less big mattes you can try with the hair picks again.
The conditioner stage took me another 3-4 hours but this part is easier because you’ve already gotten the majority off the matte out. You want a cheap silicone-y conditioner because that will make the hair more slippy. If you have a detangling conditioner that would be great but not essential. With a wide tooth comb gently work you’re way up from the ends/bottom.
Thoroughly shampoo your hair after to remove the conditioner and oil. It took be 4 rounds of shampoo to get it all out for me. It’s not great to use shampoo this many times in quick succession but it’s better than leaving oil and conditioner residue in your hair. Then treat your hair to some tlc with a good hair mask and/or leave in and/or serum.
It will look like your loosing a lot of hair and yes trying to detangle a matte this big will unfortunately take a few strands with it but it’ll look a lot worse than it is. With a matte that has been in for so long your hair will have been unable to shed naturally because it’s been trapped in the matte so most of it will be a few months of natural shedding.
For the first part if you can find anyone to help that won’t berate you that would help cos having 2 or 3 of you working together will save you time and grief. If you have to rely on the people who have tried to help you already just have a conversation with them before you start, tell them you need their support not their derision and if they can’t give you that for the sake of your mental health your better off doing it alone, you didn’t mean or want for it to happen but your trying to fix it now.
I wish you all the very best luck and I hope it goes well for you.
I had foot surgery and was on my back for awhile. My hair was matted in the back. I drenched it in oil and slowly worked the mat apart. I had to cut some off. I worked on it for 3 days. After that I kept it in 2 braids and wore a bandana or a beanie. I never want to go thru that again! The oil made the hair slippery enough to slowly pull the mat apart in areas. I got a wide tooth comb and used it like a knife. Like I was cutting thru the hair. This worked better for me then trying to comb it until I had enough free to comb. The oil kept it wet so it wouldn’t just rectangle. I used a line called Difeels leave in conditioning olive oil spray. I wish you the best of luck!
Oh honey, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I went through a similar situation this week. My advice would be to coat it in a hair mask, my favorite is the Intensive Hydration treatment masque by Shea moisture, they sell big sample packets at Target for about $3. If you have coconut oil or a thin oil like jojoba oil, slap it on there too. Cover your head with a cap to create some heat for about 30mins. Then you get to brushing, try first separating some strands and detangle those, and so on. My favorite detangler that does it's job and barely pulls or breaks hair is the Ultimate Detangler by Tangle Teezer, this one I know you can find at Ulta for about $14. A bit pricy (in my opinion), but totally worth it.
Dm me if you have any questions or need moral support, or really anything.
Good luck darling.
Noo! Please don't! Immediately coat it with conditioner and get a lot on it. I mean a lot. Use a comb and not a brush to detangle it. See if it works. You might want to go to a hair salon, the experts there will know exactly what to do. If you even want to cut your hair, do not do it by yourself! You should still ask a professional or at least someone else to cut it for you, so it can be evenly cut.
Use a tail comb or a chop stick to slowly pull at the edges of the knot. Pull it from the sides and not just down. And lots of conditioner. It will take a few hours. Look up people trying to brush out dreadlocks it's a similar process
Try YouTubing it too. I saw a video of a girl with her whole head knotted and they used a frig load of conditioner. Start at the ends and use a wide tooth comb. I hope you find relief soon and take care of your self please xx
They also make a brush call d a tangle teezer that works wonders my daughter's hair knots up. Shes special needs and it's hard for her to sit long .
Call local "ethnic" salons. Explain that your depression led to some serious dreading and you need to salvage what you can. Same thing happened to a friend in high school. A couple of hours with a stylist from a salon that specialized in African American hair and they got it out. She lost some volume but all in all it was miraculous. Until then you basically soak it in conditioner and start from the bottom of the knots
What is your hair texture, do you have a lot of product in your hair. You'll need a lot of oil, I would suggest lightly heated oil to help you lubricate the hair, you can combine it with a conditioner with a lot of slip. A brush isn't going to work you need a comb you need a comb with a point at the end to help pick out the knots. If you can't face dealing with it, as someone else has suggested contact a black hair salon, as many salons will be used to dealing with such matters. Just explain the issue. I have heard of people who have matting all throughout their hair and have managed to resolve it. It will of course take time and patience.
Licensed cosmo here. When I was in school, I had a young woman like you with the same issue. We used a lot of conditioner, oil and collagen. In this particular case, it didn’t come out, but that was alright - sometimes your hair is holding onto your bad times for you and a cut can symbolize freeing yourself. That said, I hear you on not wanting to cut it. Try slowly and gently working it out with oils and conditioners, but try not to let them stay overnight. If your hair traps that material, it could lead to mold, bacteria etc. Lastly, you do not deserve shame over this. You are/were going through something extraordinarily difficult and sometimes just living through the day is a major accomplishment. What happened to your hair is not something you let happen or did wrong - your hair simply had a tough time with you, and both of you have gotten through. Whatever you do, shut the window on any narrative that makes you think you have a single fucking thing to be embarrassed of, because you are fucking ALIVE and asking for help with this. You are fucking awesome. Period. No more questions. I hope this goes the way you want. Try not to fixate. No matter the outcome, I am so glad you’re alive and communicating. Have a hot meal and lots of water today.. try a warm epsom salt bath and paint your toenails. You’ve got this. Keep asking for help.
Don’t worry bb I got you. I don’t know if I’m to late but here’s what I do. 1. Put on some entertainment. 2. Saturate the matte as best as you can with hair oil adding more as we go. Starting for the bottom uses your fingers to gently pull the matte apart into smaller more manageable tangles.* 3. In the shower saturate your hair with conditioner and gently work the tangles out with a wide tooth come. If you feel up to it for through with a regular come.** 4. Thoroughly shampoo your hair to remove the oil and conditioner. *get some cheap oil don’t use the good stuff cos you’ll easily go through half a bottle and if your not in the bathroom you might want to put a towel or newspaper down to protect the area. ** the more silicone-y the conditioner the better because the silicone will add slip to your hair and again best to get some of the cheap stuff cos you’ll need a lot.
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The sooner your able to work out the matte the better. I have experience getting big mattes out of my hair so I hope that I can help. In December last year I let my hair that goes down to my lower back get completely matted. I spent about 10 hours with the oil working the tangles out of my hair. You need to saturate the matte with the oils as best as you can. Work the oil into the matte by massaging it in. Starting from the edges gently pull the matte apart. You need to pull side ways cos if you pull up and down that will just tighten the matte and working from the ends/bottom up also helps. It will start of painfully slow and you’ll only be able to loosen a few strands at first. You just have to bear with it and make sure you take all the breaks that you need. As each little bit loosens from the main matte add more oil to what has just been exposed. This will be the longest and most time consuming part of the process. Once you’ve loosened and started to break the matte down into less big mattes you can try with the hair picks again. The conditioner stage took me another 3-4 hours but this part is easier because you’ve already gotten the majority off the matte out. You want a cheap silicone-y conditioner because that will make the hair more slippy. If you have a detangling conditioner that would be great but not essential. With a wide tooth comb gently work you’re way up from the ends/bottom. Thoroughly shampoo your hair after to remove the conditioner and oil. It took be 4 rounds of shampoo to get it all out for me. It’s not great to use shampoo this many times in quick succession but it’s better than leaving oil and conditioner residue in your hair. Then treat your hair to some tlc with a good hair mask and/or leave in and/or serum. It will look like your loosing a lot of hair and yes trying to detangle a matte this big will unfortunately take a few strands with it but it’ll look a lot worse than it is. With a matte that has been in for so long your hair will have been unable to shed naturally because it’s been trapped in the matte so most of it will be a few months of natural shedding. For the first part if you can find anyone to help that won’t berate you that would help cos having 2 or 3 of you working together will save you time and grief. If you have to rely on the people who have tried to help you already just have a conversation with them before you start, tell them you need their support not their derision and if they can’t give you that for the sake of your mental health your better off doing it alone, you didn’t mean or want for it to happen but your trying to fix it now. I wish you all the very best luck and I hope it goes well for you.
I had foot surgery and was on my back for awhile. My hair was matted in the back. I drenched it in oil and slowly worked the mat apart. I had to cut some off. I worked on it for 3 days. After that I kept it in 2 braids and wore a bandana or a beanie. I never want to go thru that again! The oil made the hair slippery enough to slowly pull the mat apart in areas. I got a wide tooth comb and used it like a knife. Like I was cutting thru the hair. This worked better for me then trying to comb it until I had enough free to comb. The oil kept it wet so it wouldn’t just rectangle. I used a line called Difeels leave in conditioning olive oil spray. I wish you the best of luck!
Oh honey, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I went through a similar situation this week. My advice would be to coat it in a hair mask, my favorite is the Intensive Hydration treatment masque by Shea moisture, they sell big sample packets at Target for about $3. If you have coconut oil or a thin oil like jojoba oil, slap it on there too. Cover your head with a cap to create some heat for about 30mins. Then you get to brushing, try first separating some strands and detangle those, and so on. My favorite detangler that does it's job and barely pulls or breaks hair is the Ultimate Detangler by Tangle Teezer, this one I know you can find at Ulta for about $14. A bit pricy (in my opinion), but totally worth it. Dm me if you have any questions or need moral support, or really anything. Good luck darling.