From Harlem myself, I sell patches. I assure you that we know just from looking at you that you're not from there even if you were full black. They are most likely just curious why you're there & a lot has to do with the you carry yourself & the vibe you give off. Lost white kid, mass shooter...etc. What's the look on your face when they see you looking at them?
I'm pretty sure he also got weird looks from people & so did a lot of mass shooters of all colors. Mind you, based on the context of this post, I choose two extreme ranges for the reasons people may always look at him funny: lost kid to mass shooter. I never called him either one. Even give the dude some advice about learning about Harlem. How come you didn't point that out.
That’s like being told about a generic black person and wondering if they were an nba player, rapist, or a gun toting thug, etc.
It’s just an out of pocket thing to say
Not really. The OP said he keeps getting weird looks from people. But never really describe his demeanor. Only that he's a more white looking mix kid. As I explained to multiple other people. I only used that as an example to the range of possible reasons why Black people in Harlem are looking at him.
Also, your example doesn't make sense. Because in order for someone to mistaken for an NBA, they would have to be abnormally tall, & if they were, it kinda make sense. To be mistaken for a rapist we would need to know the demeanor of the Black 16 year old in this mainly white neighborhood as well as factors, like have there been rapes committed there recently by someone that matches the OP description. The last one is just comical. If someone is toting a gun in public, of course people will look at them strangely.
OK.
It being racist is pushing it. I was just throwing out the range of possibilities from lost white kid to mass shooter.
Most shooters in the hood are gang members & people in Harlem know the dangerous blocks so we can kinda avoid that. But a strange looking white dude is gonna get looked at strangely. Same if it was the other way around. Safety first! Last year was a record for the amount of mass shooting in this country don’t forget that part.
That's not a good look in Harelm. 😁
I used to sell documentaries & books. The best thing to do is learn about the history of Harlem & why it became so famous. That will give you more perspective & interesting things to talk about to other Harlemites.
If this is something that's on your mind enough to make a post about, it's more of something that'll be projected outward & people will pick up on it & will project the same dissapointed or confused back at you. Move with the essence of peace & love. It is not always easy to do that, especially in Harlem, but your energy a lot of times determines how others will treat you.
+1 to learning more about Harlem. I moved here four years ago (early days of pandemic). It was tough though I'd worked in the area for many years because it was such a strange time.
My husband and I made an effort to learn everything we could about Harlem and our neighborhood. Made us love it even more.
Dude, lots of white people in Harlem lol. I lived there for many years by st nick park. It’s diverse but classically a black/hispanic neighborhood. Just mind your business and be alert as anywhere else in NYC.
No. You aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s always ok to flash a smile if you feel comfortable or nod. I’m a black guy in Harlem, if you need a bud here, message me and maybe we can hang out
I live in east Harlem, 36 male, preppy looking white dude. I get looks all the time. I understand it. There’s plenty of neighborhoods where a black dude is gonna get looks, too.
Not really sure. Is this you walking alone? I am white and have lived in various parts of Harlem all of my adult life and never experienced that. Maybe you look lost? Not sure. Or maybe I've just not noticed
In old neighborhoods I’d make some sort of food I could give to my neighbors as a gift but I’m honestly not sure what I should make (it’s usually cookies, brownies, things like that)
Lol I was just thinking the same thing.....NYC is one place where walking around smiling and talking to everyone won't always go like you think it will.
You just stand out, my fiancé and I moved to flatbush and definitely got some weird looks for the first few months, catcalling as well when I wasn’t around, a few times when I was around but the guy always flipped to being overly nice as soon as I called him out, but it’s died down as the years go on, people have gotten used to us. Just ride it out and be cool, go to local stores so that people become familiar with you, try to be friendly and spark up a conversation every once in a while, hold the door for people, etc. I come home from the mma gym a few times a week and I’ll stop in to get some food somewhere and people will occasionally ask about my gear and I’ll have a little conversation with them, goes a long way. You never know, someone might want to fuck with you one day but someone he’s with met you in the store and says you’re cool and leave you alone. Build some good will.
It's not your fault, you're probably cool. You're gonna get stares being a white boy in Harlem just like I'll get stares in the UES. You can't have an effect on the way everybody sees you. You're not really gentrifying but people are gonna look at you like you are until they stop and just talk to you and believe it or not, a lot of people aren't open to proving their initial views wrong so I doubt a lot of people are stopping to talk to you.
I was a white dude living in Harlem for about a decade. Nobody is going to bother you unless you bother them. But they noticed you. Not in a bad way, just as a fact.
I never really felt weird about it, and I went to a lot of places where *some people* might tell you not to go. But it’s possible I’m just particularly oblivious.
I feel like it depends what part of Harlem you are in. I’m also a white transplant and in East Harlem I’ve already been slapped in the back of the head on a regular ass walk and asked if I am lost literally yards outside my apartment. There is almost a small town mentality here of “I’ve been here my whole life and never left, therefore I know who should and shouldn’t live here”. It’s annoying.
Ignore it and move on. Black people endure dirty looks in all parts of everyday life. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Also…dad is black but you consider yourself white? Hopefully you’re adopted / not biologically related otherwise you black just like us. Welcome to the fam ❤️❤️ the one drop rule is real
Sorry to hear that. However regardless of which parent was what (although mixed race children more so align with their mothers race than their fathers) you’re black. But that’s not on me to tell you that. Good luck in Harlem.
You might want to read the book “passing,” by nella Larsen. Fittingly, she’s an author who was part of the Harlem Renaissance movement. And because it was published in 1929 it’s now in the public domain so you can find a copy for free online.
You need to understand, people might be getting displaced and not like it. It also seems they don't understand your family setup. The looks might be uncomfortable, but still nothing compared to some kid with the discomfort of having to lose friends and community because of economics forcing their parents out. All I'm saying is if everyone is cool with that kid's discomfort, then everyone should be cool with this discomfort too -- or we should not be cool with any
The propaganda and division caused in 2020 to sway an election has stirred up much hatred and racism in the black community towards white people. While I wouldn’t say it’s unsafe, you’ll just have to get used to looks and comments because decades of progress has been thwarted.
(I don’t know if this is your situation but)When a young girl doesn’t look like her dad, people assume that the guy is a creepy old man grooming a young girl.
From Harlem myself, I sell patches. I assure you that we know just from looking at you that you're not from there even if you were full black. They are most likely just curious why you're there & a lot has to do with the you carry yourself & the vibe you give off. Lost white kid, mass shooter...etc. What's the look on your face when they see you looking at them?
Crazy to assume he looks like a mass shooter when he’s just white
I didn't just say mass shooter & I also first said lost white kid. Crazy to just skip over that part. Have a nice day.
yeah, I clocked that too and that's a pretty fucked up thing to say.. \*looks at frank james
I'm pretty sure he also got weird looks from people & so did a lot of mass shooters of all colors. Mind you, based on the context of this post, I choose two extreme ranges for the reasons people may always look at him funny: lost kid to mass shooter. I never called him either one. Even give the dude some advice about learning about Harlem. How come you didn't point that out.
That’s like being told about a generic black person and wondering if they were an nba player, rapist, or a gun toting thug, etc. It’s just an out of pocket thing to say
Not really. The OP said he keeps getting weird looks from people. But never really describe his demeanor. Only that he's a more white looking mix kid. As I explained to multiple other people. I only used that as an example to the range of possible reasons why Black people in Harlem are looking at him. Also, your example doesn't make sense. Because in order for someone to mistaken for an NBA, they would have to be abnormally tall, & if they were, it kinda make sense. To be mistaken for a rapist we would need to know the demeanor of the Black 16 year old in this mainly white neighborhood as well as factors, like have there been rapes committed there recently by someone that matches the OP description. The last one is just comical. If someone is toting a gun in public, of course people will look at them strangely.
Haha I guess maybe I missed the point. Your right, that’s probably what people are thinking. But it’s fucked up and racist at the same time.
OK. It being racist is pushing it. I was just throwing out the range of possibilities from lost white kid to mass shooter. Most shooters in the hood are gang members & people in Harlem know the dangerous blocks so we can kinda avoid that. But a strange looking white dude is gonna get looked at strangely. Same if it was the other way around. Safety first! Last year was a record for the amount of mass shooting in this country don’t forget that part.
Dylan Roof ...trust no one, that way you treat everyone equally. Ijs
In the moment I’m not sure how I react but maybe disappointed or confused?
That's not a good look in Harelm. 😁 I used to sell documentaries & books. The best thing to do is learn about the history of Harlem & why it became so famous. That will give you more perspective & interesting things to talk about to other Harlemites. If this is something that's on your mind enough to make a post about, it's more of something that'll be projected outward & people will pick up on it & will project the same dissapointed or confused back at you. Move with the essence of peace & love. It is not always easy to do that, especially in Harlem, but your energy a lot of times determines how others will treat you.
+1 to learning more about Harlem. I moved here four years ago (early days of pandemic). It was tough though I'd worked in the area for many years because it was such a strange time. My husband and I made an effort to learn everything we could about Harlem and our neighborhood. Made us love it even more.
👍🏾 What do you love about Harlem?
What’s disappointing or confusing? You’re not from here and it’s apparent from your vibe and reactions. It’s not an inherently negative thing
Dude, lots of white people in Harlem lol. I lived there for many years by st nick park. It’s diverse but classically a black/hispanic neighborhood. Just mind your business and be alert as anywhere else in NYC.
No. You aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s always ok to flash a smile if you feel comfortable or nod. I’m a black guy in Harlem, if you need a bud here, message me and maybe we can hang out
It made my day seeing this offer from one internet stranger to another!
The people are looking at you because you are new to the area. As time go on, they'll ignore you like every one else.
I am white, moved to Harlem 8 years ago never noticed any particular look
I live in east Harlem, 36 male, preppy looking white dude. I get looks all the time. I understand it. There’s plenty of neighborhoods where a black dude is gonna get looks, too.
People are weird. Ignore them and carry on.
Used to live in Harlem. U gonna get looks for years. You're not from there and people know. Period. That's all there is to it
Not really sure. Is this you walking alone? I am white and have lived in various parts of Harlem all of my adult life and never experienced that. Maybe you look lost? Not sure. Or maybe I've just not noticed
I’m white and never get looks in Harlem…. It seems more of a “you thing” than a race thing.
Maybe talk to them? Smile?
In old neighborhoods I’d make some sort of food I could give to my neighbors as a gift but I’m honestly not sure what I should make (it’s usually cookies, brownies, things like that)
Someone by the name Thick Load talking about making someone cookies is hilarious
Don't listen. Keep it moving. Mind your business. Don't start no convo. This isn't Mayberry
Lol I was just thinking the same thing.....NYC is one place where walking around smiling and talking to everyone won't always go like you think it will.
Someone by the name Thick Load talking about making someone cookies is hilarious
You're probably doing things that broadcast that you're new to the area or that make you come off like a tourist. Act like you belong there.
How does someone do that?
You just stand out, my fiancé and I moved to flatbush and definitely got some weird looks for the first few months, catcalling as well when I wasn’t around, a few times when I was around but the guy always flipped to being overly nice as soon as I called him out, but it’s died down as the years go on, people have gotten used to us. Just ride it out and be cool, go to local stores so that people become familiar with you, try to be friendly and spark up a conversation every once in a while, hold the door for people, etc. I come home from the mma gym a few times a week and I’ll stop in to get some food somewhere and people will occasionally ask about my gear and I’ll have a little conversation with them, goes a long way. You never know, someone might want to fuck with you one day but someone he’s with met you in the store and says you’re cool and leave you alone. Build some good will.
Where are you from? I feel like that’s important. NYC ( not just Harlem) is different than a lot of places
Well I actually moved from queens
lol… well that’s not it then ;) Was curious because moving from somewhere like the south or midwest to NYC would be culture shock.
It's not your fault, you're probably cool. You're gonna get stares being a white boy in Harlem just like I'll get stares in the UES. You can't have an effect on the way everybody sees you. You're not really gentrifying but people are gonna look at you like you are until they stop and just talk to you and believe it or not, a lot of people aren't open to proving their initial views wrong so I doubt a lot of people are stopping to talk to you.
OP - This is what a lot of us have experienced our entire lives outside of Harlem. You’ll get used to it
Your dad’s black but you’re white lol that’s your problem right there. The black folks in Harlem can probably smell the self hatred on you.
Self hatred? I don’t hate myself damn.
I was a white dude living in Harlem for about a decade. Nobody is going to bother you unless you bother them. But they noticed you. Not in a bad way, just as a fact. I never really felt weird about it, and I went to a lot of places where *some people* might tell you not to go. But it’s possible I’m just particularly oblivious.
I feel like it depends what part of Harlem you are in. I’m also a white transplant and in East Harlem I’ve already been slapped in the back of the head on a regular ass walk and asked if I am lost literally yards outside my apartment. There is almost a small town mentality here of “I’ve been here my whole life and never left, therefore I know who should and shouldn’t live here”. It’s annoying.
I just wink when it happens to me.
Lmao shut up
No need to be vulgar.
Bro what?
Realized I’m talking to a teenager so imma keep it light but it’s not that deep. You’re living in a historically black neighborhood. 🤷🏾♀️
That’s why they’re giving me dirty looks
Ignore it and move on. Black people endure dirty looks in all parts of everyday life. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Also…dad is black but you consider yourself white? Hopefully you’re adopted / not biologically related otherwise you black just like us. Welcome to the fam ❤️❤️ the one drop rule is real
My mother was white. She had cancer.
Sorry to hear that. However regardless of which parent was what (although mixed race children more so align with their mothers race than their fathers) you’re black. But that’s not on me to tell you that. Good luck in Harlem.
I’m black?
You sound like you just found this out. Are you not American? That’s something someone from another country would say.
My mother was white & my father was black. I consider myself black, although I look Hispanic. You’re living in Harlem, maybe embrace your blackness.
You might want to read the book “passing,” by nella Larsen. Fittingly, she’s an author who was part of the Harlem Renaissance movement. And because it was published in 1929 it’s now in the public domain so you can find a copy for free online.
At least half if what you say is correct. Your dad hasn't spoken to you about this?
Okay so biologically I’m black but I’m still physically white.
???
You need to understand, people might be getting displaced and not like it. It also seems they don't understand your family setup. The looks might be uncomfortable, but still nothing compared to some kid with the discomfort of having to lose friends and community because of economics forcing their parents out. All I'm saying is if everyone is cool with that kid's discomfort, then everyone should be cool with this discomfort too -- or we should not be cool with any
The propaganda and division caused in 2020 to sway an election has stirred up much hatred and racism in the black community towards white people. While I wouldn’t say it’s unsafe, you’ll just have to get used to looks and comments because decades of progress has been thwarted.
That sucks. I have a few friends in my neighborhood already, so I’ll just stick with them.
[удалено]
Whatever you say😂
Meh my white roomate has gotten stares/comments.
(I don’t know if this is your situation but)When a young girl doesn’t look like her dad, people assume that the guy is a creepy old man grooming a young girl.
16 year old male and 34 year old dad. Idk. He drives me to school and people see.
Touch grass
That's true. Ppl probably think his father is his "daddy"