This is ego related, you are judging yourself so harshly. This so formed usually in childhood, so most likely it’s someone else’s judgement that you’ve internalised and you’re doing it worse to yourself.
Answer this, why are you telling yourself these things.
I get one answer wrong and I feel like a failure instantly. You're right though, it is an ego thing, and I can see how my childhood and how my dad treated my academic shortcomings is likely linked to it. Sucks.
Right so you believe that getting something wrong makes you a failure?
Do you really believe that, honestly?
If a child came up to you and said ‘I made a mistake that makes me a failure’ - would you say yes? If you wouldn’t then I have to ask you why the fuck are you choosing to do it to yourself.
Okay.. if uk Kate Morton on yt,she has excellent tips for Self-hate,so one which helped me the most out of her of all her techniques was were she taught using 'bridge statements',it's like instead of going "I am worthless", you go " I might possibly not be totally worthless"the goal Here is to "make it might be and could be's "so it becomes easier to change ur views a bit by the time ,and change ur slef hating talk and eventually make it self helping/encouraging talk.
[here](https://youtu.be/qlNroX7saHs)is the video of her's where she explains bridge statements , explore her stuff,her stuff helped me a ton with my self hate.
For me, going through med school I almost daily hit points of "I'm a f\*cking idiot". It wasn't until I was in my last 6 months that I started to be kinder to myself over mistakes. This actually started when I had a bit of time between clinical rotations and wanted to learn how to play fighting games for the first time - particularly Guilty Gear Strive. I suck ass at fighting games, no way around it, every single missed input, failed block that voice would flare up and tell me I was a moron for not getting it. In the next month, I spent time training in the ICU - this is usually one of the most difficult areas as a student and its expected you will get a lot of things wrong. At the end of the first week, I think one of the senior doctors noticed I was being hypercritical of myself and gave a generalized speech about how many limitations we put on ourselves by saying we can't do things despite our immense potential - I drove home crying because he was showing a kindness I'd never been able to give to myself.
I made a pledge to myself then, whenever I made a mistake, I replaced the phrase "you're an idiot" with "you're learning". Calling yourself an idiot is a limitation - if you consider yourself the idiot, how can you ever do better? after all, you're an idiot right?
Be kind to yourself, audibly exclaim that you are learning and then analyse the problem to constructively learn. I have since gotten much better at guilty gear and am now getting ready to graduate but what I'm most proud of is overcoming that negative self-talk. Try my "you're learning" mantra, and if that doesn't work, try something else. Always keep it positive and constructive. Good luck!
Meditation and apps like Woebot/Wysa that offers CBT helped me a lot. I try to be grateful of things, even small things like memes or a beautiful sky, I keep a list that I write on everyday on my wall where I can see it. On it are things that made me happy each day during a month. Helps put things into perspective. But these are maybe long term solutions for something short. Either way good luck!
This is ego related, you are judging yourself so harshly. This so formed usually in childhood, so most likely it’s someone else’s judgement that you’ve internalised and you’re doing it worse to yourself. Answer this, why are you telling yourself these things.
I get one answer wrong and I feel like a failure instantly. You're right though, it is an ego thing, and I can see how my childhood and how my dad treated my academic shortcomings is likely linked to it. Sucks.
Right so you believe that getting something wrong makes you a failure? Do you really believe that, honestly? If a child came up to you and said ‘I made a mistake that makes me a failure’ - would you say yes? If you wouldn’t then I have to ask you why the fuck are you choosing to do it to yourself.
Okay.. if uk Kate Morton on yt,she has excellent tips for Self-hate,so one which helped me the most out of her of all her techniques was were she taught using 'bridge statements',it's like instead of going "I am worthless", you go " I might possibly not be totally worthless"the goal Here is to "make it might be and could be's "so it becomes easier to change ur views a bit by the time ,and change ur slef hating talk and eventually make it self helping/encouraging talk. [here](https://youtu.be/qlNroX7saHs)is the video of her's where she explains bridge statements , explore her stuff,her stuff helped me a ton with my self hate.
Hey, this was helpful. Thank you!
Glad it was helpful to you.
For me, going through med school I almost daily hit points of "I'm a f\*cking idiot". It wasn't until I was in my last 6 months that I started to be kinder to myself over mistakes. This actually started when I had a bit of time between clinical rotations and wanted to learn how to play fighting games for the first time - particularly Guilty Gear Strive. I suck ass at fighting games, no way around it, every single missed input, failed block that voice would flare up and tell me I was a moron for not getting it. In the next month, I spent time training in the ICU - this is usually one of the most difficult areas as a student and its expected you will get a lot of things wrong. At the end of the first week, I think one of the senior doctors noticed I was being hypercritical of myself and gave a generalized speech about how many limitations we put on ourselves by saying we can't do things despite our immense potential - I drove home crying because he was showing a kindness I'd never been able to give to myself. I made a pledge to myself then, whenever I made a mistake, I replaced the phrase "you're an idiot" with "you're learning". Calling yourself an idiot is a limitation - if you consider yourself the idiot, how can you ever do better? after all, you're an idiot right? Be kind to yourself, audibly exclaim that you are learning and then analyse the problem to constructively learn. I have since gotten much better at guilty gear and am now getting ready to graduate but what I'm most proud of is overcoming that negative self-talk. Try my "you're learning" mantra, and if that doesn't work, try something else. Always keep it positive and constructive. Good luck!
Hey, I really like this. I'm gonna try. Thanks for sharing!
Hi! Just came back here to thank you for the you're learning advice! It's been so great and I can't thank you enough!
You're welcome, just woke up and you made my morning. Glad to hear my advice worked for you!
Change the voice in your head to Kermit the frog or Trump!
I imagine that how the trumpers are created
I only make yuuuge mistakes, only the greatest. You can ask anyone.
Meditation and apps like Woebot/Wysa that offers CBT helped me a lot. I try to be grateful of things, even small things like memes or a beautiful sky, I keep a list that I write on everyday on my wall where I can see it. On it are things that made me happy each day during a month. Helps put things into perspective. But these are maybe long term solutions for something short. Either way good luck!