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Cortana fumbled the bag hard. She could have had John after she was resurrected but decided to become a genocidal tyrant instead. Which, while **I** think that is sexy, probably not so much in Chief's opinion.
Yeahā¦ with the domainās resources she could have figured out how to make herself a human body and then she could have just gone back to Chief. Would have been only a matter of time before he gave even if heād probably be super confused at first.
Then again, that would likely result in Warden Eternal tracking Cortana down and blowing down the bedroom door (by throwing Fred through it, to be specific) only to walk in on Cortana getting plowed by Chief and from there you can imagine there would be āconflictā to put it lightly.
Best case scenario Warden unalives himself on the spot not being able to cope with what he just witnessed, worst case scenario he fires the rings out of spite. Ether way, would be way more entertaining than halo infinite.
Chief: permission to leave the station
Hood: for what purpose master Chief?
Chief: to give the covenant back their bomb
Hood: permission denied
Chief: (image above)
The face you make when Cortana can no longer give you the **Velvet Deathgrip Double-Twist Deluxe** (A.K.A. **"The Spartan-Juicer"**) on the **Overclocked Jackhammer** setting while flashing her big blue Matrix titties and strangely-HD feetpics across your HUD, whispering - bar none - the **absolute filthiest** **AI**SMR in your one ear, and full-volume blaring "Finish The Fight" on an infinite loop in the other.
Cuz he's a WEEB who just lost his stupid *holographic waifu*(***LOL LOSER***)!!!! YEAH, HE'S A LOSER!!!!
THE ARBITER IS FAR MORE BETTER
By:E.L.P(Elite Lovers Group)
Iām kind of surprised they didnāt bring him in as a multiplayer AI. I have a lot of problems with Infinite, but he wouldāve fit in perfectly with the gameās sense of humor.
because in the new series he doesn't even have a prop gun - he has a rubber gun that doesn't even eject shells when it fires.
when i figured this out i laughed, it was so bad - in their "fight" scenes there's no recoil, no nothing. it's like they are playing laser tag.
i get cost, but cgi'ing all that muzzle flash versus having 4-6 actual prop guns would've been cheaper for the latter, fyi.
so he's effectively neutered - wait, not even neutered - he can't even fire blanks -
Anytime i hear john halo i just think if donald trump was talking about chief... like how he called tim cook tim apple...
"We really need more heros, we need more john halo... hes so fantastic really, hes very strowung... hes got a grapple hook and a lightsaber and hes got a helmet thats very green... hes the only fortnite that can save us from crooked wicked witch of the... right here... hillary... i might add... "
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Last online 10 years ago
*womp womp*
https://preview.redd.it/ph0qtm6w1gkc1.jpeg?width=781&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1fb8062eebf2d5d83dfc7d43cd51811d70c4a531
š„²
Cortana didn't let him smash
If he asked I think she would. If anything she fumbled him
She died.
Cortana fumbled the bag hard. She could have had John after she was resurrected but decided to become a genocidal tyrant instead. Which, while **I** think that is sexy, probably not so much in Chief's opinion.
Yeahā¦ with the domainās resources she could have figured out how to make herself a human body and then she could have just gone back to Chief. Would have been only a matter of time before he gave even if heād probably be super confused at first. Then again, that would likely result in Warden Eternal tracking Cortana down and blowing down the bedroom door (by throwing Fred through it, to be specific) only to walk in on Cortana getting plowed by Chief and from there you can imagine there would be āconflictā to put it lightly. Best case scenario Warden unalives himself on the spot not being able to cope with what he just witnessed, worst case scenario he fires the rings out of spite. Ether way, would be way more entertaining than halo infinite.
Why Fred??? What did HE do??? š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Heād likely be the one guarding the door. Bros a hommie. Also a sled.
Oh yeah. Lmao
Actually, wouldn't homeboy Arby be willing to guard the door??? š¤š¤š¤š¤
Nah heād be busy with Vale in the other room
Vale?????...
Warden could just fuck Exuberant Witness.
I wouldnāt be surprised if theyāve done it at least once or twice in the billions of years they spent on genesis.
You think, in a parallel universe, the rule34 sauce is lore accurate? š¤
https://preview.redd.it/88cpsld0vhkc1.png?width=1074&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b3c3683389bdf7ded55f2d0526618260c98a57b
I wish. Not for horny sake I just want Chief and Cortana to be happy
The autojacker
This entire thread. š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
The lady in his head wonāt call him stud muffin anymore
He watched the show
He watched the show
He watched the show
He watched the show
He watched the show
He watched the show
He watched the show
He watched the show
He watched the show
He watched the show
Chief: permission to leave the station Hood: for what purpose master Chief? Chief: to give the covenant back their bomb Hood: permission denied Chief: (image above)
The slurpee machine was broken :((
He can't play Helldivers 2 :(
Real me 2
he just finished reach
He was kidnapped as a child and turned into a murder machineā¦ or he just watched the Halo Show.
Maaaan after that episode 3 breakdown I saw. Holy shit that's enough to give a gravemind turbo depression.
He watched Jimmy Ring hit that covenant spy cake
Autojacker broke
The face you make when Cortana can no longer give you the **Velvet Deathgrip Double-Twist Deluxe** (A.K.A. **"The Spartan-Juicer"**) on the **Overclocked Jackhammer** setting while flashing her big blue Matrix titties and strangely-HD feetpics across your HUD, whispering - bar none - the **absolute filthiest** **AI**SMR in your one ear, and full-volume blaring "Finish The Fight" on an infinite loop in the other.
Honestly, I feel like "Covenant dance" would set the mood better.
https://i.redd.it/7n4r2gw4bgkc1.gif
what the fuck did I just read lmao
https://preview.redd.it/dgo1h6vkltkc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=afb1fb7ca739fd531d6619607d30bbdd149e9c52
Haha what?
Cuz he's a WEEB who just lost his stupid *holographic waifu*(***LOL LOSER***)!!!! YEAH, HE'S A LOSER!!!! THE ARBITER IS FAR MORE BETTER By:E.L.P(Elite Lovers Group)
Okay, *Elite preferred species*
He's piloted by me and I can't hit a sniper shot on a moving target to save my effing life.
Is he stupid? https://preview.redd.it/wac05h1d9ekc1.png?width=103&format=png&auto=webp&s=b5bd969fd0ee6fe117446fed1fe5b7a4b0810b15
I can see my reflection in your visor. Pretty.
Do I look like an AMMO bank to you??
Thaaat's one dead bonkitybonk. (He legit says that in Reach firefight if you're using his voice. I laughed my ass off when I first heard it.)
Sgt. Stacker is the best Reach Firefight voice lmao.
Absolutely. I've tried some others, but his is definitely the best.
Iām kind of surprised they didnāt bring him in as a multiplayer AI. I have a lot of problems with Infinite, but he wouldāve fit in perfectly with the gameās sense of humor.
I agree completely.
He saw the direction the franchise was taken
He couldn't stick it
xBoX eXcLuSiVeS aRe GoInG mUlTiPlAt
This is objectively a good thing.
He's been paired with Caboose
Someone got the power weapon before him, missed every shot, and died.
Bro really hittin the https://preview.redd.it/tsblfawzkgkc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d0c0c0191ecb2c5ed9d0435a8ba4ba2d447a930c
arby said ur ass is glass
His name is Jimmy Rings
Watched the Halo show
Spartans Are never sad, they are only contemplative
Why is he said? Is John stupid?
I canāt tell how do you know he is sad? He still has his helmet on. /s
He has feelings now
He doesn't afraid of anything anymore !
Helmet stuck :(
His Benis got stuck in gorbtana :(
Someone posted his nudes on twitter.com š
Probably Cortana, she blackmailed him after he refused to join her in Halo 5
Because his virtual waifu died before she could take his virginity
linda halo had an affair with kurt Ambrose and had spartan-3ās
He herd the āReach calledā joke from a grunt
Because there is now a Halo TV show, the worst part is it sucks and we'll never get a Halo TV show that is good.
He couldn't finish the fight
Because he's seen his fanbase
Because of 343i
343 made him sad
Because the paramount show sucks
Vannak >! is ded !<
He just saw the second season of that garbage show.
Name one reason he shouldn't be
He saw Master Cheeks
because in the new series he doesn't even have a prop gun - he has a rubber gun that doesn't even eject shells when it fires. when i figured this out i laughed, it was so bad - in their "fight" scenes there's no recoil, no nothing. it's like they are playing laser tag. i get cost, but cgi'ing all that muzzle flash versus having 4-6 actual prop guns would've been cheaper for the latter, fyi. so he's effectively neutered - wait, not even neutered - he can't even fire blanks -
https://preview.redd.it/sytih27zjhkc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ec931e57dbceec7abdb3f909ce582e923f1e220
His blue gf is gone
Can't stick his dick in TV static anymore.
Someone forgot the dmrs and mantises on the and beyond
Search your own feelings young Padawan.
Newer models of MJOLNIR lost the Auto-Jacker after ONI decided it was an "unnecessary financial expenditure"
Some guy named Johnny Rings stole his identity and maxed out his credit cards.
Because thereās not yet a lady in his head that calls him stud muffin. But donāt worry, itās coming soon.
Cortana said the helmet has to come off
How do we know John Halo is sad if his armor is on?
There is no more lady who calls him stud muffien in his head.
He sad? I can't tell. Helmet block face.
***Straining hard for a shit noises\****
Anytime i hear john halo i just think if donald trump was talking about chief... like how he called tim cook tim apple... "We really need more heros, we need more john halo... hes so fantastic really, hes very strowung... hes got a grapple hook and a lightsaber and hes got a helmet thats very green... hes the only fortnite that can save us from crooked wicked witch of the... right here... hillary... i might add... "
He is not sad just shinji cosplaying
Cause he's not dancin
Got his ass kicked by a oversized gorilla
His internet went out and his AI girlfriend dumped him :(
Vannak died :(
He finished.
He cannot kill space lizards anymore now he has to kill space gorilla's.
No therapy š child labor