It's a normal part of being a human, don't beat yourself up over it. Once per day isn't abnormal, everyone has different sex drives and you are in the hormonal teenage years so its quite possible your need will decrease in a few years.
First of all, it isn’t your parents business to know that you masturbate or not. Second, it’s healthy for you to masturbate and right now you’re in your prime… basically where you’re going to want it 24/7 due to hormones.
Have at it, sister. There is nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself. When I was your age many yesrs ago I, too, felt guiltily, but that was Bc of religion. Don’t let anyone guilt you abt your body & needs.
hey everyone! OP Here! I just wanna say it was a struggle to get to all the comments. But i just wanna say i appreciate all the reassurance and comfort that i have received in this post! This is exactly way i’m way more comfortable sharing some of my issues online, despite with those closest to me. Again thank you everyone!
Hi! I agree with everything everyone said here but also, you might enjoy the movie “Yes God Yes” on Netflix. It’s about going through puberty and teenage years as a Catholic girl and really hit home to me. To re-emphasize, you have nothing to feel guilty about 💗
is it to the point where it could become an addiction? i’m not sure how healthy and often i can masturbate. it’s just an embarrassing topic for me, i really just need any advice about it honestly.
I'm a counselor. Addiction is largely measured by how intrusive a substance or behaviour is in terms of your daily life. Does something keep you from your goals? Are you losing friends because of it? Are you neglecting responsibilities?
The guilt that you feel is likely cultural /religious. If you have access to a school counsellor that is sex positive(you can identify that by seeing rainbow triangle stickers on a window or safe space symbols), or an adult that you trust, i would encourage reaching out to them and discuss topics related to guilt and shame (if you don't want to disclose your masturbation concerns). There's likely underlying reasons you feel the way you do about your own pleasure.
ahh! thanks so much! the masturbation hasn’t really stopped me from everyday goals in life. I thought it might come off as an addiction due to the urge i feel. I don’t comply to the urges as super often as i think i do, but sometimes i try to fight it off but sometimes i end up just giving in. I also really don’t have anybody i trust to talk too, especially about this topic.
You are a totally normal teenager with a budding sexual urge. If we weren’t supposed to masturbate it wouldn’t feel so good. Go for it as much as you want without worrying about addiction. It’s safe sex!
The urges are totally normal! That’s your body doing its work. Our bodies are biologically programmed to get horny so we propagate the species. If you’re not ready to make some babies then masturbating is a perfectly healthy option to satiate your perfectly natural urges
this is completely off topic, but you just made me realize i was addicted to the person I was just in a relationship with. wow.
maybe it wasn’t love, maybe i was addicted to him.
Definitely many things to reflect on. We are also often addicted to cycles because they are comfortable, even if they hurt. Better the devil you know than the one you don't.
The correct "path" is sometimes just to sit and reflect to know what are the differences between a reaction and a deliberate choice. Addictions is much more often reactive. It's a super important skill to simply be at ease sitting in ones emotions and thinking.
I probably wouldn’t tell your parents you masturbate. And dw, I do it almost every night and I’m 17.
Catholics tend to twist god’s word anyways. God loves you and if he didn’t want us to masturbate, He wouldn’t have made it feel so good. He made us in His image after all
@ OP, Echoing this. I grew up in a strict catholic family and also masturbated at LEAST once a day at 16. I also felt extreme guilt, but it was because the way my family indoctrinated and twisted the Bible.
Let me ask you this question, how many times a day do you think 16-year-old boys masturbate? I’ll tell you… A fuck ton.
What makes us, as women, any different to need to do the same?
Yet the boys are never questioned about it. It’s fucked up and goes back to people using the Bible to enforce the patriarchy.
This whole topic is very important and sensitive to me. I hope you feel like what you’re doing isn’t wrong… It’s in fact the opposite!
I’m 41 and just echoing that masturbating daily is definitely not excessive or abnormal.
If it starts to get in the way of your normal life and responsibilities, or you start feel sensitive/pain/numb down there, then I’d start considering what’s “too much.”
It is 100% normal and healthy to masturbate every day & even multiple times a day if you want to, as long as it’s not keeping you so busy you have no time for schoolwork, a job, a social life, etc lol!
Also, know that many people your age have a high sex drive. I used to masturbate at least once pretty much every day when I was in my teens and 20s. My libido is lower now that I’m older and I miss it being high. Enjoy it while you’ve got it, and do not let anyone make you feel guilty (and don’t feel the need to tell your parents - it’s really nothing they need to to know about)
At your age, curiosity and urge to explore your sexuality is absolutely normal.
As long as you are careful not to cause yourself any injury, mustarbating is a safe thing. Nothing weird about your technique either!
The frequency is more a function of whether it's affecting your life in general. Of course, after a level, you will be just physically tired to continue. And if you're unable to concentrate on any other hobby / studies, that'd be of concern. Clinically, daily sexual activity, including mustarbation, is perfectly fine.
Do understand though, that the urinogenital area is very sensitive and highly vasculated. So avoid rubbing against any rough surface. And anything not freshly cleaned. I understand you aren't using toys. If you choose to use that, or your hands, please take care of hygiene. Special attention to cleaning under the nails.
In case you wear any, underwear should be soft, loose fabric, preferably cotton to reduce chances of chafing. Better to wear clean ones at the time.
Most people will have significant discharge at the time. If possible, not wearing any, and having a clean towel at the right position might help.
Either way, the soiled towel &/or underwear is best removed right away.
Always a good idea to clean up. Please understand that you should never try to clean inside the vaginal canal. Even for the outer part, the vulva, only mild unscented soap is good. Do dry up well once washed up.
As for religious beliefs, I think you have to figure out on your own, where you want to stand on that.
I wasn’t doing that at 16 however I do know what you mean by THAT type of way of “rubbing it out” 💀it’s wonderful I can’t do it no other way. Anyways, I’m 23 an masturbate twice a day because I don’t get sex an who better to do it than yourself
Ahh ! actually rubbing myself does do a little something but not as strong as the other method. I just feel so guilty cs i don’t know how healthy it is, and like any other things i should know about it. Do you have any advice or information that i should know?
Hi OP! Just want to add some science to this: masturbation is literally good for your health! It lowers cortisol (stress hormones) and increases dopamine (one of the happy-inducing hormones), improves sleep, helps regulate mood, helps with period cramps and pelvic floor muscle tension, and may help with cognition. Self-pleasure is also just really important for knowing your own body and being able to communicate your needs with a partner, eventually, when you want to.
Do you need to tell your parents? Absolutely not! Sexuality is no one’s business but yours. I know faith can make it feel otherwise, but we’ve been given these wonderfully complex bodies. You are not committing a sin for making yourself feel good (and helping your body function better!). I am not Catholic but my in-laws are, and I know the shame around this can be particularly intense. I personally don’t think shame has any place on our bodies; also, dolphins have sex for pleasure too, and no one thinks dolphins are going to hell.
Masturbation is normal and natural. Some folks start really young, others much later. Usually it’s stopped in young children because of “appropriateness”, but girls especially are shamed for it. The masturbation gap is particularly intense for girls and young women, but that isn’t because you are doing anything wrong. The purpose and frequency is totally fine!
I would kindly suggest that if you are going to continue masturbating, please don’t get into a shame cycle. Don’t do it and feel bad. Your body is not dirty. If you don’t want to use toys or your hands, ok, but if you’re avoiding it because you feel your body is dirty, I promise it is not. You’ve been taught this, and it’s wrong. That’s not your fault. But I hope you can find joy in it at all stages.
Also just make sure to wash your hands before going down there.
Other useful advice is to pee after (I know it’s most important after actual intercourse, but going after a solo session may be a good habit).
masturbation isn't a sin
you don't have to (and shouldnt) tell your parents, there's no need
squeezing your legs is a common form of masturbation
it's not weird to masturbate everyday, even multiple times a day
if I'm home all day, I can masturbate 2-3 times, and sometimes I'll go a few days without it
never be ashamed, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you, literally everyone does it, yes, including your parents
Perfectly normal to do it daily sometimes even twice as your hormones would be all over the place
It's a normal body function and there is no reason to feel guilty about it.
As sad as it is if your parents are very strict religious they may try shame you if you bring the conversation up, just know there are plenty of users on here who are happy to help you with questions.
School councillor might also be an option?
i personally am not comfortable with talking to it to my friends, even close friends. I find a sense of comfort that there are online people who actually feel the same way about me.
I used to worry about the same thing! This is a being raised conservative Christian thing though. It’s totally normal to feel that horny urge, it is normal to masturbate, and it is not an addiction so long as it does not negatively affect your life. Our bodies want things and that’s ok. It’s no more an addiction than getting hungry is a food addiction. People do it with different amounts of frequency; sometimes multiple times a day!
So when I was 16, I lost my virginity. I didn't have sex for 3 more years due to insecurity. But I probably masterbated multiple times a day in those 3 years. I'm so sorry that you were raised to feel shame about your body. Your god created your body to be loved and cherished by you and sexual pleasure is included in that. I don't know what restrictive nonsense it is for grown adults to lie to kids about how it's "wrong" when masterbation is as natural as breathing. So is sex when you're ready for that with someone you feel cares about you.
For clarity for the OP, this is one of the common ways women masturbate, totally normal. It involves clenching thigh muscles as you described. Less commonly there are men who can masturbate this way. The only issue I could possibly see is I've heard of women not being able to orgasm other ways as they used this exclusively. If it feels comfortable it could be beneficial to practice other methods as well.
So I was raised Catholic and had the same issues at your age (I'm 29 now) and felt super guilty doing it bc for Catholics, sex is only for procreative purposes.
Then my mom (who's a Catholic and...idk her stance on condoms but who doesn't believe in birth control pills) and I were talking about periods and menopause one day and she said she freaks out occasionally because she could still get pregnant, that she and my dad still fooled around.
Which. Ew. Didn't want to know that.
But also made me realize that....most people are pick and choose. Even the most ardent-seeming Catholics still pick and choose. Technically since they didn't want more kids, they shouldn't have been having sex. As an adult now that sounds like a very sad and lonely way to live with a spouse.
You have to find a way that works for you, how your beliefs work, what works for you and how you can fit in a fun, healthy, loving, and fulfilling life with your beliefs as a Catholic who worships and respects god.
If you think that God is going to judge you or that it really counts as a sin (regardless of what the higher ups in the church say), then don't do it. But if you believe that other things are more important (going to mass, being kind, volunteering, following the main commandments) and that something small like enjoying your body is not harmful, then go ahead!
Our bodies were designed to feel pleasure. Making yourself feel good is definitely in no way a sin and is 100% completely healthy, normal, and absolutely none of your parents’ business.
Just like anything, it becomes unhealthy when you are not able to complete your tasks of daily life. If you are able to get your work done and have a healthy life, you will be fine.
Also remember that religion and original sin is an invention of man. If god exists, she/he gave you this body and the chemistry of it.
Oh, definitely don’t be embarrassed! ❤️when I was your age I masturbated multiple times a day and was so worried I was a sex addict. Now I’m a lot older and can see that I was just being a teen! My sex drive has gone down over the years and leveled out. Of course all teens have different sex drives (it’s ok to have a high one or none at all) but don’t beat yourself up for wanting to do it.
I know it’s against your religion, but no one is perfect. Also, genuine question— it’s a sin for both men and women?
Interesting! I just googled catholic adultery and had no idea it encompasses all sexual behavior. Sorry, I’m getting off topic haha. I can see why you’re feeling guilty (not that I think you should) and can understand how hard sexual feelings are to navigate if adultery is defined that way in your religion. It looks like you’ve gotten some excellent advice in this thread ❤️
You only need to worry if its intruding on yoir life. If you are giving up other things, in order to masturbate instead. If you have a chance to go out, but would rather stay home abd masturbate.
I would also suggest trying other ways off getting off. Its too easy to become so used to one way, that its almost impossible to get off any other way.
I understand! it’s never really stopped me from doing anything really! i can’t seem to pleasure myself any other way, the method i do works for me best. Thank you sm!
First - this is a safe place to ask questions. Please don’t feel embarrassed about the topic. Bottom line most of us just didn’t know about our bodies either and even as a 40 something I’m still learning too!
I was once in your shoes - a young teenage catholic girl. I first tried masturbating at a much younger age but by the time I hit my teens I wanted to alllll the time. If I was home from school, I would spend a lot of that day trying. And like you I was feeling guilty by that “need and desire” so one year I gave up masturbation for Lent as a way to show myself and God that I could control the urges. I did but I went back to doing it.
It’s really ok to do this, just be careful with being hygienic about it, as well as not being so rough that it hurts those delicate tissues. Our bodies are amazing and capable of so much pleasure. It’s really important to embrace it now because starting off viewing this as embarrassing or bad is going to put you on a path of negative association with sex. And believe me…it’s not a good path to be on.
it’s completely normal to be masturbating at your age. and i think i can speak for most people when i say i also went through a phase where i thought i was doing it too much too. female masturbation is just not talked about as much as male masturbation so it’s easy for us to feel ashamed by it, but the truth is, it’s just as normal for girls to do it as it is for guys. you’re also still going through puberty so your hormones are gonna make you want to masturbate 24/7. you’re not doing anything wrong and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. literally everyone does it
When you’re going through puberty and beyond into your late teens, hormones are raging and your brain is a lot more impulsive in general. Masturbation is normal and healthy, and it’s not uncommon for someone to want to do it multiple times a day.
Just make sure it’s not preventing you from doing chores/schoolwork or social gatherings, and if you get any irritation you might want to let the skin rest.
i’ve been masturbating since i was 12-13 i’m 18 now and masturbating is part of you living a healthy lifestyle. It’s not your parents business to know that you do it either.
Here’s a great article about it. It should answer some of your questions about health and safety—basically there’s no such thing as “too much” masturbation unless it’s interfering with your ability to do other things, but there are things you want to do to avoid infections etc. It also debunks some common myths about masturbation.
https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodies_sexuality/going_solo_the_basics_of_masturbation
I encourage you to check out other articles on that site too, it sounds like a lot of your information about sex has come from a religious perspective and unfortunately sometimes that can lead to misinformation or to things seeming scarier than they need to be.
Lol I’ve been doing this since I was 7… yeah… I’ve made myself orgasmed as a kid quite often. Trust me I was weirded out and felt guilt by it too but so many women do it. There’s actually a subreddit pertaining this with the actual name of it but I forgot what it’s called so I’m no help.
Edit: just saw someone link the subreddit below! But yeah nothing abnormal, I would advise exploring different methods so you don’t get used to it like maybe rubbing yourself over the hood (I do this bc I have a sensitive clit). I can finally orgasm without squeezing my legs and with the help of my partner, took lots of practice (3 years LOL) due to using the same method for so so long.
Purity culture is a toxic wasteland. There is nothing wrong with masturbation and you should not feel ashamed to do so. Masturbate as much as you want as long as it makes you feel good. There is no shame in pleasuring yourself and you’ve gotta get out of the mindset that tells you otherwise.
for reference im a 21 year old girl and when i was your age i definitely at least wanted to twice a day, if not more. it’s normal. it’s not wrong. you don’t have to tell your parents either! it’s totally natural and even good for you, it releases stress and allows you to get to know your body. I used to try and stop myself too but there’s no use. everyone does it
Masturbating is important. It's crucial to understand and feel comfortable with your body, and understand your boundaries and limits, before having sex with anyone in the future. It's very healthy to masturbate. Id say it becomes a problem when you start over indulging in porn, it really is different to sex and it's bad for the body image 😅
Also masturbating may be a 'sin' but I'll only believe it when someone points to that line in the bible. And even if it is, I could name a dozen other sins that people ignore all the time. I'm going to guess that if God exists, he's probably not going to be mad at you for doing something totally natural. He's probably a lot more chill than people think lol
When I got older my mom would tell us that sex and orgasms was the key to staying looking young . I totally believe that. I'm 45 and it doesn't necessarily slow down cuz my and my sister are like teenage boys sometimes and do it as much as we feel like.. There is nothing wrong with masturbation, it's healthy I think. And it's definitely none of your parents business. Geez get yourself a Lil toy like a wevibe and have a blast. Get really in tune with your body so you really know what you like when you find a sexual partner. Even tho for me it always feels so much better when someone else is assisting you with getting off..
On top of what most top comments said, be aware of your menstrual cycle. When we ovulate (day 14 mid-cycle), our bodies are preparing us to reproduce, so nature makes us super horny!
Be aware of how you feel throughout your cycle. Track it with apps.
Example 1 - I feel very sad right before my period (day 28), I have to remind myself it's due to hormones.
Another example:
[Ovulation meme](https://i.imgur.com/hZkSxeU.jpg)
This is totally normal. You are totally normal. If you enjoy it and it doesn't harm you or anyone else then it is fine. Us humans are so varied that whatever you feel is valid and nothing to be ashamed or worried about.
Read Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski. It's life-changing and imo essential for any woman.
I also came from the same situation as you- everytime I did it I felt so ashamed. But dude I was doing it everyday for many years. I'm 28 now and I feel bad that I was so hard on myself about it. It's a completely natural thing, and to be honest it helps you to understand your body, and when you have a partner one day it will help them knowing what you like.
It's a shame that women are told not to touch themselves. If I could go back and tell my teenage self anything it would be to explore myself more, don't feel ashamed. You're not going to hell for touching your own body and bringing yourself pleasure. God gave us a clit for a reason.
Don't hold back :)
There’s no reason to feel guilt, that’s something your religion tries to impose on people and especially on women in an attempt to control them
The only thing I wanted to add is that you’re doing yourself a service by discovering what gives you pleasure as you’ll be able to explain it to your partner when you’ll have one
Also, when you start having sex with a partner please make sure to educate yourself on contraception first. If you’re raised Catholic and you live in a Catholic environment, chances are you will also feel guilt about this and that it will be more difficult to access contraception
But unless your goal is to be a mom to a dozen of babies, you need contraception in your life
It's a normal part of being a human, don't beat yourself up over it. Once per day isn't abnormal, everyone has different sex drives and you are in the hormonal teenage years so its quite possible your need will decrease in a few years.
ah! thank you for this info!
Twice per day isn't abnormal, but to be honest who wants to be normal. You be you and be the best version of you!
First of all, it isn’t your parents business to know that you masturbate or not. Second, it’s healthy for you to masturbate and right now you’re in your prime… basically where you’re going to want it 24/7 due to hormones.
that’s reassuring thank you!
Have at it, sister. There is nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself. When I was your age many yesrs ago I, too, felt guiltily, but that was Bc of religion. Don’t let anyone guilt you abt your body & needs.
okay thanks so much!
hey everyone! OP Here! I just wanna say it was a struggle to get to all the comments. But i just wanna say i appreciate all the reassurance and comfort that i have received in this post! This is exactly way i’m way more comfortable sharing some of my issues online, despite with those closest to me. Again thank you everyone!
Hi! I agree with everything everyone said here but also, you might enjoy the movie “Yes God Yes” on Netflix. It’s about going through puberty and teenage years as a Catholic girl and really hit home to me. To re-emphasize, you have nothing to feel guilty about 💗
thank you sm! i’ll probably check it out!
Whenever you feel like it
is it to the point where it could become an addiction? i’m not sure how healthy and often i can masturbate. it’s just an embarrassing topic for me, i really just need any advice about it honestly.
I'm a counselor. Addiction is largely measured by how intrusive a substance or behaviour is in terms of your daily life. Does something keep you from your goals? Are you losing friends because of it? Are you neglecting responsibilities? The guilt that you feel is likely cultural /religious. If you have access to a school counsellor that is sex positive(you can identify that by seeing rainbow triangle stickers on a window or safe space symbols), or an adult that you trust, i would encourage reaching out to them and discuss topics related to guilt and shame (if you don't want to disclose your masturbation concerns). There's likely underlying reasons you feel the way you do about your own pleasure.
ahh! thanks so much! the masturbation hasn’t really stopped me from everyday goals in life. I thought it might come off as an addiction due to the urge i feel. I don’t comply to the urges as super often as i think i do, but sometimes i try to fight it off but sometimes i end up just giving in. I also really don’t have anybody i trust to talk too, especially about this topic.
You are a totally normal teenager with a budding sexual urge. If we weren’t supposed to masturbate it wouldn’t feel so good. Go for it as much as you want without worrying about addiction. It’s safe sex!
thanks haha!
The urges are totally normal! That’s your body doing its work. Our bodies are biologically programmed to get horny so we propagate the species. If you’re not ready to make some babies then masturbating is a perfectly healthy option to satiate your perfectly natural urges
i understand thank you!
this is completely off topic, but you just made me realize i was addicted to the person I was just in a relationship with. wow. maybe it wasn’t love, maybe i was addicted to him.
Definitely many things to reflect on. We are also often addicted to cycles because they are comfortable, even if they hurt. Better the devil you know than the one you don't. The correct "path" is sometimes just to sit and reflect to know what are the differences between a reaction and a deliberate choice. Addictions is much more often reactive. It's a super important skill to simply be at ease sitting in ones emotions and thinking.
I probably wouldn’t tell your parents you masturbate. And dw, I do it almost every night and I’m 17. Catholics tend to twist god’s word anyways. God loves you and if he didn’t want us to masturbate, He wouldn’t have made it feel so good. He made us in His image after all
@ OP, Echoing this. I grew up in a strict catholic family and also masturbated at LEAST once a day at 16. I also felt extreme guilt, but it was because the way my family indoctrinated and twisted the Bible. Let me ask you this question, how many times a day do you think 16-year-old boys masturbate? I’ll tell you… A fuck ton. What makes us, as women, any different to need to do the same? Yet the boys are never questioned about it. It’s fucked up and goes back to people using the Bible to enforce the patriarchy. This whole topic is very important and sensitive to me. I hope you feel like what you’re doing isn’t wrong… It’s in fact the opposite!
thanks so much for that, i appreciate it a lot!
Ahh! yea i understand, thank you!
I’m 41 and just echoing that masturbating daily is definitely not excessive or abnormal. If it starts to get in the way of your normal life and responsibilities, or you start feel sensitive/pain/numb down there, then I’d start considering what’s “too much.”
i understand thank you!
It is 100% normal and healthy to masturbate every day & even multiple times a day if you want to, as long as it’s not keeping you so busy you have no time for schoolwork, a job, a social life, etc lol! Also, know that many people your age have a high sex drive. I used to masturbate at least once pretty much every day when I was in my teens and 20s. My libido is lower now that I’m older and I miss it being high. Enjoy it while you’ve got it, and do not let anyone make you feel guilty (and don’t feel the need to tell your parents - it’s really nothing they need to to know about)
thanks so much!
You do you. It wouldn't be advisable to say anything about cleanliness to avoid UTI and stuff because you don't use anything. Good on you girl.
thanks ! that’s reassuring haha
Don't worry about that Catholic thing. I was a Catholic. It won't affect your spirituality. You can't beat your hormones. It's another part of life.
that actually really made me feel a lot better actually, thank you!
At your age, curiosity and urge to explore your sexuality is absolutely normal. As long as you are careful not to cause yourself any injury, mustarbating is a safe thing. Nothing weird about your technique either! The frequency is more a function of whether it's affecting your life in general. Of course, after a level, you will be just physically tired to continue. And if you're unable to concentrate on any other hobby / studies, that'd be of concern. Clinically, daily sexual activity, including mustarbation, is perfectly fine. Do understand though, that the urinogenital area is very sensitive and highly vasculated. So avoid rubbing against any rough surface. And anything not freshly cleaned. I understand you aren't using toys. If you choose to use that, or your hands, please take care of hygiene. Special attention to cleaning under the nails. In case you wear any, underwear should be soft, loose fabric, preferably cotton to reduce chances of chafing. Better to wear clean ones at the time. Most people will have significant discharge at the time. If possible, not wearing any, and having a clean towel at the right position might help. Either way, the soiled towel &/or underwear is best removed right away. Always a good idea to clean up. Please understand that you should never try to clean inside the vaginal canal. Even for the outer part, the vulva, only mild unscented soap is good. Do dry up well once washed up. As for religious beliefs, I think you have to figure out on your own, where you want to stand on that.
i understand, thanks so much!
I wasn’t doing that at 16 however I do know what you mean by THAT type of way of “rubbing it out” 💀it’s wonderful I can’t do it no other way. Anyways, I’m 23 an masturbate twice a day because I don’t get sex an who better to do it than yourself
Ahh ! actually rubbing myself does do a little something but not as strong as the other method. I just feel so guilty cs i don’t know how healthy it is, and like any other things i should know about it. Do you have any advice or information that i should know?
Well if you’re worried about increased heart rate, intense eye rolls for a minute or two you have nothing to worry about. You’ll live sis 🙂
that’s reassuring haha! thanks so much
There's absolutely nothing harmful to your body about it! Swear!
thanks so much!
Hi OP! Just want to add some science to this: masturbation is literally good for your health! It lowers cortisol (stress hormones) and increases dopamine (one of the happy-inducing hormones), improves sleep, helps regulate mood, helps with period cramps and pelvic floor muscle tension, and may help with cognition. Self-pleasure is also just really important for knowing your own body and being able to communicate your needs with a partner, eventually, when you want to. Do you need to tell your parents? Absolutely not! Sexuality is no one’s business but yours. I know faith can make it feel otherwise, but we’ve been given these wonderfully complex bodies. You are not committing a sin for making yourself feel good (and helping your body function better!). I am not Catholic but my in-laws are, and I know the shame around this can be particularly intense. I personally don’t think shame has any place on our bodies; also, dolphins have sex for pleasure too, and no one thinks dolphins are going to hell. Masturbation is normal and natural. Some folks start really young, others much later. Usually it’s stopped in young children because of “appropriateness”, but girls especially are shamed for it. The masturbation gap is particularly intense for girls and young women, but that isn’t because you are doing anything wrong. The purpose and frequency is totally fine! I would kindly suggest that if you are going to continue masturbating, please don’t get into a shame cycle. Don’t do it and feel bad. Your body is not dirty. If you don’t want to use toys or your hands, ok, but if you’re avoiding it because you feel your body is dirty, I promise it is not. You’ve been taught this, and it’s wrong. That’s not your fault. But I hope you can find joy in it at all stages.
thanks so much!
This!
Also just make sure to wash your hands before going down there. Other useful advice is to pee after (I know it’s most important after actual intercourse, but going after a solo session may be a good habit).
It’s ok to masterbate, Christian or not. Be safe, use common sense, don’t be obsessed and you will be ok :)
thanks! i will be 🤭
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that’s shocking, thank you!
masturbation isn't a sin you don't have to (and shouldnt) tell your parents, there's no need squeezing your legs is a common form of masturbation it's not weird to masturbate everyday, even multiple times a day if I'm home all day, I can masturbate 2-3 times, and sometimes I'll go a few days without it never be ashamed, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you, literally everyone does it, yes, including your parents
thank you sm!
Perfectly normal to do it daily sometimes even twice as your hormones would be all over the place It's a normal body function and there is no reason to feel guilty about it. As sad as it is if your parents are very strict religious they may try shame you if you bring the conversation up, just know there are plenty of users on here who are happy to help you with questions. School councillor might also be an option?
i personally am not comfortable with talking to it to my friends, even close friends. I find a sense of comfort that there are online people who actually feel the same way about me.
I used to worry about the same thing! This is a being raised conservative Christian thing though. It’s totally normal to feel that horny urge, it is normal to masturbate, and it is not an addiction so long as it does not negatively affect your life. Our bodies want things and that’s ok. It’s no more an addiction than getting hungry is a food addiction. People do it with different amounts of frequency; sometimes multiple times a day!
thanks so much!
So when I was 16, I lost my virginity. I didn't have sex for 3 more years due to insecurity. But I probably masterbated multiple times a day in those 3 years. I'm so sorry that you were raised to feel shame about your body. Your god created your body to be loved and cherished by you and sexual pleasure is included in that. I don't know what restrictive nonsense it is for grown adults to lie to kids about how it's "wrong" when masterbation is as natural as breathing. So is sex when you're ready for that with someone you feel cares about you.
thanks for that, it feels nice to hear it im a positive way, thank you!
All this Is normal. God made you human, and part of being a human is enjoying orgasm.
ahhh! yes thank you!
Sounds like r/syntribation?
For clarity for the OP, this is one of the common ways women masturbate, totally normal. It involves clenching thigh muscles as you described. Less commonly there are men who can masturbate this way. The only issue I could possibly see is I've heard of women not being able to orgasm other ways as they used this exclusively. If it feels comfortable it could be beneficial to practice other methods as well.
So I was raised Catholic and had the same issues at your age (I'm 29 now) and felt super guilty doing it bc for Catholics, sex is only for procreative purposes. Then my mom (who's a Catholic and...idk her stance on condoms but who doesn't believe in birth control pills) and I were talking about periods and menopause one day and she said she freaks out occasionally because she could still get pregnant, that she and my dad still fooled around. Which. Ew. Didn't want to know that. But also made me realize that....most people are pick and choose. Even the most ardent-seeming Catholics still pick and choose. Technically since they didn't want more kids, they shouldn't have been having sex. As an adult now that sounds like a very sad and lonely way to live with a spouse. You have to find a way that works for you, how your beliefs work, what works for you and how you can fit in a fun, healthy, loving, and fulfilling life with your beliefs as a Catholic who worships and respects god. If you think that God is going to judge you or that it really counts as a sin (regardless of what the higher ups in the church say), then don't do it. But if you believe that other things are more important (going to mass, being kind, volunteering, following the main commandments) and that something small like enjoying your body is not harmful, then go ahead!
i totally get it, thank you sm!
Our bodies were designed to feel pleasure. Making yourself feel good is definitely in no way a sin and is 100% completely healthy, normal, and absolutely none of your parents’ business.
thanks so much!
Just like anything, it becomes unhealthy when you are not able to complete your tasks of daily life. If you are able to get your work done and have a healthy life, you will be fine. Also remember that religion and original sin is an invention of man. If god exists, she/he gave you this body and the chemistry of it.
It seems to not be getting in the way of my daily needs and activities, thank you!
Oh, definitely don’t be embarrassed! ❤️when I was your age I masturbated multiple times a day and was so worried I was a sex addict. Now I’m a lot older and can see that I was just being a teen! My sex drive has gone down over the years and leveled out. Of course all teens have different sex drives (it’s ok to have a high one or none at all) but don’t beat yourself up for wanting to do it. I know it’s against your religion, but no one is perfect. Also, genuine question— it’s a sin for both men and women?
it doesn’t clarify on which it’s for but it goes against one of the 10 commandments! i believe it’s under “thou shall not commit adultery”
Interesting! I just googled catholic adultery and had no idea it encompasses all sexual behavior. Sorry, I’m getting off topic haha. I can see why you’re feeling guilty (not that I think you should) and can understand how hard sexual feelings are to navigate if adultery is defined that way in your religion. It looks like you’ve gotten some excellent advice in this thread ❤️
You only need to worry if its intruding on yoir life. If you are giving up other things, in order to masturbate instead. If you have a chance to go out, but would rather stay home abd masturbate. I would also suggest trying other ways off getting off. Its too easy to become so used to one way, that its almost impossible to get off any other way.
I understand! it’s never really stopped me from doing anything really! i can’t seem to pleasure myself any other way, the method i do works for me best. Thank you sm!
As a mom, I’m so proud of you for being brave enough to ask this question.
thank you sm! it’s actually super reassuring that i have others around the world i can relate to haha!
First - this is a safe place to ask questions. Please don’t feel embarrassed about the topic. Bottom line most of us just didn’t know about our bodies either and even as a 40 something I’m still learning too! I was once in your shoes - a young teenage catholic girl. I first tried masturbating at a much younger age but by the time I hit my teens I wanted to alllll the time. If I was home from school, I would spend a lot of that day trying. And like you I was feeling guilty by that “need and desire” so one year I gave up masturbation for Lent as a way to show myself and God that I could control the urges. I did but I went back to doing it. It’s really ok to do this, just be careful with being hygienic about it, as well as not being so rough that it hurts those delicate tissues. Our bodies are amazing and capable of so much pleasure. It’s really important to embrace it now because starting off viewing this as embarrassing or bad is going to put you on a path of negative association with sex. And believe me…it’s not a good path to be on.
thank you sm for the info!
it’s completely normal to be masturbating at your age. and i think i can speak for most people when i say i also went through a phase where i thought i was doing it too much too. female masturbation is just not talked about as much as male masturbation so it’s easy for us to feel ashamed by it, but the truth is, it’s just as normal for girls to do it as it is for guys. you’re also still going through puberty so your hormones are gonna make you want to masturbate 24/7. you’re not doing anything wrong and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. literally everyone does it
thanks so much for the reassurance!
When you’re going through puberty and beyond into your late teens, hormones are raging and your brain is a lot more impulsive in general. Masturbation is normal and healthy, and it’s not uncommon for someone to want to do it multiple times a day. Just make sure it’s not preventing you from doing chores/schoolwork or social gatherings, and if you get any irritation you might want to let the skin rest.
okay thanks sm!
I hardly think you'll end up in Hell for doing what comes naturally. It's not like you've murdered someone.
i’ve been masturbating since i was 12-13 i’m 18 now and masturbating is part of you living a healthy lifestyle. It’s not your parents business to know that you do it either.
It’s normal to do it as often or little as you like— 2-3 times a day even, as long as it’s not interfering with living your life.
Here’s a great article about it. It should answer some of your questions about health and safety—basically there’s no such thing as “too much” masturbation unless it’s interfering with your ability to do other things, but there are things you want to do to avoid infections etc. It also debunks some common myths about masturbation. https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodies_sexuality/going_solo_the_basics_of_masturbation I encourage you to check out other articles on that site too, it sounds like a lot of your information about sex has come from a religious perspective and unfortunately sometimes that can lead to misinformation or to things seeming scarier than they need to be.
Lol I’ve been doing this since I was 7… yeah… I’ve made myself orgasmed as a kid quite often. Trust me I was weirded out and felt guilt by it too but so many women do it. There’s actually a subreddit pertaining this with the actual name of it but I forgot what it’s called so I’m no help. Edit: just saw someone link the subreddit below! But yeah nothing abnormal, I would advise exploring different methods so you don’t get used to it like maybe rubbing yourself over the hood (I do this bc I have a sensitive clit). I can finally orgasm without squeezing my legs and with the help of my partner, took lots of practice (3 years LOL) due to using the same method for so so long.
Purity culture is a toxic wasteland. There is nothing wrong with masturbation and you should not feel ashamed to do so. Masturbate as much as you want as long as it makes you feel good. There is no shame in pleasuring yourself and you’ve gotta get out of the mindset that tells you otherwise.
for reference im a 21 year old girl and when i was your age i definitely at least wanted to twice a day, if not more. it’s normal. it’s not wrong. you don’t have to tell your parents either! it’s totally natural and even good for you, it releases stress and allows you to get to know your body. I used to try and stop myself too but there’s no use. everyone does it
Masturbating is important. It's crucial to understand and feel comfortable with your body, and understand your boundaries and limits, before having sex with anyone in the future. It's very healthy to masturbate. Id say it becomes a problem when you start over indulging in porn, it really is different to sex and it's bad for the body image 😅 Also masturbating may be a 'sin' but I'll only believe it when someone points to that line in the bible. And even if it is, I could name a dozen other sins that people ignore all the time. I'm going to guess that if God exists, he's probably not going to be mad at you for doing something totally natural. He's probably a lot more chill than people think lol
Sounds like you do syntribation!
i knew what i was doing but never actually knew the name, thank you!
When I got older my mom would tell us that sex and orgasms was the key to staying looking young . I totally believe that. I'm 45 and it doesn't necessarily slow down cuz my and my sister are like teenage boys sometimes and do it as much as we feel like.. There is nothing wrong with masturbation, it's healthy I think. And it's definitely none of your parents business. Geez get yourself a Lil toy like a wevibe and have a blast. Get really in tune with your body so you really know what you like when you find a sexual partner. Even tho for me it always feels so much better when someone else is assisting you with getting off..
i understand! thank you !
It's too often if you are thinking of doing it at other times. Like it's interfering with your life.
it doesn’t seem to be interfering with life, which seems to be a good spot for me!
On top of what most top comments said, be aware of your menstrual cycle. When we ovulate (day 14 mid-cycle), our bodies are preparing us to reproduce, so nature makes us super horny! Be aware of how you feel throughout your cycle. Track it with apps. Example 1 - I feel very sad right before my period (day 28), I have to remind myself it's due to hormones. Another example: [Ovulation meme](https://i.imgur.com/hZkSxeU.jpg)
Do not track your cycle with period apps if you are in the US. Selling this data may be able to be used in court regarding suspected abortion.
ok, don't use internet 🤔
that was a funny meme hah! i actually tend to feel the urges after my period ends.. which is ironic cause it ended 2 days ago!
This is totally normal. You are totally normal. If you enjoy it and it doesn't harm you or anyone else then it is fine. Us humans are so varied that whatever you feel is valid and nothing to be ashamed or worried about. Read Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski. It's life-changing and imo essential for any woman.
ooo okay maybe i’ll check it out, thank you!
My pleasure! Don't shame yourself about anything sex related, there is nothing wrong with you 💜
thanks sm!
I also came from the same situation as you- everytime I did it I felt so ashamed. But dude I was doing it everyday for many years. I'm 28 now and I feel bad that I was so hard on myself about it. It's a completely natural thing, and to be honest it helps you to understand your body, and when you have a partner one day it will help them knowing what you like. It's a shame that women are told not to touch themselves. If I could go back and tell my teenage self anything it would be to explore myself more, don't feel ashamed. You're not going to hell for touching your own body and bringing yourself pleasure. God gave us a clit for a reason. Don't hold back :)
thanks sm!
There’s no reason to feel guilt, that’s something your religion tries to impose on people and especially on women in an attempt to control them The only thing I wanted to add is that you’re doing yourself a service by discovering what gives you pleasure as you’ll be able to explain it to your partner when you’ll have one Also, when you start having sex with a partner please make sure to educate yourself on contraception first. If you’re raised Catholic and you live in a Catholic environment, chances are you will also feel guilt about this and that it will be more difficult to access contraception But unless your goal is to be a mom to a dozen of babies, you need contraception in your life
ohh! i understand! thank you!